Reborn from Truth and Lies

by DeyaniraSan

"How funny. I've always wanted to escape real world, and now, that I am finally free from it, I find myself longing it back." Alette has had a rough life. But after a fatal accident she meets Truth, which grants her the possibility to enter Fullmetal Alchemist and live. As she enters that world she finds that things had changed, including the possible outcome of the two brothers.

21. Chapter 20: Fight of the Damned

Chapter 20

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Alette's P.O.V.

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"But Eeeeeeeeeeed!" I whined.

"I said no!" he yelled back.

"But…"

"No!"

"I'll do something equally annoying in return!"

"Then why won't you drink it?!"

"Because I dislike iiiit…"

"Well I fucking hate it!"

At that we both stopped, our eyes looking meeting with similar horror in there. The only difference was that his stayed that way, and I burst out laughing, shaking the bed with my erratic moves.

"Oh…my…God…" I wheezed.

"Shut up!" yelled Ed.

"Sorry, but I can't believe this. I made you swear. You spent so much time in my dignified presence that you borrowed my dignified words."

"Shut up already, you do it all the time! Why is it a big deal if I say it?"

"Oh Ed, but it is, can't you see?" I was lying on my tummy on Ed's across hospital bed, my feet dangling on the other side, making him scramble in a very uncomfortable position near the pillow, his eyes glowing in annoyance a hole through my skull. As I said that, I moved upwards towards him, half-crawling, sustaining my body in my hands, until we were only centimetres apart. "Can't you see? I am here to make sure you don't do anything like I would."

His golden eyes moved fast between mine, and I stayed there a second longer until he got the point before retreating to the other side of the bed, finally making place for its resident.

"And perhaps you should drink it after all." At that, he sliced me with his gaze before I slyly slid the innocent milk bottle the hospital supplied for his lunch forward towards him once more, our initial argument. He stared at me once more before furrowing his eyebrows and crossing his hands stubbornly over his hospital gown. It was effective indeed, but not in the way, he expected it to work because once more I was cracking with laughter. At his surprised expression, I started laughing more, until I was hugging myself and falling from the bed. When I finally found it in me to move from the foetal position I had adopted on the floor I saw him sitting in the same position the only difference being that he was fighting a smile. At that, I pointed a finger towards him waving up and down in front of his face. It seemed that was his undoing because he started huffing puffs of air in what I interpreted as annoyed amusement.

Eventually we stopped laughing, when my tummy was hurting in that pleasant way, and he was sprawled on the bed his head hanging downwards, the food trail and milk long forgotten.

"Could…" His voice was rough and so he coughed before starting once more. "Could you please tell me how you are the same person from before when you ranted for ten minutes about the importance of milk in one's diet?"

At that, I looked at him from the spot I occupied in the small bed, the pillow somewhere lost under me. "That's rude…as if I can't believe milk is important….Ok, it's a piece of shit. A tasteless piece of shit." I added at his mean gleam. "But Winry told me to convince you. I tried at least. And I put some great effort into it considering I don't see it as very important myself."

"Plus…" I added while stretching, my legs kicking Ed's body. "I don't think you are short. It is a nice height for a 15…"

"You think?" The sarcasm was dripping from his voice. Perhaps we did spend a little too much time together.

"Of course I do! I am almost your height and older than you! Therefore your height is ok."

"If you say so..."

"Don't 'if you say so' me! Are you implying we are both short?!" And before the storm with the name of Edward Elric started upon hearing that word I directed my attention to the other silent participant in our queer discussion. "What do you think Al?"

Al was staying on the floor his back to the wall, his face towards us, but I knew he had been lost in his thoughts for the last couple of hours, only at times entering conversation. I watched him come back to us, so I slowly repeated the question, to which of course he replied we were not short. That of course allowed me to rub it in Ed's face, even though the mood was lost to the both of us.

Ed had been a while in the hospital before I had come from Dublith back here. That meant his row with Al was long past and all things were good. Except they weren't and at times Al would become undisposed to the outside world, getting lost in his own thoughts. Ed never said anything but I knew he knew. Every time something like that happened it pained me, and it only made me want to beat the crap out of the both of them. Thankfully, Winry covered that.

I sighed. The day Ed was going to be checked out was nearing, and so did the anxiety in my gut. The foreboding feeling never left me alone even in the light of day, making me twitch with restless thoughts. There were too many things to do, still too many possibilities left or things that could happen, and all of it made my brain turn to jelly from so much thinking and analysing. The only good thing was my constant bickering with Ed. As I was burdened with unshared thoughts and him with constant boredom and annoyance, we made quite of pair. Put us in a room for most of the day and voila, the perfect receipt for disaster.

Maes, to whom I accepted the offer to stay at, got tired of us. We drove Winry crazy in hours, and Maria Ross and Denny Brosh were in a constant state of pain as our guards at the door. Or theirs, as it seemed the only ones that took the role as my guards were Major Armstrong and Hughes. I agreed with them. Central was giving me worse vibes with every passing day, and I started to get twitchy every time I left the house or hospital room. I felt as if I wasn't incognito enough, and every MP on the street made me cross the street. One time I went with Winry to the market resulted in me stressing over a person and whether or not he had been following us.

The other good thing was, surprisingly, Maes' daughter that took a very unlikely pleasure in my company. And never in my life have I realised how much I could swear until I couldn't. Hughes family was amazing in every way possible. Gracia a loving wife and mother, so kind to everyone, including me; Elicia a sweet daughter spoiled by her loving father. I usually came back from the hospital at sunset, when visiting hours where over and I was kicked out. I would have stayed at a hotel with Winry, but I had no money. And I was too proud to ask Ed.

Gracia immediately took a liking on me, surprising both Hughes and myself. She was delighted to learn I was an alchemist and very close to the brothers, which she had met before. She took me shopping and bought me different dresses and pants at my reluctance to touch the dresses. She asked me to help in the kitchen or go to the market. She was motherly and sweet towards me. In other words, she made me completely uncomfortable.

I never had to clean my room before, as we had had a house cleaner. I never went to the market since I had been secluded in the house as a child. My stepmother never cooked or even bothered to talk with me, and never took me shopping. She just brought the clothes and I had to wear them.

I was so uncomfortable with the big contrast between Gracia and everything that had been related to a motherly presence in my life. I didn't know how to take the kindness and warm feelings.

Elicia also loved me. After I had paid my bet to Hughes by telling her fairy tales from the other side of the Gate, she never left my side. She even started calling me Big Sis, as she did with Winry, and made me comb her hair and have tea with her. At first, I was startled and very uncomfortable, especially since Hughes was having the time of his life watching me squirm under the attention of his wife and daughter.

"Alette."

"Yes?" I asked turning my head towards Ed and saw he was standing near the bed.

"You seemed lost in thoughts."

"Uh…I was really wondering if I could diabetes anymore considering the amount of sugar I am consuming at Hughes' house. Gracia became aware of my love for chocolate. Perhaps I should tell her to make some apple pie and bring some over."

"Umm, that would be something; I am tired of hospital food."

-/-

Winry bought tickets for Dublith at Ed's request. I did not know how I felt about that besides slightly concerned. I knew I was going to face Izumi and mostly my involvement there would be revealed. Reason was telling me I had nothing to hide, yet my feelings were oddly biased. I did not want Ed to know about my actions there or me meeting his teacher...or worse about my betrayal as no matter what I said to myself, I saw even talking about Al's condition as a betrayal. I did know why I was surprised as I knew from the start that they were going to go there; the city told me itself the moment I first walked on its streets. Yet I was surprisingly apathetic to the whole situation. I felt as I should panic but the emotional distance that had been building since my talk with Ed was in a spiralling crescendo, numbing me from most things. Instead I spent my days and nights playing with my knife the only thing that remained after that experience. Beside some guilt and disgust that is.

On the outside I tried to maintain my calm and act naturally, a thing that put me in an uncomfortable position as I did not know what casual was. Beside the time with Dee I had no actual experience on how to act around people that actually wanted to speak with me. So I did a weird dance around sudden energy, childish outbursts that made me cringe on the inside, and periods of silence as I reverted back to my inward self. It took by surprise most people, including Ed, as he didn't know about my playful self. I didn't either, but I wasn't going to explain that. Al was more used to my odd self as many times at night we spent doing silly things.

The one I wasn't fooling was Maes. It wasn't just because he listened on me talking to Roy but because he was also very observant. And no matter how much he gushed over his family it did not make me feel less watched. Sometimes I met his eyes and he held mine with a similar hardness in them. In a way he understood me best...

"Alette!" My head snapped towards the voice. I had once again lost myself in the same spiral of thoughts I did every time this days. I looked towards Al becoming suddenly aware of my surroundings, the metal of the knife in my hand, the hard chair and how much my back ached from staying with my elbows resting on my knees for too long.

I looked towards his crescent holes where a dark fire lingered where his eyes were supposed to be. If I had problems looking actual people straight in the eyes that did not apply to sweet Al. I was always unnerved by the lack of actual orbs, yet their presence obvious behind his armour. The absent void was always so expressive trying to make for the lack of actual features.

"You zoned out again," he said much calmer. He was as usual sitting on the floor of Ed's room that in the past days got so crowded with visitors, his arms resting on his armoured legs. I had noticed how unconsciously I always made my way towards Al in a busy room sitting near him, just as I did now on the uncomfortable metal chair.

"Umm, yes I think I did. Sorry," I said scratching my head sheepishly. "I was just thinking..." At the end my voice faded as my attention turned inwards once again. Al watched me from his siting position, in a childish worry that hurt me on the inside with its purity. I was not worthy of such a look. I was pitiful being, a creature of the dark suddenly thrown in the sun's light.

"You do that quite a lot lately." A pause. "Brother also gets this intense look on his face every time he thinks too. It is kind of scary when you can see his mind working," his voice echoed. I listened carefully as it was one of the only times Al spoke of something else besides alchemy. "But when you think...you have the same concentrated look but it's different. It seems so lost to everything on the outside. Sometimes it is scary and I just wonder...if you went there. If you pushed too hard, and well...whether you'll come back."

I listened gobsmacked. And for a second I could almost feel myself starting to cry. But I did not. Instead I smiled.

"Aww you're so cute Al worrying for me like that," I gushed.

"I am not cute!" the boy in the suit of armour said. "Boys aren't supposed to be cute!" I chuckled.

"But whether something is supposed to be doesn't really mean anything, does it? And I think you're just so cute." And that he protested further and I could almost see him blushing. I listened to his complains, the void inside me wavering like fine thread ready to break, and perhaps for a second it hurt no more, a fluffy warmth enveloping my cold shell.

"Al." At that he stopped. I smiled softly, a genuine smile and I put my knife away. "Thank you." At that he watched me for a while before nodding and smiling.

"You're welcome."

-/-

"Eeeeed, stop moving," Winry exclaimed.

"I'm not moving woman stop bugging me!"

"Yes you are! How do you want me to check your arm one final time when you keep squirming like this?!"

