Chapter 21

Jamie did his best to shield Erin and himself from the pouring rain as they stood in front of her building. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, the showers progressing into a full fledged thunderstorm as the evening bore on.

"I think I found them," Erin fished for her keys inside her bag. "Here they are!"

"Hey no hurry. I mean, we're pretty much soaked already," Jamie said, tossing the wet newspaper into the trash can. "It didn't help that our umbrella gave out on us earlier either."

Erin pushed the front door of her building open. She led Jamie upstairs to her loft, both of them leaving a trail of water behind them. "And here we are," she began unlocking her door. "Don't mind the mess."

Jamie proceeded to enter Erin's place, taking in what he saw before him. It was simple at best, noting that she didn't own anything extravagant. In his eyes, Erin lived a typical college student's life, getting by on whatever was on hand. As he stood in place, he suddenly became embarrassed, noticing how he was leaving a puddle of water on the floor due to his drenched clothing.

"Sorry," Jamie laughed. "I seem to be leaving a puddle of water on your nice floor."

"Don't worry about it," Erin walked into her bathroom and grabbed two towels. She tossed one toward Jamie who caught it. "Might as well dry off, shouldn't we?"

"We should."

"And umm… also change out of these wet clothes," Erin was drying her hair with the towel.

"It sounds like a great idea but there seems to be just one problem."

"What?"

"You may be able to change but I can't," Jamie refrained from sitting down on her couch. "I don't have any extra clothes on me."

Erin smiled at Jamie. "I can fix that problem. Just give me a minute and I will be right back," she disappeared into her room, shutting the door.

Jamie raised his eyebrows at Erin, wondering what she was up to. He couldn't help but feel attracted to her. There was something about Erin that drew him to her and he still couldn't figure out why. Perhaps it was her personality or maybe it was her wit. Jamie reflected on the time he spent with her so far and realized that maybe it was also her smile that fueled his attraction. Yet, whatever it was, Jamie was definitely falling head over heels for her.

"Hey," Erin called out from behind him. She was now wearing dark brown track pants and a sleeveless shirt. She tossed him a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "You can wear those while your clothes dry. Go and change in my room."

"Alright," he nodded. "Be right back."

A minute later, Jamie came back into the living room donning the sweat pants Erin had loaned him along with the Princeton t-shirt which seemed to fit him perfectly. He was holding his wet clothes along with his socks, wondering where he would leave them.

"Here, let me hang those in the bathroom." Erin took the wet clothes. "I took the liberty of ordering us some pizza. Hope that is okay with you," she shouted from the bathroom.

"Sure, that's cool," he sat down on her couch, waiting for her to join him.

"You look different without the hat," Erin came back to the living room. She handed him a can of soda as she sat down.

Jamie opened the can before answering. "Well, I can't exactly wear it while my hair is wet. But for you, I decided to comb it back," he grinned. "I only realized now how long my hair is. Maybe I do need a trim."

"Trim, whatever… I like you hair any which way you wear it."

"Oh," Jamie loved the sneaky way she was flirting with him. "So you wouldn't mind if I got it cut?"

Erin played around with the thought for a second. "I'd miss being able to play with your hair but I can deal," she smiled. "You'll probably want to get it cut soon. It gets really humid here in the city during the summer."

"You think?"

"No, I know."

Jamie brought his hand to Erin's face, brushing away some stray blond hair from her eyes. "That was some walk in the park we took," he let his hand linger on her cheek for another second. "Who would have thought that the skies would just open up on us."

"But you have to admit, you had fun right?" Erin took a sip of her soda.

"Yeah, I did," Jamie bowed his head and laughed. "I haven't done anything like that since I was a kid. Okay wait, maybe not too long ago… Maggie dragged me into the rain last summer."

"You're really close with Maggie huh?"

"We're close, yeah," he nodded. "But we're more like a brother-sister close kind of thing. She watches my back and I watch hers."

"Good deal…" Erin replied. "Sounds like you have yourself a really cool friend."

"She's been looking out for me for a while now. Especially last summer, when I got involved with her cousin, Babe," Jamie sighed, wondering how she was doing. It had been a couple of months since Babe had left town.

Erin could see the lament in Jamie's eyes. She could tell that he still held a torch for this Babe girl that was mentioned a brief moment ago. "Let me guess, you fell for her didn't you?"

When Jamie didn't reply, she simply took that as a yes.

"It's sort of complicated," he replied.

"Well do you want to talk about it?"

"There's too much to talk about. We might be up all night."

"I don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon," Erin took a quick glance at the window. "It's pouring outside and your clothes are still drying. So if we have to stay up all night, then we will. I mean, what better way to get to know each other."

