The story of Isabella Hale

by JoScarlett

Six year old Isabella Swan wakes up in a hospital after a coma and suffers from memory loss. No one knows what happened to her, including the Cullens who found her in the woods. With no one else to turn to the Cullens decide to adopt her. Awkward moments and hilarity as Bella grows up.

21. The wedding part 3 A very long day

A/N: Hi guys! ^^ I know it's been too long, again! I feel terrible for leaving you all for so long, but what can I say.. RL has been crazy! I had promised you all that this would be the actual wedding, but damn it I started writing and it became absolutely mammoth. It still is... They all really needed to deal with Edward finding out about the visions and that took a little longer to write than I had originally thought.. This chapter is a emotional rollercoaster of epic proportions and I have to say... I'm all know what Edward can be like ... he can be such a drama queen :O I do hope that this all lives up to everyone's expectations... I try. It has some pretty crazy, dramatic and intense moments, but let me just say... don't give up on Edward, or any of them. Just read it, haha. I'm already half way done with writing the actual wedding, but I'm suffering from a major writer's block. Annoying. I really want it to be all that you hoped it would be and I've got to be honest... I'm shitting myself a little and it freezes me up. So much for dealing with expectations.. Thank god all of your reviews have been absolutely wonderful. I had such a goofy grin on my face when I read each and every one of them that the back of my head hurt for days! Please, don't forget to review this chapter, because I'm nervous about this one as well. SO MUCH DRAMA! Alright, this note has been way too long already, so just enjoy and I'll see you on the other side.

Disclaimer: SM owns everything!

POV'S: Bella, Rosalie, Edward, Alice, Emmett, Carlisle.

---

31th December 1996.

Bella's POV.

I scrunched my eyes closed against the bright light of the morning and rolled over with a groan. After a few seconds I realized that my bed felt way too soft and warm. I searched my bed with my eyes still closed, patting the sheets next to me, but all I felt was softness. I frowned a little and turned my head, my eyes still closed.

'' Edward? '' I croaked, wondering where he had gone to.

I opened my eyes and searched for the rocking chair in the corner of my room that he sat in most of the time, but when my eyes focused on the object in question I realized it was empty. I sat up a little straighter and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

'' Edward? '' I croaked again, a little louder now.

It wasn't like him to leave before I had woken up. I shook my head a little to clear my head and looked at the large clock that Alice had hung on my wall a while ago. My eyes widened a little when I noticed the time. It was almost eight thirty in the morning! I had slept too long. Why hadn't any one woken me up? And more importantly, where was Edward?

I strained my ears in the hope I heard some noise from downstairs, but it was eerily quiet. I threw the covers back and hopped out of bed, stumbling a little before I managed to hold myself upright, clutching my bedpost in the process. I walked towards my bedroom door and turned the handle quietly. I didn't really know why I was being so quiet, but the silence in the rest of the house made me adapt unconsciously. I reached the top of the stairs and called again.

'' Hello? '' I called, feeling a little stupid. I never did that. Then again, I had never woken up alone before. Somehow, there was always someone in the room when I opened my eyes in the morning. Usually it was just Edward, because he stayed with me every night, but it wouldn't be long before Alice would burst in with way too much energy, shouting things about clothes and new ideas she had for my hair. It always annoyed me when she did that so early in the morning, but now that she hadn't I had to admit that I had gotten used to in over the past two years and that I missed her annoying presence in my room.

I took a small step, clutching the banisters to keep myself upright and slowly walked down the stairs. I looked around the living room, but it was completely empty. I frowned again and made my way over to the kitchen, expecting to find Esme behind the stove, cooking my breakfast, but she wasn't there. The kitchen was completely empty, just like the rest of the house it seemed.

I frowned again and looked outside through the backdoor. Maybe they were in the backyard, I thought. It was snowing and freezing cold outside, but that wouldn't matter to them. They wouldn't feel the cold like I would. I narrowed my eyes and searched for a familiar figure in the large, white backyard, but I couldn't find anything. I walked back into the living room, completely confused. Where had they all gone to?

'' Hello? '' I called, louder now. It had never been necessary before to shout, because they could always hear me a mile away due to their sensitive vampire hearing, but I really had no idea where they were.

'' Mom? '' I called again. '' Dad? '' No response whatsoever. '' Edward? ''

I walked around the living room, shouting names all the while. I stopped again at the foot of the stairs and frowned. They couldn't be upstairs, they would've heard me. Despite this knowledge I carefully walked up the stairs again. I made my way over to the library, but noticed that it was empty too. I had expected that already, but a part of me had hoped to find Jasper there, reading a book or shuffling around with papers. I closed the door again and made my way to Edward's bedroom.

I silently opened the door and looked inside, but just as the library, and the rest of the house apparently, it was empty. I took a deep breath and closed the door again.

What in the world was going on? Where had they all gone to? Had something happened? Had they forgotten me? Had they left me behind? No! I couldn't think like that. They would never do that. But what was the alternative? Had something happened after all? It seemed silly considering they were a family of vampires. Nothing bad ever happened to them. I was really starting to panic now. What was I supposed to do?

I started running through the house, opening doors on the way, but every room was indeed empty. I ran down the stairs again and my foot caught on one of the steps, causing me to fall down. I winced when my face hit the cold wooden floor, but I was too panicked to really feel the pain. I pushed myself up again and ran to the door.

They had to be outside, there was no other option. But they would have heard you, a small voice in my head argued. I ignored the annoying voice and pushed the door open. I ran outside and cursed under my breath when I noticed I hadn't put any shoes on. I looked down at my bare feet who were turning red from the cold. But I couldn't go back now to find some shoes, I had to look for my family.

Even the garden was eerily quiet. I couldn't hear anything. Not even the birds.

I ran across the yard, ignoring the increasing pain in my frozen feet, and made my way across the yard, heading for the stables. When I finally reached them I noticed that my Willow wasn't there. Nor was Jasper's horse, Midnight. Had they gone riding? They never did that. Only Jasper and I rode.

'' Hello? '' I yelled, the cold air burning on my face. I raised a hand and touched my cheek and felt the tears rolling down. It was so cold outside that they would probably freeze before they could make their way down. I started shivering violently and decided to go back to the house. Maybe they would be back now.

I started running again, but stumbled over my own feet and fell face down in the snow. My entire body ached and I didn't have the strength to get up again. I let out a wail of despair and let the tears flow without trying to hold them back. Had they really left me behind? Was I all alone now?

I looked up after a while, shivering worse then ever. My entire body felt numb from the cold. I looked back at the house and let out a scream. The house had disappeared. There was literally nothing left now. Even Esme's trees had gone, leaving only endless snow behind. What in the world was happening.

'' Bella! '' I looked around. I knew that voice! Had they come back for me after all?

'' Bella, wake up, sweetheart! ''

Wake up? Did that mean that this was just a dream? I listened to the voice and opened my eyes. I woke up with a jolt and shot upright, looking around my bedroom. It had been a dream after all. I turned my head and noticed Esme on the side of my bed. She was stroking my hair and looking down at me with troubled eyes.

'' It's okay, sweetheart, '' she soothed, pressing me against her cold chest. '' It was just a nightmare. You're safe now. ''

I leaned weakly against her chest. I wasn't even crying anymore. I was too shocked to cry. I was used to my nightmares, the lake, the vaguely familiar voices telling me to run, the feeling of being controlled by an invisible force, the screams, the red eyes, but this was something else entirely. I had never felt so hollow before. Maybe this was even worse than my usual nightmares. I wasn't running away from something, trying to safe myself. I wasn't doing anything. There was just nothing. I had never felt like this before. So lonely.

'' Are you okay now, sweetheart? '' Esme asked after a few minutes. I couldn't answer her, I just stared straight ahead. I noticed that Edward wasn't in the room anymore.

'' Bella? '' Esme asked, pulling away from me and lifting my chin up so she could look me in the eye. '' Are you okay, sweetheart? ''

I looked at her and tried to think about what she had just asked. No. No, I wasn't okay. At all. I let out a shaky breath and shook my head minutely. She smoothed my hair back again and she frowned at me.

'' What's wrong, sweetheart? It was just a dream. You're okay. ''

'' Where's Edward? '' I finally whispered in a monotone voice. I turned my head to the side and stared at the empty rocking chair in the corner of my room.

'' He went out for a little bit, '' Esme answered quietly. '' He'll be back soon. ''

I looked back at my mother and frowned a little. She still looked worried.

'' Are you sure you're okay, sweetheart? '' she asked again, trying to catch my eye.

I nodded weakly and threw the covers back. I stepped out of bed and looked around my bedroom. Esme handed me my slippers and my bathrobe without another word. I took them without looking at her and put them on before making my way to the top of the stairs. I heard the rest of my family talking and laughing and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. They were still here. All of them. Except Edward, but Esme said he would be back soon. I slowly made my way downstairs and walked into the kitchen. They were all there, smiling up at me as I entered.

