A/N; Hello friends. And you are my friends… if you review anyway. If not well then… no – I won't say it.

Thanks to all my little sparkies like Daisy, Profmom, LTR, TWIKE, and LMC.

Characters are not mine.

Controlled Burn Chapter 21

Fan the Flame

"Bella," I heard someone whispering my name.

"Oh yes, Edward do that again," I answered in my dream.

"Bella, wake up." I heard a whisper again.

"Just like that, Edward."

"Bella, if you keep talking in your sleep, I'm not going to be able to leave," Edward said louder this time and shook my shoulders. I opened my eyes. It was barely light outside. Edward was already dressed.

"Nooooooooooooooo. I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go either, but I have to," Edward whispered and kissed my cheek.

"Let me make you breakfast," I offered.

"I can't, Bella. I need to get on the road."

I made a pouty face and climbed out of bed. I tried not to let myself wake all the way up. Maybe if I didn't wake up, it wouldn't hurt so badly. I followed Edward into the living room. He had his bag and his guitar by the door. I went into the kitchen and got the Ziploc bag of cookies that I'd made him.

"Here, I made these for you to take with you." I held out the bag to him, and he smiled warmly at me.

"I was wondering what all that baking was about." He took the bag out of my hand and set it on top of his guitar. He turned back to face me and took both of my hands in his. "Bella, thank you, for everything. This time with you has been amazing. I – I don't even want to imagine my life without you in it. I'm so in love with you."

Tears filled my eyes. I had so much to say, but the only thing I could squeak out was, "Please, don't go." I could already feel the hole that he would leave behind forming.

"Bella," he groaned, and his face looked pained. "It's temporary. Before you know it we'll be together."

"Okay," I nodded my head and did my best to believe him. "I love you," I croaked barely able to talk.

"Please, Bella, please don't cry." He reached up taking my cheeks in his palms and wiped the tear that had fallen down off my cheek with his thumb. I knew I was being too emotional. I didn't have to make this harder than it already was for either of us, but I didn't want to let him go.

I buried my head into his chest and held onto him with all my strength. He rubbed my back and tried to comfort me. I was a mess. I worried that no matter what happened we would never have a time like this again. It would never be this perfect. Life wasn't usually sunshine and daisies. It was usually rainy with occasional sunny days. Especially in Seattle.

"I've got to go," his voice cracked. I nodded and let go of him. He picked up his things, and I followed him out to his truck. He loaded it up and turned to give me one last kiss. I tried to put all the love I had for him into the kiss, but it was impossible. He rested his forehead on mine for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"We'll talk all the time. We're lucky, with technology it will be just like I'm here."

"Maybe you can strip for me on Skype," I suggested. I saw that on TV.

"Whatever you want, Bella," he chuckled.

After one more quick kiss, I watched as he got in his truck and drove away. I sat on the porch for a few minutes blinking away the tears and praying he would turn around and come back. I waited until I was sure that wasn't going to happen and went inside.

The days dragged by. I had finally tasted happiness and what it felt like to have a true companion, but now he was gone. My only consolation was his daily phone calls. He called me when he first woke up. Those were unusually early for him, like around ten his time. The poor thing wasn't used to working mornings, but he was spending long hours tweaking his songs and recording the demos. The morning phone calls usually consisted of him yawning a lot and asking what I was wearing.

He called me at night and told me about what he'd done that day. He was really pleased with how the demos were turning out. He was nervous about his meeting with the producers from the publishing company and what kind of contract they would offer him. He felt like this would be the deciding factor of whether or not he had "made it." He had an opportunity to get greater exposure and bigger royalties.

He was so excited when he talked about it. He said he could write songs anywhere, so if I got assigned overseas he could go with me. The fact that he was planning his future around us thrilled me. Every night he talked to me until I was ready to go to bed and then whispered sweet nothings about his love and devotion to me before we hung up. The only thing that could have made it any better would have been for him to be whispering those things in person.

In addition he'd been updating his blog everyday:

10.14.09

Fill Me

There's a hole in my chest where I ache for you.

I ache for your laugh, your touch, your body on mine.

