AN. I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter! OMG you guys. You don't know how nice it was to write Elphaba celebrating her birthday where it's not a foreign concept to her and she's allowed to be happy.
A few people asked about where I got "eshgham" from. It's a real word- it's "my love" in Persian!
Chapter 21
As they entered into May, most of Elphaba's attention shifted towards their upcoming final exams for the semester. Most of Fiyero's attention was skipping finals entirely and shifting towards plans for summer vacation, so there was much compromise to be made for how they spent their time.
The weather was becoming warmer every day and most students began to spend most of their time outside. The path that led from campus to town bloomed with flowers and the ice cream parlour in town experienced a flurry of activity, particularly on weekends.
Galinda, meanwhile, had not forgotten Annalie's suggestion about checking old student files for more information on who was behind the letters; but it was hardly Elphaba's first priority at the moment.
"Look, Galinda, I don't even know if students are allowed to look at the archives, or how far back the school keeps them," Elphaba said impatiently.
She'd overslept that morning and was now hurriedly trying to get out the door in time to grab some coffee on the way to her first class.
"I'll try and find out," she promised.
That afternoon found her in the Gazette office, supposedly working on an article, but in actuality she was staring absent-mindedly into space. It took Boq three tries to gain her attention.
"Sorry, Boq," she apologised. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
Elphaba sighed, turning to face him. "If you wanted to find out information about former Shiz students, how would you do that?"
Boq frowned. "Uh… I don't know. Maybe Rais would know?" he suggested. "Is this for an article?"
"Something like that," Elphaba murmured, already scanning the room for Rais.
She found him over by Gyrtie's desk, debating which was a better sentence structure.
"Elphaba, what do you think?" Gyrtie asked her as she approached.
Elphaba's steps stalled and she held up her hands. "Oh, I can't comment without reading the article. I'm just here to ask a question."
Rais glanced up. "Elphaba, your editor is always right," he informed her.
Elphaba and Gyrtie both rolled their eyes and he grinned.
"What's your question?"
She asked him the same question she'd asked Boq, and Rais didn't even blink.
"Yearbooks?"
"Done that," she nodded. "I was looking for more. Someone suggested old student files, but I wasn't sure if students were allowed to see them."
Rais beckoned to her and walked away. Elphaba followed him over to a filing cabinet, where he pulled out a sheet of paper.
"If you want to see a students' file, you need to apply to Madame Morrible," he told her. "She needs to approve it, and well, she'll only approve a damn good reason. How old are we talking here?"
"The 1830s?" Elphaba replied, glancing at the form with trepidation.
Rais made a face. "There was a fire in 1872 in the administration building, so records pre-dating that can be a little sketchy. But it's worth a shot. Is this for a story?"
Elphaba hesitated, not wanting to lie to Rais. "I'm not sure yet," she said. "I'm just… following leads for now."
Rais nodded interestingly. "Alright then. Keep me posted," he told her and walked back to Gyrtie.
Elphaba took the form back to her desk, frowning at it. Most of it was easy enough to fill out- her name, the name of the student files she wanted to see and the year they had started at Shiz. But the blank lines under 'reason for seeing files' weren't that easy to fill out.
"What do I even put?" she muttered to herself.
She sighed heavily and looked over to Boq. "Do you think 'returning lost property' is a good enough reason to see old student files?"
"What kind of lost property?"
"Old letters."
"How old?"
Elphaba's shoulders slumped. "A hundred years?"
Boq grimaced. "I don't know. If it was something valuable, sure. But won't the people be dead by now? It's not like they'll be looking for them."
The same thoughts had been going through Elphaba's mind, and if she and Boq were thinking along similar lines, she didn't think it was likely Morrible would think any differently.
Elphaba couldn't really imagine any excuse being good enough for Morrible if she was lucky. But it was their best bet so Elphaba filled out the form, listing "research" as her reason and dropped it off at Morrible's office before she headed out to meet Fiyero after his last class for the day.