'' It's about time, '' Alice said, placing her hands on her hips. '' You've been asleep for a long time. ''

I frowned at her and glanced at the clock on the microwave. Eight thirty in the morning. I shivered a little when I noticed the time, but chose to ignore it.

'' What's wrong, Bella? '' Jasper asked from across the kitchen where he sat in one of the chairs, apparently playing some sort of card game with Emmett. I only just managed to hold my eye roll. Of course he had felt my emotions, even if I tried to ignore them.

'' Nothing, '' I answered quietly, avoiding his gaze. I sat down in my usual chair and Rose immediately started fussing over my hair. She always did that.

'' Did you have another nightmare, baby? '' Rose asked, smoothing my hair back repeatedly.

'' I'm fine, '' I answered. I noticed that my voice still sounded flat. '' Where's Edward? '' I asked again, looking up at Alice. She always knew everything, so she must know where he was. Just 'out' didn't really do it for me.

'' He went for a run early this morning, '' Alice answered, frowning a little.

'' Why? '' I asked, noticing her discomfort.

'' He does that every now and then, '' Jasper answered, shrugging. '' It clears his head, he says. ''

'' He usually doesn't go at a time like this though, '' Emmett said suddenly, throwing a card on top of a pile of other cards.

'' And he usually doesn't stay away this long, '' Rose remarked, also looking at Alice now.

'' Maybe Tanya got on his nerves, '' Emmett shrugged.

'' Emmett, '' Esme said, entering the kitchen and walking over to the fridge. '' That's not a nice thing to say. ''

'' Well, I couldn't really blame him, '' he said nonchalantly. '' She was acting very strange last night. All those questions and everything. ''

'' Edward wasn't there when that happened, Emmett, '' Jasper reminded him. '' He was already upstairs with Bella. ''

'' So? '' Emmett said, throwing another card on top of the pile. '' Doesn't mean he didn't hear. ''

Jasper frowned and looked down at his cards. He suddenly froze and his eyes widened a little. '' Damn it, '' he muttered under his breath, staring at the cards without really seeing them.

'' Jasper, '' Esme chided, cracking a few eggs. '' Language. ''

But Jasper didn't react and continued to stare at his cards.

'' What? '' Rose asked impatiently after a few seconds. '' Care to share? ''

Jasper looked up slowly and locked eyes with Alice. '' Maybe he didn't just hear what Tanya said, '' he said quietly. Alice frowned at him.

'' Jazz, what do you mean? '' she asked. '' None of us said anything that would upset him. ''

'' Not out loud, '' he added, still staring at her.

'' What do you- '' Alice started to say, but stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened and she froze where she stood. '' No, '' she whispered, shaking her head weakly. '' You didn't - ''

'' I may have slipped up, '' Jasper answered, looking horrified now. '' Only a little. ''

I had no idea what this was all about, but it was obvious that something was going on here.

'' What? '' Rose suddenly exclaimed, banging her fist on the table. I almost shot out of my seat and my heart hammered against my chest. Those outbursts always took me by surprise. I looked at Rose and saw that she was glaring at Jasper now.

'' You idiot! And on my wedding day too! ''

'' I didn't do it on purpose and I didn't actually think the words, '' Jasper said defensively.

'' It was only matter of time, '' Emmett said calmly, though I could see a small frown on his forehead that indicated he was also worried. It was rare to see a worried Emmett. What in the world was going on now? This day kept getting stranger and stranger by the minute.

'' Yes, but why today of all days? '' Rose yelled, completely losing herself. I had no idea why she was reacting that way, but I knew how scary Rose could get if she got really angry. '' Jasper, you complete and utter idiot! Moron! Jackass! You- ''

'' Rose! '' Esme called, also banging her fist on the table. Everyone fell silent and Rose threw herself back in her chair, fuming. Esme looked sternly around the table, but her face was also slightly panicked. '' We don't know for sure if he has heard anything, '' Esme said, trying to remain calm.

'' What's going on here? '' I turned around and saw that Carlisle entered the kitchen. He looked around at everyone with a frown and finally rested his eyes on Esme. '' What's going on? '' he asked again.

'' Jasper is a complete idiot who has just ruined everything, including my wedding! '' Rose growled, clenching her fists again.

'' What? '' Jasper yelled back. '' You think I did this on purpose? IF that's what's going on right now. We're not even sure! So shut up for a minute! ''

'' Oh, that's rich! '' She shrieked. '' Mr. Blabbermouth himself is telling me to shut up! Can someone else see the irony in that? ''

'' I told you already, '' Jasper yelled again. '' I didn't actually say the words, so stop acting like a psycho for a minute so we can sort this out. ''

'' You're calling me a psycho? '' she shrieked again, flying out of her chair. Emmett reacted before she could reach Jasper and locked his arms around her waist.

'' Rose, calm down! '' he said, locking her in his iron grasp.

'' Let me go! '' she shouted, struggling against him. '' I'm gonna kill you! '' she yelled at Jasper. Jasper also shot out of his seat, but didn't take a step towards her. He merely towered over her and looked quite dangerous.

'' Oh yeah? '' he called back, clenching his fists.

'' ENOUGH! '' Carlisle shouted loudly, and I turned around and stared at him with wide eyes. I had never heard Carlisle shout like that before. I could see the thunder in his eyes and shrank back into my seat. If Carlisle got mad things must be really messed up right now. '' Dining room, now! '' he commanded loudly and pointed his finger to the room behind him.

No one said a word, but Jasper and Rose were still breathing heavily, glaring at each other. Emmett still had his arms around her waist and Alice and Esme looked at the scene before them with wide eyes. They were also the first to move. Carlisle remained still in the doorway, glaring at the people in front of him. I really had no idea what was going on. I didn't even know why he wanted them all to go to the dining room. They had never really used it before.

Esme walked over to me and crouched down beside me. '' Bella, sweetheart, '' she said quietly, placing both her hands on my cheeks. I looked into her eyes and saw they were etched with worry. '' I'm sorry you had to see this, '' she continued quietly. '' It's got nothing to with you and you don't have to worry. I've already made you some sandwiches. Why don't you eat them and I'll put on a movie you can watch in the meantime. ''

'' But, '' I said, trying to understand what was going on. '' Don't we all have to go to dining room? '' I asked her. Esme shook her head and smiled at me. It didn't reach her eyes though.

'' No, Bella, '' she said. '' You don't have to go. ''

'' But dad just said- '' I started to say, but she interrupted me.

'' He didn't mean you, sweetheart, '' she answered. '' This has nothing to do with you. Come on, '' she continued, lifting me out of my chair and setting me down again. '' Which movie would you like to watch? ''

I frowned at her and shook my head a little. '' Doesn't matter, '' I mumbled, looking at everyone else in the kitchen.

Carlisle was still glaring at the others and Emmett was still holding Rose. Jasper had relaxed somewhat, but was still standing in front of Rose and Emmett, though it seemed like he had taken a small step back. Alice's gaze was focused on nothing in particular. I recognized that look. She was searching the future.

'' Come on, sweetheart, '' Esme urged again, leading me out of the kitchen and into the living room. She put a movie on and grabbed my sandwiches and a glass of milk. I sat down on the couch and stared unseeingly at the screen. I couldn't possibly focus on a movie right now.

'' We'll all be back soon, okay, sweetheart? '' Esme said quietly, smoothing my hair again. I looked up at her and nodded slightly. '' We're all in the dining room, so don't worry, okay? ''

'' Okay, '' I answered quietly. She kissed the top of my head and walked out of the living room and into the dining room I supposed. The others followed behind her and Carlisle ended the line and closed the door behind him.

I let out a sigh and stared at my sandwich. What a strange day. First there was that dream that was still haunting me, though all the recent developments had pushed it into the background somewhat. Then there was the fact that Edward was absent. That had never really happened before either. He was always there when I woke up. Then there was the strange conversation they had all had, before Rose and Jasper had started screaming at each other and Carlisle had intervened. I had never seen Carlisle like that. He was usually so calm and kind. I didn't even know he could get angry like that. Something was up. Rose was really mad at Jasper because he had said something he shouldn't have said. No, not exactly. He had thought something, he shouldn't have thought. And the only person who could hear thoughts in this house was Edward, so it must have something to do with him. I took a small bite from my sandwich and chewed it absently. After a second I realized that I had somehow lost my appetite along the way.

---

Rosalie's POV.

I growled under my breath and shook with anger. I felt the electricity running through my dried-out veins and continued to glare at the back of Jasper's head all the way until we reached the dining room. What a complete and utter moron that guy was! I knew Edward had to find out sometime, but did it really have to be today! On my wedding day! Why did I always have to suffer like this?

