chapter 21
Thank you to Rachelmasonfan for the idea I was really stuck
It was a Friday night and Rachel was waiting in the car for Sophie and holly to come out but they were quite late, after another 10 minutes of waiting Rachel decided to go and see if she could see them.
She walked over to the playground and saw that everyone else had gone suddenly she saw Sophie running towards her.
"Hiya love" Rachel said smiling
"Hi Rachel" Sophie replied putting her arms around Rachel
"You haven't seem holly anywhere have you? We could really do with getting going we're going out tonight remember."
"I think she's with miss hall"
"Oh okay should we go and get her" Rachel said gesturing for Sophie to come with her, Rachel went through and saw holly in floods of tears with her teacher, immediately Rachel rushed over to her, she hated seeing one of her kids upset after a bad day at school.
"Holly what's happened darling? Are you in trouble" Rachel asked putting holly on her knee as she sat down
Holly nodded her head in response before burrowing herself in Rachel's chest.
"Now what's going on" Rachel asked gently but firmly at the same time, she was always there for her kids and never wanted them to be scared of her but at the same time she wasn't one who let there kids get away with murder.
"It's no big deal she's not really in trouble it's just we had a bit of an issue earlier with holly being a bit disruptive in class and then when I asked her to come back at break she ran away I was going to find her and have a word but when I found her she was in floods of tears in the toilet by herself"
"Holly what's this all about huh" Rachel asked
"Nothing" holly replied
"Holly we can only help if you talk to us" miss hall explained
"Leave me alone" holly mumbled
"Has something happened to upset you at school love" Rachel asked holly
Holly shook her head and stared at the ground
"What about at home ? It's just I know holly was really upset a few months back when ..." Miss hall began
"Yes she was but we're over that now" Rachel said a little bluntly, she didn't mean to sound rude but it was still a bit of a sensitive topic
"Oh right, look if you two want to get off that's fine, I understand holly might feel more comfortable talking with you by yourself"
"Okay but I'll keep you informed, when we get home Richard and I will have a talk with her" Rachel said "come on you" she said to holly who immediately jumped up and went out with her mum.
"Don't shout at me mum" holly said sounding worried
"Im not going to shout but I'm going to get to the bottom of this and I'll be speaking to dad about it when we get in"
Holly traipsed behind her mum and Sophie biting her nails anxiously before getting in the car.
"Rachel can I go and play out with Chloe when I get in" Sophie asked
"Yeah get changed first though"
"Can I go out too" holly asked not wanting to face her mum and dad
"No you stay in please" Rachel said
Holly stayed quiet for a bit before biting her nails again, Rachel saw her doing this "holly don't bite your nails, there bad enough already"
Holly didn't say anything in response just turned herself so she was looking out the window away from Sophie and her mum and began to bite her nails again, Rachel sighed when she saw her but decided not to say anything. She was wondering what it was that could have caused all this she had noticed holly becoming quieter around the house and Rachel was beginning to wonder if there was something going on that she hadn't picked up on.
"Mum am I in big trouble" holly asked she'd been putting off asking for a while but she really wanted to know as she hated not knowing whether she was going to be shouted at or not
"Holly I said we'll talk at home" Rachel said not wanting to talk about it with Sophie in the car. Holly sighed before turning back round.
Soon they got home and Rachel quickly unlocked the door "right you two upstairs get changed then you go out Sophie, I'll call you back in, in about half an hour because we are going out for tea remember"
Holly and Sophie both ran upstairs to get changed, however once she was in her room holly just collapsed onto her bed and began to cry, she knew her mum wouldn't understand and she didn't want to explain, she just wanted to stay up here.
"Hi rich" Rachel said as she went into the living room
"Hello you had an okay day"
"Stressful and Holly's in a bit of a state got into trouble today at school but it doesn't feel right Richard she's acting really strangely"
"That doesn't sound like holly she's normally good as gold cheeky and a bit too chatty but it's not like her to get into trouble"
"I know that's why I'm worried"
"Should we talk to her"
"Yeah but don't be too hard on her if there is something going on then you know what Holly's like she'll be scared stiff of getting into trouble, she'll worry herself silly" Rachel said
"Holly come down here love" Richard called
Reluctantly holly stood up and walked downstairs Into the living room where her parents were sitting.