It was a beautiful spring afternoon and Elphaba basked in the feel of the sun on her skin. She loved this time of year, the promise of approaching summer just beginning to dance on the air. Summer wasn't her favourite season, it lacked the magic of autumn, but sunshine and warmth always lifted her spirits.
"What's your favourite season?" she asked Fiyero as they left the Economics building.
It was an unusual question from Elphaba, but Fiyero didn't miss a beat.
"Winter. It has Lurlinemas, my birthday and snow," he replied.
Elphaba thought she should have guessed.
"You?" he asked.
"I like autumn," she said.
Fiyero nudged her expectantly when she offered no further explanation. "Why?"
She shrugged. "The leaves changing. It's good weather to do something in the day and then curl up with a book and a blanket at night."
They got coffee from the coffee cart and then settled on a nearby bench, where Elphaba explained the form she'd filled in to hopefully look at the archived student files.
"What if Morrible says no? To the files?"
Fiyero shrugged. "Then you tried, Fae. Maybe we're just not meant to know what happened."
"Oz help me if I have to convince Galinda of that," Elphaba rolled her eyes.
Fiyero chuckled. "How about we go out to dinner tonight?" he suggested. "Some guy in my Econ class said there's that restaurant in town, Idylliah? They have a rooftop garden they've just opened up for the summer."
"Isn't that going to be awfully busy if they've just opened?" Elphaba pointed out. "We have no reservation."
Fiyero rolled his eyes and pulled her to him. "You're forgetting something. Prince," he reminded her, pointing to himself.
He kissed her sweetly. "I'll deal with the restaurant, and I'll pick you up at six."
He was gone before Elphaba could protest.
"You don't want to go to dinner?" Galinda frowned at her. "I hear the rooftop garden is supposed to be very romantic."
"I have no objection to dinner," Elphaba allowed, standing before her closet and trying to decide what to wear. "I just object to him playing the prince card."
Galinda rolled her eyes. "Elphie, this is what people with money do. You have money too, you should know this."
"It's not money, like your money," Elphaba protested. "It's only because of Papa being Governor. If he resigned tomorrow, we'd be living off his pension. It's not family money. Why do you think I worked for my Shiz tuition?"
Galinda frowned thoughtfully. Then she got off the bed and went to her own closet, pulling out a dress.
"Here," she said, crossing the room and handing it to Elphaba. "Try this on."
Elphaba took it, glancing at the label, although she didn't have to in order to know it was designer wear. Galinda wore nothing but.
"Galinda…"
"Try it on," Galinda urged.
"Galinda, I have clothes," Elphaba barely suppressed a sigh.
"I know," Galinda replied patiently. "I just thought it would look nice on you. It's long on me, but I wear it with heels. You could wear it with flats."
That was music to Elphaba's ear. The dress was a deep purple with thin straps, that wrapped around and tied at the back. It fell to Elphaba's ankles once she put it on, longer in the back than the front.
"It's perfect," Galinda declared once Elphaba emerged from the bathroom in the dress. "You should put your hair up."
Elphaba's hand went to her hair. "Up?"
Galinda dragged her over to the vanity. "Here. I'll help."
She chattered away happily as she piled Elphaba's long hair into an elegant bun high on her head, securing it with more pins than Elphaba could count.
"There. See Fiyero try and mess that up," she declared in satisfaction when her work was done.
Elphaba's face flushed slightly, but she couldn't deny Fiyero's tendency to slip his hands in her hair.
She slipped on the bracelet Fiyero had given her and a pair of flat silver sandals. As she straightened up, she saw Fiyero approaching the building from the window.
"Yero's coming," she said. "I'll see you later. Are you going to the OzDust tonight?"
Galinda sighed dejectedly. "No," she said glumly. "I've got a Sociology essay to finish. It's due tomorrow."
Elphaba smiled faintly, biting back the urge to suggest that perhaps she should have started the assignment earlier.
"Have a good night," she said instead, and grabbed her bag as she left the room.
She headed downstairs, figuring she'd meet Fiyero on his way up. But as she came down the last flight of stairs to the foyer, there was no sighting of him. Elphaba's steps slowed as she heard his voice drifting towards her.
