o.o.O.O.o.o
Miranda's POV
"Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction, ice
Is also great
And would suffice."
-Robert Frost
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
In the world there are secrets and lies. They are often used interchangeably; people mistaken secrets for lies though. The problem is, is that a secret isn't a lie, technically…at least, not until someone asks the individual about the secret or if there is a secret at all. At that point, is the secret still a lie? No. The lie is situated the simple yes or no that answers questions such as "is it about me?" or it is present in the 'secret' told to cover up the real secret. Brot knew this much, which is exactly why he would refuse to believe Robert Collins former reply to his question: "a higher up told me to close it."
"Honest answer. Why did you close Bianca Montgomery's case?"
Collins remained emotionless, unfazed by Brot's question and his deliverance of it.
"I told you-"
"Yeah, I'm not buying it."
"It's the truth."
"Is it?"
Brot stared down Robert like a lion hidden in tall grass, just waiting to pounce on his prey. His subtle expression gave rise to the former Chief's distress in the situation. He wasn't used to being interrogated; he was always the one asking the questions. He never though he'd find himself in this situation.
"Excuse me?" He asked, not wanting to give away his anxiety.
Brot had been hunched over the table, glaring at Robert Collins. His palms were practically glued to the surface and the moment the other man responded, Brot raised his eyebrows and sighed. He pushed himself away from the table and crossed his arms, standing in a way that made him look superior.
"Here's the thing Collins. We have more that enough evidence to convict your wife of being behind Bianca Montgomery's disappearance. Not to mention the harassment…the number of torturous hours where Mrs. Montgomery was brutally beaten." Brot said, placing down photographs taken of Bianca's x-rays and unsightly bruises, cuts and areas of swelling from when she was recovering at the Miranda Centre Safe House. "I also have some insider knowledge that she's connected to these. Apparently she's been speaking to a doctor a couple of towns over for treating her with a couple of broken ribs and a bruised fibula. And Bianca Montgomery says in her statement that she had managed to defend herself against one of her attackers by beating their ribs and leg with a sharp item. I find it too coincidental. But there's a small piece of this puzzle that could easily shift the focus from your ex-wife to you."
Brot waited to see the change in Collins's face. He caught a glimpse of protest in the other man's features.
"Wha-?"
"It's quite simple, actually." Brot reasoned as he interrupted Robert from speaking. "You see Marissa Tasker just so happened to be your ex-wife's attorney during your divorce. She proposed a decent settlement from what I've seen, but you felt you deserved more. You had an all out battle in court and you lost. So, of course it seems logical to a cop that motivation would be to take away the one thing that means the most to Marissa Tasker. I mean her kids is too cruel, but her wife? Why not? You stated yourself there was a time when you would categorize Tamara Hendersen as the centre of your world. To take her wife away from her when you not only lost your own wife to another woman, but a vast amount of your money…not to mention your pride-"
"What's your point?"
Brot bent down again, leaning on the table.
"C'mon Collins. You were a cop once. You should know this. …Motive."
"'Motive?'"
"Yes, 'motive'! You had the perfect cover up. Easy access to the case files and you closing it would only cover your ass-"
"OKAY! FINE!"
Brot raised his eyebrows again at Robert's outburst.
"Okay then." He said. "Tell me."
He sighed and ran a nervous hand through his hair.
"Okay… You and I both know that I have a history with covering up my ex-wife's mistakes and there's a reason for that. It was actually the reason I resigned as Chief before anyone could find it out and to this day no one except Tammy. That is why I always helped her out…because she was always there for me. Had I known before that it would all come down to this, I would have never helped her…" Robert hesitated before he continued. "I had a…drug problem. It had gotten so bad at one point that it was affecting the way I worked. It had already escalated by the time Bianca Montgomery was reported missing. At that time I truly was putting everything I could into finding her. I even questioned J.R Chandler and attempted to accuse him of having an outside worker. But the asshole had nothing… Next thing I know I've got my ex-wife coming to me, threatening me. She told me to close the case, pronounce her dead or she'd make my life a living hell. Remember how I told you she could flip her switch from sweet to bitch in a matter of milliseconds? Well, when you're hopped up on heroin and your ex comes in and threatens you with your job, telling you that they'll tell your superiors about your personal life? Me? I got scared and did what she told me to."
