(AN) This is in Jake's POV. Sorry this update is taking so long, I've come up with a serious case of writer's block. And not as in "Gah! I have nothing to write about!", actually, I have too much to write. When I first started this story, it was going to be a tragedy. Unfortunately, I made a classic writer mistake, I fell in love with the characters I was going to make tragic, namely Cassie and Jake. When I first started this, I didn't like Jacob, and I never imagined Cassie to become so prominent (There is no chapter where she doesn't make an appearance, no matter how brief or inconsequential). Unfortunately, the more I wrote, the more I did like Jacob, and I absolutely fell in love with Cassie. This story was supposed to be about Bella and Edward, but it's morphed into a love story between Cassie and Jacob, while Bella's wedding and everything else has faded into the background. As the writer, I don't want Cassie and Jake to go through anything else. I want to see them happy. However, I worry that making the story not tragic will make it awful. So I have two diverging endings in my head. One is happy, one is sad, and I don't know which one to pick. I will promise you this, though, if I choose to go tragic, I will do a sequel to give those two their happy ending. I think they deserve it. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and reviewing! The more reviews, the faster updates!
Disclaimer: I wished I owned Twilight last night :-) I also do not own Augustana or any of their lyrics or song titles, but I do have a major crush on their lead singer and would definitely recommend them. The song is Sweet and Low by Augustana.
Kitty23452: Thanks! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
story.teller1992: Man computers breaking sucks :-( It happens to me fairly often. I'm still trying to show relationships in this one too, through Jacob's eyes this time as he examines what love means to him. Thank you so much for still reading! :-)
Chapter 21: Sweet and Low
I watched Edward drag Bella off and turned my attention back to the gorgeous woman on my arm. She was spinning her hair around her finger elegantly. I was entranced by this tiny movement, and had to think for a couple seconds before I could even remember why I was worried.
"Why does a mobster's daughter have it in for you?" I asked suspiciously. Cassie laughed and stood on tiptoe. Obligingly, I leaned down so she could give me a quick peck on the lips.
"You worry too much, her father thinks she's a silly little brat. It's not like I have a price on my head. We just went to the same school together, and were kind of rivals. She just didn't like me because I was better than her at a couple things." I looked up from Cassie's warm purple eyes to look at the girl pushing through the crowd. She looked like an overdone Barbie doll with a bad tan. I would imagine it was more than a couple things that Cassie beat her at.
"Just be calm, Jakey, please." She begged, her hand resting lightly on my arm. "Nothing she says about me is true, and I know it, and you know it, so don't worry about anything. I love you Jake." She added, hopefully. I smiled like a fool, a damned fool, and kissed her quite passionately, pleased with the way her cheeks heated.
"Love you more." I answered, spinning her around to face this Jackie Force girl and try to stay calm. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her against me, my chest against her back. The girl stood in front of us, her mouth an ugly snarl. Cassie raised an eyebrow, challenging her.
"Cassandra Luwen, why haven't you even introduced me to your friend?" She asked, trying I imagine to be sexy. She made me sick, the look on her eyes, and the smell coming off of her was like stale beer and mothballs. It was almost as bad as the stench of a vampire. I glared at her and lowered my head to Cassie's hair, breathing in her sweet cinnamon smell.
"This is Jacob Black, Jacob, this is Jacqueline Force." Cassie introduced, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. I didn't need to look up to know Jackie's eyes were roaming over me. I tightened my grip on Cassie. I didn't want her upset.
"Jacob! Have you seen Cassandra's modeling campaign pictures? She spent a few nights alone with the photographer…discussing details. I'm glad they turned out okay." She said, bitterly. I looked up, letting a low growl slip from my mouth. Cassie squeezed my hand. How dare she, I erupted in my head, imply anything like that about my Cassie.
"He hasn't had the pleasure. You know how humble Cassie is. It's a refreshing change from the likes of you. How much did your daddy have to pay to get you a modeling contract?" Zack had reappeared, a drink in his hand. He leaned casually against the wall, a small smirk on his mouth.
"Get out before we have security remove you." Cassie threatened and Jackie laughed, backing away into the crowd. I was willing to bet she wasn't leaving. I saw Cassie's hand twitch, and Jackie fell to the floor like she'd been shoved. I rolled my eyes and Jackie looked over her shoulder, glaring. We hadn't moved though, so she said nothing.
"Cassandra Elizabeth Luwen!" Zack scolded. Cassie took his drink from his hand and gulped down the rest of it.
"It's better than throwing her through a wall." I defended her. She smiled at me gratefully, handing the cup back to Zack. She then turned to me, jumping up and wrapping her arms around my neck. I laughed.
"I wanna dance." She said petulantly. I looked at her pout and instantly carried her to the dance floor. A live band was playing, and they were just finishing a song. I smelled Emmett and Rosalie before I saw them. They emerged from the dance floor with identical smiles.