'' Everybody, take a seat, '' Carlisle said in a calm but firm voice that demanded obedience. Everyone sat down silently and I crossed my arms over my chest. Emmett still had his hand on my back in an effort to calm me down. Jasper sat down on the other side of the table, as far away from me as possible. Smart guy. I wasn't kidding about killing him.

'' Now, '' Carlisle said after a minute, folding his hands on top of the table. '' What in the name of god is going on here? '' he looked around the table until his eyes rested on Alice.

'' Alice, '' he said, waving his hand at her. '' Care to explain? '' Alice shook her head a little and focused her eyes on Carlisle.

'' Maybe I should- '' Jasper began, but I growled at him and he shot me another glare.

'' I said Alice, '' Carlisle said in a stern voice, glaring at both me and Jasper. '' I don't want to hear a word from you two until I ask you something, understood? ''

Jasper nodded and looked back at the table again. I shot a glare a Carlisle, but I knew I wouldn't win that argument. It would only make things worse. I huffed a little, but gave him a small nod.

'' Good, '' he said, looking at Alice again. '' Alice, from the start, please, if you will. ''

'' I don't know the details yet, but, '' she began, frowning now. '' We were all in the kitchen, playing a game and talking about the coming day when Bella entered. Esme had woken her up after we had heard her scream. She must have had another nightmare. She was unusually quiet, but said she was fine. She then asked me where Edward was and I told her had he gone for a run this morning and wasn't back yet. That's when it started, I guess. ''

She frowned again, trying to fit the puzzle pieces together I presumed.

'' We all thought it was a little strange that he had gone out this morning and hadn't returned yet. He doesn't normally leave Bella. Emmett said something about Tanya being the cause because of the things she had said last night. Then Jasper said that he had been upstairs with Bella the whole time so he couldn't have known. But of course, he could have heard our conversations downstairs easily if he had been paying attention. Then Jasper remembered that he had thought certain things last night and that Edward might have heard that too. ''

I growled under my breath again, but Carlisle shot me a warning look.

'' He said he hadn't actually thought the words, but that he had slipped up. ''

'' What words? '' Carlisle asked, though he must've known the answer already.

'' About the visions, '' Alice answered, frowning again. '' But we don't really know if he has heard anything. ''

'' I see, '' Carlisle sighed, looking around the table. His eyes rested on Jasper now. '' What did you think about exactly? '' he asked after a few seconds.

'' It started with Tanya, '' Jasper began, rubbing his face with his hand. I clenched my fists under the table and Emmett continued to draw soothing circles on my back. '' I noticed her jealousy towards Bella and I thought of how much worse that would be in a few years time, '' he continued, looking down at his hands now. '' I didn't actually think the words and never really thought about the visions, but I slipped up there, I'm aware of that. ''

'' Yes, you did, you idiot! And on my wedding day too! '' I shouted, unable to hold it in any longer.

'' Rose! '' Carlisle said again, but I noticed that his voice sounded distracted now. I glared at him, but he wasn't looking at me. He looked at the table and was frowning, seemingly deep in thought.

'' I see, '' he finally said, folding his hands together once more. '' But we don't know for sure if he was actually listening, correct? ''

'' That's right, '' Alice said, her eyes drifting in and out of focus. Carlisle nodded to himself and let out a heavy sigh. '' But you all think he did? ''

'' It would explain his behavior this morning, '' Alice said, focusing her gaze on Carlisle again. Carlisle look at her for a small second and then down at his hands again. '' Well, in that case, '' he sighed, looking around the table again. '' I don't think that Jasper is the only one at fault here. ''

'' What do you mean, Carlisle? '' Esme asked, speaking for the first time. She lay her hand on top of his and looked at his face with confused eyes. Carlisle let out another sigh.

'' What I mean to say is, '' he continued. '' Is that I slipped up too last night. ''

Wait what? I glared at Carlisle again, my fists clenching and unclenching under the table.

'' What? '' I growled.

'' I was thinking about a conversation I had had with Eleazar yesterday and my thoughts sort of drifted there, '' he explained calmly. '' I was worried about Edward's reaction to the visions. We've been keeping it from him for over two years, which is a miracle in itself if you ask me. I'd never thought that it would last this long. '' He sighed again and rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. This couldn't be happening. Edward may be dense every now and then, but it seemed that Carlisle had made an even bigger slip up than Jasper. Even Edward would be able to figure things out from there.

I wanted to shout at Carlisle and throw things at him, just like I had done with Jasper, but it wasn't so easy. This was Carlisle after all. I couldn't react that way to him. He may not have been my biological father, but he was my father in all the ways that counted. Just like Esme was my mother. I couldn't talk to them that way, I just couldn't. I gritted my teeth in frustration and clenched my fists harder than ever. The anger was building up inside me, but I had no outlet now.

'' I know you're angry, Rose, '' Carlisle said, looking me in the eye. I turned my head away, afraid of losing my self-control. '' And that's okay, '' he continued calmly. '' And it's also completely understandable. The timing is indeed horrible. ''

I growled and locked my teeth together to stop the string of profanities that were dying to get out.

'' If he has heard our thoughts last night, we have to think about what to do next, '' Carlisle continued, looking around the table again. I growled again and slammed my fist on the table, causing it to crack violently.

'' Rose, '' Esme said, frowning at me.

'' You can take a time-out if you want, '' Carlisle suggested sympathetically.

'' No, '' I growled.

'' Jasper, '' Carlisle said with meaning and I knew what he was asking.

'' Don't you dare,'' I growled at Jasper now.

'' Rose, you're not in control of your anger at the moment, '' Carlisle reasoned. '' And I understand that, but it's not very helpful. We need to work towards a solution here and pointing fingers and shouting isn't going to do any good. What is done can't be undone. '' Jasper looked first at Carlisle and then at me and I felt an artificial calm wash over me. I tried to resist it, but that made Jasper only focus even harder. I growled at him again, but it wasn't as forceful as I had wanted it to be.

'' Carlisle's right, baby, '' Emmett said, his hand still caressing my back. '' Don't resist, it's better this way. '' I gradually felt myself calm down, but I knew the anger was still there.

'' Okay, '' Carlisle continued after a minute. '' Alice, can you see where Edward is now? '' Alice looked at Carlisle again and frowned once more.

'' Yes, but it's a little vague, '' she answered slowly. '' He's not far away from here, but it's impossible to predict his moves for some reason. I think he keeps changing his mind too fast for me to get a clear picture. I don't know if he does this on purpose or if he's just really confused. Both would be possible. '' Carlisle nodded again.

'' But you can see his surroundings? ''

'' Yes, '' she answered. '' He's in some sort of meadow, I think. It's surrounded by trees and covered in snow, so I don't think it's that far away from here. '' Carlisle seemed to think about this for a minute.

'' But you can't see if he's planning to leave? ''

'' No, '' she said, shaking her head. '' I've seen him do a couple of things, but before I could really see the outcome he had apparently changed his mind again and I got a new vision. ''

'' I see, '' Carlisle said quietly.

'' Do you think we should go and look for him? '' Emmett asked, his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

'' I don't really know where this place is, though, '' Alice said. '' Oh, hang on a minute. '' Her eyes drifted out of focus again and we all watched her in silence. She focused her gaze on Carlisle again after a minute.

'' I thought I had seen that place before, '' she said, nodding to herself. '' It's the meadow he takes Bella to every now and then, but I've never been there, so I still don't know where it is exactly. ''

'' We could ask Bella, '' Emmett suggested.

'' I don't know if she knows where it is either, '' Alice answered, shaking her head. '' I mean, I'm not sure if she would know the way. ''

'' Well, it would help if we know a rough position, '' Jasper suggested.

'' We could follow his trail from there, '' Emmett finished, nodding his head.

'' Perhaps, '' Alice said, thoughtful again. '' But I don't know which one of us should go. Normally I would sent you Jasper, but he may not want to talk to you at the moment given your slip up. Perhaps you'll make it worse. Same goes for Carlisle, obviously. ''

'' I could go, '' Emmett suggested, shrugging a little. Alice arched an eyebrow at him and threw him a skeptic look.

'' No offense, Emmett, '' she said, smiling a little. '' But you're not to most tactful person in this family. ''

'' So? '' he said, shrugging again. '' Maybe that's for the best now. He's so stubborn, trying to calm him down with superpowers or endless patience will probably only make it worse. ''

'' I agree, '' I said, looking up at Emmett with a small smile. '' Emmett can be calm and reasonable every now and then. Besides, he doesn't get worked up like the rest of us. And like Alice said, Carlisle or Jasper would be a very bad choice. Emmett is his big brother. I'm sure he can do it. '' Emmett smiled down at me and kissed the top of my head.

'' See, I knew I wanted to marry you for a reason. '' I laughed a little and shook my head.

'' That is if we are still getting married today. ''

'' Of course we are, '' Emmett said, looking at me with wide eyes. '' If a groom-to-be in a dress doesn't stop you from marrying me, than nothing will. ''

See, this is why I loved this goofball so much. I smiled up at him and kissed him gently for a minute.

