8:01 a.m.

Daddy demanded that I attend school, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I'd skipped yesterday, and it was Tuesday, and Charlie didn't see it fit for me to start missing too much school, considering I'd played so much hooky with Edward.

I didn't brush my hair when I woke up, and I hadn't showered since the day before at Rosalie's. And even then, I barely made myself look decent enough to walk out of the house.

My shirt was too short . . . wasn't even a part of my uniform, and the sweater that I was wearing barely covered the fact that I neglected to put on a bra. My hair hung over my shoulders in kinky knots, and my legs were unshaved.

Leah drove me to school, not asking any questions, surely having been debriefed by my father.

In class, I was blank, and teachers were forced to address my strange actions.

Why was I here, at this stupid fucking school, while Edward was lying on his deathbed—

"She's that girl with that emo-loner kid. You know . . . the really cute one. He tried to kill himself last Christmas. So stupid."

My head shot to where some stupid bitch was standing, talking to another girl. I stomped over to them.

"I suggest you not talk about him like that if you don't want to die," I threatened slowly. The girls looked up to me, unfazed.

"Look here, crazy bitch," one of them said. "He got what he deserved."

I raised a clenched fist and was ready to strike when someone grabbed my hand and slid their arm around my waist and pulled me away.

"Hey girlie. Time for class." Lila said, and escorted me to my Statistics class, hand in hand. "You okay?"

I shook my head. Lila and Zac were pretty roughed up about Edward. But they took it better. They understood his condition, where I just didn't want to accept it, that I was walking around, conscious, while he was fighting to survive.

Lila talked to me about her baby. She was almost eighteen weeks along, and it was a girl she was going to have.

"I decided I wanted to keep her. Zac does too," she said. She was so happy. "My mom is going to help us . . . Zac's parent's kicked him out when he told them, so he's staying with me." She sighed. "Zac is so fucking mad right now though. It's everything he can do to not be mad at himself for getting me pregnant."

"He loves you, right?" I asked her, gazing deeply into her shocking blue eyes. She nodded.

"Yeah," she said. "He does."

"Then you've got nothing to worry about."

"Thanks," she said.

I nodded. "Do you know what you're going to name her?" I asked slowly, my voice soft.

"I'm thinking Hayley, or Amy, or Jasey."

"Those are nice," I said.

She beamed.

"You're going to be a great mom," I said. I meant that sincerely, and she could tell, even though my voice barely had any feeling, and I didn't even look up at her. "And Zac's going to be a great dad. I know it."

"Be her god-mother?" she blurted out. My eyes dashed up to see Lila's big smiling face. "And when Edward comes around, he can be her God-father . . . We've known Edward forever, and in the time we got to know you, we figured you're pretty awesome, and Bree's a bitch, so we figured you and Edward were better for the job than Bree and Cain."

I smiled lightly at her, fucking ecstatic that she's picked me.

"Sure," I said. "I would be so happy to be Hayley or Amy or Jasey's God-mother."

She laughed.

Lila sat next to me during class, and for the first few minutes, I did my work and everything I'd been assigned, but when I was completely unresponsive after a half hour of that, I was sent to the principal's office for being insubordinate.

My feet dragged against the linoleum as I slowly walked to Principal Turner's office. I sat down in a chair in front of his desk as I waited for him to get off of the phone.

I crossed my right leg over my left, imagining Edward's hand resting on my knee, slowly sliding up and down, consoling me. A chill ran up my spine.

"Isabella, we understand that you're going through—"

"You can't possibly know what I'm going through right now," I countered malicious and cruel. Mr. Turner looked at me, ready to take action.

"You're disrupting your classes and are becoming a problem. This is the third time a teacher has sent you to me. We get your situation—"

"NO!" I screamed, flipping over my chair. "YOU DON'T KNOW MY SITUATION OR ANYTHING I'M FUCKING GOING THROUGH!" I growled. I set my hands down on the desk, knocking things over. Mr. Turner's face hardened.

