This is the last part I made for Hell-O to the NO. Not that great a name, ugh? It's just to link the chapters together. I'm finally introducing a mini story-arc I've been working on. Credit for first giving me the idea goes to hannah-jennifer. If you're still reading this, I don't know if you remember, or if you will recognize it, but I still want to thank you. Rachel's part is very small, but I had to end it there.

Thanks for the support and the reviews!

(Finn)

I picked that page up, and saw it was folded in half. I opened it, and recognized Rachel's handwriting very quickly. I looked away, I didn't want to read something I wasn't supposed to. It was how I was raised. To be polite and respectful. Not really something I had been with her lately. So, I was going to start right now. I just had to give it back to her, and all would be okay.

That night, I stayed up almost all night. I so wanted to call her, but I knew I couldn't do it. I was not her friend anymore. She could not help me. so, I tried to help myself. I thought about everything going on in my life right now, him, her, the kid. I thought about what was important to me, and what was not. I thought about Rachel a lot.

I realized it wasn't Quinn I needed to get over. Gosh, when I think about how we started going out… I'm surprised it went on so long. Well, not that surprised. Reputation and a lot of things came into the picture. And most still do. But, well, we were never truly attached. It had stated as some sort of game, I think. Maybe it's the wrong term, but she had come after me. I didn't go after her. Or after anyone else.

It's not her. It's Drizzle I have to get over. That is going to be harder than I thought. It was easy, when we were on Holiday break, to think about something, anything else. Well, now, I'll have to go on every day and see the kid that was supposed to be mine. Mine. How do you get over something like losing a child? Even if she wasn't really mine, for two months she was. Gosh, it's so screwed up! I'm so fucking screwed up! I'm not making a fucking sense. Quinn was right. I am an idiot. I care about a child that isn't mine. Even if she was…

But the thing is, it doesn't really matter. The whole thing was humiliating. I had been screwed over. Other than that, my feelings for Quinn were gone. I hated her lies, and his too, and that was it. I was not heartbroken because she had cheated. I was heartbroken because I was betrayed, and humiliated. Plus, it's not like I want to be friends with them anytime soon, so if one day I can forgive her, maybe one day, I will. He'll never be my friend again, no matter what. Only Drizzle was innocent in all this. And she's not Drizzle anymore. I can't call that kid Drizzle. She's not mine. I finally realized that she is not mine. I know she's there, because we can all see Quinn's baby bump, but she's not mine. It still hurts a bit, but it feels like Quinn. One day, I'll be totally okay with it. Realizing that grief made it kind of go away. Until then, it's okay. I don't really care anymore.

All I care about is Rachel. More than I thought I would. I reacted hard when she told me she met someone else, and a friend has to be supportive. I know I'm not her friend anymore, but that's not the point. Point is, I know I feel more than friendship. I do. It's been there, I don't really know what, but it's been there for a long time. Before holiday break. I think before Thanksgiving. I think when we last sang, the two of us, the No Air duet in the auditorium. The story I never finished, because I didn't want to. I was scared of what I felt with her. I still am, because I don't know what it is. But I know the only important thing is her. I want to show her that I can be a good boyfriend. So, maybe, she will break up with Jesse and be with me for good. She is the one I want to kiss, and not just because she likes me. but also because I like her, too. So, I'm gonna show her, tomorrow. If she wants to have a crazy cat calendar, then it's okay. if she wants to talk too much, then it's okay. If she wants to be high min… ma… I don't remember that damn word, then that's okay. I want to be with her. Because I like her.

…

I didn't think about anything else all day. I even had her page, ready for me to give it to her. I never read it. Part of the new respect I wanted to show her. All I could think about was asking her again, this time do a better job, and get her back. Because I wanted her back. I didn't want anyone else. Just her. And everything would be okay again.

…

I had to wait until the afternoon to find her alone.

Relief came over me when she told me she broke up with him. I'm not the one who told everyone about her and Jesse, but I will be the one telling everyone that it's over. I had an occasion, maybe the only one, before she met someone else. She was so quick I had no time to think about anything. I told her I only wanted to date her for real, be a real couple, with dates in that crazy cats calendar. Bur then, she said she could not be a real couple with me. That the team couldn't handle more drama. Taking one for the team. Like that never happened to me. I wanted to yell 'hell with the team', but that was not possible. She was single because of it, and it was not just me. It was her, too. If she didn't want to be with me, I could never force her to do it. I won't give up. She knows I won't give up.

I didn't get mad at her, I was more pissed at me. I just said I'd see her at rehearsal, and I did. It was all about learning the song anyway, so okay be me.

