A/N: Santana's bad mouth makes an appearance in this one. Blame her - she wanted to be disgruntled and petulant for a bit.
Santana never wanted to drink alcohol again.
…Okay, that was a total, bald-faced lie. She never wanted to drink alcohol with cough syrup in it again. 'Cuz that shit was nasty. And fucked with her head.
Only… 24 hours after she was sure no more cough syrup crap remained in her system, the head fuckery was still going on. And it was not. Cool.
She was dating Sam! Lady Lips aside, he was one hot piece of man meat. So why…
Why the hell was she lusting after Yentl Man Hands Jewberry if it wasn't caused by cough syrup? 'Cuz that was when the lusting started, right? At the assembly (before B yakked on her, fucking disgusting [she wasn't going to talk about her own expelling]), buzzed and presented with Rachel in clothing she'd hardly seen her wearing before, downing cough syrup and god knows what (crumbled up Oreos, really?). That was when. Had to be.
God damn stupid cough syrup! Next time Santana got sick (pshh; as if – Santana never got sick), she'd suck on lozenges instead. Berry flavored ones, 'cuz those were her favorite.
…Berry flavored. Jesus Christ! Get out of her head, already!
Ur full of shit, satan, Puck texted.
Well, fuck u 2, FUCKerman, Santana responded, snapping her phone shut. That was helpful.
Nice. Next time u wanna talk 2 me, dont.
Wasnt plannin on it. Call you ishmael, fucker.
Puck didn't bother answering that. Tiny dicked whale lovin' bastard.
…Okay, Santana wasn't in the best of moods. But dammit, Puck wasn't supposed to laugh at her cough syrup grievances!
Maybe Quinn would get it, what with her issues with wine coolers. Oh, no, fuck that. She'd just stolen her boyfriend. Bitch would just harp on her about that, and Santana was not in the mood. If anyone was going to do harp, it should be Santana herself.
Come to think of it, it'd been a while. Damn. Time to make some damn angels bleed.
Angels… Angels…
Mmm… She and Brittany had totally rocked the shit out of their angel roles in Run Joey Run.
Fuuuuuuck. Again: Berry. Was there nothing that didn't have to do with that hobbit?