The Good Fight

Lily sighed, and massaged a kink in her neck with one hand, holding Harry on her hip with the other. Sighing, she said, "Yes, Alastor, I know it's urgent, but there are only so many shortcuts I can use if you want the potion to work – and you do want the potion to work I imagine. Polyjuice gone wrong can have some very nasty effects. Surely you can get it somewhere else – you're an Auror!"

Moody shook his head. "It's not so simple as that, girl – Crouch doesn't know I'm helping Dumbledore behind the scenes, and there's a reason for that. I can't go waltzing off with ministry property."

Lily shrugged. "Well, I'm sorry," she said, "But I can't and won't give you a potion that isn't one hundred percent effective; you know as well as I do that it's just too risky."

Moody made a noise that resembled a growl, and pulled his head out of the fire. Lily rolled her eyes at this behaviour, and tickled Harry under the chin. "Don't be like that when you grow up," she said.

Harry grinned at her, one finger stuck in his mouth. "Bad." He said.

"Yes," Lily said. "Bad."

She kissed his head fondly, and left the sitting room, to put him down for his nap. He got very crabby if he didn't sleep during the day, and that was the last thing she needed. After putting him down Lily stood by the window for a moment, looking out at the landscape, if such a word could really be used – seeing the area around East Anglia had given her a new understanding of the word flat.

Harry's breathing was slightly laboured, as he had a stuffed nose, and Lily shivered as she heard it. Things did not look good. A Dark Mark had been spotted over Gideon's and Fabian's house, and James had gone with Sirius, Peter and Frank Longbottom to check it out. He shouldn't have gone, given the Prophecy, but the Order was stretched thin.

Sighing, Lily covered Harry up with a light blanket, and went downstairs to the living room; she could pace and worry there without bothering him. She knew, knew in her heart somehow, that Gideon and Fabian were dead. There was a terrible sense of foreboding sitting on her shoulder – she knew something still more awful was coming, she didn't know what it was, but it was coming.

Thankfully, she wasn't able to brood on this long, as Peter arrived to the Floo. He didn't even have to say anything – Lily could tell from the look on his face that her friends were dead. She sighed, remembering their sister, and said, "Is James behind you?"

Peter nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. "Right then," Lily said, "I'm going to go…tell their family. Tell him I'll be back soon – Harry's asleep upstairs."

"I'll tell him," Peter said solemnly. The last thing Lily saw before Apparating was his face, so calm and strangely still.

When she appeared at the bottom of the lane that Gideon and Fabian's sister lived on, she had a surprise waiting for her. Remus was standing there, looking fully as uncomfortable as she felt. Apparently he knew Arthur Weasley, or his father had, and having heard the details of the twins' final fight, had determined to tell him what had happened.

Only now, he told Lily, he couldn't face it, so he lingered at the bottom of the lane. Her arrival made him feel more able to deal with what was to come, and he told her what, exactly, had happened to the twins as they had walked up the lane.

Lily had hoped that when she saw the Burrow, saw the place where Gideon and Fabian had spent so much of their time, somehow the words would come to her, but they did not. She had never met Molly Weasley, but everything the twins had ever said about had suggested that, while she was a formidable woman, she loved her brothers as much as any sister could. Lily didn't know how she was going to break the news to her, what she would say…

Remus caught her eye, and she smiled at him, and sighed as they began to walk up towards the house. She was saved from having to say anything insightful by the presence of two small boys flying broomsticks in the front garden. One of them, a handsome child of about ten, landed in front of them and said, "Who are you?"

He was watching them carefully, his eyes never leaving their wand arms, and he didn't relax when Remus said, "We're friends of your uncles'."

"How do I know that?" The child said, setting his jaw obstinately. "Mum said we should let strangers into the house…"

Lily smiled at him, trying to look as unthreatening as possible. "Well," she said, "We know you've got a little sister inside – she's about a week old, maybe a week and a half? Fabian told us all about her."

The child eyed her for a moment, and finally said, "All right then. I'm Bill. Why are you here, anyway?"

Keeping her voice gentle, Lily said, "We have some news for your mother."

Remus interrupted her, "Is your father home, Bill?"

Bill shook his head, as though the answer should have been obvious. "He's at work."

"Right," Remus said. "Look, could you get on the Floo, and get your father to come home, while we talk to your mother. Tell him it's urgent."

