Chapter 21: Tinseltown's Beauty and the Beast
November 5th, 2007
RAW was in my residing hometown of Los Angeles, California and I was teaming up with Nicole and Rochelle (Don't think this is an "Eddie's Angels" reunion) against Jillian Hall, Melina, and Beth Phoenix in a six-Diva tag team match with Kelly Kelly as the special guest referee.
Last week on RAW, I was in the Divas' Halloween Costume Battle Royal and surprisingly, Kelly Kelly won the match……by eliminating me! But at the end, she was almost destroyed by Beth Phoenix after Melina and Jillian Hall threw her back in the ring and before Nicole and Rochelle attacked them. And for Beth, Melina, and Jillian's troubles, when I attacked Beth before she destroyed Kelly, I lifted up Beth threw her onto Melina and Jillian. That's what Melina and Jillian get for siding with Beth and if they want to pick on another Diva, they might as well start with me.
At the arena, myself and the Chain Gang Diva Squad were looking for Brittany. The girls came to me when they said Brittany went off somewhere and didn't come back for a half hour. Now we were still looking for her.
"Where could Brittany be?" Kayla said.
"I don't know," Nicole said. "She couldn't have gone far."
"Hey, what's going on?" Jeff said coming forward. "Where's Brittany?"
"We're looking for her," Delancey said.
"Yeah, she had her cell phone because somebody called her," Rochelle said, "and now we don't know where she is."
"Well, I don't think she couldn't have gone far," Jeff said.
As the gang continued looking for Brittany, they finally found hiding behind a crate near the entrance to the arena.
" Brittany, here you are," Delancey said. "We've been looking everywhere for you."
Brittany had her head down and she was crying.
"Brit, baby, what's wrong?" Jeff said as he kneeled down next to Brittany.
"My mom passed away," Brittany said as she was crying.
"Oh, Brittany, baby, I'm sorry."
Then Jeff hugged Brittany as she continued crying.
"We are so sorry, Brit," Nicole said.
"How did this happen?" Kayla said.
"My sister Alexis called me," Brittany said as Jeff said, "and she told me mom fell off the ladder and all of a sudden, she had trouble breathing, and had a heart attack. It was too sudden."
"Oh, my God," Rochelle said. "I can't believe this."
"Brit, if there's anything we could do……" Delancey said.
"I don't know," Brittany said. "I don't know."
"Come on, Brittany," Jeff said.
Jeff helped Brittany up and they, along with the girls walked down the hallway.
Brittany has been telling me and the girls that her mom, Olivia, has been under a lot of pressure lately and I guess that's what led her to have a heart attack. Brittany's 18-year-old sister, Alexis will be graduating from high school next year and now she has to live with her grandparents. This is really a hard time for Brittany since she and the rest of the CGDS are gonna dance for the crowd in L.A., something they're gonna do on RAW until John comes back. Now that Extreme Expose is over and Brooke is gone from WWE, it's time for the Chain Gang Diva Squad to pick the spirit back up. I don't know if Brittany will pull through.
A little later, RAW was on and it was time for the six-Diva tag team match which was Delancey, Nicole, and Rochelle versus Melina, Jillian Hall, and Beth Phoenix with Kelly Kelly as the special guest referee. Kelly Kelly's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the special guest referee for this match, ECW Diva Kelly Kelly," Lillian Garcia announced.
Kelly was wearing a referee uniform which was the short sleeve top tied at the bottom, black shorts, and black boots. Kelly Kelly walked down the aisle slapping the hands of the fans and got into the ring. Kelly Kelly posed in the middle blowing a kiss to the fans and Beth's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain.
"The following six-Diva tag team match is scheduled for one fall," Lillian announced. "Introducing first from Buffalo, New York, Beth Phoenix."
Beth walked down the aisle, she climbed on the apron onto the turnbuckle, and flipped into the ring. Beth walked over to Kelly Kelly and stared at her and then Melina's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain Jillian following her.