Rachel could see she'd been crying as Holly's eyes were all red "come and sit down love"
Holly went to sit next to her mum
"Now are you going to tell us about today" Rachel asked
Holly just shook her head in response
"No don't want to tell me"
Holly began to cry again so Rachel out her arm around her "now your not in trouble love me and mum just want to help" Richard soothed
"I'm sorry"
"So what happened holly come on just get it off your chest" Rachel persisted
Holly didn't answer just continued to cry
"Look darling has something happened at school to upset you" Rachel asked
Holly shook her head in response
"What about at home ? Is anything bothering you, because if there is we can talk about it just us three no one else need know, even if it's something you think you're going to get in trouble for me and dad aren't going to be shocked for angry we just want to help"
"Mum I'm okay, I'm sorry for getting into trouble please can we not talk about it anymore" holly begged
Rachel sighed she really did want to find out what all this was about but at the same time she did t want to upset her daughter anymore "alright love but you know me and dad are always here for you, if you need a quiet word all you ever need to do is ask and we'll go somewhere private to talk"
"Ok" holly mumbled staring at the ground
"Go on then love go upstairs for a bit" Richard said
As soon as holly was out of ear shot Rachel said "oh dear she really does seem Ina bad way I wonder what's happened"
"It's not like her to be like that she's normally so lively"
"I'll have another talk with her later" Rachel said "oh I don't know maybe we just look too far into things, I mean maybe she is okay she just might be having an off day"
"Maybe" Richard said
A few hours later they were all ready for there meal
"Hols come on love" Rachel said
When she got no response she went up after her
"Holly" Rachel called, she opened her daughters bedroom door and got a shock when she saw her asleep on the bed
"Darling wake up" Rachel said shaking her awake
"I don't feel well"
"You're really not right are you sweetie" Rachel sighed
"Mum I don't want to come out I'll just stay here" holly mumbled
"No love come with us, it'll do you good to get out and forget about whatever it is that's bothering you, which by the way I wish I'd tell me about"
"It's nothing" holly sighed getting up and following Rachel out to the car.
"Mum jakes annoying me get him to shut his big gob" Amy said
"Jake stop annoying your sister"
"I'm not even doing anything"
"Yes you bloody well are you stupid dick..." Any began however Rachel quickly cut her off
"Oi that's enough, do not let me hear that sort of language, completely inappropriate Amy and especially in front of a 5 year old"
"But he's annoying me"
"Oh your 12 and 13 you can sort it out amongst yourselves" Rachel sighed.
They drove for a bit without anymore distractions and the kids were distracted on there phones and iPods.
"Hols what's up with you, your being dead quiet" Amy said
"Nothing" holly said quietly
"But you've been quiet all day" Amy persisted
"Leave it love" Rachel said not wanting Amy to pester holly when she was clearly feeling upset.
Soon they parked up and they all got out the car and went into he restaurant to get there table.
They had a really nice night together however holly barely said a word, after a while they could see Sophie was getting tired and ready for bed so they decided to head off.
There was virtually no traffic on the way back so they managed to get home quite quickly but Sophie was still asleep by the time they got back so Richard carried her in.
"Hols I'll just get Sophie tucked in then it'll be bath and bed for you"
"Okay" holly said
Rachel carried Sophie up, but when they were half way up the stairs she woke up, Rachel was quite glad as this meant she wouldn't have to spend ages trying to get her into pyjamas trying not to wake her.
"Can I go and watch tv now" Sophie asked sleepily
"No love it's bed for you" Rachel said smiling to herself
"Okay" Sophie sighed quickly getting into her pyjamas
"Brush your teeth and go to the loo then I'll tuck you in" Rachel said
Reluctantly Sophie did as she was told and fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Rachel smiled and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving her room.
"Holly come upstairs love" Rachel called
A few minutes later holly materialised at the top of the stairs.