Bill looked suspicious, and said, "What's happened? What's 'urgent'?"

Lily put her hand on his shoulder. "We really need to tell your mother first," she said, "But when you're done…you have a lot of brothers don't you?"

"And a sister."

"Yes, and a sister – well could you bring them all into the sitting room, or somewhere, and get them to wait? It'll be good if your Mum doesn't have to worry about them."

Lily could see understanding beginning to dawn in his eyes, and a moment later he shouted up at the other boy. "Oi! Charlie – get down."

His younger brother joined them, and all four walked up to the house, Bill bringing them round to the back door, as he said that his mother was definitely in the kitchen. Lily took a deep breath as he opened the door, and a moment later they were inside.

Molly Weasley was a slightly plump woman – Lily could certainly sympathise with having a pregnancy belly – with flaming red hair and a kind face. Lily could tell, just by looking at her, that she loved to bake cakes and kiss her children goodnight and tickle her baby's toes and… She knew just why Gideon and Fabian had loved her so much, and it made what she had to say all the harder. Molly Weasley had only just finished feeding her daughter, and Lily spared a moment to be thankful she'd had a moment of such peace, before introducing herself.

Before she'd even finished her first sentence, Molly Weasley had handed her daughter over to Bill and picked up her wand. "Take Ginny inside, Bill. Now." He started to protest, but his mother was having none of it, and Bill looked at Lily regretfully as he left.

Holding her wand in a threatening manner, Molly Weasley said, "I want to know who you are, and what you're doing here, and I want to know now."

Lily put her wand on the table and lifted her hands in the air. "We're not…we're not his – we work for Dumbledore."

"And I'm supposed to…just let you in here, am I?"

Remus put his wand beside Lily's and said, "You have our wands. We're not here to hurt you, or your family."

Molly bit her lip, looking uncertain, and then snatched their wands up in one hand. "All right," she said, "Why are you here then?"

Lily looked at Remus, and a moment later he said, "You should sit down."

All the blood drained from Molly's face, and she dropped into one of the kitchen chairs, saying, "What happened?"

Pulling up a seat beside her, Lily said, "Did you know your brothers were working for Dumbledore?"

Molly looked at her sharply and said, "Yes, they said…they said they were… What's happened?"

Lily swallowed hard and said, "We were told, about two hours ago, that there was a…a Dark Mark over their house. We…our people, they went there immediately but…by the time they got there, it was too late."

Molly's eyes were very wide and frightened now. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…Gideon and Fabian were murdered, by the Death Eaters."

"No." For the first time, Molly Weasley sounded like a little girl, not a mother of seven, and somehow Lily hated herself for creating that voice.

"They…as far as we could tell, they fought…they were fighting five Death Eaters at once, and…there was no way for them to contact anyone in time, but…they fought like heroes."

Molly Weasley started to cry, and Lily looked at Remus hopelessly. It did no good, that was the worst of it, it did no good at all to say that Gideon and Fabian had been brave or had fought for what was right, it did no good at all, because they were dead. Why on earth should Molly Weasley care that the Order was defending important, vital ideals when her little brothers had been murdered.

They could do nothing to help her – just sit with Molly in her warm kitchen, and not leave her alone with the terrible knowledge that, after all, her brothers would never come back. Could never come back. It seemed like hours before Arthur Weasley Apparated just outside the door, and when Lily looked at her watch she was startled to see that it actually had been nearly a full hour. Remus nodded at her, and went to tell him what had happened while Lily patted Molly on the back half-heartedly. She wanted to back home, with James, and with Harry, and she wanted to lie down in the grass somewhere and watch them play together, and more than anything, she never wanted to lose a friend again.

It was a relief when Arthur came to sit beside his wife, and Lily relinquished her place gratefully. As they started to speak to one another in whispers she went into the next room, just in case she was needed.

She'd never seen so much red hair in her life. Seven boys, from age ten to a little older than Harry, and the older ones desperately trying to keep order; they didn't understand what had happened. Bill was holding the baby in his arms, and hissing instructions at Charlie, who was trying to keep the next youngest amused with a teddy bear. Meanwhile baby Ginny was getting increasingly crabby, as Lily could tell from experience, and two boys of about three or four (twins, Lily thought) were knocking over every item in reach, while their older brother followed them, patiently repairing all the damage they did.

