Hey, I'm really loving writing this at the moment, and this is my favorite chapter so far. I'd like to thank Austentatious quickly, I will sort out the strait/straight thing as soon as possible. Thank you for reading!

Millie xxx

Chapter 21

James looked over the dining hall, and saw that his friends were all sitting with Lily's group. Lily herself was eating cereal, looking bored and ignored whilst everyone else chatted animatedly. Marlene wasn't there, James didn't know why, and Alice was sat on the other side of the group doing some last minute homework. He gulped, then made his way over to the table, sitting opposite Lily.

"Hey guys." He offered to everyone, but they continued their conversation after a couple of forced grunts. They were all in 'couple bubbles', not caring about anyone else. Lily looked up at James.

"Hello." She actually looked happy to see him. James felt kind of warm inside at that thought.

"You alright?" He asked, looking her right in the eye.

"Fine." She looked down, obviously not fine.

"Want to walk to class?" He suggested, mentally crossing his fingers.

"Sure." She smiled. She picked up her books from beside her and followed him to the entrance hall. James saw a few people looking at them in surprise, but Lily didn't seem to notice. He slung his bag over his shoulder and looked at her face.

"What's up?" James said as soon as they were in the corridor.

"Oh nothing, I'm just feeling a little ignored." Lily sighed. "They're all 'together' now. It's like I don't exist."

"I know how you feel." James replied. "Sirius has barely talked to me since Saturday."

"Why? Why does them being in relationships make them ignore everything else?" Lily said without thinking.

"They're complete. They've got each other." James said quietly. Lily looked at him for a second, scanning his face.

"Well, urm," she coughed. "I better go. I'll see you later." She leaned close toward him and gave him a fleeting hug. It was the closest she'd ever been to him, and James felt his goodbye stick in his throat. By the time his speech had come back to him she was gone.

Lily didn't know what was happening to her, but she didn't like it. All her friends were together in couple heaven, and she was still stuck on earth, alone. She didn't want to settle for anyone she didn't love, but now she was starting to doubt whether anyone would have her if she did want them.

"But what about James?" Her head thought. She stamped out that idea immediately. No way, they were nothing but friends, and that was just for convenience. She would not allow herself to sucked in by his charm.

"Miss Evans, are you with us?" Professor Slughorn dragged her from her thoughts.

"Sorry Professor. Yes, sorry." Lily stuttered.

"Quite alright my dear girl." He turned his attention back to the class, while Lily slipped back into her trance.

She and James actually got on well, something she hadn't expected at all. She enjoyed him company, his conversation. He wasn't as idiotic as she'd always thought him, she liked him. She shook her head. This was dangerous talk, and she didn't like what she was feeling. She did not like James. She didn't. But if Lily was actually honest with herself, she did like him. A lot.

"What is wrong with me?" She hissed to herself.

"What?" Alice asked, who was sitting next to her.

"Nothing. Never mind." Lily muttered. The bell went, signalling the end of the lesson. She leapt up and left the room as quickly as possible. She knew the next lesson was in only a few minutes, but she ducked into the girl's toilets. She felt a few tears squeeze themselves out of her eyes, and she grabbed a tissue to catch them. She realised she was crying, and ran some cold water, starting to scrub at her face. She didn't understand why she was upset. She looked at her watch, and saw she was nearly ten minutes late already. She ran out into the corridor, straight into James.

James was running late. Someone had charmed a first year's nose to resemble that of a pig, and James had escorted him to the Hospital Wing, before realising he had to get all the way to the Astronomy Tower. He'd been jogging up there when Lily had run out of the girl's toilet into him, knocking them both onto the floor. Lily looked up at James and saw she'd pushed him over.

"Oh my God, James, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Lily apologised.

"Lily, I'm fine. Are you okay?" James examined her face, and saw that she'd been crying. "Have you been crying?"

"No, it's nothing." Lily got up off the stone floor. "I need to get to lessons, and so do you."

