A/N. Have you ever heard of Braxton Hicks Syndrome? I have, but I thought it was all a myth until it HAPPENED TO ME. Painful *frowns* And it freaked me out, because I still have a full month before I go to term.
Amyway, on my stories I've been putting little fun facts about myself, just because... well... because I can, I suppose. So! Here's another:
I was a smoker, before I found out I was pregnant... And I miss smoking desperately -_- I told my FOMB that the first thing we do when we leave the hospital is pick up a pack of Marlboro Red for Momma. But I would NEVER EVER EVER smoke near my baby, ever. I've made a rule that all smoking at my flat must be on the fire escape or the roof.
...~oOo~...
Chapter Twenty-One: Not Yet & Not Quite
"Moony?"
"Yes?"
"I need to ask you a favor."
"If it involves removing my organs -"
"God!" Sirius huffed. "That was once. Can we please just get over it already?"
Remus smirked and said, "Okay, as long as I can keep all of my body parts, then sure. What's the favor?"
Sirius cleared his throat. "I need you to stop being handsome."
James, Remus, and Peter all stared at their friend, wondering if Sirius had, once and for all, lost his mind. In the past, Sirius had said some bizarre things, but this was definitely one of the weird ones.
Remus set down his fork beside his plate and said, "Sirius, what the hell are you saying exactly?"
"Well, apparently, you're a good-looking fellow," Sirius said earnestly, bent forward on his elbows. The buzz of the Great Hall hung in the background of their conversation, as well as the clink of silverware and plates.
Deciding he wasn't going to get any reading done, Remus shut his book for their next class and waited for the rest of Sirius's explanation.
"Go on," Remus prompted.
"You're handsome and I need you to stop," Sirius said.
"Why? Having too many randy fantasies about our Moony?" James taunted.
"Shut it, James," Sirius said. "I'm not, but I suspect my girlfriend is... Which is why I am asking you ever-so nicely to quit being a pretty boy."
"Are you really so insecure in your relationship with Hermione that you can't handle her being attracted to someone else?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow.
With a sigh, Sirius said, "It's not just 'someone else' - it's you! You're my best mate and you understand her psychobabble stuff and I don't and... well, on top of being a Moony and a genius, she thinks you're attractive!"
"Do you really think Hermione would leave you for Remus?" Peter asked, brows furrowed. He didn't think that sounded like Hermione at all.
"Even if she did," Remus cut in before Sirius could go on a tangent, "I wouldn't be receptive. I'm not interested. Sure, she's pretty and smart, but I just wouldn't be able to handle kissing her when I know she's slept with you."
Sirius's face stilled. He felt his ears get warm and he tipped his head down so that his hair would hopefully hide his reaction.
"What's your problem?" James asked, landing an elbow to his friend's ribs. "Is she not good in the sack or something?"
Sirius mumbled something and all of the other Marauders leaned forward to hear more clearly.
"Pardon?" Peter said.
"Yeewoodntnooooo."
"Huh?" James repeated, eyebrow raised.
"I said," Sirius said, exasperated, "I wouldn't know, okay?! There! I've said it! I've been with Hermione for months and we are yet to have sex, shag, make the beast with two backs, bump uglies, and what have you!"
Remus's eyes went wide. "You're joking. Because the Sirius Black I know could charm a girl out of her knickers after an hour of flirtation in Transfiguration. Are you really saying that you and Hermione have been formally dating for quite a while and you have yet to work your slimy hands into her pants?"
Sirius was glaring darkly, but it mostly looked like a pout to his friends.
Sirius was a man. He was tall, broad-shouldered, built with muscle, and had five o'clock shadow. So the fact that he was pouting about his girlfriend did nothing but amuse - and shock - James.
Peter's years of idol worship went to waste in that moment.
"Listen," said Sirius, leaning back and crossing his arms, trying to regain some of the cool that he just lost. "I'm taking my time, got it? This isn't like a cornish hen - it's a turkey. It takes a few days to brine and marinate, and then almost a full day to cook. But once that long preparation is over, you can carve the fuck out of that bird and enjoy."
Peter seemed enraptured by Sirius's advice, intrigued, while James was smirking and Remus was rolling his eyes.
"If Hermione heard you compare her to a -"
"Compare me to a what?"
