It's Christmas Day in the Bates/Smith household. Including some particular traditions of the writers :-)

After the initial shock of Joseph's news, it died down once Helen had discovered Sebastian was a fashion student. She welcomed her son's boyfriend with open arms. She swiftly sought out ideas for wedding dresses and Christening gowns. Tony was very quiet, not really engaging with his son. He much preferred to work his way through his Christmas present, the bottle of Jack Daniels John had bought him, much to Helen's protest. Once dinner had been dispensed with, the festivities were in full flow as the Queen's Speech neared at three.

'Right, the Queen will be on in a few minutes. Here are a few ground rules. Number one, no talking...'

'Mum,' Joseph interrupted.

'Non negotiable,' Helen replied before hitting a sleeping Tony. 'Number two, no snoring.'

'What?' Tony mumbled, reaching for his bottle.

'And number three, I expect everyone to join in the national anthem.' Searching for the remote control, Helen searched on the television looking for the on button before Matty toddled over and switched the TV on with relative ease.

'Sam on?' Matty asked, looking up at Helen and smiling.

'No my darling, after Queen Elizabeth has addressed the nation,' Helen replied, squinting as she studied the remote.

'Helen, just to clarify,' John began. 'I'm awake but I don't sing. So where does that leave me with ground rule three? My singing sounds more like talking, so would I be breaking rule one?'

'Ohh sssh John, it's starting.' Helen snapped, sitting down in her armchair.

'Shouldn't we stand for the national anthem?' John asked and received a glare from Helen in return. John looked at Anna who was shaking her head.

'Don't push your luck.' Anna smirked.

'Are you going to talk all the way through it?' Helen snapped as the opening bars of the God Save The Queen began to belt out of the TV. 'Rules people, rules!'

'Here Tony,' Martin whispered. 'Is she always like this?'

'Only on days that end in y.'

After the Queen's Speech, it was time for Matty's nap. Tony had passed out again, Olivia was chatting to Sebastian about wedding dresses and who in showbiz had had work done whilst Martin and Joseph were debating with Helen whether the monarchy really had a place in society anymore. Just to annoy her more than anything.

'Shall we pop out for a walk?' John asked, looking at the scene before him in the living room from the kitchen door as Anna loaded the dishwasher behind him.

'Yeah, why not.' Anna replied. 'Mum won't stop till she's won and that won't be pretty.'

John sneaked to the hallway to grab his and Anna's coats unnoticed before walking back into the kitchen, closing the door behind him. 'We'll go out the back way.'

'What? We can't go without saying goodbye.'

'Course we can, besides I want you to myself for a little bit. If we announce we are going for walk, there will be tag alongs. Tag alongs are bad. Alone time with Anna is good.' Anna laughed as John pushed her out of the back door, shutting it behind him. 'Alone at last.'

Deciding on a stroll through the local park, John and Anna sat on the swings, watching some children trying out their new toys. Suddenly, John's phone went off. It was a picture message from Robert.

'What is it?' Anna asked, looking at John as he began to laugh.

John showed Anna the screen, a picture of Robert sitting on top of a space hopper with the caption 'When in Rome...'

'He's mad,' Anna said. 'Do you often get pictures of him like that?'

'Only for the past twenty years. Don't knock it, at least he has clothes on in this picture.'

'Did he go with you to Tenerife when you were twenty five?' Anna asked, still intrigued by the story.

'Ahh, nice try,' John grinned. 'He did but I shall never divulge. Smile.' John said, holding his camera out in front of them to take a picture.

'But Tom Branson knows,' Anna moaned as John sent the picture back to Robert, with the caption, 'Escaped...'

'Yes, but he is also an idiot. We have to share our experiences so we can keep the idiot flame burning..'

'What a load of rubbish. Tell me so we can bond.' Anna continued.

'I'll give you something to bond with me over in bed later,' John winked before Anna slapped him. 'What? I was talking about the very interesting book you're parents gave me.'

'Patriot Games? Why don't we just watch the film, that way I can admire Harrison Ford...'

'Ahh, so you do have a thing for older men?'

'Actually, I meant his acting.'

'Right yeah, because I admire Beyonce for her large...' Anna shot him a look before he continued. 'voice. Her large voice.'

