Hey this is just a little update because I wanted to get something out as a thankyou for all of the reviews I got for the previous chapter. They really do mean a lot and I'm so grateful for each and every one. This chapter is a little shorter than the previous ones but it felt like a good place to break it so that the next chapter flows nicely. hope you enjoy it and please review to tell me what you did/didn't like. Thanks for sticking with me this far!

Day 9: 5:48am

She was getting better at waking herself up from her nightmares before they truly claimed her into their clutches, Sam realised as she attempted to untangle herself from the tangle of bedsheets that were currently wound around her legs. She paused for a moment, listening to see if she had disturbed Tom but upon hearing no evidence of his stirring coming from downstairs she proceeded to extricate herself from the bed. In a way she was grateful because now that Tom had gone back to work the last thing he needed was disturbed sleep but she had to admit that it took her longer to calm herself down when Tom wasn't there when she woke.

Taking a couple of deep breaths to try and still her pounding heart she opened the curtains. The leaves on the tree she could see from her bedroom window had all turned orange and it struck Sam that she had no idea what date it was. The past week and a bit felt like it had gone past so quickly and yet every day had felt excruciatingly slow. A shiver travelled up her spine and Sam wrapped her arms around herself subconsciously rubbing at the goosebumps on the exposed skin of her upper arms.

Glancing down she caught sight of the bruises on her wrists. They were a pale greeny-yellow now but still definitely there, their noticeable pattern unmistakeably caused with malicious intent. Sam felt a flash of terror travel through her body before she tried to remind herself that she was safe, her attacker was still locked up. She wished she could have more than a fleeting moment of rationality before the unwanted thoughts began to creep back into her brain. Last night had been the first night in a while when she'd felt truly relaxed. She and Tom had sat at the kitchen table after dinner talking about his day and like always he'd commented on her grandmother's pastry recipe and for a good hour thoughts of the attack and everything that came with it were well and truly pushed to the back of her mind.

Cruelly it was when Tom had tentatively suggested they watch a DVD that the pain in her ribs had inensified and the annoying pulling in her stomach had turned into a dull ache. The painkillers were becoming less effective the more she took and she was finding that times when the pain was numbed to the point it had been were becoming less and less. The resurgence of the pain had only served to jolt Sam back into the dark place she had been in all week and try as she might she just couldn't face the thought of sitting through a DVD. And with that had come the guilt. He'd tried to hide it but Tom's face when she'd declined to watch the film had disappointment written all over it.

She hated that she'd given him a glimmer of hope and then taken it away again. She felt guilty for taking his comfort and then giving nothing in return, expecially when she felt as if she really didn't deserve it. She knew he probably would have classed last night as a breakthrough but Sam just felt like she was back at square one. None of this was fair, but it was especially unfair on Tom and once again Sam found herself wondering why he was still sticking around and putting up with everything. She shivered again, this time from the cold breeze that forced its way through the gap in the window frame and turned quickly; heading for the bathroom to begin what had become her new routine.

When Sam came downstairs 45 minutes later, hair damp and skin still tender from her vicious scrubbing she found that Tom had laid out breakfast for the both of them and seemingly in ignorance of the fact he started work in half an hour he hadn't yet appeared to have eaten anything. More guilt coursed through her as she realised he must have waited for her to come down.

"You're going to be late," Sam said simply and as the words came out of her mouth she was suddenly aware of how ungrateful she sounded, "I mean, this is lovely, but you don't want Zoe on your back," she added, backing up the sentence with a plastered on smile that she was sure Tom would see straight through.

"I think I can handle Zoe Hanna," Tom replied with a small smile, "it's just fruit and yoghurt I didn't think you'd want anything heavy, " he said, spooning some out on to his dish.

Another pang of guilt rooted her to the spot. He was going to work a 12 hour shift on just fruit and yoghurt because he'd rightly guessed that after eating her first proper meal in days she would still be feeling rather full. She must have pulled a face because he was quick to reassure her.

"Oh don't worry I definitely ate that leftover mash and a bowl of cereal before you came down," he explained, pointing to the empty dishes in the sink that Sam had failed to see, "sit down," he said kindly as he poured a glass of orange juice for her.

"Thank you," Sam said quietly as she took her seat. She spooned a little bit of fruit and yoghurt into her bowl and mixed it together until the fruit was almost completely smashed up like she always did. She heard Tom chuckle and couldn't help but smile a bit herself. They ate in a comfortable silence for a while before Tom spoke.

"How are you feeling?" he asked tentatively.

Sam dropped her head slightly. The truth was, she was feeling terrible, on top of the guilt from last night and the pain that was nagging at her, she was beginning to feel a rising panic not unlike yesterday. Of course she had not gotten around to telling Tom about yesterday and revealing it 15 minutes before his shift wasn't going to be helpful.