All the boys jolted upright, Peter even letting out a squeak. They all spun to where Hermione stood behind Sirius, her hair yanked back into a ponytail that was escaping its confines, and carrying three books, her satchel hanging beside her hip. One of her eyebrows was arched suspiciously.
"Hello, darling," Sirius said, jumping out of his seat and facing her, stuffing his hands in his pockets and trying to feign normalcy. He looked down at Hermione and found it easy to smile. "What are you up to?"
"Just grabbing a roll to eat on the way to the library," Hermione said slowly. "What were you comparing me to?"
"A summer's day."
Hermione gave him a blunt look. "I have documented proof that you'd never compare me to a summer's day."
"The sun. Mother Earth. The universe. Everything good in this world, licorice, puppy dogs, and snogging." Sirius dipped down and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "Now, come along, I'll walk you to the library."
"Are you... sure?" Hermione said, biting her lip. "I don't want to take you away from your friends."
"You'd be doing us a favor by taking him away," James told her.
Remus and Peter nodded in agreement.
"Alright then," Hermione said, jamming a lock of her hair behind her ear. "As long as you promise not to do that weird staring thing, Sirius."
"Promise," Sirius said eagerly. He reached over Peter for a roll and handed it to Hermione. "See ya, guys."
All the boys waved as the couple turned to walk away. They all watched curiously at then as they advanced towards the doors exiting the Great Hall - at how Sirius placed one of his hands at the small of her back, at how large his hands were in comparison to her narrow waist and hips. At how he leaned over to whisper in her hair and then nuzzle her hair while one of her hands simply held onto his shirt as they walked.
"Wow, he really towers over her doesn't he?" Peter remarked.
James smiled. "Leave it to you, Wormtail, to notice their height instead of the fact that Sirius absolutely worships her."
Remus nodded. "It's true. But I wonder if she feels the same. I mean, she definitely likes him - but to what degree? Sirius... I think he just might be in love. Is she?"
"And there's always the fact she's hiding something," James went on. "Is she worthy of his devotion?" He paused. "I say we find out. Come on, guys. Hermione and Sirius will be occupied in the library for a while. It's the perfect time to put Operation What's She Hiding into action."
Remus groaned. "We're breaking into her room, aren't we?"
James and Peter were already on their feet.
"If Sirius doesn't want to do a little snooping, then fine, he doesn't have to," James said. "But we will."
...
Hermione glamoured the book. Sirius would see a History of Magic text while she saw the pages inking out in gruesome detail to events of the First War. The Trick was an excruciatingly intimate recount of Voldemort's ranks from the very beginning and the shambles of the Ministry, and the heavy allusion to a secret society.
Hermione had been ignoring the book with a vengeance. She'd been too lost in her own happiness, and too reluctant to let it go - reluctant to face reality - to read it. Too terrified to meet the chapter where the report of one mass murderer Sirius Black was sentenced to life in Azkaban and the "slaughter" of Peter Pettigrew.
The writer, though, seemed negligent to curse Sirius Black's name or to mourn for Pettigrew like most of the articles did - it stated the mere facts and details of the arrest and conviction, what the Auror report stated, the end. It even made it clear that Sirius went without a trial.
And, of course, the chapter at the very end that speculated Voldemort's "death".
The exact text read this:
And so the headlines rejoice and the parties commence at the extinction of the wizarding world's Darkest wizard and his followers. We look forward to years, decades, of peace and serenity, and we are so assured that no one could possibly come along worse than He Must Not Be Named. We glorify an orphaned infant who we credit with our safety.
But I ask you this, fellow witch or wizard. You Know Who was the cleverest of the clever and out-clevered an entire society, a Ministry, Dumbledore himself...
Do we honestly believe, so wholeheartedly, that someone so cunning hasn't found an appropriately clever scheme to cheat death?
Hermione understood immediately why the Ministry would have wanted to prevent the book from reaching shelves at any cost. It made a fool of them, would instill paranoia, and distrust in those in power.
Not only did it laugh in the face of the Ministry's confidence of Voldemort's death, but it also revealed some secrets the government kept during the war. Like the exact number of casualties. And how long the Ministry ignored the attacks. The insufficient number of Aurors dispatched.
"What're you reading?" Sirius asked. "Something boring? Because History is boring. You look pensive. You mustn't look so concerned about the past, Hermione, it's already happened after all."
