CHAPTER 21
*Willow Point of View*
I heard the doctor say the words. I'm sure of it. But, I don't understand. It's been four months. I mean, the spells have helped, but, what?
"Wh-what?" I stammer at the doctor
"You can go home Ms. Rosenberg." she repeats, smiling at me
"I, can go home?" I ask her, a joyful sensation flooding my body
"Yes." she tells me, grinning, "You just have to sign these few papers, but you have shown miraculous improvement. Of course, you'll need to check in with us from time to time, but you have a clean bill of health."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can go home! Or, at least, what home is now. Giles's house. At least we're all together.
"How soon can I get out?" I ask her, grinning, "And, can I use the phone? I need to tell Xander."
"Of course. I'll get the paperwork as soon as possible." she puts her hand on mine for a second, and a jolt of electricity runs up my arm. She's pretty hot. Then she smiles, and walks out of the room.
The moment she's out of range, I get up, and run towards the phone hanging from the wall.
I dial his number, and I can hardly wait to hear his voice. He's going to be so hyped!
"Hello?" he answers, confused
"Xander!" I reply, excitedly
"Willow? Is something wrong? It's 6am."
Oh shoot. I was so excited that I totally blanked on the time.
"No, nothing's wrong!" I grin, "Xander, I can leave!"
"Leave the hospital?" he asks me, clearly not getting it
"Yes. For good!" I squeal
There's a pause, before he responds, his voice very high and peppy.
"Wait, seriously? You can come home!" he screams
"Yes! I can come home!"
He gives a laugh, and I can hear him grin over the phone.
"I'll be there as soon as I can!"
A faint clicking sound hits my ears, followed by a buzzing. I place the phone back down on the receiver, and go back to pack my very few things.
I place two shirts, a pair of pants, a sweater, my laptop, and a spare diaper of Tommy's into the small sack hanging from the edge of my bedpost.
Just as I finish, there's a knock at the door.
"Come in!" I say very loudly
A nurse comes in, and hands me the paperwork.
"Page me when it's done." she says, and then walks out
I look down at the papers, and see thousands of words that basically all come out to, "I won't sue the hospital if I die."
I sigh, and sign my name on the spaces allotted.
Then, I press the call button, and she promptly walks in almost a second after, and takes the paperwork from me.
"I'll come and get you when it's all cleared." she states briskly, and then walks out again.
This nurse doesn't seem much for emotion.
I sit down on the bed, and the familiar crinkling of the hospital gown echoes in my ears. Then the thought hits me. I can change! I can finally get out of these horrible clothes!
I quickly unzip the bag, and pull out the red jeans, and blue and white striped shirt I have lying inside. The smell of home overwhelms me as I pull the shirt over my head, and a swell of emotions runs over me.
As much as I'm totally excited to get out of this place, there's also a sense of unease. I mean, things aren't going to be the same as they were before. I know that. But, I still want things to be kind of usual. They can be usual, right?
I zip up the pants, and then plop back down on the bed. I've spent so much time just sitting here, watching the clock move, or the clouds move. The TV barely ever worked, so I couldn't even have Spongebob.
After ten minutes, the nurse still hasn't shown up, so I figure I'll do some healing. I don't want to have these big burns too prominent.
I carefully prop myself up, and fold my legs underneath me. Then I close my eyes, and try to focus on the sounds, and smells of the room. When I can paint a clear picture in my mind, I begin slowly shifting all of the energy coming from the senses into my body. I can feel my skin burn a little, but I focus on the picture.
I am suddenly pulled out by a crash coming from the hallway.
I bolt to the door, and wrench it open to see Xander lying on the floor, looking dazed. What the hell happened?
I run over to him, and place my hand on his chest.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" I ask, as he sits up
"Yeah, Wil." he tells me, pulling me up with him, "I just tripped over a thing of medical equipment."
"You tripped over medical equipment?" I ask, snarkily
"Hey, I'm not perfect." he replies, pulling me into a hug as we walk back to my room
The moment we reach the threshold, he pulls me into a deep kiss. I reply very enthusiastically.
He's been petrified to touch me when I was in the bed, even though I assured him every minute I was fine. I guess all of his feelings are finally being let out, after all the waiting.
After a minute, he breaks away.
"So, can we go?" he asks, tilting his head towards the doorway
"Not quite yet." I answer, sitting down on the bed, and pulling him down next to me, "The nurse is going to come back with the papers."