"Isabella calm—" he tried to warn, but I cut him off with a frustrated cry.

"CALM DOWN? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?"

So I was restrained and reprimanded very quickly, given an unofficial suspension from school. This school didn't handle insubordination so well. And I didn't like being treated like a five year old

I woke up at home, sweating in my bed, screaming and sobbing, Leah, Seth and Charlie rushing inside of my bedroom.

"Daddy!" I screamed. "Daddy!"

"Bella," he said. He sat on the bed next to me, and pulled me on his lap like I was a five year old girl, rather than seventeen. He soothed me by rubbing circles over my back, calming me down. I still sobbed and he held me. I've never been so comforted by my father. I felt so . . . overwhelmed by Edward's condition, but the fact that my Daddy was right here, here for me, I felt a ton better.

"Shh, it's okay, kid, I'm here," he whispered. I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up and Leah was laying on my bed, asleep, my head on her chest, my arms wrapped around her waist. She cared about me this much, to sacrifice her time to make sure I was okay. Seth was on my other side, lying so he was facing away from me.

I turned just a tiny bit and Leah stirred, her brown eyes finding my own.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I shrugged. I smiled softly. "Too many people in my bed," I whispered.

Leah laughed. She took me to her room, where she took out some extra blankets and pillows. We lay on her bed, holding hands.

"Any chance of getting plastered?" I asked.

She didn't say anything, but took out a bottle of rum and a single cup. She poured and handed to me, and between the both of us, we managed to empty a half full bottle.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to say. I'm just . . . hurting."

She hesitated before finding my eyes and looking in them. "Do you think he's going to make it?"

I nodded. "He's gotta. I mean, I didn't fight my way out of the center to be given up on. Edward is stronger than what we think." I smiled. "He's what I wake up to every morning and what I go to sleep to at night. He's my everything. And I'm scared if I lose him, then I'll be left with nothing."

Leah looked away, like she was ashamed of asking me that question. "I've always felt that way about Jacob. He's got nothing on you guys, but he's had a pretty rough childhood. His mom died when he was little, and his sisters hightailed their asses out of the country as soon as they could. Now they're married and Jacob never gets to see them. He's always here, but I think he looks for what he's lost in me, you know?"

I nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. My dad and my brother's weren't around, and when Edward showed the slightest hint of affection I took it, and didn't look back."

"But Edward's a good guy. He's nice to you and I can tell you mean the world to him. He fucking worships the ground you walk on. And that's a good thing." Leah passed me the cup and I sipped from it.

"I know that's good." I swiped a lock of hair away from my face. "But maybe I didn't deserve something that good, you know?"

"No way. You're the nicest girl I've ever met, and I can tell that you're not like that to be set aside like something that doesn't matter. You and Edward were put together for a reason. If you wanted to, you guys could save the world."

I laughed. "But we have to save ourselves first."

6:37 p.m.

Three days later, after school, Leah dropped me off at the hospital, where I did my homework with Edward and explained to him what we did in school that day. The doctor had told me some patients could hear what we were talking about, so I took a chance on everything I said, that he could hear it. And maybe wake up.

I was doing some Economics homework on the table, listening to music.

"Excuse me, are you Isabella Swan?"

I turned around to the voice that rang behind me. She was a tall woman, blonde with blue eyes exactly like Rosalie's and Alice's, dressed in a cream-colored dress, and tall black heels. Her hair drifted on her shoulders, not hanging loosely, but sitting there perfectly, like it had a mind of its own. I nodded to her. I could only guess that she was their mother.

"Yes, I am," I said softly.

She walked closer to me, but not so close as to break my personal space. She held out her hand however. I stood up and shook it, her grip firm, but soft. I found myself frightened by her.

"I'm Edward's mother," she said. "My name is Esme." Her voice was gentle, like stroking velvet. It reminded me of the way Edward talked, how even an insult could make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

Esme sat next to me, just looking at her son.

I'd heard so many terrible things about this woman, the things she said and did, how she broke her children down into hard, careful people. I resented her, and I wasn't sure what to say.