"Mum I'm really tired please can I have my bath in the morning" holly asked
"Yeah okay love, come on get your pyjamas on"
Holly then went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
"You do look tired sweetie make sure you go straight to sleep no messing around with your toys like usual"
"I won't"
"Good girl"
Rachel went through to Holly's room with her and got her comfy in bed, she contemplated just saying goodnight and leaving her however she wanted to ask about today again whole she was on her own.
"Holly, I want you to know you mustn't ever feel scared of me or dad for that matter, we're both here for you darling and I'd hate to think you were keeping secrets from us because well secrets between people who love each other aren't good"
"Mum I'm sorry for getting into trouble earlier" holly soda tears starting to form in her eyes
"Darling I don't want you to apologise I want to find out what all this is about"
Rachel moved some of the covers back and slid next to holly in her large double bed. She out her arm around holly "oh holly How many times do I have to tell you not to bottle things up my love"
"I'm fine"
"Hols I work with kids everyday, have done for 15 years so I know when someone isn't fine and there's also very little that can shock me, I promise"
"Mum I want to go to sleep"
"Alright love but you know if you did feel like talking it'll never go beyond these four walls"
"I know"
Rachel sighed but decided to leave it she knew the more she pushed holly the less likely she was to tell her what this was all about.
"Okay" Rachel said softly "come on then give us a kiss goodnight then"
Rachel said goodnight to holly before going downstairs where Richard was sat with the kids watching tv, Rachel walked over and sat next to him and Richard put his arm around his wife.
"Is she okay" Richard asked
"Nope and I can't get anything out of her"
"Is this holly" Amy asked
"Yeah love, she hasn't said anything to you has she"
"No why"
"She just seems in a real state and I just wondered if she'd spoken to you instead of me and dad"
"I'd tell you If she did" Amy said
The 4 of them watched tv for a bit before Amy and jake decided to go up to bed
"What do you think it is that's up with holly" Richard asked
"I don't know maybe she's had a fall out or something"
"Yeah maybe" Richard said
"Well whatever it is she doesn't seem too happy"
"You don't think it's something at home do you" Richard asked sounding worried
"Well we'd know about it wouldn't we" Rachel sighed "anyway she probably needs a good nights sleep should we get off to bed now"
"Sounds like a good idea" Richard said with a glint in his eye
"And before you get any ideas the only thing I'm feeling up to is tucking into another chapter of to kill a mockingbird"
"You and your bloody books" Richard said rolling his eyes
"Your the one who flaming bought me it so don't you be complaining"
"What women chooses books over sex though"
"A sensible one now are you coming to bed or sleeping on the sofa"
"Do you have to be so bloody bossy all the time" Richard joked
"Yep all part of the deal"
The two of them joked around for a little longer before eventually going up to bed.
After a while Richard fell asleep however Rachel was still wide awake, she couldn't stop worrying about holly and wondering why she was acting so strangely, she could hear Amy's tv on at first she didn't mind as it was a Friday after all but after a while she began to get fed up and decided to tell her to turn it off.
"Amy it's 11 it's time you went to sleep and turned the tv off" she paused for a moment and then saw Amy was watching Geordie shore despite her telling her a million times it was inappropriate for an 11 year old "and if that's what I think it is ... Just turn it off" Rachel sighed
"Mum" Amy moaned
"I mean it Amy I'm close to banning that bloody tv the amount of crap you end up watching on there"
Amy rolled her eyes before turning it off
"And don't let me see you roll your eyes at me"
"Yes ma'am" Amy said
"And don't be cheeky" Rachel added but even she couldn't help but smile "sleep now" Rachel warned
"Night mum love you" Amy said as she got comfy
"I love you too" Rachel said before leaving Amy's room, she was about to go back to bed but she heard noises coming from downstairs, she saw that Holly's room was empty so figured it must be her daughter so went to see to her, she crept downstairs and went to see holly.
She went into the kitchen but couldn't see her so then went Into the living room where she saw holly curled up in the sofa, she was about to go in when suddenly she felt daisy at her feet who had obviously followed her through, she picked her up in her arms, knowing the dog was always one of the best comforts she could bring holly when she was upset.
Rachel knocked on the door of the living room to let holly know she was there "mind if we come in" she asked gently
Holly turned round and saw her mum and dog.
