Chapter 21

One week later.

"And in sorrow and in joy."

Sophie froze with a box of pasta in her hand, suddenly hearing a too well-known voice and laughter somewhere close by.

Spike!

She looked around, eyes scanning the supermarket. Seeing the familiar profile, she smiled and stepped toward the young man. Suddenly she stopped.

Spike was talking on his cell phone, not noticing her.

And he was talking about Ed.

On a sudden impulse Sophie turned the corner of nearest aisle, avoiding the meeting, still hearing Spike's voice. For a moment she hesitated to leave. She didn't want to snoop or eavesdrop but, at that point, curiosity got the best of her. So she continued to listen, just out of sight.

"…I went to see him this morning. He's a bit grouchy but nothing unusual… Wordy, listen! The jackass is still refusing to use his crutches! He's confusing persistence with stubbornness! Yeah..." Spike paused, listening to the answer.

Sophie chilled with horror. Crutches?! God, Ed was wounded! Why hadn't they told her?! She is still his wife! They were obliged to tell her! Unless ... Unless it was Ed who had forbidden them to say anything to her... Ed… Ed did not want to see her! She felt a dull, throbbing resentment and pressed a trembling hand to her mouth.

"... yeah…" Spike went on, "You have to talk to him! He shouldn't be putting strain on his ligaments and muscles yet; it will only delay the recovery! He'll only listen to you and Sarge ... Greg is going to drop in on him tonight, tell him put it in writing, make it official!" Spike listened to the answer and laughed seemingly carefree.

Sophie finally almost mastered her emotions. If Spike is laughing and kidding, it must mean that things aren't so bad. Maybe it's a simple sprain, dislocation at most ... She caught at this thought with a wild hope, Of course! It was a trifling injury. That's why they didn't tell her… Right?

She took a deep breath and prepared to go out to Spike.

But she stiffened and stopped dead as she had heard his next words.

"Yeah, man, you're right! Love heals," Spike said and, after hearing the answer, laughed again.

What? LOVE?! Sophie's eyes widened.

"... well, she saved his life, in all senses. Jules was right. They are SUCH a cute couple!" he paused, listening to the answer.

Couple? COUPLE?! Her throat tightened.

"…well, Ed always hung up on brunettes ..." Spike moved away and now only bits of his phrases reached Sophie. "… adorable... green eyes... as for me, she is too skinny…" Spike's cheerful voice faded away.

Sophie felt her heart shatter instantly; she was no longer able to listen. Leaving the shopping cart with the groceries, she headed to the entrance of the store. Faster, faster, until she was almost running. Breathing hard now, her heart thudding loudly in her chest, she brushed past people, not caring what they would think of her. With her trembling hands she opened the car door, got inside, unable to drive yet. The tears gathering in her eyes choked her, her mind churning with resentment and bitterness.

God, Ed's having an affair. It hasn't even been two months since they parted, and he already has found comfort in another woman's arms?! By all accounts, she is young, and slim, and pretty... Adorable. That is why they didn't tell her that Edwas wounded; because it's HER who's comforting him and caring for his wounds now.

Yes, that would explain a lot...

Sophie was staring through the windshield blankly, her insides turning cold, her mind racing.

And what if they were having an affair before? What if SHE was the reason for the strange changes in Ed's behavior lately? Was this the reason why Ed had accepted Sophie's offer to live separately so quietly, almost willingly?

Suddenly, she couldn't breath.

God, Sophie, how big of a fool are you?!

These last months she had been desperately looking for an excuse for her husband; for his strange mood swings, his delays at work, the increase in number of shifts. Even when Ed refused to sleep in their bedroom, even then she tried to reason it out; she blamed stress, and hard work, or some troubles which Ed had kept from her... She had spent these months, wondering just how much of it was her fault and how much was his, wondering how right or wrong it was to insist on living separately...

But she never even contemplated this. The most obvious one, so it seemed.

So simple.

Ed has another woman.

Sophie put her hands over her mouth to hold in the sobs that wanted to come out.

Her husband had a mistress, she suddenly realized with chilling clarity.

A mistress.

She tried to get her head around it, but the more she thought about it the more her stomach lurched.

