We're wrapping up the vacation in Tunisia - I hope you enjoy :)

Thanks for all your lovely comments - they are much appreciated!

Chapter 21: Trust

Joseph stirred in his sleep and reached for Clarisse. Instead of a soft, warm body his hands felt the chill of abandoned sheets. Adrenalin surged through his veins awakening and alerting them to an inborn fear – the fear of not knowing where his Queen, his lover, his love was. Opening his eyes, blinking them several times to adjust to the dim light in the room he quickly surveyed the area. His heart slowed several beats as his pulse slowed. There, framed by the window and moonlight, stood the focus of his heart. The diaphanous gown gave her an ethereal glow as beams of light highlighted her body under the material.

Slipping quietly from the bed, he moved in behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist – face nuzzled in the soft curve of her neck. "Are you alright, my love?" He whispered.

Her body started and tensed slightly at his first touch, but melted into his embrace almost immediately. Trust. That was the only word that could describe what they had built together. Many people love without trust, but they had walked a rocky path together – earning the trust necessary for a relationship as complicated as theirs.

"This was a mistake,"

The softly spoken words sent a shiver through his spine. What could she possibly mean? Their relationship was a mistake? Her love for him? Trust, old man. Don't panic….not yet. He placed a kiss on the throbbing pulse point and then lifted his face away from one of his favorite spots on her body. He did not relinquish his hold on her though. "What was a mistake love?" Maybe she meant eating the seafood from dinner.

"Allowing myself to pretend…to experience what life could be like."

So it wasn't what she ate that was upsetting her. No, this was something far deeper, more troubling. He turned her and moved so they were facing each other, the moonlight highlighting the tears that dared run down the beautiful cheeks of his emotionally-controlled love. "You mean our vacation here?"

She nodded. "I…"

"Clarisse, whatever it is just tell me. No matter what, we will get through this and figure it out – just as we have everything and everyone else that has stood in our way."

A slow exhale as troubled blue eyes finally found his. "I don't know how I'll go back to the stifling restrictions placed on me, on every aspect of my life." She looked toward the bed they'd shared all week. "To sleeping alone again."

He pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "We're almost there, love. Amelia will be starting her final year of college in a few weeks. Nine short months later, she will be returning to Genovia to claim the throne. We've waited so long, nine very busy months will pass by in the blink of an eye."

She shook her head. "It's different this time, Joseph. Before there were only moments, a day at most, stolen away from duty and responsibility. This time over a week—long enough for my mind to believe that this is what I've always wanted. A life with someone who loves me for who I am and treats me as a woman, both in and out of the bedroom…in public and in private. I'm sorry Joseph. It was wrong of me to forget I wasn't free to love you openly and should never have allowed us a glimpse into what could be."

His hands cupped her cheek, thumbs brushing away the tears. "You listen and listen closely Clarisse Renaldi. No one is guaranteed anything in this life. Not next year, next month, tomorrow or our next breath. This means we have to seize every moment, every opportunity that life gives us. Will it be difficult to go back to those stolen moments? Of course it will. Will my heart ache not having you to hold next to me every night? Without a doubt. Do I regret having this time with you the past week? No way in hell. I'd rather live with the pain of having to wait than the pain of something happening to either of us and never having experienced what life together can be like."

"Oh Joseph…" Clarisse leaned in and kissed him with abandon. Hands and lips seeking to say what words seemed totally ineffective to convey when emotions demanded priority amongst the logic fighting for a foothold in their minds.

One hand slid higher while the other sought purchase on the curves of her bottom, holding her tight against him. Her body responded, melding against the strong planes of his chest and the growing hardness below the waistband of his silk bottoms. Breaking the kiss, but not his hold on her body, his voice was gruff, edged with desire. "Trust me, Clarisse. We'll figure this out. Until then…" his hips pressed forward, "Let's not waste the time we have left."

"Carpe diem," she smiled.

"That means take you to bed now right?" He slipped the sheer robe from her body, admiring the freckles under the sheer white material.

"Indeed."