Smiling at Bill, Lily gestured towards the baby and said, "Do you want me to take her? I'm a Mum myself, so…"

He relinquished his sister with a look of gratitude, and went to help his younger brother deal with the twins. Moving carefully, Lily went out into the hall, where she could walk up and down with the baby without bothering anyone.

She couldn't have been more than ten days old – her eyes were still having trouble focusing, and she had only a few wisps of hair on her head, but they were as red as her mother's. Lily held her close walked her up and down, hoping that the rhythmic movement would soothe her somewhat. Ginny though would have none of it, and eventually Lily sat on the stairs and curled her little finger under and stuck into Ginny's mouth.

That seemed to work, and after a few minutes suckling, Ginny fell asleep. Lily sighed with relief – she had been much easier to calm than Harry had been, back when he was really tiny – and shifted her to a more comfortable position. Remus found her there not long after.

He looked tired when he sat beside her, and Lily was unsurprised to hear him say, "I think we should go fairly soon."

Lily nodded. "How is she?"

Remus shrugged. "Not good."

Lily shrugged. "Well, there's…that's what you'd expect."

He nodded, looking lost, and said, "How's this one doing?"

"Oh, she's all right," Lily said. "I forgot how tiny they are." Trying to distract herself, she added, "She won't have it easy either."

Remus looked surprised. "What?"

"Well, six older brothers…and being a red head – it's a heavy load to bear."

Remus snorted with laughter and said, "She'll sort it out somehow – you managed."

"Yeah, but…well, I suppose Petunia is just as bad as any older brother. Times three."

Remus smiled again, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, half-hugging her for a moment. Lily sighed and said, "Thanks Remus."

He looked baffled, and she added, "For coming with me – I know…I had to do this, but…I'm just glad I wasn't alone."

Remus blushed and said, "It's nothing."

Lily shook her head. "It's not nothing. I was…I dreaded coming here, and I knew…I knew I had to do it, but…I suppose I'm just glad to have you around."

Remus smiled. "Well…it's good to be here."

There was a long pause between them, and Lily saw an expression she could only define as…hungry pass over his face, and finally he said, "When did you first know you were in love with James?"

Lily started, thinking it was rather an odd question, but answered him anyway. "When…you remember when his father died?" Remus nodded. "I remember he came back, afterwards, and…he just looked awful. He was so sad, and he was doing such stupid things, but…he wouldn't talk to me about it, not like…not like Dorcas had, not like I was used tom, and…I was terrified. I was sure he was going to do something stupid, and then of course when we were in Hogsmeade – that time with the giant – he did, and…I knew then. But I was so…I was scared he didn't feel the same way – "

"You're joking!" Remus said.

"Not even a little," Lily said. "I was…I couldn't stand to be…I wanted him to think I was amazing, and strong, and nothing ever went wrong because – I had this idea that I needed to be perfect or something, so…when he found out about Petunia… Anyway, days like this just remind me how lucky I am that we sorted it out."

"Yeah," Remus said, a little sadly. "I'm glad."

He didn't look it, but before Lily could pursue the question they were interrupted. Arthur Weasley joined them, looking exhausted. He nodded at Lily and shook hands with Remus, saying, "Thank you for coming. Molly's going to go to bed in a moment…"

"We're very sorry," Lily said.

He nodded, smoothing the thinning hair on top of his head distractedly. "Gideon and Fabian were brave men," he said, "They knew…I was very fond of them."

Remus nodded, and after a moment Lily stood, grateful for his hand at her back, helping her keep her balance. Trying to smile at Arthur Weasley she gave him his daughter. He sighed looking at her face and said, "We're very grateful for…that you came to us so soon."

Lily nodded. "It was the least we could do. And we…really very sorry."

There was little else to be said, and within seconds Remus and Lily were walking back down the drive. The house was quiet as they left, the only noise the buzzing of bees in the garden, and Lily couldn't but hate the silence. Trying to smile at Remus, she said, "Do you want to come back with me? After...what's happened, I think it would be good if we all-"

"No." Remus said sharply. "I don't think I should."

"Oh. Well," Lily said, feeling awkward, "If you're sure. You know you're welcome."

Remus shrugged, and Lily hurried on, "I should get back anyway." She paused, and then kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Take care, all right."