Rachel walked in and sat down next to Holly.
"Take daisy off me love and give her a cuddle she's going mad in my arms your the only one she let's cuddle her"
Rachel put daisy on Holly's knee and then put her arm around holly.
"You're not a happy bunny today are you" Rachel said "what you doing down here"
"I couldn't sleep" holly said
"It's horrible when that happens, I couldn't sleep either"
"I didn't mean to stay up really late"
"I know love it's okay, you should have just come in with me and dad for a bit"
"But I didn't want to wake you" holly explained resting against her mums chest and finally beginning to feel a bit more relaxed
"We wouldn't have minded love" Rachel said "do you want something to drink, I can make us got chocolate if you like with those biscuits you like" Rachel offered knowing it was Holly's favourite for a treat
"Yes please"
"Okay I'll be 2 minutes"
"Why are you being so nice to me" holly asked
"Make the most of it I'll be reverting back to my usual horrible self tomorrow" Rachel joked causing holly to laugh despite the fact she was upset.
Rachel was gone a few minutes but came back with 2 cups of hot chocolate and some biscuits.
Holly had a few sips and this immediately made her feel more relaxed, she snuggled up to her mum begin to feel a bit tired.
"Mum when you were my age what were you like?" Holly asked causing Rachel to smile
"What was I like ... A pain in the butt probably" Rachel said laughing
"Really"
"Probably but you see my mum and dad we didn't always get along all that well and we had quite a lot of family problems going on, so for a while I was really quiet and then I went a bit bad when I was in secondary school"
"What do you mean bad? What did you do?" Holly asked curiously
"Oh nothing I'd want you knowing about love just a whole load of daft things you know"
"Have I gone bad" holly asked deadly serious
Rachel couldn't help but laugh "no love, I wouldn't exactly say up you've begun the descent into thug life"
"Oh"
"Anyway are you going to tell me why you were so upset"
" do I have too mum"
"No but I'd like you too darling"
"It's just everything" holly said tears beginning to form in her eyes again
"Everything, wow that's going to take some sorting then isn't it but anyway come on let's start from the beginning shall we" Rachel said however then she realised holly was crying "hey" she said gently "don't cry sweetheart we'll be able to fix it I promise we will, come on dry your tears"
Rachel got holly some tissues and put the little girl on her knee "there it's just like when you were really little do you remember? If ever you were upset you'd always come and sit on my knee and have a big cuddle and a cry"
Holly continued to cry into Rachel chest for a bit as her mum rubbed her back.
After a bit the crying stopped but holly stayed cuddling into her mum "right well now you've had a good cry you want to tell me about it"
"Why do you always call it a good cry mum, crying isn't good it means your upset" holly said
"Well I don't know I think if people can hold back everything and it's good to just let it all put and that's why cryings good sometimes"
"Oh right"
"Anyway come on love"
"I've just been worrying about stuff"
"What sort of stuff darling"
"Everything, I hate school, I hate the teachers and the people there, I can't ever get to sleep anymore because of all the stuff that's going on so then I feel tired the next day , ... And I don't want dad to die" holly said
"For an 8 year old you have a hell of a lot of problems going on ... Which I wish you could have chatted to me about sooner, right let's tackle this one step at a time what is it about school that's upsetting you so much"
"I don't know, it's just Chloe and everyone don't seem to like me very much at the moment"
"Oh love you've had arguments with them before haven't you hmm and normally you all work it out in the end, I do understand though it's difficult you girls are all so close aren't you"
"I guess"
"So just give it some time and you'll be absolutely fine I promise"
"Really"
"Hey when do I ever make promises that aren't real"
"Never" holly admitted
"Right, so what's all this about dad" Rachel asked her voice sounding a little concerned because although she was sure that holly had just got the wrong end of the stick she was a bit worried about where she'd have picked this up from.
"I heard him the other week he was on the phone to Uncle Tom and he was crying and he was taking about cancer and that means your going to die" holly sobbed
"What" Rachel said shocked and beginning to feel really rather worried
"It's true mum I'm not lying" holly cried
"No darling you've got it all wrong" Rachel said trying to stay calm for Holly's sake
"I haven't it's true"
"Right I think we need to get dad down here so he can have a chat with you"
"No mum don't he'll be angry at me for listening in on him"
"He won't I promise just give me 2 secs love"
Rachel left and then practically ran upstairs desperate to get some answers.