"And her tag team partners, Jillian Hall and Melina," Lillian announced.
The two Divas walked down the aisle and Jillian and Melina got into the ring. Melina didn't bother to do her infamous ring entrance. Then Delancey's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain with the Chain Gang Diva Squad following her.
"And their opponents being accompanied by Kayla Thompson and Brittany Swanson, the team of Nicole Mitchell, Rochelle Kennedy and the WWE Women's Champion, Delancey Scott," Lillian announced.
Delancey was wearing a black open tank top with the red replica of her pentagon star tattoo, red bikini top, tan shorts, black net stockings with straps attached, black hand warmers, and her hair curled. Nicole was wearing a black low-cut tank top, red boyshorts, the Chain Gang wristbands, a long black trenchcoat, and a black hat covering her curly hair. Rochelle was wearing a red one strap tank top, black bustier, denim chaps, black boyshorts, and her hair curled. Kayla was wearing an ultra glistening purple halter top with plunging v-neckline with a gold ring and low backline, dark denim jeans, and her short hair flipped. Brittany was wearing a purple fishnet top, dark purple corset with black leather straps, denim miniskirt, black net stockings, black buckled boots, and her hair straight.
Delancey raised her Women's Title belt in the air as she and the Chain Gang Diva Squad walked down the aisle and Nicole went into the ring first and Rochelle went around the ring, got on the apron, and did a sexy pose. Then Delancey was on the apron and did her flip to get into the ring as all three Divas got on the turnbuckle and raised their arms in the air. They got back down and Nicole took off her hat letting down her hair and took off her trenchcoat and gave them to Kayla at ringside and Delancey, Rochelle, Melina, and Jillian got out of the ring as the referee called for the bell.
Nicole and Beth locked up in a collar-and-elbow before Beth secured a hammerlock on Nicole. Beth then sent Nicole crashing to the canvas on a back heel trip with a big handful of hair. Beth picked up Nicole and sent her to the corner, but Nicole caught Beth with a back elbow to the face out of the corner followed by a headscissors. Nicole then scored with a victory roll to garner a nearfall and then she hit a few punches before landing a Lou Thesz press and a series of right hands.
Nicole got Beth in a headlock before Melina came in and Nicole kicked her in the gut. Then Jillian followed and Nicole attacked her as Kelly Kelly tried to restrain Delancey and Rochelle sent Melina out of ring and then she helped Nicole with Jillian before Beth took care of Rochelle. Beth then found herself on the receiving end of a headscissors taken to the mat by Nicole with a side headlock.
Nicole made the tag to Delancey and Delancey scored with a kick to Beth that sent her tumbling into the ropes. Beth popped back up and went after Delancey in the ring with a spear from Delancey. Delancey landed some hard right hands and she repeatedly slammed Beth's head into the canvas leaving Jillian no option but to peel Delancey off of Beth.
Beth made the tag to Jillian as Delancey made the tag to Rochelle and the two squared off as Rochelle and Jillian locked up several times before Rochelle landed a knee to Jillian's gut and sending her onto Beth crashing her to the floor. Melina tried to intervene and Rochelle landed a clothesline. Nicole and Delancey jumped in the ring and they threw Melina out of the ring. Then Rochelle caught Jillian with a kick to the gut and Rochelle landed the Traffic Jam for the win!
"Here are your winners, Nicole Mitchell, Rochelle Kennedy, and the WWE Women's Champion Delancey Scott," Lillian announced.
Delancey, Kayla, Brittany, and Nicole got into the ring and celebrated with Rochelle. Then the girls' arms were raised along with Kelly Kelly while Melina and Beth looked on from the outside. Then Delancey, the CGDS, and Kelly Kelly left the ring as Melina and Beth got in the ring to check on Jillian and Delancey, the CGDS, and Kelly Kelly walked up the ramp before turning around and raised their arms in the air before going to the back.
"That was a good match, wasn't it?" Delancey said.
"Yeah, it was," Nicole said.
