Author's Note: Ello' lovelies. So I want to say thank you for all of the reviews! You are all so amazing! Especially my bestie! A note about this chapter, there is part of it written in French, and I used google translator, so if its not right I apologize! Did the best I could do for the story lol. As Always, Read/Enjoy/Review!

Chapter 21: I Want You To See Me

" Some people wish for invisibility, but me. All I've ever wanted is for you to see me."-Anonymous.

' Evy,

Okay, honey you know I love you right? Of course I do, however with that knowledge it doesn't make me any less glad that I'm all the way here in Haiti, and your way on the West Coast when I say this.

You over reacted.

However, I know that deep down you all ready know you over reacted, even if you aren't quick to face the truth, but as your best friend, I can say its understandable. I know how you work, and I know that sometimes, when you feel like your getting over crowded that you tend to just kind of snap, and before you get all pissy about what I'm saying, try to remember that I've been on the receiving end of it.

I don't think Jared is or was purposely trying to over crowd you. I just think things have been so easy between you up until now that he didn't realize you were getting restless.

Now here comes the part your not going to like…You need to apologize. I know it sucks. I really, really do, but I know how much you like him, hell Evy, I know what you wont even say out loud to me. So just promise me, you'll take a few days, gather yourself, and then find the boy and say your sorry.

Love you Evy,

Love,

Brae.

P.S Of course I'm taking care of myself. There was one small accident and a dislocated and relocated shoulder later I'm perfect I promise! And no over reacting, I'm pulling my best friend card!'

I've read the e-mail a million times, and admittedly, I was pissed the first few times. Until finally around the fifth or sixth time of reading over the words the voice of my level headed best friend broke through, and I realized, much to my dismay, that Brae's right. I did over react, and I will have to apologize, but first, I need to just think. Think about where this is going, where I want this to go. If I want it to go at all. I type a quick response and send it off to Braelyn before closing my laptop down for the night, and with a small yawn I curl myself around my pillow and drop into a deep sleep.

I pop awake so quickly that my head spins and I look around, seeing that the sun is barely chasing away the darkness of the night and I search the living room for the clock, groaning when I see that its not even four fifteen in the morning.

And someone is knocking, no make that pounding, on the front door. I grumble as I shuffle towards the door, and I peer through the peephole, surprised to find Jared on the other side pacing like a caged tiger on the porch.

I run shaking fingers through my hair and unlock the door pulling it open, and before I can even extend an invitation for him to come in he brushes past me grumbling under his breath.

" We're going to talk," Jared demands and I open my mouth but he just keeps going on, " Shut up. I'm going to talk. You know what, I was fine before I met you. I was just cruising along. Everything made sense. I had my music, and my friends, and everything was perfect. And then there's you. With all that hair, and those eyes, and lips, and the way you talk, and your confidence, and you just blew everything right to hell! Straight to hell. I have never wanted to be with someone as much as you. I'm so fucking far out of my element its not the least bit funny, and then you just shove me out. Like it doesn't matter. Like the last few months have been nothing! Well, are you going to say anything?"

I stare at him, trying to process the situation, but I cant get over the way his eyes rage. The darkness, the broodiness that just seems to wash over him, fits him like a glove and damn if it isn't appealing. Despite all of that, my temper burns just as hot.

" I'm going to say a lot. I will apologize for snapping at you, but I will not apologize for feeling the way I feel. I will tell you I was wrong for saying things the way that I said them, but I will not apologize for being scared. For being just as much out of my element as you are if not more. I build walls Jared, and yes your one of the only ones who has taken the time to climb over those walls, but I will tell you this, if you cant handle that I have a temper, that I have feelings that you wont always agree with, then there is really no fucking point in this continuing," I say completely level headedly.

" Your right. I tend to forget that people have emotions, besides the happy fuzzy ones," he says sighing and its almost as if the anger he came into this house with just dissipates as he sits on the couch to just stare at me.

" Look, I'm not perfect okay? I will have off days, and I will be the first to admit that on those days I can be a bitch," I say narrowing my eyes when he lets out a chuckle at my words, " But I also know how to say I'm sorry. So why don't we just start over?"

" I like that idea," he says pulling me into a tight hug.

Braelyn's POV

Six weeks.

Six weeks since I landed in Haiti.

Four weeks since Tyson and Nick just showed up.

Three and a half weeks since Tyson punched Chase in the face over my accident, and it was that night I decided that he was worth changing for.

All ready I can feel the difference. Not so much see it because I have been avoiding mirrors, and besides, mirrors are scarce. So I rely on how I'm feeling to know there's a difference. All ready my shorts hang a little looser around my waist, and I feel a sense of smug satisfaction at that fact. Its not that I'm delusional, that I think the only way to keep Tyson interested is by starving myself half to death, even though a small part of me says the skinnier I am, the better. I may never be able to boast the same long legs his ex-girlfriend can, but I sure as hell can be just as skinny.

The only down side to my new 'diet,' are the ill side effects. The on and off dizziness, the rolling nausea that comes and goes in waves and hits when I least suspect it. Even worse than the physical tolls it's the trouble I have concentrating. Trouble I have focusing.