There's a place in my heart you have branded

It is seared with your smile, your declaration, your kiss

There's a dream in my soul of only you.

I dream of your softness, your vows, your all.

10.18.09

I would walk 1000 miles for your kiss.

I would brave land, sea and desert for the one I miss.

The cold of winter. The heat of the day.

Why am I here when you're so far away?

(It rhymes :) I never rhyme, but I thought you might like it, dear.)

That one had me cracking up on the train on my way into work. People were looking at me like I'd lost my mind. Ugh, why was I here? Part of me just wanted to quit my job today and move to Seattle. If I didn't get the job at the newspaper, I could always work at Starbucks or an organic food store. I could just hear my mom's reaction to that one after all the money she and her husband paid for my journalism education.

10.22.09

Come softly to me and whisper forever in my ear and I'll show you always with a tender touch.

Oh dear. That one was a bit much. I wanted him here. Touching me. Now. I couldn't wait to get to Tacoma.

I was trying to control my breathing when Edward called.

"Hello?"

"What are you up to?"

"Oh nothing," I lied. I was not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his blog had me all hot and bothered.

"What about you? It's early for you to be calling."

"We took the day off today. We finished the demos, and Tanya wanted the day to listen to them and see if there is anything we need to record over."

"Oh good, you needed a day to rest."

"Yeah, but I was home long enough for Alice to corner me." He sounded frustrated.

"Oh no, what did she say?"

"That's the weird thing. She just asked how you were doing and made small talk. She didn't lecture me or meddle. I'll be honest, it freaked me out."

"Maybe she's coming around," I said as hope sparked in me.

"Well she hasn't answered your calls yet, has she?"

"No," I sighed. "I miss her."

"Not as much as I miss you."

"Oh you're good," I giggled. "You're about to ask me what I'm wearing, aren't you."

Edward let out a hearty laugh. "You know me too well."

I couldn't stop smiling, because he was right.

Later that night I was surprised to get a call from Dr. Cullen.

"Bella dear, how are you?" I recognized her voice immediately when I answered.

"Dr. Cullen! I can't believe it's you. This is a wonderful surprise!"

"Oh dear, call me grandma. You're family now."

Whoa! That was more than I was expecting, but grandma had a ring to it. "Okay, Grandma," I laughed. "I'm so glad to hear your voice."

"Listen, dear, Edward tells me you'll be in town next week, and it just so happens I'm scheduled to lecture at UW that week. I've already informed him that I will be taking the two of you to dinner, but I wanted to make sure you keep Thursday night free for me."

"Oh, of course. But well…" I paused.

"What's the matter dear? You and Edward will still have plenty of time for hanky panky. I'm an old woman. I don't stay out late."

"No! Oh my gosh, not that!" I giggled nervously. "It's just that I haven't told Alice I'm coming. She isn't speaking to me actually, and I'm worried about how she will react."

"Pish posh, Alice is a spoiled brat. I love her dearly, but really she needs to get her own life, besides I'll see her plenty. We won't tell her a thing about our secret rendezvous. It will be just like my days in the CIA."

I laughed, but I had no idea if she was joking or not. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't. "Sure, Dr. Cullen, oh I mean Grandma. I can't wait to see you then."

"Me either, dear. I can't tell you how happy I am to have a kindred spirit like you in the family. You're the best thing to happen to us since Jacob taught me to use a cell phone."

"Well, thank you," I laughed.

"Of course, now take care of yourself until I see you."

"I will, goodbye."

"Ciao," she said, and we hung up.

Edward called me in the afternoon, but I still expected him to call me that night. I waited and I waited, and finally around midnight, I called him. He didn't answer, so I left him a message, told him he could wake me up later if he wanted to talk, and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and wondered if maybe I'd turned my ringer off. Nope. Everything felt wrong as I got ready for work. Why wouldn't he call me? What if he was hurt, or dead, or in Vegas marrying a stripper?

I had difficulty focusing at work. I kept losing my train of thought while writing, and when one of my sources called me back, I couldn't remember what story I'd called them about to save my life. Noon came and went and still no call from Edward. I skipped lunch so I would be sure to hear my phone if it rang. He was probably just busy, or his phone died.