"And why would she want you to close the case?"
Collins sighed.
"Think about it Chief. You're a cop."
Brot had one coherent thought form in his head.
Marissa Tasker.
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Marissa was coming home from her dinner with Kendall. The two of them had spoken at great lengths about the developing relationship between Bianca and Maggie. She had tried to steer their conversation away from that topic because it hurt to even discuss it within her own head, let alone out loud and to her sister-in-law. Marissa had conflicting emotions playing a severe game with her mind. The toll it took on her had developed into a physical display of a cascade of tears kissing her cheeks as they left her eyes. It had come to her like a shockwave – everything hit her so suddenly. Kendall had said it herself. Doesn't it worry you what could happen if, in fact, she does go back to Maggie? She's been with her almost every night this week…so where does that leave you Red? Marissa knew that she wanted…needed to shut those words out, but the moment they left Kendall's mouth, they were the only things she could hear or care about. Luckily it was as they were leaving the restaurant.
What am I supposed to do? Force her to stay with me? What's gonna happen to the kids? Marissa forced herself to take a deep breath. Nothing was set in stone yet. She could still feel the taste of Bianca's kiss from earlier that day. She still felt that she was doing the right thing by giving her wife the space she needed. And if Bianca felt that that time needed to be spent with her ex then Marissa felt compelled to trust that things would work out for both of them. Even in that moment earlier that day.
"You're all mine tomorrow, huh?"
Marissa watched as a full grin formed, slowly, on Bianca's face as she nodded.
"Mmhmm…"
She couldn't tear her eyes away from the brunette. The expression of sheer happiness on her face was enough to keep Marissa entranced. The goofy grin written on Bianca's lips was more than enough to have her mirroring her look.
"Okay…good…"
"'Good?'" Bianca asked as she leaned forward slightly, inching her face towards Marissa's.
"Y-yes…" The redhead barely muttered.
"Just 'good'?" She moved closer and closer, her voice becoming softer and softer. The moment she heard Marissa give way to a conquering sigh, Bianca made her lips descend onto Marissa's. The lawyer took a hold of her wife's face, trying to anchor herself to something. As her lips danced vehemently across Marissa's, Bianca lowered her hand to the redhead's leg, lifting it to rest on the couch. Their bodies responded, following the other's like a familiar sway. Bianca had Marissa beneath her and, gently, pushed her backwards so she could lie back. The redhead placed her other hand on Bianca's hip, slowly trailing it up to her waist and made an attempt to pull their bodies closer together.
"Wait…" Marissa murmured against her love's lips, only to keep her focus on kissing the woman she loved.
"What?" Bianca said, never letting their lips part. She snuck her hand under Marissa and pulled her up.
"The…the kids. What if-"
"They're sleeping." Bianca said quickly and smiled as she took Marissa's upper lip between her own. She gave it a small nip and licked it. It had sent the redhead into a frenzied bout of zeal and had her forcing Bianca down in the opposite direction.
She could feel her pulse racing at the mere memory of Bianca touching her. She remembered the way it felt to be under her gaze, warm and certain; playful yet loving. She couldn't comprehend why she was filled with doubt. It took over her like a cold fever, making her shake with anxiety and turning her warm skin into a now wintry surface, draining the colour from it.
Marissa had come to a stop sign and as she turned onto the familiar road, what met her sight at the end of it had her panicking. It was like something out of a movie – but this was no movie. It was reality. Her reality. The loving and caring, secure area that was her and Bianca's house was being destroyed by a conflagration. Watching the house, she feared for her children. Those cold sweats seemed to turn red hot the moment her tires made contact with the driveway, at which point she saw Miranda, AJ, Nathan and Sofia covered in black smoke. She saw Miranda and nearly heaved at the sight of her arm. She frantically killed her engine and exited the car.
