Chapter 21

Sanctuary

A/N: To Isky- Oh yes, Kili definitely needs some self-esteem.

Disclaimer: I still do not own anything relating to Middle Earth, except my OCs, and I do not profit; but I dearly love playing there.

As Kίli's panic calmed and he was able to think rationally once more, he came to a realization. There was one place in the village where he had always felt secure and welcome. He knew he would be able to wait there until either Fίli or Thorin was free, and best of all, he would be safe. Accordingly he wiped the tears from his face and tried to smooth his clothes and disheveled hair before rising and heading toward the toy shop.

When he heard the door open, Bofur glanced up from arranging wooden soldiers on a shelf.

"Ah, Kίli. It's good ta see ya, lad," the miner turned toymaker called.

'B-Bofur," Kίli started voice still shaky. "Can I s-stay in the w-workroom a while?"

Hearing the tremor in the voice, Bofur looked up. His habitual smile faded quickly as he took in the young prince's appearance. Although Kίli had done what he could to mask the state he was in, it was still readily apparent that he was very upset.

"Oh, aye, sure ya kin," Bofur returned as he crossed to the door where Kίli stood unmoving just inside the shop. "Would there be anythin' I kin do ta help ya?" He took Kίli's arm and began drawing him toward the workroom.

The dark-haired dwarf did not answer, merely shook his head.

Once Kίli was seated at the workbench, Bofur left and quickly returned with a mug of ale which he sat before the prince. "Ya look as if ya could use this."

Kίli nodded and took a deep drink while the toymaker rummaged around to find a knife and piece of wood which he placed next to the mug.

"Ya keep comin' here 'n' we'll make a carver o' ya yet," Bofur chuckled as his cousin Bifur added something unintelligible in Khuzdul.

"Thanks, Bofur, Bifur," Kίli's voice no longer quivered.

"Lad, ya know, yer always welcome t'here." The toymaker laid a hand on Kίli's shoulder. ""N' I may not be able ta give ya the best advice, but I kin sure listen, if need be."

Kίli gave a small smile and nodded; but this wasn't something he wanted to share outside his family. He picked up the wood and slowly ran the blade across the surface.

The match on the training field ended in a draw and the blonde prince laughed, "Finally." Fίli reached out to clasp arms with his burly instructor.

"Aye, lad, I went easy on you that time," Dwalin returned. "I could see you were tiring. Next time will be harder."

"Like you ever give me quarter," Fίli shook his head, sweat dripping from his braids. Quickly he stowed his practice equipment and headed for home. He'd promised his brother they would go to the trader's market today and Kίli had already been by once, but then Kίli never did have any patience.

"Kee, I'm home," Fίli called stepping through the door. "Just let me clean up and we'll go."

He expected to see his brother come bouncing through the house ready to leave; instead he was met with silence. He walked to the bedroom to find it empty; there were no clothes, books, or mess of any kind to indicate that Kίli had spent any time at home today. His brother's boots were also missing.

"Kίli? Where are you?" Slightly perturbed, he shook his head. "Quit pouting. You know I had to practice today."

When he still received no answer, Fίli concluded his baby brother had just decided to go to the caravan market without him.. Growling at the impatient dwarfling-like behavior, he did a quick clean up and headed for the market field himself. He had a few choice words to share with his brother when he found the brat.

Fίli strolled through the aisles dividing his time between checking out the various wares and keeping watch for his brother's raven locks, his annoyance growing with each step. After one complete turn through the booths and wagons he had seen no sign of the wayward prince. Fίli felt certain he would have seen Kίli if his brother had been there. Thinking back to the practice field, Kίli had seemed agitated. At the time he had read it as impatience, but what if he had been wrong? What if something else had been going on? He knew the next place his brother would go if there had been a problem was to his uncle, and so Fίli left the marketplace at a trot headed for the forge.

Thorin had just placed a sword in the slack bath and was wiping sweat from his brow as his heir entered the forge, a look of concern on his young face.

"Fίli, I thought you and your brother would be at the market by now." Thorin called crossing to meet his sister-son.

"We were supposed to, but I can't find Kίli," the blonde explained. "He came by the training field earlier and I told him I'd meet him at home; but when I got home, he wasn't there."

"Did he go by himself?"

"No, I thought about that, too. I looked. He wasn't there either." Fίli countered.

"He came here this morning wanting to talk to me," Thorin remembered the anxious expression on his youngest sister-son's face. "I told him I was busy and would talk to him tonight. He didn't seem very pleased; he just turned and left. Come to think of it, he didn't argue or press the issue."

"You don't think there's some problem do you, Uncle?" Fίli asked with growing concern for his brother's whereabouts.

"Hard to tell with your brother," Thorin bit back a laugh.

Fίli nodded smiling at the accuracy of the remark. "Guess I'll keep looking for him. Surely he hasn't gone too far."

Thorin clapped his nephew on the shoulder; then Fίli turned and left the forge mentally making a list of the most likely places his brother could be.

A while later Fίli left Bombur's tavern, the last place on his list. Still no Kίli, and no one remembered seeing him all day. He exhaled in frustration. About the only place he had not looked yet was his brother's favorite tree in the forest, and he really did not want to trek out into the woods. Of course, if Kίli were pouting, that's most likely where he would be. Fili was tempted to just go home and let his baby, with emphasis on the baby, brother sulk alone.

As he turned back toward home, Fίli passed the toy shop. The two had spent many hours there as dwarflings since it had been one place that would calm the younger prince when he was throwing a tantrum. Kίli had always been fascinated by the Ur brothers' intricate toys, and they had been gracious enough to indulge the princes. It was worth a try.