"Yeah," Remus said. For a moment Lily thought he was going to say something, but he seemed to cut himself off and then added, "You should really go."

"Okay," Lily said, slightly baffled at his apparent coldness, especially in his tone.

He said nothing, and so, she flicked her wand and Apparated home. It was good to get back, even after such an awful day, and she hurried into the house as quickly as possible.

Sirius and James were in the sitting room, James playing with Harry while they talked, and Lily smiled to see all three of them looking so happy. Happy that was until Harry caught sight of her. He screwed up his face instantly, starting to yell, and stretched out his arms, asking to be picked up.

James looked outraged, and said, "The little liar. He was fine until Mum came barging in."

"Well," Lily said, taking Harry onto her knee and kissing his head, "That's because Mum's more fun than Dad."

"Sure," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

Lily glared at him and he lifted his hands defensively. "I'm just saying."

She rubbed her eyes and said, "I don't care; I'm too tired for this."

James looked concerned. "How did they take it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. As well as you can I suppose." She sighed and said, "I can't believe they're dead." Since Harry showed signs of being bored, she put him down on the floor, and laid her head on James' chest – as he wrapped his arms around her, Lily watched Harry crawling over to Sirius, who managed, for once, to look as if he wasn't terrified.

Lily sighed again, and smiled up at James. "At least Remus was there," she said.

James sat up sharply, and Lily had to struggle to keep from falling off the sofa. "What's the matter with you?" she said.

James had caught Sirius' eye, and turned back to her a moment later, saying, "Remus was at the house?"

"Yeah," Lily said. "He helped me…tell Molly Weasley. What?"

Sirius looked worried and said, "How did he know you were going to be there?"

"He didn't – at least, I don't think he did – he said he knew, or his father knew, Arthur Weasley, so…he went. Now, just explain to me, why is this important?"

James took her hand, and said, "Well, the thing is…we've been talking about it, the three of us…"

"The three of you?"

"Me, Sirius and Peter, and we thought…you remember what Dorcas said."

"She said a lot of things."

"Well," James said patiently, "One of them was…that there could be a spy, in the Order."

"That was just Dorcas taking a…a wild guess."

"No it wasn't, Lily – you know that. Just think about what's happened since Christmas even, or before – the Order's been decimated, half of them people…people who weren't associated with Dumbledore in any way."

"So?" Lily said, though she knew what was coming.

"So…we think Remus is the spy."

"But…why? Where would you get that idea?"

"Think about it Lily," Sirius said, his voice harsh, "All those weird absences…him being so distant with everyone…and the things he's been saying."

"I don't believe he said any of those things," Lily said desperately, "I think Peter misunderstood, or something. What on earth would Remus gain from any of that – he's a halfblood, and a werewolf, and…there's just no way he could ever think…"

"I don't know, Lily," James said, "Voldemort made noises…about freedom for his friends, and 'an end to discrimination against werewolves' and all kinds of things – if Remus wants that, well…I can't exactly blame him."

"But, you saw what he looked like the day he found out about Greyback, James, he was devastated…" She paused trying to marshal her thoughts in a way that would at least be coherent. "What would he really gain from it?"

Sirius looked angry. "We know what he'd get, Lily – it's bloody obvious what he wants."

"Well what is it then?" She said angrily.

"You! He wants you."

Lily sat back in her chair, nearly speechless with shock. It took her several seconds to say, "Nonsense."

"No it isn't, Lily – it's been staring you in the face for years, even you're too…blind to see it."

"I am not blind," Lily said, "I'm telling you, Remus is not…in love with me, and he never has been. I would know, Sirius, I'd see it."

"Because you have such an amazing ability to tell how men feel about you, is that it?"

His tone was mocking, and Lily stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, how long did it take you to figure out about James – and that was only ten years in the making."

"That's not the same," Lily said slowly.

"Why? Why isn't it the same, Lily," Sirius said, sounding increasingly unstable, "I mean, Dorcas was the same wasn't she?"

"No, it wasn't," she said, trying not to lose her temper. "I was seventeen, Sirius, and my parents had died, and I'd never had…it was the first time anyone…But I would know – I'm not that young any more. And I'm telling you, Remus isn't in love with me."

