A/N: Chapter the Twenty-first, in which there are copious RvB references, a vote and a story.
Dear Marauders... EXCEPT JAMES!
Something needs to be done. There is nowhere in the Gryffindor common room- nay, the SCHOOL, that is completely safe. Since James is your friend, it is your job to tell him that we are here to learn, not watch him and Lily snog. For the love of God, the First Years! THE FIRST YEARS! If saying so doesn't work, WHAT CAN BE DONE?
- Yours, Horrified Beyond Belief
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Moony, did you write this one?
-S
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No. This is a genuine cry from the public.
-M
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This is such an outrage; I have absolutely no idea what this person is talking about. You people are bribing people to gang up on me, aren't you?
- J
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James, didn't you read whom this question was addressed to? "Dear Marauders... EXCEPT JAMES" You don't actually get a say in the matter.
-M
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Yeah, and I've eaten all Moony's bribing chocolate so we don't have anything to bribe with anyway!
-S
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I think I deserve an opportunity to defend myself, or is this an unjust country?
- J
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We could bribe them with you're firewhiskey?
- P
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NO WE COULDN'T.
-S
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That's right Sirius; you're finally making some sense. We shouldn't distribute alcohol to underage wizards.
-M
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Er… Yeah... that's what I meant.
-S
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Spoil sports.
- P
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And what about me? Am I to go on being picked on? Because I will not stand for such a thing! I am a Potter after all. I deserve to strut around the school and snog my girlfriend whenever and wherever I want. No one would dare oppose me
- J
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Actually Jamsie, I feel a change on the winds. Ever since you went stable, all your female admirers needed someone new to look upon in awe. There's been a recent pro-Sirius movement in this school if you ask me. Viva la revolution!
-S
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Sirius, the girls have always liked you, it's just now you have even more. It's hardly much of a change. And certainly not a revolution.
- J
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You keep telling yourself that. And before you know it, BAM! You have a civil war on your hands.
-S
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I think you're over dramatising things a bit Sirius.
-M
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I think he's been reading too much history. It could be dangerous. I think we should confiscate his books before he becomes lethal.
- P
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How dare you accuse me of such folly, you evil rebel! To the guillotine!!
- S
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Sirius, the guillotine hasn't been in use for over a hundred years.
– J
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Shall we call you Marie Antoinette from now on Sirius?
-M
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I think that's a great idea.
- J
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I don't.
- Marie.
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Hey! It's SIRIUS!
- MARIE
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What have you done to the parchment Moony?
- Marie
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Nothing. It just agrees with us is all.
-M
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Hehehe, I like it.
- Dorothy
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What the…why - Remus, what did you do? My name is James!
– Dorothy
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Are you sure about that? Maybe you should ask Toto.
-M
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Ha ha! Good one Moony!
-Toto
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No!
- Toto
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Ha! Pete's a little rat-dog!
- Marie
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I am not! Dogs are smelly and slobbery
- Toto
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Dogs are the most intelligent, cleanest, bestest, smartest animals in the world Pete, and you should be honoured to be named after one.
– Marie
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Great, so I'm Dorothy, Pete's Toto and Sirius is Marie, what does that make you, Remus?
- Dorothy
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Who me?
-God
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What? God? How dare you call yourself a deity. If I was religious, I would be outraged!
- Dorothy
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I did no such thing. The parchment must be acting up.
- Lord Remus Almighty, bow before his greatness!
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Yeah, so it conveniently makes you a deity and suggests we worship you.
- Dumbass
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Ha! James is a dumbass!
- Airhead
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Stop making it call us names!
- Dimwitted Deer
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I'm not making it do anything; some things about magic are just unpredictable.
- All Hail, King Remus, Ruler of Everything!
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He! You people are being insulted by paper.
- Rich Brat
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What!? I am NOT a brat. Stupid paper. What does it know?
- boywhothinkseveryoneloveshimandisapig-headedarse
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Just make it stop!
- Has Horns
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How would I make it stop? I'm not doing anything.
- Wet Blanket
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Wha...
- Wet blanket
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Ha! I can do it to!
-Sex God
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Good one Sirius, now, make it like me!
