Me: The chickenpox episode. I have been waiting to do this one since I started working on season 2.
Dr. Doctor: Anonymous Fanz does not own anything except for Jack, Ellie, and Leonard Henderson.
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"Why do you want to go to Kenny's house?" Jack asked. Ellie was apparently trying to get inside the McCormick's home. "Because Kenny has chicken pox, and I want to get it so I can skip a week of school." Ellie explained.
The boys (minus Kenny) and their moms (minus Kenny's) arrived. Cartman was singing a song that was offensive poor people. "Look, the Henderson kids are here. Is your friend Kenny home?" Shiela Broflovski asked. "Yeah, but they won't let us in." Ellie explained. Stan knocked on the door. "Yeah?" Stuart McCormick amswered the door. "We're here to have a slumber party with Kenny." Stan explained.
"What? Don't you know Kenny's sick with—" Kenny's mom whispered their plan to him: Get the kids sick with chicken pox while their still young, so they don't get it worse later in life. "Oh yeah." He said. "Catch what?" Stan overhead part of what she said. "Nothin'. Uh, co, uh, come on in, I was jus' makin' dinner." Everyone walked into his house.
...
Oh, and Cartman is still singing. "Sshh! Cartman!" Stan tried to stop Cartman while they were in the home of the poor. "What?" He asked. "Kenny, your little friends are here! Come play with them!" Kenny said he didn't want to. "I know you're sick! Now get your buns out here!" She yelled. Kyle laughed. "Buns."
Kenny walked over. "Hey you guys, what's goin' on?" He asked. "Whoa, dude! You've got herpes on your face, too!" Stan exclaimed. His sister Shelly also has chicken pox, and was the reason all this started.
"Where is the Nintendo?" Cartman asked, looking around. "They don't have one. Their TV doesn't even have color." Jack explained. Another season. "Oh my God. This is like a third-world country." Kyle said. "At least you didn't have to live her for a month." Ellie reminded. Kenny described it as one of the worst experiences of his life. Even worse than his deaths? He really hates Ellie.
"Throw your sleeping bags in Kenny's room and then come grab some dinner." Stuart instructed. "Good, I'm starving." Cartman said.
...
"Let's say grace." Kenny's mom said. "I'm not religious." Jack reminded. "Lord, we thank you for this staggering payload of frozen waffles you have bestowed upon us. And since we have been faithful to you, we know that you will send us some good fortune one of these days, even though you sure as hell seem to be taking your sweet time. Amen." Stuart prayed. "Amen." Every religous person in the room said. Except Cartman.
"Okay, let's dig in." Stuart dropped a waffle in the tooster. "What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening with our frozen waffles?" Cartman asked. "Cartman, these are poor people. We're lucky they have any waffles to begin with." Jack explained. "Poor people suck!" Cartman shouted.
Stuart decided to use small talk why they wait for the waffles. "So, Kyle, your dad's still bringing home those big, fat lawyer paychecks?" Stuart asked, trying to change the subject. "I don't know." Kyle answered. "Stuart, don't even get started! " Kenny's mom didn't want to hear the rant she knew he was going to follow with. "What? I'm just askin' a question." Stuart dismissed.
"You know, your dad and I used to be best friends when we were teenagers. We would work together at Pizza Shack." He started telling the story. "But he got promoted and went off to community college and I didn't. And you know why? 'Cause your dad's Jewish!" And he's ranting now. "I heard that!" Cartman exclaimed.
"That ain't why, Stuart! It's because you are an alcoholic retard and he had dreams of not eating frozen waffles for dinner every night!" And the rants lead to arguments. "Hey, is it my fault you don't know how to cook?!" And arguments lead to fights. "What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles, clamhead?! You put 'em in the toaster and you cook 'em!" And that is why no one can acomplish anything in the McCormick's home. "You just don't know how to use spices and stuff." The waffles popped up. "You don't use spices on waffles!" Jack ranted. God damn it.
"Now Kevin, we ain't got enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother." Kevin, Kenny's older brother was forced to share his waffle, which he'd already called dibs on. "Oh, Jesus, are you fucking kidding me?" Carman was not happy he had to share waffles for dinner. "Hey! We don't say "fuck" at the table, you little asshole!" Stuart yelled. But apparently, "Hell", "Retard", and "Asshole" are fair play. Cartman grumbled something about side dishes.
Kenny sneezed. "Kenny, honey, if you're going to sneeze, sneeze on them." His mom instructed. Kenny sneezed on Cartman. "AIY!"
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"Man, your family sucks ass, Kenny. Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner?" Cartman was pissed off because the toaster stopped working, so his waffle wasn't warmed. Whether it was due to a loss of power or the toaster being crap remains to be seen.
"At least you're only staying for the night. I had to live here for a whole month." Jack reminded. He walk out the door. "Wait, where are you going?" Stan asked. "I didn't bring a sleeping bag, and I don't want to get sick, so screw you guys, I'm going home." Jack left. "AIY! You can't say— AIY! Come back, I'm not done yelling at you!" Cartman yelled.
"Come on! Let's just get in our sleeping bags and get this night over with." Kyle said. Stan and Kyle opened Terrence and Philip sleeping bags. Cartman did not follow their plan. "Cartman, what the hell is that?" Kyle asked. "It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it coool?" Why would he think that? "No, it's not cool!" Kyle yelled. A rat ran by.