James also stood up. "You're more important than lessons, Lily. What's happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, I told you, I'm fine!" Lily said, but she felt more hot tears stream down her face.

"Lily, it's okay!" James said pulling her close to his chest and rocking her, as if she was a child.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me." Lily sniffed. "I don't want to get your uniform all disgusting."

She pulled away and took out a tissue to dab at her eyes.

James felt awful. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't save her, as much as he wanted to. He wanted to tell her that he didn't care about his uniform, class or anything, that he just wanted to hold her and make everything alright.

Lily's tears were dry now, and she managed a grateful smile in James's direction. Her expression turned to a frown as she heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

"Oh no!" She said, panic-stricken. "What are we going to do?"

"Okay Lily," James knew what he had to do. "If I get us out of this, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"What is it?" Lily asked, looking worried. "You're not going to hex anyone, are you? I mean, what if that's a teacher?"

"No, this won't harm anybody, but it's against the rules. Please, Lily?" James begged her. The footsteps were getting closer.

"Okay, fine!" Lily said hurriedly. James beckoned her closer, but she kept a few feet between them.

"Lily, this isn't going to work unless you're right next to me." James said urgently.

Lily bit her lip, but obeyed. He took out his invisibility cloak from his bag, and threw it over them, just as the owner of the footsteps came around the corner. He was pretty sure they'd be able to see their feet, the cloak wasn't designed for someone as tall as him, but the three people didn't seem to notice. James tensed as he saw it was Snape and his Slytherin buddies, and he hugged Lily closer to him. He looked at her, and saw a unforgivable sadness in her eyes. As soon as they were gone he removed the cloak.

"What is that?" Lily asked, feeling the material in her hand.

"It's my invisibility cloak. It's been in my family for generations." James explained.

"So that's how you do all your pranks." Lily smiled. "I never got how you pulled some of them off without being seen."

James was glad she wasn't angry or upset at him, but was worried about what Snape was doing.

"What do you think is going on?" He asked her. He didn't need to specify who he was talking about.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Lily said sadly. "I'm worried."

"There's got to be a way to find out what they're doing." James said thoughtfully.

"There is." Lily answered. "Let's follow them."

She took his hand and started to run after them. James grinned and followed her. He caught up and matched her stride perfectly, but didn't let go of her hand. He couldn't help but notice how right it felt, how perfectly her hand fit his. They writhed their way through corridor after corridor, their steps echoing in the empty halls.

They came to a stop. "I think we lost them." Lily laughed. They were in a completely empty hallway. There weren't even any classrooms surrounding them, only an empty broom cupboard. Lily didn't understand why she felt so deliriously happy, but she had an idea that it had something to do with James.

"Oh well." He smiled down at her. "We can always look some other time."

"I'd like that." Lily looked into his hazel eyes. She'd never realised quite how handsome he was. His eyes were soft and kind, his features perfectly chiselled onto his face. They were silent for a minute, just looking at each other. Before she knew what she was doing, she reached up on her tip toes and gently pressed her lips to his.

James felt like his head was exploding. Lily was kissing him. Kissing him. James Potter. This was not happening, it couldn't be.

But it was. "Do NOT mess this up. This has to go right." James thought furiously. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her and bringing her closer to him. Her hands were around his neck, pulling him into the kiss. She wanted this, she wanted him. Her lips were crushed on his, and for that second James felt more happy than he ever knew he could be. He felt himself needing breath, and he knew Lily would too. They pulled apart, and James looked at Lily's face, seeking any indication that she was as blissfully happy as he was in that moment. Her lips were bruised and red, and James was sure she had never looked as incredibly beautiful as she did then.

Lily saw clearly what she had just done. She'd fallen for what she'd sworn she'd never fall for- James Potter's tricks and charm. And it had felt wonderful. She wanted to be sick. She'd become one of those girls she'd always hated, who would just obey his every command as soon as he looked at them. She had to get away, she had to run.