"-You think I've forgotten what you did?" he was saying, his voice laced with anger. "Do you think it suddenly doesn't matter? You've spent a few months lying low, pretending to be sorry; and now you've decided people will just forgive and forget?"
"It was an accident!" came the second voice, and Elphaba's blood ran cool.
It was Pinar's voice.
Fiyero snorted. "No one with common sense believes that. Just because your father paid Morrible to sweep everything under the rug, doesn't mean everyone else has forgotten," he continued.
"I really am sorry!" she insisted. "Truly, truly sorry."
Her voice was sickly sweet and Elphaba's whole body was set on edge at the tone.
"But you have to admit, you dating the green girl is odd behaviour, even from someone with… your scandalacious reputation."
"She has a name," Fiyero said tightly.
"Hasn't the novelty worn off yet?" Pinar asked, ignoring him. "Aren't you ready to sample some of Shiz's more interesting offerings?"
Elphaba slowly came down the stairs as Fiyero scoffed.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," he said coldly. "Elphaba is worth ten times of any girl I've ever met, and she's worth a hundred of you. Stay the hell away from her, and from me," he warned her.
Elphaba stepped down to where she could see the scene before her. Fiyero stood with his back to her, while Pinar was standing very close to him, her arm raised as though it had been resting on his shoulder and he'd stepped away.
Pinar's gaze drifted over to Elphaba and she smirked. Fiyero turned his head to follow her gaze, his eyes softening as he found Elphaba.
Pinar kept her eyes on Elphaba as she placed a hand on Fiyero's arm, who stiffened.
"When you get tired of waiting for Miss Enigma over there to put out, you know where to find me," she told him and then left, pushing past Elphaba as she went upstairs.
Elphaba's shoulders slumped as Pinar disappeared from sight and she rubbed her hand against her forehead tiredly.
Fiyero moved over to where she stood at the bottom of the stairs, slipping his hands onto her hips.
"Are you ok?"
Elphaba chuckled weakly. "I'm fine."
Fiyero's brow furrowed. "Fae."
"No, I really am," she insisted. "There's nothing new here. Pinar's a bitch."
Fiyero wasn't convinced and that was clearly evident on his face.
"Can we just go to dinner, please?" she asked him. "I don't want to talk about this, and I don't want her to ruin our night."
He nodded reluctantly. "Ok," he agreed and then frowned. "I don't get the enigma thing."
Elphaba smiled faintly. "Enigma like the apple," she explained. "They're green?"
Fiyero sighed and gently pressed his lips to hers.
"Let's go to dinner," he said.
The rooftop garden was every bit as romantic as Galinda had said it was. Lanterns were strung up around to light the area as the sun slowly set, and there were candles on every table.
Elphaba seemed unbothered by the incident with Pinar, she chattered away as they ate about the letter she'd received from Ottah that morning, complete with amusing stories about his children and some funny cases he was dealing with at work. It was Fiyero who couldn't stop dwelling on the matter.
When Pinar had first intercepted him as he entered the foyer, he hadn't been sure what to expect. And then she'd started talking. Fiyero didn't hate many people, but he hated Pinar. And he hated the look he'd seen in Elphaba's eyes after she'd heard them, even though there was no trace of it now.
"Do you have any work or reading you need to do tonight?" he asked her after he'd called for the bill.
"Uh, no not really," Elphaba said.
"No work for the paper?" he pressed.
She frowned. "No… why?"
"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?"
Wariness flickered across her eyes. "Ok," she agreed. "Where?"
"My suite?"
The corner of Elphaba's lips quirked. "Sure. Do we need to pick anything up first?"
Fiyero rolled his eyes. He'd still made no move to fill his kitchen, which Elphaba found more than a little amusing.
They stopped by The Wilted Rose for Elphaba to get an iced tea and Fiyero a milkshake and then headed up to his suite. As soon as they entered, Fiyero pulled her over to the couch and sat her down. Elphaba looked at him expectantly, sitting her drink on the coffee table.
"I want to talk about the thing with Pinar earlier," he told her.