"You're oiling it right now."

"Of course I am oiling it," she drawled. "You don't, and after that harsh treatment you still expect it to work properly."

"I do oil it," said Ed. "It's only that when I oil it everything becomes so sticky, especially my clothes." At the end he adverted his eyes, his voice running thin with each syllable. A blush started to creep on his pale skin, colouring his cheecks.

Winry stopped for a second and looked at his blond head, her piercing blue eyes set still. After a little she sighed and continued working in silence without muttering any complains this time.

I was a silent watcher to this scene of familiarity and understanding, and not for the first time I was reminded I did not really belong here. That no matter how much I tried, I was a stranger that could never give silent understanding and support. I was given a second chance of living but with what purpose? A question without answer; always without answer.

From my place in the bed I watched Winry work on Ed's arm. So young yet so talented. And as the image entered in my memory, so different from the ones I already had there from my side of the Gate, jealousy arose inside me as a bitter fire. I was never enough or talented. I was never there to help someone like that. No one who would have looked at my working hands, would have believed they are elegant, and that I was talented beyond my years of life. My eyes traced Ed's body, as the only garment of clothing on him were his hospital clothes. A body of a warrior, well-toned with so many scars marring his perfect skin. It was painful to look. I looked down to my hands and hatred bloomed in my soul. Truth made my skin flawless, or as much a human could reach flawless. But I hated it. It was just another reminder of my mask. I had to be as perfect as I looked, and even if I wasn't, who would believe a perfect looking being of ever being imperfect?

Suddenly, I wished for my stupid scars back, my fore arms, my palms, the cuts from falling when I was little, and the little moles. They were a map of my journey as were Ed's ugly dashes on his shoulder, and cuts all over his torso. I shunned those thoughts away as there was no need to dwell on impossible matters.

But what was possible was to get up and move towards Ed and Winry, take a can of oil and help them. I wanted to help, it was simple enough that I wasn't going to break anything…only that I didn't move. The urge was there, a desire to reach and help, as if through helping them I could be helping myself. But I didn't. Because it was not my place. Because Ed's maintenance has always been Winry's job, and would always be. And there were some things of intimacy a stranger like me would never understand or get allowed to do. One being this.

I watched Ed move instinctually when Winry leaned forward to do a repair, a move well practised and familiar. I was a stranger there. I watched the look of concentration on Winry's face and I suddenly understood where the similarity between us stood. I never considered myself alike her, but I was. I was in my own way as hopeless as she was regarding those two idiot brothers. Exactly the same, she did everything in her power to escape that pitiful state of insecurity, to be useful and helpful. Yet, she somehow forged a path for it…and I didn't. I never did escape my demons that clutched to me like a second skin. Was it because she loved?

What an interesting emotion, love. I have always read about it, yet never felt it. I felt it towards Ed and Al. I loved them. But I had never been in love with them. Winry was. You could tell where one ended and another resided, from the way she worked every screw in their places and tended to Ed's limbs. Was that the answer? Was the answer to devote yourself completely?

My mind was disgusted with the notion. It cannot be. And my purpose here was not to love. I knew Truth wanted me to do something. But I did not know what. I only had to remember what…

"Is it still hurting you when it's raining?" Winry asked in the silent room.

"Uhm. My nerves hurt and it aches pretty badly. Also it makes it harder to use, but nothing unusual."

"I wish I could do something about that…"

"…but as you had explained me countless of times it cannot be done." Winry exhaled deeply. "Win, it's okay, really. You did more than enough since that day…"

I wondered if Ed realised how much he let through one single word. Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable, so I snapped my book shut. Getting up I said, "I'll go check where Al went to hunt for food. I'll be back in a while."

They both murmured their agreement without really watching me leave the room briskly. No one did ever see me anyway.

-/-

"…and that's why you can't."

"Oh be serious. It is possible," Ed huffed.

"No, I am telling you that no form of alchemy is possible in our world."

"That's because you haven't thought of it! If you go back with your knowledge from now, maybe you'll change something…"

"Nope, I'm telling you shorty there is no way…" I realised my mistake only too late.

"I WILL TELL YOU WHO WILL BE SHORTENED BY A HEAD IF THEY KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT…YOU WHITE-WASHED PEA SIZED GIRL!"

"Brother perhaps you went a little too far…" Al interrupted. I instead abandoned all pretence of reading, concentrating my attention on Ed that had jumped off his bed and started pointing angrily at me. On the good side, I noted his wounds were getting better. On the other hand, I was struck speechless but what Ed said. My hand went to my white tips, as my mouth slacked open. And before I knew it I was laughing my arse off.

"Oh my God…I just…can't…" I muttered through my laughs. Looking up Ed was still pointing at me with his angriest look, making me laugh more. "White washed pea sized girl? Do you even realise we are the same height?"

"No, you are smaller!"

"By a centimetre!"

"Guys…"

"Oh, Elric when will you accept you are so short? Do I need to get kidnapped by a gang of homicidal people and return for you to accept that?!"

"I WILL NEVER ACCEPT BEING CALLED SHORT BY A MINIATURE STICK LIKE YOU!"

"Are you sure?! Do you want to go kid?"

That was the start of an alchemic fight that resulted in Al having to separate us by alchemizing cages. Well I got into a cage before I destroyed the room, while Ed got being tied to the bed. When Winry came with Hughes much later they were very surprised to find us being watched by an iron giant Al with stone set eyes lecturing us on public damaging and temper control.

Ed didn't speak with me until I returned the next day with Gracia's chocolate pudding.

-/-

"So you're finally out?" I leaned on the wood door with my shoulder, while I lifted my left leg on the wall, behind my right one.

"Finally!" Ed exclaimed. "I thought it was a never ending stay."

"Well you went running in buildings where alchemic researches on humans were being held." At that Ed stopped.

"Is there any point in discussing how you know?" At that I shrugged a shoulder before pointing a finger towards my head. "Did you forget? I know everything already. I just don't know it before you do. And even if I did…"

"…You wouldn't tell us. Got it."

"It is for your wellbeing Ed. How do you think I feel?"

"I just…I don't know everything when it comes to this… It's so complicated. I am surprised…"

"…That I didn't inquire before?" At that I sighed and entered the room completely closing the door behind me. I put down the basket of food from Gracia before siting myself on the bed next to Ed's open suitcase where many pairs of black clothing were visible.

"I knew already. So I did not need further explanations. My question is why didn't you? Nobody asked me where I went, or what have I done."

At that he stopped searching through his clothes, his eyes meeting mine.

"Would you have told me if I asked?" I wanted to think about the answer, but I already knew.

"No."

"Then there's your answer." Silence fell between us, a curtain of unspoken bitterness. I did want to speak about it, but I couldn't talk about Greed or what I was almost sure he was. I could not tell him that I hinted of Al uniqueness for a further gain. It sounded so merciless. But I was coming to terms with the idea that I did what I had to do without breaking any moral point. Roy had told me the same on the phone more or less.

"You know…when this is all over and Al and I get our bodies back you have to tell us everything from your part too. Because I bet is a hell lot more of a story.

I chuckled. "I think you imagine my help to your story. I am more of a burden."

At that Ed's eyes met mine. "Never say that. Not to say we will have to find a way to help you."

"Help me?"

"With your 'bond to the Gate' condition. We'll find a way to break it."

I stopped. Because his words truly made me speechless. And I realised I never had thought of breaking free of Truth, of the Gate or my old life. I never thought of escaping or finding a way out, only figuring out what he wanted me to help Ed with.

"I don't need fixing Edward. I am not broken. And my condition isn't something to be fixed."

"What do you mean? Are you crazy? Do you mean you plan on staying forever like this, with the threat of one day just being swooped there? With you not being able to the basic human activities? You are just like Al! You can't sleep or eat and are bound to that freak."

"Don't confound me with your brother Edward because I am not Al and my situation is not as dire." Realising the ice in my tone I stopped. "Look I am fine. I being stuck to the Gate is not an option yet because Truth needs me here. I need to be here, and I need his powers. And humanity isn't defined by sleeping or eating. I am as human as I have ever been and I don't think I want these chains broken. Al needs his body back but I don't since I already have a part of my own body. I can eat if I please. I just don't feel hunger anymore. I don't get tired to need to sleep. I am more powerful than my human self."

"So you are telling me you enjoy being like this?" he asked disgust evident in his voice. "Being at the mercy of it, just because you think you could help more? Because you are a better human? You are losing parts of your humanity because of this." At that I straightened myself as if I had been slapped. And I was hurt for the first time in so long from the only person I thought I wouldn't have to shield myself from. I was hurt and surprised, and a childish voice inside me was repeating a litany hollow 'whys'.

"And what about after? When all this is over and our journey is done, whenever that would be. If you are safe from Truth now, then you won't be. You can't die Alette, and you will spend your days either here or there. And I can't decide which is worse," he continued further, budging in through my cracked defences.

"There are worst thing than not dying Edward."

"Such as?"

"Dying itself when you had never been alive in the first place! Or being dead when you're still living! Solace in eternity sounds like a gift compared to these," I spat. I was surprised by the hurt and venom in my voice.

Edward watched me with wide eyes, the baggage long forgotten. Inside them I could see incredulousness, hurt, betrayal and even anger. But what surprised me was the fear.

"You are so unwilling to accept dying that you would risk an eternity there," he whispered. "Al doesn't remember but I do. I remember the Gate. I remember the fear, the pain and what that place feels like. If there is a hell that place is it. And you know it best. You risk going there if you close your eyes. How can you not understand? How can you accept?"

His words struck a chord in me once again. And as my eyes became misty with thoughts, my mind went to the Gate of Truth and Truth itself, and what that place meant. I could not lie to myself, I was terrified by it. Frightened to the point I felt my muscles constrict with the need to run, a blade of panic tearing in my chest making my breaths heavy and my heart made out of lead. I was such a good liar that I convinced myself. But was it not worth it at the same time? Power to protect what I had dear here?

I remembered Dee with glassy eyes looking beyond me, her orbs never able to recognise me again. And a new pain flashed through me. How could one not want power to prevent that? I never had so much in my entire life, and yet here, after death, I found it. And now I risked losing it. What a curse to care it was.

Ed looked in my eyes, and I saw his soften in understanding. I was surprised. How could he understand even a little these two different fears tearing through me?

"It is okay to be afraid…" but at that he stopped his words chocking him. And I was surprised to relate to Ed. His drive was in a way the same fear. The fear he would not be enough to save his brother or help him. The fear they would remain like that bound to that white hell. I watched his outfit, and then carefully dragged my eyes over mine. There was no white on either's clothes. And as I was broken shards of glass under a perfect skin, Ed was broken pieces mended together on the surface hiding the same inability to communicate. He always had to be strong, until strong was the only option left. But what burden this word meant.

We stayed like that eyes locked and thoughts unshared. But reality came back with a door sliding open and then the clanking of metal announcing the come of Al before his voice.

