CHAPTER 21 – A Change
Business at the host club had been booming. The girls buzzed with excited chatter after the Winter Gala and the subsequent drama of the spiked punch. Guests who usually visited came more often, and then gushed to their friends, who began to join as well. Requests increased for almost everyone, especially Tamaki and Haruhi.
As a result, more cakes and sweets were ordered and my duties on tea and china care were extended farther into the evening than ever before. Hunny, however, still demanded cake time, though I asked him to allow me to work longer before joining him for the interest of time.
Everything was as it should be. Though Hunny would devote a few minutes or so to my attention, he spent the rest of the time being fawned over by his increased clientele, many of which were new and offered fresh delight in his antics. In that stretch of time, Mori (who had less clients than the rest of the hosts) would turn his unwavering eye to me, and we were fit to do whatever the day would offer—be it quiet reflection in our tea or animated conversation (on my part) and patient, attentive listening (on Mori's part).
The best part, I had decided, was that the meditative silence allowed me time to choose my words wisely and gather my thoughts into stimulating conversation, instead of panicking and stammering as I usually did with others. Mori commented on this one day, telling me that I chose my words well, before settling back in to listen more.
Conversation between us became an art in its own way, a sort of song with rhythm and space in speech. I delighted in it; it was quite unlike anyone else I talked to at school. Haruhi was thoughtful but blunt, Tamaki dominated all topics with his own, and talking to the twins felt like watching a confusing game of ping pong while trying to interfere from the sidelines and getting confused because the two players are identical. And, of course, Hunny was Hunny.
The more I grew comfortable expressing my thoughts to Mori, the more he would respond, but always after a pause of consideration. We discussed books (as we found we had read many of the same ones), travel (which I could always provide a multitude of stories for) and he told me more about kendo and his study of the martial arts with Hunny. My long-neglected notebook filled with thoughts and stories I wanted to remember to share with Mori later.
The twins looked onward on this with much excitement and fascination, stating it was the best thing to happen since Haruhi joined the club.
"I'm surprised Kyoya is letting you guys talk so much around everyone," commented Kaoru one day. "He blocks the hosts from actual relationships outside the club."
"But I AM in the club," I reminded them. "And since when were you using the word 'relationship?'"
They ignored my question.
" That's not why he'd let it slide," said Hikaru. "Something is going on in that head of his." I tried to trust their judgment, as Kyoya was still a complete mystery to me.
Of course, the twins trying to "help" in their own way involved a significant level of mischief. When we all went on an outing to the Ootori's private water park, they took full advantage of the myriad of opportunities to "help," or rather, embarrass me. This included asking Mori's opinion on a myriad of skimpy, ridiculous swimsuits and bikinis they brought from home (thought I had already chosen my own), announcing my arrival to the wave pool once I had changed, and pushing me into the current pool before declaring that I couldn't swim (untrue). Of course it wasn't until Mori had dove in and hoisted me to shore that I was able to tell him this. Upon my explanation of my proficient swimming skills, Mori turned to the twins and shot them a look equal parts exasperation and perplexion. But never once did he comment on their antics to me or anyone nearby, accepting my apologies and maintaining a curious, watchful eye on me the rest of the day.
Tamaki announced that night that our garden party would be held the night before the string recital: two weeks from now. I smiled at Mori upon the news, for we had been chatting about the prospects of the party and a chance to take another evening stroll for old time sake. He returned my smile, but his gaze turned nervously and I watched where it followed. Kyoya was eyeing us both, but gave away no ounce of good will or hostility. I looked away quickly, pretending I hadn't noticed anything, but I could feel Kyoya's gaze shift to me, and I toyed with my food.
The next day, everything was different.
First, Mori didn't show up to the host club that afternoon. I was still called over for cake time, but sat there, uncomfortable with the empty space where my tall friend sat. I ate my cake fast and excused myself early, a dark feeling creeping into my chest.
That evening I stayed later to practice and saw Mori leaving the gym from the music room window—he hadn't waited for me to come down the stairs or for my limo to come.
"He must just been in a hurry," I told myself. "Nothing to make a fuss about."
The day after that, Mori was present at the host club, but left when I came over for cake time, before I could say a word. I asked Hunny if everything was alright, and Hunny replied that Mori had told him he had business to deal with at home, and returned to his party of girls.