"Richard wake up" Rachel said shaking her husband
"Bloody hell Rach it's 12"
"Get up a minute and come downstairs" Rachel ordered
Reluctantly Richard pulled himself out of bed and went back downstairs.
"This better be good" he muttered
Rachel quickly ran back downstairs with Richard and into the living room.
"Hols what's up" Richard said when he saw his daughter upset
When holly didn't answer Rachel stepped in " holly tell your dad what you told me please"
"Daddy I don't want you to die"
"What are you on about"
"I heard you on the phone the other day" holly cried
Richards face turned pale and he sat down in a chair
"Richard" Rachel said "tell holly...tell her it's not true, that she's got it wrong" Rachel urged her voice showing her panic
"Richard" Rachel shouted when her husband failed to say anything tears starting to form in her own eyes "please" she begged
"Holly go to bed" Richard said "me and your mum need to talk"
"Is it true dad" holly whispered
"Darling we'll talk later do as your dad says, go to bed if you can't sleep I'll be up soon okay"
"You only want me out the way but it's not fair I want to know what's happening too" holly demanded
"Holly ..." Rachel began
"No it's okay leave her, look Rachel I don't know anything for sure yet it's just I have to have some tests I've been having these headaches and nose bleeds, just normal at first but they've gotten so bad the doctor her reckons ... He reckons it might be ..." Richard said but he couldn't finish his sentence
Rachel know what to say or do she just stood there frozen tears running down her face
Holly stood next to her crying her eyes out .
"Holly get to bed" Richard ordered, holly ran upstairs and went into her bedroom
"Richard why didn't you tell me" Rachel cried
"I didn't want to scare you"
"So what were you going to do ...wait until you were on deaths door hoping I'd never pick up on it" Rachel shouted
"I don't know anything for definite sweetheart" Richard said pulling his wife in for a hug
"Oh Richard" Rachel said "I love you so much" she cried
"We'll get through Rach whatever it is we can handle it because the two of us we're strong"
"Course we are, I'm sorry you couldn't tell me earlier but we can face this, together we can"
"Poor holly"
"I know, I know she'll be so worried, but I don't want the other kids knowing yet not until we know for definite yeah" Rachel said tears still running down her cheek
"Yeah" Richard said hugging his wife tightly
"We're going to deal with this I promise" Rachel said "but for now let's get some sleep we both need it"
The two of them walked upstairs holding each other's hands supportively, Richard went straight to bed but Rachel went to check on holly first but she was asleep so Rachel pulled the covers over her and let her sleep intending to talk to her first thing tomorrow.
Rachel tried her best to go to sleep but all she could do was toss and turn again, suddenly she heard her bedroom door creak open she saw it was holly looking extremely upset.
"Come here sweetie" Rachel said
Holly shuffled over to her mum so she was standing next to her
"Did you just wake up?" Rachel asked
"Mum I wet the bed" holly admitted sounding upset
"Oh love, never mind it doesn't matter"
Rachel quickly got up and sorted holly out.
"Should we have another cuddle and chat" Rachel suggested to which holly nodded her head
"Is he going to die" holly asked when the two of them were sat down on Holly's bed
"No sweetie he's not but he is poorly so he's got to have a few tests but I'm sure he'll be okay"
"Do you promise"
"I can't promise darling because I never make promises I can't keep but we've got to all stay positive yeah even though that's really hard sometimes"
"I'm sorry for upsetting everyone" holly mumbled
"Oh darling it wasn't your doing promise. Anyway I think it's a good idea if we all get some sleep you're going to be shattered tomorrow"
"I love you mum, thanks for always being nice to me even if I'm bad" holly said causing Rachel to smile
"I love you too darling"
Rachel put holly on her hip and lifted her through to her bed knowing holly hated being on her own if she was upset she put her arms around her and quickly went to sleep
Didn't finish up exactly as planned but hope it was okay please review xxxxxxxx