Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fial Fantasy X I own only my characters and my ideas...
Yay! Another chapter! And I've decided, after looking at my stats on who visits on which days the most, that I'm gonna try to post a new chapter every Thursday and Saturday. :) So you can be looking for updates on those days.
Also, I use my profile as a little message board to everyone who reads my story, so you might want to go by and look at that every so often. Other than that, enjoy this chapter. :)
Memories
In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods, let him stay
The memories ease
The pain inside
And now I know
Why…
All of my memories
Keep you near
It's all about us
Imagine you'd be here
I sang as I flew through the air, the sprinkled night sky blanketing me as I swooped up and down through the clouds.
All the while I began to rewind my mind to the beginning when Auron and I had first met, and how I met the rest of the gang. After what Ida had explained to me afterwards, I was heartbroken.
At first I wanted to say no…I didn't want to agree. But when I thought about Auron and how his life had ended so quickly and so unfairly, I found myself giving in.
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers
The silent tears…
Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're
Okay…
Reminds me again
It's worth it all
So I can go home
All of my memories
Keep you near
It's all about us
Imagine you'd be here
All my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers
The silent tears
As I sang the rest of the song, tears welled up in my eyes and were blown away almost immediately by the wind. My vision was blurred and my heart ached, but I knew what I was doing was right. Deep down inside I knew I could do it…because I was doing it out of love.
Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling you know I love you
Till the end of time
All of my memories
Keep you near
It's all about us
Imagine you'd be here
All my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers
The silent tears
I sniffled as I drew closer my hiding place, the alcove a half a mile away. It was growing late and I wiped at my eyes as I landed beside the boulder, then began to quickly pull on my armor.
I was worried that Auron wouldn't be asleep when I got back, but I didn't even need to guess. He wouldn't be asleep. I knew if I didn't hurry I was going to be chewed out for being out for so long in the night.
It doesn't matter if I do hurry, he'll chew me out anyway.
I sighed softly to myself as I closed my wings completely against my back, then snapped my breast plate back into place.
After getting everything situated I began to head back to the alcove. As I walked, fatigue finally caught up with me and I realized just how tired I really was. I yawned several times, stumbled on unseen objects and even tripped over my own feet all the way there.
As I drew closer to the alcove I realized there was still a glow from inside and I shivered at the thought of warmth against my skin.
I guess I'll be getting a long lecture. I thought as I dreaded going inside, but I was cold and tired and that drove me to walk in.
Remembering that the others were still asleep, I tip toed quietly towards the fire. Auron was sitting in the same place where I had left him, but now there was a glare on his face.
I immediately avoided looking at him and even sat away from him, on the other side of the fire. For several seconds of awkward silence, we didn't speak. Then, overcome with curiousity, I made the mistake of looking up.
Yikes! I quickly looked away.
He had been looking at me the whole time, and when I had finally looked up he glared at me dangerously. I knew now what was coming next.
"Where were you?"
Ah, That's it.
"Like I said," I began as I shifted uncomfortably, "out for a while." All the while I refused to meet his burning gaze. It wasn't always safe to look at him when he was angry or annoyed, especially when it was dark and the fire was casting scary shadows that made things looked more intimidating than what they were!
"That must have been some walk." Auron said slowly as he stressed the last two words. I immediately shot him a look, glaring back at him this time.
"You were out for at least an hour and half." Auron pointed out. "I went to look for you but couldn't find you. How do you explain that?" On the outside I was glaring at him with annoyance, my body still as I kept my gaze steady. On the inside, however, I was racking my brain for a good excuse and nervously trying to keep calm.
"Maybe I was some place where no one would be able to spy on me." I finally retorted and Auron immediately snorted at my remark, thinking it stupid. Obviously.
"That's no excuse. It's dangerous out there, Cynyr. It's dark, there are fiends, and I didn't know where you were." He said this low in his throat and I growled in mine with irritation.
After all I've decided to do for you!
"I. Don't. Care." I remarked defiantly; like a five year old kid.
"What?" Auron asked in a notorious voice, and for a second I actually began to regret those words.