"Where were you?" I asked out of the blue. I was angry at her, because Edward had mostly bad things to say about his mother, and that she never got to take the chance to be so selfless and love him. So naturally, I took his side and defended him.

Because I loved him more than I feared her.

She said nothing, which ticked me off. I saw her gaze shift from my eyes to my hand. She noticed the ring Rosalie had given me.

"I didn't know you were engaged to him," she said flatly.

"We're not. But maybe if you were around you'd know a little more about his life," I said with a malicious bite. Of course she was surprised that I would say something like that to her, considering I barely knew her, but who the fuck was she to just walk in here and strike up a conversation with me? Like she wasn't the bitch I already knew her to be. She was good at pretending, because for just a second, it thought she was someone nice. . .

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but Edward couldn't be coddled at all times of the day. He needed a backbone—"

I cut her off, standing up from my chair. "What he needed was a mother. Someone to look after him, to correct his mistakes. He didn't need to be coddled; he needed to be cared for. You're one of them . One of the people who think we should blame ourselves for trying suicide. But no. It's people like you, who are away for so long, not caring, that drive us to madness."

"Ah. You're Renee Dwyer's daughter."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't have a mother," I responded, my voice monotonous. She stared at me.

"You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude of yours," she said. "So I suggest you shape up, or your children will hate you just as much as your mother hates you."

I stared into Esme's deep blue eyes. Edward resembled nothing of his mother. Nothing. And he should be glad. Her words stung me like a fiery burn. I knew my mother hated me, but did she have to throw it in my face like that?

"You're an asshole. You're nothing but a worthless waste of life," I sneered. I couldn't help but want to smack that stupid, conniving grin off her perfect fucking face.

It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. Her lips turned up with a malevolent smile. "Is that what your mother tells you?"

"I'm not going to hear this. Leave," I demanded. She laughed. And by laughed, I mean cackled. Like a witch.

"This is my son . You're nothing but a little floozy that has absolutely no right to be here. So get that part straight, little girl. I'm not here to listen to you whine." Her voice was venom stricken, and I could feel the burn of her words. I wasn't as strong to insults and I didn't take this lightly. She'd called me a whore and meant that I wasn't important in Edward's life.

"So what are you here to do?" I asked my hands on my hips.

"Assess his status and see if he's worth pulling the plug on."

"WHAT?" I shouted at him. She didn't even flinch.

"You didn't think we were going to leave him in the hospital for months and not at all decide if we were going to unhook him, did you?" she asked me. Her scowl was lethal.

"I can't believe you!"

I immediately called Alice and told her exactly what Esme had said about pulling the plug on Edward's sleeping body, who was dependant on the machines he was hooked up to. I demanded that she get here and she made me promise to watch Esme so she wouldn't do anything. And I did everything I could to make sure she didn't tamper with anything.

Alice was here faster than I'd imagined.

"Mom, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Alice said as she charged into the room.

"He's not going to live. Why give everyone that false hope of him staying alive only by being hooked up to life support?" Esme was actually serious about what she was talking about. Why wasn't this considered murder?

"You can't do anything. You don't have legal jurisdiction. You gave that away when I took Edward into my custody. You aren't his mother."

"So what are you?" Esme countered. "His new mother?"

"It doesn't matter. If you pull that plug, you'll be going to jail for murder, Mother," she said. Alice was disheveled and tired looking, her black hair without its normal shine, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She was wearing track pants and a t shirt, a rarity for Alice who dressed as glamorously as she could.

Esme stared at us, going back and forth between us. She knew when she was defeated and stood down.

"Fine. Keep him alive. There's not going to be much of him if his brain resembles scrambled eggs."

Alice stood there, daring her to say something else, just daring her to do something that would set her off. But she didn't. Esme just walked out of the room.

Alice sat down and took a break. She was starting to show from her pregnancy, and I could tell it was already starting to drain, her. That, and the fact that Edward was hanging by a thread.

I sighed, feeling safe that Alice had come to the rescue.