- Talented Lover
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Yes!
- Talented Lover
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What about me?
- Dog hating rat-face
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Sirius this is immature!
- Know-it-all-stick-in-the-mud
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Quite the contrary actually, I think this is brilliant. We could sell paper like this and make a ton.
- Horny Beast
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But Moony, I'm not doing anything. Magic is unpredictable right?
- Too Sexy For His Shirt
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Please give me a good name! Please!
- Whiny Child
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You have to earn it, whiny child.
- Better Than You
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James, that's not a bad idea actually.
- Smells Like Mothballs
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How? Tell me how! I'll do anything!
- Pain In The Rear
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Why thank you. My parents always said I had a good head for business. But we're still not giving you a good name.
- Most Intelligent Business Man
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Anything you say? Well, I think we could come to some kind of arrangement.
- Ingenious Master of Ideas
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Anything? Oh bother, what am I getting myself into?
- Foolish Baby
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What are you going to make him do?
- Graceful Hooved Mammal
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Petey, read this, and we'll give you a good name
- Almighty Master of all he sees
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What?! I am not reading this out!
- Toast Loving Infant
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Do it or we'll call you degrading names for the rest of your life
- Handsome Lad Who Is Dating A Flowery Girl
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Fine, but you had better give me a good name for this.
- Is Caving In
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Just read it.
- Hot Stud
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I would just like to say… that I suck… and that I'm girl… and I like ribbons in my hair… and I want to kiss all the boys. Good enough for you?
- Sucked In
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Ha ha! Brilliant
- Oh Wonderful Master of Quidditch
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I can't believe that worked! Sometimes I amaze myself
- Prince of Love
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James, Sirius, this is completely juvenile!
- Someone You Should Listen To Because He Is Right
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Oh no! He enchanted the parchment again!
– Dog-breath
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What are you doing to the parchment? Put your wand down!
- Arrogant Horn Head
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What about me? Give me a good name!
- Poor Foolish Child Who Listened To The Dimwitted Ones
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This is an outrage! First you try and turn people against me, and now you're calling us names. Why? What did I ever do to you?
- Ass-faced Deer Spawn
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Peter, you should stand up to those Twits.
- The Most Almighty Source of All Knowledge
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Ah Moony, poor naive Moony. You forget, two can play at that game.
- Too Cool For School
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"Too cool for school"? Sirius, that's too lame for words.
-The King Of Lame
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Says the King of Lame
- Awesome Sidekick
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What? You made me a sidekick! How dare you!
- Average Sidekick
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You go down a sidekick rating every time you complain.
- Canine Master Of Excellence
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Damn you Sirius!
- Bad Sidekick
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Sirius, I think there was a question to be answered. So let's just stop this childish game and get back to answering it.
- VERY Wet Blanket. SOAKING Blanket. Abso-bloody-luetly SATURATED Blanket.
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Yes, I agree. You're getting too big headed. You need to be deflated.
- Simply Terrible Sidekick
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Yes, I agree. Stop or give me a good name.
- Annoying Rat Boy
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Thank you James, and Peter! I'm glad someone agrees with me.
- Chocolate Obsessed Git
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Fine fine, I guess three against two is majority. I'll stop soon
- Prince of Bow Chika Bow Wow
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Now.
- Annoying Goody Two Shoes
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I think it would be ironic if we were made of ice… I mean, stop now! I can't keep up with all these names.
- Blue Pudgy One
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Fine. Fine! Go ahead and ruin all my fun!
-Sirius (see I've stopped! ... gits.)
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That's better.
- M
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Oh really.
- cabMoose
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Oh, sorry Jamsie
- S
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It had better be over. Now, is the question done yet?
- J
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I think it is. Yay!
- P
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No, we haven't told you how much of a prat you are yet for scarring the First Years.
-M
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I like my name better anyway.
- P
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So, yeah. You are a prat for scarring the First Years. Now we're done, I think.
-S
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Well, personally, I think this question has gone for far too long, so let's make it quick. I will do as I please, where I please, when I please and in front of who I please… as long as Lily doesn't mind. End of story.