I did a terrible job on my story that day, and my editor sent it back with a big "WTF?" Ugh, he knew how I hated cussing. I barely got it fixed by the deadline. I was in a terrible mood by the time I got home. Why hadn't he called? I checked the blog. No update. By the time I went to bed that night, and I still hadn't heard from him. I cried myself to sleep. He'd obviously had second thoughts. I hoped he would at least be man enough to tell me. He probably met some beautiful girl who was sophisticated. She was probably French and blonde. I hated her. I hated him. I hated my life. How could he do this to me? Part of me knew I was being ridiculous, Edward loved me. I knew he loved me, but I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't have called.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I looked at the clock, and it was five a.m.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Are you okay? I've been worried sick."

"Edward!" I sat up quickly in bed. "What do you mean? Why haven't you called?"

"Why haven't you called?" he said sounding confused. "I texted you the night before last and told you to call me when you woke up. I was worried when you didn't call. I'm sorry this is the first time I've been free enough to call you."

"I didn't get a text. You didn't text me. Why were you too busy to call?" I decided not to ask him about the French girl.

"I did text you. Geez, I thought you changed your mind about me," Edward moaned.

"Never. I thought you changed your mind about me!" I was wide awake now.

"I'm so sorry Bella. The execs from TRP insisted I fly to LA to redo some of the tracks in their studio. I've been recording and going to meetings non-stop. I was going crazy not talking to you, but I didn't want to wake you up. As soon as I got done having dinner with the guys up here, I decided I didn't care if you were asleep. I had to talk to you."

"You finished dinner at 2 a.m.?"

"Yeah, these people are ridiculous. I hate it here."

"How long do you have to stay?" I asked. Suddenly I was worried he wouldn't be back in Seattle when I got there.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, or today I guess. These guys are pretty happy with my music. One of them, Aro, asked me where I got my inspiration, and I showed him our picture. He said he wants to meet you and nicknamed you his money maker."

"Oh my," I laughed.

"Bella," Edward said sounding more serious. "I'm glad we're okay. I would never change my mind about you."

"I know," I answered, and I really did. "I missed you."

"I missed you more," Edward said with a laugh.

"Impossible."

"Probable," he argued, and I could still hear the smile in his voice. Then he yawned.

"You're tired. Do you want me to sing you to sleep?"

"Um, no thank you?"

"Jerk," I giggled.

"You love me though."

"I love you though," I agreed. "I don't love Verizon anymore. I can't believe I didn't get your text."

"I should have just woken you up. I'm sorry."

"I should have called. I'm sorrier."

"Okay, enough of that."

We talked until Edward couldn't keep his eyes open, and I had to get ready for work. He promised to call before I went to bed that night, and I promised to think about him all day long. After that conversation, I felt really stupid for doubting him yet again and really happy that we talked. He wasn't going anywhere. My heart was starting to finally convince my head of that fact.

I kept my end of the bargain and thought about him all day. My mood was considerably better, and my editor said he was starting to think I was bipolar. I didn't mind. Nothing could get me down today. Then I got an email from Jasper.

Swan,

Is Edward there with you again? Alice was starting to accept the fact that the two of you were together, and then Edward took off telling her he had something to take care of out of town. She is mad because he didn't tell her where he was going. I tried to tell her that he's an adult and can do what he wants, but of course she didn't want to hear that. I don't care if he's there, but if you could maybe influence him to call Alice and try to talk to her, I think it would help. I just have to believe there's a better way for them to communicate.

Love, Jasper

Oh no. I didn't want Alice to get any madder. I hadn't even thought about the fact that he'd left home again. This time it wasn't my fault! I didn't want Alice blaming me.

Jasper,

He's not here, but I will talk to him and try to get him to talk to the whole family about what he's doing. It's nothing bad, I promise. I'm sorry for all the stress. Hang in there.

-Swan

Edward was going to have to tell his family about his music. They needed to know, especially if he would be able to do it as a sustainable career. I wished everything could just be simple. There was really no reason for anyone to be mad at anyone else or for Edward to hide things from his family.