"Brother I…" But he stopped. He looked at us and when we finally looked at him I was surprised to see a similar understand reflecting in red orbs, a softness enveloping their ethereal glow.

"Is everything alright?" he asked his voice really soft. For a second I had forgotten I could speak so I only nodded mechanically. At that he nodded also, before entering the room and with big strides reaching us. And to my utter bafflement, Al did something I did not think he would ever do. Careful to his hard edges not to cut too deep in our soft skin, he hugged us both, his metal shell refreshing next to my skin. I thought that in other circumstances I could have felt his cold next to my skin. But I did not. And I did not ponder. Instead I just let myself feel.

-/-

"Don't go older sister!" Elicia cried, tears brimming in her deep green eyes. She had the colouring of her mother but she was without doubt Hughes' daughter.

I turned from the door my new backpack resting on my shoulders and crouched at her level. Ed and Al were waiting for me on the hallway as we had spent the night at Hughes. The only one left from our party was Winry which we had to take from the hotel nearby.

Elicia was clutching her forest green dress, her eyes set firmly on mine. I carefully patted her sandy locks, a thing I would not have done over a month ago. They were always so soft.

"But big sister has to go. I would be back," I said slowly on a calming voice I never thought I had the ability to muster.

"But who would take care of me at night and tell me the good stories!" she cried. I laughed. It seemed the classic Disney stories had effect on every girl from any world.

"Well I have told you so many until know. I am sure your mother could tell you some again. And think about that. When I come back I will have more stories to tell!"

"You promise you will?"

"Oh yes," I agreed.

"Indeed, we'll take care of your big sister, Alette, here to come back and tell you more stories," Al added.

"We promise we'll come too!" Ed intervened.

"And next time will bring Sister Winry too," I finally pledged.

Elicia looked unconvinced, her eyes darting behind to her mother that stood calm at little distance. At our childish display of promises she chuckled before nodding towards Elicia. At that she turned around to me, her big eyes meeting mind. Maes had every right to brag, she was more than cute.

"Fine. But you promise to come back. And bring the brothers too!"

"Of course! And I'll bring you chocolate too! But don't tell your mother," I whispered conspiratorially, pretending to tell a secret. At Elicia's serious nod everyone laughed.

"Here, take this," added Gracia offering me a basket. I looked inside it and I saw her famous apple pie. My eyes gleamed in anticipation, and I clutched the thing to my chest making Ed laugh.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Hughes. I will value this with my life." She laughed.

"Do so. And eat it. You never seem to eat anything, girl." I laughed while turning around to make my leave. Ed makes space for me to exit through and I jokingly slap his head making him pinch me in return. Childishly, I show him my tongue.

"Gracia, I just want to thank you for everything," I say after we're done fighting, with Al's guidance, of course.

"There is no problem. As Maes said earlier you are always welcome here. Please, any time you find yourself in Central come and visit. You all need to think of here as a second home." At that, I suddenly swallowed the knot in my throat. A second home I wanted to say, it was funny since I never had my first. Instead, I nodded feeling like a precarious leaf in the wind. But before I could move Gracia exited the house and enveloped me in a hug.

I froze. I got used to Al's metallic hugs. I got used to staying close to Ed. I got used to Riza's distant comfort. I even got used to Elicia clinginess. But no adult hugged me. Ever.

As she clutched me I realised that I wasn't that small compared to her. My mind clinically dissected everywhere her body touched mine, how the clothes felt, how warm she was, how tender and soft she was. It was unnerving me and making me feel very ungrateful, but the thing was I never understood the need for hugs. But for some reason I relaxed I let myself get closer and enjoy the feel of her hand in my hair.

"I know Maes had his reasons to be weary of you," she whispered in my ear, "but I don't regret him inviting you to join us. No matter what is different about you Alethea, you are not a bad person." And after another short squeeze, she released me.

It took me everything I had not to let tears roll over on my cheeks.

-/-

The hustle and bustle of the train station always got me. I couldn't understand how many people could be in one single place. Everyone rushing to their own destination not minding the others…it made you feel small. Also it was in favour to those that wanted to hijack trains, I remarked amused remembering.

Ed, Al, Winry and I marched through the platforms the little baggage we had with us. We got many strange looks between Ed's height and cloak, Winry's mechanical sound of her trunk…well Al, and my hair and odd accent.

But what I was thankful to the strangers in Amestris that no one seemed concerned with children walking around the country unsupervised.

I turned around glancing over my shoulder to my companions. It was a happy day of some sort. I was finally leaving with Edward in an adventure that had nothing to do with confusion or necessity. Yet, my heart was heavy as every step was taking me closure to my damnation, and I could not wonder just what I was doing so wrong. As we reached the train the wrongness increased squeezing my insides, making my stomach churn nauseated. This was wrong, all was wrong in much more complex way than my simple unwillingness of going to Dublith with the brothers.

So I did what I haven't done in a while, the thing that my body begged me not to. Releasing my hold onto the material world I let my eyes see on the inside and I was met again with the wall. Its impenetrable blackness made me uneasy but I needed the information that lay behind it. As I watched it closer, I saw something that made me shiver; tiny cracks all around the wall, almost invisible yet still there. Dread made my stomach churn; I did not want to ponder what that meant. Instead, I probed against the darkness, moving to towards breaking the nothing. I just knew I had to know.

On the outside, I was barely aware of my surroundings, the crowd disappearing. I knew I stopped in the middle of the pathway, people giving me weird looks, Edward asking me what was wrong and going more frantic with every second I looked at him with empty eyes. I paid no mind to any of it. Instead, my unseeing eyes watched. Then I hit the wall.

Instant pain sized me making me shiver, but as every time I got more used to it, thus I barely flinched at the shockwave. And I hit again. And again. I let desperation and helplessness envelope me, feed on my pain. With every hit I was in more miserable, until I could not hold it in anymore. So I flinched and almost collapsed right there but Ed caught me. I just pushed against him but I was just getting weaker with every second. I felt blood just a second before it ran from my nose, my hand moving through a fog to press against it. I was so close. Just a little further. And then agony compressed me, burnt me and I was no longer in a train station leaning on Ed but on a park alley.

I was in fuzzy state but I saw the cell phone both, I felt the pain and panic. Iron reached my nostrils, a smell I was getting used to. Blood, crimson in the night sky. And then a shot in the dark, red alchemical light and a scream. My scream joined it too, as I recognised the contour between shadows and dim light of a blue military uniform and a pair of glasses. A picture fell to the ground, happy lively green eyes, never to see the light again.

Images turned to darkness once more and the grey eye opened to me, the lifelessness inside it chilling me. It watched me and then the dark hands rushed forward tangling on my limbs, dragging me towards it. The darkness turned slowly to light as the dawn, the voices whispering in the dark for me to give up, their grip cold, slick and immaterial searing through me, marking me.

A sudden pain brought me back, the colours and light confusing me as I was still thought I was caught in darkness. I stared lost at Ed's panicked face and I realised I had to stop fighting, my limbs going limp in an instant. I realised Al was keeping me from squirming – no, fighting against them. Suddenly I was very material once again, the confusion lifting and reality snapping back in place with painful clarity. I was gasping for breath, my body betraying me with each gasp and shudder. I felt a cold sweat slicking on my back, the disgusting feeling making me shudder. But the uncomfortable feeling was the least of my worries as understanding dawned over me harder than I should have ever expected.

I realised Ed was shaking me more and more frantically. Gradually, my eyes focused on him horror contained deep within them.

"..te! Alette!" he almost yelled at me while turning me into a rag doll. Slightly annoyed with the feeling of being dismembered, I moved one of his hands away.

"Could you stop? I feel dirty already," I groaned trying to wipe the blood of my face. "When did this method work before?" I joked but I stopped at the intense feeling of relief painted across Ed's face. His eyes were wide and almost haughty looking in their intensity, his left arm still gripping mine. His head fell a little and I heard him mutter something under his breath. If I thought him to be religious in any manner I would have guessed he was thanking a deity. But he was Ed, and his worry for me worried me. But before I could add anything else, Winry's voice registered her tone fearful yet authoritative.

"What is wrong with her?! Al, tell me what is wrong for her!" That was when I lifted my head and I met her blue gaze. At the sight of me she stopped, but the lingering worry did not fade or waver. Surprised, I realised her eyes were unnaturally shiny. Gods, it was too much. The pity. The sympathy, the worry. Carefully, I disentangled from the brother's grasp and I carefully tried to raise myself. Steadily, I kept leaning on Al as I was not sure whether I would lose my balance or not.

"I'm sorry for worrying you all like this. But really," and I stopped to sniff my nose in an attempt to make it usable from the blood cog, "it is quite a normal occurrence this thing. Oh, thank you," I added relieved as Ed gave a handkerchief. Hastily, I whipped my nose but stopped at the sight of deep crimson on the immaculate white.

"But you're bleeding! And you collapsed! You are not ok!" Winry insisted her voice higher than usual, at the same time Ed exclaimed "Let the theatrics slide! You are not ok."

"Surprisingly, I am. This was by far one of the pleasant experiences, barely hurt actually," I answered Ed, "and it is part of my condition," I threw at Winry.

"What did you see," asked Al, the one that calm. I did not miss position next to me ready to catch me if I fell. At that my face turned grave. Sighing, I leaned forward towards my scattered backpack.

"There is a change of plans. I am not coming with you," I stated casually while I searched through my backpack thoroughly. The few items I gathered in my stay in Central were pathetic and useful. Yet, my mind was set with resolution as I searched for the one object I did not want to depart with.

"A vision really. Or a memory," I answered when they were ready to lash at me with impatience. Self-induced before you ask. I just had a feeling I needed to know something."

"I thought you'd be more careful with that considering the consequences for it," Ed remarked. I sighed. Yes, how could I forget Truth?

"Some things are more important. One of them is information. I would prefer an early death than to die under delusion or false information. Here," I tossed him a sharp pointy object from my backpack before he could object. As Ed caught the knife, I put it back on my shoulders and rose from the ground. Winry soundlessly offered me another handkerchief and I accepted it gracefully whipping my face clean from the remaining blood. I watched Ed inspect the fine crafted knife of his teacher, the Flamel Symbol etched in its handle. A really fine blade, obvious even for my inexperienced hands.

"What did you see?" Al persisted. I sighed at the attentive little brother.

"Danger. I need to do something...I...," my voice caught in my throat and for a second I was overwhelmed by fear and sadness, Maes' lifeless body in front of my eyes. It took every ounce in my body not to break down at the prospect. Maes the kind, cautious, intelligent man that valued family most, yet ready to welcome dangerous variables like me into his home. Maes that loved his daughter more than anything. Maes that loved his wife so deeply, one could see it from just from one touch. Maes that boiled me green tea when I said it reminded me of home…of Britain. That made me go shopping. That said my balance was off when playing with knives and attempting to teach me...Maes that I came to care so much for. I could not imagine the possibility of him dying. There was no way. I could not bear it. I could not, and with that realisation a deep resolution shattered the broken pieces of my soul with a desperate determination. I was not hopeless. I was sent here for this. I could not accept loss.