'' I also agree, '' Esme said quietly, smiling at Emmett. '' I have faith that you can bring your brother back. ''

'' Awh, thanks, mom, '' Emmett said, pretending to be shy all of a sudden.

'' Yes, '' Carlisle said. '' I think this is our best option now. ''

'' Agreed, '' Jasper said, nodding a little.

'' Okay, '' Alice said, smiling at everyone. '' I guess that's a plan. If Bella can give us the rough location, that is. ''

'' I'm sure she can, '' Emmett said confidently. '' That little devil is smart. She'll remember. ''

I felt a little calmer and it wasn't just because of Jasper's gift. It was mainly because of Emmett. He always knew how to calm me down and make me feel better and he had done it again. Sure, I was still extremely pissed at Jasper and Carlisle for being so careless with their thoughts on my wedding day, but I believed in Emmett. I believed that he could bring Edward back and that we could all work it out somehow.

I was, of course, also worried about Bella. What if Edward would start to avoid her, or worse, leave after all. That would destroy her and she wouldn't even understand why. We couldn't tell her about the visions. She was nine years old, for crying out loud. She wouldn't understand and it would just confuse her needlessly. I hoped that Edward had more sense than that. I couldn't believe I was actually counting on Edward for something. Least of all for him to use common sense in such a situation. We all knew that wasn't his strong suit. It was precisely for that reason that we had kept that future from him in the first place.

'' Alright, '' Emmett said, clapping his hands together. '' Let's ask her. ''

We all left the dining room and entered the living room again. Bella was still on the couch, her sandwich almost completely untouched. She looked up when we entered the living room and she seemed really confused. I had behaved in such a bad way in front of her. I was her mother after all. She shouldn't have to see me like that. I felt the guilt start to make it's way up and felt another wave of calm spread over me. I shot a glare at Jasper, but he merely shrugged and shook his head a little. Perhaps he was feeling guilty as well. Well, he should be. This was his fault after all.

'' Bella, sweetheart, '' Esme said, sitting down next to her and smoothing her hair back. '' We've got a question for you. ''

Bella looked at her and frowned a little.

'' What is it? '' she whispered.

'' Do you remember the meadow that Edward takes you to every now and then? ''

'' Of course, '' Bella said, smiling now. '' It's the most beautiful place in the world. ''

Esme smiled at her and stroked her cheek with one of her fingers.

'' Do you know where it is, sweetheart? '' Bella frowned again and shook her head slowly.

'' Not really, '' she answered. '' He always stops the car at a forest and we walk from there. ''

'' Do you know where that forest is? '' Alice asked hopefully, smiling at her. Bella wrinkled her nose a little. She always did that when she was thinking really hard about something.

'' Maybe, '' she said, apparently still deep in thought. '' We always drive by my school and then the park, '' she said, counting on her fingers. '' And then there is a big lake with swans and then he stops at the forest. ''

'' Yes! '' Alice exclaimed after a second, smiling widely. We all looked at Alice again and she gave us the thumbs up.

'' You got it? '' Emmett asked.

'' Yes, it's a match, '' she confirmed. '' Do you know which forest she is talking about, Em? ''

'' Yes, I'll be able to find it. ''

'' Good, you'll be able to pick up his trail from there and you should be able to find him. ''

'' He'll still be there when I arrive? '' Emmett asked, grabbing a coat from the hanger.

'' Yes, I can't see him going anywhere yet. He keeps changing his mind. I think he's just confused. ''

'' I'll be off then, '' Emmett called, and before any of us could respond we heard the door close behind him and he was gone.

'' Where did Emmett go? '' Bella asked, looking at the place he had stood only a second before.

'' He's going to talk to Edward, '' Alice answered quickly, sitting down on the couch next to Bella.

'' Why? '' Bella asked, suspicious now.

'' Because Edward needs someone to talk to, '' Alice answered with a smile.

'' Did something happen to him? '' Bella asked, panic coloring her tone.

'' No, you don't have to worry about it, sweetheart, '' Esme soothed, smoothing Bella's hair once again. Bella didn't look completely convinced. I couldn't blame her. She had been there when the chaos had started. She had seen the way I had acted.

'' But you were all angry, '' Bella continued, frowning at all of us. '' Are you angry with Edward? ''

'' No, '' Esme answered quickly. '' Not at all. ''

'' Is he angry with you? '' she asked, narrowing her eyes at us. Could we deny that? Of course he was angry with us. Livid probably. We had kept him in the dark for over two years. I would be mad as hell I've they had done that to me. Bella really was very perceptive for a girl her age.

'' He'll be fine, sweetheart, '' Esme said, smiling at her again. That wasn't exactly an answer to her question and Bella narrowed her eyes again.

'' He is, isn't he? He's mad at you. Why? '' she looked at us all again. '' You said he heard something he shouldn't have heard, '' she continued. '' Back in the kitchen when you were all fighting. '' I avoided her gaze and looked down at my feet.

'' Mom! '' she said, a little louder. I knew she was talking to me this time and I looked up before I could help myself. '' Is he mad at you? '' she asked with wide eyes.

'' No, '' I answered, shaking my head a little. '' Not really. ''

'' He's just a little confused at the moment, Bella, '' Alice said quickly. '' That's why Emmett has gone to talk to him. They'll be back later and I'm sure everything will be okay. You know how Edward gets, '' she continued with a smile. '' He's just brooding and being Edward. It'll be fine. ''

'' Why would he be confused? '' Bella asked again, clearly not accepting our answers. '' Is it because of that thing he wasn't supposed to hear? ''

'' Yes, '' Alice answered honestly. '' He heard some of our thoughts and he wasn't supposed to hear that yet and now he's a little confused. But we'll sort it out, you'll see. '' She smiled widely at Bella and I knew that Alice meant it. She was convinced that everything would be fine. That calmed me down somewhat. I wasn't convinced that everything would be fine. I knew what Edward could be like and this was exactly what we had been trying to prevent all this time. Bella narrowed her eyes at Alice again and let out a heavy sigh after a few seconds.

'' This is a really strange day, '' she muttered, shaking her small head. I couldn't agree more. This was supposed to be my wedding day and instead of enjoying every minute of it, I now had to worry about my stupid brother and his insane reactions to a piece of information he wasn't supposed to hear yet, least of all today. And when all that was said and done, I was still getting married in a few hours. To a man in a dress! Strange didn't even begin to cover it.

'' Tell me about it, '' I muttered a little exasperated.

'' You will still get married today though, won't you? '' Bella asked me.

'' Of course, '' I answered with a smile. '' I don't want to miss my own wedding for the world. ''

Bella smiled at that and seemed to relax a little. That was at least one thing that hadn't changed and it provided some perspective. I knew how she felt.

'' Edward will be back though, won't he? '' she asked quietly after a minute. I frowned a little at her question. Why would she ask such a thing? Edward always came back to her, no matter what. Okay, granted, this was an unusual situation, but she didn't know about that.

'' Why wouldn't he, baby? '' I said, crouching down in front of her now. Bella merely shrugged and avoided my gaze now. In that moment I realized that she was hiding something from us.

'' Baby, what is it? What has got you worried? '' I grabbed her cheeks with my cold hands and lifted her face up so I could look her in the eye. Bella let out another sigh and shrugged again.

'' It's nothing, '' she mumbled, trying to look down again. '' It's stupid. ''

'' Nothing's stupid, '' I said, though I knew that that wasn't true. A lot of things were stupid, Bella just wasn't one of them. Nothing about my baby girl was stupid. '' Tell me, '' I demanded, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

'' It's just that, '' she started to say. '' I dreamed that I woke up this morning and he wasn't there. None of you were. I was all alone. It was like you had all left me behind. And I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find you. And eventually everything just disappeared. ''

I listened to her story and my frown deepened at every word that left her mouth. That sounded horrible. I had forgotten what it was like to have nightmares after decades without sleep, until Bella came into my life that is. Her frequent nightmares had brought the reality of that back into my life. I had forgotten how terrifying your mind could be when you were asleep.

'' Oh, baby, '' I said, crushing her against my chest and stroking her hair. '' You don't have to worry about that. We would never leave you behind, never. Not in a million years. I promise that you won't ever feel alone and abandoned. I would never let that happen. ''

'' But Edward is still gone, '' she said in a quiet and sad voice.

'' But he isn't gone for good, Bella, '' I reasoned with her. '' He'll be back later. He's not going to leave you either. I wouldn't let that happen. '' I spoke with a conviction that Bella wouldn't really understand, but she didn't comment on my tone.