"Good. Night." I replied instead, then lay down, my back to him and the fire, and tried to fall asleep.
It's absolutely amazing how we can be in love one minute, then completely hate each other the next! UGH! Why is he so difficult!
Early in the morning, before the birds were up as well as the sun, I was suddenly shaken awake. At first, I ignored them and tried to continue sleeping, but they kept shaking my shoulder.
I laid completely still as I tried to act as though I were still asleep, but they kept shaking me. Over and over, and over. Now, I was becoming annoyed and I growled as I found myself half awake, and rolled over so that my back was to them. This was suppose to hint that I wasn't getting up.
They didn't get the hint.
"Cynyr." A deep voice whispered close to my ear, and I immediately recognized it as Auron's. I sighed heavily.
"What?" I growled.
"Get up. There's something I want to show you." I sighed again.
"Auron...it's the butt crack of dawn!" I hissed quietly.
"Obviously. Now get up."
I sighed for the third time and figured it had to be important enough for him, of all people, to wake me up before sun rise. I slowly rolled towards him and cracked an eye open to look up at him.
I almost jumped when I found his face several inches away from mine, and sucked in a sharp breath.
What are you trying to do! Scare the living daylights out of me! Suddenly, he gave me an odd look and I gave him the exact same look.
"What?" I asked as I raised a hand to my forehead. Suddenly, I remembered the symbols on my forehead and my heart immediately skipped a beat.
"What's on your forehead?" Auron asked as I quickly (trying to be casual about it) pulled my hair up over it and slowly rose up in a sitting position.
"What…my forehead?" I stammered as I tried to avoid looking at him. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I suddenly broke into a sweat.
He saw! What am I going to do! What will I say? What's he going to say!
"Cynyr?" I finally looked up, trying to calm my nervous heart while meeting his gaze.
"Are you alright?" He asked slowly and suspiciously, and I quickly nodded.
"Yes…why?" I asked 'oh, so innocently' and for a moment there was silence between us. Then, after giving me another look of confusion, he finally rose and began to walk out of the alcove.
I watched as he left and held a hand to my chest, feeling my heart continue to beat fast. I drew in a deep breath before letting it out, then I began to stretch my sore muscles, groaning softly in pain. It wasn't easy sleeping in your armor, but there was no other way without revealing my wings.
Geez, that was a close one! I'm surprised he didn't try to press on...
Sighing again, I looked around me at the others, who were still asleep, then got up and began to stumbled my way out of the alcove. What exactly could be so important that requires me to be up so early!
I stopped abruptly as I found no sight of Auron and I looked around in confusion. I lifted a hand to my forehead as I ran my fingers through my hair and began to take a step forward.
Now, where the heck did he go?
Before I could get any farther, something suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards. I yelped in surprise as I spun around and came an inch away from Auron's face, my lips almost brushing against his silly collar. My heart leaped as I gazed into that one russet eye and he stared back with a light laugh.
Then, he slowly let go of me and began to turn away again. I smiled a small smile and shook my head as I began to follow him.
"What exactly are you trying to show me that requires to be up so early?" I asked as we began to walk up a rather steep hill.
"You mean you haven't guessed it yet?"
I furrowed my brows slightly as I stared up at his back, then he stopped and I came up beside him to find ourselves at the top of cliff. It overlooked a lot of the Calm Lands and behind the shadowed hills was the horizon that was slowly turning yellow and pink from the rise of the sun.
My expression relaxed as I realized what he meant, then I slowly smiled as I watched the sun rise and cast breath taking colors upon the sky.
For several minutes we just stood there watching the sky, and every so often I'd glance over at Auron. He silently stood, stock still, next to me as he gazed out at the sun rise as well. The bright colors of the sun caused his face to glow, and for a moment I thought he was smiling. But there was no way I could be for sure. He was always wearing that silly collar and tinted glasses.
I wish I could see his face…just once.
"It's really…beautiful, Auron." I said softly and from the corner of my eye I saw him turn to look at me.