- J
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Well... I suggest a compromise. You can do whatever you want, wherever you want, in front of whoever you want, as long as you blindfold all the First Years. And all the Slytherins, because they're a house of perverted voyeurs and you know it.
-S
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Agreed.
- J
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Can you blindfold me too?
- P
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Sure, whatever you want.
- J
Dear anyone,
What's the best way to ask someone out that doesn't know you like them without making a fool of yourself 'cause your not that popular?
-HBP wants a girl
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Well, if you want ways to ask someone out without making a fool of yourself don't ask James for advice.
-S
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I resent that. Besides, it doesn't matter any more. Lily does love me so there.
- J
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Anyway, it's not as if you can talk Sirius.
-M
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Excuse me Remus I have never been rejected, thank-you-very-much.
- S
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Maybe you should get a friend to ask that person if they would go out with you. James used to make me do that, back in first year. Before he got all confident.
- P
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Yeah, James was a bit wimpy in first year. Good thing he had me to whip him into shape.
-S
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What about Stephanie, Sirius?
- J
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She was American. She couldn't understand a word I said. Too much of a language barrier.
- S
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Sure it was. We so believe you, Padfoot.
- J
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I'm familiar with sarcasm you dimwit.
- S
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Oh, I'm the dimwit, am I? Well at least I don't look under my bed every night to look for monsters.
- J
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James has a point Sirius. Though, I don't really blame you considering the nature of what's under your bed.
-M
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Yeah, that place is scary...
-P
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What? How dare you all! I do not look for monsters under my bed every night. I look for Slytherins
- S
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Those bastards!
- J
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I know.
- S
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Why would there be Slytherins under your bed? You're being incredibly paranoid.
-M
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Oh, I dunno Moony. You never know with Slytherins, those slimy buggers!
-S
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Yeah. One time, I overheard a pair of them talking about planting a huge pile of dung bombs in the Gryffindor common room and setting them off just before lights out. That amount of stink would've stunk out the entire wing for months. It's a good thing that they were talking about this outside the broom closet that Lily and I were in at the time.
- J
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Why am I not surprised?
- M
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It's a good thing that we managed to body-bind them and seal them in the afore mentioned closet. I think they're still in there…
- J
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Yeah, it's a good thing you did that James, because then there was no one to stop us when we planted a huge pile of dung bombs in the Slytherin common room and set them off just before lights out. That amount of stink was enough to evacuate the entire dungeons! It was quite impressive.
-S
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I'm sure.
-M
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Hey, weren't we supposed to be answering a question?
–P
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I think so, but as usual, I blame Moony for getting us lost in all the ramblings of conversation. It's all your fault Moony. How could you lead us astray?
- J
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Actually James, that was you. And probably Sirius too. And Pete didn't help either.
-M
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Sure, blame it on anyone but yourself.
-S
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As usual. So, what was that question?
- J
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Something about asking someone out without looking like James when he was asking Lily out.
-P
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Oh right. That one. Well, aside from the above-mentioned tips (I'm sure we said something helpful up there… maybe), you could always surprise your crush with something they like. That could be a good icebreaker.
- J
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Yeah, like flowers. James tried that back in Third Year. Lily shoved them down his trousers. He was called Pollen Pants for a week.
- P
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Yeah, thanks for reminding me, Pete.
- J
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I hate it when you stare at me like that. It's scary.
- P
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That was hilarious! You could always write a song for them! Remember Ode To Lily James? That was gold that was.
-S
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Yes, gold. That worked really well. You guys are terrible at dating advice. Absolutely terrible. I'm surprised you get so many.
- J
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I don't.
- P
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I meant Sirius.
- J
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Oh.
- P
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That's because I'm sexy. I don't have to rely on the uncertain dating techniques that stringy Quidditch players like yourself do.
- S
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Sirius, can we maybe give out some actual helpful advice to our questioners? Just once?
-M
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Moony, I'm sure they'd rather hear about how sexy I am.
-S
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Stringy? I'm the captain of the Gryffindor team!
- J
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And a stringy one at that.
-S
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I agree. All this hate is too much bad feng shui.