"Dude, I think I just saw a rat!" Stan exclaimed. "Oh crap!" Ellie jumped onto Kenny's bed. "Argh! You have rats in your house, too, Kenny?!" Cartman asked. "Uh-huh." Kenny confirmed. "Dude, seriously, you'd better stop being so poor, or else I'm gonna start huckin' rocks atcha." Cartman warned. Then we can add being stoned to one of Kenny's deaths.
"I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats." Stan noted. Kenny angrily yelled in response. "Oh." The lights were turned off. "I'm not sleeping on the floor." Ellie declared. Kenny made an offer. "No, fuck you!" Ellie kicked Kenny out of his bed.
...
Ellie returned to what was left of her home. "Ellie, where were you?" Leonard asked when she came in. "Kenny's house." She answered. "Oh. Wait, why?" Leo asked. "Because they have actual beds, and we don't." Ellie replied.
"She's trying to get chicken pox." Jack explained. "Oh. Wait, why?" Leo asked. "So she can skip school." Jack answered. "Oh. Okay." Leo left the bunker. "Can I go back until I catch it?" Ellie asked. "Yeah, sure." Leo replied.
...
Apparently Stan and Cartman caught Chickenpox, but Kyle was completely unaffected. The two things strange about this is that the virus doesn't typically spread in under twenty four hours. In Stan's case, he might have gotten it from his sister, but Cartman's case suggests that this is may be a mutated strain of the virus, which is probably why it's spreading so fast. But that's not relevant to the story right now.
Kyle got sent back to Kenny's house, with Ellie. "Could we go home now, Ma?" Kyle asked. "No, bubbeleh. You play with Kenny some more." Shiela instructed. "But we've been playing for eight hours. We can't think of anything else to do." complained said.
"I've got a great game for you. It's called 'ookie mouth'." Shiela has an idea. "What's that?" Ellie asked. "First, you let Kenny spit in your mouth. Then you try to swallow his spit and say 'ookie mouth' at the same time." She was hoping that this game would give Kyle the virus. "Sick dude!" Kyle yelled. "No, no, bubbe, it's loads of fun. Try it." Shiela assured. She went on to talk about the hot water being served because the McCormicks can't afford tea bags.
"Ookie mouth!" Kyle spat Kenny's spit out. "Gross! I can't do it, Ma!" Kyle yelled. "Try agin, Bubbe!" Shiela replied. Kenny spat again. "Argh!" Kyle wasn't ready, and it landed on his face. After several more failed attempts resulted in Kyle's face and hat being covered in saliva, he walked back to his mother.
"Oh, it's my turn." Ellie said. Kenny froze. "Spit in my mouth Kenny! Do it!" Were it any other girl, Kenny would do it without question. But this was Ellie. Kenny was afraid of Ellie because of the multiple time's she's killed him. After several seconds, he finally decided to do it. "Ow! You got it in my eye!"
...
"And so, children, that's how you tell a prostitute from a policeman. Now, are there any questions?" Mr. Garrison explain something that had been pissing Leo off for years because people didn't know. Kyle raised his hand "Yes, Kyle?" Mr. Garrison asked. "What the hell does that have to do with American history?" Kyle asked. "Uh, that's a good question, Kyle." Mr. Garrison did not have an answer.
"Are there any other questions?" Ellie raised her hand. "Why is it that we're the only ones that haven't caught chicken pox?" Ellie asked. "How the hell should I know?" Mr. Garrison asked. "You're the one that asked for a question." Jack replied. "Shut up Jack, nobodies talking to you!" Mr. Garrison yelled.
"Can we just get our homework and leave since all we're doing is asking questions?" Ellie asked. "Sure, why not. I'm going to assign you all a paper." Mr. Garrison liked the idea of taking the day off while the students were sick. "Fuck you, Ellie!" Jack yelled.
"The theme of the paper will be, 'How I would make America better'." Mr. Garrison explained. Donald Trump has some ideas. "We're gonna build a wall!"
"Well, I already did that." Jack opened his bag, and pulled a out a paper. It rolled across the room as he unfolded it. "No wait, this is the world." Jack shoved it back into his bag. The fact that he has plans for the world is mildly creepy.
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"This sucks! I went slept at Kenny's three days in a row, and I'm still not sick!" Ellie yelled, as she walked back into the basement bunker. "Dad, how long does it take to get chicken pox?" Ellie asked. "I dunno. I never got it." He said. What? "Wait, why?" Jack asked. "Because one in a thousand people are immune to sickness, and I'm the one." Leonard answered. So he's one of those people that never get's sick.
"What?!" Ellie yelled. "Yeah, I don't generally get sick. You probably inherited that from me." Leo explained. "So I was going to Kenny's house, letting him cough on me, swallowing his spit, and sleeping in his bed, to catch a virus I'm immune to?!" Ellie asked. "Yeah." Leo said. "God damn it!" Ellie stormed out of the bunker, so she could kill Kenny out of rage.
"Wait, she slept in his bed?" Joel asked. "OH SHIT!" Jack and Leo yelled.