Jamie was about to answer when someone knocked at the door. "Looks like the pizza is here. Do you need any cash?"

"No I got it," Erin got up from the couch. "My treat. You are my guest after all," she winked at him before running to the door.

An hour managed to pass as the two of them ate the pizza. Neither of them realized how hungry they were until the pizza itself had arrived and was devoured. Both of them were sitting on the floor now with the empty pizza box in front of them with satisfied looks on their faces.

"Now that was good," Jamie rubbed his stomach, leaning back against the couch. "What is it about New York pizza that makes it so good?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself," Erin replied. "So tell me more about Babe."

"There really isn't much to tell," Jamie took a sip of soda. "She's no longer in my life and I told myself I needed to move on."

"So where is she?"

"Babe, her son and her mother are now in San Diego. They had to leave town after the whole baby mess unfolded or rather was revealed. Again, long story that I really don't want to get into," he ran his fingers through his hair. "Babe and Bianca used to be best friends until Bianca found out how Babe was keeping her presumed dead daughter from her. There's a lot that's happened in my life in the past year. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot."

"So humor me," she snuggled closer to him. "We do have all night."

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Anywhere, your choice."

Jamie's eyes focused away from Erin as he began to recall the recent events of his life. This was the first time he found himself really reflecting on what had happened and everything he put his parents through. Needless to say, this time he was spending with Erin right now was becoming a little bit of an eye opening experience for him.

"I spent the last few months on the run with Babe and her son," Jamie began. "This whole baby mess not only included Bianca's daughter, it also included Babe's son, the one she thought died in a helicopter crash almost a year ago. I won't go into all the details because it's just one long horrid story filled with lies and me almost getting killed but what I will tell you is that she changed my life in more ways than one."

Erin rolled her eyes, still leaning against Jamie. "Where have I heard that line before?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping Baby James away from JR, his biological father and also Babe's husband or ex, whatever. But as the time on the run wore on, my conscience was kicking in," he continued. "I tried to ignore it for a long while but one day, things just kinda blew up. I forget how we were lured back to Pine Valley but once we got home, Babe, James and I, it wasn't a pretty sight."

"So the welcome wagon wasn't rolled out. What did you expect to happen?"

"Well, to put it lightly, Babe wasn't really welcome back in Pine Valley. So she wanted to flee again and this time she wanted to leave for good. Babe wanted me to go with her and her son, James to San Diego where we would all start a new life as a family," Jamie still remembered that night. It was still as clear as day in his head.

"Jamie, we need to go," Babe pleaded. "I told you being back in this town wasn't going to do us any good."

"Babe, I don't understand," Jamie sat down on the couch. He was cradling James in his arms. "You got what you wanted, your son. JR willingly let you have custody of James and now you don't even want to stay in Pine Valley?"

Babe came over to Jamie and sat down next to him. She stroked the top of her son's head, looking into Jamie's eyes at the same time. "No one accepts me here. Everywhere I go, I get these looks. It's like I'm the town pariah."

Jamie stood up from the couch and walked over to James' crib. He placed the baby boy down gently, covering him with the blanket before turning to face Babe. "Give it time. Everyone will have to get over it sooner or later."

"Time? Jamie, I don't think anyone will be forgiving Mama and I anytime soon."

Jamie ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't know how to respond to her knowing that what she was saying was indeed true. Even he was still on a road of forgiveness, especially now, as he was still working on earning the trust of his mother back.

"So then what do you suggest we do Babe?"

"Come to San Diego with me," she replied. "I mean it… you, me and James. We can start ourselves a new life and all. Clean slate."

Jamie nearly spit out the water he was drinking but managed to swallow it in time. "You want to leave town again? Babe, no… I can't do that. I can't just up and leave everyone here. No."

"Why not? You did it before, you can do it again," Babe wanted to stand firm on her suggestion. She was determined to win this battle with him.

"Because when we left town the first time, we had intentions of coming back some day. Yes I know it didn't go as planned but now that I am back home, now that we are back home, I can't leave."

"I don't understand," she watched as Jamie came closer to her, sitting back down on the couch. "Tell me why you're choosing everyone else over me and your son, James."

"Because Babe, as much as I care about you, I just can't up and leave again," he sighed. "My whole life, everything I know is right here in Pine Valley. James is your son, not mine. He may have felt like it and you gave me the opportunity to be the father he needed but I can't just leave everyone else here, my father, my mother, my friends."

"So I see, you're picking them over me."

"No, it's not that," Jamie tried to find a way to rationalize with Babe. "It's just that I have this feeling in my gut that I'm needed here. I can't say why but it's like there's something out there telling me not to leave."

