Disclaimer: Today's disclaimer was supposed to be brought to you by either Shadowgouf or RainDrops. But they refused to work together and are currently arm wrestling for the honor. But it's late so I'm gonna go ahead and do it myself. I own nothing except my OC and my vivid imagination.

Tara turns to Shadowgouf and RainDrops in background. "How's it going kiddo?"

Shadowgouf: DON'T CALL ME KIDDO!

A moment of distraction followed by abject defeat at the hands of a girl.

RainDrops does victory jig: I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!!

Tara: Well I'm done with the disclaimer..... you can have a.... margarita instead.

RainDrops: SWEET!

Tara turns to Shadowgouf: You ok back there kiddo?

Shadowgouf: DON'T CALL ME KIDDO!!!

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Right.... so, Chapter 20. Enjoy!

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Chapter 20: Agitation

"So," I said, settling down beside Haya at the 11th Division bar. It was still a little early and we had a little time before the rest of the gang joined us. "How did it go?"

She looked up wearily at me. "I was meeting Ichigo's family… I'll give you three chances to guess."

"Oh it couldn't have been that bad!" I said, as I waved to a waiter. "Tell me." I said once I'd placed our usual order of sake.

"Well… Isshin came flying through the door as soon as we knocked. Isn't he like 60 or something?" She asked looking incredulous. "But anyway, that was the least of our worries. Yuzu came to a complete halt as soon as she saw me and she didn't look altogether happy."

"Oh my…" I muttered, as I began to see why Haya looked so worn out. "And then what?"

"And then when Ichigo yelled for Karin, Hitsugaya Toshiro informed us that Karin wasn't feeling well."

"WHAT?" I shrieked. "My Taicho? My Toshiro?"

"Yes your Toshiro. They're getting married as soon as Karin kicks the bucket and comes up here."

"WHAT?" I shrieked once more.

Haya nodded. "Oh yeah. Clearly you and your Toshiro have things to talk about."

"I knew it was a girl… but Toshiro and a girl…. Toshiro and Karin?" I mumbled in shock.

"Yes, very cute story and all, but it doesn't end there. Ran pay attention!" She said grabbing my shoulder, "Pay attention, there's more."

"More?" I asked fearfully.

"Yes. Isshin named our children after dinner. We're apparently having two girls and a boy." She said, her voice trailing off, her eyes wide and fearful. What had Isshin done!

"And?"

"And then Ichigo beat the crap out of him. Karin got really sick afterward and Toshiro started fussing and then Ichigo lost it, and Yuzu was flustered, and Isshin couldn't do anything to help Karin 'cause she is really, really sick! But that's not it…"

"What is?" I asked slowly, temporarily forgetting about Toshiro and Karin. Haya was beginning to look more and more distraught and agitated. "Haya, what happened? Tell me?"

"I met Uryuu and Inoue." She said softly, eyes pinned on the cup of sake before her. "She screamed when she saw me Ran. She screamed and covered her son's eyes to keep him from looking at me."

"She did what?" I exclaimed, aghast at her words. "Orihime?"

"Yes, Orihime!" Hissed Haya angrily, as she turned to face me. "It's all so fucking unbelievable isn't it? Sweet, kind Orihime. The Orihime who can do no wrong, asked if she could try to heal me of my deformity! How do you like that?" She cried, her hands bunching into fists until her knuckles went completely white.

"Haya…" I said softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Ichigo thinks she's pregnant or on some funky medication." She said, spitting out the angry words. "He can't wrap his head around the fact that she just doesn't like me. That she was being mean because she could!" She turned to glare at me, her voice rising with every word, until she was almost screaming. She stopped suddenly; the loudness of her own voice seemed to startle her. "Are you going to tell me the same thing? That it doesn't sound like her. That there is some explanation for all of it?"

I hesitated. What could I say? It really didn't sound like the Orihime I knew!

Haya shook her head sadly and stood up. "Haya, no wait! Talk to me!" I exclaimed, trying to think of something to say.

"There's nothing to talk about Ran." She said turning her midnight eyes towards me, eyes that I had seen displaying everything from anger to a coldness that rivaled Kuchiki. But that day her eyes held the depths of despair. "Nothing."

And she left.

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I was flustered, shaky, anxious, tortured and couldn't sit still.

And so after I walked away from Rangiku and her lame excuses, I went for a run. So much nervous energy, so many thoughts running through my tiny head… so little time. So little time!

