Carlisle paced the floor nervously until he heard Esme clear her throat from behind him. He turned and she raised an eyebrow expectantly.
"Well?" she said.
"Well, what?" Carlisle replied.
"I think you owe me an apology," she said, crossing her arms across her chest.
Carlisle shot her a look of confusion.
Esme rolled her eyes much in same manner as one of the children would. "If I recall correctly, you basically told me that I was just imagining things when I told you that I thought that I heard Bella say that she was pregnant," Esme replied. "And, obviously, my hearing is just fine."
Carlisle sighed. "I'm sorry, Es," he replied. He shook his head. "I can't believe this. What are we going to do with her?"
"Well, I took her in to have her blood work done," Esme replied. "And I'll go with her to her next doctor's appointment to make sure that everything's in order."
"But what about Renee and Charlie?" Carlisle asked. "What are we supposed to do about them? They don't even know that their daughter is pregnant."
"Well, first I think we need to find out what Bella is planning to do," Esme replied as she walked over to the couch and sat down.
"Planning to do?" Carlisle asking, raising an eyebrow uncertainly.
Esme sighed. "Carlisle, really, why are you suddenly acting so dense?"
"I'm in shock, darling," Carlisle replied, flailing his arms about. "Bella is like one of our own children. Finding out that she's pregnant is more than just a little unsettling."
Esme's expression softened and she nodded. "I understand that," she replied. "When I said what she was planning to do, I meant whether she intends to keep the baby and raise it herself or give it up for adoption," Esme explained.
"Oh," Carlisle said, shaking his head. "I should have known that. I'm just so baffled. How can you be so calm?"
"Well, I don't see any point in getting all bent out of shape or stressed about it. It's already done, so it's not as if it can be changed," Esme replied.
"But would you be so calm if this were Jessica or one of the boys' girlfriends?" Carlisle asked.
"I don't suppose so," Esme replied. "But, thankfully, that's not the situation. As you said, I love Bella like a daughter, and right now what she needs is someone to be there for her. I can't imagine the pain and confusion she's going through right now, but from my talk with her, it's pretty obvious that she's beating herself up over this."
"So, again, I say - what are we going to do?" Carlisle asked.
"I think we need to talk to Bella. We need to find out where she stands on her choices, and from there we'll take the steps needed to see this thing out," Esme explained rationally.
"And Renee and Charlie?" he asked.
"Well, we won't be getting another call from them for at least three weeks, so I think our best bet is sending them a letter," Esme replied. "We know that someone takes the mail out to them weekly, so by the time they get our letter, it should be about time for their next phone call. And hopefully, we'll be able to talk this out and do what's best for Bella," she concluded.
"Well, then I suppose we need to get Bella down here and see what she wants to do," Carlisle sighed.
Esme nodded. "I'll go up and get her," she said, standing up. She stepped out of the living room and headed up the stairs. She couldn't help but consider Carlisle's words. Would she have been so accepting and calm if it had been Jessica or one of the boys' girlfriends that were pregnant? She liked to think so, but deep down she couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that it wasn't her child who was bringing another child into the world.
She walked down the hallway to Bella's room and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Bella called. Esme opened the door and was surprised to find Jessica and Edward seated on the bed with Bella.
"Bella, Carlisle and I would like to talk to you downstairs," she said.
Bella nodded. "Okay."
"We'll be waiting in the living room," she said, giving Bella a reassuring smile.
Bella watched as Esme disappeared from the entrance before she turned to Edward and Jessica.
"Well, I guess this is the talk I've been dreading," she commented.
"Just think - the worst of it's over," Edward pointed out.
"It will be fine," Jessica reassured her.
"Thanks, you guys," Bella smiled, weakly as she gave them each a quick hug before she slid off of the bed.
She knew that Edward right. The worst was over - at least for now. She still had to tell her parents, but at least with Esme by her side, the task shouldn't be quite as grueling as it had been before.
Bella made her way down to the living room and found Esme and Carlisle seated side by side on the couch. Bella sat down in the recliner and looked at the couple uncertainly.
"Bella, we just wanted to sit down and touch base on the situation," Esme began. "I know that you're going through a lot right now, but we were just wondering if you had any idea what you wanted to do."
Bella looked down at her hands for a moment and bit her lip. She had given this a great deal of thought already. Her mind had been virtually been made up since her talk with Edward weeks before. As far as she could see, she was entirely too ill equipped to raise a child properly, so there was only one reasonable option left.
"I want to give the baby up for adoption," Bella replied softly. She glanced up to see Esme watching her with a soft expression of concern upon her face while the only way to describe Carlisle's expression was one of sheer pity. The look alone made her want to cry. She didn't want to be pitied. Part of her wanted them to be just as angry with her as she was with herself. However, she saw no look of disgusted or anger upon their faces.
"Well, if you're sure that's what you want to do," Esme began.
"I do," Bella cut in. She looked down at her hands and let out a ragged breath. "I'm not fit to be anyone's mother right now," she explained. "A baby deserves two parents that will love and take care of him or her. Right now, I can't do that."