This was exactly what we had all been afraid of from the start. That Edward would freak out and run away. That he would leave Bella and I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't particularly happy about that future, because well, she was my little girl and the thought of any man touching her filled me with a murderous rage. But this wouldn't be a one-sided thing. Bella would also love Edward. Hell, she already did. It was just different now. But he would actually make her happy. And that was all I wanted for her. I didn't know what the future held in store for all of us, including Bella, but her happiness was more important to me than anything else. And if Edward was the person to give her that happiness, I wouldn't let anyone jeopardize it. Least of all, Edward himself. I had wanted a normal human life for her and I knew that that wasn't going to happen when she and Edward would get together, but a selfish part of me was also happy that I would never have to say good-bye to her.

'' He'll be back before you know it, '' I murmured again, kissing the top of her head. I would kill him myself if he acted in a way that would make her unhappy. But I had faith in Emmett. He would bring him back. He would talk to him and make him see sense. I knew that Emmett was capable of doing that.

---

Edward's POV.

I just lay in the snow, and stared at the gray, cloudy sky without actually seeing it. The cold of the snow didn't bother me, it almost felt warm under my ice-cold skin.

I had been here for hours now, but perhaps this wasn't the best place to have come. This meadow was our place. Mine and Bella's. It didn't really help me clear my head, or maybe it did and I was too confused to notice. Was confused even the right word? It seemed much more than that.

The others must be wondering what was keeping me so long at this point. I had left the house before Bella had woken up, but she would be awake now. I had never left her before she had woken up, but I just couldn't stay in the house anymore. I needed to clear my head. The urge to run had been so overwhelming.

What was I supposed to do now? The others didn't even know that I knew now. Or maybe they did. Perhaps they had interpreted my continued absence correctly. Alice had probably seen me in this meadow if she was looking for me. Not that it would help her. She didn't know this place. Only Bella and I knew.

Bella... I had seen her a couple of hours ago, but I missed her already. That hadn't changed one bit. The only thing that had changed was that my chest was filled with an intense panic when I thought about that now. If Alice had really seen a future where Bella and I would end up together, I had to do something about that. How could it be the right thing? In what universe could I be the right person for Bella? This was insane. Why hadn't they done something about it? How long had they known?

But what could I do about it? Make her leave us? No, that was not an option. I could never do that to her. We were her family after all and she loved us. Just as we loved her. Nothing would ever be the same without her. She belonged with us. And apparently also with me.

Should I leave her? Could I leave her? Those were two very different questions and they also held a different answer. Yes, I should leave her, and no, I couldn't leave her. Not now at least.

Of course it was what I should do. It's what we all should have done when we had met her a little more than two years ago. But we hadn't been able to let her go. We hadn't been able to drag ourselves away from her, reveling in her presence. Including I. I had tried to make the others see that it would be better for her to grow up in a normal family, but, naturally, I had lost that battle. I wasn't really surprised, I had mostly been fighting with myself back then after all. And there was no way to win such a fight. I had been selfish and look what the future held for her now. As if growing up with vampires wasn't bad enough. No, she had to fall in love with one as well! Why did these things happen to such a sweet girl? She didn't deserve any of this.

My musings were suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a very familiar mind and I felt my body go rigid. How had he found me?

Hey, brother, he thought, entering the meadow slowly. Relax, it's just me, okay? Alice saw you in this place and Bella knew the rough location, so I came to find you. We've been wondering what's keeping you so long, dude. His tone was light, but I could hear the worry underneath it. I didn't answer his questions. I knew that he knew that I knew. And he was here to talk 'some sense into me. ' As the others would always put it.

It surprised me a little that Emmett had decided to come instead of Jasper or Carlisle, but I was strangely grateful that it was Emmett somehow. Maybe they had guessed that already. I wasn't necessarily angry with Jasper or Carlisle, or at least, not more than I was angry with all of them. They had all kept me in the dark for over two years. They were all equally guilty in my eyes. Emmett sat down next to me, but didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't entirely comfortable either, due to the unspoken words that hang in the air between us. I knew Emmett wanted to say a few things to me.

'' Spit it out, Emmett, '' I eventually said. My voice sounded monotonous and dull.

You heard, didn't you? I signed, but didn't turn my head to look at him. I couldn't yet. I didn't answer, but my silence was apparently all the confirmation he needed. I'm proud, you know? He continued, his mental tone lighter than before. Everyone thought I was the one who was gonna slip up, but I didn't. I've just proven that I can actually keep a secret. He sounded very pleased with himself, indeed. I guessed that this was one of the first times that Emmett wasn't the one who had given a secret away, although I had tried to get it out of him on several occasions. Granted, he had almost slipped up on those occasions and he would've told me if it hadn't been for Rose. She was very good at distracting him. Unfortunately.

But now that I knew, I didn't know if I still wanted to know. I knew why they had kept this from me, aside from the obvious reason.

Are you going to run? Emmett asked suddenly, guessing the direction of my thoughts as if I wasn't the only mind-reader in the family. I sighed again.

'' Is that what you all think? ''

Well, you do have a lousy track-record when it comes to dealing with certain pieces of information, Emmett thought. He was trying his best to be subtle, I could tell. Subtlety wasn't really Emmett's thing, though. Perhaps that was for the best. I did have the urge to run away. From everything. Maybe Emmett could drag me back. Did I want him to stop me and drag me back? Yes and no. It seemed that I was conflicted on just about everything now.

'' It would be the right thing to do, '' I finally said with a sigh.

The right thing for who? For us? For you? For Bella?

'' For Bella, of course, '' I answered almost immediately.

Are you sure about that? Because I think that she would be devastated if you left her. She wouldn't understand it either.

'' I know, '' I sighed. '' That's why I'm still here. ''

That wasn't completely true, though. It was certainly a part of it. A big part. But my other reason for still being here was much more selfish and I didn't want to say it out loud. I knew that Bella would probably be devastated if I left her, but the pain that she would feel for a while would have nothing on the pain that I would surely feel. I already had the urge to run back to her side and I hadn't even left yet. Not really at least.

She's worried about you, Emmett thought after a minute, interrupting my internal struggle. Bella, I mean, he added. She doesn't understand what's going on. She was right there when Rose completely lost it and almost burned Jasper alive. It has been a while since I saw Rose like that. This is all happening on her wedding day. I guess it was a bit too much for her.

'' Bella saw? '' I asked, turning my head around for the first time.

Yeah, Emmett sighed. Don't worry. Carlisle intervened before things could get really bad, but she was a little shaken up. Seeing your parents lose it like that must be really strange.

'' Parents? '' I asked, not missing the plural he had used. '' You mean-''

Carlisle, Emmett finished for me. He doesn't often raise his voice and get mad, you know that. But this morning must have been too much for him as well. Not that I can blame him. If he hadn't done that Rose and Jasper would've killed each other.

'' I don't blame Jasper, '' I said quietly, looking at the sky again. '' Nor Carlisle for that matter. At least, not more than I blame all of you for keeping things from me. ''

Would it have been better if we had told you two and a half years ago? I thought about that again. Don't tell me that you would've reacted differently. Maybe even worse. It was right after we had decided to adopt Bella. You were still trying to come to terms with the fact that she would be living with us. You were already freaking out. Alice thought it better to keep it a secret for the time being. You can't blame her for that either. She was just protecting both you and Bella. And the future you have together.

'' We have no future together, '' I said immediately. '' Not like that anyway. I can't let that happen. ''

Why not? It's not like you're going to force her into anything. It'll be a mutual thing. Not much you can do about it, I guess.

'' Of course, I can, '' I said, frowning up at the sky now. '' There has to be a way. You really think that this is a good thing? ''

I dunno, He thought, shaking his head a little. I was a little surprised when Alice told us, but I've had over two years to wrap my head around it. Besides, Bella will love you as well, so I guess it would make her happy. Isn't that what we all want for her?

'' How can she possibly be happy with me? '' I asked, disgusted. '' She can never have a normal future with me. I'm a vampire. ''

She's been living with vampires for over two years now, Emmett argued. She doesn't want to be anywhere else. You know that.

'' That's because she's just a little girl now, '' I said. '' Who knows what she wants in a couple of years? What if she wants a normal life. What if she wants to go to college? No, forget all that. What if she wants to have children? I can't give her any of that! ''

I could hear Emmett thinking about my questions. He didn't seem to have an answer either.

We've all thought about that, he thought after a minute. Especially Rose. She wants a normal life for Bella. Or at least, as normal as possible. But she's also afraid of losing her. Look, I don't know what the future holds. Only Alice does. I haven't seen those visions. I only know what she's told us. But it sounded like you were both happy. Bella was happy. '' I can't see how that's possible. '' She's happy now, so why wouldn't see be in a few years? I guess it'll be a little weird though. You two being together. I mean, she's my little sister after all. Then again, I'd rather it be you than some jerk-off who won't treat her right.