Babe sighed. She knew how dedicated Jamie was to his family and friends and she couldn't blame him for not wanting to leave Pine Valley. After all, it was his home and never really hers. Pine Valley only became her home by name because of JR. And now that he wasn't in her life anymore and still trying to deal with the fallout with Bianca, there wasn't much reason to stay in town anymore.

"I'm going to miss you," she ran her hand against his cheek. "James is going to miss you too. But I understand how you can't leave. Your life is here, your home is here."

"So you get what I'm trying to say?" Jamie looked back at Babe. "How I can't leave again."

Reluctantly she nodded. "Yes, I do."

"And she left town a week later," Jamie sighed. The flashback in his head played out completely as he recalled it for Erin, bit by bit. "She didn't issue any ultimatums but in the end she understood. And then I told mysef that I needed to move on."

"Whoa," Erin didn't even know what to say.

"Told you it was long and complicated," Jamie got up from the floor and sat on the couch. He motioned for Erin to join him. "Babe was a huge part of my life this past year and honestly, having her in it did force me to grow up a little bit." His eyes focused away once again.

Not wanting to resist, Erin joined Jamie, nestling herself in his strong arms. "I could really get used to this," she smiled. "Hey are you okay?" She noticed how quiet Jamie had gotten in the past couple of minutes. "I'm sorry if I brought up a sore spot before."

"What huh?" Jamie shook his head. "I'm sorry, my mind just drifted off for a second."

"Really Jamie, I wanna know what you're thinking about."

"I was umm… I was just thinking about a lot of stuff, my dad, my brother, Maggie," he looked down at her. "What you're wearing reminded of Maggie. She's got a similar pair of track pants."

"Ah okay," Erin nodded. "Your brother?"

"More like step brother," Jamie corrected. "Once again, it's just another part of my complicated life. I grew up with JR and at one point my father and his mother were married. So it was only natural that we thought of each other as brothers, even if we weren't related by blood." He paused before continuing, "The past year has been crazy for us but now we're on some road to reconnecting as brothers, especially now that Babe is out of both our lives."

"And I thought my life was complicated," Erin sat up. "You got me beat."

Jamie raised his eyebrows with interest. This couldn't have been a more perfect time to find out more about the girl who was sitting in front of him. After all, he still didn't know much about her. "So, now that I've poured my heart out, it's your turn. Tell me more about you."

"Me?" she pointed at herself. "You don't want to know about me."

"Oh come on," he pouted with his puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

Erin sat silent for a moment. She suddenly had a feeling of reluctance come over her. This was the first time someone had ever asked about her life. As she looked into Jamie's eyes, the reluctance to share began to fade. Something inside of her knew that she could trust Jamie with whatever she said.

"If you don't want to, it's okay," Jamie was trying to apologize.

"No wait, I want to,"

"You want to?"

"More like I need to," Erin bowed her head. "It will make me less of a mystery and I think things will work out better for us if you knew more about me."

"Only if you feel like it," Jamie leaned forward and grabbed his can of soda. "I don't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do."

"You're probably wondering how it came to be that I'm living here in New York. I mean, after all, do I come off as a native New Yorker to you?" Erin leaned back on the opposite end of the couch.

"Honestly, I haven't been here too long, so you could have fooled me," Jamie laughed. "Fine, how about we start with basics and then you can take it from there. Go any which way to want. Got any brothers or sisters?"

"Three brothers, all older. I'm the youngest of the bunch and the only girl," she replied.

"Sounds like a big family. I take it you had a lot of protectors?" Jamie wondered.

"Not really," Erin answered. "Two of those brothers I barely even know. I was still really young when they both walked out of my life. It's the youngest brother who I know so well and he knows me well too."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jamie didn't know how to reply. "I mean about your older brothers, the ones who weren't a part of your life. But hey, at least you still had one more, right?"

Erin sighed. She hoped that she didn't have to bring up her childhood but it almost seemed unavoidable at this point. It only made sense now that she continued since the topic was on the table already.

"My childhood, how I grew up… it wasn't all green grass or the white picket fence kind of childhood you're picturing," she looked down at her hands. "It was nothing like that, in fact it was the total and complete opposite. My father was drunk, a monster to put it lightly and my mother and brother were his victims. He woud hit them… a lot and it still pains my heart to even think about it now."

"Erin, seriously, if this is too much for you, you don't have to tell me," Jamie could see the pain in her eyes. He could also hear it in her voice.