But who is she? She'd saved his life, Spike had said... Is she someone from SRU? Someone from Rescue? The doctor? WHO IS SHE?!

She would call Jules and ask her; surely Jules knows everything. Or Shelley. Or Greg… They all must surely know; they could help somehow…Who else could help now but friends?

Friends?

She remembered Spike's laugh and amusement while he was talking to Wordy about Ed and this woman. That means Ed had introduced HER to them. Made this 'official'.

Traitors. Hypocrites. All these years they had been her friends too. And yet they'd so easily adopted the replacement that Ed offered them instead of Sophie!

What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do?

The nauseating rush of thoughts and emotions ran through her head.

It's all over…

She felt the anger, jealousy, resentment and despair finally overwhelm her.

She sobbed.

##

The same evening.

"Coming!" Sophie could hear some shuffle-thud sounds behind the door in a modest apartment complex, followed by a string of muffled syllables that could only be cursing from the shape of their sound. "You forget something, Greg?"

The door was flung open.

Even though she thought herself to be well prepared for the meeting, seeing her husband standing a couple feet before her, wearing his favorite black sweats and an old sweatshirt, made her throat tighten. She swallowed hard. It had been more than two months since they'd split up; two months she'd last saw him.

Her eyes unwittingly raked over Ed's form, taking in the long jagged fresh scar on his temple, his haggard face, the dark circles under his eyes, and ... oh, God, he really was on crutches. Her heart shuddered in a sudden mixture of pity, fear, worry and...

Oh, no, no! Don't you dare! Sophie struggled to pull herself together, trying to push her emotions aside and forcing herself to remember why she had come here.

After all, why should I be worrying about him now? He'd found another woman to worry about him, comfort and care for him... She felt her mind churning again with resentment and bitterness; the harsh words marshaling in her mind, just behind her mouth.

No, she stopped herself. No quarrel, no scenes, no scandals. She'd only come here to see everything with her own eyes. She needed this to finally move on, to build her own life … as her husband obviously had already done.

Her husband, who was still standing in the open doorway and staring at her, open-mouthed.

"What? Aren't you even going to let me in?" Sophie asked him. An angry feeling surged up in her heart again, but she tried to keep her voice low and level.

Ed nervously ran his hand over his face. "Uh, Sophie, it's kinda unexpected... What are you doing here?"

She gave him an icy look without answering and Ed awkwardly stepped aside and gestured, letting her through. "Uh, you could ... Yeah... come on in… You'll have to excuse the mess..." he muttered confusedly.

Sophie snorted with contempt. "What, your mistress doesn't help you with the housework?" She took a deep breath and entered the apartment. Quickly, she looked around, waiting and dreading to see confirmation of her fears.

"My ... my what?!" she heard Ed exclaim, his voice faltering in amazement.

She shook her head in exasperation, without turning around, "Ed. Enough! I know everything! I came just to make sure."

"What the hell are you talking about, Soph?" she heard Ed's voice became strained.

Sophie ignored his question. "You know, it's more like a miserable kennel, than a human habitation," she snorted with disgust, crossing the tiny, cheap, one-roomed apartment. "Apparently your new girlfriend is not very demanding."

"My girlfriend?!" Ed almost cried out and as Sophie glanced back at him she saw his eyes grow wide and his eyebrows reach for the sky. His astonishment looked quite realistic, she had to admit. But instantly she shoved her doubts aside.

"Your sweetheart, your mistress, your girl, bedmate, whatever you want to call her! Brunette, young, slim, green eyes!" She knew she was almost yelling but she could no longer hold back her anger. "I heard Spike talking about her to Wordy! It didn't take you long to find someone else. You bastard!" She gasped at the insult and cast a fierce look at him.

Ed stared at her wordlessly.

She quickly passed through the small room, looking into the kitchen and even the bathroom, still not seeing any indication of the presence of another woman.

She stopped and frowned, puzzled.

Suddenly she heard a soft laugh behind her back. How dare he laugh! She turned round in anger.

And froze.

Blinked.