Even now I know I should be making my way to the food tent, to sit and eat with the rest of the crew, to listen to them chatter over stale instant coffee, but I'm having trouble remembering why I'm even bothering. For three and a half weeks I've done the same thing every morning. Made my way to breakfast, sat and played with my food and then made some excuse why I couldn't stick around and eat the rest of what was set in front of me. I have managed to train myself to eat a tiny portion of food a day, and its usually at night when Chase, Charlotte, Nick, Tyson, and myself, sit to eat together before going to the nightly bonfire. To sit and talk, to listen as stories are told, or to sing, loud happy songs and voices filling the night air before finally, one by one, or often in small groups, people troupe off to bed.

" Morning Brae, off to breakfast?" Chase asks as he passes me and I turn to watch him, walking backwards.

" Was thinking about it. Where are you off too?" I ask and he holds up a black duffel bag that I have come to know he uses to carry medical supplies in.

" Gonaives," he says smiling at me, " Have a baby to deliver."

" Your delivering a baby?" I ask and he grins broadly nodding his head, his mouth opening to say something but he quickly snaps it shut when Tyson approaches, carefully draping an arm over my shoulders.

" You coming to breakfast?" Tyson asks and I look between him and Chase and with a pleading look to Chase he gets the point.

" Actually Braelyn, I was going to ask if you want to come along for this one. Might be good if you get some pictures of other parts of the island, and it will definitely be something worth seeing," Chase says and I grin even as I wiggle from under Tyson's hold and squeeze his hand.

" I have to go," I say hugging him quickly but he holds on tightly, and I know without having to try to look over my shoulder that he and Chase are caught up in some sort of testosterone filled stare down.

" I'll come with you," he says and I pull away staring at him in shock. Of course I cant think of a single logical reason he shouldn't come. Other than of course the fact that since the accident he hasn't left me alone. Not for one second. If I go anywhere, do anything, he is there. He even walks me to the showers, standing outside as I rush through the five minutes allotted each of us to clean the best we can, the grit and dirt from our bodies.

" Fine, truck is rolling out in five minutes," Chase says and I groan rolling my eyes as I rush off to my tent to gather my camera bag.

The two hour and two minute drive from Port-Au-Prince to Gonaives is tense. So much so that it's a surprise when I climb from the truck that I don't gasp, dragging in air that isn't filled with such palpable hostility. Of course, Tyson and Chase were perfectly civil, almost sickly sweet to each other, and in all honesty whatever their issue is with each other is getting just a bit tiresome.

I fall back, tugging Tyson beside me while Chase is greeted by a group of women, leading him through the remains of the town which has seen its fair share of disaster.

" If your going to be here, your going to have to just blend. This isn't about you Tyson, this is about a soon to be mother," I mutter crouching down to pull my one remaining camera from my bag, checking that my battery is good.

" What makes you think I'm trying to make this about myself," Tyson asks, and I just look at him smirking.

" Because you came along. Look whatever this thing is going on between you and Chase, is between you guys, but I'm getting tired of it, really tired of it. So you have a choice Tyson, stay and keep your mouth shut, learn to be nice, and get over your inflated ego, or just take the truck and leave now."

" Look, its like I said before I don't have a problem with Chase per say, he just," he trails off when I look at him blandly.

" Yeah, yeah I know, he rubs you the wrong way, I get it. Just, be nice," I say walking with him, easily keeping up with the small group of people leading Chase to the ramshackle house of the expectant mother.

Its beautiful really. The sounds and sights as I crouch low in a corner taking pictures as Chase soothingly talks to the woman, and from what I can gather he's reassuring her, even as he slides on a pair of pale blue latex gloves and lifts the flimsy sheet that is laying over her upraised knee's. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tyson turning his head away and a small part of me finds humor by his obvious lack of comfort in this situation.

Its Chase's sharp intake of breath and the stream of curse words that pass his lips that has the humor dropping away, and he lifts sad eyes to me.

" What? What's wrong?" I ask lowering my camera.

" The baby is breach," Chase says lowly and I feel my heart plunge into my stomach, " I can try and turn the baby, but it may be too late. I'll need help." He clears the small house, save for me, and Tyson, and I look at him.

" I'll help," I say pulling the camera from my around my neck handing it to Tyson with shaking hands, " What do you want me to do?"

" I need you to hold her," he says, his eyes never leaving the woman. I look at her clearly, and realize how young she appears to be. She's just a child herself, " I need you to hold onto her, talk to her, this is going to hurt her."

" Talk to her?" I ask scared suddenly as I position myself behind her, her head in my lap, her eyes searching my face.

" Yes," Chase snaps at me and I grit my teeth swallowing my panic.

" Parlez-vous francais?" I murmur to the woman and her answering nod makes the tightness in my chest loosen just a little. " Quel est votre nom?" I ask wincing when she jumps in my arms letting out a thin scream.

" Johanne," she stammers as I wipe the sweat from her forehead with my shirt.

" Johanne, mon nom est Braelyn," I say keeping my voice steady and smooth, looking up only for a moment to find Tyson staring at the scene we must make, " Je suis ici aider. Le Docteur Porter, il est la pour aider votre bebe."