- P
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I am so not stringy! I didn't want to mention this now on the Advice Thingy, but you leave me no choice. You're getting pudgy!
- J
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-S
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Oh no.
-P
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WHAT!!
-S
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Sirius, calm down. James didn't try to hex you when you said he was stringy.
-M
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You heard me. You've been eating too much pudding and Remus' chocolate. You're getting pudgy. Look, you have a muffin top.
- J
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Aw, there there Sirius, don't cry.
-M
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I think he's more likely to explode than cry. Here, eat more chocolate. It'll make you feel better.
- P
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SHUT UP MOONY I AM NOT CRYING. James, you've overstepped the line with this one. I'm sure all our readers will agree. I AM NOT PUDGY. At all.
-S
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Oh really? Then why did Jenna cancel you're "date" tonight? She doesn't even have a cat. You're getting fat and everyone it noticing it.
- J
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Right that's it. You. Me. Outside. Now. I'm gonna punch your lights out!
-S
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Hey, there's no need to get violent—
-M
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There's every need to get violent. Some people just need to have sense knocked into them.
-S
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Ah! I'm so scared! I'm being threatened by a marshmallow man!
- J
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Yeah, you should be. ... Wait... MARSHMALLOW MAN????
- S
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Hehe, this is hilarious. The angrier he gets, the more like a glazed cherry he looks.
- J
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Er... maybe we should all take a few deep breaths and discuss this like civilised gentlemen.
-M
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OR MAYBE WE SHOULD TOSS JAMES OUT THE WINDOW.
-S
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Um. No. No tossing people out the window. James stop winding Sirius up. Sirius, use your inside voice.
-M
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Now he looks like a blueberry sundae.
- J
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I DON'T HAVE AN INSIDE VOICE!
-S
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This is more fun than turning Pete's socks into slugs.
- J
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So that's why my feet are slimy…
- P
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I WILL KILL YOU!
- S
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Now now Sirius. If you try to kill James, I'm sure you'll regret it.
-M
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What's new? You make that threat almost every week. We both know you're too chubby to come over here and actually do it.
- J
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James, I think maybe this isn't a great time to—
-M
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AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
-S
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Sirius! Calm down! Put that chair down! Yes… that's right... no. No wait! Don't try to throw Peter at James!
-M
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HEEELLLP MEEEEEE!!!
-P
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Hehehe I think it's kind of funny that I'm not scared of you.
- J
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Right this has gone on long enough!
-M
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Boom!
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Hey... what did you do Moony!
-S
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Gees Moony, careful. You almost got me.
- J
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Ha! Sirius is stuck to the roof!
-P
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And what did you think this would achieve?
-S
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Er... peace and harmony?
-M
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Ha from down here you can see his "Love Handles" even clearer.
- J
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Hey, you stay away from my love handles! MOONY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE.
-S
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Don't worry Sirius; acceptance is the first step.
- J
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James, I'm going to stick you up there too if you don't stop this nonsense right now.
-M
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But you don't understand. I only want to help him! And make that little vein pop, but mostly help him.
- J
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Sure. Sure you do. I believe you. We all believe you James.
-M
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Throw him out the window Remus! Please? For me?
-S
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Sirius, your puppy-dog eyes aren't as effective from this angle so don't even try it.
-M
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No, seriously, I do want to help. When my Uncle Arthur was trying to loose weight he went on this awesome diet. You should try it. And we can do extra Quidditch practices. Not to loose weight, but because you really need practice.
- J
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Grr! Why you!... I can't get you from up here! LET ME DOWN!
-S
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I'm shocked and appalled. I'm sincerely trying to help, yet you continue with the death threats. For shame.
- J
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This is, this is getting nowhere. I have an idea. And don't worry I'm sure it's something you'll like. We'll have a vote between the readers, the if they think James is right, they have too write their name down on the parchment we'll put up on the notice board in the common room. But if they think Sirius is right, they'll write their name on a separate piece of parchment in the same place. The one with the most names wins and the looser has to do... Something. I'll leave that up to your imaginations.
-M
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Oh good idea. I know all the girls will want him to tone up a bit. Siriusly Sirius, you are way too sensitive about this.
