A/N: This chapter was extremely hard to write, I got so frustrated with it. I apologise in advance because it is not my best chapter, but I thought I'd better post it as I owe you guys an update.
Anyway, thanks to Aradia la fata for reviewing again! And Merasoua for following and favouriting :)

Hours later, I was laid back against the pillows, utterly exhausted, while Brant stood next to me, holding a little girl in his arms and fussing over me.

"Morgan, you need to bond with her. She's your daughter," he was saying to me, but I couldn't listen. All I knew was that I didn't want that child.

"She's Lot's daughter. I can't, I–" He didn't let me finish.

"Morgan, listen to me. You will love her, I promise you. You just have to give her a chance," Brant was pleading with me now, realising that I was becoming incredibly against even holding the child. I still refused. Didn't he understand that I wanted nothing to do with it? I hadn't wanted it in the first place! It was a mistake.

"Brant, you don't understand. It's as though she isn't mine, she doesn't belong to me, only to him. She looks so fragile and I just…" I trailed off again.

"At least give her a name," he sighed, giving up.

"I…" With all my thoughts directed at what to do with the child, I was shocked that I hadn't even thought of names. Only one came into my mind. "Ava, I want her to be named Ava."

"Ava Pendragon it is then," Brant confirmed.

After a moments silence, I spoke again, knowing that I should tell him really why I couldn't keep the child. "I knew I couldn't be a good mother," I said quietly. "I'm too afraid of hurting her. Love is weakness, that is was what I was told. I'm afraid of loving her too much, like I love you too much." There, I'd admitted it.

"Oh, Morgan," Brant sat down on the side of the bed. "Love is not weakness, it's strength. And true love is the strongest of all. I will always be here for you, and Ava."

"I know, but that's what worries me. If Lot ever finds out, he'll know it's his. He won't have any hesitation in killing you and probably even me, to get her. She'll be a powerful sorceress and he'll want that power."

"We'll protect her, I promise."

At that moment, a loud cry came from the bundle of blankets. Ava had woken up. I flinched. Brant immediately got up and wandered around the room, trying to soothe her by rocking her and whispering softly, but nothing worked.

I didn't do anything but watch for a while before I realised what she wanted. She wanted her mother. I was her mother. She wanted me.

"Brant, pass her here."

He looked up, surprise etched on his face. "Are you sure, Morgan? If you're not ready..."

"Just give her here, Brant, before I change my mind."

Hastily, he passed little Ava over and into my arms. She fit snugly and so, hesitantly, I looked down at the wailing child, not knowing quite what to do with her.

"Shh, Ava, it's alright, I've got you now." I felt so awkward, but somewhere inside me, I knew I could do this. I could be a good mother. I needed to be for I was all Ava had.

That's all it took, I had been right. Ava had wanted her mother. I relaxed slightly as her cries fell quieter and she looked up at me, her blue eyes colliding with my own. That was the moment I realised that I wasn't going to let her go, that she was my child.

"How did you do that?" Brant's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"She just wanted her mother," I replied simply, smiling at him.

Brant smiled back and rolled his eyes. "I told you that you'd make an excellent mother. You already know what she needs when, it's as though you read her mind."

"Brant, please stop this, I may be a sorceress, but I do not read minds," I told him, softly brushing a dark lock from my daughter's forehead.

"Alright, alright, do you want me to take her back, or are you alright with her?"

"I think I'm fine," I replied, the corners of my mouth creeping upwards as I looked down at the little girl who was now gazing up at me innocently. I chuckled.

"I told you that you just needed to give her a second chance, Morgan. She is your child. You will be the one to raise her, you will be the one she looks up to as she grows into a strong, young woman. Not Lot, you."

"I know, Brant, I know. I'm sorry, I… it's daunting. I want to be a good mother, and it's so easy to go wrong. I have made so many enemies and I don't want any of it to cause her any harm as she grows up. She deserves better."

"No," Brant said immediately. "No she doesn't. She needs her mother. I know this is unnerving for you, but, as I've told you before, I'm right here, by your side whenever you need me."

I smiled at him sadly as he bent down to give me a peck on the lips.

"I'll leave you to rest now. Spend time with Ava, she needs you." And with that, he left. The door swinging shut behind him.

Once he was gone, I looked down at the little girl in my arms, unsure of how to interact with her. I had never held a baby before.

"Well I suppose I should start with a hello," I told her. "You're going to have to bear with me though, I don't know how to be a mother."

Ava just continued to stare up at me, a blank expression on her face as she watched me.

"And I feel I should apologise in advance for the mistakes I'll make with you," I continued. "But, I will promise you something, and that is that I will always try my best for you."

I let the tip of my finger brush gently down one of her little cheeks and suddenly she wriggled and reached up a tiny fist. I smiled and let her catch onto my little finger, her grip surprisingly strong.

I felt my heart warm to the little girl in my arms, my little girl, and I was happy just watching her until her eyes drooped shut and the grip on my finger relaxed slightly.

That was when I made my first mistake. I tried to pull my finger free, thinking she'd stay fast asleep. I was wrong. Her eyes flew open immediately and her small face scrunched up before she let out a loud wail.

"No, no, no!" I cried frantically. "Shh, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry, shh!"

There came a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I called, still desperately trying to calm my crying child.

"Vivian, my lady."

I breathed a sigh of relief and gave her permission to enter. I was somewhat glad it was her, for I didn't wish for anyone else to see me in this state.

"What did you want?" I asked, trying to make my voice heard over the continuing wails.

"I heard the child crying, I thought I might be of assistance."

"I don't need any help, Vivian," I replied stiffly, my walls of defence flying up immediately. I wanted to do this on my own, I wanted to learn from my own mistakes.

"Of course, I sincerely apologise, my lady," she said, bowing her head. "I am here if you need me to take her for a bit, you do need to rest."

She went to turn away and suddenly I had second thoughts. Perhaps I needed a little guidance, so that my mistakes were fewer. Plus, it wouldn't do any harm, would it?

"Vivian?"

"Yes, my lady?"

"Do you have any ideas as to what will calm her down?"

"Try rocking her, my lady," she told me, smiling gently. "She's probably just tired, it may help her sleep again." She went to shut the window now that dusk was drawing in.

Looking back down at my daughter, I did as she said, gently rocking Ava in my arms. It didn't take long for her cries to quieten down and soon she was fast asleep again.

I let out a shaky breath, silence had never sounded so good before. "Thank you, Vivian."

"You're welcome, my lady. However, you must rest. Let me take her for a bit while you sleep."

Reluctantly, I handed her over. I knew she was right. I still had a castle to run, and I wouldn't be doing that if I had no sleep. At the moment, the castle was under Brant's command, however, that couldn't last long, for if someone found out, they would see it as a weakness, and as I was already seen as weak to many of the war lords, I could not take that chance. I would have to handle looking after Ava and running a castle at the same time. Perhaps it had been for the best that I had given up my birth right. For now.