Smiling broadly, Ed reached for a small bundle of black fur, lying on the bed among the folds of the blanket, and picked it up. He held the sleepy kitten out to Sophie.

For a moment she could only stand there, gaping at him and feeling extremely stupid.

Then, embarrassed and totally nonplussed, she slowly stepped closer and carefully took the kitten. It sniffed her hands and looked at Sophie with big greenish eyes. Sophie turned her gaze from the kitten to her husband.

"Brunette. Green eyes. And yes, I'm really in love!" Ed's smirk became an all-out grin. "You're jealous, Soph! My God, you're jealous!" He burst out laughing and sat down on the bed behind him, looking with amusement at Sophie.

The foolishness of the situation finally caught up with her and she blushed.

"Meet Cassie," Ed said still smiling, "She's a cat," he added unnecessarily.

An incredible sense of relief flooded though her, making her knees went wobbly and Sophie almost fell into the chair next to her, still holding the kitten. Her heart was pounding. All of this seemed strangely unreal. There had been no other woman. Spike was talking about a kitten. Just a kitten!

"Sophie, may I ask," Ed asked, and without waiting for her response continued," how did you find my place? You've been stalking Greg?"

She raised her head, looking at her broadly smiling husband opposite her; his eyes twinkled with mischief.

Sophie nodded reluctantly.

"Soph, your ears are pink." Ed began to laugh again.

She couldn't help herself, she smiled back. "Where did she come from?" Sophie asked quietly, stroking the kitten on her lap.

"Well, she kept me alive at one moment ..." Ed shrugged carelessly.

Sophie glanced at the crutches that Ed still held in his hands. "This?" she asked him.

Ed nodded, frowning slightly.

"Care to tell me about it?"

He was silent for a long moment, looking fixedly and gravely at her. Sophie caught the twitch in his hands as they suddenly clenched into fists, the tightening of his lips, the way his nostrils flared just a little. Something dark flashed across his face.

It was bad, very bad, she realized and she was pretty sure that Ed was not going to answer just as it had been before, when he avoided any conversations about what had happened at his work.

But to her great surprise Ed began to talk, briefly, omitting details, his voice was perfectly expressionless. Nevertheless, Sophie understood everything without needing to go into detail.

God, Ed could have died there.

She listened to him in horror but little by little the horror was replaced by pain.

Ed could have died; he'd had surgery; he'd spent two weeks in hospital, and no one had informed her. Obviously, Ed had insisted on it. He had not wanted me to be with him at that time. Okay, there was no other woman, but what did it matter if Ed no longer wanted me back in his life? Were we still just 'having a trial separation' or had we split up irrevocably?

Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but where she was.

The urge to flee almost won out but the impulse was gone in a matter of seconds. This is exactly what she had done two months ago, instead of trying to find ways to cope with the problem. She had convinced herself that she done this for Clark's safety. She was doing what she believed was right and best for him… and for Ed…wasn't she? But to be honest, she had just leaved her husband to deal with his problems all alone. She was the one who should have been with him, and she wasn't. So why should you feel surprised and offended that Ed did not want you with him anymore? she asked herself bitterly.

"And in sorrow and in joy… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..."

Her chest felt tight with hurt and guilt. No. Running away both emotionally and physically wouldn't fix anything.

Pensively, she continued to stroke the kitten in her lap. "And then you decided to keep her?" She lifted her face to look at Ed.

"Well, it's more like she decided to stay with me," he chuckled but suddenly became serious, "Someone was keeping her in that basement, Soph. The vet said that her eyes were very sensitive to light. Maybe she'd spent her entire life there, locked up, almost without light. Alone. In the darkness. Surrounded by high walls only..." He spoke slowly, thickly before falling silent.

There was something in Ed's voice, which made her heart clench with anguish again. Who was he talking about now when he talked about the loneliness, the walls and the dark, she thought. The kitten, or himself?

Sophie looked at him closely. No, this was definitely a different Ed Lane. Not that gloomy, closed off, depressed, intimidating man she parted from two months ago. Not the man who had openly avoided her and Clark, who had begun to frighten her, even terrify her. Not the man with his innumerable 'fines' that he usually used to forestall having to 'talk'. She could see in his face that the hard shell of resistance was gone. Something had changed in him.