"Lily…" James murmured. He looked as surprised as she was, but there were other things written on his face, which she hated. She felt guilty for what she'd done to him, and that made her hate herself even more. He stroked some of the hair off her face, and Lily could see where this was going. She covered her mouth with her hand.

"I have to go." She spluttered, turning away from him. The look on his face made her want to cry again, he looked hurt and confused.

"Lily, where are you going?" He called after her. "Lily!"

She didn't look back, but returned to the common rooms. She hid in her room until the day was over, mulling over everything that had happened. She couldn't look at herself in the mirror without feeling disappointed and disgusted. She couldn't bare what she'd done, and the worst part was that she felt bad for James, not herself. She collapsed onto her bed, and started to wail into her pillow.

James returned to his room, not sure what had just happened. Lily had just left him, and then he hadn't seen her for the rest of the day. He didn't know what to do, or why she'd left. Their kiss was amazing, why would she just leave straight afterwards? Then James started to think that it was something he'd done wrong. Although he'd had a few 'girlfriends' in first and second year, when he'd met and fallen for Lily, he hadn't dated anyone for fear of her disliking him. What if everything he'd just done was all wrong, and that was why she'd left? But it didn't feel wrong, it felt wonderful. James was worried about her, but let himself hope. If she'd enjoyed that kiss as much as he did, maybe she liked him now. Maybe they could finally be together. That thought made him happy, and he fell asleep hoping like crazy it would turn out to be true.

He awoke the next morning feeling more positive about his situation. He hadn't imagined yesterday, or how utterly brilliant it was. He and Lily had a connection, it wouldn't have felt so perfect if they didn't. He bounded down to the dining hall and saw a similar situation to the previous day, apart from the most important thing missing- Lily. He tried not to let that get him down, but this wasn't difficult with his new found hope.

"Hey everybody!" He said, a broad smile radiating off his face. "Where's Lily?"

Alice shrugged. "I'm not sure. She'll probably be down in a minute."

"Why do you look so cheerful?" Sirius turned his attention away from Elizabeth for a second to ask the question.

"I'm sorry Padfoot, is my happiness upsetting you?" James asked sweetly.

"Shut up." He said, looking at Elizabeth and touching her face. James felt jealous of what they were doing. He needed to see Lily, and soon.

"James." Alice pointed at the entrance to the dining hall. Lily was coming down the centre of the aisles, looking nervous and worried.

James didn't pick up on any of that. He almost tripped up as he got off the bench and ran to greet her.

"What's got into him?" Sirius said, confused.

"Lily!" James screeched to a halt in front of her. "Hello." He grinned at her. He wanted to hug her, but he suddenly felt very shy.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Lily said, not looking him in the face.

"Sure, of course you can." He tried to walk with her, but she kept one step ahead of him, still not making eye contact with him. They were soon out of view.

James smiled at her, but could sense that something was wrong.

"Lily, are you okay?" He tried to get down to her level, but she stopped him.

"James, what happened yesterday, that kiss-" She started.

"I did something wrong didn't I? Oh my God, I'm such an idiot…" James felt like banging his head against the wall.

"You're not an idiot, and you didn't do anything wrong, nothing at all." Lily took a deep breath. "It was my fault."

"What was your fault?" James suddenly felt very nervous.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, it was a mistake." Lily blurted out. James didn't say anything, but just stood there, motionless. "Please, please forgive me."

He was still silent. He could think of absolutely nothing to say.

"James? Look, I'm sorry, I was confused and upset, and it will never happen again, I promise. Just, please forgive me." Lily begged. James still couldn't respond. Lily felt tears start to fall down her face again, and she fled back down the corridor. James wanted to help, but he was in shock.

This morning everything had felt better than it ever had done. But now, Lily didn't like him, and it had been a mistake. James felt like he'd been put into a vice and crushed, and he could do nothing about it. He leant onto the wall before sliding down it, until he was sat on the floor. He covered his face with his hand, trying not to think about everything he thought this conversation would be.