- J
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Fine! You're on James! The looser has to... do whatever the winner says for a day! I hope you're ready for enslavement.
- S
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Ha! I hope you're ready for the work-out of your life and a week of nothing but cabbage.
- J
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Okay. That's settled then! Lets move on to the next question and let the readers sort this one out.
-M
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You're on!
- J
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Right back at you!
- S
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So, who will win? Only you can decide. Vote away!
- P
Dear Marauders,
Why did you start this advice thingy? Only Moony, with the occasional Prongs gives out good advice. Were you that bored, or had you used up all the good pranks already?
- The all knowing, all-powerful, goddess of the universe.
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What about me? I give good advice!
-S
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Well, supposed "All knowing goddess", it all started on a sunny winter day. Peter was chasing the invisible butterflies, Remus was reading (as usual) and Sirius was off on a "date" with Hilary from Ravenclaw. I had just been rejected, yet again, by Lily and was looking for something to improve my mood.
-J
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Oh great, he's in story mode.
- P
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So, I was walking past the library, and I overheard a few first years saying how hard everything was and how they really needed someone to help them out. So, being the generous person I am, I swung by and spent the next hour teaching them all about Transfiguration. They were doing potions at the time, but none-the-less, they thanked me for it, and it gave me such a good feeling. I decided that I wanted to share the love some more.
-J
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Oh god, here we go.
- S
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So, that night when my fellow Marauders and I were chilling in the common room, I pitched the idea and bam! The Marauders' Advice Thingy was born. Wasn't that a great story?
- J
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Actually it was more like "Oi mates! Those first years are really thick. Can't even transfigure a match into a pin! How 'bout that eh?" and then I said, "James, that's not very nice, they're only beginners." And then James said, "I did it on my first go though! It's not hard." Then I frowned because he was being egotistical and he said, "Don't give me that face Remus, I gave them a few pointers. They sure needed it." And then I said, "Well at least you're helping someone for once. Giving them advice instead of leading them down the path to darkness". And then James said, "Hey! That's an idea! Let's lead people down the path to darkness but cunningly disguise it as one of those advice thingies! Lily will love me! Blah blah blah Lily blah blah blah." And then Sirius said "Anything to make you bloody shut up about Lily bloody Evans." And that's how it started.
-M
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You had to steal my moment, didn't you?
- J
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You never had it. And remember I'm still angry with you for the last question.
- S
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It's only the truth.
-M
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The truth is so annoying.
- J
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Actually, I don't remember James going "blah" so many times...
-P
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Oh he did, he was half drunk.
- S
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Oh yeah... That was that time when he stole your stash of firewhiskey.
-P
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He was on another low after Lily rejected him again. I should have never introduced him to firewhiskey.
- S
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No you shouldn't have. I said as much at the time but you were all "nah! It'll be fine! We can all have a laugh at him about it after and he won't even remember!"
-M
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Yeah, I'm sure if Lily knew how depressed he used to get, she would feel really guilty.
- P
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No wonder I have so many nights I don't remember.
- J
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Yeah... also I'm quite nifty with a memory charm. It was for your own good, I didn't think you'd want to remember that particular night.
-S
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Which night was this?
-P
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I don't like where this is going…
- J
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You know. That one time. With Lily. And James. And that thing. And the "Lily! Wanna shnog!" and the "Potter are you drunk?" and the "nah!" and then... ahem. Well. James tried to conjure some flowers for Lily... and... Well, he was pretty drunk because giant spiders aren't anything like flowers.
-S
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Is that why she was mysteriously covered in big red bite marks and wouldn't look me in the eye for a month? Because I thought that was because someone… well, you don't want to know what I thought. I can't believe I would do something like that. Why is Lily still dating me?
- J
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To be fair, you thought they were flowers. But maybe you shouldn't have gotten so drunk in the first place. That was really quite irresponsible.
-M
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Oh and you can talk can you? It's not like you've never dipped into my stash, eh Moony?
-S
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I was depressed again. Why does Sirius insist on using alcohol as a cure for depression? It never works.
- J
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Course it works. It shuts you up. Well, it shuts up the crying. And drunk dancing you is funnier.