"OH MY GOD!" She yelled and ran to the kids. "Wh-are you?"
"Yeah, Ma we're fine." AJ said. She bent down to check Sofia and Nathan who hugged her tightly and when they released her grip on them, she noticed the way Miranda's brave face turned white and fell. Following her gaze, she looked and saw Maggie's car. Her breath caught in her throat when she realized that Maggie's arrival didn't signify a drop-off, but a pick-up. Maggie exited the car and looked up at the once beautiful colonial house crumbling under the burning embers. It's 8:30…it's 8:30… Bianca's supposed to be with her, but no one's with her. She looks scared. Why does she look scared? Where's Bianca? Marissa looked from Maggie to the house and felt the plunging drop of her fear and doubt and everything in her become heavy as she had an epiphany. No… No… No, no, no! No! She can't be… No…I can't…lose her. No… Why isn't she with Maggie?
"AND WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU UNTIL NOW?" Marissa yelled to Maggie as she realized that Bianca was in the house still.
Marissa took off in a sprint that could defy the laws of nature; as she took off in a sprint to save the one constant and the one love that defied chance, heartbreak and even death.
"Mom!" Miranda yelled. AJ stopped her and ran after Marissa.
"Mom!" Marissa didn't stop running. She ran around the perimeter of the burning house, down the side and to the back door of the basement. "Mom! WAIT!" Marissa turned around and coughed as she felt the small bit of smoke going into her lungs.
"AJ, go back. I'm gonna get her out. Stay with Miranda and the twins. Don't follow me." Marissa approached the door and saw it wide open. Someone did this.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here."
Marissa nodded, not wanting to waste anymore time arguing with her son. He was safe. The rest of her kids were safe. Now, she needed Bianca to be safe. Taking what she could of a deep breath, Marissa ran through the door, only to have her vision consumed by a burning blaze everywhere she turned. But she wouldn't let it stop her. She knew this basement better than anyone and she knew exactly where Bianca would be. Keeping her arms over her face, trying to conserve every amount of oxygen she could, she ran through the fire. Please be okay. She kept saying to herself. She felt a burning sensation on her hip as she neared the centre of the open space of the basement. When she looked down to her right, the fabric covering side of her stomach had caught fire and burned a portion of her abdomen.
"DAMMIT!" She screamed and she pulled her jacket off, tossing it into the flames. The orange light chewed it up and she continued to move. From above, she could hear the creaking of the beams of the roof begin to give way. She looked up and dropped to the floor, wincing in pain as her fresh burn took a hit. She screamed in agony, only to have her hand collide with the table, which now emitted a smoldering heat. She pulled her hand away instantly, trying not to burn any other portion of her body. Marissa stood and coughed heavily, unable to take anymore smoke. She surveyed her surroundings and through the small, gracious path ahead of her, a little to the right, she saw Bianca's closed door. She has to be there. She thought. Not letting anything else stop her, Marissa made a run for the closed door.
When she got to it, she hadn't the slightest idea what would be on the other side. The door was closed and when she put her hand to the knob, it was blistering hot. Covering her mouth with her arm to choke out another cough from the wisps of smoke that tackled her lungs, Marissa lifted her leg and kicked the door in. She watched as it crumbled to the floor, allowing the already glowing flames eat away at it. She looked to the bed where Bianca was fast asleep, or so it looked. The fire hadn't gotten to her just yet, surprisingly, but she wasn't questioning it.
"Shit." She whispered before she ran to Bianca's side. She placed two fingers to her carotid artery.
Pulse is there.
Marissa tried to shake Bianca, hoping it would wake her up.
"Bianca! Bianca c'mon!"
She heard the creak above her again and then came the sound of a ceiling tumbling to the ground. She peered outside of Bianca's door and watched it fall. She continued to shake her wife who still wouldn't wake.
"Bianca! Please! C'mon!" Still nothing. "Baby! C'mon!" Tears started to form behind her hazel eyes and she grew desperate. "Please! …BIANCA! PLEASE!"