Elphaba sighed. "Why?"
"Because… because communication in a relationship is as important as sunlight to a plant."
Elphaba stared at him blankly for a moment, and then one eyebrow rose. "Are you quoting Galinda's book?" she asked incredulously.
"Yes," Fiyero admitted.
Elphaba rolled her eyes but Fiyero persisted.
"There's a whole chapter on why it's important to talk about things. Even when it's hard, or awkward."
Fiyero had actually found the book rather interesting- the advice, at least. The writing itself left something to be desired.
Elphaba sighed again. "I just don't know what there is to talk about," she shrugged. "Pinar hasn't changed, and she's probably not the only girl who's thinking that. Even Galinda said something on my birthday, remember? Pinar's just one who actually said something to you. Your dating history isn't news to me, Yero."
She made to reach for her drink, but Fiyero stilled her hand, gently tugging her closer to him on the couch.
"Fae, what have I told you since the beginning?" he asked her soberly.
Elphaba sighed indulgingly, resting her arm on the back of the couch and around his shoulder.
"That I'm different?"
He nodded. "You're special. You're important. And, look, I'm just going to say it. Do I want to sleep with you? Yes," he admitted.
Elphaba's body tensed slightly beneath his hands, but he couldn't read her facial expression.
"But not until you're ready. Until we're ready," Fiyero continued. "I love that we're still getting to know each other, Fae. I love that I still think about you all the time, and that I'm actually dreading this summer because I know I won't see you every day."
Elphaba said nothing for a moment, she didn't think she was able to speak. A thousand different thoughts were swirling around her head, faster than she could comprehend them. One thought in her mind was burning brightly and it flickered across her eyes.
"Fae? What are you thinking?" he asked her gently, grazing a thumb over her cheekbone.
Elphaba chuckled, her eyes shifting embarrassedly. "Nothing. Everything. Just- something Annalie once told me."
Fiyero raised an eyebrow in interest, a silent gesture for her to explain.
"Annalie and Papa dated for a few months before they told Nessa and I about it," she explained. "Nessa and I threw them a little party for their ten-year wedding anniversary last year. While we were planning, Nessa asked her why they told us when they did. Annalie said it was kind of a circular situation; that they knew it was time to tell us when they realised what they had wasn't insignificant. But at the same time, by telling us they knew it wasn't insignificant."
"Ok," Fiyero said, trying to figure out the relevance to them.
She smiled softly. "You keep saying that I'm important, and I- I hope you know that you're important to me too. And I was just thinking-"
"That what we have isn't insignificant," Fiyero finished for her.
She nodded tentatively, and he kissed her deeply. Elphaba kissed him back but pulled away before he could descend to her neck. Fiyero frowned slightly at the apprehension flickering in her eyes.
"What?"
Elphaba sighed faintly, brushing her thumb along his jaw line.
"I'm not ready-"
Fiyero cut her off with a tender kiss.
"I know, Fae," he murmured. "I know. I'm not going to pressure you."
"I know," Elphaba reassured him.
"I just don't want you to have any doubt," he said softly.
Elphaba smiled faintly. "That you want to sleep with me?" she asked.
He nodded, pressing a lingering kiss to his favourite spot on her neck, prompting the familiar involuntary murmur from Elphaba in response.
"So much," he mumbled into the crook of her neck.
Elphaba's nimble fingers slid into the hair at the back of his head, grazing against his scalp.
When he pulled back to see her face, her eyes had darkened in a way that made his heart skip.
"I've been pretty much going with the thought any exposed skin is fair game," he admitted.
She nodded faintly. "I have noticed that," she replied, looking faintly amused.
"Is that ok?"
Elphaba nodded and drew his head back to hers eagerly. The dress she was wearing presented Fiyero with skin that was unexplored to him along her chest and shoulders, and he wasn't going to waste his opportunity to explore it now.
As his lips moved to her neck as his hands crept upwards.
"Why are there so many pins in your hair?" he complained against her skin, his fingers nimbly pulling them out as he found them.
