Disclaimer: Mash-up. I merged my favorite book as a kid with my favorite book as an adult. The basic premise is from Elizabeth Cadell's 1955 "The Lark Shall Sing," while the characters and setting are from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries. If it's a swear word or kind of twisted, it's my influence.

Chapter Twenty-One: Bill on the Phone, Part 1

Sookie was lying on her bed. She had gotten through to Bill but he was in the midst of a work-related call and promptly asked if he could put her on hold. Rather than be miffed, Sookie was enjoying the tranquility of the moment. She was also still trying to figure out how to explain the situation to Bill. He didn't exactly take surprises well. Not that he got angry—really. Sookie rarely saw Bill lose his temper. He didn't run hot and cold, more like variations of cool and warm and tepid. She waited.

Sookie had met Bill Compton nearly ten months earlier, soon after her move to Dallas. She had just started her job at the magazine and she needed to interview an economist to get their opinion on the current economic climate in Dallas. Hurricane Katrina had wrought many changes, not only in Louisiana but in the entire Gulf Coast. Texas, especially the Dallas area, had experienced an influx of people, a growth in business, and a spike in development. Five years after the devastating hurricane, there was still a lot of debate as to identifying the long-term effects.

One of her colleagues had given her Bill as a contact and she made arrangements to meet him at this normally sedate café near her office that for some unknown reason was playing what could only be described as naughty honky-tonk that evening. As she approached Bill, dodging tightly clad honkytonks and "rednecks" suggestively swaying to the music, she was internally dying of laughter but she held it in when she saw how uncomfortable Bill looked sitting there: this uptight economist wearing chinos and a polo shirt surrounded by cowboys and cowgirls. She later found out that the café was having a live performer for the first time later that night and it was playing music to get the audience in the mood. She laughed at the memory.

Bill didn't really fit in very well in Texas. He had taken a job with a Dallas consulting firm right after getting his Masters at UCLA. By the time he realized maybe Texas wasn't the right place for a WASP from the Northeast he had put down considerable roots, having bought a house. Then they had started dating, and once they had gotten serious, when Bill proposed a month earlier, the idea of Bill moving back to New England was thrown out for good.

Suddenly she was rewarded for her patience when she heard his voice.

Sookie? Darling? You there?

"Yeah, Bill, of course. I'm here patiently waiting like you asked. I'm not gonna hang up on you!" She laughed.

Well, of course not. Just you're quiet.

"Would you feel better if I was on hold talking to myself?"

Well, when you put it that way, no. He laughed.

"Yeah, me neither," Sookie replied. "Although if ever there were a time for me to start talking to myself, now would be it."

What? Why? What's going on? Did the tenants damage the house?

"What? Oh, no. No, nothing like that. The house is fine. Surprisingly, considering. Maybe they did all that criminal activity to take care of the farm. Who knows? Maybe I'll go visit them in prison and thank them for being such good tenants."

Well, if the house is okay, then what is the problem?

"Oh," Sookie let out a breath. "Well, no one reacted well to my email about selling the house."

Well, I imagine they all are concerned about getting their things, right? You said they had stuff stored at the house still?

"Yeah, everyone's got stuff here still. In fact, there's more here today than there was yesterday," she mumbled. "There's more people too."

What are you saying, Sookie? Who's there with you? Stop speaking in riddles. You know I don't have time for this.

Sookie rolled her eyes. Bill could be so…not fun…sometimes. Well, guess I'll just spit it out so he can go back to work. "Well, its not just that they were upset about their stuff. No one wants the house sold. So everyone came home. Yesterday."

What?

"You heard me. Everyone. Tara flew in from New York. Hoyt and Hunter basically ran away from San Antonio on a Greyhound bus. Amelia hitched a ride from New Orleans. Even Jason is here. He was released from active service a few days ago, bought a car and made a beeline straight for home."

