Here is the next chapter, this time it took me only 3 days!! And this chapter has more than 3000 words!! IT's the longest i've ever uploaded and now in so less time! I'm a little proud of myself =D I hop you like it there's only one chap left so enjoy this!
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Chapter 21: That was hard!

„Are you sure you want to do that?" he asked her concerned. Thinking about what it would be like for his ex-wife and how hard it would be for her. In no way he wanted to be in Addison shoes right at that moment.

"Well I've no choice… she doesn't want Dr. Martin to examine her, what is understandable in my opinion. I would have also not wanted to be examined by a man when I was at her age…" accepting the fact that there was no other possibility.

"Then I guess I'll sit by her side." He answered simply knowing damn well that it would cost him a lot effort to just sit there holding her hand. But he also knew that this effort was nothing compared to the effort that it would cost Addison.

The two of them walked back to their daughter's room. Both in their own thoughts.

"Wait Derek; before we go back in there I need you to know that your behavior is extremely important. Don't show her that you're scared too, that won't help her. You have to talk to her to distract her from what I'll be doing. Comfort her just as well as you can…" she explained him standing in front of the exam room.

"I'll do my best…" he swallowed hard, then he entered the room together with his ex-wife.

Kayla looked up, fear in her eyes. She had sat there the whole time, hoping time wouldn't past that fast. She'd shaken because she had known what was going to happen once the door opened again. Concentrating on her breathing she'd finally calmed down. So now she sat there on the exam table, not shaking anymore but still scared. She took deep breaths when her mother started talking.

"So there is no other doctor…" she said but before Kayla could panic she added: "That's why I'll do it and your dad will hold your hand."

"O… Okay…" the girl said with shaking voice.

"It won't take long, no need to be scared!" Derek said and got a killing glare from Addison. Well he had to admit that it sounded kind of stupid, after all he didn't know if it was something to be afraid of. But Kayla didn't mind, or hadn't she noticed him saying anything? She seemed so absent. Addison walked over to her daughter laying one hand on Kayla's shoulder while stroking over her cheek with the other hand.

"You're ready?" she asked.

"I guess I'll never be ready…" was the answer she got.

"I know this feeling, but you're not alone. No one else will be here, only the three of us, so you can speak openly." Addison assured.

"I know… I'm just scared and want to leave all of this behind…" Kayla whispered.

"I also want to leave it all behind… so I suggest we start now?!"

"Kayla nodded, unsure what to do and how to behave.

"At first you need to remove your panties…" her mother gave her a comforting smile.

Slowly and with shaking hand she did as she was told. It was very difficult for her even if her mother was now her doctor she was more than scared. She did her best to hide her fear but of course Addison noticed how hard it was for her.

"It's okay to be scared; you don't have to hide it. Take your time and if there is anything you want to know, you can ask me!" she sat down on the rolling seat in front of her daughter, looking deep in her eyes in which formed again tears. Derek, who had stood all the time still at the door, moved towards Kayla now and sat down on the chair next to the exam table.

Kayla deliberated about whether she should tell her mum about her worries and ask her all the things she wanted to know before the exam or whether she should just stay silent.

"Well…" Kayla started finally, thinking it might be good to know what to expect.

"You've got a lot, don't you?" Addison asked softly. She knew her daughter had, she knew because every girl had.

Kayla just nodded thinking about how to phrase her question.

"Okay, so we won't start the exam before not every single question of yours had been answered. Ask me then!"

"Ehhrr… will it… will it hurt?"she stammered the question that bothered her the most.

"It shouldn't be significantly painful no, it may be a little unpleasant yes, but not painful!" her mum assured. She smiled to comfort the girl but it had no effect.

"Is there anything else you want to know?"

"Will it be very unpleasant?" she bit her lower lip.

"That depends on you, the more you clench the more unpleasant it is. So just try to relax. You can talk about something else, anything that comes to your mind, to distract yourself. That helps many girls!"

