Wilder

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XXI

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS
SOME GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE

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Alistair hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until the slamming of the door startled him awake. He sat up abruptly, nearly tipping his chair backwards in the process as he wiped the drool from his cheek. Embarrassingly enough, there was a large wet stain on the piece of parchment he'd fallen asleep reading. He was blearily aware that the figure that had stormed past the table was Anouk, and was fully awake when she slammed the door to the back bedroom. Alistair looked around at Leliana and Zevran, their confused expressions mirroring his own.

Given the state of his two companions, the shadows showing themselves under their eyes and the tired lines of their faces, Alistair was willing to bet that it was quite late in the day. The three of them had been at this all day, taking ten minute breaks in turns usually choosing to take a small stroll outside to stretch their legs and Leliana venturing out once to bring back something to eat. Somehow, they had gotten a good start on Genitivi's research, but despite the fact that the brother's research was clear and concise, Alistair's brain simply could not absorb any more information today - he was sure that if he tried to force any more research into his mind that his head would simply explode leaving gooey Grey Warden all over the walls.

A few minutes later the front door opened again as Dmitri and Sten strolled into the house, the former chuckling to himself as if someone told him a joke and he'd just understood the punch line while Sten didn't look one bit amused. Still laughing to himself, Dmitri shrugged his sword from his shoulder, leaning the massive weapon against the wall, Sten mirroring his actions a moment later.

"I do not think your fellow Warden finds the same humor in the situation as you do," Sten chided Dmitri.

Dmitri sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "I know, and I shouldn't laugh, but really, did you see the look on Anouk's face? She looked so scandalized!" Dmitri replied, once again falling into a round of chuckles.

"And rightly so. You should not have taken her there," Sten commented. Then the giant released a quiet sigh, "I had thought that in this quest to defeat the Blight I might find some redeeming quality of this country to report back to the Arishok, so far there is none."

"What happened?" Leliana wondered.

"We went to the brothel," Sten answered, gruffly.

"What!?" Zevran cried, truly affronted. "And no one bothered to come fetch me!? For shame, Dmitri!"

"You took Anouk to the brothel?" Alistair demanded.

Anouk going to the brothel bothered Alistair more than it should have. It wasn't that Alistair feared she would partake of the debauchery that occurred within The Pearl, it was the way he knew she had been looked at. Alistair may have been schooled in an abbey and trained as a Templar, but he was not dead; Anouk was very easy on the eyes. The idea that the "workers" of the brothel didn't see the strong, confident warrior that Alistair had come to see in Anouk bothered him.

The door to the back bedroom opened once more as Anouk stormed out, having changed from her armor into a pair of wide legged breaches and a tunic. As she passed the table, she picked up a loaf of the bread Leliana had brought home with her earlier, then walked back out the door, slamming it shut behind her for good measure.

"Where is she going?" Dmitri wondered, as he turned to look at the closed door.

"Probably to the roof," Leliana replied with a sigh. "Genitivi had quite a lovely rooftop garden, Anouk and I have been going there for her reading lessons."

When Dmitri turned back around, he found all of his companions staring at him with disapproving expressions. "She was fine!" he cried. "… Until one of the workers propositioned her."

That's what Alistair was afraid of happening. With a sigh, Alistair pushed out his chair and rose to his feet. "I'll go talk to her," he offered.

Zevran rose as well. "Perhaps I should –"

"No! Definitely not," Alistair cut him off abruptly and Zevran sulked back into his seat. Zevran talking to Anouk about the brothel was probably the worst idea Alistair could think of. Although, the idea of Zevran coming back from the conversation bleeding and bruised was almost enough to make him change his mind.

As Alistair rounded the back of Genitivi's small home he couldn't help the hammering of his heart. He and Anouk were still not on the best of terms since Redcliffe and the two of them had not had time to really be alone to talk since then. He really did hate it, the distance he could feel between them while he watched Anouk and Dmitri grow closer with each passing day. She would go out of her way to talk to him, but tended to avoid Alistair like he had a plague. It was terribly frustrating, and if Alistair was wholly honest with himself, he was a little jealous. Why was he such a pariah to her?

When Alistair crested the top of the stairs, he found Anouk leaning against the low wall of the roof and the wind carried the sound of shifting parchment as she flipped through a book of some kind, though he didn't notice her leave with it. He looked around, Leliana was right, Genitivi did have quite a lovely rooftop garden, but the state of the plants was a testament to how long the brother had been gone. Many of the plants were in desperate need of care as many had overgrown and some were beginning to wilt and turn brown.

"Anouk?" he called out a little hesitantly.

Her eyes darted over her shoulder and she granted him a nod. "Hello Alistair."