'I love how we always have such insightful and revealing conversations.' Anna said before focusing on a spot on the side of his head. Reaching behind his ear, John grabbed her wrist.

'What are you doing?' John asked hesitantly, peering at her out of the side of his eye.

'You have a grey hair,' Anna said matter of factly.

'What!' John exclaimed, jumping out of the swing. 'I knew we shouldn't have had your mother to stay. It's not good for a man to be on edge.'

Anna's phone began to ring as John brushed his hair back into place. 'Anna May Smith, where in God's name are you?'

'It's mother,' she mouthed to John before answering. 'We went for a walk.' Anna laughed as she watched John look at his hair in his reflection on the slide.

'We wondered where you were,' Helen said.

'Aww, where you worried about us?' Anna asked.

'No, I didn't like the thought of the idea that you'd sloped off to bed with a houseful of guests.' Helen snapped back.

'Okay mum, if you don't like the idea of me and John in bed together how are we ever going to have grandkids?'

'Don't be a smart Alec, Anna. Just get home now. We have Vol-Au Vents to prepare for tea.' Anna hung up before rolling her eyes.

'Come here,' John said, holding out his arms. Anna walked towards him and he pulled her into his embrace.

'I almost feel bad for accepting your proposal, you've got a lifetime of her as a mother in law to look forward to.'

'It's alright,' John replied. 'I've got the same idea as your Dad, those bottles of JD were two for twelve quid. I intend to sleep through this evening. Then we'll work on the rest of my life.' John felt Anna's sides shaking with laughter. 'With you by my side, I can do anything. Even put up with your mother.' John continued. 'But they are definitely going home the day after boxing day, right?'

'Yes John,' Anna sighed. 'Why do I have to have a mother who is such a control freak.'

John looked to the heavens for a moment, eyes closed as they stood in silence. He kissed the side of Anna's head before replying. 'Look at it this way Anna. I'd love for my mother to still be here today. We shouldn't really complain. Go home, give her a big hug, nod and smile in the right places. And if all that fails, worry not. The Irishman in me has ensured there is enough JD to go around.'

Anna and John walked arm in arm back from the park, John not wanting to antagonise his mother in law anymore than he had to. As their house came into view, Anna tilted her head as she tried to take in the view ahead of them. Her Dad and Sebastian were standing beside Seb's car, bonnet open talking intently. As they got nearer, the conversation became audible.

'So you rebuild classic cars?' Tony asked.

'Yeah, my Dad was a mechanic.' Sebastian shrugged. 'It kind of rubbed off.' They both turned as they felt a presence behind them. 'Hi guys, nice walk?' Sebastian asked.

'Yeah,' Anna said, smiling up at John.

'Sebastian's telling me about his hobbies.' Tony replied, filling John and Anna in on what they had missed. 'Rebuilding cars is one of them.'

'Aww, you'll be Dad's best friend for life now,' Anna smiled at Sebastian before squeezing her Dad on the arm. 'I best get in and see Mum.'

John stopped, standing in the middle of Sebastian and Tony, examining what was under the bonnet of Seb's car. 'Do you know much about cars, John?' Tony asked.

'Only that mine gets me from A to B,' John replied, before following Anna inside.

'So you're eyes met over a pile of bagged cement and that was it,' Olivia cooed. She was chatting to Joseph in the living as Anna and John walked in to announce their return. Anna continued into the kitchen as John stopped in the living room. 'That's so romantic.'

'Thank God you're back,' Martin said, standing up and walking towards John. 'I've had Helen, Olivia and Sebastian talking about the benefits of botox and you're future father in law talking my ear off about his thimble collection. The most interesting conversation I've had is Matty asking me in his round about way for another drink.'

'Sorry mate,' John replied, unzipping his coat. 'I feel your pain. Let me get you a drink. To make amends.'

'Better be a bloody big one,' Martin said, sitting back beside Matty who was building with his new blocks. John nodded before heading into the kitchen.

'Anna, you left with just two hours until tea time. I thought I was going to have to guess how many sausage rolls I needed without you. You know how stressed I get over portion control...'

'Helen, Helen,' John exclaimed before gesturing towards the door. 'You two, go and relax. I will do tea.'