Another look. Another smile.

Open.

No walls.

Something had happened and now sitting in front of her was the Ed Lane back to his old self.

The same strong face with a charming broad smile, the deep crease of concern between his eyebrows, little wrinkles at the corners of his laughing and so intent chill-blue eyes. Her Ed.

Her heart missed a beat in her chest.

She brushed an errant lock of hair from her forehead, "It's funny… You always said that men do not own cats. Men own dogs. You always wanted a dog, Eddie."

"But you never wanted a dog," he said quietly.

"Because I always wanted a cat," she replied sadly.

"But I never wanted a cat and..." he paused.

She nodded, "And we never talked about it. So we never had any cats or dogs ..." She smiled bitterly.

Ed lowered his head, frowning. "Do you think if we were talking about this ... If I was talking? Talking to you? Maybe we would not have come to where we are now?"

"We're still talking about a cat and dog issue, Ed?" She chuckled at him.

He frowned but said nothing.

Sophie decided to change the subject.

"What about your leg? Is there a lot of damage? What did the doctors say?"

Ed gave a little half shrug, "Simple fracture. But there is some damage to the muscles and ligaments. Doctors still have some work to do on it... But they say there is a good chance that within 2 to 3 months I'll be fine."

The last line was tossed out casually, but she couldn't help an annoyed grimace at his traditional "I'm fine". God, how much she hated those words.

Obviously, Ed noticed her irritation and she felt him tense expectantly. There was an awkward pause between them and the brief feeling of returning intimacy and warmth disappeared.

In the silence Sophie heard the kitten purring on her lap, the sound was surprisingly loud and so ... peaceful. Sophie kept stroking it, nervously biting her lips, at the same time wanting to but afraid to start talking again. She desperately needed Ed to give her a sign that he didn't want her to leave... but Ed remained silent.

Sophie sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "So… Do you need anything?" she asked and winced, as she heard how dry and cold her question sounded.

"No, no, it's okay," Ed replied hastily, "The guys visit me every day, bring me food, everything I need. I'm f..." he faltered, his shoulders slumped.

"Okay, well… If you're fine…" she said and glanced nervously at her watch, "...I need to go. Feel better." It wasn't what she wanted to say. She swallowed hard, lowered the kitten down to the floor, then stood up and stepped toward the door.

"Sophie, wait!" Ed's voice stopped her.

She looked back. Hope flooded her.

"Would you like some coffee? Tea? Sorry, I should have offered before. Not used to you as a ... as a guest," Ed said quickly, looking at her almost desperately.

"Yes, Eddie. I'd like that," she said simply and smiled, seeing how he almost jumped at her words.

"Hey!" Ed exclaimed, beaming like a teenager who just got a consent to his first proposal for a date, "Are you hungry? I have food! It's real!"

Well, now she was genuinely surprised. "You mean no canned goods and sandwiches, but REAL food?"

"Yeah, I have!" Ed nodded, flashing his patented thousand watt smile, "Too much to be honest! It's in the fridge! The guys bring me something almost every day."

"Do you really let them babysit you?" She raised her eyebrows in astonishment. What should have happened to Ed Lane that he allowed himself to accept their help? Usually he grew weary of anyone's assistance very fast.

She glanced at Ed, who was looking a little embarrassed. "Well, they say that they come to visit Cassie, they care only about her, not me. That they bring me food only because if I die from starvation, I will not be able to care for her," He shrugged and laughed.

Sophie laughed too. God, it was so good to laugh with him...

Ed pulled his crutches around, got to his feet and moved down the hall to the kitchen.

A moment later Sophie followed him, feeling a little stunned. She was not at all hungry.

She hesitated in the doorway, watching Ed standing in front an open refrigerator with a food container in his hand, surreptitiously sniffing at the food. Cassie was fawning round his legs.

"Something wrong with your real food?" Sophie asked quietly and smiled, seeing the panicked look that Ed threw her.

"Uh, I'm not sure. They all bring me something ... I think this is what Shelley's cooked. Or Jules? Hell, I don't remember! Soph, can you check this out ... Should this smell so strange?" He handed her an open container.