"So little time for what Haya?" Asked Inadzuma, startling me in the process. "What has you so agitated?"

"You know what has me agitated!" I sputtered angrily. I was angry. Did I mention angry earlier? Maybe I didn't. Well, if I didn't I'm mentioning it now. I was angry. Furious, enraged, seeing red, ANGRY!

"Calm down Haya." Inadzuma said soothingly. "Stop for a moment, sit down. We need to talk."

"Can't right now Inadzuma. Kinda busy here."

"Haya…"

"Not NOW!" I snapped. He left without another word. Wish he had stayed….

I ran, I swam, and then I ran some more. I fell onto my knees in exhausion but nothing would help. The anxiety stayed. The cold knot of fear grew into an all-encompassing terror.

"Will you listen to me now?" Asked Inadzuma again and I hung my head in defeat.

"Yes…"

"You have nothing to fear."

"I don't?"

"You don't." He said nodding slowly. "It matters not how big the torch she carries for him is… he, for whatever reason, loves you."

"Why thank you, that is SO reassuring!" I snapped angrily. "Can't you can the sarcasm for once?"

"You and I are one Haya." He said with a small smile. "Can you can the sarcasm?"

I snarled at him angrily, because there was nothing I could say. He was right. As usual, the smug bastard. I hated him so much in that moment, I wanted to rip that smug smile…

"Inadzuma…" I murmured, as I struggled to control the mounting rage. And just like that, the realization that I couldn't control it, turned it all into a terror; a nameless dread, an unknown emotion and I was its victim. "What's happening to me Inadzuma?"

"Jealousy?" He asked looking confused. "Envy?"

But that wasn't it and the uncertain look on his face told me that he didn't really believe it either. I shook my head, urging him to continue.

"Hurt by her cruel words?"

Ppft! "Is that the best you can come up with?" I asked, breathing deeply. I had to stay calm at all costs. Whatever I did, I had to stay calm.

"Go home Haya." He said softly.

I nodded in agreement, still breathless, still scared…. But home sounded good. Familiar surroundings and familiar people. Ikkaku….

"Hai." I said as I picked myself off the ground and headed back to the 11th.

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Something was bothering her. Something big. Haya usually had everything contained, all neat and tidy and never ever visible. But that evening, it was all very obvious in the defeated slump of her shoulders, the tired dragging of her feet and the lost, faraway look in her eyes. So very obvious, that I didn't need Yumichika to point it out to me.

And it wasn't just bothering her… it was sucking her dry. And it had all started after the trip to the living world.

I waved and she turned her feet in my direction. Literally. She stopped, she turned and then proceeded to walk towards me.

"Hey." I said as she sat down beside me.

"Hey." Came the tired, dejected response.

I waited for her to begin. It was clear she needed to talk, but she was struggling. She didn't seem to know where to begin.

"I thought you said they liked you." I prompted.

"They did… the Kurosakis did anyway." She replied, her voice a mere whisper.

"But?"

"The Ishidas… not so much." She said, with a slow shake of her head. "I'm being silly… it's nothing really. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm probably just tired."

The excuses seemed more for her own benefit than mine. What the fuck had Uryuu and Orihime done that had rattled her this bad? "What happened?" I asked.

"It's nothing Aniki." She said with a forced smile. "Nothing really… I'm just… being silly."

Aniki. She had called me Aniki. "Haya," I said firmly. "Tell me what happened."

The sternness in my voice startled her and she turned to look at me, her eyes surprised and wide with fear. "Nothing! Nothing happened!"

She was so… jumpy. Haya responded to almost everything with anger, serious threats were answered with rage laced with anticipation of a fight, but this…. This was fear. But of what?

I reached out and grabbed her arm. "Haya…" I said, intending to insist that she tell me the truth. But I was interrupted.

"Oi Haya! There you are!" Called Ichigo as he approached us. Initially, I was annoyed with his timing, but perhaps it was a good thing. Maybe she would tell him about whatever it was that was bothering her. The Ishidas were his friends after all. He was the one she should be talking to.

"Ichigo." Haya murmured, with a small smile. She seemed relieved to see him. That's a good thing isn't it? They would sort it all out… right?

"Where have you been?" He asked as he sat down beside her. "I've been looking for you all over Sereitei."