No further words were needed as he led her to the massive four poster bed. Slipping the gown over her head, he drank in the sight of her body bathed in the soft light. She was right. He had no idea when they could share such a magical moment again and he wanted to memorize every detail. "So breathtakingly beautiful. Let me just look at you for a moment."

Blonde, sleep tousled hair softened the normally sleek and controlled look she wore each day. Crystal blue eyes watching him…watching her, sparkled with love before darkening with passion as his thumb slid across pale pink lips. She lifted her chin as his fingers slid across the column of her throat. He smiled as he felt her swallow under his touch. A quick detour to the sweet spot behind her ear rewarded him with a deep inhale and exhale of her breath guiding his vision lower to the freckled swells. "Lie down, my love. Let me worship the woman that fights so valiantly to live beneath the queen."

When her eyes found his this time, they were laden with desire and…need. Without breaking eye contact, her fingers slipped under the waistband and lowered the material past his hips and thighs until they fell to a silky pool at his feet. "Now you are ready."

The faint taste of her lotion swept across his tongue as he sampled inch by inch of her soft skin until the next goal came into focus. He loved her with every fiber of his being and would do his best to wait patiently for her until their paths could cross and they could walk out of the shadows together. "I want you to think of nothing and no one but me by the time I'm finished loving you tonight."

"It has only ever been your name on my lips, Joseph. No one else."

Sliding up her body, he kissed her – tongues tangling as their bodies joined in the ultimate expression of love. God, how he loved this woman. He could spend forever in her arms.

He wanted to go slow—make this moment last, but she smelled so good…felt so good. He was only human after all. "Clarisse…"

Her eyes opened and shared with him all he needed to know. No, this wasn't going to last long and she was as ready as he was.

Higher and higher they climbed until mutual moans were swallowed in the passion of their kiss. He fell, completely spent, onto the soft cushion of her body.

"I will find a way…moments to spirit you away…as I can't live with you, your love, and your touch."

"I trust you."

^^C/J^^

"Do we have to go home, Gramma?" Amelia asked at the breakfast table.

"I'm afraid so, dear. Genovia needs us." Clarisse forced a smile before sipping her tea. "Sebastian has done an admirable job handling matters of Parliament while we've been away, but…"

Mia sighed, "I know. It's our responsibility." She paused for a moment, taking another sip of her tea. "Maybe I can stay an extra week and help you get caught up. I feel bad heading back to America the day after we get back, leaving you to do all the work."

Clarisse smiled, "That's very sweet of you dear, but you and your team will need to leave in order to make sure everything is set for your final year of college. Charlotte and I will have to manage."

Mia settled further into the cushions of her chair. "I feel like I hardly saw you this time out and barely at all on vacation." She quickly turned to the Sheik, "Not that I don't appreciate all the cool stuff you arranged for Lilly and I to do."

Tamar nodded, "It was my pleasure, Princess. I apologize you didn't get to spend more time with your grandmother. Perhaps next time?"

Joseph squeezed Clarisse's hand under the table. "We aren't leaving until this evening. Why don't you spend the rest of the day with Clarisse?"

Vanessa joined in, "Shopping perhaps?"

"I'd really like that, Gramma. What do you say?"

Clarisse battled with herself. She knew she'd spent a great deal of time hidden away from the world with Joseph. She'd hoped to spend the afternoon in the rose garden behind their suite with him, a few final moments before duty claimed her once again. However, she did feel guilty about such little time spent with Amelia. Another squeeze of Joseph's hand reassured her. "Of course, dear."

Two hours later

Tired. Every muscle, every bone, every fiber of her being. After being awake most of the night with Joseph and then trudging around the shopping district in the capital of Tunisia, Clarisse was ready for a nap. In Joseph's arms…At the thought of her love, she missed him already. He and Scott had overseen the transportation of all the luggage to the airport and checked security for Genovia I and II and the airport. Tamar's men had provided security while they shopped.

Vanessa was still trying on dresses for an upcoming function so Clarisse and Amelia were sitting on the sofa in the dressing room waiting for her to finish. "Gramma, can I ask you something personal?"

The question sent a small buzz of alarm through Clarisse's systems battling the fatigue to ensure she kept her wits about her as she tried to answer. "As long as I can decline to answer." She smiled at the young woman.