"Danger is coming to Central. I need to do something before the prospect of that future." I chose my words carefully prepared for a battle of wills. As expected Ed lashed.

"Then tell us what! We'll come with you..."

"No you cannot!" I yelled losing my composure. "Don't you see Ed?! That's the whole point! You ought not to know anything. You realise the thin treads of time? Please I can't mess this up there is too much at stake!" I cried out.

"That's the whole point you idiot! You needn't do that!"

"But I do Ed, can't you see?! There never was another option for me than alone! I have to do this."

"I never wanted you to sacrifice anything for my world!" he yelled back gripping the knife hard in his hand. I recoiled back as struck, the words hitting more than I would have expected.

"Brother!" Al exclaimed as Winry cried out "Ed," but it didn't matter. It was ok. I was just so sorry I burdened him with my selfish desire to be selfless for once.

"Fool," I whispered. "Who said I did not do it for myself." I watched his eyes widen with surprise and guilt, angry storms still ranging inside those golden orbs. His eyes would always be the death of me.

"Al," I turned around to the sensible brother. "Please do me one favour and look for that knife to reach its owner. Don't worry you'll know who that is," I added before he could ask. "Please, understand." I begged of him, turning to face him fully. Al had always been the quiet, reflexive one of the brothers. Because of that we hadn't many moments or contact besides comfortable silences. But looking in his eyes now I could understand why we got along so well. The red orbs of his soul contained in the armour watched me carefully, and I knew he assessed more than my words. It seemed he searched my whole soul and I tried to convey what I could not say. Finally, he nodded and I knew he understood at least something. Ed was more like me; Al conveyed parts of my soul.

"I will." In a sudden burst of sentimentalism I jumped on his hard armour, my hands coming around his neck and I hugged his unfeeling body. I did not know what had gotten into me; I just felt so small and lost and misunderstood, the burden heavier than I could carry. Guilt. Responsibility. His hands came around me the dents of armour scratching me lightly, and I stopped a sob on my throat at the finality of it all and the foreboding feelings.

"I'm sorry," I whispered around his ear knowing he'll get it. He drew back to watch my face but I just turned away to face once again a conflicted Ed.

His grip was still tight on the knife his watching me more carefully with indecision and suspicion.

"Please take care of that."

"Just what are you doing Alette?" he asked quietly.

"What I need."

"Bollocks," he swore making me cringe. "Please, I don't know what made you act so strange but let me help you."

"I'll be fine, Ed. I can handle this world." Totally, just after I had to rescue Maes from a Homunculus. Easy. Not scared at all. Seeing that he was ready to protest I jumped to his face and grabbed the top of his coat.

"Listen to me. No, really listen. You have a path ahead of you. It is particular you reach Dublith. You will do what you need. I am not that important so please don't be that stubborn. Believe me when I say you do not understand. Please stop your hero complex and do what is needed!"

"I'm not the bloody one trying to hide you away in the face of danger just to be safe! You have the hero complex!"

"That is not it," I yelled our faces inches apart. "You are the most capable person I know and I admire you deeply for that but you are not supposed to do this! I try to keep your world from crumbling apart, don't think it is about me or you. There is so much else. So many others."

"Have you thought that maybe you needn't do that? Keep the world from crumbling." I could only laugh bitterly.

"Many times. And I don't. I need to. For you. Even for myself. Please Ed try to understand without knowing!" He opened his mouth to say something when a voice stopped our sparring.

"Let her go, Ed," Winry said, resolution set on her voice. Surprised, I looked towards her. She was confused. And scared, that was certain. Her face pale, and her blue eyes big, her hands gripping tightly the handle of her luggage where she kept her automail utensils. But despite all that she was firm.

"Let her go, Ed." As he turned to fight her she interrupted him with a raised hand. "No, you don't understand right now. You can't understand. When you left it was always your adventures taking priority. Leaving me at home. You were always in the centre of the action, so you never contemplated the idea of staying on the side-lines. I did instead. So often, every day...since then. Always worrying and watching you go, without knowing anything or if you'll come back. It is helpless, and annoying, and hurtful. Yet necessary. I needed you to stay safe with me so many times, yet you never did because it was something else that was needed. Now you'll have to do this once to. Let her go with knowledge you'll worry and wonder, because it is what is needed to be done. I can't even begin to imagine what is happening here, but I understand at least this."

I stopped, frozen in my spot, flabbergasted by Winry's unusual outburst. Even Ed was struck speechless, his position losing some of its rigidity as his shoulders slumped a little forwards. I took this as a good time to move away from Ed as I suddenly became very uncomfortable with the proximity. That shifted his attention back from his childhood towards me once more, his confused eyes changing slowly to determined. I expected him to direct something towards me, instead he clenched his fists and bowed his head downwards.

"Winry. I…am sorry. For that. But you must understand…"

"I do understand, Ed. I do," she repeated her voice softening. "That's why you should also. I…am not sure of the right decision of circumstances, but I do trust Alette. And this looks urgent. So I will do this again and put my faith in others."

Her words coming from her soft voice made my throat clench. I couldn't. I could not deal with someone trusting me like this, believing in me like this. It was too much. The pressure of the imminent future became hard as lead over my shoulders, and I suddenly felt panic swell in my chest, gripping me with claw-like hands, tearing through me. How could I be enough for people that trusted me like this? I would not fail. I wasn't allowed to.

It was hard, but I turned my eyes towards Ed, an unfamiliar sting making them burn. "Ed…," I whispered, "I have to."

At that he clenched his teeth. "Like hell you do! Don't you get it, Alette?! It isn't that I don't trust you. It's that I think it is too much for you!" As he spoke he etched forwards as I slowly etched backwards in a perfect synchronised dance. "I see your struggle. And your pain! You try to hide it so hard, and yet at times you are transparent. This burden, it is not yours to carry alone! I could help. Al could help. If you would just let us! People here are important to us too! I don't care about you changing the future or destroying the timeline because the future was unknown from the beginning to me. I just care about you!"

The last part he almost yelled into my face. I didn't know he got so close, I just couldn't move my eyes from his. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to have him offer me something like that. People did not just care about me.

"Brother," Al interrupted, "I think you should calm down…"

"Excuse me?!" Ed yelled over his shoulder. "Don't you see…?"

"And Alette. I think you should listen to brother." I looked over Ed's shoulder until his orbs met mine. I imagined a serious, human Al, a boy Al, watching me with similar golden orbs, his features serious and dead set eyes. As my eyes stayed fixed on Al, I shook my head just barely. I could imagine him squint his eyes at me in his human image, getting my meaning, but not agreeing with it. But he was the calmer brother and I think he got part of my meaning.

"Al, please. Don't." My voice was soft, pleading. Immediately, Winry intervened forcefully, "Al, stop it is not your choice," her voice high and resolute. That demanded his attention, giving me the opportunity to break eye contact. My heart was throbbing with every beat. It wasn't fair to be offered so much support and yet to be unable to accept it. I imagined Truth's satisfied grin and hate brew inside me. I was sure he enjoyed my anguish. I was so sure on how he disregard us petty humans. I was sure how he enjoyed my struggle and my stupid attempt to change fate. I remembered his empty promise that I would have a chance to change things next time. How could I have missed his meaning? He was just a sadist, every gift and opportunity from him a poison.

And I was just running out of time. It was already getting late, the sun's rays not even visible on the dark hallway the brothers hid me into. The sun was setting. And every passing moment was bringing Maes closer to his confrontation. The HQ was all across Central. I did not have time for this!

Carefully, I turned around not wanting to alarm Ed of my intentions, but I merely made a few steps with my back to him when a strong grip grabbed my wrist almost painfully. I looked backwards and I saw Ed looking at me with once again set eyes. I looked downwards at his gloved hand that gripped mine so tightly. Even covered by his white glove I could tell it was his automail, and not just from the artificial ridges and sharp edges. With his glove on you could never have guessed. It looked human like, the white only a few shades lighter than my own skin. Paper. Both artificial and fragile.

"Alette. Don't." I looked up into his eyes, and instead of fury or determination, the auric eyes were pleading. They were so pretty; molten glass, alive and fiery, sun's rays put in being. Slowly, I smiled. It was an honest smile, a small one, so rare from me, yet so comfortable. Dee always made me smile like that. When I saw him relax a little, I let a grin form.

"I am sorry." And with that I dematerialised, my hand disappearing from his, until nothing but air was left.

-/-

In a dark alley in Central, two children and a suit of armour stood unmoving. The feelings in the air varied from anger to amazement, and even confusion. If one were to move and pass by them it would have considered it queer to see them as still as they were, one blonde boy with an outstretched hand, his fingers vaguely curled around as if he had been holding something. One could say he had been too surprised to let his hand relax. But no one could guess why his eyes looked fearful as they traced a pattern on the floor. Barely visible to an untrained eye but still there: small white currents, like small thunders and sparks, barely visible, tracing and moving through an unseen track.

-/-

I did not have times to wonder at the immaterial feeling of the inside of the white roads. I did not stay to analyse how I was feeling to only exist, yet to be able to move. I did not think of the million different possibilities of turns and twists. My mind was focused on two things only: getting away and then getting out. Apparently, one did not need much to navigate through the white mess, as I moved automatically barely processing the turns and twists I took. My mind- or body - moved through it all, swiftly without any hesitations, as I had done this so many times before and it was only logical to know the way.

I had been surprised when it worked. I didn't know what took over me as to think this was the best way to escape Ed's pleas, but I had to admit it was the fastest. At first I was too concentrated on the possibility that it wouldn't work until the familiar tug washed over me, the lightness, the decomposing as I let myself get into one of the lines I was standing on. It was weird to feel lose the sense of touch, Ed's hand not touching mine anymore as I became more transparent until I vanished.

But I did not have time. I was aware of my surroundings on the outside and I knew I was still in the Central train station, moving between people, railways and platforms. It was almost amusing how unware others were. My amusement died down as I focused on one purpose: finding somewhere secluded to become material again. I did not think the townsfolks would appreciate random girls appearing from the pavement.

I only had the thought when I felt myself moving towards the sides of the transition, until I realised I was somewhere as secluded as the previous thoroughfare in which I fought with the brothers. I banished all thoughts of my friends from my mind before pushing myself against the white wall of the tunnel, feeling the white wall give away to my touch, letting me break it in two to form an exit. And suddenly I felt myself oozing forward, my body gaining weight and feeling clumsy, becoming material and solid, until I felt myself standing next to a wall.

I was surprised to find myself panting and it took me a second to get used to the feel of my body. I was confused. The first time when I had become a spirit like being when running from Greed, it all had been instinct, I had been barely aware. The second time it was something like childlike glee. I did not understand this power or what it meant. I was sure it had to do with the Gate. I had spent many nights pondering and analysing this but I could not come with a definite answer as I ran into different kinds of walls in my mind. I was sure it had to do with alchemy itself somehow, as the principle of alchemy derived from my Gate Alchemy. The usage of the lines, it was clear that it belonged to me only, probably just another proof of my connection to him. How far gone was I already when I had first started using them?