"We saw that! You made her trip!" Emmett announced. Cassie placed a finger to her lips to shush him and winked at Rosalie.
"I can disable her car if you want." She offered. Emmett nodded in agreement, holding up his hand for a high five. Cassie untwined one hand from my neck and gave him five, but she shook her head.
"Let her sulk, I'm already in enough trouble with Zack." She said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, I have Jake, and I want to dance." Rosalie grinned.
"Go, show the bitch what you're made of!" She exclaimed, pushing us out to the dance floor. The song was changing, and I quickly slipped past the crowd into the center. I put her down beside where Bella and Edward were dancing as the first lyrics drifted past us.
Anywhere you go, anyone you meet
Remember that your eyes can be your enemy
I said hell is so close and heaven is out of reach.
I ain't giving up quite yet. I've got too much to lose.
Bella and Edward were in their own little world, and I barely noticed the way they looked into each other's eyes. I didn't feel the sting of pain I usually felt. I could hear Edward faintly singing along with the song. I concentrated on Bella's face as he sang.
Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down, sweet and low
And I'll carry you home
Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down…and I'll carry you home
I still remembered how Bella looked when he left. Did I look the same when Cassie had walked out for Frisco? Was he her fickle Romeo, and Cassie my fickle Juliet? It didn't work out the way I planned, but somehow it felt right. No, that was an understatement. I looked across the floor, and I could see Carlisle Cullen and Esme Cullen dancing. They weren't in time with the movements, dancing in a style much too old. Cassie had told me once they'd been in love for two hundred years, I could hear the romantic longing behind her voice. Something that lasts that long, and looking at the two of them, I could tell they still loved each other. Anyone could.
Rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine,
The wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise
She said, when the day comes, look into my eyes
No one's giving up quite yet, we've got too much to lose
Jasper and Alice danced by us, wild in their movements. Jasper had always seemed the most silent and stoic of the Cullens, and the one most prone to slip ups according to Cassie. I'd watched him cautiously whenever Cassie strayed by him, but he only ever smiled at her, sometimes they would laugh and joke. It made me nervous, but Alice had never stopped defending him. Her love for him made him perfect to her, even when he was dangerous and out of control. They loved each other, for better or for worse. A sentiment I could only promise to one girl.
Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down, sweet and low
And I'll carry you home
Hold me down, sweet and low little girl
Hold me down…and I'll carry you home
I looked down, her eyes were on the floor. She was tiny, too skinny, and seemingly more delicate than Bella ever was. There were ghosts in her eyes that scared me like nothing else, and her frail skin was prone to bruises from my rough hands. Despite all of that, she was reckless, brave, playful, and passionate about everything in her life. She was at once too fragile and too strong, a fire that burned me up, and the warmth that kept me alive. Her eyes rose to mine, and I couldn't help but thank god for making her. She was perfect for me. Her mouth opened, and she started to sing quietly to the lyrics. My heart swelled against my ribs.
And I'll carry you all the way,
You say you're fine, but you're still young, and out of line
All I need is to turn around, to make it last, to make it count
Ain't gonna make the same mistakes
That put my momma in her grave
I don't wanna be alone
I stopped moving to the music and reached down for her, I didn't care if the whole damn club was watching us. I picked her up easily and brought her lips to mine, crushing them together. As the fire between us exploded, I found myself preparing for something. An odd chill in the air put me on my guard, or perhaps I was just feeling paranoid because I was too happy. Ever since I had phased, that's what I believed. Every time I was truly happy, something was going to crash down and ruin it. It was an odd sense of foreboding, like Cassie herself couldn't last. It crossed my mind that maybe she was some odd ghost, or a dream, a figment of my imagination. I tightened my grip on her, desperation seizing me. Never let go, I chanted to myself. I kissed her till I couldn't breathe, and when I pulled away, I noticed she looked dazed, and the prettiest smile was on her face. It was confused, but happy.
"I don't know what just brought that on, Jake, but I think my heart might never slow down." She confessed. She was beautiful, her eyes sparkling, skin flushed. The song playing now was different, a faster beat. I kissed her again, softer this time, and let myself burn in her fire.
Zack ended up going home with some random chick, despite Cassie's incoherent ramblings about catching something. Despite promising not to get Bella drunk, she made sure Bella never had an empty glass. Bella eventually caught on, and made Cass promise to drink for every drink she had. I'd later found out that she had the alcohol tolerance of a small bird, but I couldn't help laughing at her as she got more and more flustered. By the time the club closed, I had to carry Cassie to the car. To my amusement, so did Edward. The vampires couldn't stop making fun of each little thing they would do. Bella kept trying to take her clothing off, which made Edward mortified, and Cassie kept babbling incoherent nonsense. She was cuter than humanly possible, even with her cheeks vivid red and her hair a mess. She kept running her fingers over my face, through my hair, and down my arms. Her eyes stayed on mine, though, which made her attention even better. The only time she would notice anyone else was when they called her name.