"I went for a run." She said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"You should have told me." He said, looking confused. He glanced across at me and I shrugged. What could I possibly tell him that he didn't already know? "Wanna get something to eat?" He asked her.

She shook her head. "No… I'm not hungry."

"What? Even after a workout?" He asked in surprise. He glanced at me again and I shrugged again. "Wanna just get out of here then?" He suggested softly. Smart guy. Go talk to her.

She nodded.

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I held her tight against my side and shunpoed in the direction of my home. Haya leaned into my shoulder, her face buried in my shihakusho. She looked awful, and she never looked awful. She hadn't had a decent night's sleep every since we got back from the living world, which was almost a week ago.

"What's wrong Haya?" I asked for the thousandth time. "Why won't you tell me what's worrying you?"

Her hands tightened in my shihakusho, but she didn't say a word. I sighed, defeated by her silence. I assumed she wanted to save it for when we got home, and for while we weren't flying through the air. But as we neared the 5th Division officer's housing, her hold on me tightened, along with every muscle in her body. And when we did arrive at our destination, I had to all but pry her hands off my shihakusho.

"Haya, look at me please." I said, trying to peer into her face, but she stayed with her head against my shoulder and I didn't have the heart to move her away from me. I pulled her closer. "Please tell me what's wrong." I pleaded.

"I don't know what's wrong." She murmured, her voice a shaky whisper. "I really don't know what's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm…" She slowly looked up at me. "… pissed off with Orihime and I don't buy your excuses for her behavior." I started to object, but she held a finger against my lips before I could speak. "But none of that explains this… uncontrollable rage."

I cupped her cheek with one hand, to reassure her and to make sure that she couldn't turn away from me again. I needed to be looking at her, I needed to see her eyes. "I'm… scared Ichigo. I don't know what's going on." She murmured, her midnight eyes widening with her fear.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.

"I figured I was just upset about the whole… mess." She said, looking confused. "But this is… more than that. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't get this… emotional about anything!"

I nodded slowly. "I know." I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her slender frame. Maybe it had all been a little too much. Maybe meeting my train wreck of a family and eccentric Orihime had been a little too much for my Haya. On a good day, it would have been a little overwhelming, but throw in Toshiro's surprise and Karin's illness…. Perhaps I had asked too much of her. My preoccupation with my sister's inpending death/wedding wasn't helping the situation either….

I gently pulled the chopsticks out of her hair, and watched as her hair unraveled. She complained softly against my shoulder, but quietened as soon as I sank my fingers into the inky blackness of her tresses, gently massaging her head. She snuggled into my chest, hands tightening around my waist, but I could feel the tenseness in her muscles slowly easing away.

I kissed the top of her head and she moaned softly, so I moved a little further down. Brow, eyes, cheek, nose, chin… I saved her enticing lips for last. I took it slow, easy, almost lazy, taking my time with every stroke and caress. I wanted to savor it all, I wanted to savor her.

"I love you…" I murmured, when we finally broke apart.

She smiled languorously. "I love you too." Her eyes were tired, but still beautiful. She looked exhausted but the sight of her still took my breath away. Our first encounter at Renji's indoor training hall had been over a year ago, but nothing had changed since then. If anything I loved her more now than I did then. We were good together… we were perfect.

"Move in with me." I murmured, as I kissed her gently.

I felt her lips pull into a smile, brushing against mine slowly in the process. "What's in it for me?" She asked seriously.

"Bigger closet space." I retorted.

"And?"

"Less travelling between here and the 11th." Talk about quick thinking!

"And?"

"Me beside you every morning." This would be the clincher!

"And?" She asked, her voice betraying nothing.

"Isn't that enough?" I asked exasperated by her endless demands.

"No…" she said with a soft soft sigh. "But it will have to do I suppose."

"Uh… right."

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"Another toast to our Haya!" Exclaimed Shunsui, as he raised his cup of sake. "I wish you happiness Haya! And may you share everything with Ichigo, including the housework!"

Cheers and cackles went up from the crowd, while Haya glared at Shunsui. "We're not getting married Shunsui! I just moved in." She exclaimed.

"Well you're almost there." He said winking conspiratorially. "You just have to wear him down a bit! If you need advice ask my Nanao-chan. She'll tell you all about how she wore me down."

"If I remember right, it was you that wore Nanao down Shun." She said sweetly, after Nanao had whacked him with her fan.