"Thanks." I added with a smile and finally met his gaze. Now, he smiled, and I bit my lip as I looked from the ground to his face, but before I could speak again he did so first.
"You should try singing, now." I blinked in surprise. "It's just us." He pointed out with another smile and I immediately rolled my eyes.
"Yeah right." I muttered as I crossed my arms, looking away from him as I stared back out at the painted sky.
"Huh. Stubborn as always." He murmured, and I shot him a look before smiling a little, but then it faded and I turned back to him.
"Why do you care so much?" I asked with curiousity, and he glanced in my direction before looking back out at the sky.
"Do you really need to ask?"
I was silent a moment as I thought about this, then I heard him chuckle lightly beside me. I looked up at him expectantly and he glanced back at me before finally turning to face me completely.
"So…what's stopping you this time?" I bit my lip as I averted my eyes away from him and looked at anything but him.
"I-I don't know." I shrugged as I began to feel uncomfortable. Then, I quickly glared up at him.
"But that doesn't give the excuse for me to start singing." Auron chuckled again.
"Then, sing because I've asked you too." He said this softly, taking a step closer to me, as if we weren't close enough, and smiled down at me.
Looking up to meet his gaze I found myself at a dead end. Completely defeated and at a lose of words. It was totally pointless and immature to say no again…and in a way, I kind of did want to sing for Auron.
But only for Auron I thought as I slowly turned away from him, a small smile crossing my lips as I felt him continue to gaze down at me.
What should I sing...?
Auron waited patiently as I tried to think of a song to sing, then I took in a breath, stopped, and cleared my throat. Nervously, my lips parted ever so slightly and I began to hum. Softly and slowly. Then, they turned into words.
Lost in the darkness…hoping for a sign.
Instead there's only silence
Can't you hear my screams
Never stop hoping
Need to know where you are
That one thing's for sure
You're always in my heart
I'll find you somewhere…
I'll keep on trying
Until my dying day…
I just need to know…
Whatever has happened…
The truth will free my soul.
As I sang, I avoided looking at Auron and stared out at the sky as the colors of pink, purple, and yellow slowly faded out to just a cloudy blue. The hill's shadows' were slowly shrinking, and a wind blew the grasses of the Calm Lands against my ankles.
All the while I could feel Auron's gaze on me as I continued to sing. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and nervous...but as I got more into the song, I closed my eyes and shut the world out. It was just me and the words that danced off my tongue.
Lost in the darkness
Tried to find your way home
I want to embrace you
And never let you go
Almost hope you're in heaven
So no one can hurt your soul
Living in agony
Cause I just do not know…
Where you are…
I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying
Until my dying day
I just need to know
Whatever has happened
The truth will free my soul
Wherever you are
I won't stop searching
Whatever it takes me to know…
I began to hum again for several more seconds, then fell back into the chorus, singing it once more before stopping. The song was done, and we stood in silence. I slowly opened my eyes again and nervously looked at anything else but Auron.
"That was beautiful, Cynyr." Auron suddenly murmured softly, causing me to blush immediately. I bit down on my lip, hard, before glancing once in his direction.
"Mm…thanks." I said quietly and he suddenly began to chuckle. I looked over at him in slight confusion and with a little annoyance.
"What's so funny?" I asked accusingly and he looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye.
"You."
I looked away quickly and he seemed to inch a little closer to me. Our shoulders were almost brushing and I was about to inch closer myself. We slowly looked up at one another, then began to turn to face the other...until we heard Tidus's voice.
Down below, there he stood with his hands on his hips, a silly, childish grin on his face, as he looked up at us.
"Hey! Love birds! Lets go!" He called, and I spun around to glare down at him.
"You're the last one to talk!" I shouted down to him, but he just laughed and I started down the hill towards him. I only took a two steps forward when Auron suddenly grabbed my arm to stop me. Tidus was now turning away and walking back, and I growled in my throat with annoyance.
"Why'd you let him go?" I asked as I looked up at Auron, and he slowly let go of me as he looked down at me.