"What do you tell girls that come to you for their first exam and are afraid of it? Do you tell them anything else than this?" there was still this huge fear in her eyes.

"I tell them they could take someone with them who comforts them and I tell them what I'm doing during the exam." Addison answered patiently.

"You'll do that also now, when you're examining me, right?" she asked not sure if it sounded stupid.

"Of course I'll do, assumed you want me to." She said and smiled.

"That's good… I guess…"

"Is there anything else you want to know before we start with the exam?" Addison asked, but there was nothing so Kala shook her head and her mother smiled again. She just couldn't think about any other reaction. It was too hard, every other reaction would have been out of place.

"So ready?" she asked again and now Kayla knew that there was no way out of this, so she said, "Yes… let's get it behind!"

"Good, so now that everything is clear and that you're removed your panties it's time for the stirrups. Just put your feet in them." Addison said pulling down the stirrups. Kayla felt sick but however she did it.

"That's good, now bent your knees and scoot your bottom down to the edge of the table." Addison went on taking deep breathes to calm herself. Kayla hesitated at first but finally she did what her mother had told her to do.

"I know, it feels strange, that's normal. Now try to relax. Everything will be fine!" she walked over to the little drawer in the corner of the room and took a speculum out of it.

"That's a speculum, I'm going to insert it into you vagina, that might feel a little awkward…" she said trying not to think that it was her daughter who lay in front of her.

"But that's a large one…" Derek suddenly found his voice again and was shocked when he saw what his ex-wife hold in her hand.

"That's the smallest I have, actually it's for virgins!" she said now to Derek. Apparently he had forgotten what she'd told him outside, hadn't she mentioned the importance of his behavior? Hadn't she told him not to show his fear? Had it been too much she'd asked for?

"Oh… okay…" he stuttered noticing her gaze that told him unambiguous to shut up.

"So relax sweetie, I'll be gentle." She turned her attention back to Kayla who lay scared and exposed on the exam table. The girl started crying.

"It's okay, it'll be over before you know it had started!" her father tried to comfort her while her mother started.

"Ouch…" Kayla whispered suddenly.

"Addie, what are you doing? You're hurting her!" Derek yelled.

"You should distract her but until now you said nothing to do so! And it can't hurt, she just doesn't feel comfortable!" she argued pissed off with Derek and his weakness. Why was it that hard for him to hide his feelings? When she could hide and push away hers to be able to do her job, Derek could at least spend more effort on it than he was doing now.

"And why did she say "ouch"?" he asked still angry.

"Because you are busting my hand dad!" Kayla interfered.

"Oh… sorry…" her dad said and relaxed his grip.

"Does anything causes you discomfort?" Addison went back to the exam.

Kayla shook her head. Her mother had been right it wasn't painful only a little unpleasant. But she could live with that.

The cafeteria was now full of people; among those people were also the two doctors from Seattle Grace. After their conversation about the feelings between Mark and a certain red haired they'd actually wanted to go to Kayla and her parents but when they'd entered the room Kayla hadn't been there and neither had been her parents. When they'd asked about them a nurse had informed them that the girl was getting her exam and so it came that Callie and Mark were in the cafeteria, again.

"What do you think how long will it take?" Mark asked Callie after a few minutes.

"Awww… do you miss her that much?" Callie joked.

"No, it's not about Addison, it's just… it's Kayla actually!" Well it was about Addison but he didn't want to admit it. He wanted to be there for her, to comfort her, to hold her… even if it was a little selfish. Of course he also thought about Kayla, who has been like a niece for him since her birth, but her mother was the one he cared about the most. What wouldn't he give for Addison feeling the same way about him.

"It won't take that long I guess… maybe half an hour until Kayla is in her room again." Callie interrupted his thoughts. He nodded and drunk his coffee.

