Tegan Chronicles STV Style 3:

What's Left of the Flag 21

"Hey Flash." B'Elanna walked up behind her in the mess hall. She was still wearing the sling but she'd managed to get rid of the swath that had bound her arm to her chest. "How are you feeling?"

"Great."

"I thought 'fine' was your blanket statement." B'Elanna didn't believe she felt fine, so great was out of the realm of possibility.

"I'm back at work." Tegan skirted around the topic as she leaned against her cane.

"Really?"

"Limited duty, half days in the bio lab, it sucks." After five days of pleading the doctor had finally relented. She growled as Neelix took her tray to an empty table. "I wish he would stop treating me like some kind of…"

"Hero?" B'Elanna filled in the blank. "You are. The captain put a letter of commendation in your file. You didn't have to volunteer."

"I was going to say cripple. And yes I did." Tegan turned her complete attention to B'Elanna after Neelix had gone back to the galley. "Neelix was about to step forward. He had pushed Naomi behind another crewman and he was going to open his big mouth. I couldn't let anything happen to him or Naomi's mom. It would crush her."

"So if he had stuck with me?"

"You're half Klingon, B'Elanna, you could have handled it."

She couldn't tell her that she couldn't even handle the memories of what she had seen him do to her. That every time she closed her eyes those images played in her mind and several times she found herself in the bathroom puking. "Yeah, I don't think so."

"It wasn't that bad." She lied and suddenly wished she had just returned to her quarters instead of going to the mess hall for lunch.

"How can you say that?" B'Elanna didn't even give her a chance to respond as her anger took over. "How can you even stand to be around Janeway after she let them go?"

I love her.

"She gave them better than they deserved after what they did." B'Elanna growled.

"They never deserved to be treated the way they were B'Elanna. You heard the stories the prisoners told." Tegan had heard many of them second hand, some even third hand through Kathryn. She pushed her tray back no longer interested in eating.

"It still doesn't give them the right to do that to you."

"You're right, it doesn't." She stood putting more weight on her recovering knee than she should and sucking in the exquisite pain that shot through it. Her eyes closed as they rolled back in her head. Delicious. She looked back at B'Elanna. "But Janeway gave her word and I would have done the same."

"You're crazy, both of you."

Janeway keyed her way into Tegan's quarters to find her sitting on the bed with the lights off. As soon as the doors closed behind her she was plunged into darkness. Instead of asking why she didn't answer the chime she asked; "What are you doing?"

"Sitting in the dark." The answer seemed obvious to her.

"I can see that."

"Can you? Because I can't see anything." Tegan sighed. "Computer lights to one quarter."

"Why are you sitting alone in the dark?"

"I'm not, not anymore."

"Why were you?" Kathryn hated playing the 'phrase the question correctly' game. She usually didn't have to play it when they weren't officially on duty.

"I don't know." She shrugged with her brow and mouth. "I guess it was easier to be alone with my thoughts in the dark."

"Are you in pain?"

Her eyes closed and she leaned her head back against the bulkhead. "A little."

"Only a little?"

"It's not bad." It isn't? She opened her eyes and looked at Kathryn.

"Am I intruding?"

Yes. There was a reason I didn't answer the door.

"You said you were sitting in the dark to be alone with your thoughts. Do you want to be alone?"

"I do." She blinked. "I did, but you're here now."

What's that supposed to mean? Kathryn shifted from foot to foot."Should I stay or should I go?"

"Isn't that a song? 'so come on and let me know, should I stay or should I go?'" She sang the lyric briefly. "Well it looks like I can still sing."

"Yes it does." She forced a small grin. "I'll go."

Tegan watched her turn to leave. "Please don't."

Kathryn turned to see her scooting over on the bed. "You're still in your uniform, can I help you change?"

"I've got a t shirt and shorts folded up in the floor of my closet." She watched her move to the closet. "It's not going to be easy."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You can't hurt me." Tegan grinned. "I'll walk you through it."

Kathryn nodded as she returned with the items of clothing.

"My pants will be the easiest and since you're here to help I think lying down will be the best way."

Kathryn helped her lay back and carefully pulled the polyester blend pants down her legs pausing to look at the still healing scars and her swollen knee. As she pulled the shorts up she stopped and ran her thumb over the larger of the scars where she had been stabbed.

"The doctor thinks he can get rid of the scarring later with the dermal regenerator, not that I mind a few battle scars. Most of my other scars were healed when I was put in a Goa'uld sarcophagus, otherwise you'd be pretty freaked out by the scars on my chest and back. What I've got now is nothing in comparison."

Kathryn took a deep breath. Her blue eyes searched Tegan's for a long minute. "I don't care what you look like."

"I know." A self-depreciating laugh rumbled across her vocal cords. "It's my inner beauty that you fell for."

Kathryn helped her sit up as Tegan rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying you aren't gorgeous, I wonder everyday how this old hag got someone as hot as you, but it's not the main reason I like you." Love her, why don't you just tell her that you love her?

Tegan slid to the edge of the bed with assistance from Kathryn. She offed a genuine smile. "You're far from being an old hag. And I'm not dating you just because you're the captain either."

"So you are dating me because of my rank?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow as she unzipped Tegan's uniform jacket.

"Not at all, in fact it's more like I am dating you regardless of you being the captain. Here comes the fun part." Tegan inhaled carefully and supported her arm with her biomechanical one. "If you can slip the sling over my head."

Kathryn carefully slipped the sling off. As she was helping Tegan out of her grey uniform shirt Tegan groaned and abruptly gasped. "Sorry."

"You didn't do anything." Tegan assured her.

Kathryn picked up the navy blue t-shirt with the US Air Force insignia on it. She looked at it for several seconds before helping Tegan put the garment on. It was easier than staring at the still raw scars adorning her chest.

"I know." Tegan sighed. "I need to let go of the past."

"I didn't say that." Kathryn pulled the hem of it down to her hips before Tegan slid back. "Don't you need to put the sling back on?"

"No not if I'm laying down." Tegan made room for Kathryn to join her before she continued. "I just, I miss it. You know?"

Kathryn nodded. In her own way she understood. "You lost more than anyone on this crew has. Most of us still have friends and family to return to. It can't be easy."

"I haven't really thought about it much. I mean, if I do it's just overwhelming." Tegan looked at the empty space on the bed. "Join me, please."

Kathryn gave her a crooked grin before cautiously lying down beside her.

"You really aren't going to hurt me."

"I don't believe you." She reached up and ran her fingers through Tegan's hair relishing the contact that they both so desperately needed.

Tegan wrapped mechanical fingers around Kathryn's wrist and brought her hand down to meet hers. She carefully intertwined their fingers. "I need to feel you."

Kathryn propped herself up on her other arm and leaned in lightly placing her lips against Tegan's who sucked her lower lip softly between her teeth. Kathryn parted her lips and slipped her tongue inside the velvety wetness tangling it with Tegan's she quietly moaned into the other woman's mouth as her lips curved upward. When she pulled back it was to see amusement dancing in the enchanting green pools of Tegan's eyes. "What?"

"Do that again." A contagious smile pulled at her lips.