"Huh?" Bianca's eyes fluttered momentarily and the she began to cough hysterically.
With all of the strength she could muster, Marissa stripped Bianca of her sweater and lifted the brunette off of the bed.
"C'mon. We gotta get outta here! Can you walk?"
Bianca tried to help Marissa out, but her body tensed at the fire that surrounded them. She continued to cough and did her best to follow Marissa, but she felt as if the redhead was practically carrying her out of the room. The brunette dragged her feet, but tried to move quickly. She felt numb and nearly paralyzed with fear. Another groan came from above. Bianca looked up through half open lids and before she knew what was happening, she felt her body being pummeled to the ignited floors. She felt a weight fall on top of her and a piercing shriek of pain in her ears. Marissa had yelled, but why Bianca couldn't understand. Within second, Marissa was pulling her back to her feet and had her arms wrapped around her. The next thing she knew, her right leg had gone up in flames. She screamed at the pain, but watched, groggily, as Marissa bent down to help her. That's when she saw the nearly charred flesh of Marissa's back.
Looking down at the redhead, she felt cold and saw the pale complexion Marissa's skin had taken, even in the light of the flames.
"Riss-"
"C'mon!" She said and wrapped her arm around Bianca once more. Once they reached the door, they were practically in a sprint.
The pair of them tumbled out of the fire and onto the grass outside of the house. AJ had seen them and at the sight of his mothers, he ran to them.
"AJ, take Bianca. Be careful. Go!"
AJ did as he was told. Bianca felt herself being lifted off of the ground and soon her vision became all the more blurred. She watched as Marissa faded into the distance, falling onto the grass at the side of the house. No! She thought. When she breathed in and her lungs weren't met with the thick, heavy fog that was consuming her room, but the fresh oxygen they required, she coughed heavily and then there was nothing.
Nothing but black.
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Griff smirked and chuckled as he wrapped Miranda's arm with gauze, finishing up.
"What's so funny?" Miranda asked, clearly not amused.
"Nothing, nothing it's just… What is it with you and your left arm? I think I've bandaged it up more time in the last two months than ever before."
Miranda gave Griff a small smirk. He had a point. And despite the timing of his remark, she couldn't help but acknowledge the absurdity of her situation.
"You shouldn't have waited a whole 24 hours to treat this."
"I was a little preoccupied."
"Miranda, are you okay?"
Miranda looked up and saw Maggie. Her eyes were cold as she regarded the older woman and sighed. Now she notices?
"Better than my both my moms." She said. She turned to Griffin. "You done?"
Griff nodded and Miranda took off the to room to her left.
"Bianca's in there?" Maggie asked.
"Yeah. So you were there afterwards?"
Maggie nodded.
"Yeah. I was supposed to pick Bianca up at 7:00 but…"
"But?"
"I'm a doctor too, Dr. Castillo. I have patients in Paris that need my attention as well. I was called into a conference call that couldn't wait according the board and it was about one of my patients. Bianca understood. It was supposed ot be our night."
Griff nodded.
"She's a very understanding woman… What was supposed to happen tonight?"
"I dunno," Maggie said sadly. "But she said she needed to talk to me. I think she was ready to let me back in. We spent every night together this week…"
"GRIFF!"
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
"No…no I can't lean on Marissa… Not anymore."
"Okay, am I missing something about you and Marissa? Because…I know how close the two of you are. You've become great friends. In fact, she even told me that, after everything with Ricky, she was gonna look out for you."
"Well, I don't want her to have to do that for me…"
"Binx! She is just as appreciative of you helping her getting out of that closet-"
"Okay, please, let's just, let's leave it alone… Marissa's…very busy with AJ…and J.R."
"Binx, c'mon! This is me, okay? …I can see it. I-I can see there is something, something is tearing you up inside. There is something going on with you and you have to tell me what it is…"
"There is a very good reason why I can't let Marissa get too close to me right now…"
"What possible reason?"
"…Iii'm…falling in love…with her?"
"Oh…wow!"