Elphaba laughed breathlessly. "Galinda," she explained, as her hair fell around her shoulders like a waterfall of silk.
As he lay her back against the couch cushions, something occurred to Elphaba. The similar flash of inspiration she would get with a new idea for her novel when she was stuck on a chapter. Out of the blue, but crystal clear as though it had been lurking in her mind since the beginning, accompanied by a hint of disbelief that she hadn't thought of it earlier.
She loved him.
The revelation took her breath away. Or that may have been Fiyero, as his lips grazed her collarbone.
"Yero?" she breathed.
Fiyero lifted his head instantly, worried he'd gone too far.
Elphaba tugged him forward until they were at eye level.
"Thank you."
It hadn't been what she intended to say, but it was no less true.
Fiyero frowned slightly. "What for?" he asked, a note of surprise in his voice.
She faltered for just a moment. "For not rushing me," she finally said.
Fiyero's face softened and he kissed her sweetly. "You're worth the wait," he replied. "It's like baking a cake," he added, much to her confusion.
"You don't take it out of the oven until it's finished baking."
Elphaba frowned. "Is that from the book?" she demanded.
Fiyero nodded, grinning as his fingers toying with the strap of Elphaba's dress.
"The book compares sex to cake?" she asked in disbelief.
"Hey, in the book's defence, they are both great," Fiyero laughed, lightly running his fingers along the neckline of her dress.
Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You don't even bake," she reminded him.
"What does that matter?" Fiyero asked, pressing a kiss to the tip of her shoulder. "It's not like your skill in one equals your skill in the other."
If it did, he was pretty sure he'd be a great baker.
Elphaba couldn't resist scoffing faintly as though she knew exactly what he was thinking.
"You bake me a cake and I'd sleep with you tonight," she said.
Fiyero groaned slightly, pulling her closer to him and kissing her deeply. "Holy Mother of Oz. don't tempt me Elphaba," he mumbled.
When Elphaba finally returned to her room that night, her hair out and lips still swollen, Galinda looked up from her Sociology essay and smirked.
"Good night?"
Elphaba only flushed a little. "Shut up," she said and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Despite her revelation that she loved Fiyero, Elphaba wasn't completely doubt free. Perhaps that was why she hadn't told him. There was a part of her mind that was hinging her relationship with Fiyero and its chances of succeeding long-term with the as yet unknown outcome of Ali and King's relationship. For what reason she didn't know.
It was two days later when Elphaba was summoned to Madame Morrible's office. She was under no illusions as to what it was about, and she'd been expecting it since Monday afternoon. She'd discussed it at length with Galinda, and they'd come up with a cover story to explain why they wanted to see the files, without actually mentioning the letters.
Galinda was worried if they told Morrible about the letters, she'd confiscate them to try and return the letters herself. Galinda was adamant that they did not allow that to happen. Elphaba had to agree. She didn't trust Morrible at all.
"Miss Elphaba, have a seat."
Elphaba sat down confidently, looking the Headshizstress directly in the eyes. Morrible had her application on the desk before her, and she merely tapped it with a single finger.
"Explain."
Elphaba squared her shoulders. "After our room was damaged in the storm back in March, Galinda and I found a mark in the old window sill, graffiti left by a former occupant of the room. We did some digging in old yearbooks to find who we believe wrote the graffiti. I thought it would make a good feature article for the Gazette. Most students can probably only name alumni who have gone on to achieve success. I want to shed light on the ordinary people."
Madame Morrible regarded her with a deep frown, and Elphaba waited for the expected refusal.
"This coming September marks one hundred and fifty years since Shiz first opened its doors to students," she said.
"There has been no official announcement yet, but there will be a series of special events over the academic year to mark the occasion. I believe your idea would make a good series for the Gazette."
"A series?" Elphaba echoed.
"The feature articles you've written this year have been well received, Miss Elphaba."
"Madame, I'm only going to be a second year in the fall," Elphaba said cautiously. "Surely, someone else-"
Morrible inclined her head. "There will be plenty of opportunities for other writers on the paper to create special pieces for throughout the year. However, as you approached me for these records, I thought it best to bring it up now."
