Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf.
Despite the ultimatum he gave Issac, he knew that Issac was going to tell someone, it was just a matter of when. Stiles had taken his spare keys he kept in his backpack and went to the jeep he hadn't driven in awhile. Technically he wasn't supposed to drive it until he got checked out by a shrink and told that he was okay to drive. That was why Scott had been driving them both to and from school. He unlocked his car, got in and put the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. He wasn't really sure exactly where it was that he was going. All he knew was that he wanted it all to go away. The pain, the fear, the memories, the nightmares, he had it all under control until Issac saw Stiles for who he really was. Now it all in overdrive.
He came to the road he usually went down when he was going home and went the other way. He kept making turns going the way he usually wouldn't, and found himself going deeper and deeper into the forest. He got so lost in thought that when he rounded a curve he nearly hit a black SUV, he barely pulled away in time. He pulled off to the side of road breathing hard, just thinking of how close it had been. A foot more to the right and he would have hit the other car. He leaped out of the car, he may hate himself, he may hate everything about himself, but he didn't want to take anyone else out with him. Why was he thinking about taking himself out? He hadn't really thought about it before but Issac question swirled in his brain.
"Do you want to die?" he didn't want to live like he was anymore if you could call his life living, which he wasn't sure it qualified as that. He was a shell of who he once was, he used to be so snarky, so stupidly brave and now...now he was a shell, a husk of body. The only thing that gave him any joy in his life anymore was running a knife through his skin. What kind of existence was that?
He shut the door of his jeep and just started walking. He didn't care where he went, or the fact that it was steadily getting darker and he was a lot weaker then he used to be. As he walked he just thought of how pathetic he was. Stiles had spent 4 months hoping to escape his hell, only once he was out he had hide within himself and had carved his pain into his skin. They knew now, or would soon. They were going to try to get him to talk and try to expose him. Try to get him to talk about his memories, and the shell that he had become. He bit his lip hard enough so that it started to bleed, but it only gave him a little bit of relief. Silent tears started to fall blinding him momentarily until Stiles wiped the tears away.
After he wiped them away he spotted in the distance a bridge. He walked up a somewhat steep hill in order to get onto the bridge, he peered over the edge. He had realized that he had been going into the forest, but he hadn't realized he had been up in altitude. The bridge was bridging the gap between two edges of two cliff and it was a good thousand foot drop down. He couldn't help but continue to look down. He climbed up on the guardrails a bit to get a better look and found that it was indeed a very long way down. He climbed back down to the ground. There was something familiar about this bridge he thought. Unfortunately his brain wouldn't supply him with the memories so he dismissed the thought.
He leaned against the guardrail and slumped down against it, he suddenly realizing how tired he was. He had steadily lost a lot of weight lately and he hadn't exact been super beefy to begin with. He looked at the sky which steadily losing it's light. He knew how it felt, his light had left him months ago and he couldn't seem to get it back. It didn't seem possible to get it back. What was the point of anything anymore? He couldn't think of one answer. He used to care so much about everything and everyone but it was like they had stripped him of everything that used to be him. They had killed him and yet still left him alive. It would have been much kinder of them to have done what his Dad had done to their brother and just shot him. Instead they had destroyed him, maimed him, and made him into this. This freak, this ugly disgusting monster who couldn't even seem to communicate or care for those that he would have given his life for months ago.
He snorted, there was no point to any of this. No reason to keep suffering, he had just done it because he hadn't seen any other way to go about it, but Issac... Issac had opened his eyes. He didn't have to go through it anymore. There was no point in living if you can't feel alive. He got up from his sitting position and climbed up a bit onto the guardrail again looking down. As a way to go it wasn't bad. A short feeling of flying and then a very sudden death. The bridge was thousands of feet up from the ground, so it wasn't very likely that he would reach the ground and just paralyze himself or something. He climbed up a little further until he was at the top, he reached out to and grabbed one of the support beams. He heard something from behind him come up the road and nearly lost his grip as he turned around, he swallowed hard.
Review please :)
Additional Disclaimer: This is no point in living if you can't feel alive is a lyric from The World is not Enough from Garbage which I don't own either.