Ukitake chuckled softly beside his pouting friend, and extended a hand out to her. "I think I'll settle for saying I'm happy for you both."

"Thank you Juu-san." She said, looking around at the large group of people that had congregated at the bar. "Ichigo said he would invite a few people out here for drinks. I didn't know he was inviting all of Sereitei."

"News travels fast in Sereitei!" I said. "Especially when it involves free sake."

"And you wouldn't know anything about how that happened, would you Ran?" She asked, scowling at me. I shrugged, grinning gleefully. "Not a clue Haya!"

She looked ready to argue, but was dragged off by Ichigo. Everybody wanted to talk, toast, and wish the happy couple everlasting happiness. Everybody also wanted to make sure that Ichigo really was going to foot the bill. I hung back, knowing that I wouldn't get a chance to talk to Haya before the evening was done. And we did need to talk. Our last conversation had not ended well.

Time was moving in fast forward mode, or it seemed to me! First Haya comes back from the living world in a wild panic, along the way she lets me know (very undelicately) that my little Toshiro and Karin are getting married, and then she begins to rant about Orihime, and THEN she just turns up the next morning and tells me she's moving in with the Strawberry! What in Kami's name was going on!

"So she's really doing it? She's going to live with that fruit?" Rumbled Zaraki from beside me.

"Looks like it." I sighed. He grunted. "You ok with that? Her going away to live at the 5th?"

He shrugged. "It's her decision."

"How's Ikkaku taking it?" I asked, reaching for my sake cup.

"How do you think?" He chuckled and nodded in the direction of Yumichika and Ikkaku.

"My baby sister's all growed up!" Wailed Ikkaku between chugs straight from the flask of sake. "My little… little imouto!"

"Ikka cut it out." Haya growled as she approached the two 11th divison members. "Yumichika do something! He's embarrassing me!"

Yumichika shrugged. "What do you want me to do? He's upset that you're 'all growed up'!" He said with a small smile.

Haya snarled at Yumichika and leaned over to whisper to Ikkaku. Whatever she said, made him go as pale as a sheet and to drive her point in, she zapped him on the head.

"And that's just a warning… Pachinko." She muttered as Ikkaku held onto his head and wailed his sorrow a little louder.

Zaraki guffawed beside me and I shook my head reproachfully as she approached us. "Really Haya, you should be a little nicer to your Aniki."

"He's a moron." She muttered. "He won't remember any of it tomorrow anyway."

"I guess you're right." I said with a shrug. "So…" I drawled uncertainly, and she looked up sharply at the awkward tone of my voice. "I don't know if I said this earlier or not, and if I did I suppose it wouldn't be too terrible to say it again…"

"Ran…" She said softly, her 'no nonsense' tone forcing me to bring my perambulation to a halt.

"Congrats." I said with a small smile.

"Thanks." She replied, her eyes watching me carefully.

"I'm happy if you're happy Haya." I said softly, as I held her questioning gaze.

"I am happy." She replied a little coldly, her eyes narrowing just a tad.

"And that's good."

"Yes, good." She agreed, her voice a cold monotone. "But?"

"But?" I repeated, feigning surprise.

"I know there's a 'but' Ran, please don't treat me like an idiot." Her eyes never left mine; her cold, cold gaze bore into my head, into my thoughts and I sighed in defeat. There was no easy way to say any of this.

"I just don't want you to rush into anything…"

"And what makes you think I'm rushing Ran?" She asked, interrupting me well before I would have preferred.

"Because less than 24 hours ago, we were sitting not too far from here discussing your rather disturbing visit to the living world…"

"Disturbing?" She exclaimed. "Was the visit disturbing, or do you think I'm the one that's 'disturbed'?"

"Haya, I …"

"Yes what?" She asked angrily, again interrupting me mid-sentence. I held her smouldering gaze for a moment. "I believe you. I believed you yesterday, I believe you today." I said quietly.

She continued to look at me; her anger slowly seeped away to finally leave behind the distilled dregs of her uncertainity. "And?" She asked slowly.

"And I'm just wondering if this big… 'move' is an attempt to temporarily bury your misgivings under all of this… joy."

"You make 'joy' sound like a disease." She said softly, her eyes strayed to Zaraki for a moment. "Everyone here is happy for me. Why is it so hard for you Ran?"