"Yeah," she said, keeping her eyes averted, "just a bit of pain,"

Tom's eyes narrowed in concern, "Are you sure you're okay here on your own? I could try a-"

"No really I'm alright, I just need to take it easy today," Sam reassured him, hoping he would believe her.

"Alright," he said but something in his voice told Sam that he was 100 per cent convinced, "I'll have my phone on me, you call if you need anything okay?" he insisted.

"Okay,"

"I really should go now," Tom said, glancing up at the clock, "Are yo-"

"Yes," Sam smiled at him, "go."

Tom came around to Sam's side of the table and he must have seen how she tensed up slightly because all he did was put a bit more fruit into her bowl and give her a little smile.

"We'll get a takeaway or something tonight alright, don't stress yourself about dinner okay,"

"Okay… Tom," she called as he reached the front door, "thank you for breakfast,"

He turned and smiled at her before he left, that wide smile that she was sure she didn't deserve anymore and yet she found herself comforted by it anyway. Turning her attention back to the bowl of fruit she found that once again her appetite had disappeared and sighed as she tried to figure out how she was going to cope with the next 12 hours.

Day 9: 12:31pm

Despite her body telling her that she really should be resting, Sam's absolute terror at being left alone with her thoughts had forced her into pushing herself too hard. She'd spent the entire morning sorting out the boxes that had filled the tiny spare room ever since she'd moved in over a year ago. It had been her intention to make it into an office but she'd never had the time. But after 5 hours of moving boxes and files and numerous trips up and down the stairs Sam had finally reached her limit and she was sat on the bottom step; surrounded by a pile of papers that she had lost her grip on, trying not to cry.

The pain was rolling through her in waves and the deep breaths she was taking in an attempt to halt her tears was only exacerbating things. She was sure she hadn't been in this much pain since she'd been in the ED. Pushing through, keeping her mind and body busy was the only way she had ever coped with anything bad and now even her ability to do that was that was failing her.

She slammed her palm into the wall in frustration, almost grateful for the sharp pain it sent travelling up her arm. Every time she thought she was making progress, taking one tiny step forward, straight away it was like 6 steps back. It was like she was trapped in her own personal circle of hell. Sam bit her lip, determined that this time, despite the pain she would not let the tears fall. It worked for a while, she sat there stubbornly swallowing the lump in her throat as she tried to will her body to move but when her phone vibrated in her pocket it startled her so much that she lost the control she'd previously had.

The tears slid down her cheeks, hot and fast but there were no hysterics, no sobbing, just release from the pent up frustration that had been building in her. Sam fumbled with her phone, squinting through the tears to look at the caller ID, and prayed it wasn't Tom because he would definitely notice something was wrong. Seeing that it was in fact DI Myles she pressed the answer button despite the fact that talking to her was the last thing Sam really needed.

"Yes," Sam answered sharply.

"It's Detective Inspector Myles, is that Samantha?"

"Yes,"

"Hello Samantha, I'm just ringing to see if it's convenient for me to come around to your house to discuss some aspects of the case with you today? Of course you are free to come to the station instead I just thought it would be easier if I came to you,"

Sam moved the phone away from her ear and stared at it for a moment. She hadn't been prepared for the police to come round today at all. Especially not in the state she was in.

"Samantha, hello?" DI Myles' voice travelled through the tiny phone speaker.

"I'm here," Sam choked out, putting the phone back up to her ear, "today's not good,"

"This is really important, it would be best if we do it today," the detective insisted in a gentle but firm voice.

Sam could hear the insistence in her voice, and somewhere in the back of her mind a voice was telling her that she should probably agree with the detective, no matter how she was feeling. She just wished she wasn't alone.

"When?" Sam asked. She was aware she was giving one syllable answers and any other time she would have been embarrassed at her rudeness but the fact was that she was currently in so much pain and couldn't manage much more.

"In about half an hour if that's convenient?"

No.

"Okay," Sam answered.

"I'll see you then."

Sam threw the phone on the floor in frustration and immediately regretted it, she'd have to pick it up… no she'd do that later. Bracing herself with her palms flat on the walls either side of her Sam attempted to push herself up off the step. The pain was radiating up from her stomach and up into her ribs. She had a horrible feeling that something was wrong but she pushed it away reassuring herself that she'd just pushed too far this morning. Sam let out an audible yelp as she got to her feet, she was almost bent double but it was a start. Shuffling her way slowly to the kitchen she was determined to get some painkillers into her before DI Myles turned up.

Thank you so much for reading :) x