So far, so good, he thought as he came to stand beside her; it didn't seem as though she had any intention of turning him away. She closed the book as he leaned against the low wall, holding it pressed between the palms of her hands. "Are… you okay? I know going to the, uh, brothel had to be… a shock."

To his surprise, Anouk snorted a laugh. "Sex is hardly a shock to me, Alistair."

Involuntarily, Alistair gulped. Oh Maker, this is awkward. Maybe I should have let Zevran come up here.

But she saved him from having to say anything when she continued, "I forget sometimes that grasslanders are more… open than my people, that's all." Chuckling, Anouk shook her head and said, "My oldest friend would have laughed himself sick if he could have seen me in that place…" she trailed off, and Alistair didn't miss the way her grip tightened on the book in her hands.

Once again, he saw the sadness overtake her, the droop in her usual proudly held shoulders. But like all the other times, it was gone as quickly as it had come, like a cloud had passed overhead and moved on. After another moment, Anouk shook her head and said, "Anyway, you are the one who looks like they have had a shock… I take it conversations about intimate acts were not part of your Templar training?"

Alistair let out a chuckle. "Oh no, they were, but it was more along the lines of if we so much as look at a woman the Maker would smite us in a blaze of righteous fury."

"And has he – your Maker I mean, has he…" Anouk trailed off, her mouth puckering as she tried to find the right word, "smited… anybody for looking?"

Anouk turned toward him then, and despite the fact that she had said it incorrectly, Alistair couldn't bring himself to correct her. She looked so lovely then, looking up at him from under her lashes, with the light from the setting sun cast across her dusky skin. Alistair knew though, she had asked to try and get the better of him like she seemed so skilled at doing.

He wasn't going to let her this time.

Feeling oddly brave, Alistair raised his hand and let his knuckles brush along her cheek as he replied, "Not yet."

Almost immediately, he was rewarded when color pooled on Anouk's cheeks and she diverted her gaze with a breathy laugh. "You didn't need to come and check on me, Alistair."

Right, he reminded himself. There was another reason you came up here, idiot. He nodded. "I know, but, uh… there was another reason I came up here…" he stammered. "You and I, we haven't talked much since Redcliffe... and I know our… friendship hasn't exactly been the easiest, but…" I miss you.

Why couldn't he bring himself to actually say it?

She shrugged and looked down at the book pressed between her hands. Shamelessly, Alistair stared, thrilling with the thought that he had made her blush. "You were angry with me, I do not see why there was a need to talk," Anouk said quietly.

"I was angry with you, but not anymore, Anouk; and I am so sorry for the way I spoke to you. I was just… I don't know, I wanted there to be a way that we could save everyone, all this death really starts to take its toll. I'm still waiting for all of this to get easier," Alistair said to her, hoping that he sounded sincere.

To his surprise, Alistair suddenly felt Anouk's hand on his arm and when he looked down, she had manipulated his hand open and laced her fingers together with his. She always amazed him at how deceitful her stature could be. He knew how strong she really was, how agile and deft her fingers, but now Alistair felt if he squeezed her hand just a little too tightly, the bones of her hand would break. He felt his breath catch slightly because the only person Anouk openly showed affection for was Dmitri, but Alistair relished it, curling his fingers around hers in turn and returning the gentle squeeze.

Too soon, it was over and Anouk had withdrawn her hand leaving something pressed to the palm of Alistair's. The amulet was face down, but he knew it instantly. "My mother's amulet," he breathed, "but I shattered this, where did you find it?"

"In the Arl's study atop the desk."

"The Arl's study?" he replied, then turned over the amulet to see that its face was still cracked. "That means Eamon found it… and repaired it?"

"Perhaps he meant to give it back to you someday, but could not find the right time," she offered gently.

Alistair shook his head, unable to come to terms with his shock. "I was wretched to him after he sent me away, why would he keep this?"

"Not everything is as it seems, Alistair. Eamon clearly cared for you a great deal, even after you were wretched to him," Anouk replied with a smile. "Just because you are angry with someone, or they are angry with you does not mean that they care for you any less."

He tightened his hand around the amulet, bringing it to his chest, determined not to lose it again. The well of his emotions was threatening to over flow as he openly stared at Anouk's profile, trying so hard to understand her in an instant. Alistair knew it was an impossibility, there were too many sides to her, too many facets and he could not reconcile them all into simpler terms no matter how he labored to do so. The only thing he could do was build on everything that he already learned and already knew, accepting the fact that somehow, someway everything combined into the woman on the rooftop with him.

"Thank you," Alistair finally said, empathically. "I thought for sure that I had lost this forever, you don't know what this means to me."

"Your thanks isn't necessary," she assured him.