She smelt it and immediately made a face. "God, Ed!" She grabbed the container and threw it into a trash can.

"How many days has it been in your fridge?" she asked and shook her head. "Move out the way," Sophie stepped closer and pushed Ed aside. She began to pull numerous other containers and packages out of the refrigerator, opening them and verifying their contents. "Damn, Eddie, your friends have been taking care of you; they have even cooked for you, why didn't you eat it? Now that is bad!" She gave him a reproachful look.

"Hey! I have eaten!" Ed cried out defensively, "I just can't eat it all! It's too much, I keep telling them, but they don't listen. Hold on, Sophie, don't throw it all away!" He reached out and grabbed a pizza box, from Sophie's outstretched hand.

"Why?" Sophie turned to him in surprise.

"This pizza looks kind of okay," Ed opened the box and probed the lone piece of pizza with his finger.

"Okay?" she grimaced and Ed laughed at her expression. "It looks like it's almost grown its own feet," Sophie snorted, taking the pizza box and without hesitation throwing all the spoiled food in the trash can. Then she turned to Ed, "Well? I guess the issue of any real food here is closed. So…" she paused suddenly not quite sure what to do next.

"So… I could get takeout delivered. If you can wait until it arrives," Ed offered, smiling. "Till then I could entertain you with conversation. Well… if you want to," he paused.

There was another awkward pause. Sophie hesitated. She did not feel herself ready for any conversation yet at the same time she realized the necessity of it.

"Omelette…" Ed said quietly and she was surprised to hear his voice was almost beseeching, "I… I could make an omelette ..."

She could barely hold back a smile. Ed cooked it in the morning after their first night, trying to impress her. He succeeded. He burned it to a crisp.

An unexpected warmth flowed through her at this recollection.

She made up her mind. "I hope the coffee in your house is not covered with something gray and fluffy?" she smiled at him a little shaky.

Ed's face lit up. "Coffee is fine!" He suddenly smiled that boyish smile, the one that had always melted her heart, "And Jules got me some cookies yesterday, they're good! You just have a seat, Soph, I'll do it right now!" He gently pushed her to the table and watched as she sat down, as if afraid that she might change her mind and leave.

Sophie rested her elbows on the small kitchen table and leaned her chin on her hands. She watched him pour coffee into the filter, add water to the pot, and switch the machine on, his actions direct and efficient as always despite the crutches under his arms.

Suddenly she remembered their first meeting, when Ed Lane was the same strange combination of bold and brassy yet so shy, his body language saying Yeah, I'm in control but his eyes looking like he was terrified she'd turn down his request to dance. Sophie smiled at the memories.

The kitten bumped its head against her leg and rubbed on. The sensation was pleasant and calming and she felt herself begin to lose some of her nervous tension.

Ed turned back toward her, tilting his head to stare. "What are you looking at?"

"You," she said thoughtfully. "Where'd you ever learn to be so... domestic?"

He shrugged and turned away, "I didn't have much choice," he said so softly she could barely make out the words.

He reached out to get a cup from the top shelf, and at this moment his right crutch dropped out from under his arm. It struck the tile with a resounding crack and Sophie saw the small kitten, who had been peacefully situated under the table, speed off into the other room.

Sophie was on her feet, intending to help, but did not have time to do anything. Balancing unsteadily on one foot, Ed hastily leaned forward to pick up his crutch. Too quick. Losing his balance, he fell heavily to his knees.

"Ed!" Sophie rushed to him in horror.

"Stop it!" Ed ground out through an immobile jaw. "I'm fine!" He pushed aside her outstretched hands sharply and forcefully.

Silently, she lifted the crutches and handed them to him. She stumbled back a step when, with a growl, he tore the crutches from her hands and threw them aside. The memory of Ed, shaking Clark, his face contorted with same wild rage and fury, instantly came back to her mind's eye.

Nothing has changed... she told herself bitterly, the same Ed Lane who had so terrified her, he is still here. And he will always be here.

She took another step back.