- S
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Yes. We have photos. Many many photos.
-M
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Not helping.
- J
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Yeah! There was this one time when you nearly moonwalked down the stairs, but Sirius dragged you back just in time.
-P
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Am I not a lifesaver?
-S
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Well, considering you're the one who gives me the alcohol, I think it's the least you could've done. You are so the cause of all my problems.
- J
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No, I solve them. You cause them.
-S
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Actually, most of the problems he causes himself he does when he's drunk, or when you've told him to do something stupid.
-M
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Well, it's his fault for agreeing! Gees, James. Get a backbone.
-S
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Because you make me. Who is one who always tells me to go and give it "one more go" and ask out Lily again; You. Who gives me the firewhiskey when I go into a depressing spiral after she rejects me again; you. Who then creates dangerous situations to take advantage of me when I'm drunk, for his amusement; you. You, Sirius are the cause of problems.
- J
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Hey! That was uncalled for. I was only trying to help. If I hadn't told you to keep persisting you and Lily may never have gone out! And anyway, think of all the fond memories of your failed attempts. Would you really want it any other way?
-S
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I have a drinking problem, what do you think?
- J
---
It's more of a Sirius problem...
-M
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And that too. See what he's done to me?
- J
---
What's this? Gang up on Padfoot day? That's right, every little thing that's wrong in your lives has to be my fault. So fine! None of you can have any of my firewhiskey ever again! And if you ever need help, well you can look to someone else because I don't want to cause you any more trouble.
-S
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Come now Sirius, is that really appropriate? I mean, firewhiskey's okay every now and then. It's not like I ban you from my chocolate every time you get on my nerves.
-M
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I thought you'd be all for this "no alcohol" development Moony.
-S
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Er... well... I mean. We're all friends right? We should have ... er... sharing... vibes. Don't you think?
-M
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I'm an alcoholic now. You can't cut me off now!
- J
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Too late. It's done now. No more firewhiskey for you.
-S
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Damn you!
- J
---
Why are we all yelling at each other?
- P
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Because James is being a prat.
-S
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Because Sirius is being a prat.
-M
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And now Remus is being a prat too!
-S
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Becasue he cut me off!
- J
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Because Sirius isn't contributing to the sharing vibes!
-M
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Prats!
-S
---
Erm... okay then.
-P
---
Need…alcohol…
- J
---
James, you've hardly drunk anything since you started drinking Lily's saliva and now you all of a sudden need firewhiskey, just at the same moment I say you can't have mine anymore?
-S
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I can't feel my legs any more. I think my body is failing for the lack of alcohol
- J
---
I sort of agree with Sirius here, you're being ridiculous James.
-M
---
Yay! Someone finally agrees with me! But don't think you're getting any firewhiskey out of it Remus.
-S
---
Damn...
-M
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Just give me the firewhiskey and no one will get hurt!
- J
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And you go off at me all the time for my drinking habits. "Sirius it's bad for you!" and "Sirius think of what you're doing to your liver!" and now look at you! Raving loonies you lot.
-S
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I can see the red in his eyes. It looks like an albino rabbit. My uncle was killed by an albino rabbit.
- P
---
Killed by an albino rabbit?
-M
---
Yeah, it had big sharp pointy teeth!
-P
---
Justgiveittome…please, I'm begging you.
- J
---
Begging me? Really? Are you that desperate? Would you do anything?
-S
---
Anything!
- J
---
Oh dear, I can see where this is headed.
-M
---
Quickly say no and run before you get locked into something nasty!
- P
---
Well if that's the case, there may be something you could do to change my mind... Moo ha ha ha haaaa!
-S
---
Gee, you're really good at that evil laugh...
-P
---
Thank you, Pete. I've been practicing.
-S
---
Oh dear.
- J
---
That just about covers it.
-M
---
Dance for me.
- S
---
That's it? Dance?
- J
---
Oh, I'm not finished. You dance naked, in the Great Hall, at dinnertime, and to the muggle song "Do You Believe In Magic" and then announce your love for McGonagall.
- S
---
No. Way. In. Hell.