I shook my head. I had to concentrate. Looking around the corner I saw an opening in the sea of people and I started running.

I ran. I didn't know for how long. I just knew I entered in a state where the only thing that mattered was pushing ahead. I moved through streets I have never walked through before, I squeezed myself through unknowing people, being rude. But I had to move. Central was a round city, it was logical that by going ahead you'll reach the centre right? Well, not. After running out of breath from mindless running through Central, I stopped and actually thought. What was my plan? Never before had I done any miscalculated move without widely analysing the consequences and possibilities. Since coming to Amestris I acted like a mindless, impulsive fool, controlled by emotions. Was that how it felt to care for others? Them always coming first? Going in a frenzy when they were in danger? I absolutely hated it. I stopped and I closed my eyes. I had no money and by the time I reached HQ I would be panicked, tired and too late. Maes was going to be attacked not until sundown. Which was not so far off. I had no money as I was still dependable on cocky alchemists' funds. Thankfully my backpack stayed with me, but I only had change. Not enough for a cab, but enough for a phone call. Useless as I did not know the inside code for Central and Roy was too far off. So, I had to move.

I looked downwards at the dirty pavement frustration etching my features. I had to be fast not hesitate like a bloody lost child…And the solution came to me at once. This time I barely thought in between seeing and actually getting inside the lines. I paid no mind to my discomfort and I focused only on my destination. And I moved. Or slid. Certainly was that I was leaving behind the alleys fast.

I wanted to let my mind wonder on the singularity of the path I was taking, as it seemed everything aligned with my final purpose. I haven't seen much of Central, a pity for the beautiful city it was, so I was definitely lost, only in this form only, in this moment only, I wasn't lost, knowing with a certainty I have never felt before. So I let myself flow, and move, painless and fast, almost beautiful in its own right, my immaterial body flourishing with the strength of my spirit. That was right. I did not have time to despair. If I kept going like this I would make it in time. I would reach the HQ before the sun set. I was going to warn Hughes and all would be al...

The thought was never finished. Before I realised what was happening, the world around me shook and crashed with painful clarity, the walls dissolving around myself, and before I had time to react I was material again, rolling around on the hard pavement. It appeared that the speed I was going at inside the lines kept pushing me forward again and again, my body becoming more battered and bruised with each hard contact with the concrete. Finally, I stopped rolling and a shaky breath left my lips. Slowly, I opened my eyes, the images moving in shaky circles before I realised I was facing upwards, the orange sky mocking me with its darkening colour.

"What the fuck…," I rasped out as I attempted to move only to have every inch of my body protest. My shoulder cracked in protest and it took me a few times only to get me in a sitting position, most of my muscles aching painfully. What just happened? Ignoring my protesting body I turned around and looked over my shoulder; no, it didn't look like there had been anything to stop me from going further, I was just in a different alley after all.

I turned back around and repeating a mantra of 'it will pass' I raised myself from the pavement and looked around. I was in a different place…but from the look of the buildings on the main street not so far to say I was close to the Central HQ. Why did this happen? The only occurrence like this had been once before in Dublith…No, I did not have time to explain this. Ignoring the other questions forming in my mind, I closed my eyes and concentrated before opening them…only that I did not find my desirable result. I closed again and concentrated all my will on making the lines appear, but after I opened my eyes again nothing happened.

"Fuck."

-/-

It turned out that eventually, I did have time to think about the sudden loss of power as I continued my journey throughout Central. The first times the lines appeared back, I was so surprised I almost fell once more, only a little after the last of my visible bruises disappeared. Immediately, I took my chance and jumped into them, only to have myself pushed out once more after another portion of the road. More confused than ever, I continued the journey for a while by foot only to repeat the action as soon as the lines returned on my field of vision. After that I came up with a theory: the lines being a consequences of my connection with Truth turned around as I didn't use too much of the connection flowing inside me. The same with Gate Alchemy, because the connection was incomplete, the ability was rendered useless as I used it too often. Thus, I was suddenly expelled from my 'soul' form and I had to do my journey by foot on the periods of 'reset'. Thankfully, the ability wasn't as power costly as the Alchemy itself so I had no limit on the many times I could use it in a discontinuous form. As I paid more attention I realised the ratio between the max distance I could cover that way, in how long, that being more than 500 meters in about 8.3 minutes or about 1 meter per second, with a reset period of 10 minutes in between. By quickly calculating, that meant I could reach the approximate distance of 3km to the Central HQ in about an hour if I kept going with my 'lines' speed. The problem came that when I was in my human form I was undoing most of my advance by mindlessly running since I did not know the right direction and at times I was going the wrong way.

Considering all this I was more than desperate when the sky turned in a blue velvet curtain, lampposts giving the streets an eerie light. A beautiful, serene scenery, completely at odds with my panting-self running through the streets without paying any mind to any civilians. As I was finally reached the Central building, its high form visible to my eyes, I realised that I did not know how to find Hughes in time or how to reach him to warn him before he discovered whatever made them furious. My almost still heart was beating erratically in my chest as I gave up using the lines and started a full blown sprint across the pavement. Curiously, a part of me realised how empty this central zone of Central was at night, the one very close to the HQ. The other sense were yelling me to think and form a plan, when the pain hit making me stop and lean painfully on the nearest wall, my right shoulder hitting it with a loud thud. I wasn't sure if any painful exclamation left my lips, before I was sucked into the images forming in my mind, much clearer this time. I saw Hughes in a dark room I frequented myself quite often; a library from Central. The scene shifted as he fought the woman. Lust, resonated in my mind. I could almost feel myself yell in frustration as Maes gave up the line inside the HQ, and even if injured he continued his way outside. Tress, grass…benches…The Park in front of the HQ's main entrance. I have spent a few days there with Winry, Gracia and Elicia. I ignored the pain that came with the imminent ending of the memory and I pushed forward until I could see Hughes reaching inside a booth, forming numbers in a telephone…and then a voice.

With a yell I broke free of the memory, as blood spilled inside my mouth. I ignored the coppery taste, or how I felt I would choke on it. Instead I started a sprint, this time in another direction altogether. Buildings slowly left my side as I entered an opening and crossed the Park's boundaries, concrete giving up for gravel, my boots making a crunching sound with every forceful step I took. As I ran images of Hughes invaded my mind. The hard Lieutenant that cared so much for his friends that took in his hands to help the alien child. The perfect, loving father he was for Elicia. The loving husband he was or Gracia. The kind man that at times made me tea at night when neither of us could sleep and I exchanged my stories for his. Without realising fragmented words of a litany left my lips with every shaky breath, my legs pushing faster and faster through slippery grass and mud. The biggest park in Central. 'Faster.' I knew how surprised I was the first time I've seen it. Hughes had been there too.

'Faster.'

Elicia was running around but something on my face made her come back and hug my legs.

'One corner. Faster.'

Maes only laughed and brought his daughter up in the air in a hug. It was so sweet it almost made me smile. Before I knew it though, he put his other arm around me bringing me into a group hug. I was too surprised to protest, eventually relaxing at the feel of their hands on me. I remember seeing from behind Maes' shoulder a phone booth and thinking it reminded me of London. Right around…

"Here," I wanted to yell but the word was nothing more but a whisper from my lips as I took the last corner the phone booth in both my memories coming in sight. I didn't realise the speed of my run so as soon as I turned the corner I had to stop with a slight slide on the alley, my boots gridding over small stones and pebbles making only the slightest of sounds.

But it was enough for the figure with the gun to turn around to look at me. As it turned the light filtered through the trees shadowing it, making its features visible. Light brown hair and forest green eyes that had none of the motherly gaze I knew. 'How cruel', ran through my mind. An imposter wearing Gracia's skin. What kind of monster could do that?

"Oh? And who are you?" it asked me. I did not answer my eyes on the gun that was firm pointed towards the booth.

"I could ask you the same," I said, my voice once more calm. I thanked Truth in my mind for my inhuman senses that made my body recover from a sprint like that in a way no human could.

"Alette?" I heard a rasped voice.

"Hughes?" I almost yelled. At his grunted swear I could only mutter a "Thank God."

"What are you doing here?!" he yelled, his voice muffled by the black phone booth.

"Oh, so you know each other?" the imposter asked. "Interesting." His voice had an amused tone to it. I frowned.

"Alethea, don't you dare stay here! Run, this isn't Gracia!" I heard Hughes voice yell. The thing scowled at his words, his face turning into a mask of anger and malice as he looked towards Hughes. The rest happened in seconds. I was looking at the thing, my mind trying to understand what to do when I heard a very familiar click of the gun getting cocked. Before I knew what was happening, my body acted on its own, my hand touching the alley with a loud slap before the alchemic light followed a trail, one singular spike piercing his extended hand. The light sparkles haven't died down as the gun fell with a thud metres away, the creature yelling in pain as its red blood splattered everywhere.

"You bitch," it howled, but I could not answer its words as he suddenly kicked the spike breaking free its hand from it. As the stone crumbled down, red sparkles shone around its hand before the bleeding stopped and the horrible wound closed. My breath hiked in both fear from its angered face, a mask of pure hate, as well as realisation.

"Homunculus," I whispered the last pieces of the puzzle falling into place in my mind. The idea was there most of the time but with this evident display the barrage of memory broke free, images flooding my mind. Apparently, it was loud enough for it to hear as it stopped in its tracks to look at me with an odd look on his face. I cringed at it, as it was still wearing Gracia's face, the kind features deformed grotesquely in this masks of unaltered darkness.

"Oh? You know about me? And what I am?" it asked, its voice back to dangerously pleasant.

"Show your real face you coward!" I answered in return. "You are not Gracia. Stop pretending to be and show your real face, shapeshifter!"

At that he grinned, a smile lacking amusement completely, filled with hate. "As you wish, Alchemist."

The only other Homunculus I've met had been Greed. I have seen him regenerate from my stab, and even some of his Ultimate Shield. But no matter how much I thought I knew about these creatures nothing was like seeing it yourself. So I watched in curious horror as the skin fragmented in short bits - alchemic disintegration - I corrected myself, as red surfaced from under the skin. Lightening and sparks shook the surface of the skin, changing and moulding it, leaving behind their wake a colour much lighter with an inhuman consistency to it. Slowly, I watched the clothes shrink and disappear as feminine features gave away to muscles. I could not move a muscle as the creature slowly turned and I was as surprised as it when a knife flashed towards him, almost stabbing him. The creature dodged it with a jump, as Hughes exited the phone booth leaning on it for support, his breaths fast, and a hand tight on his side. I let out a shocked gasp as I saw the crimson soak through the blue uniform, blue turning to a sick purple and white smearing into a far richer colour.