But how much rescuing could we actually do before he woke up?

"Alright, ladies," Dr. Carmichael said, coming inside of Edward's hospital room. She had a slight smile on her face, noticing we were distressed. "A few of the nurses are going to clean Edward up and change his chords, so if they could be alone for those moments, it would be greatly appreciated.

Alice and I nodded and we left, bumping into a blonde man that Alice seemed to know.

"Daddy?" she said, her voice confused and scared, hopeful even. I just stared at him blankly, watching him pull Alice lovingly into his arms, watching as she cried and he consoled her.

I longed for my own father at that moment, thankful that I had one.

"Daddy!" Alice cried. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Darling," he said, his voice carrying an English accent. He smiled at me.

"And who might you be, young lady," he said to me.

"Daddy," Alice smiled, "This is Bella, Edward's girlfriend."

"Ah! So you're what all this fuss is about," he said with a small chuckle. I smiled. "Well, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but you can call me Carlisle. It's a pleasure to meet you, dear."

I grinned. "Likewise."

I escaped without saying much else while Alice went over the specifics of Edward's case to her father who was a doctor.

In the cafeteria, I sat alone, sulking, until Rosalie walked up to me and sat down across from where I'd been sitting.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. I thought maybe we could have a girl's night in or something. Like a sleep over."

"I have school tomorrow," I said to her. And even though I wanted to go with her, get lost in her world, I knew I couldn't for the sole purpose of my father rejecting the idea the first chance he got.

"This weekend then?"

I nodded. "Sounds like fun."

XX

"Make yourself at home." Rosalie's voice was tired and I felt like I had to tread on safe waters around her, like I was walking on eggshells.

"Thanks," I said. I placed my bags down on the sofa and kicked off my shoes, sitting down she brought me a glass of coke and rum, and I realized that she didn't care that I was underage. Right then, I was her equal, and really, that was all I wanted to be.

After tossing back a few drinks, Rosalie and I walked around the house, her giving me a tour. She showed me all of the pictures she had of herself with her family, and I saw their stiffness through their smiles, how Carlisle could barely stand to hold his wife, how the children were itching to get away from being so close to one another.

And a few more drinks and it was like we were best friends.

We were dancing to loud music, singing to Alanis Morrisette and Lily Allen, singing "fuck you" and "isn't it ironic". All kinds of music played and we danced and sang at the top of our lungs, shouting at each other and jumping on and off the couches. We laughed and giggled, singing louder and louder, until we were lying on the floor, panting and trying to get our breath back.

"So how is it with Edward?" she asked casually. I shrugged.

"Well, I don't know," I answered, still trying to find my breath. "I guess sex is just sex, right? But with him . . . I don't know how to—"

Rosalie was laughing. "I didn't mean it that way," she said. "I meant your relationship in general."

I pondered her question for a second. How was it with Edward? I wasn't sure what to say, how to tell her that everything between us was perfect. It was just the outside world that was fucking everything up?

"It's good," I said finally. "Edward and I connect differently than most people. When we fuck, it's like we're . . . talking to each other. I love it."

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "I sort of expected you to be a virgin." Her eyes were surprised.

I laughed. "I was, before I met Edward. But I clicked so fast with him. It was like the six months we'd been in the center together was foreplay. And then it happened and I wasn't a virgin anymore. It was weird at first, but I mean, this was Edward—his experience was tethered to girls who weren't virgins, but somehow, we made it through unscathed."

Rosalie blinked. "You just gave it away?"

"Hardly! I loved him. I loved him from the moment we met. And when he told me that he loved me, Edward Cullen, who had love issues, I knew he was the one." I smiled, remembering that day, remembering his words, remembering his touch.

I looked at Rosalie, whose eyes were so curious to know. It was like her family had been so deprived of love it was such a foreign concept to them, like I had to show them just exactly what the hell it was.

"So . . . you just did it?"

I shook my head. "Edward and I didn't just do it," I said. "We loved each other. We still love each other. Edward was the first to tell me so. And I vowed to show him how much I loved him exactly, just exactly what he meant to me. Our love goes beyond verbal boundaries. It's physical too."