"As I said Haya, if you're happy I'm happy. But yesterday you were a rattled mess, and today you're… it's like it never happened Haya, but it did." She looked away, her eyes seeking out Ichigo in the crowd. I touched her shoulder and she glanced at me from the corner of her eye. "I just… worry about you sometimes."

"I know." She said softly, turning to face Zaraki and me once more. "But I'm alright." She looked up at Zaraki. "We're alright. We'll work it out."

She smiled uncertainly at me, as I pulled her into a hug. "I'm on your side Haya."

"I know." She whispered in my ear.

"Remember that…"

"I will." She murmured, before leaving to look for Ichigo.

"You really don't like this. Why?" Rumbled Zaraki from beside me.

"Because this move in thing is Ichigo's way of 'fixing' the situation. But it isn't going to work." I said with a soft sigh. "Why are you men such idiots?"

Zaraki's eyes narrowed as he waited for me to continue. "He wasn't the one who fucked up, Orihime did. And pretending that she didn't isn't helping Haya. Besides… this whole thing feels a little rushed. Don't you think so?"

Zaraki shrugged. "What do I know… I'm just another idiot." He grumbled.

I sighed. Had I really expected any help?

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A month into our new living arrangements and she still wasn't sleeping well. She tossed and turned into the wee hours of the morning, leaving both of us exhausted, restless and cranky. The newbies at the 11th faced the bulk of her wrath and Momo unfortunately, was the one to face mine. The situation was intractable to begin with, and the fact that I had no idea how to help her only made things worse. And then one night she decided she wanted to sleep on the living room couch.

"I'll take the couch." She said, glancing at me across the dinner table.

"Why?"

""Cause you need the sleep." She said softly, judiciously studying a knarl in the wooden surface of the table.

"Alright we'll try the couch." I said. "It's smaller than the bed and I don't see how it will help, but if it's what you want, it's what we'll try."

"Ichigo that's not what I meant." She murmured, her eyes cold and distant.

"I don't care what you meant." I growled angrily. "If you stay out here then so do I."

"Ichigo…"

"Haya don't even say it!" I snapped, my angry finding it's way to the surface rather easily. "Today it's the couch, tomorrow you'll want to move back to the 11th. I'm not going to stand by idly while you slowly decide to leave me!"

"Ichigo, I'm not leaving you!" She exclaimed. "I just don't see why you shouldn't sleep because I can't!"

"And what makes you think I could sleep knowing you're out here?" Alone, cold, dreaming nightmares that you can't remember once you wake up. But I didn't say any of that out loud. I didn't need to. I reached for her hand. "It's not your tossing and turning that keeps me awake Haya."

Her hand was limp in mine and she continued to study the table. I stepped around to her chair, keeping a firm grasp on her hand. I kneeled beside her so I could look at her, and she slowly turned to face me. Dark tired circles rimmed red blood shot eyes, and her beautiful breath-taking lips sagged into an unhappy frown. "Haya… I…" I started, my voice trailing out into silence as I ran out of words to explain.

She nodded slowly, her hand slowly tightening on mine. "Arigato." She murmured.

"Haya please… don't thank me." I murmured, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "That's just plain insulting."

"Sorry."

I shook my head. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Words of gratitude and apology… it wasn't supposed to be like this. I asked her to move in because I thought it would make things better but, I was left with the unhappy realization that maybe I had made things worse. I picked her up gently and moved towards the bedroom.

But I wasn't about to give up. I would never give up on us… or my Haya. Whatever this was, we would get past it. And then we'd pick up where we left off and be ecstatically happy as planned.

She curled into my side as soon as I lay down beside her, her nose tucked tight into my shoulder, her fingers tightening on my bicep. I kissed her hair softly, willing her to relax, willing her to fall asleep.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be happy. Our life together ought to have been amazing. She wasn't supposed to be lying next to me, tense and frightened. She should have been happy, secure and sound asleep… but she wasn't.

She shouldn't have woken up screaming in terror in the middle of the night… but she did.

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Much angst and terror and .... stuff to come. :D

So who else is a little annoyed with Ichigo's myopia? I wrote this chapter and annoyed myself in the process! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

Big shout out to my reviewers and those of you that have added this story to favorites/update. Thank you all. And don't forget to review!

PS: Do check out RainDrops and Shadowgouf. RainDrops even has a very nice, totally yummy Byakuya story going on. So do check that out.