"Stand back! This creature is very dangerous," he yelled.

"Oh? Am I know? And to think you're the rude one attacking me when I'm showing off," the voice said and I turned seeing the last of his features form. My first reaction was shock. It wasn't just a 'him' it was a very young him, a few years older than me. His lean body contained hard muscles uncovered by his dark pieces of clothing. As he raised himself my eyes were drawn to the wide mane of green spikes from his hair, earning him chuckle from my part. A name surfaced in my mind as well as many pine tree jokes as blue met purple surrounding a dark slit.

"I know exactly what he is," I responded with a tinge of humour in my voice. "He is a Homunculus. The one with shapeshifting powers."

As Maes turned his eyes to me surprised muttering the word after me the Homunculus spoke.

"So you do know what I am. Who are you alchemist, and what's your involvement in this?" he asked leaning forward. I only smirked towards him as Maes asked.

"He is the one Ed fought against at the 5th Laboratory."

"Indeed," I answered. "He goes by the name of Envy." At that both of them flashed me with degrees of different shock. Envy was set aback by me mentioning his name, while Maes flashed me a questioning look. As I raised myself to my full height I gave the smallest of nods. He must have guessed how I knew.

"Such an ugly emotion, isn't it. Envy, I mean. I have to wonder why would want to be called after such a sin." I felt the tiniest flicker of fear combined with amusement as Envy snarled at me in response.

"You little bitch! I don't know who you are and why you're here but you'll die alongside this bastard here! Stupid humans mending in affairs far beyond their reach!"

"You will not get away with it," Maes said. "I figured it out, others will come."

"Idiot," Envy singsonged. "Do you think you're the first to get rid of? I will have your head on a spike either from me or by Wrath's order."

I tried not to let my confusion show as information just out of my grasp dwelled at the side of the black wall. I did not know what Maes figured out but it must have been pretty important if they wanted him dead. I tried to gulp down emotions letting an emotionless wall fall into place. Later, I promised to myself.

As Envy made the slightest gesture towards Maes I moved myself closer, his eyes drawing back towards me.

"And I am here to prevent that. You won't touch him," I said deadpan.

"And who would stop me?" Envy asked amused as Maes yelled "Fool!"

"I will." With that I let white take over my vision as night faded slowly away as my concentration moved towards the white lines. I let my eyes follow them slowly imaging power slip through me inside them, curling towards a specific spot before unleashing itself.

"Stop, you idiot. You know what will happen if you use that!" Maes yelled towards me. My eyes met his and I let a small smile play on my lips.

"You know what will happen if I don't."

"Ugh, why are you all such dramatic fools? 'No, don't use that.' 'For you is worth it.' Don't make me laugh. You humans are so…pitiful," Envy spat. "Always doing something for the good of others. And you know what happens every time?" As he spoke he dangled on his heels up and down, in a jumping motion, as disgust turned to anger and amusement, his eyes two gleaming lights hid by his long green locks. "It is never enough," he whispered before he moved.

I did not follow him as he sprung forward, my body blocking his fist on instinct, the impact making me wince with the pain of it. I had no chance in a physical fight, I realised immediately as pain shook through my bones making me almost lose balance. No matter how many human adversaries I fought before none compared to the blows of a Homunculus.

The next move was as fast, I barely managing to block it over my head with my forearm. With a crack I felt my small bone crush at the hard impact the pain of it making me gasp. Envy laughed as he pivoted and kicked me aside like a rag doll making me collide painfully with the asphalt. Air was expelled painfully from my lungs, as my ribcage crushed them, a painful gasp being the only sickening sound in response to the crushing pain. With a few roll overs, I finally stopped and I heard the steps before my vision cleared enough to see Hughes limp over towards me. So kind of Envy to throw me in his direction.

"What was that before? Using it? Pathetic human, you have no battle skill and yet you pretend of being a match to me? The runt had class, at least. He was interesting. You both are pathetic."

Maes leaned over me as I gasped painfully. I felt my eyes water with pain and I raised myself slowly. I looked down towards my left arm and I felt my stomach churn in disgust at its unnatural form and angle.

"What did you think you were doing charging like that stupid?" Maes admonished me almost breathless. We were running out of time. "Now you're also hurt badly!"

I closed my eyes and bit my lip cursing the gods and the pain in my arm. As I stood I felt dizzy and breathed in. What were we to do? Envy was in front of us his expression of pleasure at the sight of his struggling pain. I was hurt. How could I manage to run with this injury? I concentrated inside cursing and thinking, painfully biting into my lip. I was no match for him. If only I could have enough energy to make a run for it for both of us. If only…If only…I felt frustration and anger rise inside me. What did that bastard Truth think? How could have sent me against creature like this when I was so pitiful! So what if I could not die? Maes was human, and Edward was human, and Roy, as everyone else! Curse him, and curse my inability! Damn him…that…

"Bastard!" I yelled. At that Envy stopped talking. "Shut the fuck up, you bastard, looking down on us! So what if I'm hurt?! So what if I die?! I don't care if you break all my bones and burn my limbs if that means I can keep you busy long enough for Maes to escape. You bastard killing us as you wish for your plan! You think you're superior?! You have no value for life, which makes you inferior to it!" As I yelled Envy looked grimmer with every word, his fingers curling into two fists.

"So tell me then Alchemist? How does the flow of this world work? Does the stupid farmer pity the cow? Does the spider ponder on the feelings of its pray? Idiot. You know nothing. The inferior would always be inferior as they were made that way no feelings can change that."

I looked at him, my eyes burning with hatred before turning towards Maes that was watching him just as intently. As he sensed my look he glanced downwards towards me. I did not see hate in them. I saw anger. Even desperation. But mostly they were accepting and pleading. Pleading me to go. And that was what made me snap. That such a kind man was set to a fate so ruthless because he had been so smart and the 'superior' decided he was in their way. Because he had a family and was such a hero and glorious human being. And hatred toward this world so cruel where fates like this existed, made me snap. Without realising I had been holding back, I felt a dam break into my mind. I did not know what it was or what it meant, I only felt the white flow become unconfined, spreading towards my limbs. Closing my eyes for a second I let it spread, my bangs covering my face for a moment as I let the unsettling calm take over me.

Just like that I redirected the power towards my left hand, letting it connect and heal, the pain easing from my arm slowly as I felt the bone fall back in its place. Just then I opened my eyes at Envy. I did not know what my eyes showed but I saw his surprise. And that was all there was to see after the words left my lips.

"Watch me."

Time stopped as I let my right leg slip backwards, giving me access to swing my left hand towards the pavement. Immediately white sparks followed it and I only had time to admire Envy's look of surprise before dozen of spike shot out on the place where he was. He dodged fats, but I expected that and caught him with another set of longer spikes mid-jump. As he fell backwards from surprise and from the hit in his lower abdomen that had already started to heal, I sprinted into the lines. In an instant I was beside him, his looks of surprise registering in my mind before my fist made contact with his face hard. He didn't have time to dodge it but prepared for the next hit, but taking advantage of his imbalance I shot my leg out kicking him hard on the healing part of his abdomen. In the same instant I let energy flow through the leg still on the ground, spikes appearing on the side he was falling towards. As they pierced him he screamed, hard concrete piercing his skin painfully leaving behind disgusting bleeding wounds. I did not have to admire my handiwork as he broke free tearing half of his skin with that move and swung a fist towards my face. I did not have time to completely dodge it and it sent me flying backwards many yards, making me roll up and down through the grass as I felt my jaw and right arm set on fire by the pain of the hit.

Still, I stopped rolling and jumped backwards in a shabby fighting stance, only in time to see Envy move towards Maes, him being the closest to him now. As he avoided Maes knives thrown at him I realised that if he punched him he would die. He was already losing loads of blood and a hit like that would only make him collapse. I didn't know how I did it or why. I only knew that the sight started a forest fire inside me and before I knew my palms snapped against each other tight. An energy formed with my gesture, volatile and uncontrollable, an entity on its own, restless to be left outside. Slowly, my right hand was extended with three fingers held together very still. I only had time to breathe before I laid my eyes on the charging homunculus. And then I snapped. If I were an outsider I would have registered how loud the snap was or how for a few seconds it seemed like a large spark formed on the tip of my fingers. And then I was thrown back with the power of the explosion, orange illuminating the night, unleashed flames burning and extending, scorching everything in their wake. I did not see what happened as I was blown backwards from the uncontrolled use of Flame Alchemy, but I heard an earth shattering scream followed by a sickening smell of burnt and disintegrating almost making me gag. Immediately, I lifted myself and saw Maes on his side, glasses askew, watching a burning Envy with his mouth wide open. As I turned my eyes towards the burning homunculus I saw a sight that made me churn. The creature there was one of nightmares, raw burning flesh with patches of darker burnt skin. Red sparks soared all around it as it continued to scream and heal. On an instinctive move against my shocked senses, I slapped my hands together once more before yelling.

"Maes get the hell out of there," I rasped my throat raw, and again I extended my hand and I snapped. This time I looked the creature in the eye as I let the inferno burn towards it. I barely found the violet orbs in the burnt remained of its face, recognisable from the hands gripping it painfully. Our eyes met and for a second I saw a new emotions behind the wall of anger and pain. Fear. Barely there, and it was soon erased by the fire enveloping the form once more, screams shattering my ears with the deepest pain. I didn't lose time as I bolted towards Maes, immediately being at his side.

"Can you run," I yelled over the noise to snap his attention towards me. It took him a second for the words to register behind his confused eyes, before he nodded. Eagerly, I moved his arm around me before turning around once more towards the burning form. I saw it already healing and swore under my breath as I recognised his moves as an attempt to come towards us. Again I snapped my hands in a prayer form before unleashing a new inferno towards the pitiful homunculus on the pavement, scorch marks around it.

Without missing a beat I turned towards Maes and urged him to move with me. In a half jog we left the park, the screams becoming fainter and fainter with every alley turn and then corners. We only made it a little further until I felt Maes started to collapse against me, pulling me down with him. I did not have to brace for the fall as he stumbled on his legs, his back hitting a wall of a building. He let a grunt and our eyes met once before he started slipping down the wall, his legs buckling under him. As fast as I could I scrambled up and tried to hold how much of him as I could but the pain and his weight made me unable to do nothing more than help him slide smoothly. As I leaned over him I could see in the street light how pale he was and panic kicked in as I realised how much blood he must've lost. Fast, I started undoing his buttons my fingers unsteady. My right hand was burning with the aftermath of the flames and I was so concentrated on undoing the fancy golden buttons of his military vest that when a hand touched my right on I hissed in pain and jumped backwards. Thankfully Hughes, even with being this weak had a good grip on me not letting me fall. I looked up at him and saw his green eyes were slightly dull. At that realisation panic became more intense making me fight against his grip.

"What are you doing," I hissed as I fought against his hand, my eyes never leaving his. "I must take a look at that wound, you're losing too much blood."