Oh, no. I'm so sorry, darling. This is very distressing. How childish and careless of them. One thing for the children, but your brother and sister are certainly old enough to not act so impetuously. You'll have to get them all to go back from where they came.

Never mind the fact that that exact thought had been Sookie's initial response. Hearing it from Bill irked her. It was one thing if she slammed her siblings for their thoughtlessness, stupidity, and stubbornness, but no one else—including Bill—had the right to do that. Besides, get them all to go back from where they came? Does he think they're trained circus animals or something?

"Uh, why do you think that?" She figured she knew where he was coming from but was still curious as to what he would say.

Well, Sookie, you live here with me now. I know you were the head of them all and guardian to the children but you're not moving back to Bon Temps, therefore they must all leave.

Bill made it sound so simple, yet she knew it wasn't simple. It was actually quite complicated. Sookie knew his assessment made sense—on the face of it—but still it made her sad.

"Yeah, well, I may not be the head of them all, not anymore. Jason's pretty on top of things," she sighed. "I think his stint with the Navy must've included 'mutiny' training because he's all over this."

Why? What do you mean? Bill's tone sounded agitated.

"Oh, its just," Sookie took a breath, considering her words. "Jase has grown up. He's kind of all 'take charge.' Tara's here too, remember. She wants to stay. And the kids... Ame managed to get herself expelled and the boys running off didn't exactly endear themselves to Aunt Linda, so she doesn't want them back." Sookie took a deep breath. "Regardless of what anyone wants, the kids don't have anywhere else to go. Jason, for that matter, doesn't either. Tara quit her job and gave notice on her apartment. So, it looks like all the Stackhouses have come home to roost."

Well, all but one, darling.

"Yeah, all but one." Sookie agreed. Thanks, Bill, for reminding me.

Well, what about money to keep it going? I hope they don't expect me to support them all.

Well, now. Way to go with the support system, Bill. That just pissed Sookie off. It wasn't like he supported her. Why would he even think her family might hold some expectation of him supporting them? She had never, ever given him any indication that she expected anything other than 50 percent equality in their relationship, including their finances. He could be so thick sometimes.

"No, Bill," she stared stonily ahead as she clipped her words. "No one expects you to be swooping in and saving the day."

Oh, well, yes. I mean, of course, I'll do anything I can, darling, but I'm not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination.

Sure, Trust Fund. Save it. She was already finding herself a bit tired of this conversation. They tended not to do well over the phone.

"No, Bill." She rolled her eyes although she wondered whether or not it counted if there was no one there to see it? She smiled to herself. "No one is looking for handouts from you. Or from me, for that matter. Jase is set on getting a job. Tara's here to help out. The kids can go to the public school. Uncle Mike and Aunt Jane and JB —as well as everyone else—is still around and I'm sure no one will go hungry or anything."

Oh, Sookie, I just realized that you must be working yourself quite hard with everyone home. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you taking your vitamins?

Sometimes it just irked her the way Bill was seemingly obsessed with her taking vitamins. Maybe he owns stock in Vitamin Shoppe?

"Hmmm, about that..." Rather than let him think she was working herself to the bone, she figured she may as well come clean. "We actually have a few house-guests," she told him breezily. "One of them has taken to doing the laundry and linens, while the other has been performing miracles in the kitchen."

What? House-guests? Strangers? Who are these people?

Sookie thought about how best to respond to Bill's question. Who are these people? Interesting question. Miracle workers? The Stackhouse 'yangs' they'd been waiting for? If I try to explain, would Bill get it that some cosmic game of the universe has miraculously sent us the perfect houseguests? Naw, I don't think he'd get it.

"Well, Tara met this woman at the airport. She missed her bus tour and had nowhere to go and was kind of lost so Tara and Jason brought her home. And Amelia hitched a ride with a business woman on I-49. And Hoyt and Hunter got a lift from Shreveport with Eric Northman."

Dead silence.

Eric Northman? The actor?