Mia nodded, her face serious. "Don't get mad."

Clarisse kept her features calm. "Why would I get mad?"

"You'll see in a minute."

She sighed. Why was everything so challenging with her granddaughter? "Very well. Ask and I shall try to answer and not be mad."

"Who is Alexandra?"

At the mention of the woman's name, a wave of sadness crested over Clarisse's heart knowing the pain Joseph suffered at her loss. She shook her head slowly, "Though I question how you even know to ask about her, I cannot answer."

"Why not?

"It's not my story to share, Amelia. And to even know her name, you know that already."

Mia plunged ahead, curiosity outweighing possible repercussions to her line of questioning. "I know or believe she was someone Joe loved…a long time ago."

Clarisse could only think of one time she and Joseph had spoken about Alexandra outside their bedroom walls. "You eavesdropped, Amelia. Not only is that rude, but your curiosity about matters that don't concern you is ill-advised."

"Eavesdropping is the only way to learn anything around the palace. Either that or ask the maids. Maybe I should ask them."

The Queen glare rested fully on Mia. "You will do no such thing. You want to know the answer to your questions, you ask Joseph. If he chooses to tell you, that is his decision. He trusted me with her story and I will not betray that trust."

"Fine." Amelia settled into the cushions, a sullen look on her face. Clarisse closed her eyes against the onset of a full blown headache.

At that moment, Vanessa emerged from the dressing room. "I've made my selections. You ladies ready to go?" Noticing the icy distance between the two women, she continued. "Are you both alright?"

"Fine." They answered in unison.

2 hours later

"Joseph, I'm going to join Vanessa for our final tea together. Amelia is still sulking in her room. Perhaps you could talk to her?" Clarisse wanted to put this issue to rest before they boarded separate planes.

He kissed the back of her hand, "Of course, Your Majesty. I'm very good at babysitting."

She leaned in and whispered, "You are good at many things, my dear."

His hand cupped her cheek, "You inspire greatness."

Vanessa appeared from the sitting room, "Oh sorry to interrupt. Tea's ready, Clarisse."

Joseph knocked on the door of Mia's suite. "Princess, may I come in?"

"Sure, Joe."

The young woman was lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on the television but it was obvious she wasn't watching anything. "You want to tell me what's wrong."

"Gramma fussed at me…again."

"Your grandmother is usually a reasonable woman, especially when she's on vacation. You want to tell me about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll be mad at me, too."

He walked over to the couch, picking up her legs and sliding underneath them. "Haven't I always been on your side? Even willing to take the heat from Clarisse for you?"

"Yeah, which is why I feel bad. Sometimes I let my curiosity get the best of me, Joe. Usually it lands me in trouble."

Joseph smiled, "Sounds like your father. He was curious as well."

This perked her up a bit. "Really?"

Joseph nodded, "Really. Why do you think he went to America to study? He was curious about other countries and wanted to explore. His parents were less than pleased with his inquisitive nature."

"Yeah, but I bet he wasn't nosey."

Joseph squeezed her leg, "Where do you think the maids got their information?"

Mia laughed at the thought of her father spilling gossip to the maids. "He did not!"

"Well maybe not that far, but he always seemed to know what was going on in the palace."

Mia sat up and faced Joseph. "I overhead a conversation between you and Gramma. I'm sorry, Joe. It's the only way to really learn things at the palace. Gramma is a closed book. Which is why she's mad at me."

"What did you ask her?" His nerves twitched slightly wondering exactly what Mia had overhead.

"About Alexandra."

"What did she say?"

"She gave me the full glare and reminded me about the evil ways of eavesdropping and then said it was not her story to share and I knew that already."

"You and your grandmother are in a difficult situation, Princess."

"What do you mean?"

"In your position, knowing who you can trust is difficult. Not everyone is worthy and so Clarisse has learned that honoring and keeping a secret someone entrusts you with surpasses basically everything else because you want someone to be able to keep your secrets. And, you will have secrets someday, Princess. It's the nature of the job. You will lead two lives: a public one which will be how the people of Genovia will know you, including Parliament, and then a private one, that very few will be privy to – your inner circle. You must choose them wisely."