Xander nods, and wraps one of his arms around me. I nestle my head into the crook of his neck, and tuck my legs under his own. We fit so snugly together it's like it was meant to be (as cheesy as that sounds).
"So, we can finally chill out normally as a family now." I tell him, beaming with delight at the thought
"Thank god." he laughs, "I can tell Tommy misses you. He's fussy all the time now. Plus, he's teething."
"Oh great." I tell him, playing with his hair, "I come back just in time for no sleep."
"Pretty much." he whispers, looking out the window
After a minute of this, I break the mood with a more pressing question.
"So, what's the news on the Trio?" I ask, turning around to face Xander
"They've been quiet for a while." he tells me, speaking very softly, "So they're obviously preparing for something big. There's another problem though."
"What is it?" I ask, nervously
"Well, there's been some magical disturbances lately. We don't really know what's causing them, but we've heard from people something about a 'shift in the energy.' No clue what that means." he grimaces
"A shift in energy?" I repeat, questioningly, "I haven't felt anything."
"Well you have been crammed up in a hospital for four months. I imagine your senses could get a little messed up." he replies, looking down at his watch
A disturbance in energy? I have absolutely no idea what could have caused that. It's very rare for a change, as it's usually very nice and steady. This could mean very bad news.
"What's taking them so long?" Xander asks, looking towards the door
"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience Mr. Rosenberg." the nurse answers, walking in with an amused smile on her face
"It's Harris." Xander corrects her, his face turning pink
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Harris." she nods her head towards him slightly mockingly, "Well Ms. Rosenberg, your papers are all in order. You are free to leave."
She hands me a copy of the forms, which I take, very generously.
"Thank you so much, for everything." I smile at her, before I take Xander's hand, sling my bag over my shoulder, and walk out of the room
It feels so great to finally be leaving this place. I can finally go back to my normal boring life. Or, a life as normal and boring as it always is.
I can sense that Xander feels it too, and I grin at him.
He grins back, and squeezes my hand before we walk out of the big hospital doors, into the parking lot.
It is a beautiful day outside. The air is warm, with a slight breeze, and there are a few white puffy clouds in the sky, but not many. It's like nature is welcoming me home.
I take in a breath of air, and feel the freshness fill my lungs. It fills me with strength, and I suddenly feel like I could tackle any demon the world has to throw at me. I probably could too.
I am extremely reluctant to get into the car, but I do it anyway, as you know, I also want to get as far away from that freaky building as possible.
Before I think too hard into it, I jump into the car and slam the door behind me.
"Drive!" I say forcefully, looking towards Xander
He obliges, and drives away way over the speed limit.
"Well you don't have to kill us." I tell him, holding on to the handles, "You can slow down."
"Sorry." he murmurs, returning to an acceptable speed
"So," I ask, "any ideas on where all of this energy is going to?"
"None at all." he tells me, keeping his eyes on the road
"I'll head out and check tonight." I state, my mind made up
"But you just came home." he protests, "You can't go out again."
"How about we talk with Buffy?"
I figure it's the only way to get him to even consider it.
We sit in silence for the rest of the ride, until we eventually pull up in front of Giles's house.
A wave of nerves hits me as I step out, although I don't know why. It's just Giles, and Buffy, and Dawn, and possibly Spike.
"You ready?" Xander asks me, holding my bag over his shoulder
"Ready as I'll ever be." I smile, grabbing his hand
I look at him, and I think he can sense the fear in my eyes, because he gives my hand a squeeze, and whispers, "It's going to be okay."
I nod, and turn my head forward towards the door.
Then I take a deep breath, and walk forward. There's a cold aura around the door, and I imagine that a spell was placed on it. Probably for protection.
I hold up my fist, and wrap three times on the wood.
In a matter of seconds, the door opens and the face of our old librarian appears.
"Willow." he smiles, pulling me into a one armed hug, "It's so nice to see you again."
"Same here Giles." I grin back, "Thank you so much for this."
"It's my pleasure."
I release myself from his hug, and slowly walk deeper into the house, towards the guest room that Xander is sleeping in.
"Where are Buffy and Dawn?" I ask, opening up the door, to reveal a medium sized bed, several bookshelves, and a little baby bed where Tommy is fast asleep
"Well, Dawn's at school. And, I honestly have no idea where Buffy is." Giles tells me, following me in
"Well that's pretty usual."
I sit down on the bed, and run my hands down my legs, trying to think about what to do next.
Giles sits down next to me, and Xander is nowhere is sight.