I thought about Emmett's words and a vision of Bella with a strange man on her arm suddenly filled my head. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. I would never let that happen either. There was no way that there was anyone good enough for my Bella. My Bella... I always thought like that, but now the words took on a different meaning. No, it wasn't like that. Not yet, a little voice inside my head countered. No, it would never be like that. I didn't want Bella to be with anyone else, but I didn't want her to be with me either. She deserved better. I didn't know what 'better' was exactly, but I knew she deserved it.

Look man, Emmett thought, interrupting my own thoughts. You know I'm not the most sensitive guy around. I rolled my eyes at that. And all this talk about making the right choices and love and whatever is not really my thing. I know you think about that a lot and you know that I don't.

That was true. Emmett wasn't the brooding type at all. He always seemed to accept situations for what they were and went with it. I envied him at some point. It would certainly make things easier every now and then, but I couldn't just turn my brain off. I wished I could at this point, but there simply wasn't a switch big enough to turn off everything I was feeling and thinking at this moment. I couldn't simply accept the future that Alice had seen. It felt wrong. Or more specifically; it felt selfish.

All I know is that there are a bunch of people back home that expect me to bring you back, he continued. And I also want to bring you back. It's my wedding day man, you can't bail on me now.

I turned my head and looked at him again. I saw him looking back at me with wide eyes.

'' It's your fault I'm getting married in a dress today, '' he added out loud with a smirk. '' The least you can do is be there to laugh at me. ''

I felt my mouth twitch at that. I wasn't in the mood to laugh, but Emmett usually had that effect on me. I had been looking forward to this day. And I knew that I couldn't miss his wedding. And I couldn't do that to Rose either. She had been looking forward to this day for a long time, despite the fact that she was marrying a man in a dress. Her wedding days were the most important days of her existence. We all knew that. It seemed a little ridiculous to me, but I knew why they were so important to Rose. She and I may have had a strained relationship from the start, but I loved her like a sister. And I knew that she would never forgive me if I missed one of her weddings. She would probably chase me into the next century with a lighter, ready to turn me into a pile of ashes.

'' Besides, '' he added, a little more serious now. '' I promised Bella I'd bring you back. She's worried about you. She really doesn't understand what's going on. She has been quiet and down all day. ''

I felt a chill creep up my spine that had nothing to do with the snow I was still lying on.

'' What do you mean? '' I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. I tried to hide my panic without much success.

'' She had another nightmare this morning, '' Emmett explained, watching my reactions. '' Esme woke her up, because you had already gone. I don't know what it was about, but she was unusually quiet when she came down. She said that everything was fine, but she's always been a terrible liar. She kept asking where you were and when you would be back. ''

I closed my eyes and took a deep and calming breath. I had never left Bella like that before. She must have been scared when she had woken up. I was always there to chase her nightmares away and I hadn't been there this time. I had let her down.

'' You can't leave her either, '' Emmett said, his eyes turning serious. '' It would kill her. And what are we supposed to say to her when you decide to run away? ''

'' Who says I'm going to run away? '' I said angrily, gritting my teeth. I wasn't angry with Emmett at the moment. I was angry with myself. Hearing that Bella had been asking for me and that she had had another nightmare without me being there infuriated me. I didn't even deserve to be in her life. I would only hurt her. I had already hurt her and let her down.

'' Then let's go home, '' Emmett said suddenly, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

'' What? '' I asked distractedly, frowning at him again.

'' If you're not planning to run away, '' Emmett clarified, shrugging. '' Then let's go home. What's keeping you here? We've still got a million things to do and I have a bride at home who's gonna kill me if I don't show up on time. And you have a little girl at home who's been worried sick about you and is probably ready to kick your ass. ''

I arched an eyebrow at that. Emmett shrugged again.

'' I would if I were her, '' he said, grinning again. '' And don't forget that Rose is also her mother. Rose would kick my ass if I would pull something like that. ''

'' Bella wouldn't do that, '' I said, shaking my head. '' She's probably just hurt and that's all my fault. ''

'' Then get your ass over there and make it up to her, '' Emmett said, slapping me hard on the back.

'' You're just trying to distract me, '' I suddenly said, glaring up at him again. '' This doesn't solve or change anything. ''

'' True, '' Emmett agreed. '' But lying in the snow, brooding and being a bore doesn't change anything either. It'll only make things worse. Look, who knows what will happen. Maybe Alice's visions are right and you and Bella end up together, and maybe you find a way to prevent that and it won't happen. Either way, moping about it doesn't change a damn thing. And if you and Bella would end up together, '' he added, thoughtful now. '' Would that really be such a bad thing? ''

'' Of course! '' I snapped, losing my temper immediately.

'' Why? ''

'' Because Bella deserves a lot better than that, '' I answered angrily.

'' Yeah, you're right, '' Emmett said calmly. '' She's way too good for you. She must be crazy to fall in love with a moody, brooding, boring vampire like you.''

'' You're hilarious, '' I snapped at him, not in the mood for his jokes. '' I'm serious! ''

'' So am I, '' He said, looking at me again. '' She certainly deserves better if you keep acting like this. '' I simply glared at him and clenched my fists together.

'' No one ever feels good enough, '' Emmett added quietly and he looked down at his feet now. I continued to glare at him but remained silent. '' Do you honestly think that I feel good enough for Rose? '' he added after a few seconds. He was still looking at his feet and started kicking at the snow. Emmett seemed a lot smaller all of a sudden and it was a little disconcerting to see him like this.

'' Because, I don't, '' he answered his own question after a minute. '' I screw up all the time and I don't even want to think about all the times I must have disappointed her. All of you may think that I don't think about things like that, but I do. I don't want to disappoint her. I want to be a man who deserves her. I want her to be proud of me and I don't want to let her down. It kills me when I do. All joking aside, I love her more than anything. ''

'' I know you do, '' I said quietly. I could feel my anger slipping away when I looked at Emmett now.

'' She's way too good for me, you know, '' he added with a small smile. '' She puts up with my stupid jokes, and the crazy bets that we make every now and then. Sure, she gets pissed, but she puts up with it. Today is another perfect example. I'm wearing a dress on my own wedding day and she still wants to marry me. ''

'' She must be crazy, '' I added with a small smile. Emmett laughed and nodded in my direction.

'' That or a saint, '' he said. '' I would say she's a saint, she would say she's crazy. ''

I smiled again and laughed a little. '' Definitely crazy. ''

'' The point is, '' Emmett continued. '' No one ever feels good enough. We always think the other person deserves better, but I think that's just because we love them so much you know? I only want the best for Rose and I know that I'm not the best. Then again, thinking of her with someone else makes me want to kill everyone who looks at her. ''

I looked at my big brother and listened to everything he was saying. I had never heard him talk like that. Emmett always wore his heart on his sleeve, but he didn't really talk like this. He usually just showed whatever he was feeling. I had always known that he loved Rose more than anything else. Despite all his childish behavior every now and then, he always showed her how much he loved her. In his own way.

'' I have always loved her, '' he continued. '' From the first moment I saw her. I was sure she was an angel, '' he said with a small laugh. '' I still think she might be. I have always known what a lucky bastard I am to have her in my life. To have her love me the way she does. I know that I would do anything for her, because she has given me the one thing that's more beautiful than anything else. Her. ''

He looked up at me again and smiled wryly.

'' And if you and Bella end up together, '' he said, grinning now. '' You would also be the luckiest bastard in the world, because that little devil is all kinds of awesome. ''

'' That sounds a little selfish, '' I whispered, unable to let go of that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

'' Sure it does, '' he agreed with a nod. '' But what can you do? Love is love, man. If she's crazy enough to love you, there's nothing you can do about it. They only thing you can do is make sure she feels just as loved and lucky as you do. ''

'' I could never make her happy, '' I said, shaking my head slowly.

'' That's bullshit, '' Emmett said, frowning at me again. '' I somehow manage to make Rose happy. Jasper makes Alice happy and Carlisle, well, he's just some sort of love genius or something, so I guess he can make Esme happy without even trying. ''

I smiled a little at that.

'' It's still different, '' I mumbled, looking at the white snow under my feet.

'' Why? '' Emmett demanded. '' Because Bella's still a little girl? She'll grow up. Sure, it's an unusual situation, but everything will work out. ''

'' It's not just that, '' I said, frowning at the fluffy snow. '' She's also human. ''

'' I was human, '' Emmett said, shrugging now. '' And Esme was human as well. That can be fixed. '' I shook my head at that.

'' No, '' I said firmly. '' I don't want that life for Bella. Besides, you and Esme were both dying. It was different. ''

'' It's not just up to you, you know, '' Emmett said. '' It's her life after all. ''

'' Exactly, '' I said, my anger returning. '' It's her life and I don't want her to throw it away! Especially not for me! ''

'' I didn't mind, you know, '' He said softly. I knew what he was talking about.

'' Rose did, '' I said, glaring at my feet now.