" What did you just tell her?" Tyson asks quietly as Johanne nods her head at me, her eyes closing as she cries.

" I told her my name, that I'm here to help, and that Chase is here to help her baby," I say covering her hands as she clutches at my wrists.

" Damn it," Chase hisses under his breath, " She's hemorrhaging, there's, there's too much blood." Even now I know the fate of this young girls child, and my heart stutters and breaks in my chest, and somehow Johanne must know that something isn't right.

" Enregistrer mon bebe! S'il vous plait sauver mon bebe," she screams and I wince trying to block out the sound of utter and complete desperation in her voice.

" Tell her to push," Chase says, and I can see that he's as heartbroken as I am as sweat wets the front of his shirt and dampens his hair so that it starts curling around his ears. So that's what I do. I murmur in Johanne's ear, coaching her to push, to push for her baby. Thirty minutes later the baby is free from his mother, and Chase quickly turns laying the baby on a clean blanket he had pulled from his supply bag and he works feverishly over the tiny baby. I feel th e lump in my throat, barely blinking my eyes clear when Johanne's hands slip from my arms and I look down at her, suddenly full of a fear I cannot comprehend.

" Chase!" I calls and he turn his head, tears alive in his eyes when he looks at me, and in that moment I know. I know we've witnessed a tragedy together. A child and mother taken from this world together. A mother who fought to bring her baby into this world, and died for him, but he was all ready gone.

I collapse back against the wall of the house, my eyes closing even as I hear Chase removing his gloves.

" I will go tell the family," he mutters and I just sit there, unable to move. Unable to think.

My entire body shakes as I stand under the freezing cold water of the shower, but it isn't the lack of heat that has my body wracking so viciously. it's the memory of what I witnessed that has my body betraying me.

If I could just scrub away the voice of a scared mother, or the weeping of a young husband as he heard the news that not only his wife but his son died. If only. I snap the water off, wrapping myself in the towel and I step out of the shower, startled when I hear raised voices. I quickly dress and run from the bathroom, only to run right into Charlotte.

" Brae, thank God, you have to come quick, Tyson and Chase are trading blows," Charlotte says grabbing my arm and running.

" What!" I yell and sure enough, in front of the food tent Tyson and Chase stand, both nursing injuries, but from the looks of things Tyson got the worst of it this time around, " Oh my God." I rush to Tyson, lifting his face to find his lip a bloody mess, an impressive cut riding high on his cheekbone.

" He fucking started it!" Chase rages, and I turn on him, much like I did when Tyson was the first to throw a punch.

" So you answer it by beating the crap out of each other! I swear to God you two are like children," I scream, and when Tyson chuckles and I turn on him.

" And you! Why are you so damn insistent on starting trouble! Why did you even come!" I yell, overwhelmed by the emotions of the day, and with my heart thudding brutally inside of me, I throw my hands in the air, " Two people died today. Do you get that? Do either of you get that? Not far from here a family is mourning, and their hearts are broken, and you would think after witnessing something like that the last thing you two would be doing is scrapping like two little boys in the schoolyard fighting over who gets the shiniest toy! Have neither of you learned nothing. Life is too damn short for stupid shit like this."

I don't even realize how quiet its become, or that I'm crying until both Tyson and Chase take steps towards me but I back away, lifting my hands, telling the wordlessly not to come near me.

" She's right," a voice breaks through the noise of my heart beating in my ears, and I find Nick coming towards me. He wraps an arm lightly over my shoulder, " Ty man, you're my best friend, but you need to grow up. Come on Brae."

I let Nick lead me away, and when we reach the bonfire and find it strangely unoccupied I drop onto a log, burying my face in my hands.

" Tyson told me all about it. About how strong you were, how brave you were, talking to the girl who died. I've been unfair to you Braelyn, judged you so easily, but I see it now. Just know if you ever need anything I've got your back," Nick says and I just nod my head letting him give me what little comfort he can give.

I wait, time ticking by slowly and its funny how the air seems to change when he's near. Coming to life almost, like electricity is suddenly pulsing through the thick humidity.

" I'm sorry," Tyson's voice breaks through the silence and I turn my head slowly, happy to see his wounds have been attended too.

" Why? Why did it start? What was the point? Did it make you feel any better?" I ask and he sighs heavily dropping down next to me.

" It started because I was pissed. I was pissed that Chase would ask you to come with him, that he would subject you to what happened," he says and I roll my eyes making a disgusted noise in my throat.

" This isn't the first time I've seen someone die," I murmur and he nods his head, " This is my job Tyson. I see the ugly things, as much, if not more, than the beautiful things. I'm not weak, or faint of heart. I can handle it."

" I know that, now, but I cant help but be worried about you. You've been different since the flood accident. You probably think I haven't noticed it, the fact that your barely eating, that you seem to be shrinking away," he says and I blush turning my head away from him, letting the silence settle and consume us.

If only he knew that my lack of eating and sudden weight loss has nothing to do with what's happened, or what I've seen, and everything to do with how desperately I want him to see me.