…

I went home really sad. I tried my best to hide it. The shock of her answer slowly got away. Then, holding back my tears became impossible.

I went home in a fury. I wanted to kick things, but mostly myself, because karma had come back and bitten me in the ass big time. I wanted to tear up her page, and never give it to her. I wanted…

Looking at it, I felt calm almost instantly. That piece of pink paper, which belonged to her, calmed me. It never happened before. Never.

I opened the page, so curious it got all the respect I had flying out the window. I needed to read what was on, see why that thing had an effect on me.

So, I sat down, picked it up from my desk, and opened it. My eyes detected my name. She had written my name. With her little hands. The date in the right up corner dated it back to early November. And then, it slipped from my hands.

'Love'. Love was written. She had written back in November that she loved me. Literally. Suddenly, it hit me. Like a bolt of lightning. Everything became clear. Everything that had been so mixed up before. All the feelings that had been shaken to the core just before Sectionals. I had been mixing it all. Love, hate, grief, anger. Rachel had been on the wrong end of the stick. I had gotten mad at her. I had broken up because her attempts to win me back seemed always too much. And it was. I realize that now. She never had to win me back. She had me all along. I never should have ended it. I made a mistake, dad. A big one. A very big one. I'm in love, dad. I'm in love with her. Have been... probably for a long time. I'm in love with Rachel Berry.

Everything was back. The gut feeling, the good-sick I had felt once or twice before. Last time, I was so nervous I had puked. I thought it was because of the flip-flops my stomach was doing, but I was never more wrong. Now, feeling it a bit again reading her note again and again, it only felt great. Like the kind of sick I'd love to feel every day

When we last kissed, after our duet, I was afraid. I was feeling so much more for Rachel than for the girlfriend I was supposed to be in love with. I was never in love with Quinn. Never. I never told Rachel what her song had done to me really, but one day, I hope I can. She needs to know it changed my life. But it's not something I can just drop one day. It's not fair, not to me, not to her. I'll have to wait for that, wait for her to change her mind, and choose me. Like I chose her a long time ago.

I did something I never have before, dad. I went back, and looked in the memoirs for signs that can tell me when I started to like her. I had to go back several months! Bowling alley far. Oh. My. God. I never realized I liked, and loved her, for so long…

…

I fell in love with my best friend. I never noticed. It was so easy. She moved on, but I don't want to. I'm not going to even try. I know this is going to be hard, but it was hard for her as well. I fell in love with my best friend, and I had my head so far up my ass I only understood it when it was too late. Being in love is a wonderful feeling, and I don't want to forget, even if it's very difficult. I don't know what can be better than being in love with her, dad. Wish me luck, and watch over me, wherever you are. Because I am in love with Rachel Berry and I am not giving up on her. Never. You just don't give up on the people you love.

…

If I could go back to finding that page, be an ass one more time, and read it. I would have said those three little words that could make me or break me forever. The same little words I had seen, written with her hand, her pencil, on her page. She would be with me, now. Because I would have said it back. No one could stop loving in one day. I didn't love Quinn, and it still loads of time. Now, I have to respect her, and what she wants. Gosh, dad, if I could go back in time, I would not miss her so damn much…

…

I decided to return the favor, even after she had turned me down. I was sure she didn't know she lost her page to begin with, but I just had to let her know there was someone that felt that strongly for her. I had planned to just write it and leave it for her to see, but her rejection changed my plans. I didn't want her to recognize my handwriting as fast I as I had hers. I didn't want to leave it for her to see in plain sight. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I typed a few lines on my computer, printed it, and cut the page to make it fit a pocket book. I thought about where I could leave it, and decided for a class book, one of the ones I didn't have with her. Since we had only Spanish, it wasn't that hard. I didn't want to have to see her reaction at first discovering my note, even less if she thought her actual boyfriend had written it to her. This would be difficult, but I knew nothing I would do for her would be easy. Especially not now. So, the next day, I went to school early, and, pretexting to look for something for glee, I opened her locker, hoping she had not changed the code yet. I placed the note far inside her biggest book. I didn't touch anything else, and closed it just in time to go to mine before I saw her coming in. All I have to do is wait. And hope.

…

It killed me to see that she avoided me now. It killed me to see that in saying no one time too many, she had given up on me. I don't really blame her, with all she's been through because of me. But I never gave up on her. I always thought she would be there for me, be my friend and everything. I never thought I could be destroying the best friendship I ever had. I loved her when she was too honest with me, it almost made me mad. I loved her when she told me I wasn't stupid, and that I just had a good heart. I was stupid. And she was honest. I lost the only one who never expected me to be anything more than her friend. Never the quarterback, never the jock, never anyone. Just her friend. I lost her.