'' Yeah, '' I heard Emmett sigh next to me. '' Rose did. But I didn't, '' he added again. '' We always talk about the bad things, but we never talk about the good things. I don't mind being a vampire. I get to live forever with the people that I love, I can wrestle with bears! There are so many cool things about being a vampire. ''

'' You and Rose can't have children, '' I said, looking up at him again. Emmett let out a heavy sigh and I could see some sadness in his eyes. We all knew that Rose had wanted a baby more than anything. Sure, she had Bella now and she loved her like a daughter, but it wasn't the same. Not really.

'' That's true, and it has always killed me that I can't give her that, '' Emmett said, nodding slightly. '' But she has Bella now. We all have Bella now. Bella may not be her biological daughter, but that doesn't matter. She loves her like her own daughter. It may not have been in the way that she always wanted, but her dream came true the day that Bella came into our lives. ''

'' Rose also wants a human life for Bella, '' I said.

'' That's true, '' Emmett conceded. '' But she wants a lot of things for Bella. And above all, she wants her to be happy. And if you're somehow to key to her happiness then so be it. We've had a lot of time to get used to the idea already. We've all come to terms with it. ''

I opened my mouth to say something else, but Emmett interrupted me again.

'' I get that this is a shock for you, man, '' he said, nodding thoughtfully. '' I mean, it's a lot to take in. Like I said, we've all had time to get used to the idea, so you should do the same. Take your time. It's not like it's going to happen tomorrow or anything. She's only nine. You can't always fight everything. Just let things happen the way they're supposed to and enjoy the good things. ''

'' That's easier said than done, '' I mumbled again. Emmett shrugged again.

'' I find it pretty easy. Humans say that life's too short to not enjoy things to the fullest. I say eternity is too long to wallow in things. Just go with the flow.''

I shook my head and smiled a little. I definitely envied him.

'' Now get your sorry ass off the ground and go home with me before I miss my wedding, '' Emmett said with a grin. He stood up with a grunt and wiped the snow off of his clothes with a few loud slaps. He looked down at me and arched an eyebrow.

'' Well, come on, '' he urged, holding out his hand to help me up. I stared at his hand, trying to clear the mess inside my head. I had no idea how to handle this situation. I had no idea what to do...

---

Alice's POV.

I had thrown myself in one of the chairs in the living room an hour ago and I still hadn't moved. I rubbed my eyes for the hundredth time and let out a weary sigh. I wasn't physically exhausted obviously, that would be impossible, but I felt worn out never the less. That rarely happened, but this whole situation had been eating at me for months. The timing was obviously terrible, but Edward had to find out sooner or later. I made a silent promise with myself that I would book a spa weekend when all this was over.

'' Alice? '' Bella asked quietly, looking at me with her big chocolate eyes. '' When will Edward be back? ''

She had been asking me this question for the better part of three hours and I still couldn't answer properly.

'' I don't know, Bella, '' I sighed, rubbing my eyes again and leaning forward in my chair so that I could look at her properly. '' I'm sure it won't be long now. Emmett will bring him back. ''

'' What's wrong with him? '' she asked again. We had tried to be as honest as possible with her, but there was no way that we could tell her everything. She was way too young for that and she wouldn't understand. It would only confuse her. Besides, it would probably jeopardize her future with Edward and no matter what, I wasn't going to let that happen. Not in a million years. They would end up together, happy and in love, even if I had to beat some sense into Edward myself. I had seen that future and I wanted it badly. The visions hadn't changed or disappeared over the last two years, which allowed me to believe that nothing could stop them from happening. Not even Edward and his stubborn ways.

'' Edward is just being Edward, Bella, '' I answered for the millionth time. '' He's a little confused and he went out to clear his head. ''

'' But why did Emmett go after him then? '' she prompted, obviously not buying anything we had told her so far.

'' Because sometimes, '' I sighed. '' Edward can be a little stupid and he needs a good kick in the butt. ''

Bella raised her eyebrows at that and just continued to stare at me.

'' Emmett is going to hurt him? '' Bella said quietly after a minute. She frowned at me now and gritted her teeth.

'' No, of course not, '' I answered quickly, seeing the outrage on her pretty little face. '' Not an actual kick in the butt, '' I explained. Although it would certainly help, I added silently as an after thought. If Edward would freak out and do something stupid I would kick him myself. '' Edward just needed someone to talk to, so Emmett went out to go and talk to him. ''

'' Why Emmett? '' Bella asked, still frowning. I couldn't really blame her for asking that. Emmett usually wasn't the one to talk to when things got serious, but desperate times called for desperate measures. '' Because he wanted to go, '' I answered honestly. '' Don't worry about it, Bella. Emmett is also Edward's big brother. He'll know what to say to him. ''

Bella seemed to think about that for a minute. She was gnawing on her bottom lip and frowned at her feet.

'' I don't understand, '' she finally said with a frustrated sigh. '' He's mad at all of you, isn't he? What happened? ''

'' Nothing happened and he isn't necessarily mad, '' I answered. '' I've told you this already. You know how Edward can be. Sometimes he overreacts. ''

Bella didn't seem to buy that either, although she knew better than anyone that Edward could overreact sometimes.

'' Really, Bella, '' I said, trying to soothe her once again. '' You don't have to worry about anything. He'll be back before you know it. He just needed some fresh air. ''

'' Are you sure it's got nothing to do with me? '' she mumbled again.

'' Of course, why would you think that? '' I asked, trying to ignore the white lie I was feeding her. In a way I wasn't lying, because I knew what she meant. She thought he was angry with her, and that just wasn't true. The thought alone was ridiculous. But, of course, it had something to do with her, just not in the way she was worried about.

'' Because he wasn't there when I woke up, '' she answered, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her tiny hands. '' He's always there. ''

'' I know, but believe me, '' I said. '' He's not angry with you. He could never be angry with you. '' Bella nodded, but she still didn't seem convinced. I gritted my teeth and silently prayed for Emmett to hurry up. The only person who could comfort Bella at this moment was Edward. He needed to get a grip and come home already.

Rose had calmed down slightly and was currently fussing over some wedding details with Esme. Esme had taken her upstairs in order to distract her and I had to admit that I was happy about that. Carlisle and Jasper had gone to Carlisle's study and were talking about... god knows what. I hadn't been paying much attention. I had just left them to it. I needed to focus on my visions that kept changing every ten seconds it seemed and someone needed to stay with Bella, because she was obviously worried and confused as well.

Thank god Tanya and the others had gone hunting this morning. They would be back right before the wedding. It gave us some time and space to sort all this out. Bad timing indeed.

'' He'll come back right? '' Bella asked after a few minutes of silence. I looked at her again and smiled as genuinely as I could.

'' Of course, Bella, '' I answered. '' He'll always come back to you. Never doubt that. '' That wasn't a lie. I was fairly sure at this point that Edward wasn't going to run away. He seemed incapable of leaving Bella, no matter what. I couldn't exactly follow his and Emmett's conversation, but the visions weren't as jumpy as they had been, so I was convinced that Emmett had somehow talked some sense into him.

'' Can you see them? '' Bella asked after another minute of silence. I opened my eyes once more to look at her.

'' Yes and no, '' I answered with a sigh. '' I can only see the future, Bella, '' I explained. '' Not the present. It's complicated. I can see several outcomes, but they still change too quickly for me to pinpoint them. But I guess it's going well, because they aren't as jumpy as a few hours ago. ''

'' Does that mean they'll be back soon? ''

'' I hope so, '' I answered with a smile.

'' Are mom and Emmett still getting married today? '' she asked. This was another question she had asked already. I guess she just wanted to talk and distract herself. I could see the worry and confusion on her face.

'' Of course they will, '' I answered immediately. '' Do you think Rose will let anything ruin her wedding? She's been looking forward to this for a long time. '' Bella smiled at that.

'' Good, '' she whispered, her eyes once more focused on her feet. '' Where are Kate and Carmen and the others? ''

'' They're out hunting. They'll be back before the wedding. '' I smiled a little when she just mentioned Kate and Carmen. She seemed to like them a lot more than Tanya. Not that I could blame her. I had seen the way Tanya was around Bella. The jealously was as obvious as it was irritating. I suddenly heard the backdoor open en I almost jumped out of my seat. Emmett had returned. I hadn't even seen him! I was losing my touch! Or maybe Bella had distracted me a little too much.

'' Yo! '' he boomed, entering the living room with a big grin on his face. '' We're back! '' I let out a sigh of relief and rubbed my eyes again. Yes, a spa weekend it was. Edward entered after him, quiet and brooding. I could see the look on his face and I only just managed to hold my sigh. This wasn't over yet. Of course it wasn't.

'' Edward! '' Bella exclaimed, jumping up from the couch when she saw him leaning against the doorway. She ran over to him, stumbling more times than I could count and flung herself at him. Edward only just managed to catch her and she buried her face against his shoulder. She curled her arms and legs around him and held onto him as if her life depended on it. She had really missed him and had been so worried. He had never left her like that, so it was understandable.