"Ooh, I'd love to hear what the Miz has to say when he sees this," Rochelle said.
"Please, the guy's a jerk," Brittany said. "If he's gonna make Kelly Kelly's life a living hell, he's making a big mistake."
"A real big mistake," Kayla said. "Who the hell does he think is?"
"Well, I wanna say thank you, Delancey, for helping me out with last week and tonight," Kelly said. "I don't know how long I can take this."
"Look, don't worry," Delancey said. "I got something to make you feel better. Boys?"
Then the Boyz in Motion came forward.
"Oh, hi, guys," Kelly said.
"Hey, Kelly," the boys said.
"Kelly, you need some special treatment," Delancey said. "So I got the boys to give you a nice massage, your nails, everything. You need some relaxation. And Kay, I want you to stand guard in case the other Divas and the Miz try to barge in."
"I'm on it," Kayla said.
"Okay, have fun."
"Thank you, Delancey," Kelly said.
Then Kelly, Kayla, and the boys walked away.
"Oh, yeah, Kelly's gonna have a ball," Rochelle said.
"I'll bet," Nicole said.
"Well, we better get ready for our performance," Brittany said.
"Well, you girls go ahead," Delancey said. "I got bigger fish to fry."
Then the girls went their separate ways.
Later, Santino's entrance theme played and he came out from the curtain with Maria following him. The two walked down the aisle arm-in-arm and got into the ring and Santino asked for a microphone.
"Tonight, I am going to put all of the rumors to rest," Santino said. "'Stone Cold' Steve Austin is not going to be here. You see, he's like your Kobe Bryant. He's bald, he's popular, and he does not want to be in Los Angeles. But it's not all bad. Tonight, we have an actual celebrity in the audience. Ladies and gentlemen, the director of 'The Condemned,' Scott Wiper. No, there's no need to applause. Trust me, I saw the movie. Scott Wiper, please stand up and take a bow if you will." Then Scott Wiper did that and sat down not appreciating Santino. "'The Condemned,' oops, not everything can be…...good. But let me ask you a question. When you were filming 'The Condemned' at some point, did you wish that the prop guns were real so you can blow your brains out? I'm sorry, that was the audience that wanted to blow their brains out. Well, the fact of the matter is that 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin is as phony as, well, people in Los Angeles. You see, tonight, there's not going to be a glass breaking, there's not gonna be a can of the ass whip being open, nobody's going to stomp a mud pie, J.R. is not going to reach the point of orgasm. This is Santino Marella time and those are the bottom lines because Santino Marella says..."
Then Delancey's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain with a microphone in her hand. She was wearing a black see-through top, fuchsia bustier, black shorts, black stockings, and black boots.
"Santino Marella," Delancey said, "it's about time somebody shut you up once and for all and that somebody is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Stone Cold Steve Austin."
Then Steve's entrance theme played and he comes out from the curtain with a DVD in his hand. He shakes Delancey's hand and the two walked down the aisle and Steve got into the ring while Delancey walked around the ring and stood next to Maria. Steve gets on the turnbuckles and raising his arms in the air and gets back down. He grabs a microphone and said,
"How you doing, kid? My name is 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin."
"I'm Santino Marella," Santino said shaking Steve's hand.
"Good to meet you. Kinda wanna start this segment off by talking about 'The Condemned,' but we're gonna get to 'The Condemned' here in a minute. I've noticed at some of the things you've been saying. You've been kinda been misquoting 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and that's something I don't like. For instance, what do you call it? The can of what?"
"Ass whip."
"It's not the can of ass whip, it's a can of whoop ass. Generally, the can of whoop ass was what I opened up on somebody when they piss me off. You said something about the mud?"
"Stomping a mid pie."
"It's not a…...Jesus Christ, it's a mud hole. You stomp a mud hole in somebody and then you walk it dry. Do you understand that?"
"I understand; I speak English…… and Italian obviously."
"And it's the bottom line, not the bottom lines."
