You're the One That I Love

"Jonathan?" I hiss. "Is that you?"

"Clary... Help..."

I look around the darkness frantically. I don't see anyone.

"Jonathan, where are you? I can't see you!"

"I'm right here, Clary. Right here."

"Where?"

"Look more carefully."

But there's only darkness. I try to follow his voice, but it seems to be everywhere. It's so confusing. Where am I, and how did I get here?

"Clary? Are you still there?"

I try to tell him that I'm still here, but no voice comes out from my throat.

"Clary! Don't leave me alone! Please come back!"

I'm right here, Jonathan. I won't leave you.

"No!" I hear him sobbing. "Please, no..."

His voice fades into just an echo. I reach beneath me to feel along the floor, but suddenly, I don't feel anything. Am I floating in the air? But just as the thought hits, I fall.

A cold bead of sweat rolls down my forehead. I blink a few times, thinking about Sebastian. Should I go talk to him? Or should I just stay here for the sake of my already broken heart?

I look at the blue and white dress placed neatly on the bed beside me. I don't think he'll hurt me tonight. I don't think he lied when he said he canceled the plan. But I still think he'll break my heart sooner or later.

Burying my face in the pillow, I try to chase the thought of him away. But I can't. I miss him already. I miss the boy who laughed with me. Who talked with me and watched Home Alone with me. Who I kissed. I want to kiss that boy again so bad, but I also don't want to. I want to kiss the boy with green eyes. The boy in my dream.

But what if Sebastian is right? What if that boy doesn't exist at all? What if it was just all Sebastian? But does it matter? Because from what I know, I do love someone. I just don't know who that someone is.

Or maybe I do. Maybe I just don't want to admit it.

Shaking my head, I get up. No time for this. Gotta find out what the fire means. But then again, Sebastian told me his plan, and... What's the use of everything now?

I stumble for my phone, quickly calling Ms. Inkster.

"Clary? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for calling you so early. I just... Continued watching the movie I was talking about? Well, the guy told the girl about his plan that involves many people's death, and he told her that he would cancel it because he loves her, but she doesn't know whether to believe him or not."

"Wait, why can't the girl believe him?"

"Because he's... Evil. And manipulative."

"Everything in the world is manipulative, Clary. The woman that you call mom might not be her, and pretending to be so she can get to kill you when you reach twenty."

"What? How many movies have you watched?"

"Okay, maybe I went a little far with that. But then think about this. How do you trust me?"

"Because you are the school psychologist!"

"That's true, I mean it and don't get me wrong. But I could have just killed the real one and giving you bad advices to ruin your life. You can't trust anyone, Clary. Theoretically, you can't even go outside, or eat something that you didn't make, or even wear new clothes. But you do all that, don't you?"

I remain silent, not sure what she's trying to tell me.

"Heartbreak is inevitable, Clary. No one escapes it. It's just whether you can fight it or not. I think she is brave enough to face it. And so are you and me."

"I think I know what you're talking about."

"Good. Now can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is there really a movie? I know what I just told you, but I just want to be sure a cop or two are outside your house."

"Yes, it is just a movie."

"Look, if you need some help, don't be afraid to ask for it. And be safe, okay?"

"I said it's just a movie!"

"I know, I know," she laughs.

Hanging up, I run into his room. He wakes up, even though I tried my best not to make any noise.

"Breakfast already?" He asks, sitting up.

"No. How about we go to Taki's?"

"We as in... You and me?"

I nod, tossing him some clothes.

"Be out in five."

I rush outside, closing the door behind me and leaning against it. Did I make the right choice? For now, I think. For now.

I wrap my jacket around me more tightly while sipping my coffee. It's a little cold in here. Sebastian and I haven't talked at all, and it's really awkward.

"So... You liking your sandwich?" He asks, breaking the silence.

I nod.

"You?" I ask after a pause.

"Pretty good."

We go back into the silent mode. His eyes are on his coffee, tapping the cup unconsciously.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you that I..." I don't continue. Can't.

"You what?"

"Trust you," I say.

An emotion flashes in his eyes, but disappears soon. But what emotion, I can't tell.

"Okay. That's good."

"More like, I decided to trust you. Because it won't do any good even if I don't."

Nodding, he takes another bite of his sandwich.

"Aren't you happy?"

"Of course I am," he says, but not convincingly. "I am happy that you trust me."

"Decided to," I correct him.

Smiling, he reaches out to grab my hand.

"I don't see the difference."

I narrow my eyes, but don't pull my hands away. It's good to hold his hand again.

I think... You might be the one I'm in love with. Just might be...