"No it is, because the fact that you found this, remembered it and returned it to me means that you not only suffered my rambling, but you listened," he told her. "I'm so used to being ignored when I talk, it's refreshing to know someone actually listens."

Her features softened then and Anouk closed her eyes, tilting her head back in appreciation of the sun's warmth on her cheeks. She looked so different now from the fierce warrior Alistair had always known her to be, with the light banishing the shadows that always seemed to dance across her features. Here in the setting sun's light, Alistair could almost forget that they were both Grey Wardens, that Anouk could kill an opponent at 200 paces; that he was both a bastard son and long lost brother to Kings. Alistair could almost forget that they were embroiled in a war that would decide the fate of all of Ferelden.

Finally, Anouk sighed and turned to face him, smiling softly. "Of course I listened Alistair, I always listen; you mean a great deal to me."

I should say something, right? Alistair thought in a panic. But he couldn't seem to get any sound out around the dryness of his throat and the way his tongue suddenly felt obnoxiously thick in his mouth. He was suddenly very aware of his breathing, heavy almost gasping for air as he tried to reason with what Anouk had just said. She had gotten the better of him after all, and Alistair had never before felt so off kilter.

"I… don't know what… to say," he finally replied, though haltingly. "You… mean a lot to me, too."

And Alistair realized that she did, but before this moment he hadn't come to terms with just how much Anouk meant to him. His thoughts suddenly drifted to the item stored safely away in the depths of his pack. At night, when the nightmares prevented him from falling asleep, Alistair would take it out and stare at it, admiring the fact that even after weeks of being in his possession that it still had not died. In hindsight, he really didn't know why he picked the rose, but it had brought him a sense of calm those nights when sleep was elusive.

In a lot of ways, Anouk did the same thing – brought him a sense of calm. But where the rose brought him calm in the stillness of night, Anouk gave him calm amid the chaos of battle. She was a constant, always there in his blind spots watching out for him at his weakest points and Alistair knew, inexplicably, that he could trust her.

So Alistair's mind wandered again to the rose tucked safely away in his pack… hers now.

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A few days later, Alistair was thrilled to finally be out of the confines of Genitivi's tiny home. As it turned out, the book that Anouk had been holding that day in the rooftop garden had been the journal of Ser Friden, a Templar that Alistair had known during his own training. The man was several years older than Alistair, but he remembered that Ser Friden had always been fair in his treatment of all of the Templar recruits, noble or poor. Anouk had found it entirely by coincidence the day that she, Dmitri and Sten had gone to the brothel on a request from Sergeant Kylon.

Upon reading through the majority of the journal with Anouk, which documented Ser Friden's hunt for a faction of blood mages within Denerim, Alistair had asked if they could investigate the abandoned building the fallen Templar referenced. Thankfully, Anouk had agreed and had requested that Morrigan and Dmitri accompany them should things go awry.

And go awry they did, in the worst possible way. Alistair's elation over his conversation with Anouk upon the rooftop dwindled and died quickly when they met their first resistance not a hundred feet into the building.

The abandoned building was not abandoned at all, but turned out to be the blood mage's hideout and as it turned out, everyone was home at the time of their visit. It was much larger than they anticipated with many rooms, a token force of mages and mercenaries, and riddled with so many traps of varying sophistication that Anouk had not been able to sense and disable many of them. At each turn they wondered if they had finally cut through the last of the forces and at each turn, each new door they opened, they were met again with opponents in their way that wanted nothing more than to take their heads clean off of their shoulders.

Anouk was beside him every step of the way, giving Alistair that same sense of calm as she found her thrills in the battle. This was by far the most difficult fight they had been in, they were out of their league with these blood mages, but with Anouk fighting so fearlessly and confidently, Alistair had to believe that they would come out of this the victors. She had never failed to clench a victory for them in the past so Alistair had no reason to believe any differently now. It was difficult, painfully, monumentally difficult; but they owed it to Ser Friden and to all of the people who had been sacrificed in these blood mages' blind search for power to see it through to the end.

"DMITRI!"

It was the absolute distress in Anouk's voice that caught Alistair's attention. Knocking his opponent's attack away, Alistair turned to see what had happened and upon seeing the blood red aura surrounding Dmitri, Alistair knew exactly what was going on. The leader of the blood mages was siphoning Dmitri's blood to power his spells and with the extent of his friend's injuries from their fight through the building it was not a difficult task.

"DMITRI!" Anouk cried again, barely managing to dodge an attack from the qunari mercenary as he bore down on her relentlessly. With a heavy kick to her opponent, Anouk's eyes found his. "Alistair do something! You're the only one who can!"