"Sometimes I like to say more than one thing."
"But if you're going to quote 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, then you get it right. Do you understand me?"
"I understand you and I also appreciate the education."
"Very good. So let's talk about the Condemned because I've sitting around at the house for six weeks watching you your flap your gums running the movie down and I don't even think you watch the damn thing."
"Of course I watched it."
"Did you watch 'The Condemned?'"
"I watched 'The Condemned.'"
"How many times?"
"Once."
"Well, let's talk about. What did you actually think about it?"
"Well, you see, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, you are a redneck…..."
"And that's about enough of that. What did you think about the action scenes, the fighting, the choreography because it was pretty damn riveting if you ask me? Your thoughts on that?"
"Well, I had to get up and leave the room because honestly, I almost vomited. It is so violent, I can't believe you could do those things to people."
"Did you see all the behind the scenes featurettes, the making of 'The Condemned,' all the bonuses, the stuff that we threw at you? Did you watch all that stuff?"
"After the movie, I was so upset, I just turned off the TV. That's ninety minutes of my life I cannot get back."
"So, coming out here, I came out just to kind of clear this up. Now I gotta say, I appreciate the fact that you had an honest opinion of 'The Condemned;' but when you come out here for six weeks straight running your mouth, you try to make a name off 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and uh-uh! That's something you just don't do. So to make this the way it should be, why don't we drink a couple of beers, shake hands, I'm happy that you got your opinion, and I can ride off into the sunset. Are you up for drinking a beer with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin? Your thoughts on that?"
"Personally, I would like a glass of red wine because I tried your beer. It burns my throat. It is horrible. Wine is the drink of culture."
"I understand. Well then, since you don't wanna drink a beer with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, I thought the least I could do is come out here and extend that olive branch of friendship and give you a copy of 'The Condemned' so you can really watch it because I think it's the best damn action movie to come down the pike in ten years."
"These people don't know quality."
"So take this home as a gift from 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, I ain't through talking yet, put it in your little DVD player and actually watch the damn thing." Then Steve gives the DVD to Santino. "That's a present from me to you."
"'Stone Cold' Steve Austin. The Condemned. Ten people will fight, nine will die.' Blah-blah-blah. I'm sorry." Then Santino drops the DVD and steps on it before kicking it away. "I just can't put myself through that again, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin."
Then Steve nailed Santino with the Stone Cold Stunner and Santino is out cold. Then Steve picked up the microphone and said,
"I'm not a doctor, but the son-of-a-bitch looks thirsty to me. I'll be right back."
Then Steve picked up the DVD and puts it in Santino's mouth. Steve left the ring as Maria got in the ring and checked on Santino. Delancey, who was still outside, shakes her head laughing as she was trying to convince Maria and Steve's entrance theme plays again and he comes back into the arena driving to the ring in a beer truck. Steve gets out of the truck and pulls out a hose and he gets in the ring and shoots beer at Santino as Maria left the ring. Santino was moving all around and Steve punches Santino and Steve raises his arms in the air.
Maria gets in the ring to check on Santino as a person throws a couple of beers at Steve and he gave one to Delancey as she got in the ring. Steve had his usual beer celebration and Delancey was pouring beer all over herself and Steve sees Maria checking on Santino and he gets down from the turnbuckle. Delancey turns her head as Maria stands up and begs for mercy while she fixes her hair. Steve picks up the hose and asks Delancey if he should spray Maria. Delancey turned to Maria to convince her to leave Santino. She hesitates and Steve decides to clean her dress with some beer along with Santino
Steve told Delancey to stay in the ring and holds onto the hose and gets out of the ring onto the top of the truck and lightly sprays beer at Delancey giving her a sexy beer shower. Delancey seductively moves her body and then takes off her top. A person throws a couple more beers at Steve and he drinks them at the top of the truck. Steve comes down from the truck and Delancey leaves the ring as they walked towards Scott Wiper. Steve gives Scott a beer and Delancey hugs Scott and Steve and Delancey walks around the ring and up the aisle. Then the two turned around and raised each other's arm in the air.