"Clary! You're here!" Izzy exclaims.

"Of course I am..." I mumble.

"Here. Come this ways. I already thought of your makeup. Come on, we don't have much time left."

"We have like four hours, Iz."

"Just come, will you?"

Sighing, I follow her.

"Just please don't make me look like a slut or an idiot."

"Do I look like a slut or an idiot to you?" She asks, motion at her face.

"No, but that's just your thing. I don't go along with makeups."

"Trust me, you're going to look great."

She sits me down on a chair, fussing with my face and my hair. And it takes hours for her to finish. When she's done, she lets me look in the mirror. I have to admit, I actually look better than I imagined. I thought she would change my entire face, but no, I'm still Clary, the girl who draws and reads for fun. Not pretty or something, but more striking and noticeable. But there's no way in the hell I'm telling that to Izzy.

"Great, I just figured out that there's know way for me to be pretty."

"Oh, come on, Clary. You know you look great."

"I do not."

She raises an eyebrow.

"Fine. Maybe a little better."

"I knew it! Now put on that dress so I can see how it goes along with your makeup."

Rolling my eyes, I put them on carefully, not to ruin my hair.

"Perfect, perfect, perfect," she says, eyeing my blue and white dress that reaches my mid-thigh.

"You said it's old and weird."

"That's what's called not-really-knowing-but-saying-it-anyways-because-you-want-to, darling. Come on, let's go to the party now."

"Iz, you're not coming with me, remember?"

"Oh, right..." She sighs. "Just tell me what the boys thought of your makeup, okay?"

Rolling my eyes, I stand up.

"It's just a small party, Iz."

"A lot happens in a small party."

"Was that supposed to be prophetic?"

"Just go and have some fun, okay?"

Smiling, I nod. But I can't chase away the nervousness.

The room is crowded, and I can't find anyone I'm close with. Or Sebastian. Careful not to spill anyone's drink, I slowly proceed to the corner of the room.

A sudden though occurs. Why am I here? Maybe I should just go back.

"Clary?" Someone taps me on my shoulder.

I turn around, finding Derek.

"Hey! It's so good to see you! I mean, I just didn't know anyone, and I'm just glad that you- okay, I'll stop rambling."

"Okay, good. I just thought you might want to know that... Sebastian is here."

"I know that."

"And... Today is the winter solstice."

"I realize that too. But Derek, listen. You don't have to worry about it. I just know it, okay?"

"But-"

"I'm serious. Just forget about the note. Trust me, everything's going to be okay."

"How do you know this, though?"

"I just do."

He nods silently.

"Good. Now let's just go for a dance," I say, dragging him to the dance floor.

I put my hands on his shoulder while his rests on my waist.

"Listen to me, okay?" I hiss, my voice low. "I'll tell you what's going on, so pretend to be lost in the music."

He nods slightly.

"He-Sebastian-was planning to make a demon. The strongest one that can take down the world. He needed me and Lucas for the ceremony. It's supposed to happen today, but Sebastian told me that he canceled it. He won't do it again. Because he loves me."

"Demons don't-"

"Shh! Keep your head and your voice down, okay?"

"Sorry," he murmers, lowering his head.

"I think he does."

"How do you trust him?"

"I don't! God, how can I? But I have to, Derek. I have to, so I will."

"Why do you have to?"

"Because... Because... It's complicated."

"Every inch of this is complication," he sighs.

"I think... I think..." I might be in love with him.

"You think what?"

"Never mind."

"Is there more to the story?" He asks.

"No. You know all of it. Do you believe me when I say nothing is going to happen tonight?"

"Fine. But don't let your guards down."

"Derek-"

"I think... We should stop dancing if you said all you wanted to say."

"Why? Is Trey...?"

"Yes, but also your brother."

I flinch at the venom in his voice. I can't blame him, though.

"Where are they?"

"Trey to your left, and he is behind you."

Nodding, I pull away from him.

"Everything's going to be fine."

"I know... Just be careful still, okay?"

Smiling, I begin walking to Sebastian. I see him, grinning faintly. When I'm sure Derek can't see me anymore, I start talking to him.

"You're here," I say, although I knew he'd be.

"I am."

"How did you-"

"A little bit of glamour, I guess."

"You weren't lying when you said... You canceled it, right?"

"Of course I wasnt. Can I have this dance?"

I nod, smiling. I believe him. I do.

Do you believe Sebastian? Clary does, for sure. I'm really nervous for some reason about ending this story. I have the next chapter and the epilogue written out, and... Well... Yeah... Hope you liked this chapter, and I'll update again really, really soon!