He shook his head weakly. "Idiot. Stop being so resistant!" I yelled. To which he shook his hand again before forcing some words from his lips.

"Your…arm…" I looked at him in confusion before glancing downwards. 'Oh' was my main thought at seeing what had become of my right arm. Red, tender flesh covered it as if I got burnt myself. As I looked at it Maes let my hand go, the flow of blood making it almost cold with the searing pain. It pulsated, and if I had to guess it was a third degree burn. I felt my stomach churn at the sight of disgusting, contorted flesh before my eyes towards Maes. I knew this was a risk from Roy's research. That was one of the main reasons he did the sparks with his gloves, that beside the fact that he could not achieve a controllable flame without the circle. The user could get as hurt by the intensity of the spark as the target. It had a special passage in the book he gave me, in a scrawled writing on how he got hurt and supported the use of gloves.

"It doesn't matter. Let me take care of you," I said firmly before continuing my work. This time he didn't stop me and I moved fast through the buttons revealing the white shirt under it. Or what should have been a white shirt since now it was a crimson puddle, making the fabric stick on his skin.

"Shit." I muttered as I gave up on trying to take the coat of and concentrating I snapped the fabric open with alchemy.

"Roy used…to get hands like that…all the time," he gasped. "Back in Ishbal. I did not know…he…taught you Flame Alchemy."

"More like I ambushed him with Riza on my side and demanded to be taught," I answered distractedly as I was snapping his white shirt open. Maes chuckled before gasping.

"You must go."

"No way," I answered as I finally got to see the bleeding wound. I had to bite my tongue not to flinch at the sight of it. There were three large pierces on his skins from which the blood continued to flow from with a small leakage. His pants and shirt were imbed in it, and it just kept bleeding. My breath shook with the realisation of it and fear invaded my sense. No, no, no, no.

A voice snapped me out of my shock. "Alethea." I looked up to see Maes watching me intently. "Go." Before I started to protest he cut me off instead. "I am a soldier, Alethea. Injuries like this don't heal or regress. I am mostly done for….I…The Homunculus will come once more after us. You have to run. The military isn't safe. You must stay away from it…I found out…"

"You are not dying Maes Hughes!" I yelled. "I won't let you die. Not when I can stop it. I won't allow it. I…" and to my surprise my voice broke. I did not realise my eyes started watering until that moment, but a different pain ached inside my chest, much more powerful than any cut or burn. And once more I was in a pool of blood on the side of the road with someone I cared for in my arms dying. Without meaning to I let out a sniff, followed by a hiccup followed by a strangled cry. No, this could not be happening.

Maes watched me, his eyes turning from decided to soft and he lifted a shaky arm. Without me realising his intention he brought it up towards my face and wiped a single tear I did not know I shed.

"Don't cry. You must go."

"No," I shook my head before saying louder again. "No! I can't leave you like this! I can't let all this be in vain. You have a loving daughter and wife. And Ed and Roy they will be devastated. You are too important to even accept the thought! I… I can't let you die!"

"Shh. It's okay. All is okay," he said while wiping my cheeks from tears I did not feel. "I am a soldier, Alethea. And this might be my last mission for this country. You must listen to me. The whole world is in danger."

At his words I could not hold it back, my eyes becoming foggy with tears a full wail leaving my lips. "No! If this country is in danger do it yourself to save it! And I will save you for it!" My voice was strangled, and my tears stopped me from seeing Maes. I knew his green eyes were on me though with that pitifully accepting look! My heart bled and cracked once more, air chocking my lungs, blood poisoning my veins. I could not let this be a failure. I could not let Maes die! I could not live when another person die because of my inability. I broke free of his hands, and between shaky breaths I lounged to his side my arms making a makeshift bandage with his bloody shirt. I had to think.

"Alethea! Listen to me!"

"No! You listen to me!" I yelled. "I do not know why I am alive at all. I never thought when I was given the option to live. I just thought something is better than anything!" With every word my speech became jumbled and my breaths harder, denser. My hands started shaking with a knowing fear and I felt as my mind receded in front of the storm coming. I did not know how long it had been since I've thought of my panic attacks but I felt it starting to claw at the back of my head for control. I battled it with everything I had, trying to keep logical and in control but my body was starting to fail me as it shook in pain with unwanted tremors.

"But I am alive. And I knew of this night for a reason." My words spilled chucked from my lips and I drew a shaky breath trying to smile between my nervousness and quivering lips. "And I will do everything I can to restore you back to your family. It is not fair otherwise. Now please let me try!" More tears spilled from my eyes and I finally saw the look in Maes' eyes. He was watching me intently, patient with emotion that shouldn't be present in dying people. Where was the fight and the hate? Where was the frustration with the injustice of it all?! Why the acceptance? As I looked at him I saw him barely nod. That was all I needed before I concentrated my attention towards his wounds. I was no doctor but I thought of methods off sealing the wound. I didn't have time for a makeshift needle, and sealing it with fire after so much blood loss it could mean him not waking up. Instead, I turned inwards.

'Please', I begged. 'If you hear me please. I will give you anything in return. I would give out my soul, my life, anything I have left of my resistance just give me the power to save him! I am begging you,' I yelled into the void. My heart was twisting and aching in my soul and my hands were numb with a different kind of pain but instead I looked up and smiled before turning my attention to the wound. And I let the light take control.

Slowly everything became white and I felt an ethereal cold grip me that changed into warmth, and finally into a peaceful feeling. I did not fight it, instead I jumped into it, letting it take control over me spread into my limbs. I begged it to take my soul or take my life, to make the pain go away, to make his wound go away, to dissolve the responsibility and guilt, the panic and desperation. And slowly they faded away, slipping from me until I was barred from all emotion except a feeling of finality. As I opened my eyes I looked at the punctures and slowly I lifted my hands over them. As the blood touched my skin, turning it crimson, droplets surging through my fingers, invading, changing, I felt Maes' intake a shaky breath. I did not pay any mind to it instead I let the calmness settle over me. The blood seemed fire against my colder skin, and slowly I started imagining a new set of lines. This time they should be smaller, fainter, a web of life clinging on Maes' body. I imagined pushing inside that pattern the white light burning inside me. That was right, it was my alchemy plunging deep into his body, still under my control. I imagined it constricting the vessels around the wounds, closing them. I thought of the tissue and cells around the area regenerating, the deep cuts inside them slowly fading away as new emerged, replacing, closing, and uniting. I willed my power to move around the area, to replace and become the missing parts. I imagined the process of uniting the lost ties in both parts, filling the hole with healthy, alive tissue and veins, the bleeding stopping.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and my breath hitched as I saw both my palms surrounded by a small white glow. I felt the power squirming under my hands and I willed my mind to concentrate on the task at hand. It was a slow transfer, a force inside me going inside him and becoming part of his own life force. As I looked around upwards from my work towards Maes' body I saw a pattern of light on his skin. A beautiful web, connected and interconnected around him, glowing with each beat of his heart, alive through his spirit and will. It was an eerie breath-taking sight, something more than mortal. I looked back at my hands and saw the broken ends of the pattern slowly coming back together under the dim glow of my hands, lines coming alive and moving towards their broken ends until they became a whole once more, disrupting it no more.

Inch by inch, I felt the force opposing me fall back, until it was no more. I maintained my concentration only a little more to be sure before I stopped the flow inside me. As it retreated back towards an inner space inside me, my hands became ordinary once more. Carefully, I lifted them and my breath hitched at the sight. The bleeding wounds were no more. Instead, on the place of the holes, pink new tissue took their place. Amazed I let my fingers move over them, almost fearful I was imagining the closed wounds. They didn't disappear, the skin feeling smooth and unperturbed. If it weren't for its raw aspect I would have never guessed were they were. Hesitantly, I lifted my eyes towards Maes. He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide watching me. Neither of us spoke, our eyes expressing in a quiet way the fear and amazement. I didn't know what to say, with every second passing the calm feeling disappearing as I was becoming more and more aware of my physical and emotional state.

"Does it hurt?" I rasped out breathless. Maes only shook his head briefly. At that I let myself fall limp, the muscles of my back protesting in pain.

"What was that?" finally Maes found his voice. I shrugged helpless for a second before responding.

"I am not sure. Perhaps Truth," I joked lamely. Still Maes watched me with big wide eyes.

"I felt you. Not your touch. But you. As a presence. I don't know what that was." I looked at him surprised. In a way I was surprised and afraid myself of what I've done. But wasn't that what I begged for? What was the point of getting stupid and making a big deal of this?

"Can you get up?" I asked instead.

"Barely. I lost too much blood."

I looked around us. We were not in the main street per se but we weren't in an alley either. Anyway, we were clearly in the open. I did not know what state Envy was in but with every second I felt like every part of my body were to fail under its own weight.

"Where is the MP anyway? I burnt a man in front of the HQ's doors," I wondered aloud and Maes chuckled bitterly while raising himself in a standing position.

"Perhaps they ordered them not to intervene. I said before we are in deep shit." I chuckled at the crude language coming from Maes before starting to raise myself. Before I knew my chuckle turned into giggles and I was full blown laughing. As I laughed Maes watched me surprised, and at his look I laughed harder until tears were in my eyes once more and I was laughing and crying, deepest fears and sorrow combined with a giddy feeling of being alive. Maes chuckled at my sight before coming forward slowly towards me. I looked downwards at myself and saw that the T-Shirt I was wearing and shorts were full of blood, my right hand still a withered mess. But I could not stop the deep emotions in my heart as I was struck speechless by them. How could such extremes exist in one body and not kill it? Before I knew it, I was sobbing and giggling letting fear get the best of me. As Maes came forward he extended a hand towards my crouched self. Carefully, I took it, sniffing my nose. Maes slowly pulled me on my feet and without wanting to, I lunged forward and gave him the quickest hug ever. Because he was alive. Because I saved him. Because his death wasn't on me. Because Elicia would still have her daddy.

As I drew back to look at him I gave him the smallest of smiles. But as he turned the corner of his mouth to small in return I saw his eyes widen. I wanted to ask what was wrong and then I felt it. The smallest trickle of blood, running down from my nose, over my lips, a single droplet touching the ground with an almost inaudible sound. And before I knew pain struck me, and I bending over puking blood. It was everywhere chocking me, coming out of me through my nose and mouth in a painful fall. With every gag my legs felt heavier, and soon enough they buckled under my weight bringing me to the ground. It hurt when I fell to my four legs. It wasn't pleasant. But it was nothing compared to the burning in my body. It felt like every particle wanted to break apart from it, fire and ice, moulding me through their will. I heard distantly Maes yell my name, and soon he was down too keeping the hair away from my face. Where did all this blood come from? How much blood could one person have?

I tried to assure him through gags that I was fine but my words were strangled and incoherent, only mere grunts of pain. I wanted to yell. I wanted to stab myself and draw every droplet of my cursed blood out so it would not hurt anymore.

Eventually it stopped leaving me a dry, painful mess, pitiful gags and spasm still racking my body. Everything hurt and feel apart, and we did not have time for this!