"That isn't exactly so," James said slowly, refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't know… I'm the last person Remus would talk to, but when we were in school it was obvious enough. Who's to say that since then…it's not like you've been treating him badly, Lily?"

"You can't be serious." Lily said. "He's your friend – he gave me away."

James looked at her then. "Of course I'm serious. I mean Lily, maybe you're right and I'm wrong – God knows I hope you are – but we can't risk it. Why do you think we've had to leave our homes in the dead of night three times this summer? How many people even know where we are, on any given day? Someone is passing that information along, and we don't know, and we have to stay safe, Lily. We can't risk that Remus is the traitor, not now."

Slowly she nodded, for he was right. Even though she believed, with all her heart, that Remus was not the spy…it was just too dangerous. "All right then," she said, "What do we do?"

Sirius looked relieved and said, "We talk to Dumbledore, find out what…find out if there's some way, some form of protection he hasn't told us about."

"Okay." Lily said, feeling her heart clench as Harry attempted to pull himself into a standing position, using Sirius' legs for leverage.

None of them wanted to discuss it any further – it had been a long, awful day – and James made dinner for them. It wasn't easy to keep conversation going – Gideon and Fabian were still on her mind – but Harry's antics, spilling water on the floor and mashing potato into his hair, were enough to keep them reasonably amused till he had to go to bed.

Lily brought him up, his chunky little body comfortably solid in her arms. Humming a tune to herself she tucked him into the bed in her and James' room – it was safer to keep him with them – and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight love."

Harry blinked at her, and took a lock of her hair in one chubby fist, " 'Ni…Mum" he said.

Lily gasped, and stared at him, trying to be certain she had really heard it. Suddenly she found tears running down her cheeks, though she was trying to smile, and after kissing him again she had to go wash her face.

Bending her head over the bathroom sink she found herself crying harder, and trying desperately to stop. "Mum, I'm his mum, I've got to…" She was sobbing hard, all her thoughts focused on that frail body in the next room, that boy who needed her to be alive, more than anything. "I've got to protect him, I've got to, I've got to…"

It took her several minutes to regain her composure. Lily couldn't blame herself for being frightened, being terrified of what the future could bring, but she couldn't fall apart, not now. Harry needed her.

So, she washed her face, scrubbed it hard with a cloth and strong soap, and dried with a rough towel, so that her skin was pink and glowing by the time she was done. She nodded sharply at Lily-in-the-mirror, and went back down stairs.

Just outside the door of the kitchen she heard James say, "And Sirius…if anything happens to me, you'll…take care of them."

Slamming the door open, Lily stared at him. "Don't you dare."

"What?" Sirius said, bewildered as to why she was addressing him.

"Don't you dare say yes to him – you know what it means – and don't you dare think it James, not once, not even once."

"Think what, Lily?" James said, doing a very admirable job of sounding calm.

"Think that you can…that if something happened you could just…sacrifice yourself, like it wouldn't matter. Like I wouldn't need you, and Harry wouldn't? So don't dare, because…I'm telling you now, James, I don't want anyone except you, 'taking care of me' – that's your job."

Lily might even have burst into tears at this point, might have hit him, for giving in, when she was so scared she might do the same, but then, in time-honoured manner, something happened.

Naturally, since they'd been living in a horrible house, in horrible East Anglia, they'd used every defensive charm they knew, every alarm and ward that was in the books. So when a siren rang out, they knew someone, some unauthorised person, had tried to Apparate into the house. They hadn't got in, but it would only be a matter of time.

James and Sirius started, and a moment later, James said, "Lily, Godric's Hollow. We'll stay down here, fight them off until we know you've gone."

She nodded, and raced Harry's bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time. Thinking quickly, she activated the charm she'd put on their trunks, so that they would pack themselves, and picked Harry up out of his cot, taking care to take his special blanket with him. Sirius and Peter would come back for their trunks the next morning, but Harry had to have his blanket.

The moment she had Harry in her arms, she flicked her wand. To Godric's Hollow then they were to go.

Author's Note

This is the second last chapter, but for various reasons I wanted to put this note in here. I'm considering writing a few…missing moments, so to speak from this story, and though I have a few in mind already, I'm interested to know if there are any, in particular, that people would like to read. I can't guarantee that they'll be written soon, but I will get to them as quickly as possible – so, if there's anything you'd like to know, please let me know in review.