PART EIGHT
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2008
RABB RENTAL HOME
MANASSAS, VA
MORNING
In the nursery, Matthew and Patty slept peacefully unaware that, for the other members of their immediate and extended family, today was going to be difficult - more so for some than others.
GRANDMA RABB'S POV
I may be the oldest member of the current occupants of the Rabb home, but I'm up earlier than usual this Saturday morning.
Actually, I'm not sure that I really ever got to sleep. Like a child eager to do something special the next day, I was too excited to sleep because I'm going home today.
I was needed here, and that's something that's made me feel good in a way that I haven't felt in a long time, but this isn't my home, and with Harm back and recovered, Mac well, and the baby here and healthy, it's time for me to go home and let my grandson and his wife take care of their family.
I wonder what I can do or if there's a gift that I could give my grandson and his family that would express my thanks to them for making this old woman feel useful and needed while never making her feel like it was expected or that I was hired help.
I'll have to give that some thought on the drive to the farm.
The farm - I'm going home today!
I begin to hum "Old MacDonald" as I put the last of my things into the bag that I'm taking home with me.
FRANK'S POV
I know that we're coming back for Christmas, but my wife doesn't usually pack light, so I'm surprised to see that she's set only two bags to the side for me to load into the car.
"Trish, only these two bags?" I ask my wife.
"Yes, I tried to get everything into one bag, but I couldn't do it. However, I did manage to make do with one bag for each of us.
Happy that it won't take long to load our things into the car, I reach for the handle on one bag.
"Frank, you don't have to do that now. We can each take our own bag to the car when we're ready to leave."
"I'd rather load the car now before the children get up for breakfast. I think that if you and Sarah walk out the door with just your handbags, it'll seem as if we're all going out shopping, which I believe will make it easier on the children than for them to see us toting out our luggage like we're leaving for good," I say as I snatch up both bags, not wanting to discuss the matter anymore. "After I have these two in the car, I'll find out what Sarah is taking with her and put it in the car as well."
The truth is that I wanted to load the car because the trick of imagining that I'm just taking the ladies shopping, something that I've often done since we've been here, allows me to fool myself.
Being part of such an active household has me feeling youthful and alive, and I'm going to miss it. If I show how sad or upset that leaving makes me, then it's going to make our leaving harder on my grandchildren.
TRISH'S POV
The reality that today is the day that we're leaving takes hold of me as I watch Frank take our bags from the room.
I have mixed feelings about our trip to Pennsylvania, feelings that won't change whether we leave today, next week, after Christmas or any other future point in time, but staying here in my son's home indefinitely is out of the question.
I'm happy that, after all that Sarah has been doing around here, we can do something nice for her to show our thanks for her help.
Also, though we love our grandchildren, having five of them so young really takes a lot out of people our age, and Frank and I could use some peace and quiet to rest before returning to experience the joyful craziness of Christmas with them.
"We all need this short trip away," I say to an empty room.
My affirmation lacked conviction and doesn't convince even me because I'm worried that this trip may not be good for Frank.
Frank seems more energetic and alive when he's around our grandchildren, so I have to hope that being away from them won't have too negative an impact on his mood or his health.
"We must leave today," I state with much more conviction.
Staying isn't going to make leaving after Christmas any easier for anyone, but by leaving now, we'll be back soon, and if Harm and Mac have found that they need us, then we can make arrangements for one or even all three of us to stay long-term.
However, since they were getting along just fine before, I doubt that the addition of my precious Patty will have any impact on my son and his wife being able to resume taking care of their family.
Frank and I need to make this trip to the farm so that they can settle back into being a family, and we can be just the grandparents, making it easier on us and our grandchildren when we leave after Christmas.
MATTIE'S POV
In my room, I'm feeling badly that I don't share my siblings sadness over our grandparents and great grandmother leaving this morning.
I blame my lack of emotion concerning their departure on the fact that I have so many other things on my mind that there's no room to process any new situations or emotions.
I dismiss that theory when it occurs to me that I should be feeling better since I told everyone about Kyle dumping me, my poor grades and my fight with Kevin.
In fact, if I hadn't been feeling better from just getting the news off my chest, one of my bigger worries was cleared up last night after dinner when, still uncertain of what to say to Kevin, I ended up in the kitchen alone with him, no doubt arranged by the Rabb women.
Luckily, Kevin had been giving a lot of thought to what he wanted to say to me, so I had to say very little.
******FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT******
"Look, Mattie, I know that you didn't want to hear what I was saying about Kyle and the kind of guy that he is, and that's why you got angry, but I'm your friend. I'm not going to apologize for saying something that you needed to hear. So if you need an apology in order for us to be friends again, then I'm sorry, but I can't do that ... not even for you."
"I never stopped being your friend. I was just mad at you," I replied with a slight smile.
"You need to know that, if you start dating someone like him again, I'll call you on it, but not because I don't want you to be happy like you accused me of this time, but because I care about you, Mattie."
"Thank you," I whispered before kissing Kevin on the cheek.
"Friends again, then?" Kevin choked out, apparently shocked by my gesture.
"Absolutely," I replied.
*****END FLASHBACK*****
I was relieved after Kevin and I had made that first step towards getting our friendship back on track, which had left me feeling marginally better at the time, but now the joy of having him back in my life has faded into the background.
Though legally I'm an adult, my state of mind at the moment makes me feel like a lost child, unsure of what to do or where to go now.
By the time that Sami bursts through my bedroom door to tell me that it's time for breakfast, I haven't come to any conclusions about why I might be feeling like this ... this disconnected from the family that I now call mine, and wondering if I'm ever going to feel like I'm part of it again.
TYLER'S POV
The way that my dad explained it, I understand that Gee Gee wants to go home, but I feel a little guilty for keeping her away from her friends for so long.
I love my grandmother, and I'm going to miss her, but she just doesn't like the same things that I do and that makes it hard for me to spend much time with her, but it's different with my grandpa. We like a lot of the same things and we spend a lot of time together.
I can say goodbye to them today without being upset, but that doesn't mean that I want them to go or that I like it.
As soon as their car is out of sight, I'm going to start counting the days until they're back for Christmas.
ABIGAIL'S POV
'Gee Gee, Grandma and Grandpa have been here for months now. Why couldn't they just stay with us forever?' I wonder as I lie in bed, knowing that, though I've been awake all night trying to come up with a way to get them to stay, the morning sunlight coming through the curtains in my room means that I'm out of time.
They're leaving today - and soon.
It isn't that I don't like my parents. I do, very much. It's just that they're always busy with Patty!
I hardly see my big sister Mattie anymore.
Whether I want to show off the latest picture that I've drawn or talk about my piano lesson, Grandma always has time to listen to me. She even comes into my room sometimes and listens to me practice on my keyboard.
Gee Gee tells me stories and lets me help in the kitchen.
Grandma and Gee Gee always have time for me.
Who will have time to spend with me now?
HARM'S POV
I woke with Mac's naked form in my arms, which led me to start the morning the way that we'd ended last night - by making love.
Lying in bed, enjoying the quiet hours of the early morning, it isn't until Mac's stomach starts to growl when the smell of bacon reaches our room that either of us gives much thought to what's going to happen in just a few hours.
"I know that it's awful, but I'm really going to miss not having to make breakfast," Mac says with a sated grin.
"I hope that I still remember how to cook," I add with a half-hearted chuckle before turning serious and trying to give the situation a positive spin. "That's one good thing about them leaving today. You and I will have time to work out some schedules before I go back to work on Monday." I pause before suggesting, "When it comes to meals, I can take breakfast and dinner, and, if you prepare lunch, that will work during the week, too."
"That's the way we used to do it, isn't it?" Mac questions.
"If I remember correctly, yes," I reply, and then wondering if she wants to change it, I let her know that I'm open to other ideas by stating, "If you'd like to arrange things differently, I'm open to it. We just need a routine that works. I don't want too much of the daily running of the house to fall on your shoulders. I don't want any of our children to feel slighted and I don't want us not to have time for each other," I state adamantly.
"You don't want much, do you?" Mac says with a chuckle.
"Do you think that it's too late to make a day equal to thirty-six-hours?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, I don't think that you can make that one happen," Mac says, pausing before she adds, "I think better on a full stomach, so let's figure out more of our schedule after breakfast."
LIVING ROOM
AFTER BREAKFAST
GRANDMA RABB'S POV
My thoughts of going home have served to keep the reality of this moment from my mind.
The babies won't know whether we're here or not as long as their needs are being met, I tell myself, trying to stave off my urge to stay.
It's time for me to say goodbye to my great grandchildren. I can't put off the difficult part of my departure any longer.
With my youngest great grandson freshly washed up after finishing his breakfast and still in his father's arms, keeping me from having to stoop down to pick him up, Matthew seems like the perfect place to begin my farewells.
Matthew's lack of understanding about what's happening makes him impatient, especially when he wants to get down to play, which forces me to keep my hug brief and, after a kiss goodbye on his cheek, I place the wriggling lad down on the floor.