Fίli walked into the shop looking around but did not see his brother. Disappointed he turned to leave when he heard Bofur call out.

"Been wonderin' when ya'd be comin' by, Fίli."

"So then my brother is here?" the blonde asked not quite sure what the toymaker's statement meant.

"Oh, aye, that he is; 'n' has been fer a while now." Bofur grinned, but then turned serious. "Seemed a wee bit upset when he came in tho'. He's in tha' back." He inclined his head in the direction of the workroom.

Fίli crossed the shop and pulled back the curtain leading to the back room to find the dark-haired dwarf, head bent in concentration, as he carved what appeared to be a lion.

"Durin's beard, Kίli!" Fίli exclaimed. "What do you think you're doing? You were supposed to meet me at home." He had not intended his words to come out so harshly, but he rankled at the thought of his brother happily carving animals with friends while he had been on an all-out search around the village to find him.

Kίli flinched at the sound, letting the knife and wooden animal clatter to the table as he jumped up, eyes wide like a dwarfling caught in the middle of mischief. The only thing that kept the bench from overturning was Bifur's weight on it.

Kίli looked up briefly meeting his brother's gaze before looking away; but it was long enough for Fίli to read the fear in those dark eyes. It was the same horror reflected there that he remembered from years before when nightmares had sent Kίli scrambling into his bed for comfort.

"They're here, Fee. They're here." Kίli gasped raggedly.

"Who's here? What are you talking about?" Fίli schooled his voice to remain calm.

"Those men." This time it was nearly a whine. Kίli's eyes were huge and his chin quivered as he chewed his lower lip.

Fίli still might not understand what had upset his brother but he clearly read the distress in Kili's posture and could only surmise that his brother had barely been holding himself together. He knew they needed to get home before Kίli lost the tenuous control he was desperately trying to maintain.

"It's alright, Kee. Everything's going to be fine." Fίli used his best comforting big brother voice. "Come on, let's go home."

Kίli hesitated staring.

"Trust me, nadadith." Fίli pleaded, surprised that the younger dwarf had not already run to him for security as he always did when frightened.

Kίli ducked his head then picked up the animal he'd been carving and walked over to his brother. Turning back he said, "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Anytime, laddie," Bofur returned as Fίli put his arm around his brother and led him out of the shop. He could feel the tension in his body as they walked in silence; and for once he was glad that Kίli was being quiet about whatever was bothering him, at least until they made it home. He was certain his brother was on the ragged edge of a panic attack that he would rather not deal with in public.

Once they entered the house and Fίli had closed the door behind them, he broached the subject again.

"Kee, I'm sorry, but I still don't know what you're trying to tell me," Fίli admitted.

Kίli stopped, back to his brother, and huffed in exasperation. How could his brother not understand? He shook as he tried to bring himself to utter the words, tears once again rolling from his eyes. After swallowing hard, he managed to speak.

"The m-men that r-r-raped me are here w-with the c-caravan."

Kίli dropped to his knees, head in his hands and fingers gripping his unruly hair, as his shoulders shook with silent sobs.

Fίli stood speechless at the revelation; he had thought the next time he saw those abhorrent beasts would be when Thorin meted out justice. When he recovered from the shock the blonde asked, "You saw them? You're sure?"

"He t-talked to me. K-knew my n-name...S-s-stroked m-my h-hair." He sat back on his heels, his breaths coming in gasps as he rocked back and forth trying desperately to shove the heinous memories from the previous encounter out of his mind. Yet every time Kίli thought about this morning, his mind flashed back to a forest clearing on a fall day where he had learned the devastating reality of humiliation and defilement.

Fίli knelt beside his brother as he felt his gut clench at the words. Grasping the full impact of what had happened today, he realized that it was as if his little brother had been violated all over again. The image of those men touching Kίli's hair, a ritual of intimacy among Dwarves, appalled him. The elder prince thought of their morning routine where he finger-combed the snarls and tangles from his brother's raven locks, and knew that if stroked that hair now, Kίli would flinch and stiffen, if not pull away all together.

Then the revelation hit him like a hammer clanging against the anvil. He, the one who had sworn to protect his little brother, to always be there for him, had not been there today, had failed to protect him...again. And then when Kίli came to him for help, he had sent him away without even giving him a chance to explain what was wrong. Fίli clamped a hand over his mouth against the bile rising in his throat. He needed to make everything right, but before he could get a word out, Kίli continued.

"P-put his h-hand on m-my leg...S-s-said t-they'd c-come...f-f-find me."

Kίli's forlorn voice tore at Fίli's heart and he pulled his brother close wrapping his arms around him when he understood from those last words that the men actually intended to rape his brother again. No wonder Kίli was frantic. The golden prince sent a silent prayer to Mahal that this episode would not erase the progress Kίli had made over the winter.

Kίli buried his head against Fίli's chest, hands fisting in his brother's tunic as he sobbed out his terror and frustration at the day.

"Oh, Kee. I am so, so sorry. I should have listened to you. If I had realized, I would never have turned you away at the training field." Fίli assured while he rubbed circles on the younger dwarf's back. "And I know Thorin wouldn't have either. I'll tell Uncle and he'll know how to take care of it. But I'm here now. I won't let them hurt you again."

Kίli merely nodded agreement, no longer trusting his voice with speech, yet knowing that their bond reached deeper than any need for words.

A/N: Kili's not having a very good day and it's not really going to get much better; but at least Fili's there now. Thanks to everyone who's sticking with me on this rollercoaster. Let me know what you think, please. Review, review, review.