"Because you'd only be wasting your time and energy." Then, he walked past me and on down the hill. I stood there a second just watching him walk away with a look of confusion on my face.
So, what does that mean? I wondered, then, finally started down the hill after him.
As I was coming closer to the alcove, I began to slow then came to a stop as I watched everyone from a distance. Tidus was stretching noisily, Yuna was watching him as Lulu stood beside her with her arms crossed- she looked as though she were scolding Wakka as he stood with a fearful look on his face. Kimahri stood, silent as always and still, near Yuna as he kept a careful eye on Tidus.
Rikku, on the other hand, was running and jumping around like she just had jumping beans for breakfast. I stood there silently, watching her and then the rest of them as I became lost in my own thoughts.
I'm sorry Yuna…I hope you can forgive me.
I played back what had happened back in the Calm Lands with Ida...the plan that she had told me that even caused her sorrow. I began to think of the others, trying to imagine what their reaction would be when they found out as well.
Auron will be angry…I know. Everyone else… I sighed heavily as I crossed my arms over my chest and thought about what would come in Zanarkand.
How will I do this? I asked no one in particular, but Ida answered me anyway.
Continue to love him.
"Yo! Cynyr!" Wakka called, and I looked up to see him waving at me, the others getting ready to leave. I forced a smile and began to walk down to the alcove, ready to join them as I acted as though nothing was wrong.
When really…there is. But what I have decided…is all for the best.
As we walked through the Calm Lands, collecting gil as we fought the fiends local to the area, Rikku was either asking dumb questions or moving around like she couldn't walk in a quiet straight line.
It was like she was all hyped up on drugs or something from the way she was acting.
"Rikku…what's the point in doing that?" Tidus asked as he watched her do three cartwheels in a row. Rikku made one more cartwheel before stopping and looking over at Tidus with a grin.
"It's fun and I feel like it!" She exclaimed.
"You'll get tired, ya."
"How will you fight with no energy left?" Yuna asked with a small smile.
"It's becoming a distraction." Auron said gruffly, but Rikku just laughed at us.
"Naw! This is fun! I could never run out of energy!" With that, she did another cartwheel.
I believe it.
"You try!" Rikku nudged Tidus in the ribs as she came up breathlessly beside him. He crossed his arms and shook his head.
"Sorry." Rikku shrugged and turned to Wakka.
"How 'bout you?" Before Wakka could answer, I spoke up.
"Don't bother asking him. He wouldn't want to get his pretty hair messed up." At this, the others began to laugh, especially Tidus as he slapped the glowering Wakka on the back.
"You're gonna get it, Cynyr." Wakka growled. I began to laugh.
"Do something!"
Wakka turned his head in my direction, slowly, and raised a brow as if asking me "are you sure you wanna challenge me?" Tidus began to laugh now.
"We don't have time for this foolishness." Auron quickly intervened.
"Oh, come on! Don't be such a party pooper!" Rikku exclaimed.
I smiled as I found the thought of "sucking up", entertaining.
"Auron's right. We need to stay focused." Tidus snorted as he turned to walk backwards while facing Wakka and me.
"Whatever! I can take any fiend out here, distracted or not! No problem!"
"What, like that?" I joked as I pointed behind him, but Tidus wasn't dumb enough to fall for that one.
"Sorry Cynyr, I'm not going to fall for that one!" He exclaimed proudly with a smirk.
"Dude, it's Rin's Travel Agency, ya!" Wakka suddenly exclaimed, and we all looked up and Tidus spun around immediately.
"Really? Where?" Tidus asked in excitment, but he was greeted by more hills and we all started to laugh at him as he suddenly realized he had fallen for Wakka's trick.
"I thought you weren't dumb enough-"
"Shut up, Wakka!"
We all began to laughed again, but it was quickly stopped as several fiends up ahead began running towards us.
"Holy crap!" Rikku exclaimed, and we all quickly began to withdraw our weapons, getting into our battle stances as the fiends drew nearer. They snarled, growled, and spat.
"Wow, I never even saw those coming, ya!"