"So you're saying secrets are safe with Gramma."

"I trust her with my life as she trusts me with hers. She would never betray me as I would never her."

Mia chewed on her bottom lip and twirled her hair, "I'm sorry, Joe. I should never have asked."

He squeezed her leg again, "You should not have asked your Grandmother. But, you can ask me. I can trust you, can't I?"

Realizing the importance of the question, Mia sat up straighter. "You can, Joe. I promise."

He nodded, "Very well. Alexandra was a woman I loved a long time ago, my first love."

"What happened to her?"

"She became the victim of her father's business dealings. Certain men didn't like the way he did business and when a deal fell through, they decided to teach him a lesson. The price for his failure was his daughter's life."

Mia's hand covered his, "I'm so sorry, Joe. That must have been hard on you."

"One of the most difficult moments in my life."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Mia asked, "Did you ever love anyone else?" She knew it was dangerous territory, but her curious nature wouldn't let the question lay dormant.

Joseph smiled and patted her leg this time, "I think one secret is enough for today." He winked and then stood. "Wheels up in ninety minutes, I suggest you start on your good byes."

"You love Gramma. But, don't worry, Joe. Your secret is safe with me." Mia stood, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Word of warning…"

Mia raised her hands in a defensive gesture, "I know. I know. Not a word to Gramma." She smiled her cheekiest of grins, "Though I'm pretty sure she knows and loves you too."

"You are your father's daughter."

"Thanks for not being mad, Joe."

"No more eavesdropping, though, Princess. One day you may hear something that you're better off not knowing. There are reasons people keep things secret and hidden away."

"Is that why no one talks about Grampa?"

Joseph's fists clenched at the mention of the man responsible for most of the trauma in Clarisse's life. "What do you mean?" Maybe he could avoid this topic with her entirely.

"At the palace. I hear stories about Uncle Pierre and my dad, even my great grandparents on occasion, but no one ever speaks about him other to say they hope he rests in peace. Was he not at peace in life?"

"You are very inquisitive today, aren't you?"

"I've had a lot of time to think."

"Princess, do you trust me?"

"Of course, Joe."

He cupped her face with his hands to make sure he had her full attention. "Then you must trust me when I say that the King the people of Genovia knew and loved and the man that those of us in the palace knew were two very different people. Public versus private, remember?"

"Was he all bad?"

Joseph remembered Clarisse telling him that toward the end he'd changed and they'd even grown fond of each other. "Not all bad."

"Should I ask Gramma?"

Joseph shook his head, "No, Princess. You shouldn't."

2 hours later

"I'm going to miss you holding me while I sleep." Clarisse murmured against Joseph's chest as they settled in on the love seat in her office on Genovia I.

"And I, you." He kissed the top of her head. "Try to get some rest. We didn't get much sleep last night."

She looked up and kissed him on the lips, "It was worth it."

"Indeed."

Snuggling in again, she commented. "Amelia didn't seem upset on the ride over to the airport, but she was lost in thought."

Joseph's eyes closed. How long would their past continue to haunt them? "She and I cleared up her questions, but she is as bad as Philippe, if not worse."

Blue eyes found his. "What else did she ask?"

"She is curious about her grandfather. She wonders why he is rarely spoken of or about in the palace except at official functions."

"What did you tell her?"

"Just that she would understand soon about the public versus private life that all royalty must lead and that sometimes those were very different. I also suggested, in the best way I could think of, that she let the matter drop."

"She's not going to, is she?"

He pulled her tighter. "Sooner or later you'll have to tell her something."

She sighed, "Yes, I suppose I will."

"Before she arrives in Genovia to assume the throne. She needs time to process and then store the secret away. You don't have to tell her everything, just enough to appease her curiosity."

"Is that what you did about Alexandra?"

"Yes."

"And that worked?"

"So far, so good." He didn't elaborate on the Princess' views on who he loved now. "Rest now, my love. There will be much work to be done when we arrive home."

"Will you stop in after your rounds to say goodnight?"

"Trust me, I wouldn't miss it."