Mori stayed for my arrival at the couch only one day the entire week, otherwise being absent or leaving before I could say anything. When I tried to ask him about his day or tell him about the book I had been reading, he replied with such short and bitter curtness that I was alarmed into silence, the kind that crackled with fear and guilt. I saw his hand digging into his own knee and gripped my teacup fearfully, wondering what I could have done to cause this reaction. I was too terrified to venture any further questions or comments the rest of the time.
After the host club that day, I approached Haruhi on the verge of tears. The twins, upon hearing a sob, hustled over to me as well, comforting me with the odd sincerity that always arose in serious situations.
"I don't get it," I confessed, wiping my eyes. "He was my friend…what did I do to make him be like this?"
"Ivy-san, I'm so sorry," Haruhi told me, handing me her handkerchief. "It might not be you. Maybe he is dealing with family stuff. Or maybe it just got too close. You remember what I told you."
"All we did is talk," I sniffed. "That's all I needed…"
"But that's just you," said the twins.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered.
"He's never talked to anyone as much as you," said Hikaru. "No matter what he's doing right now, just remember you're special to him."
"Something must be up," said Kaoru. "For him to be doing this. I mean, he's turned down girls before, but usually it's right away, not after chatting with them for months…"
To try to get my mind off of Mori's absence, I practiced with increased time and alacrity for the string recital coming up—choosing an extra piece to challenge myself before the dress rehearsal at the end of the week. I no longer expected Mori's face at the bottom of the staircase when I left, and made a point of not looking at the gardens on the limo drive home. But still my head burned with unanswered questions, and I wondered what could cause so sudden a change in someone so pleasant and kind. I wrote and wrote away in my notebook but nothing made sense without his voice to explain and his eyes to guide my judgment of it all. It was terrifying how much I felt his absence. By Friday I was a hidden nervous wreck, fussing my way all through the dress rehearsal in the morning before preparing for the garden party that night.
I barely glanced at the outfit the twins had placed on my bed, pulling on the minty-green dress and whatever colored flats with numbness in my chest. All excitement I had felt for the event had been drained. The twins had to remind me to add jewelry before we left the house, where they made less jokes than usual and stared at me the entire way there.
Tamaki greeted us with a careful air of cheer as we walked down the path to the setup, and I wondered if Haruhi had mentioned something to him about my breakdown a few days earlier. I didn't look at the ensemble of lights and fountains as we entered the main gazebo, though I had been integral in their decoration a few weeks earlier.
"Ivy-san, darling, do we have a surprise for you! And good, your dress matches our roses. Can you guess what I have arranged?"
I shrugged. "What?"
"Tonight, my dear, you will be an honorary events host! No tea carts or cakes for you." He gestured to the cart, where a hired waiter waved.
"What does that mean?" asked the twins.
"Well, Haruhi told me you've been a bit down this past week, so I got Kyoya's approval and thought I could liven things up. It's following suit after the Winter Gala, anyway."
"You still haven't explained it, Tamaki-senpai," said Haruhi, coming up from behind him. "Get on with it."
"There is a group of about 7 or so gentlemen from the school who are here to sit down and enjoy an evening of tea and conversation with the lovely Miss Ivy!" Tamaki announced.
"What?" I exclaimed, glancing over at a table of nervous high school boys who looked back in hopeful terror. "Tamaki…I don't know how to entertain a group of boys."
"Are you kidding, that's what you've been doing for us all year!" quipped the twins. They failed to dodge my smack.
"It'll be fun, I promise!" Tamaki told me, taking my shoulders and starting to walk me over. "Just let them ask you questions and flash that gorgeous smile."
"You've done it this time, boss!" called out the twins as I was lead to my fate.
As I was steered we passed Hunny and Mori, who were already employed with their group of clients. Hunny waved as I continued onward, causing Mori to look up and catch my eye for the first time this entire week.
My breath caught in my chest at the glint of anguish in his eyes, an expression halfway caught in between feigned indifference and apology and conveying neither. I had no time to respond before I was ushered into a chair in front of the eager male clients situated around me, but still felt the sting of his gaze on my back, leaving my mind reeling.