"That's why you should have been paying attention instead of fooling around." Auron remarked as he ran forward to lay a hit on the first fiend. It was killed immediately.
"We were just having fun…for once." Rikku pointed out.
"Fine." Auron growled. "Die here if you want." Wakka ran up and hit the next fiend, wounding it immediately.
"Ugh! Aruon, you don't have to be so mean." Rikku complained before attacking the fiend in front of her.
"I'd have to agree with that." I commented, then ran up next and killed off the second to last fiend.
"You agree to everything!" Tidus exclaimed as he ran up next.
"Is this arguing necessary!" Lulu suddenly blurted as she threw Fira upon the last fiend. This ended its life and Pyerflies filled the air again.
"Yeah, and you're always gullible more than half the time, Tidus." I retorted as I put my sword away. Tidus spun around to face me and gave me a look of both confusion and frustration.
"H-hey!" He exclaimed.
"Okaaaay! This conversation is over, ya." Wakka said quickly as he walked past us both. Tidus rolled his eyes and I smirked before we also began to turn and walk with the others.
Several hours and battles later we finally came across Rin's Travel Agency. The real Travel Agency. As soon as I saw it a pang of sorrow grabbed hold of my heart, the image of Rin coming into my mind as well as Shadow.
I clenched my fists just at the thought of Shadow, but I showed no anger as we quickly walked to the Inn where we would rest and stock up on our food and water.
I'm gonna kill you, Shadow!
When we approached the colorful structure we found it to be smaller than we had thought it would be, but there was a corral of Chocobo's in the back with a woman attending to them quietly.
We went inside and gathered what we would need and then headed back outside. I made sure to get myself a shawl, knowing soon we'd be in the mountains where it was snowing, and put it in my pack. As the lot of us stood or sat around quietly, Tidus suddenly bounded away somewhere behind the Inn.
Minutes later a man in priest's clothing approached us from afar, and when I noticed tha collar around his neck I almost wanted to laugh out loud.
You've got to be kidding me! Is this some sort of fashion!
"Father Zuke." Lulu exclaimed as she stepped up, immediately recognizing the man. He stopped a good distance away before speaking.
"Long time no see." I looked from Father Zuke to Lulu questioningly.
"You are Yuna?" He asked then, and Yuna nodded.
"Hmm, you certainly don't look like Maester Kinoc's murder."
"What?" I said quietly to myself in shock. Yuna was in as much shock as well. Sorrowful too.
"Please, tell us what has happened." Yuna asked immediately.
"Master Mika just issued a personal order, you know." Father Zuke began. "It said you and your guardians murdered Maester Kinoc and fled! We are to kill you on sight- or so it says." He added quickly and Yuna looked down. Crestfallen. I crossed my arms over my chest as I stared at Father Zuke expectantly, just waiting for him to say he was about to kill us now.
"What of Bevelle?" Auron asked suddenly, and Father Zuke turned to him.
"Things are calm on the surface, but the depths are turbulent. After the death of Maester Kinoc, Kelk Ronso left Yevon." He explained.
"Convenient." Auron began. "Getting around will be a lot easier with Yevon in disarray."
"But be careful my friends," Father Zuke continued, "you have been branded enemies of Yevon."
As if we needed a reminder.
"You should avoid temples for the time being." He added as he turned back to Yuna, who bowed respectfully to him.
"Thank you Father Zuke…for your warning."
"Father," Lulu began quickly, "you came all this way just to tell us this?" Zuke seemed to shrug as he replied.
"To tell the truth, I was a little curious to see this summoner you're guarding. I hope her Pilgrimage goes well…for your sake too." He added.
"Thank you, Father" Lulu nodded, then began to bow, followed by Zuke.
"I must be off."
Then he turned and began to walk quickly away from us and out into the Calm Lands. I watched him leave as I still stood there with my arms crossed, thinking about what he had said.
It's a good thing those two knew each other...otherwise, we'd have had to kill him to. Ugh...I'm so sick of this...I don't want to kill anybody anymore.