"But . . . you didn't do it at all because of the addiction he has?"

I smiled. "Addiction or not, I still wanted to fuck him. It just makes it better that I don't have to ask. He's ready to pounce at any moment."

"And it doesn't bother you?"

I sat up and eyed Rosalie, utterly confused. "Would it really bother you that a man thinks your body is so gorgeous, so tempting that he wants you at all times of the day?" I said to her.

She grinned. "No. I guess not."

We laughed together, the end of talking about sex. A few hours later, we were nursing more liquor, and Rosalie was braiding my hair.

We didn't say anything, and there was nothing to be said. Rosalie and I had become close in the few moments we shared and we were comfortable in our silence.

But still, I wondered about Rosalie, why she was so insistent on getting to know me. It was weird for me that she cared so much as though I'd known her for years rather than just a few days.

"What are you thinking about? You're so quiet," she said softly.

I shrugged my shoulders, not sure exactly what to say. "Edward."

She took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"Can you tell me what happened that night?" I asked her softly.

"I suggested that we go to the beach. We were high and drinking, but I knew I was okay to drive. I was fine. So we went out to the car, and we were listening to music. The light turned green and I drove, but some idiot ran the fucking red light and crashed right into the passenger side of the car.

"I remember thinking, 'Oh my God, he's dead', so many times that night. There was so much blood and the sounds . . . I can't sleep at night without thinking about them, thinking about how I hurt my little brother.

"He'd said he didn't want to go, but I made him. And look what I did."

I turned around to see tears falling down her cheeks. Her voice didn't even crack. They were just falling. I hugged her and she hugged me back.

"I can't drive anymore," she continued. "I'm so scared it's going to happen again, that I'm going to get hit by someone so senseless as to run a red light."

She was shaking in my arms and even though I was crying with her, I couldn't let her see that I was sad. Because she would only blame herself more and it wasn't her fucking fault.

it was the most time I'd spent away from Edward. It had been almost two days since I saw him, but being with Rosalie was keeping me sane. It wasn't like those fuck heads at school who pretended to know what the fuck was going on but really didn't.

Sunday night, my dad and I went for a drive. He stopped at the beach and together, we walked on the sand.

"Kid," he started his voice gruff. "Jasper told me he was taking Alice back to LA."

I looked up at him, surprised. "But Edward hasn't woken up yet," I said. I was confused. Why would Alice just leave like that? It made no sense how she could care so much for her little brother and decide to leave him so suddenly. I was deeply confused.

"I know, and Alice and Jasper know that too. They talked to me about letting you live with him. In that apartment."

I stopped walking, staring up at my father. The man that would go through all costs to protect me was letting me live alone with a boy.

"Are you serious?" I whispered.

"I can't stop the inevitable," he said. "And you're a mature person, Bella. I know you're responsible enough to take care of yourself and him."

I was happy, elated that every waking moment could be spent with Edward. No curfew or house rules. No other people in the house. We could do whatever we wanted, whenever we felt like it, because it was just us two.

"When are Alice and Jasper leaving?"

"Friday."

I looked out over the horizon. Sure, it was great that Edward and I were going to live together, but then here we were, Edward still in the hospital, and my heart filled with so much hope it was unhealthy.

"And you're okay with this? Dad?"

He nodded. "You're only going to be fifteen minutes away. And Edward's a good kid."

"You do realize that you're letting me live with my boyfriend . . . alone?" I said to him. He laughed.

"Are you trying to change my mind?" he asked grinning.

I shook my head. "I'm just so . . . confused on how you would let this happen. It's perfect."

"I figured since you're engaged . . . it really wouldn't matter."

I looked down at my hand where the diamond ring was still set on the fourth finger of my left hand. "We're not. It's just so I can see Edward in the ICU."

He grunted. "So you'll tell me when it happens for real?" He said.

I frowned and looked up at my father, my eyes watering slightly. "If it happens."