About 20 minutes later Addison came to the cafeteria to look for her two friends. Her face showed relief when she sank down in the chair next to his. He could smell her perfume, still the same she used to take back in New York when she was married to his best friend.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever done!" she exhaled.

"Was it that bad?" Callie asked concerned eying the red haired.

"You can't imagine how hard! I just examined my own daughter… and she was scared to death because she needed this exam…" Addison explained.

"That's tough…" Mark said.

"Yes! And into the bargain Derek wasn't able to comfort his daughter, apparently he was more scared than Kayla!"

"Oh yeah, that sounds so much like Derek!" Mark smiled, he could see Derek being scared.

"Why?" Now Callie was irritated.

"You know there was this one time in New York…" he started.

~Flashback~
It was a rainy September evening, Derek and Kayla were on a playground near the practice her parents and her uncle Mark worked in. The little girl just turned 4 the week before. Her mother sill had some patients so Derek decided to go play a little with his daughter until his wife was ready. Father and daughter had a lot of fun until suddenly Kayla pitched her chin falling down the slide.

She started crying while he thought of what he should do. It was hard to think clear seeing all the blood on his daughter's chin. Suddenly it overcame him, he had to take her to the practice.

"Mark! Mark! Kayla she's bleeding!" he shouted as soon as he spotted his best friend.

"What happened?" he asked examining Kayla.

"She fell down the slide…"

"it hurts!" the toddler screamed.

"Well, I guess I need to stitch it…"

"Okay sweetie, just squeeze my hand when it hurts!" Derek said picking up his daughter and taking her to an exam table.

"Daddy, nooo" she whined seeing the syringe in her uncle's hand.

"Hey, you're a big girl, don't you?" Mark smiled comforting.

When he anaesthetized the little girl's chin she cried out in pain.

"What you're doing, you're hurting her!" Derek was shocked and didn't know what else to do than to yell at his best friend. But Mark ignored it and went on stitching the little chin.

"Daddy… ouch…" she whined again although she didn't feel any pain.

"Mark! She's in pain. I thought you numbed her chin!" again her father was yelling.

Mark just rolled his eyes; he knew this behavior of Derek. He was always like this when it came to his little princess. After he finished Kayla run to her mother loud yelling.

"Mummy, look uncle mark had to stitch my chin! And guess what it didn't even hurt!"

"Really?!" Callie asked, she couldn't imagine the world class neurosurgeon being this concerned when his little daughter has to be stitched.

"Oh yes! And that's also the way it was today in the exam room!"Addison nodded.

"Okay… well I'll go get another coffee; does anyone of you want also a new one?" Callie asked getting up from her chair. Mark and Addison nodded and then they were alone, only the two of them. Mark wasn't sure what to say so he still sat there until Addison took the initiative to speak.

"So I guess I should say thank you?! You were a huge help last night!" she said smiling.

"You don't have to thank me, that's what friend are for!" he said. Friends… that hurt, they would never be more than friends, no matter how much he loved her.

"No, no I feel like I have to thank you… It's not naturally to be there for a person that treated you as bad as I did… and well about that I'm sorry!" Addison really meant it.

"I've already forgotten what you did! Well… I guess I would forgive you everything…" he said but soon he realized what he'd said.
"What do you mean with that…?" did he mean what she thought he meant?

"Just that… ehrr… that we're friends for so long and ehrr… that you mean something to me…" did that sound strong?

Addison nodded and raised an eyebrow at him, not really convinced.

"So it was hard…?" he asked to distract her from his statement.

"Yes, it was… I tried not to think about the fact that it was my own daughter I was examining, but it didn't really work, at least not good as I wished it would…" she explained.

"I wish I could have helped you…" Mark said a little sad.

"You wouldn't have been able to… and you did enough for me within the last 24 hours…" she said smiling to also show how thankful she was.

"I'm sure you were a big help for Kayla!" he said with a smile to make her feel better.

