A/N: I've never really been an exceptional writer, so the fact that I'm getting better and more people are reading my work is a huge thing to me.
On about November 27-ish, Harmony received its 5000th hit (and actually, I checked while writing this and it was at exactly 5500 XD), which is over 2000 hits higher than my story with the second highest amount (though at 20 chapters, maybe I don't have reason to be happy?). Because of this (and partially for neatness so the numbers won't be off for any part excepting Warmth), I've decided to write a special chapter: (hopefully) humor with a bit of SasuSakuNaru mixed in.
So thank you all for reading this far and I sincerely hope you enjoy the result of my terrible, slightly weird sense of humor.
Harmony: Special!
Sasuke vs. the Orange
11.29.2006
"It's great that you're feeling better, Sasuke-kun!" It was impossible for Sakura not to enjoy the sights and sounds of the busy market, and she chirped out the words more brightly than was possible. For a moment, Sasuke had the great urge to throw the bread he was carrying at her, but he knew he wasn't as annoyed with his teammate as he was with the fact that the cacophony of their surroundings was adding to his leftover headache.
So instead he settled for the Sasuke-ish response of "Hn" that he had perfected over the years.
Indeed, his cold was gone, but its effects were apparently out for revenge, as the dull aching pain in his head had yet to disappear. Still, at least he was perfectly healthy. It was a relief to be able to do the things that he had sorely missed in the past week, from the important things like training, to the simple pleasure of being able to kick Naruto's ass at any given moment.
Insisting that he shouldn't push himself yet, no matter how fine he felt, Sakura had talked him into going to the market with her - "To help me carry everything! You know Naruto- he'll drop everything!"
Oh, she was a reasonable liar and obviously knew her audience well enough to add in a natural little insult against Naruto. That wasn't the reason he had come though. The reason simply was that his conscience would have been very unhappy with him if he hadn't helped out the girl who had so carefully taken care of him (not that he needed it of course- he could have gotten up and left at anytime. Or... at least that's what he continually said to everyone who asked if he was okay) during the past week.
And that was how he found himself strolling through the streets of Konoha.
The first half hour or so had gone fairly well: It was Sakura's turn to make dinner (which was quite welcome, given the fact that when it was Naruto's turn, dinner was ramen. Every. Freaking. Time.), for which she had decided to prepare sashimi and rice, and so they had picked up a good amount of salmon after the normal groceries. All that was left was a quick run to purchase vegetables and they would be finished.
It was during this one final errand that rather pleasant shopping trip took quite a turn for the worse, as Sasuke felt his foot gently kick something on the ground and, out of natural curiosity, looked down to determine the other party included in this collision...
And was met with the image of a garishly bright piece of fruit.
An orange was lying at his feet.
Without warning, the memories of glass after glass of orange juice being forced down his throat by the freakishly strong Sakura invaded his mind. The gallons she had somehow stuffed into him were a bizarre form of torture, but torture none-the-less.
Those oranges had made his life a temporary hell, and now one of their family members dared to impede the progress of him, Uchiha Sasuke?
This, unfortunately, was enough to make the young shinobi snap.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"
"Sasuke-kun! Wha-" "Stand back Sakura." His growled reply was followed by a stance she recognized all too well after his match with Gaara. Chakra flowed into his hand, unleashing the sound that it was named after... chidori- a thousand birds.
"Oh my god! Sasuke- stop!! Stop it!"
But the cries were too late- Sasuke was already in the air, falling toward the fruit with unmatched speed. The noise that followed was tremendous, as was the abrupt release of energy that ripped apart a few nearby stands; terrified shop keepers diving for cover. Even Sakura, who was used to such things, had trouble bracing herself. Needless to say, their groceries had not survived the ordeal.
The orange, however, had. It spun in a little circle before settling, unscathed, into the bottom of the rather sizeable hole that Sasuke had left in the ground. Catlike reflexes always at the ready, he jumped back to where Sakura was standing and swore under his breath.
"Sasuke, what the hell are you doing?!" The sweetness was gone from her voice, turning his name from the sickeningly adorable "Sasuke-kuuuuuuuuun" to a sharp "Sasuke". She was no doubt (for lack of anything more eloquent) pissed. But a ninja's duty is to complete his mission, and completion of this mission meant annihilation of the enemy. Sakura's wrath would have to be dealt with later.
There was no way he could use chidori again so soon in battle. He had a limit, and that limit had already become much more clearly outlined after lying in bed for a week with no training.
Still, an unprepared Sasuke was similar to a Jiraiya ogling boys: It just didn't happen. The motion was so fast and fluid that it seemed like he'd hardly moved before several shuriken were flying toward his obnoxious enemy.
Of course, in a busy market, shuriken flying around is not the safest procedure, and it just so happened that the exact moment Sasuke began throwing sharp things about was also the moment in which a young child (somehow unaware of the situation) decided to run between Sasuke and the orange, at which point Sakura knew she had to intervene to prevent the creation of a small-annoying-child-shish-kabob.
Now, most people might say that if one is a ninja, one should always carry some sort of weapon on them, but it is quite reasonable that some ninja, while just taking a small, friendly trip to the market in a quiet, peaceful village might not think that weapons are necessary to carry along.
And thus, Sakura was left with no choice but to throw herself in the way of the shuriken, taking several non-critical hits to her arms and shoulder.
"Sakura! Stay out of the way!"
Before she could blink, she was on her knees off to the side, watching Sasuke in his shining moment.
A shuriken had managed to pin the orange into the dirt, clearly wounding it. Ripping the small weapon out of the fruit's flesh, he took the pose for his last attack- foot poised just over it, grinning insanely.
"This is the end."
Squish.
Unfortunately for Sasuke, instead of the cheering and clapping he might have expected, the area around him was filled with angry yelling.
"Damn brat, you ruined my goods!"
"He destroyed my stand!"
"You'd better have the money for this, kid!"
But as the orange haze in Sasuke's mind faded away and his reason resurfaced, he picked out the most frightening of all: a shrill scream that sounded out amidst the angry crowd...
"Sasuke... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
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Between the destruction of Sakura's dinner ingredients, and her injured shoulder and forearms, the cooking that night was left to Naruto, while Sakura continued to threaten Sasuke with some... very interesting deaths. Still, despite the profanity she was so quickly spouting off, the kunoichi was gently cleaning bits of orange off of Sasuke's overly-bruised face, as he was rather in too much pain too move after being beaten halfway to death by several shopkeepers and customers who had been caught in the crossfire.
In the end, Naruto got his ramen, Sakura got to have Sasuke as a slave for one month, and Sasuke had made sure all oranges knew that Uchiha Sasuke was not someone to mess with.
All in all, maybe it wasn't so bad.
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A/N: That was too much fun. Not much SasuSakuNaru, really... but hopefully it amused you guys as much as it amused me.
Coming next: Happy Birthday, Sakura
They had planned the perfect night for their girlfriend. Now all they had to do was make it happen.