Silently she watched as Ed dragged himself to his feet, using the edge of the counter top. For a few seconds he stood with his back to Sophie, his head bowed, gripping the counter so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Yes, the same Ed Lane, the durable one, who supports and protects and keeps his family and his team safe at all costs. But not being able to accept any help for himself. He is here, too…

"Shit!" She suddenly heard him moan, covering his eyes with a hand. Then he slowly turned to her. His composure was coming back; his face pale but expressionless and controlled. His eyes were still not looking at her. "Okay. Okay. I know. I messed up again," he said hoarsely and she saw the effort it took him not to crumble, the barely noticeable tremble in his tightly pressed lips that betrayed the emotion he was struggling to wall up inside. "If you want to leave you can, Sophie... I'll be fine…"

He trailed off and just stood there, leaning heavily against the counter and waiting for her answer; waiting for her decision; waiting for her to leave or stay.

She knew all too well if she left now, it would most likely be for ever.

If she would stay…

Her heart squeezed in her chest, her thoughts churning.

Did she really want to do this? Did she want to get involved with him again? Let him back in her life, accepting him as he is, with all his stubbornness, and silence, and anger; with all his nightmares, and pain; with his job and his team. With all his past and present, the revealed and the hidden.

Her head said no, no, no; but her pounding heart wasn't listening…

She stared at him silently, this man who had a world of guilt and pain all walled up inside him, eating away at him. This man who had been her tower of strength all these years, this man she had loved so deeply and fiercely, the only man she had ever wanted in her life, the man she had lived with and loved, the one man she both loved and hated, needed and was terrified of needing; the man who had loved her more than anyone ever had, and who had hurt her more deeply than she could ever have imagined.

She still needed him. She'd always needed him. Even when she'd hated and scared him, she'd needed him.

And he'd needed her, she knew; even when he couldn't say the words, when he could only stand there mutely looking at her, numb and overwhelmed with guilt and pain, waiting and fearing that she would leave.

Such a strong man, she thought, and to be so needy. Most people never saw this side of him, never saw the depth and the fragility of his strong heart. They saw only the brave man, the warrior, the firm and adamant leader of an elite police unit, often arrogant, unexceptional, almost impudent. They didn't see the man who felt too deeply, who turned his anger in on himself, who now needed a hand to lift him out of the darkness and back into the light.

He was who he was, not able to open up and let the hurt show, not to anyone, not to her, because he still held onto that misguided notion that toughing it out was what a man did.

Tough it out, no matter the price.

Sophie didn't think anymore, didn't consider what she was doing or why, she just knew it felt right. Without saying a word she took a step to one side, got the coffee cups from the top shelf and set them down on the kitchen table.

"Soph…" she heard behind her back and turned around.

Ed was looking at her. The sharpness from his eyes was gone, his shoulders hunched, his demeanor defeated. Without the anger, he just looked drained. "I don't want you feeling sorry for me. You don't need to stay here ... out of pity," he said wearily.

She felt the backs of her eyes stinging and she slowly closed the distance between them.

Face to face, their gazes met, barely inches apart.

For a long moment, neither one moved but then Ed set his jaw and looked away. Sophie reached over, softly turning his face to hers. She was afraid she'd drown in the depth of his eyes, in the raw need and the naked pain she suddenly saw there.

She loved this man with all her heart.

"Out of pity? And if it is not out of pity?" she said slowly and gently ran her hand over his cheek, feeling the grain of his stubble tingle under her fingers. She doesn't expect the flush of heat that runs through her at this sensation. "If I want that? If I want to be here, with you? If I want to take care of you?" Sophie looked into Ed's face, then her eyes ran over his head and she gently smiled and brushed her fingertips over Ed's scalp, touching the fresh scar on his temple, "What if I missed you?" Her eyes flicked up to meet his gaze." What if I am, Eddie?"

His gaze changed from gloomy to wonder and then to hope and he reached out, touching her jaw, and she leaned into his palm with a contented sigh, her eyes drifting shut, savoring his touch.

"Did you... miss me?" his voice was husky, his fingers slipping into her hair and the thumb stroking gently over her cheek. She nodded and he suddenly drew her closer to him.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and it caught in her throat as she inhaled his scent, the familiar, comforting smell of his skin and sweat and of the after shave that he always wore...