Now Santino oughta think twice about who he shouldn't talk trash about because that big mouth of his just got him into big trouble. And Maria, I don't know how to convince her to leave Santino because like the Miz, he's a jerk. Well, it looks like I ended up having the last laugh and I wonder what Santino could do next now that he embarrassed himself and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin embarrassed Santino.
Later, Delancey was standing near the entrance to the arena all clean with her hair straight and a new outfit on, which was a red strapless top with ruching and sequined design down at the center front and black pants, as the Chain Gang Diva Squad came forward.
"Hey, girls," Delancey said.
"Hey," the girls said.
"You ready?"
"Yep," Nicole said.
"You okay, Brittany?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," Brittany said. "I'm hanging in there."
"Alright, have fun."
Then the Squad went the through the entrance to the arena.
Then the Nicole's entrance theme played and she came out from the curtain with Rochelle and Brittany following her. The girls were wearing "Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect" t-shirts custom made into short-sleeved women's tops tied at the bottom, denim shorts, black boots, and the Chain Gang wristbands. The girls walked down the aisle slapping the hands of the fans and got into the ring. The girls got on the turnbuckles and raised their arms in the air and got back down. Nicole asked for a microphone and said,
"I'm Nicole," Nicole said onto the microphone.
"I'm Rochelle," Rochelle said.
"And I'm Brittany," Brittany said.
"And together, we are……" Nicole said.
"The Chain Gang Diva Squad," Nicole, Rochelle, and Brittany said.
Nicole sat the microphone down and "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa started playing in the arena.
Ah, push it
Ah, push it
Ah, push it
Oooh, baby baby
Baby, baby
Oooh, baby, baby
B-baby, baby
Get up on this!
Salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect
Want you to push it back
Coolin' by day, then at night working up a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know
How to become number one in a hot body show
Now push it
Ah, push it
Push it good
Ah, push it
Push it real good
Ah, push it
Push it good
Ah, push it
P-push it real good
Oooh, baby baby
Baby, baby
Oooh, baby baby
B-baby, baby
P-push it real good
After the song ended, the pyro in the turnbuckles lighted up and the crowd cheered. The Chain Gang Diva Squad. Then they left the ring and walked up the aisle waving to the fans and went to the back.
As the Chain Gang Diva Squad came out of the entrance, they saw Delancey applauding and she hugged the girls as she was telling them that they did amazing.
Later after RAW was over, Delancey was at home looking through some photos on the floor and then she decided to call someone. She picked up her cell phone and dialed a number.
At John's house in Tampa, Florida, he heard his cell phone ring. He picked it up and saw that Delancey was calling him, and he answered the call.
"Hello?" John said.
"Hey, John," Delancey said.
"Hey, D, what's up?"
"Umm, nothing. I'm just calling see how you're doing."
"I'm doing okay. I'm still coming to St. Louis next week for the engagement dinner."
"That's good. Have you talked Nicole lately?"
"Yeah, she told me about Brittany's mother passing away."
"Yeah, but I'm glad that she didn't take it too hard knowing that she, Nicole, and Rochelle were dancing tonight. They did a great job."
"Yeah, they did. At least they're doing something without me around. I mean, I didn't want them feeling bad for several months."
"Well, I think that you should know that since Shawn Michaels is facing Randy for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series and that he superkicked Randy five times, if Shawn does that again, he will get disqualified and never get another opportunity at the WWE Championship; but Randy is disqualified at Survivor Series or appears to attempt to get disqualified, he will lose the WWE Championship."
"Now that's good news."
"Yeah, for Brittany that made her feel better a bit and at least Randy did something right for a change or maybe it's another one of his tricks."
"It could be."
"Well, I'm gonna let you go; so I'll see you next week."
"Okay, see you."
Then Delancey ended the call.
Delancey saw her cat, Shadow, walking towards her and Delancey picked her up and went upstairs.