It's way more painful than all the humiliation I felt with Quinn and the whole mess with all that. It's something I'll always regret. It's hard. I don't know what to do. Can you help me, dad? I'm feeling really, really low.

When we danced together in our costumes, for the Beatles song we had all picked out, it was like torture. She was avoiding me, I could tell. She didn't want to touch me more than necessary. She didn't want to be near me. She didn't want to have anything to do with me. But I wanted her to touch me, to feel by heart beating faster when she's near, and my palms getting sweaty when I take her hand. I had to force myself to calm down, and it's the first time I ever had to use the mailman for something other than usual… I needed him to calm me down, and not react to her at all. She had moved on, I had no right to do any other thing. I wanted to yell. I wanted to cry. I was half dumb on her beauty, half mad because I had messed it up all by myself. If I didn't feel the need, a week ago, to just be myself without anyone, she would still be with me. I could say to her everything I want, I could circle every little date in her crazy calendar, i could be kissing her every time I want to. But instead, I have to suck it up, hope that she will get back to me. I know she loved me, for real. Now, it's my turn, and it's never been so painful and so wonderful at the same time. I wish there was hope for me, but after that sort of epiphany a few days ago, I don't think I can stop loving her. I really don't. If only seeing her leave the auditorium at the end of the song had not brought tears into my eyes… I had to hold them back, and look more embarrassed, when I just wanted to cry.

I can never use her words to remind her of what she wrote. This isn't fair, to either of us. And I want her happy, even if it kills me. She writes like she's in pain but she loves me anyway. All I can do is to return the favor. It has to come from her, no pressure. One change, though. I could/will let her know someone here is in love with her. So she'll never be alone anymore. This is love. And I'm fully prepared to endure it all... bliss and pain. Until, I hope, we can share kisses of requited love. I'll be patient. She never broke my heart first. I hope, with all I have, that she'll never do it.

(Rachel)

Someone told the entire glee club who my new boyfriend was. No one knows, except for Finn. I can't believe he'd do that. Be like this with me, because I finally said no. or maybe his half-done plea for me was just another way to play with my heart and my emotions, before he could humiliate me once again if I had said yes. I can't believe he's do that. I guess our friendship is really over.

He was not the problem with the glee club. I thought they would be supportive, after all I've been through with Finn, and after I explained that Jesse and me are for real, and not dangerous. But that was to no avail. They are all threatening to quit, or to replace me. I can't be replaced. I'm the captain elected, the star of the club, we won Sectionals because of me. If they want to be sunk, okay, but I will not succumb to pressure. This isn't who I am. No one is going to dictate my way of life. No one.

What was really astonishing is that Ms. Sylvester had the opposite opinion on the matter. She convinced me to stay with Jesse, because I have no idea how many chances at love I will ever get. So, I will.

I will make sure it's me he wants, I will make sure I know the type of relationship we have. Then, I will make sure I keep it hidden, and win my club back. Then, I will make sure they understand, before telling them we reconciled. But, first thing first.

…

When Finn asked me again, he said I don't give up that easily.

I almost let it out in my head. I don't want you to. But I refused to let it emerge, and ruin everything. He didn't want me, now I don't want him. I think we were never meant to be. The timing was always off. I think it's better this way. I do.

…

Then I remembered.

Jesse laughing because he said I was more a drama queen than him. Two drama queens, it makes for a pretty interesting mash-up.

He respected what I wanted, when I said that no one could know. As long as he's in Vocal Adrenaline, I have to keep this relationship a secret. Very Romeo and Juliet, with Vocal Adrenaline as the Montague and New Directions as the Capulet. But it's okay. No one says love has to be easy. If this is important to me, then I will do everything I have to in order to protect myself and Jesse.

He was honest about his feelings, saying he was already nuts about me. I feel the same way about him. He was my light in this endless tunnel. He is my light. Jesse St. James, the one from Vocal Adrenaline, loves my talent and my voice. Jesse, the simple guy, loves me for who I am. High maintenance, drama queen. Everything that I am. He said he would never hurt me, and I believe him. You don't hurt someone you love. Love doesn't work that way.

Then, he took me in his arms, and I felt safe there. Safe from the outside world, safe from all the troubles at school, just safe. Best for last, in the Carmel high school auditorium, we had our first kiss. Slow, and sweet and passionate. He was with me, and only me.

I have a boyfriend, now, Alyssa. A real one, who respects me, and loves me for who I am. His name is Jesse St. James. He's the star of Vocal Adrenaline, and the only boy who can really understand me. I wish you could have met him. He is everything to me.