"Uff…I haven't said it out loud until now… Am I crazy?"
"Uh well…falling in love does make you a little crazy."
She wondered how she always found herself waking up in these places – hospitals. She hated them. Nothing good ever came of it. The last time she woke up in a hospital, she found out she had amnesia.
Bianca tried so hard to fight it. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to see anybody. She didn't want to think. But her mouth betrayed her.
"Mnnn…" She groaned. She refused to open her eyes, but she couldn't help it. That's when everything came flooding back to her. She could feel every inch of her body. Bianca tried to breathe, but it was too difficult. She ended up coughing to the point where she heaved. Her eyes opened and were met with a familiar face.
"Hey Bianca. Welcome back."
"Griff?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Thank God! You scared me Mom!"
Bianca looked to the direction of the voice and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Miranda?" She watched as her daughter smiled and nodded. Tears were forming in her eyes and as much as she wanted to run to her mother, she knew she couldn't.
"Do you know where you are?" Griff asked.
"Y-yeah…" Bianca said, looking past him to Miranda, who still smiled through her tears.
"Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"
"Uh…I was…I was waiting for Maggie, then there was a fire, and then… OH MY GOD! Where is she? Griff, PLEASE tell me she's okay! WHERE IS SHE?"
"Whoa, whoa! Bianca lay back down okay? Breathe. She's right here, don't worry."
Griffin motioned to the door. Bianca looked over to his directed arm. Her heart beat wildly in her chest with anticipation, but fell heavily when Maggie walked into her room.
"Bianca!" Maggie wrapped her arms, carefully, around the brunette. "I'm so sorry," Maggie said. Her words were muffled by Bianca's shoulder and tears ensued.
Bianca's face was expressionless.
Miranda watched her mother's look of confusion and the way she lifted a single arm and rested it on Maggie's back. She turned to Griffin as he looked down at her.
"That wasn't the 'she' she was referring to…Doc." Miranda whispered.
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Bianca sat up in her bed and stared at her leg. It was bandaged, but that didn't stop the pain from torturing her…neither did it quit her thoughts of Marissa. No one had come in to tell her anything.
"Hey." Bianca shot her head in the direction of the door. She saw Miranda's form gracing it. "Sorry if I startled you."
"N-no… How are you?"
"I'll survive. I uh, just wanted you to know that I'm taking off. Sofia, Nathan and I are gonna stay with Aunt Kendall and uncle Zach. They're okay. Just in dire need of a bath and uh… I called Gabby. She was distraught when she found out. She said her finals finish in a week so she's gonna come straight home."
Bianca nodded.
"Thank you," she whispered. Miranda stepped further into the room and planted a kiss on her mother's forehead.
"I'll see you first thing tomorrow, okay?" Miranda softly said. Bianca nodded and before she knew it, Griffin Castillo had filled Miranda's spot.
"Are you okay?" He asked. "Can I get you anything?"
There were so many answers to that question that filled Bianca's mind. She didn't know which one was the right one to ask. She wanted to know if Marissa was okay, what had happened to her. Her heart felt elevated by the mere thought of the redhead's smile, but it fell into a dark depth the moment she remembered the last time she had seen Marissa. It was blurry, but it was imprinted into her memory. She watched as AJ left her behind; as her wife fell to the ground in a heap. Then? Nothing…
Bianca hated herself for not saying anything sooner to Marissa. She thought back to her thoughts the previous morning. Should I tell her now? …No. Wait until everything is sorted with Maggie first… Why did I wait? I'm in love with her. I shouldn't have to explain to anyone. I should have just told her. I love her. Love only comes once in a while! Why would I wait? Why did I wait? Now look! I wanna see her…
"Bianca?"
"Huh? Oh…sorry… Umm…I wanna see Marissa."
Griffin sighed.
"Look, Bianca-"
"Please Griff! She's…she's my wife. I have to see her… I need to see her… Please…?"