Filled with a sudden determination, Alistair bashed the mercenary captain in the face with his shield, the taking advantage of his moment of shock, ran him through. The mercenary captain sputtered, and Alistair felt blood fleck across his face before he shoved the captain from the length of his blade. It took more effort than Alistair wanted to admit to summon the willpower for his Smite, but in their descent into the bowels of this hell he had all but exhausted his willpower.

While he gathered his willpower, Anouk messily dispatched her qunari and Alistair tried to ignore the wet, heavy thudding of the giant's head as it hit the wooden floor. She turned and made for the blood mage leader and Dmitri, and Alistair knew that if he did not cast his Smite by the time she reached them that she, along with Dmitri would most likely be dead.

The putrid smell of burning flesh and human hair suddenly filled the room, as the corner of the room Morrigan had been fighting in suddenly erupted into a blaze of orange as she set her own opponent aflame. The screaming was atrocious, but Morrigan did not allow her victim to suffer overlong, silencing him as she drove an ice spear through his flaming chest cavity.

Alistair cast his Holy Smite with a cry as he drained the last dregs of his willpower. The room lit white as the smite filled the room, rendering the magic of the leader absolutely useless. Dmitri hit the ground in a crumbled heap as the leader attempted to stumble back in shock, but he didn't get very far. Anouk was there, tackling him to the floor, her weapons having been abandoned in her effort to cross the room quickly. But the sounds of her fists hitting flesh swelled into the room until it was the only thing Alistair could hear as he crossed the room. He had never seen Anouk display such brutality as she beat the blood mage leader to death, his face no longer recognizable and her hands covered to the wrists in his blood.

Alistair went to her, gripped her by the shoulders firmly. "Anouk stop, it's over… stop," he pleaded with her, running his hands down her arms to grasp her wrists. He couldn't bear to see her like this.

She scrambled from his grip, crawled to Dmitri's side and lifted his head off the floor. He was alive, but only just and he would not last much longer. There were tears on her face as she shook him, trying to rouse him. "Dmitri, wake up, it's over… you have to wake up!" she cried. Anouk draped herself over Dmitri as she sobbed and Alistair's heart felt like it was shattering in his chest. "You have to wake up! I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN… Not again! Diganeli please!"

Suddenly Anouk's head shot up and her eyes searched wildly around the room. "Morrigan! Heal him!" she demanded when her eyes found the witch.

Morrigan, in what Alistair thought was an uncharacteristic show of sympathy, crouched down beside Anouk and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. "I've already told you," she began gently, "I am no Healer… there is nothing I can do. I am sorry."

But Anouk couldn't accept that. She gripped the front of Morrigan's robes with her bloody hands, drawing the witch closer. "Morrigan please. I am begging you, I cannot lose him. Please."

It must have been how broken and lost Anouk appeared that swayed the witch because she sighed and gave a nod. "I will try, but I cannot guarantee anything."

Alistair divided his attention between Morrigan, divesting Dmitri of his breastplate to Anouk, shaking and inconsolable beside the witch. It occurred to Alistair that Anouk had not killed the blood mage leader in a rage, but it had been out of a crippling fear – the fear that he had taken from her someone that she loved. And yet somehow, Alistair felt acutely responsible. If he had not asked to investigate the abandoned building, Dmitri would not be dying on the floor before him and Anouk would not be losing her mind with grief.

Sweat appeared on Morrigan's brow from the effort that she was exuding, Alistair could feel her magic flaring, but stubbornly refusing to manifest while Dmitri's life slipped further away. Anouk grew more disheartened as the seconds ticked away, and he knew that she was only another moment away from a grief-stricken scream. If Dmitri died, Alistair did not know how he would be able to comfort Anouk.

Then, miraculously, Morrigan's hands began to glow with healing light and she made a noise in surprise. It had worked, Morrigan had been able to break down whatever wall divided her from the healing magic that she was capable of. Color returned to Dmitri's cheeks, his chest began to expand and deflate with more regularity, and the smaller injuries shrank until they disappeared completely. But because Morrigan's healing ability was new, there was only so much she could do, and after another moment she drew back breathing heavily.

"I'm afraid that is all I can do for the moment, but it is enough to get him back to Genitivi's home," she panted, wiping sweat from her forehead.

Anouk didn't say anything, merely stared at Dmitri as he laid unconscious. Slowly, she reached out to lay a hand on his chest, just over his heart, finally breathing a sigh of relief when she had confirmed that his heart was beating steadily.

I am so bad at updating everything. I know. But the good news is with Inquisition coming out
later this year, I've actually found my zeal for this story again!

The last part was the mission THE LAST REQUEST, which in my opinion is one of the more
difficult missions in the game. If you're not properly leveled, or you/your companions are not
adequately geared you get your ass handed to you!

BTW, did anyone actually think I would kill Dmitri? I really did seriously consider it...

-(gxr)-