Esme nodded simply. "Well, Carlisle and I will always be here if you change your mind," she said. "But we still have to deal with your parents."
Bella made a pained face at the mention of her parents. She was certain that they would be nowhere near as calm and collected as Esme and Carlisle when they found out the news.
"Esme and I think that the best solution since we won't be hearing from your parents for at least three weeks is for you to write them a letter. Esme and I really think that this is something that they should hear from you," Carlisle commented.
"Besides, a letter may be the easiest way for you to express how you are feeling," Esme put in. "And just remember that Carlisle and I love you, and we're here for you. And we plan to see you through this situation, so if you ever need to talk, you can come to either one of us."
"Thank you," Bella whispered.
Esme stood up and walked over to Bella and wrapped her arms around her. "Everything's going to be okay, sweetheart."
Bella didn't look so certain, but she nodded anyway. "I think I'll go work on that letter to my parents now."
"Okay," Esme nodded as Bella stood up.
Bella made her way back upstairs and stepped into her bedroom with a heavy sigh. Edward and Jessica had vacated the room while she was gone, and for that Bella was thankful. As much as she appreciated their support, she just wanted to be alone for a while.
She knew that Esme and Carlisle's idea for her to write her parents a letter was probably the best course of action, but Bella had no idea where to even begin. She walked over to her desk and grabbed a notebook and pen before she walked over and sat down on her bed. She flipped the notebook open and stared blankly at the page for a long time before she finally pressed her pen to the paper and began to write.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you'll probably be surprised to receive a letter from me, but I have something that I have to tell you. I would wait until your next phone call, but the words probably wouldn't come out right. They never do when I try to talk to you.
All my life I've tried to live up to your expectations for me. Unlike most parents, you've never been overbearing and obnoxious and tried to make me be something other than myself. I've always considered myself a perfectionist though. I see how proud you are of me when I do something well, and I guess I've always wanted to keep things that way.
But I've messed that all up. I've made a terrible mistake, and I know that you're going to be disappointed in me. You have every right to be. I'm disappointed in myself as well. I used to think that I was so smart - probably smarter than I actually am. And in thinking so, I guess I got it into my head that I was better than everyone else and nothing bad could happen to me, but I was wrong. So wrong.
I know I mentioned James from time to time though you never actually got to meet him. I cared deeply about him, and let those feelings, which I can see now were nothing more than lust, lead me down the wrong path.
There's really no simple or pretty way to say this. I'm pregnant. I've known since the day you told me about coming to stay with the Cullens. I know that I should have said something sooner, but I was scared. I still am. When I left home, the only people who knew were Angela and James. James has made it more than clear he that wants nothing to do with the baby or me. Although, I suppose that that's probably not an entirely bad thing, considering he's just bad news. That's blatantly obvious now.
Upon my arrival to Forks, I tried to keep my condition hidden, but Edward found out, and not long after I felt compelled to tell Jessica as well. The two of them convinced me that I needed to tell Esme or Carlisle, and I finally told Esme about my pregnancy this afternoon.
I'd already been to the doctor once, but Esme took me to have the blood work done. I'm supposed to go back to the doctor again in about three weeks to find out more. As of right now, my due date is January 14th. The only reasonable option I can see right now is to give the baby up for adoption. While often times I like to think of myself as being grown up, I think we all know that I'm not; otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten myself into this predicament.
I know that this is a lot to take in, and I don't blame you for being upset or disappointed in me. I just hope that you can forgive me someday. I hope your archeological dig is going well, and I will talk to in a few weeks.
Love,
Bella
Bella sat her pen down and read over her letter once again. She nodded silently to herself upon finishing. She felt like she had said everything that needed to be said, so she tore the papers out of her notebook and folded them up before she stood. She stretched her arms with a yawn before she made her way back downstairs.
She looked around for Esme for a bit before she stumbled upon Carlisle, who was working in his study.
"Hi," she smiled sheepishly.
"Hello," Carlisle smiled warmly. "Can I help you with something?"
"I was just looking for Esme," Bella replied.
"She decided to go pick up some chicken from KFC for dinner," Carlisle replied. "Did you need her for something important?"
Bella shrugged. "I just finished my letter to my parents ..."
"Oh ..." Carlisle nodded.
"I just needed an envelope," Bella replied.
"Well, that I can help with," Carlisle smiled as he turned in his chair and pulled open a drawer. He removed a long envelope and held it out for Bella. She smiled and walked over and took it from him.
"Thank you," she said.
"Was it hard for you to write?" Carlisle inquired.
Bella made a face. "Not as hard as I thought it would be," she replied after much thought.
"Well, it's always easier to say things on paper than it is out loud," he commented.
"Yeah," Bella agreed.
"We'll all get through this," Carlisle said, giving her a reassuring smile.
"I know," she nodded a little uncertainly. "Thank you ... for being so understanding."
"You're welcome," Carlisle nodded before Bella turned and headed back upstairs to address her letter to her parents.
Well that's my final chapter of the night! Hope you enjoy it and please share my story if you like it! And don't forget, review please! That's what keeps me going!