"We …have…to…move!" I ragged between coughs and I could not look at Maes but I felt him nod before he lifted me upwards. I could not help the cry of pain leaving my lips as all my bones cracked. I wanted to try and beg him to leave me alone. Instead, I pushed forward and took one shaky step before Maes caught me. I almost yelled in pain and frustration, and before I knew it I took another step. And another. We were leaving the street through the alley. I had no idea where were we going and I could not think about that as all my thoughts stopped to one singular idea: pain.

I wanted to ask to stop and form a plan. I wanted to beg for a reprise. I only pushed forward step by step. We walked like that a few turns into the back alleys, having to stop at times for me to draw my breath. I knew Maes was not out of the woods either and I could feel with every step his move falter with both our weights. What were we going to do? Where were we going? My mind was turning off gradually, complex thoughts disappearing, leaving me a walking, empty shell.

That's how they found us.

I did not realise there was someone standing at the next corner of the alley. I did not see her until her voice broke through my hazy consciousness, her words full of malice, assured by the imminent victory. It took a second for my eyes to register her, and even more to recognise her. She only seemed more amused by my sudden realisation.

"Pitiful beings, indeed," Lust said with distaste as she watched us struggle. My body reacted on its own. Without thinking I stepped forward breaking free of Maes' help, stumbling forward barely catching the wall to my right. Slowly, I lifted my arm and pressed it against. I only felt the smallest flickers of power enter it and move forward and the result was more than pathetic. Lust only had to move aside to dodge the small spikes that appeared in her left. The problem was the small use of power made me gag once more and start puking blood. Still I held my position and tried to see between my sweaty hairs as I felt it poor from me in painful turns.

"Pathetic," she laughed. "Was this the human that beat you like that, Envy?" At the name I turned around, the world spinning with me and saw Envy pinning Maes by the neck on the wall. His expression was somewhere between murderous and crazed as he watched me with what could only be defined as happy malice.

"Yes. She is the little pest. Though she wasn't quite as haggard before."

I ignored both of them, my eyes desperate set on Maes and his pitiful attempts to, break free. Envy was unfazed by his hands clawing uselessly at his arm, his kicks not quite reaching him, as his face turned from an ashen white to a red.

"Maes," I croaked, my voice barely audible, as I tried to straighten myself, to fight. That resulted in a new wave of crippling pain and nausea before I started spilling more blood, accompanied by pitiful sounds of pain. My whole body shook in pain, my legs begging me to let go, my muscles sending weak prayers of mercy. I ignored it all taking a shaky step forward moving my hand to use alchemy. But there was no power left in me and the only result was in me almost falling on my face.

Envy watched me with a look of disgust on his face before he yelled over my shoulder. "Oi, Lust what do I do with this one?" he said before wiggling a still struggling Maes. Anger filled my veins. What were we to them to treat us like this? With this one? That is a human being, I wanted to yell. Instead only a growl left my lips. Desperation clawed inside my ribcage with a force I never knew I owned. The pain of near death, the survival instinct were killing me fighting a losing battle against so many opponents. Looking at Envy holding Maes victoriously I almost felt tears of shame in my eyes while just one word repeated itself in my mind: why? Why would it end like this? What was the meaning of this? How could this be after all I tried? Why was fate so cruel?

"Don't kill him yet. We need a plan to cover this mess or Wrath will kill us." Envy watched her bored for a minute before crashing Maes once against the wall. He growled in pain, yet he stopped struggling, going limp against Envy's hold.

"Oops," he joked, before he let him slide down with a thud, not paying attention to his body, before turning towards me and laughing.

At that I felt tears leave my eyes. This….This was so much worse. I felt disgusted and annoyed by everything. I felt desperate. I felt so angry. I felt so much pain. But seeing Maes treated like that, the turn of that great, kind man into that careless heap, mistreated without any humanity? That made me lose it and pushed my legs forward, a choked scream leaving my lips. I remembered Maes, the smiling Maes, the kind Maes, the father Maes, the friend Maes, the husband Maes, the human Maes, and then I looked at him on the concrete of some random alley, his body looking less than human with its paleness and stillness, a new wound bleeding from his temple. Maes, the one that offered me a home when he hated me. Maes the one that was fascinated by my world even though he had never seen it.

So I screamed. I screamed with the injustice of it all as I stumbled forward in my own broken carcass because it was not fair that in this world people could be treated like this. That people this great could fall so badly despite every effort. That there were beings that could treat others like this and merely shrug it and say they were the better species. That any plan could mean this kind of detachment. That despite everything I tried I could not save him! That he was going to die and I begged Truth to help me save him!

I launched myself forward desperate, crying, and screaming and almost falling, the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Envy just smiled, happy, satisfied relinquishing my despair before merely moving aside mockingly. I moved again. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to show him why things like that could not happen! Why he was wrong! Hate and pain were burning inside me, merging, killing every last cell in my body with their fire, while desperation poured on it all!

"Bastard!" I chocked. "BASTARD!"

He just laughed while moving aside once more. This time I felt my body fall, but before I could a shout in surprise a searing feeling ran through my lower back before it burst into agony. I screamed as I felt the three deadly pierces through me holding me upright as I was pulled downwards by my weak body. I fought against them, only resulting in pushing them forward inside me, cutting deeper and deeper.

"Don't play with the lower life forms, Envy," said Lust as she approached.

"Oh, but I won't play with this one! I will kill her and show her what happens when you look down on a Homunculus!"

"You're pathetic," Lust said almost bored. "She's dead anyway. Come before Gluttony gets hungry and eats the Lieutenant. We must decide how to cover this." As she said that I felt with the sharp claws retreat fast from me making me suffocate on my own breath from the sudden pain, before I fell in a limp mess on the pavement. I felt Lust move around me and talk to someone about carrying Maes, but I could not distinguish words. The only thing I could concentrate on was the sharp pain that every flow of my blood brought forth, the sickening feel of it pouring outside of me in a steady flow, clutching on my skin and shirt, enveloping me in a puddle. The only think I could think of was the sickening sound I made with every intake of breath, the rasp feeling on my throat, the sudden pressure in my chest, as a lead weight constricted it. I could not think. And I could not move. It was the closest to hell I have ever felt, alimented only by the feelings raging inside me.

As I was struggling like that I heard some steps around me, and before I knew it Envy was crouched down next to me, his face in a maniacal glee at my struggle.

"What was that human? That I should watch you? Because I am!" he yelled moving his hands around dramatically. "And you know what? I am seeing just a pathetic, stupid, creature, begging me to be killed so it could escape its misery." At that he closed the distance between us until his face loomed over mine, our breaths merging out together, the purple of his irises the only colour left in my world. "But you know what?" he whispered in my face. "If it were for me I would torture you for days. I would break every bone and burn all your limbs until you thought death was your best daydream, until you forgot the name of your mother and father. You know how it feels to be burnt alive you bitch?!" he suddenly hissed with malice before shoving his fingers in one of the wounds made by Lust. I yelled, or tried to as I choked on another wave of blood in my mouth, the pain feeling almost like a burn ripping my skin apart.

"I don't know how or what you know about us, or where you got your little skill but it does not matter anymore does it? Since you'll be dead anyway right?" He moved his hand again to push it deeper into my stomach. I yelled in agony, the world disappearing. I did not exist anymore. I did not think, or hear, or breathe, and only vaguely in the distance I heard Lust say something, and Envy yelling back to her to let him check something. The only thing that existed was the feeling of intrusion, and the pain. Oh, the pain. Ripping, clawing, burning, cutting and every painful sensation I have ever felt combined. So I yelled until my voice cracked and even then, because it hurt beyond the realm of any existence.

And slowly the pain faded into a continuous throb. And I felt myself take breaths like a drowning man finding oxygen only to realise that breathing it made it only hurt more than suffocating. I wanted to cry and weep like a wounded animal but that would've hurt too much. Instead I stood caught in the limbo created by pain as I regained my senses slowly, one by one, like emerging from underwater.

"…re sure? I am telling you they're not going that deep!" Envy yelled next to me.

"I am sure I know how I pierced her. You've seen her yourself. There's no way my Ultimate Spear didn't go all the way through her back and stomach."

"…this….make sense."

As my vision came back I saw Envy crouched next to me looking over his shoulder. Then Lust came forward with a bigger form behind here. I did not comprehend what they were talking. I just wanted to be left alone to die.

"…one way to find out." Envy moved aside and Lust moved closer. I watched almost in fascination as a black spear went all the way to my right arm. It was amusing at least since I did not even register the pain. And when I did…

My hand snapped back on instinct only burying it further into my bone. I could feel the touch of it sectioning my muscles, the friction of it on my bare bone making it the worst sensation of my life. Without wanting to I felt a small jolt of power go through my hand at that spot. It was not powerful at all but it probably surprised Lust because she moved her spear away in an instant. I did not care for their words or plan as I looked at the gauge in my arm. My stomach churned at the sight of tissue and fat and bone all dissected into a disgusting mess in my arm. I did not want to look. I could not look. It was a nightmare and horrible and I wanted to rip my arm off so I could not see that disgusting thing that usually stood hidden under a layer of skin. I did not know if I was screaming but I was sure my mind was.

I did not know how long I stood like that in those levels of pain, feeling blood poor from me, wanting to scream and puke, staring in horror fascination at my wound until Envy snapped my arm away, the force of the move budging my head to the side. I did not even mind the pain as I was spared by the sight of my own arm cut open. I was only repeating words of welcome when my mind tuned out to their words.

"…healed."

"Doesn't make sense."

"We…stay…here."

"Fine."

I did not know what happened, but suddenly I felt my head moved forcefully. My teeth rattled with the force of it, and I barely registered that a hand was keeping my head straight, my eyes looking into Envy's purple orbs.

"Guess what human. This is your lucky night. You're coming with us after all."

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A.N. Let me start this with a thank you for my new followers. Also I deeply thank anyone that reviewed/followed/favourited this story. And thank you for your patience.

This is the other half of Chapter 19 (count after the name of the chapter not the ff.n number for it). I wanted to post them together but this part was already too big in Word anyway (over 30 pages) so I cut in half. It leaves off in the same atmosphere and place from the last chapter.

Also this ends in a cliffie. I am not sorry for it but I have to tell you the story will get more darker for the next chapter(s). I think I mentioned it once that the calm and dialogue will not last. Anyway I will have to think about changing the rating after this even if I don't personally consider anything I am planning to write an M. For those who wonder I will not go too far with the chapters but they will not be pleasant. In any case, if I need to I will post this chapters integral on my AO3 and leave here a milder version.

Also I want to give a special thanks to Lisahthefox. Thank you so, so, so much for your kind words of support and short review. Really you can't imagine how much this means to me, especially since these are the only words of encouragement I've got in the last...months. Anyway, this chapter was posted tonight because of your kind support. Because of that I am dedicating this chapter to you for giving me a push to correct it for posting. Thank you.