Thanks to Mary, Kitty, and Donna for all their amazing help and to you guys for being all sorts of wonderful!

Day 21

Edward…

"Bella, here's the thing. The day before I met you I was here, dressed as Santa, and I kissed an elf… not a real elf obviously, someone dressed up as an elf. I never really thought I'd find her and then, just when I finally realized how crazy I am about you… it turns out the elf is Alice."

I groaned at how ridiculous I sounded. I was trying desperately to come up with a way to tell Bella that I'd kissed Alice that didn't end up with her hitting me or refusing to speak to me again. Since the unexpected turn of events, I'd done nothing but worry, stress, and panic over what was going to happen when she found out.

I was pacing up and down in the doctor's lounge when I heard the tap on the door and Embry poked his head inside. "Everything okay, Embry?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, Doc. I just wanted to say goodbye." He smiled the biggest smile I'd ever seen. "Mom's just taking all my stuff to the car and then we're outta here."

I reached out and shook his hand with a chuckle. "I'm not getting any closer to you than that, I don't trust you."

"My mom's making me tell everyone that I'm sorry," he said in disgust. "I've already told the nurses but they were too busy throwing a party to celebrate my discharge."

I laughed. "You're quite something Embry Call, and I want you to keep in touch. It's going to be really quiet around here without you."

"I guess I'd have been really quiet forever if it hadn't been for you, Doc," he said quietly. "Thank you."

I forgot my worry about him having a trick up his sleeve, and gave him a hug. As soon as my arms closed around him I heard a loud farting noise and Embry burst out laughing.

"Gotcha!" He showed me a Whoopee Cushion hidden underneath his arm. "Mom said I could keep this."

"I'll never learn, huh?" I laughed and we walked over to his mother.

Despite his wild behaviour, everyone was happy to see him so full of life and happy. The nurses just kept a distance from him as they said their goodbyes. Just as he was about to leave, he turned around and said, "Hey, Doc, I almost forgot."

"Forgot what?" I asked.

"Tell Elf-girl I'm sorry I busted her face with the crutch." He smiled apologetically. "I didn't mean for her to get hurt."

"That wasn't the elf, it was her friend, Bella, but I'll make sure to tell her," I told him sadly and he frowned.

"That was definitely Elf-girl, Doc. I saw her after she came out of the closet, remember?" He winked.

"That wasn't Bella… it was her friend," I repeated but he shook his head defiantly.

"I'm pretty sure it was the elf, Doc. She had the costume with her when she was talking to you."

"Huh?" I asked. "She had what… where?"

"She put it behind her back—I could see the beard sticking out of the top." He shrugged. "Whoever she is would you still tell her I'm sorry?"

"Tell who you're sorry?" Rose appeared beside me giving Embry a cautious look. "What have you been up to now?"

"I was just asking the doc, to say sorry to Elf-girl for hitting her in the face, but he's gone all weird." Embry pointed his thumb in my direction.

I saw Rose look at me and then back to Embry. "You know Bella's the elf?" she asked him and he shrugged.

"Alice is the elf," I said slowly. "Embry told me Alice was the elf."

"Hey, I didn't tell you that," he argued.

"You said that Elf-girl had been here talking to Rose and she was wearing a stupid reindeer hat." I turned around to face Rose. "I came downstairs because I thought it was Bella… fuck I wanted it to be her so much and then Alice was standing there in the stupid reindeer hat!"

"First of all," Rose said and slapped the back of my head. "Watch your mouth, Doctor Cullen, this kid needs no encouragement."

"Hey," I grumbled and saw Embry laugh.

"Second of all, why didn't you just open your fuck… um… mouth? About ten seconds before you came into the room, Bella gave Alice her hat back." Rose went to slap me again but I dodged out of the way. "Bella was the elf you moron, she just didn't know how to tell you because of Tanya and then she thought she'd left it too long. I told her she should just come right out, but noooohhh she had to play it her way. You both need a good slap."

"Bella's the bearded elf?" I whispered and she nodded. "Bella's my elf girl?"

"Yeah," Rose said and my smile grew bigger. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"I may have a plan," I said my smile now a grin that was so wide my face was hurting. "You can't say anything-"

"No. No way. Nope. Not gonna happen," Rose said fiercely. "I've had to keep my mouth shut for weeks about all of this and that turned into one giant clusterfuck. No offense, Edward, but Bella is my friend and I don't keep secrets from my friend."

"Please, Rose. You can help me… just get her here tomorrow night for the end of my shift. Please?" I begged shamelessly.

"Go on, Miss. Hale, have a heart—it's Christmas," Embry laughed. "I'll help."

"Embry, if she sees you coming she'll probably run the other way," Rose told him and then glared at me. "I'll give you a day, just one day and then I'm telling her."

"That's more than enough," I told her happily.

Thank God for Embry, huh?

Santa and the Bearded Elf was featured on Rob Attack this week. Thank you to Cared for such a lovely review, it was like an early Christmas pressie for me! There are some other amazing festive recs on there, it's definitely worth checking out :)

Thanks for reading. More to come tomorrow!

XOXOXO