That night when my phone rang, I was ready for this intervention.

"Bella, you'll never believe what happened today," he blurted out as soon I answered the phone.

"What happened?"

"They've been kind of schmoosing me since I got here. Taking me to nice restaurants and even them flying me here was strange, but now I know why. I met with the president of the company today and it turns out that TPR is a subsidiary of TwiRecords. They offered me a recording contract. They had this whole proposal lined out about how I would be the next big thing. I guess my style is popular right now, and they went on and on about my look being just right."

"Oh. Oh my gosh. Wow." I was trying to sound excited, but all I could see was my entire life crumbling before my eyes. Edward couldn't work from anywhere as a rock star. He would have tours and shows and thousands of screaming girls wanting to rip his clothes off. We wouldn't have the quiet life with the Cullens I'd imagined. I even started to hear Char's words from the restaurant. A girl like me didn't fit with a super star.

"Bella, what's wrong? You sound upset."

"Nothing, sorry. Congratulations, honey, I'm so happy for you!" And I was happy for him. I just felt sorry for myself.

"Thanks. Of course I told them no. I was just relieved they were still interested in my songs."

"Wait, you told them no? Edward, why?"

"I told you I don't want to do that. I've met some of these artists. They have no life of their own. They are pretty much ruled by their agents and their tour schedules. They have no privacy. Most of them don't even enjoy their own music. It's not for me. I'm happy with my life the way it is. Plus, I mean if we, uh, or if I have a family of my own, that's not what I want for them."

"Oh." I was pretty sure he just mentioned having kids with me. Please let me have heard him right!

"Please, tell me what's wrong? Do you think I should have done it?" Edward sounded less confident.

"No. I mean it's huge. It's a great opportunity, but you're right you would have to give up so much. If it's not worth it to you, then you just follow your instincts."

"You really think it's okay, what I did? Please be honest. If you think I should do it, I'm sure I can still change my mind."

"No! I mean, I'm relieved. I…I…is it selfish of me not to want you to do it?" I practically whispered.

"Bella, no, I don't want it. I have this vision of my future, of us, and that kind of life isn't it."

His words made me feel so good that even my pinky toe was smiling. Then I remembered – intervention.

"Edward, can I say something else? I mean I don't want to upset you or anything, but I think it would really help matters, especially with Alice, if you told your family about your songs. I just think it would ease some of the tension."

"I've been thinking about that too," he sighed. "I just wish you could be here with me when I did it. Maybe we can wait until you move…"

"I don't think it can wait. I think the sooner the better. Please, Edward, do it for me?" I tried to sound as sweet and pathetic as possible. "If they aren't happy for you, then screw 'em all. I'm proud enough for all of them."

"You're right. It doesn't really matter as much what they think now that I have you."

"Awww. So you'll tell them?"

"My mom asked me to come to a family lunch tomorrow actually. I'll see everyone then."

"Perfect. I'll be there with you in spirit. You can even put me on speaker phone if you want, well as long as you don't tell anyone. I'm scared of Alice."

We fell into easy conversation after that, and Edward said more of the mushy stuff that made my skin tingle. Before we hung up, I reminded him that I would be there in only a few short days and to call me as soon as he was finished telling his family. I didn't tell him I was secretly worried about it. I'd spent so much time convincing Edward everything would be fine that I wouldn't know how to fix it if it wasn't.

A/N: Don't worry. The next chapter Bella travels back to Seattle and hilarity ensues. Ha ha I just wanted to say hilarity ensues. What a funny phrase.

I've been trying to think of a reason you need to review like the fact that my mom is blind in one eye, but that seemed to be a bit much. WHO AM I KIDDING! She really is! PLEASE REVIEW. (Love you mom – just in case you read this.)

On another note, nominations for the Eddies and Bellies are open. You can nominate my stories – whatever, but EVEN MORE, I would love for you to nominate Profmom72's story Just This Once for the short story Eddie category. I think it was a lovely story, and I think it deserves to be recognized. Profmom is modest, so she told me I couldn't say to nominate it or I'd die, and this is all my idea – not hers, so I won't die, but I might be maimed beyond recognition if you don't go nominate her.