"Okay…"
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Griffin had rolled Bianca in a wheelchair throughout the halls of Pine Valley Hospital. She stopped outside of a closed door and stood in front of her. He kneeled down and placed a comforting hand on Bianca's knee, as if he were trying to console her in some manner. Bianca became a little bit frightened at what she could possibly find behind that door.
"Okay… Uh… Marissa's condition is stable. Even though it's not critical, it's still a bit serious. Her burns aren't as bad as we originally thought, but they're still pretty bad. She's lying on a flat bed, on her stomach so the wounds can breathe and heal faster. She's in a coma…" Griffin said everything carefully and clearly. He gave Bianca a comforting squeeze when he noticed her tears falling. "The part of the ceiling that fell on her? We think it gave her a concussion. She hasn't woken up yet, but we don't think it'll be too long, okay?"
Bianca bit her lip and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and nodded. Dr. Castillo sighed and opened the door.
The sight that met Bianca's eyes only pushed her further into her pool of emotions. Her tears overwhelmed her, as she was rolled closer and closer into the room.
"Oh God," she whispered. Griffin situated her near Marissa's head. The redhead was still and it alarmed the brunette. "No, no, no…" Bianca said to herself. She leaned down and caressed Marissa's cheek before she lowered her lips to her wife's face, kissing her temple and letting it linger there for several seconds before returned to grazing Marissa's face. Bianca felt Marissa's skin beneath her hand. She's so cold. She sighed and wiped a few tears from her own face.
"This is my fault…" she said gently into the room. "Why didn't I just tell you everything yesterday? Why did I have to let you have doubts? We could've made so many new memories… I know they said you'll pull through, but I can't help the fact that I'm the reason you're here…like this… I did this to you… Baby, you have to wake up okay? I have so much to tell you."
…
"He's in a good mood…"
"Yeah…but you're not… I know why… I make you uncomfortable."
"No, you don't."
"Please. You practically hung up on me earlier, now you don't want to make weekend plans?"
"Tha-that's just a scheduling thing-"
"Bianca… I get it… You look at me, you see something that you want to forget… What Ricky did to us? How scared he made us? I don't blame you for not wanting to be around me-"
"Okay, that is not how it is-"
"But, listen! …If you need to avoid me, I just hope it's not for very long…because there would be a huge hole in my life if you're not in it."
Bianca took a deep breath as she came out of another memory.
"That's twice in one day… They're coming faster now. But you have to wake up because I have to tell you that I don't care anymore. I don't care about the memories I have because it doesn't matter what they are…when they come, who's in them… At the end of the day…it's you. You're the only one I see…you and our beautiful kids. You have to wake up so I can tell you that it's you… It was always you. I knew that, but I was scared. I tried to hold onto something I knew so I could feel safe, but you do that for me already. I put you through hell; first with not remembering you and then pulling away from you. Then I assumed we were having an affair and even thought you and I were terrible. But you were always honest with me… You never made me feel guilty for not being someone else. You accepted me from day one and you loved me just the same. And you made me fall in love with you all over again… I am so sorry for doing this to you…I don't deserve you, but you love me…You have to wake up. Please." Bianca leaned down again. She kissed Marissa's cheek, her nose, her eyes and her head. "Please," she said against Marissa's forehead. "It's not Maggie. It's you. It's not Maggie."
"Well, I guess that answers my question."
Bianca turned her body to look at the entrance and was met with a cold stare.
"Maggie."
-x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x-
Miranda's POV
"But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction, ice
Is also great
And would suffice."
Ice is a difficult surface. It's never stable, always slippery. There are moments when we glide a long it and find it quite pleasant. However, the moment we lose our balance and fall, that smooth surface hits us unlike anything else in our lives. The pain shoots up your spine and sometime you're left just lying there, trying figure out a way to stay standing the next time. It's destructive.
An ice-cold gaze – an unfriendly look
On thin ice – a risky situation (could lead to death)
Break the ice – an introduction to someone or something; another accomplice to destruction…
o.o.O.O.o.o
It's that time again… My final exams begin next week so I won't be updating so much until April 28th. I'm gonna write on my breaks, but I make no promises. Hope you enjoyed!