Elphaba's heart lifted hopefully. "Does that mean I can see the records?"
Morrible nodded once more, reaching into a drawer and pulling out two files.
"These are copies, and not the actual files," she explained. "You may keep them. Some of them may not be complete, due to age."
The files she handed Elphaba were labelled with the names of Wynter Ames and Jair Boggs.
"What about the other one? Alivia Benitz?" Elphaba asked.
"The file does not exist," Madame Morrible said. "It may have been lost or damaged beyond repair with age, or if the student didn't graduate, the file may have been destroyed."
Following one short lecture on the importance of protecting private information, even when files were a century old, and Elphaba was dismissed.
She hurried immediately to the dining hall, where she'd promised to meet Nessa and Fiyero for lunch. On the way over to the table, she grabbed Galinda from where she was sitting with her friends.
"What is this going to tell us exactly?" Nessa asked curiously.
"I don't know exactly," Elphaba admitted. "But it can't hurt, right?"
The files actually did reveal some new information. They had known that Alivia had lived in the room that was now Galinda and Elphaba's, but as it turned out, Wynter had lived in the room next door.
"Hey, she's Vinkun!" Fiyero exclaimed, looking over Elphaba's shoulder at Wynter's file.
"Jair was Gilikinese too," Galinda said thoughtfully. "I wonder where he was from."
Elphaba was frowning at the pages and Fiyero nudged her gently.
"What is it, Fae?"
Her face cleared as she turned to him, smiling faintly. "Nothing, really. It's just… I know we've read the letters, and the yearbooks… but they're all starting to feel real to me now, seeing these files. And it's crazy that we now know more about Wynter and Jair than we do Ali and King."
Fiyero nodded. "That makes sense."
"It's not over," Galinda said firmly. "Momsie and Popsicle said they don't know anything about the Benitz family, but we have so many friends in high society and there'll be a lot of parties this summer. I'm going to ask around. Someone must know something."
Elphaba agreed, but she wasn't terribly confident.
That night, before going to sleep, she pulled out the letters once more. She picked out the letter that she'd felt most connected with since they'd first read the letters- King's proposal.
7th November 1837
My darling Ali,
I've been thinking about the future. I have a lot of time to think these days.
Shiz isn't an option. The scholarship is gone, and I still have no chance of affording tuition without one. Maman is trying to convince me to apply for another one, but I don't like my chances. They've already given me one, and I quit on them. How likely are they to give me another, when I could walk away at any moment?
I'm frustrated. I was so close to graduating. And then I feel guilty for being frustrated, in light of everything that's happened here. Maman and Bibi were so proud when I got accepted to Shiz. I was the first person in our family to go to university and I think they were hoping this would change our family's fortunes somewhat, having a university graduate among us. I feel I've failed Bibi by not going back.
But I keep thinking of the last conversation I had with her. It was the day after I'd come back from Gilikin, and I told her everything.
About you, about how much I love you. I told her every story I could think of, and when I finally stopped to draw breath, Bibi just smiled at me and told me that she was glad I was happy. I never told her what had happened at your home, and all my worries. But I think she knew.
She told me "Fate always has a plan, and it may not work in your favour. It may not be what you want. But the point of fate is that we're not meant to know what's coming; and we shouldn't let our fear of the outcome stop us from living our lives. From fighting for what we want."
At first, I was too upset about everything that happened to think much about it. And then she had her stroke, and everything changed. But now everything has settled a bit, and I've been thinking about it the past few days. I think she's right.
I've been thinking about what to do now, what I want from my life. And what I want is you. To spend the rest of our lives together. Or however much time we get.
So, this is me fighting for what I want. Fighting for you. For us.
Ali, eshgham. Will you marry me?
Regardless of your answer, know that I love you- until the end of time.
Always, your King.
AN. Pinar is still as pleasant as ever, you see! And Elphaba isn't totally different in this AU, you see. The pre-Annalie years have still left a mark on her, which you may see a bit more of later on.
So, student files are a bust. Where do they go from here?