And then his arms were wrapped around her in that familiar way she yearned for, and she remembered how much comfort he could bring her, how much strength and joy and love.

"I… I've missed you so much…" he whispered but she put up her face for him and pressed her lips to his.

He moaned low and grasped the back of her head, deepening the kiss, his hands were sliding up under the soft fabric of her shirt.

She leaned toward him as her mouth responded eagerly to his, her hands finding the edge of his sweatshirt, lifting, running along his ribs and his chest and then down to brush across the straining fabric of his sweats...

##

Aweek later.

"You know, it's... bizarre…" Sophie was lying spooned in front of Ed, his arms wrapped securely around her.

"What's bizarre?" Ed asked, gently smoothing her hair.

"All this", she waved her hand around, "I came here, as a guest. It looks like..."

"Like a date, right?" Ed laughed. He slides an arm around her waist, drawing her closer.

"Yeah. You've noticed too?" She put her hand on his, lacing her fingers through his.

"Sure," he said and kissed her naked shoulder.

She rolled over facing her husband and stretched sweetly. "Listen… Let's keep this apartment for a while? I ... I like it here ..."

"You said it's tiny! And seedy!" Ed smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"But tiny apartments promote and stimulate being closer to each other," she smiled, hugging him tightly.

He hugged her back, kissing her neck, tickling her sensitive skin with his breath and laughed as she began giggling and wriggling against him...

#

Ed closed his eyes, his mind drifting. His one arm was still wrapped across Sophie's chest, his face buried in the sweet scent of her hair. He could have stayed like that forever. God, how often had he dreamed of this, how many long lonely nights in this bed, aching for her caresses, her touch; how many cold showers, long empty nights in front of the TV, how many dreams from which he had awakened to the rude reality of an empty bed and an empty heart?

Now he felt that his life, almost shattered to pieces, had gradually come back to him, beginning to fit again into one whole.

There was no sense in deceiving himself - he hadn't done anything for this. Greg and Wordy were right. The only thing that Ed had been doing all this time was building new walls, hiding himself, pushing away all who loved him, drowning in self-pity, and as a result nearly bringing himself to the point of no return ... It had nearly cost him everything.

Then fate had helped him. Saved him. Destroyed, blew up the walls around him, literally and figuratively.

He had been given the new chance which he had craved. A chance to fix it all, a chance to come out of that dark place where he had trapped himself, barricaded himself from everyone. Maybe he would succeed ... In any case he would try. He promised this to himself then, in the basement.

He opened his eyes. Sophie watched him silently.

"Sophie?" He raised himself on his elbow, looking at her. "I need to tell you something," he paused for a moment, still struggling with his doubts.

She looked at him calmly. "Whenever you're ready, Eddie..."

He swallowed hard, licked his suddenly dry lips. "There may be things that can scare you. More than scare…" he asked in an undertone and looked at her questioningly, needing her to understand.

She nodded, "I know." Gently, she caressed his cheek, kissed his tightly pressed lips and his tenseness began to release.

A loud and pitiful meowing sounded near the bed.

Sophie gasped and broke the kiss, pulling away from her husband. "Oh, poor girl, we forgot all about you, I'm so sorry!" she sang in a little voice and reached for the kitten, lifting it onto the bed. She laid Cassie between herself and Ed and the kitten, with a satisfied air, immediately began to purr loudly, butting her chin with its forehead.

"Hey, I'm jealous!" Ed pouted.

"She likes me," Sophie laughed softly when the kitten tickled her skin with its tail.

Ed moved closer, leaning over her, "I like you more," he whispered, kissing her. "Correction. I love you, Soph."

"Love you too." She took his face in her hands, palms on each cheek. She kissed him, her touch soft, tender, full of love, her lips against his eyelids, forehead, his lips… "And no matter what you're going to tell me, it will not change. Ever," she whispered softly, "Tell me…Tell me everything…"

And something in Ed's chest loosened, a tight fist that had been clenched around his heart for years.

Then, as he gently stroked the loudly purring kitten that was curled up beside his stomach, Ed quietly began his confession...