My eyes focus on my oldest great granddaughter next.
While embracing the teenager with still so much weighing on her mind this morning, I whisper into her ear before releasing her, "It's all going to be all right, dear."
Next I cuddle the youngest Rabb for a few moments before passing Patty to Trish.
That leaves the three great grandchildren to whom it will be the hardest to say goodbye.
Sami begins to tear up the moment I motion for the three of them to come closer. I want to address them together, but hug them individually.
I thank Ty, Abigail and Sami for letting me come to stay with them for so long. Then I hug each one and tell them that I love them more than I can ever say or show them.
Only the thought of my home keeps me from crying.
Saying goodbye to my grandson and his wife is easier than with the children. They remind me so much of my sailor and me that I'll bet that they're relieved that we're leaving because, as nice as they were, I wouldn't have wanted my in-laws to move in with us the way that we have with them.
Our departure is long overdue, and if it weren't for my great grandchildren, I wouldn't be returning for the holiday and interrupting my grandson's household again so soon.
FRANK'S POV
Since Trish and I never had any children of our own, I learned from being around Matthew that babies grow and change rapidly. I'm sure that, although Patty was premature, she'll be no exception and will have changed by the time we return. Therefore, I want to get a good look at her, so I begin my goodbyes with the youngest Rabb.
With Matthew content out of anyone's arms so that he can toddle about, once I've relinquished Patty to her mother, I reach down to ruffle Matthew's hair and say, "I'll be back to see you soon, Sport."
Though I love my granddaughters, I'm not as close to them as I am to my oldest grandson. So though there's some sadness as I hug Mattie, Abigail and Sami, it's Ty who will be the hardest for me to leave behind this morning.
As I hug Ty, I wonder if the ladies would mind if I drove down on the weekend to check on my grandchildren and play the racing game with my grandson.
After a hug and a kiss on the cheek for my daughter-in-law, I extend my hand to Harm.
Harm reaches for my hand, but tugs gently on it, letting me know that he feels that we're close enough now that a hug seems more appropriate than a handshake.
TRISH'S POV
I thought that I'd prepared myself for this moment, but one look around the room at my grandchildren's faces and I wonder if I'll get through the goodbyes without crying.
I pass Patty to Frank, and after taking a moment to retrieve a handkerchief from my purse - just in case - I inhale deeply to calm my emotions as I reach out to hug my oldest grandchild, Mattie.
Though I love my grandson, he and Frank are much closer, making it easier - as in safer from shedding tears - to say goodbye to Ty next.
Sami steps up for a turn to hug grandma before I leave, and she has wet streaks from tears on her face.
Matthew is clutching the fabric of my slacks as if he wants his turn next, though I suspect that the real reason is that he's holding onto me for balance.
I scoop up the toddler and kiss his cheek.
After putting Matthew back down on the floor, I turn my attention to Abigail.
Her eyes are glistening from the moisture of unshed tears, and though she isn't crying, the sadness that I see in her face has me wanting to stay here.
No, I can't think like that. We need to go ... and today.
Knowing that I'm barely keeping my tears from falling and that if I see Abigail shed a tear, I'll be joining her, I quickly pull the sweet little girl into an embrace, hoping that, by avoiding seeing the sadness in her eyes, I won't cry.
As painful as it was, it's done. I've said goodbye to all of my grandchildren.
Now, after I hug my son and my daughter-in-law, I'll have to get out of here before I want to stay so badly that I'll change my mind.
MATTIE'S POV
Still uncertain about what's going on with me and wondering if I'm ever going to feel 'right' again, I decided to stay alone with my thoughts a while longer and told Sami that I wasn't hungry so I was skipping breakfast.
I blame myself for feeling disconnected from everyone because I haven't been here much lately. Therefore, I haven't spent enough time with anyone here to make me feel as if they're my family or for this place to feel like my home, but I make the effort to get involved in the goodbyes.
Since they're supposed to return in a couple of weeks, and I hope to be feeling more like myself by then, I don't want them to be upset with me because I didn't come out of my room at all on their last morning here.
Besides, Harm says that one should always do the right thing, and saying goodbye to family when they leave after a visit is the right thing to do.
ABIGAIL'S POV
Momma said that letting Gee Gee and my grandparents go without making them feel bad for leaving by crying, even though we're sad enough to cry, is, in a way, giving them our thanks for helping out when daddy was hurt and while she had to stay in the hospital after having Patty.
It isn't right to ask them to stay.