"Hey guys!" Tidus suddenly shouted from behind us. "Look what I found!" The others were turning to him and there were a few gasps of surprise. Intrigued by what Tidus had, I turned to see what all the awe was about.
My eyes grew wide and my jaw almost hit the floor.
Tidus held up, proudly, in his hand three, long, elegant white feathers. Unmistakably mine. Fortunately, they didn't know this, but it was sight of them, and knowing that that they were mine that caused me to become uncomfortable and nervous.
Damn! I forgot all about shedding. They've probably littered the whole Calm Lands!
"Where did you find those?" Auron asked almost immediately, and the palms of my hands began to sweat.
I watched as Auron took a step closer and so did the others, all of them exaiming the feathers closely. Now, Tidus began to pass them around.
This is bad. With my feathers leaving a trail...sooner or later I'll be found out!
"I found them on the ground back there." He gestured behind him at the back of the Inn near the corral. Remembering the symbols on my forehead, I slowly raised a hand to the side of my face to pull more of my hair around my cheek.
"Wow…these are cool, ya." Wakka breathed, causing me to smile, but I quickly hid it.
"They don't belong to the Chocobo's…" Yuna added thoughtfully as she held one up to look at.
"They're rather large…and Chocobo's don't even have down feathers as white and pure as this." Lulu commented. I bit my lip nervously as I slowly lowered my arms to my sides.
"A fiend maybe?" I questioned, trying to blend in with the confusion.
Just play it cool. Don't cause suspicion.
"No." Auron immediately replied, and we all looked at him. "No fiend would have such feathers. Something else grew those." Auron finished and I bit my lip nervously as I thought about what he had just said…the way he had said it.
He sounds like he means that I'm dangerous...even if he doesn't know...
"Who or what could have such beautiful feathers?" Lulu asked as she examined the feather next.
"From what I can tell…whatever it is, is following us." Auron replied.
"Wait," Tidus exclaimed as he looked over at Auron, "how do you know so much?"
"I found one near the lake a couple days ago. It was the same kind of feather." Then, he reached into his jacket and suddenly withdrew another one of my feathers.
The one from the lake! He still has it!
"Wow, yeah it's the same one!" Rikku exclaimed. Now, I was becoming even more uncomfortable. All this talk about my feathers and none of them knew…I was worried they'd suddenly accuse me and all my secrets would be revealed.
No. Be rational. There's no way any of this could point to me. Not yet.
"So, you think…this creature is following us?" Tidus asked Auron.
Keep your secrets for as long as you can, Cynyr. It's to early. Ida said sternly, and I mentally nodded as Auron began to reply to Tidus.
"It's possible. It first showed up in Macalania, now there are more...and they're all here."
"What could it be?" Lulu murmured aloud.
"Could it be an Aeon, Yuna?" Rikku asked and I looked at Yuna hopefully as she thought a moment.
"I…I don't know. I haven't had one with white feathers."
"It's a good observation, though, ya."
"But the only ones who have Aeon's are summoners and Maesters. So…does that mean there is another summoner out here?" Lulu thought aloud and we all considered this a moment.
"Nonetheless, we should keep moving." Auron replied as he turned away from us.
"With the Yevonites wanting out heads on a platter and this thing following us, we can't waste time." As the others agreed and began to follow Auron out, I felt my blood boil, and my heart beat quicken at the word "thing."
The way he said it…it was the same way Shadow had spoken to me before. I was always referred to as a bird, a disgusting creature, a thing, an "it"…I got enough of it from him, I didn't need it from anyone else. Especially my friends.
But they don't know…so it doesn't mean anything. I reasoned as I began to follow the others back out into the Calm Lands. Still, as I walked slowly behind the others...my heart had cracked and the tears stung at my eyes.
:*( Poor Cynyr. She's hurt and feels lonely.
I enjoyed writing this chapter. :) It was more calm than most of my chapters, which are usually filled with suspence and adventure. But hey, it's the Calm Lands, so why not let it live up to its name? :)
Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Please review, I'd like to hear what you think. Even if you don't have much to say, at least put a smiley face. :) - Yeah, like that.