There were no tears on Erin's face, only a slight tinge of anger was evident as she continued to pour her heart out to Jamie. "I don't think he ever meant to do it, to hit them but the one thing was that… he never laid a hand on me. Not once, but I think it had more to do with my brother wanting to protect me from it all. He always told me to just stay out of the way, to stay in my room and not to come out until he said it was okay." She continued to lament on her past. "But you know, as much as I love my brother for protecting me, I wished he hadn't."

A puzzling look came across Jamie's face. "Why? I mean, you're saying that you'd rather you got beaten than your own brother protecting you? It's quite obvious how much he loved you."

"Yeah, I know he loves me and I love him, but Jamie… sometimes the sins of the father are visited upon the son. Ever heard of that saying?"

"I know it all too well. JR was like that but he managed to change. He still found the goodness in his heart."

"My brother, yes he's still got some good in his heart too but at the same time… I wished he'd come to realize how he is so much like our father. That no matter how much he tries deny it, he can't come to terms with that fact. It's almost like he's created this alternate reality in his life, one where he's striving so much to undo any of the bad stuff that happened to him. I've come to terms that the way we grew up wasn't our fault. That my two older brothers leaving the family wasn't our fault but somehow he blames them for everything that's happened to us and the way we grew up. It's like he can't let go of that pain or resentment. I found a way to get past it, I'm still hoping that someday he can."

"Your brother, he's harboring a lot of pain isn't he?" Jamie didn't want to pry but somehow everything that Erin was telling him struck a chord. It was triggering something in the back of his mind but he couldn't pinpoint it.

"Don't get me wrong, I love my brother but sometimes he scares me. Or rather, I'm scared for him. I'm scared that one day he'll go too far and not realize that he's got the same kind of short fuse our father had."

"Sounds like he needs some help."

"Yes and I hope that where ever he is living now, he's realizng that fact. I'm hoping that he's managed to start a life where the ghosts of his past haven't come back to haunt him."

"Do you still talk to him?" Jamie asked.

"Not really, well we've tried to maintain some sort of contact but it hasn't been working too well. I mean, we write each other from time to time but lately, I've gotten so busy with school that I've fallen behind."

"Well, you should give it a try… I mean, if this were my brother, I'd want to at least see if he was doing okay. In respect to everything you've told me that is."

"Yeah you're right," Erin replied. She was startled by a crack of thunder outside her window, causing her to jump into Jamie's arms. "Sorry, these storms kind of scare the bejeezus out of me sometimes," she laughed, realizing what she had just done.

"Hey no worries. I'm not going anywhere," Jamie smiled. Another crack of thunder occurred this time causing the lights to suddenly go out. "Yup, looks like I'm staying here. Considering the power just went out."

"I guess now is a good a time as any to light some candles," Erin laughed.

"Forget the candles," Jamie yawned. "Why don't we just get some sleep. I'm kind of tired and since we're on the couch already… I figure we should get some shut eye."

"I guess that's a good idea," Erin agreed as she nestled closer to Jamie.

"Good night," Jamie kissed her forehead. Closing his eyes, he tried to lull himself to sleep, hoping that Maggie and Bianca were okay back at the house. Of all times for the power to go out, it had to happen the one night he wasn't there to make sure things were okay.

Bianca tossed and turned in bed. She could sense the uneasiness in the room. Although thunderstorms didn't bother her as much anymore, she could tell that something about them was stirring Maggie. Bianca noticed how Maggie's eyes flinched at each crack of thunder passed and it only sparked concern as each moment passed by. To Bianca, they both may have weathered some treacherous storms before but there was still something hidden behind Maggie's deep brown eyes and it was becoming more and more evident as rain pelted against the window and the thunder was making itself present outside.

Bianca knew that deep down, Maggie still harbored some pain that was being kept secret within the depths of her soul.

As her gaze fell upon the Maggie, Bianca noticed how she began tossing in her sleep. Bianca knew right away that Maggie was caught in a dream and frowned knowing what was about to happen next.

Maggie suddenly sat up in bed, trying to catch her breath. She was startled as another crack of thunder passed, this time causing her to cringe with fear. Soon enough a pair of arms were wrapped around her body. Instinctively, she wanted to fight the embrace but she surrendered allowing herself to just sink into Bianca's arms, taking the comfort she so needed at the moment.

"Talk to me Maggie," Bianca whispered into her ear. "Tell me what's going on, tell me what I can do for you."

Maggie had lost all strength at this point in time. She couldn't move, as all she could do was tremble with fear. She wanted to badly to just erase the memory that had been playing itself out in her head but it was next to impossible. Bianca may have gotten over her storms but for Maggie, they only brought back painful reminders of her recent past.