"Yep. Isn't that something?" She was very nonchalant about it. Well, she was very nonchalant about it. For the most part.

Eric Northman is staying at your house? With you? But why?

She didn't really have a good answer to that. Truthfully, each of their guests had money and means to go somewhere else. They could easily get hotel rooms in Shreveport. Eric, she knew, already had a room in Shreveport. None of them had cars but there were plenty of rental places out by the airport. If they stayed in Shreveport, they'd have mobility, options and flexibility. But she couldn't help but recognize the fact that nobody wanted to leave. They want to stay at the farm. She couldn't blame them for that as she found herself feeling pangs of dread every time she thought about returning to Dallas

"Um, well, Pam—that's the business woman—and Eric kind of collided their cars the other night on the property. And so there really was no way to get back to Shreveport then, as it was so late and a really bad squall came in. Anyway, now, everyone's kind of settled into a little routine. It's like summer camp. You been to summer camp, Bill?"

No.

Why was she not surprised? "Well, it's just different enough from your normal life to be fun and interesting, but not so different that you're worried about anything."

Ah... Let me understand this. Eric Northman is staying at your farm because he misses summer camp? Bill's voice sounded cold and dismissive.

Truthfully, hearing Bill say it like that it sounded fucktarded, but it had made sense to Sookie when she'd said it. "Uh, yeah, Bill."

Sookie, I'm concerned about the goings-on at the house. I don't like all this… this sudden upheaval. There was a plan. It was set in place and now it seems to have fallen by the wayside.

"Yeah, Bill, I agree," and she did. "The plan's been shot to hell. That's why we've gotta make a new plan."

Well, it sounds like you need some help with that.

"Excuse me?" What? Seriously?

Sookie, you heard me. I think your brother and your siblings blindsided you. I'm concerned that you're all emotional—as well as you should be—happy to see one another, and to be at home for the first time in awhile. But, I'm wondering that you need someone who is removed—emotionally—from the situation, who can assess things in a clearheaded manner.

"Oh," that's all she could get out. She really was shocked. Was Bill proposing that he leave Dallas and come out to Bon Temps? "Bill, are you suggesting you come out here?"

Yes, of course, darling. If you need me, I'll be there as soon as I can.

"Oh, wow. I didn't think you'd be able to adjust your schedule. I wouldn't have asked—"

Darling, you don't have to. I'm quite concerned about all this. I don't want to worry about you. So I'll come out there as soon as I can.

"Oh, okay. Wow, you'll get to meet everyone!"

Yes.

"When do you think you'll be able to get out here?"

Well, I need to figure out how to adjust my deadlines and work schedule. I was, as you know, in the middle of several very important projects, but don't you worry about that. I will work it out and let you know. Maybe later tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I'll give you a quick call or send a text when I know my travel plans.

"Oh, okay, Bill. Wow, I can't believe you're going to meet everyone! I figured it might not happen until the wedding! This will be …nice." Nice. Observing her siblings for the past twelve hours, Sookie wasn't sure how much she meant that. The kids had always seemed pretty lukewarm around Bill. Now they seemed to visibly make faces when his name was mentioned. Sookie thought she'd even caught Pam smirking when Bill's name came up. Tara had demonstrated the enthusiasm of a dental patient going in for root canal at the prospect of meeting her fiance.

After the couple exchanged their goodbyes, Bill spent a few minutes staring at his phone. He mentally rewound and replayed the conversation he'd just had with his fiancee. At Sookie's assessment that his visit would be "nice," he had to waiver. He wasn't sure how 'nice' it was going to be, but it was definitely going to be.

Eric Northman, indeed. Summer camp? Sookie Camp was more like it!

AN: Thank you for reading/rereading! Whether you are a rereader or a new reader, please let me know what you think. Your random comments are my plot bunnies/walking papers to write more. LMAO. "Sookie Camp". That Bill. So witty.