I had to fish the key to the door out of her pocket so I could open the door. She giggled the whole time, while I tried not to think of where my hand was. I could hear muffled laughs in the background, and I thanked God for the darkness of my skin hiding the blush.
I carried her in the door and immediately to her bedroom, laying her in the bed. Her arms were locked around my neck, so I had no choice but to kneel above her while I tried to pry her fingers lose. Her eyes widened and she shook her head, pulling me tighter.
"Dun't leave." She mumbled. "Sleep with me, right here." She demanded. I sighed, I'd been planning to sleep chastely on the floor, despite the overpowering urge to kiss her skin all night. I wasn't sure how my self control would hold up to having her warm body beside me all night when she was so very vulnerable.
"Okay, Cass." I relented, sliding in next to her, shrugging off my shirt. She curled up into my chest and I inhaled her scent deeply. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, but I stayed up for hours, watching her sleeping features. All the feelings from our first dance rushed back to me, and I felt edgy. Eventually, I fell into a restless sleep beside her, her rhythmic breathing lulling me to sleep.
I woke up late early the next afternoon. It took me a minute to realize where I was, and to remember last night. Cassie wasn't in bed, but I could hear the shower next door running. I stood, looking around as I went to the window. I could see the buildings next to us, and the street. I looked through my things and sighed with relief when my hands closed on a small black ring box. I held it in my hand and sat on the bed, pondering the implications of the ring box. I ran my hands through my hair, sighing.
Forever was a really long time, but I could never imagine forever without the flame that tormented my heart. I was completely committed to us, but I wondered if she felt the same way. I knew the real reason she had fought back against Leah that day wasn't to protect Kim, but because Leah had hurt her with the words she said. He only loves you because he has too, idiotic Leah.
I loved Cassie because she was Cassie, simple enough. I needed to see her smile, to hear her laugh. I knew that if she was with me until the end of time, I could make her happy. And we could be together forever. She'd already explained that to me, she didn't age, she was immortally stuck at 18 till she died, and I was stuck at 16. I could deal with the two year age difference forever. It wouldn't matter a whole lot after twenty or so years anyway.
And I'd spent all my life savings on this ring, along with most of Billy's (With his blessing), to prove that I would love her for eternity. Imprinting, no imprinting, Bella or no Bella, I would have ended up with Cassandra. I didn't realize how long I'd been sitting there, or the fact that the shower had stopped running. I looked up when I heard a gasp, into eyes that were growing wider by the second.
"Jacob, is that…?" She asked, trailing off. I stood, trying to think of the right think to say. She turned away from me, to the door, but I stood and caught up to her before she was out of the hallway.
"Cassie…" I pleaded. She turned to me. The vampires were all craning their heads to watch what was going on. I realized we were completely exposed, our secret melodrama, but what scared me most was the desperate hope I could see raging in her eyes. She wanted this too, she wouldn't admit it, but she did.
"You didn't want this. You were trying to talk yourself into doing it." She whispered. I snorted bitterly.
"Are you nuts?" I asked.
"It's been suggested." She replied faintly, her hand on the wall.
"I was trying to think of how you'd react, of how I should do it. Jesus Cassie, if this is good enough for you…" I knelt down, and watched as her hands moved to her mouth, covering it.
"I wanted to do the whole over the top flowers and candles thing, but I wasn't sure if it'd be too much for you." I mumbled. "And I don't really have a speech, either, but…I don't think we need words anymore. I know you love me, you know I love you. And if you love me even half as much as I love you, we should get married."
I opened the box, letting the light sparkle on the ring. I'd searched for weeks to find the perfect one. It was a white gold ring and diamond pave band, but the best part was the blue enamel paw prints that wound around the band. It wasn't flashy, like Bella's, but I'd imagined it often on her finger, and it suited her.
"Please Cassie…" I asked when she didn't move. "I can't stand forever if you're not with me."
I saw the tears start to fall, and her mouth was moving, trying to make sounds, but nothing would come out. I'd never seen her speechless, but finally she managed to nod. I grinned, idiotically, and pulled her hand to me. I slipped the ring on her left hand and watched it there. It fit perfectly, thank god for Emily finding out her ring size. I wasn't prepared when she threw herself at me, and I barely managed to catch her as her legs wrapped around me.
"I love you…I love you…I love you…" She whispered over and over again in my ear. I held her tight, turning to the Cullens. They were all smiling happily. Even Edward, who held Bella tight against him.
"I love you too." I murmured, setting her on the ground. Alice and Rosalie were instantly there, grabbing her away from me and examining the ring with girlish squeals. Bella was slower to get there, looking rough from her night out, but she too seemed genuinely happy at this turn of events. I just couldn't keep myself from staring at my fiancée.
Cassandra Elizabeth Black. Cassie Black. It sounded perfect to me.
(AN) If you want to see the ring go to /product.php?pid1208&trackingshopzilla :-)