He opens up his mouth to say something, but I quickly cut him off as I'd rather him not launch into that 'are you sure you're okay' spiel.
"So Giles, Xander told me that there was some sort of disturbance in the energy. Do you have any idea about what's up?"
"Oh, yes." he stammers, cleaning his glasses, "Well, as Xander probably filled you in, there have been several reports of shifting supernatural energies. They seem to all be congregating in a few spots around town, in some sort of rotating pattern. Our guess is that there was some sort of occurrence that caused this. We are still trying to find the source."
I rack my brain, trying to come up with any information I would have. That's when it hits me.
"Amy!" I say, standing up, "She, she was in the fire. She died. Could that have caused the change in energy? I mean, she was a very powerful witch."
"Yes, that could very well be it" Giles replies, excitement growing in his voice
"I'll go check out the sources, just to be sure." I tell him, walking towards the door
"Where are the hotspots?"
"Over, in these locations." Giles tells me, running towards a map laid out on the coffee
table.
He points to a few spots, and I make a mental note.
"Okay. I'll be back as soon as possible." I say, grabbing a knife from the chest and giving Xander a kiss on the forehead
"What's happening?" he asks, extremely confused
"Going to do some magics."
"Okay, be careful. It's almost night." Xander yells after me as I run out the front door
Sure enough, a orange sunset is beginning to form, and the air is getting the slightest bit colder.
I fold my arms tightly together, and proceed to walk down the street, towards the first site.
It should only take about three minutes, as long as I did the mental calculations correctly.
As I pass the fifth block, the air begins to become thicker. There's a darkness gripping the atmosphere, and it's quite cold. I'm really not fan.
I draw closer to the location, and I begin to sense the energy change.
There's a slight buzz in the air, and it feels like there's a vacuum that's sucking all of the energy up into it. It could be some sort of portal.
After a few more steps, I notice something strange. It feels like there's some sort of presence in front of me. I crane my neck around, but there's nobody there.
Cautiously, I stick my hand forward, and it slowly begins to melt away. I
I jerk my arm back in fright, and it returns to normal.
It must be a rotating magical portal. The only question now, is where it leads.
I gather my courage, take a breath, and walk forward.
A darkness grips my insides. I am blind. I cannot see or feel anything. All sense of reality is gone. My organs start to twist up, and my breathing is cut off. I am trapped inside a tunnel. I can't move. A high pitched whistling sound runs through my ears, and my head is under so much pressure I think it's going to explode. I try to run forward, to escape this torture, but I can't move.
Suddenly, the world around me materializes and the sensation fades away.
I look around, and see a small room with a big wooden table in the center, surrounded by old looking armchairs. There's a person sitting in the one closest to me, but all the other seats are empty. The only other thing in the room is a little door to the far end.
Before I have time to think about what to do next, the door opens with a bang, and a very strange looking man steps out. He has pale skin, and a few slash marks next to his eyes. His hair is an amber color, and extremely oily. Chills run up my spine at the sight.
"You!" he points to me, and a snarl crosses his face, "Come in."
I cautiously step forward into the room, and the door slams shut behind me. It appears to be a very simple place, with nothing but a few grand armchairs.
The man steps up from behind me, and runs his hand over my hair. I jerk back quickly, and look at him with disgust.
"I sense incredible power with this one." he murmurs under his breath, his gaze running down my body
"What do you want?" I ask shakilly, taking a few paces back
"I should be asking you this question." he replies, closing the gap between us, "You were the one who came to me."
"I was looking for a disturbance in energy." I answer him, truthfully
"You sure you weren't looking for anything else?" his breath tickles my face as he talks, and I resist the urge to vomit
"Who are you?" I ask, trying to sound as brave as possible
"My name is Rack." he answers cooly, stroking my face, "I'm a warlock. People generally come to me for dark magic."
"I don't want any dark magic." I retort quickly, jumping back from his touch
"Ah, but you already have it." he tells me, drawing closer again, "I can feel it. If you just let me help you, you could feel it too."
"I don't want to feel it!" I say aggressively, pushing him from me
"I think you do."
Rack then moves his hands together so quickly, I barely have time to react.
"Alliges duplicia!" he yells
I am immediately thrown back, and I can feel my body go limp as I am bound to the wall behind me.
"I just need to take a little tour."
He begins to walk towards me, and I thrash around wildly, trying to get away, but I am held firmly in place.
He then places his hand on my chest, and a wave of energy immediately hits me.