Looking up from the book and it took a moment to remember that Sirius could only see a History book. "Oh, um. Yes. I suppose so. You know how I get... about the Goblin wars."
In reality, though, the history she was reading was yet to happen. But happen, it would.
Sirius nodded and draped an arm over the back of her chair and fiddled with one of her curls. "Yes, goblins and ogres and house-elves." He smirked and kissed her temple. "You sympathize with everything." He bent forward to land soft kisses to her jaw and cheek.
Hermione gave a shiver. "You're awfully affectionate today," she observed. Not that she minded at all.
"Am I?" he inquired, this voice throatier than usual. Hermione felt the blush crawl up her neck and cheeks. The hand that wasn't toying with her hair was rest on her knee, his thumb drawing slow circles.
"Yes," she answered, her voice raising an octave. She clasped her hands in her lap, trying very hard to remember that she was in a library.
But Sirius's hands were so big and warm and inviting, they coaxed her in until she barely remembered not only where she was, but her name and what she was doing.
"I just have a hard time keeping my hands off of you," he replied, close to her ear, his breath hot.
In the back of her head, Hermione couldn't help but not understand why. She was nothing special to look at, after all. Skinny, narrow, flat, and frizzy.
"Stop thinking," Sirius whispered. "I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It's quite distracting." He took the hand from her knee and stacked all of her things on the table in front of them and set them aside. He twisted her chair, took her by the waist, and promptly lifted her onto the table, centered in front of him. "That's more like it," he said with a smirk, his hands slowly rubbing the sides of her thighs.
"Sirius, you're not even supposed to be in here," Hermione said as he cupped the back of her neck and drew her mouth towards his. "You're banned. If we're caught, it certainly won't help your case..."
Looking her in the eyes, Sirius said, "Hermione. You have spent the last seven years of your life studying your admirably large brain into a fun-less coma. Do yourself - and me - a favor and act like a normal teenager for five bloody minutes."
To some degree, Sirius was right. Even without knowing it, he had proven a very big point. She spent every year of her life as a witch getting into trouble and getting out of trouble with Harry and Ron, always stuck in a crises.
And even with danger looming, she was currently in a timeline where things were still relatively calm. There was no immediate threat, and she only had a few months left with Hogwarts - and Sirius. Who knew how her plans would change come summer?
So, yes. Hermione felt that she deserved normalcy for about five bloody minutes.
Hermione kissed him then, tangling her hands into his silky black hair. They both were breathing raggedly after only a few seconds, and Sirius's plans to keep his hands still were obliterated. They ran up her hips and to her waist, and slid up her ribs, being very very careful to only allow his thumb to "accidentally" brush against the underside of her breast.
"Kitten," Sirius whispered against his girlfriend's mouth. "What do you say... we take this... up to my dorm?"
"Mm-mm," Hermione mumbled back, half moaning and half refuting.
"Why not?" he inquired, toying with the hem of her skirt and caressing her hip.
"Oh, Sirius, I can think of a hundred reasons," Hermione chuckled, still kissing him again and again.
"That's always the problem with you, isn't it?" he sighed. "Always with the thinking."
Hermione put a small amount of space between their lips and said, "One of us has to."
"You can sympathize with goblins, but not your boyfriend?" he pouted. "Doesn't seem fair for me."
Hermione ran her hands through his hair, raking it back away from his beautiful, aristocratic face and enjoying the feel of it through her fingers. "Sirius..."
"Please, Hermione?" He stood up then, so that he was looking down at her sitting once more. He leaned forward and pressed his hands to her back. "I... I like you more than I've liked any other girl and I want you so badly. Your drive me crazy, love."
With a deep breath, Hermione said, "I like you too, Sirius, and I want to make you happy, but... I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Can you understand that?"
"Yes," he said, his face falling. "I'm not thrilled with it, but yes, I understand." Then he smirked. "You know... we don't have to shag. We can just go up to my dorm and snog in the privacy of my bed curtains."
Hermione couldn't help but smile. "Sounds lovely."
Then Sirius swooped down and scooped her up around her waist and lifted her up, carrying her like that along with her things and towards the door.
"Is this necessary?" Hermione asked, arching an eyebrow as her feet dangled.
"Of course," Sirius said with a smirk. "You're my princess, remember?"
...~oOo~...
Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will the boys find in Hermione's room? 3. What does Hermione think will change once summer arrives?
~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~