- J
---
Followed by an encore of another muggle song, "Higher and Higher".
- S
---
Still not doing it.
- J
---
Fine, then I guess you don't want any firewhiskey. Ever. Again.
-S
---
Don't give in James! Fight it! Fight it!
-M
---
But... but... argh! Mijimble.
- J
---
What was that?
- S
---
Oh no, I think he's caving.
- P
---
I said, fine.
- J
---
No! James! We just talked about this. This is the part where everything goes wrong. What would Lily say?
-M
---
You've made a lot of girls really happy, Jamsie ol' pal.
- S
---
On one condition.
- J
---
What?
- S
---
Lily isn't there.
- J
---
Why not? I'm sure she's seen it all before.
- P
---
I couldn't stand her being embarrassed like that.
- J
---
James, you coward. You shame Gryffindors everywhere.
-M
---
This is hard enough as it is Moony; don't make it worse. I have to.
- J
---
No you don't. The Hogs Head has no restraint about serving firewhiskey to underage wizards. Where do you think Sirius gets it?
-M
---
Well, you do make a good point there Remus.
- J
---
Of course I do.
-M
---
NO! Prongsie think of all the women!
- S
---
I think you do that enough already Sirius. Besides, if you want to please them so much, why don't you do it?
-M
---
Are you crazy? They'll all laugh at me. My Black pride just can't take that kind of abuse.
- S
---
What, and Potter Pride can?
- P
---
What Potter Pride?
-S
---
I hate you so much.
- J
---
I love you too pal. Now come on, lets go over the lyrics so you don't stuff up and make a fool of yourself.
- S
---
You're not really going through with this?
-M
---
No way.
- J
---
'Course he is. It will be hilarious!
- S
---
I am NOT doing this. Not for all the firewhiskey in the world.
- J
---
Well, that's settled then. What about the question? Or did you forget what we were doing before all this talk of firewhiskey and muggle songs came up?
-M
---
What question? Oh how we came up with the Thingy. Well, I thought we agreed it was because of my genius. Case closed.
- J
---
You? Genius? Don't make me laugh.
-S
---
I didn't see you coming up with such a fantastic concept.
- J
---
Yeah, well... shut up!
-S
---
Good one Sirius, really great.
-M
---
See, I am a genius. Now, I think this matter has been dealt with. End of question.
- J
A/N: Ahoy there! First of all, thanks a bunch to everyone who's reviewed, faved, alerted &c. &c. You make us all smiley on the inside :)
Alrighty, the vote is for real people. Tell us who you vote for in your review! Who will win? James or Sirius? Personally I vote Sirius, but it's up to you :)
Also, as alluded to in the beginning AN, our obsessive selves have left gratuitous Red vs. Blue references in this chappie, if you can spot all of them you win cookies! And I think there's a Monty Python reference in there too… We might have gone a bit overboard :/ (Also, if you've never seen RvB, go watch it. Now.)
Anyway, as always, R&R and send us your questions!
-discombobulated.shoe
Well, this chapter has been a long time coming. Sorry for the delay. We blame school, as usual. So, yes, it's up to you all to decide. Will James get his way and whip Sirius back into shape (come on! Think of the six-pack!) or will the slightly pudgy Sirius win and enslave James for a whole day. Only you're votes can decide.
A reminder, we're sorry if many of you are looking forward to see your questions and have them not come. We've got a long list and it's only fair that the earlier questions get done first. Although we may disregard ones which are no longer relevant according to the story. Sorry, but that's the way the cookie crumbles (Bruce Almighty). As mentioned, yes we have numerous Red Versus Blue references. For those of you who don't know what in the world RvB is, it is a Machimma made using the Halo games. It's absolutely hilarious. We greatly suggest you watch it. You can find videos at www . roosterteeth . com (minus the spaces) and YouTube. Go see it. The reader who can list the most RvB references wins a mention and a big bag of cookies. Chocolate Chip Cookies.
As always, keep sending us your praise and questions and requests. Especially the questions. And try to think original. Anything new and unique may get bumped up the list.
So, remember, Vote James or Sirius, keep sending in the questions, and have a great day!
R&R!
Tiger-Cub684