'You?' Anna asked in a surprised tone.

'Not just me.' John began before Martin appeared at the door.

'John, where's this drink?' he asked.

'Me and Martin.' John replied, smiling.

'But there are things in the oven already,' Helen panicked before pinching the bridge of her nose. 'Only I know the timings.'

'Mum, maybe we should just trust the boys to do this. There is only so much one woman can do.' Anna said, half mockingly.

'Alright,' Helen said reluctantly.

'Great,' John said before grabbing Martin's arm and dragging him into the kitchen.

'Right boys, all the stuff to cook is in the freezer, I've only put the chicken goujons and mini quiches on so far...'

'I'm sure we can figure it out, my degree in Geography will see me through. ' John interrupted Helen, putting on an apron. 'Just go and relax. I'll bring you through some drinks in a minute.'

'I'd feel more confident if it was a degree in food tech,' Helen said to Anna as Anna pushed her through to the living room leaving John and Martin alone.

'Alright mate?' John grinned.

'Yeah, fantastic,' Martin replied sarcastically.

Tea was a triumph, the mini toad in the holes a particular highlight. This impressed Helen as they weren't on her list of food. John had embarked on a personal mission of trying to get Helen drunk, no woman could be that uptight all the time.

Sebastian and Joseph had to make their excuses, having to catch an early flight to Bangkok in the morning. They said goodbye, Sebastian promising Tony a tour of his garage on their return. With Matty now in bed, everyone else settled down to see what the evening television had to offer.

'I'm not watching any soaps,' Tony said, pouring himself another Jack Daniels. 'Helen's got them all set to record at home as it is.

'Here we go Helen, ' John said, handing her a large glass of wine as he preceded to sit beside Anna on the sofa. 'Where's the remote?'

'Here,' Martin said, launching it in the direction of John.

'What are you putting on?' Olivia asked.

'Well Martin should know, it was a Bates tradition.' John smirked at his cousin before flicking through the channels.

'Oh yeah, Morecambe and Wise,' Martin smiled. 'Our Dad's would make us sit down and watch every year.'

'Best part of Christmas,' John said before looking at Helen. 'Well, after the Queen's speech of course.'

After John had got Helen to the point of almost passing out, Anna helped her to bed. Tony had gone up a couple of hours before, the Jack Daniels getting the better of him. Martin and Olivia followed suit, leaving a rather tipsy John waiting for Anna to return to the living room.

'Right then,' Anna said as she walked back into the living room. 'Do you think you can make it into bed. I've carried one drunkard up, I think I could manage another.'

'I'm not drunk,' John protested, standing up before immediately falling back onto the sofa again.

'John, you just cried whilst telling mum the story of how your goldfish, Sparky died when you were eight.' Anna pointed out. 'Now it's Christmas. And I don't mind people drinking at Christmas. Even I have had a few but don't lie and say you aren't drunk.'

'I miss Sparky,' John wailed. 'He was my best friend, the best listener I ever knew.'

'John, you have issues,' Anna said, grabbing his arm and hauling him up to his feet before steadying him. 'Now John, are you drunk?'

'Yes. Yes I is,' John agreed.

'Come on, lets get you to bed.' Anna suggested.

'Oh Miss Smith, do you want to have your way with me?' John winked.

'Funnily enough, no,' Anna replied. Helping him up the stairs, having to tell him to be quiet as a rendition of We'll Meet Again in honour of Sparky threatened to escape,. Anna managed to get him to bed with the minimum of bashing into walls as she could.

'You're an idiot,' Anna laughed as he collapsed on the bed. 'I'm just going to hop into the shower.'

'I'll be waiting.' John called after her, getting undressed and under the covers. 'Hurry back.'

'Yeah John, sleep well.' Anna called back, knowing full well by the time she returned he'd be asleep.

After fifteen minutes or so, Anna came out of the bathroom to be greeted by a snoring John. Climbing gently into bed, Anna snuggled into John, his back to her. Realising she was now there, John turned over and placed an arm around her waist, pulling her in closer to him.

'I love you, Miss Smith,' John mumbled, kissing her forehead.

'I love you too, Mr Bates,' Anna replied.

And in each others arms, they fell into a restful sleep.