CHAPTER 21

"If you love me then don't marry him" the Phantom touched her face and gently kissed her "But it will make no difference to us"

"What do you mean?" Christine frowned

"I wouldn't let you stay here with me" he sighed "I love you, I couldn't possibly allow you to spend your life rotting away with me down here. You are an angel, you belong up there with people, with sunlight, not here in hell"

Slowly, Christine began to realise he was right. How could she bring herself to live down here forever. She loved the outdoors, loved the daylight and loved being free. But to leave Erik and go to London? She wasn't sure if she could do that.

"Oh Erik" She sank back down and sat on the curtains "What am I to do?"

"Go to London" he smiled but she could see sadness in his eyes "Please, if you love me then fulfil your life. Let the world hear what an exquisite voice you have"

"You want me to leave you?" Christine despaired. She knew that she couldn't live in the lair forever but thinking that he didn't even want her to hurt her so badly.

"Of course I don't" The Phantom sat down with her and put his arm around her "But I want your happiness more than I want my own. I don't want you to marry Raoul that's for sure"

He pulled her close to him and kissed her hair.

"I don't want you to be with him but I don't want you to stay here either" he inhaled the scent of her beautiful hair "I love you so much, I am setting you free"

"What about what I want?" Christine said indignantly "What if I want to stay here?"

"You don't" The Phantom could feel his heart breaking "I know you too well Christine"

"Again, my mind is a whirl!" Christine put her hands on her head, frustrated "How can I leave Raoul with all our wedding guests tomorrow? I can't just jilt him and walk away. You must realise, he doesn't deserve that. All he has ever done is love me"

"My concern is not for him" the Phantom huffed "he would get over it"

"I love him too much, I can't put him through it!"

"Your love isn't real Christine!" the Phantom ran his hands over her face and through her hair "You want to know what real love is?"

He kissed her passionately and she proved to be more than willing to kiss him back. Without asking his permission, she peeled off his mask and stepped back to look at him.

"Christine, why must you…."

"Because I want to see the face I am kissing" Christine smiled and run her hand over the deformed part of his face "Let me love your face as much as I love you"

She ran light kisses over his deformity and traced them down his neck.

"See, your face poses no horror to me" Christine whispered lovingly "I could look upon it and smile, kiss it and smile"

As if to prove her words, she kissed him again. Softly, letting her lips move with his and letting the heavenly feeling consume her.

Feeling as if he was starting to lose control, the Phantom stepped back.

"We must stop" he shook his head.

Reluctantly Christine nodded. If they had carried on, she had no idea what it would lead to and she couldn't betray Raoul like that.

"I need to sleep now"

"Of course you do" the Phantom smiled "You have a lot to think about"

He took her in his arms and embraced her. Lightly kissing her head, he then looked into her eyes.

"Whatever decision you make….." his voice was serious "do not include me in it for it just can't be. If you decide against marrying Raoul, and I most deeply hope you do, then you should go to London and make a new start"

"But Erik, I…"

"No you must listen to me" the Phantom held her tightly "I love you too much to confine you to here and I want your career and your life to excel"

Numbly, Christine nodded. The choice was not going to be easy. A life of luxury in Paris with Raoul, who loved her very much, or a new start and chance to sing again in London.

Suddenly, she stopped caring for the decision she was going to have to make. Only one thing mattered at the moment.

"Erik, please just grant me one more wish before I have to leave you tomorrow"

Hearing those words tore the Phantom apart. He would miss her so much, knowing her would never see her again. It was too much.

"Anything you want" the Phantom forced a smile

"I want you to sleep with me tonight"

"Christine, can you not see how inappropriate that would be?" the Phantom frowned

"I just mean to hold me, and for me to hold you" Christine quickly added "I need to feel you next to me tonight. We have just one more night together, I need to know you are there the whole time"

Sighing, the Phantom turned away to think. It sounded wonderful but how could he let her leave him after she had spent a night in his arms. Especially if she decided to marry Raoul, how would he deal with that.

"That is the one thing I cannot do" he spoke determinedly and turned to face her "I promised to let you leave and I'm not sure if I could do that after spending a night holding you"

"You will because you love me" Christine placed her hands on his face and started to run her fingers over the deformed side again.

"Just for tonight, let me hold you and think that everything is alright" she begged

The Phantom could feel his defences crumbling as she touched his face.

"Alright" he nodded "But please tell me if I hold you too tight or too close"

"I don't think you could get close enough to be too close" Christine laughed and took his hand.

Walking towards the swan bed, she felt so happy at the thought of holding him all night.

Christine, slowly got into the bed and pulled the covers up over her, sleeping in this dress was going to be uncomfortable but she had to keep clothing between their bodies, otherwise she felt sure that they would give in to their passion. She watched, transfixed, as the Phantom started to remove his cloak, then start to unbutton his shirt. She raised her eyes to his face and noticed him start to blush.

"Please don't stare" he grimaced "I have not undressed in front of a woman before and I certainly haven't held you against my bare skin before"

Leaving his trousers on, he slipped into bed beside Christine and looked into her eyes.

"This feels right" she whispered

"I know" there was a trace of sadness in his voice again.

Hating to hear the sadness, Christine kissed him again and he drew her closer.

Floating, falling

Sweet intoxication

Those words swam around in Christine's mind as she slowly kissed the Phantom. She felt like she was indeed being intoxicated and it was a heavenly feeling.

She suddenly stopped kissing him. It was wrong to provoke a man like this, also she had a feeling that kissing him any longer would make her lose control too.

The Phantom wrapped an arm around her and drew her closer to him. She lay her head on his chest and stayed silent, listening to the sound of his heart beating and thinking what a glorious sound it was.

"I love you Christine" the Phantom's voice cracked with emotion as he kissed her hair

"I love you too" Christine snuggled up closer again and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

As Christine slept in his arms, the Phantom smiled to himself. This was a night he would hold in his heart forever, regardless of what she decided. He would always have this to cling to.

And she had kissed his face!

With no mask!

His heart ached with admiration for how a beautiful woman like Christine could do that. Trying not to think about tomorrow and what the morning held, he fell into a restful sleep.