Chapter 21: Whispered Shout

Carlisle's Point of View

I was in heaven.

Bella was in my arms.

"You're married." Her words didn't register to me until she pushed me away.

I was in hell.

"I can't help you break your vows. I couldn't respect myself if I was some whore of a mistress. I just can't-" I nodded and my body went on autopilot. I was stupid and foolish to kiss her like that. I was just a dirty old adulterous to her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to put you is such a situation." She couldn't look me in the eyes and I felt a stab through my heart. She gasped and I followed her line of sight.

"Esme."

I watched my wife run away. Bella and I followed all too soon after. She stopped me outside of the house and I panicked. Too many thoughts rushed through my head.

I had pined after Bella for too many years on no basis after only two chance encounters. I felt pathetic. I felt despicable. I was desperate.

And then Bella bestowed onto me a little piece of paradise lost. She reached up with those delicate little hands of her and brushed my hair back. I tried to hold my feelings in, but when she ran her hands down my chest, straightening out my shirt I knew I couldn't suppress it anymore.

I was in love with Bella.

Perhaps, from her actions she at least had some tender feelings towards me, but that was only a hope.

My happy musings faded away as we entered the house I once treasured. I now had a slight distaste to it.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I stepped through the door, but it wasn't this calmness. It felt eerie, like the quite before a storm.

Esme was picking up the shrapnel of the table Bella had destroyed this morning. I was confident that she already ordered a replica piece.

I stood awkwardly just inside of the doorway. I should have listened to Jasper. I should have thought before acting. I should have done a lot of things, but that was the past and I already fucked up the present. I can't worry about the past when the it is screaming right in my face.

Music started blaring from upstairs and I noticed Bella had escaped to her room. I envied her for that.

Finally, I manned up and joined Esme in the dining room. I helped her pick up the large chunks of wood. She didn't look at me, just continued. When most of it was cleaned Esme fetched the broom and pan from the kitchen. Wordlessly, she handed me the pan and I squatted down to hold it.

A part of me wanted Esme to sweep the sawdust in my face for my sins. But she didn't, such actions were just out of her meek character. In measured motions she brushed the broom across the hardwood floor, gathering the mess into the pan.

I followed her back into the kitchen just waiting for her to explode. She dampened a cloth and started picking up the small dust particles trapped in the crevices of the floorboards.

"Esme stop!" I wanted to shout, but it came out as a whisper. She looked up at me with wide eyes. "We need to talk about this." Esme stood up and held the damp rag to her chest.

"Talk about what?"

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I hated hurting her, but I hated more that Bella thought, well knew, that I was a bad husband.

"Please don't be like that. Just talk to me about what just happened."

"Nothing happened. Bella and you were just hunting."

Esme turned back to her work and I shook my head and walked to my office feeling like a complete failure.

Third Person's Point of View

The floor was absolutely immaculate. Esme had made sure of that. She was always perfect when it came to cleaning, even in her human life.

The water faucet beneath her fingers had the same temperature as her as she turned it on to wet a sponge. With a weak squeeze the sponge formed suds. She ran the sponge over the countertop she had regrouted a few days back.

Her hand had broken through the granite countertop as her mind remained blank.

"Oh!" Esme's face scrunched up. "Emmett! Who broke the countertop?" Emmett couldn't hear her over his videogame and music from upstairs. She stamped her feet into the living room and right in front of the TV.

"Mom, you're blocking the game!" Emmett whined while leaning to his side trying to see the screen. Peter still had a good view and was taking the lead.

"Did you break the countertop in the kitchen?" Emmett didn't avert his eyes from the television.

"It was fine an hour ago when me and Pete walked through it. Maybe Bella broke it. She's a newborn, stuff like that is bound to happen." Esme bristled, her eyes darkening.

"Bella, that sweet girl, would never break anything!" Emmett finally looked away from the TV, stunned. Peter paused the game, equally as shocked as Emmett.

"Are you okay?" Emmett stood up and placed his hand on Esme's shoulder. Esme's face warped from fury to a small smile in the space of a second.

"Of course I'm fine. Why ever do you ask?"

I feel like… my writing skills are going to waste here.