I can feel him inside me, searching through my memories, and my magical abilities. He's thriving from my magic. Absorbing it.
After a minute, he draws away, gasping for breath.
"Just as I suspected." he says again, "Very powerful."
Rack draws closer to me again, and places his hand in the same spot.
"Now, for your turn."
Power surges through me. It feels like I have been activated. Like I am alive for the first time. Energy surges through my bloodstream, and envelopes every part of my body. I am cradled in magic, and it begins to consume me.
I forget about everything else. My friends, my family, they have no meaning anymore. It is just me. Only me. I have no emotion. I am just power. I don't need anything else. I am the universe.
I am suddenly jerked out of the trance. Rack walks away from me, and sits back down in his chair.
I am thrust from the wall, and fall to the floor.
I want more of it. I need more of it.
Before I can voice my thoughts, his voice chimes out, "In time, strawberry. For now, you must leave."
I don't want to, but I can sense that he is true.
I force my feet to the door, and walk back out through the portal.
It hurts slightly less this time, but not by a lot.
As the cold of night consumes me again, the reality of what I just did hits me.
I just played with dark magic.
The scariest part is how much I enjoyed it. When I was full of its power, it felt like it was supposed to be like that. Now it feels like something's missing.
"You should never have done that." I whisper to myself
He forced me to though. I didn't have a choice. How could he do that? He made me forget about Buffy, and Xander, and even Tommy. He gave me something he had no right to give me. He took away what he had no right to take away.
As I walk forward into the night, I don't feel like Willow. Something's wrong with me. I am still Willow, right? I mean, just being exposed to that much magic once doesn't mean anything. As long as I don't act on it again…
Another part of me begins to question that though. Now it feels like I am Willow for the first time now. It feels like everything else was fake, like it was all an act. It was a shield to try to cover up who I really was.
But no, that can't be true. I just have to forget. That's my only option. I can't dwell on it.
As I make up my mind, I suddenly realise that I'm standing in front of Giles's house. That's weird. I guess I wasn't really thinking about where I was going.
I walk forward, and knock on the door.
A very flustered Xander opens it, and his face relaxes when he sees me on the other side.
"Good!" he stammers, pulling me into a hug, "You're home. I was getting worried."
I don't answer, and instead just try to put on a happy face. I walk over the threshold, and see Buffy and Dawn sitting on the couch, playing with Tommy.
Dawn immediately comes over to hug me, followed closely by Buffy, who hands me the baby.
"It's so nice to have you back for good Wil." Buffy tells me, grinning
"It's nice to be home." I answer, trying to not let on the insane confusion running through my head
"So Willow, did you find anything out?" Giles asks me, walking forward.
God, what do I say?
"Uh, yes." I stammer, "It seems to be a shifting magical portal. The guy who runs it, he's a dark magic dealer. He goes by rack. I am guessing he knew Amy"
"Oh my God, Wil are you okay?" Xander asks me, grabbing my arm, and searching for any injuries
"Yes." I lie, "He didn't touch me."
"Well thank heavens for that." Giles adds in, walking back over to the books
Tommy gives a little cry in my arms, and he begins to look around frantically. He must be hungry.
"Do you want to go and feed him?" Xander asks me, tilting his head towards the bedroom
No. I don't want to feed him. I don't want him to be anywhere near me right now, let alone be fed by me. He can't be exposed to this.
"I'm kinda feeling drained." I tell Xander, handing Tommy to him, "I think I just need to go to bed. Sorry. Do we have bottles left?"
"Yeah." he answers, looking a little confused and dejected, "Yeah. Go get some sleep. I'll be in soon."
"K. Goodnight everyone." I murmur briefly, and then take off to the room.
I feel like crying. I am so confused, and just want to be done. I just want a little bit of time with no confusion, no pain. Just normal life. Maybe sleep will help with that.
I lie down on the bed, and get under the covers.
I try to let myself get pulled into sleep, but I find that I can't. I'm too alert.
"Please." I whisper into the night, desperate for help, of any kind, "Please."
In response, nothing happens. The room remains silent, and dark.
I resort to staring up at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind. Trying to meditate. Trying to do anything.
Instead, I feel the unease and confusion rise up inside me, until it's all I am.
Hi guys! I hope you liked that chapter! So, I'm having some serious writer's block, so I don't think I'm going to be posting for a little while. I just want to make sure that I can be proud of the content I post. I don't want to post utter garbage just for the sake of posting. I hope you understand. Sorry!