"I don't know… I did it because there was no other female doctor and… well not that I've got a problem with male OB/GYNs but of course a teenager at her age feels uncomfortable with being examined by one…" she looked down.

"Trust me, it was worth it. Kayla loves you for that.

"I… I… I just felt so helpless… I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think of anything else than to smile… and in the same moment I thought that it was stupid to smile and… and…" she bare herself sole to her ex-lover with tears in her eyes.

"It's okay…" he took her in his arms and stroke over her back.

She looked up, right into his eyes, he returned her look. Both felt the rising tension and their faces approached the others one. Yes, he loved her but he couldn't do this step and kiss her, in the end he would be disappointed because Addison would think that she did a huge mistake when kissing him, just as she always did. So he backed off right in that moment when Callie came back. She'd watched the scene already from a few feet away and gave Mark a "know it all look".

"We were… ehrr… yeah… we were just… talking…" Addison stuttered nervously when she noticed this look. But it didn't sound strong; after all she had to admit that talking looked a little bit different, so Callie raised an eyebrow at her.

"Whatever… here are your coffees!" she put the three cups full of hot coffee on the table.

Kayla lay in her bed next to her was her dad sitting on a chair annoying her with his worries. Since her mother had left the room to go looking where Mark and Callie were, was he sitting there asking if everything is okay.

"Are you okay, are you in pain? Or did your mother hurt you when she examined you?" there they were, his annoying questions.

"Dad, I'm fine… it wasn't that bad…" she tried to explain.

"I'm sorry, I'm only worried… you're my little girl and I don't want anything or anyone to hurt you!" he stroke over his daughter's cheek. She looked so much like Addison when she was in med school.

"I'm a little tiered…"

"Sleep sweetie, I'll sit here the whole time!" her dad smiled and she turned around and closed her eyes. Already a few minutes later she was asleep, dreaming of life would be after all this. She wanted to ask her parents since she came here if she could stay here in LA with her mum but neither had she found the right words nor been there the right situation.

When she woke up her mum was back in the room and her father still sat on the chair he had sat on when she closed her eyes.

"Hey sweetie, how do you feel?" Addison asked smiling.

"Better…" she answered sleepy.

"That's good! Ehrr… we've your test results and… well there was no sign of sperm, that means there was no rape!!" she told her daughter.

"I think that's good, isn't it?" she smiled happy that everything was fine.

"Mum?" she added.

"Yes?"

"Thank you… I mean… I guess it wasn't easy to examine me… and you did it anyway… so… tank you!"

"You're my daughter; I would do everything for you no matter how hard it is for me!" Addison stroke over Kayla's cheek, for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"And… I know you didn't want me to but… is there a chance for me to stay here in La with you?" Kayla finally asked not looking into her mother's eyes.

"Well if your father is fine with it, I would like that!" Addison looked to Derek who nodded smiling. He knew that it was what his daughter wanted and even if he would like her staying with him in Seattle forever he didn't want to force her to come back to Seattle.

"But there is one thing I would like to know… Kayla, who was the father of your unborn child?" he asked curious. Well of course there was this thought of killing this little bastard or at least sterilize him on a really painful way for knocking up his little innocent princess.

"Ehhr… to tell the truth… I don't know…" she said trying to hide that she knew exactly who it was.

"Oh… okay…" thank god he believed her, but the look her mother gave her told something else. She raised an eyebrow at her daughter, she knew Kayla just too good to not notice that it was a huge lie that she didn't know with whom she'd sex. But that was something she thought she want to talk about later with her daughter, when Derek wasn't there.

So what do you guys think? I guess you like that it's long?! I hope you also like the storyline in this chapter! Now you've to review and tell me what's going on your heads!
And btw just a question what do you guys think about my english? Is it good or bad or something between good and bad? Because sometimes i wonder how you all understand what i'm writing, cause i don't think my english is that good... well please tell me what you think (about my english and of course about this chapter!!)!!!