They've hugged everyone.
They've told us that they love us.
They've said that they're going to miss us.
There's nothing left.
They're going to leave now.
"Wait!" I say, approaching Gee Gee and Grandma. "I know that you want to go home to see your friends so you can't stay, but can I go with you?"
"No, dear, not this time. You have school," Grandma says, stooping down to give me one more hug.
"Though we'd love to have you come with us, you have a job to do here, my sweet Abigail. You promised Miss Harriet that you'd play the piano for the wounded soldiers and, in order to do that, you have to stay here to have your lessons and to practice between now and the show," Gee Gee explains.
I nod to show my understanding because I know that, if I say anything else, I'm going to cry...and I don't want them to feel sad like I do.
I feel momma's hand come to rest on my shoulder, and then Grandma says, "One of us will call you when we get there to let you know that we arrived at the farm safely."
Then, they're gone, and I miss them already - a lot!
MASTER BEDROOM
BEDTIME
MAC'S POV
Today has been both physically and emotionally exhausting, so I'm yawning as I walk into our bedroom.
"No problem getting Patty to sleep tonight?" Harm asks as I close the door behind me.
"Not tonight," I reply.
"I think today went pretty well, considering -" Harm comments.
"I don't know about that." He gives me an odd look, though I don't know if it's because I cut him off or if it's in regard to my comment. "As far as getting back into the habit of caring for all of our children by ourselves, I do think that it went pretty well, but I'm not sure that everyone is okay about your grandmother and parents leaving today."
"I know that Sami shed a few tears during the goodbyes, but you saw her a few minutes later. After they were gone and I announced that it was time to run a few errands and get something special from the grocery store to make for dinner, she was all smiles and the first one to say that she wanted to come with me," Harm says, recalling the scene from earlier today.
"I wasn't talking about Sami. Her emotions last until something sidetracks her. That's the advantage of being four," I state frankly.
"If not Sami, I know that Matthew and Patty are too young for it to have even registered that there are fewer adults around. I talked to Ty while he and I were unpacking the groceries today. He misses his grandpa, of course, but he's okay."
"Yes, and when Frank called to say that they'd reached the farm, I was happy that the phone was passed around on both ends until they'd all talked to the children, and I know that speaking to his grandpa cheered up Ty," I say, wondering if he was blind to what I saw this morning.
"As far as Mattie goes, she didn't seem upset at all. In fact, if anything, she seemed indifferent, but she's got a lot on her mind right now, so her reaction didn't really surprise me, but I was happy to see that she made the effort to come out of her room to say goodbye to them," Harm says in a factual manner.
When he says it like that, it doesn't sound like I should be worried about her disinterest at all.
"I didn't see anyone so overcome with emotion that it sent up a red flag to me. However, it broke my heart to hear Abigail ask them if she could go with them with such sadness in her voice, like she was saying goodbye to them forever ... and I wasn't the only one. Did you see the look on my mother's face? I thought that she was going to start bawling like a baby. If Abigail hadn't wanted to go to her lesson today, something that she really enjoys, I'd be worried about her, but not only did she go, she did very well," Harm finishes.
"True, and though Abigail didn't eat lunch, after she spoke to your mother on the phone about her piano lesson, she did seem to perk up, and she ate a little bit of her dinner," I say, agreeing with his observations.
"I don't remember the kids taking this much out of me before," Harm comments as he gets into bed.
"I know what you mean. I don't know if your parents and grandmother were doing that much and I didn't realize it or if we're just out of shape."
"Oh, I'm not out of shape..." Harm says, eyeing me. "...and from where I'm sitting, neither are you," he adds seductively as I crawl into bed.
I know that I should be thankful for a husband who still finds me attractive and makes me feel desirable and beautiful even though I have surgery scars and have given birth twice, but tonight, I'm tired and don't fully appreciate his desire to make love to me.
As I settle onto the mattress, prepared to tell him that I'm flattered but I'm tired before I kiss him good night, I see his jaw tighten in the way that it does when he's stifling a yawn.
"I'm glad that you still find me desirable, but we're both tired, Sailor, so let's get some sleep," I say before my lips press against his.
He kisses me back with more vigor than I'm giving, but not the way that he does when he's raring to go, and when our lips part, he whispers to me as I lay my head on his chest, "Good night, Mac."
AN: I hope you enjoyed the 2008 Thanksgiving with the Rabbs. Don't fret, though, I'm already working on the next installment. As I usually try to do, I left clues in this story as to what might be in the next ... or future ... chapters. So, do you think you might now where we're going next?