'' Bella, '' he croaked, wrapping his arms around her so she wouldn't fall down. There was a war going on inside his head, I could see it in his eyes. I just prayed that he wouldn't do anything that would upset Bella further.

'' Why did you leave? '' she mumbled into his shoulder after a minute. He didn't answer her and looked as if he was in pain. Still, he held onto her and rubbed soothing circles on her back in an effort to calm her down.

'' I'm sorry, '' he finally managed to say. It was almost a whisper, so I wasn't sure if Bella had heard him. He suddenly looked up at me and the panic in his eyes changed into something different. Something darker. I knew what was coming. He was angry and he wanted answers. I sighed again.

Not now, Edward, I thought, keeping eye contact with him all the while. Not with Bella in the room. I understand you want answers, but just.. not right now. Edward narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at Emmett again. Emmett, oblivious as always, looked a little taken aback.

'' What? '' he said, looking at me and then at Edward again.

'' Can you show Bella what Esme and Alice have done to the garden? I'm sure she'll love it, '' Edward said with meaning. Bella looked up for the first time and frowned at him.

'' You want me to go? '' Edward looked down at her and I could see his face soften just a little bit.

'' I need to talk to Alice for a little bit, '' he explained. '' Just go with Emmett, okay? I'll be there soon. '' Bella was worrying her bottom lip again and looked more confused then ever. Edward put his thumb on her chin and pulled a little so that her teeth released her lip. '' I promise I'll be there in a minute, '' he added, clearly interpreting her worried look correctly.

'' Okay, '' she mumbled and she released her arms and legs slowly. Edward put her down again and Emmett immediately scooped her up into his arms.

'' Let's go, devil! I want to show you something else as well, '' he boomed and he ran out of the house with her before any one of us could say another word. Edward narrowed his eyes at the back door where Emmett had left through, but he didn't say anything. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence he turned his head back to me. I could see the thunder in his eyes, but was determined to stand my ground. He wasn't just mad at me, I knew that. But I was the only one who could give him the answers that he clearly wanted to have. He remained silent and just stared at me, clearly waiting for me to break the silence. I sighed after a couple of minutes and shook my head a little.

'' Edward- '' I started to say, but then he interrupted me. He held his hand up and took a few steps in my direction.

'' Don't bother apologizing, '' was all he said. I frowned a little at his words.

'' I wasn't planning on apologizing, '' I answered, keeping my voice calm and void of emotion. He arched an eyebrow at my words.

'' Excuse me? ''

'' I said, I wasn't planning on apologizing, '' I repeated calmly. Edward let out a frustrated sigh and clenched his teeth. He narrowed his eyes at me in a menacing way. It had been a while since I had seen him like this. He wasn't just angry. He was also hurt. I could see it in his eyes.

'' Hurt? '' he said quietly, picking up on my thoughts.

'' Yes, hurt, '' I said. '' You're hurt, because we didn't tell you. ''

'' I think angry would still be a better word, '' he said quietly. '' Furious might be more accurate. '' His voice was quiet, but I knew he was raging inside.

'' Don't tell me that you don't understand why we didn't tell you right away, '' I said calmly.

'' Right away? '' he asked. '' So you were planning on telling me eventually? ''

'' Of course, '' I answered, frowning at him now. '' You and I both know that it was just a matter of time before you would find out. I'm actually surprised that we managed to keep it quiet this long. ''

'' I want to know everything, '' he said, cutting to the chase. He wasn't going to scream at me for keeping things quiet. He and I both knew why I had done that. '' You're the only person who can give me all the details. So, tell me. '' His voice demanded an immediate response and this time I narrowed my eyes at him. '' Or better yet, show me, '' he added, taking another step forward.

'' I don't know if- '' I started to say, but he interrupted me again.

'' I'm done with the lies, Alice! '' he thundered, finally losing his temper.

'' What lies? I have never lied to you, '' I said, trying to stay calm.

'' No, you just neglected to tell me that Bella and I- '' he started to say, but he didn't finish his sentence. I could see the panic in his eyes again and I let out another sigh. This time I took a step forward, but he held his hand up and shook his head.

'' Just, don't- '' he croaked, clenching his eyes shut and gritting his teeth again.

'' Edward, I can show you if that's what you really want, '' I said calmly. '' But maybe this is not the best time for that. '' His eyes snapped open and he glared at me again. The panic was still there though. He almost radiated anxiety.

'' Now is as good a time as any, '' he growled at me. '' I've been kept in the dark for over two years. I want to know. ''

'' Are you sure? '' I asked quietly. He remained silent for a minute, pondering my question. He was obviously conflicted.

'' Yes, '' he finally said, calmer than before. It was almost a defeated sigh. '' It scares me to death, but yes. '' He closed his eyes again and took a few steps back until he hit the back wall. He leaned his head against the stone wall and sank to his knees. He wasn't physically exhausted, but I could see the emotional exhaustion on his face. It reflected how I felt on the inside.

I knew that his anger had gone for now, so I thought it safe to walk over to him. I let out another sigh and sat down next to him on the floor.

I'll show you, I thought, my mental voice just as exhausted as his normal one. He didn't look at me or even open his eyes, but I knew that he had heard me. I let out another sigh and closed my eyes, ready to show him the visions I had seen more than two years ago.

---

Edward's POV.

I'll show you, Alice thought wearily. I could hear the exhaustion in her mental voice. It sounded the way I felt, worn out. I didn't look at her or respond in any way. It didn't matter. We had always been good at these silent conversations. She flicked through thousands of visions at lightning speed. They flew by too fast to follow them, but I knew she was just sorting everything out for herself.

Are you sure? She asked after a minute. I didn't open my eyes, but just nodded. I wasn't one hundred percent sure, though. I didn't even know what to think. But now that I knew I couldn't pretend that I didn't. I needed to know even if I didn't want to. Alice let out another sigh and I finally saw the visions that she had been hiding from me all this time.

I saw a girl of about sixteen years old standing on a front porch somewhere, surrounded by snow. She had long, curly, dark hair that fell down her back like a chocolate river. She turned around when she heard footsteps and I could see her face for the first time. It was Bella, I could see that. I could see it in her eyes, and her mouth. Her small nose and in the way her face lit up when she turned around. A pink blush covered her cheeks and she looked down at her feet for a minute. '' Thank you for coming, '' she whispered quietly. The blush still very present.

I gasped and swallowed loudly. Bella had always been beautiful, but seeing her all grown up did funny things to my chest. She was absolutely breathtaking. She could give Rosalie a run for her money and that was saying something. I had no idea who she had been talking to, but she seemed almost shy. Before I could think too much about what I had just seen Alice bombarded me with another vision.

Bella stood in the middle of a living room, next to an enormous Christmas tree. Given the size of that thing it could only be our living room. Only Alice could decorate such gigantic Christmas trees that way. She looked absolutely beautiful, surrounded by all the twinkling lights. She was wearing a midnight blue dress that made her skin look like whipped cream. I could see the familiar blush on her face again and she smiled coyly when someone approached her. It was almost the same smile she had smiled in the previous vision. I suddenly saw myself walking towards an older looking Bella. I stopped right in front of her and looked at her in a way that made me catch my breath. She twisted a lock of her mahogany hair and shuffled her feet.

'' You look so beautiful, '' I heard myself say in a voice that was hardly recognizable. She blushed seven shades of red and looked down at her feet. I saw that I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face back up.

'' I love you, Bella, '' I whispered before leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on her full and rosy lips. Bella suddenly put her arms around my neck and kissed me back in a way that would've made my heart skip a beat had it not been dead. She pulled away after a minute and smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

'' I love you, Edward, '' she whispered back with such conviction that it was impossible not to believe her. The smile that grazed my face could have lit up Broadway. The vision flickered for a moment and then it was gone.

I could only stare unseeingly for a moment, lost for words. I felt numb and shocked all at the same time.

There you have it, Alice sighed next to me. It's clear as day, Edward. These visions have been solid as a rock for over two years now.

'' This- '' I stammered, still at a loss for words. '' This can't be... No, this is wrong, '' I said, shaking my head again. As I said the words I knew that only a part of me meant them. Yes, it was wrong because Bella deserved so much better. But there was that selfish part of me again that was almost desperate for that future to happen and that disturbed me more than anything else. She would grow up to be so beautiful. I had no doubt that a lot of boys would fall in love with her. That thought made me want to rip someone's throat out, but I couldn't focus on that now. I would deal with that later.

'' Why, Edward? '' Alice asked quietly. '' What's so wrong about it? You've seen it for yourself. You'll be so happy. And so will she. ''

'' She deserves better than this, '' I stammered, shaking my head in order to clear the chaos.

'' Better than what exactly? '' Alice asked, a hint of frustration in her voice. '' Better than someone who loves her more than anything? ''

'' Better than someone like me, '' I said, clutching my hair in my fists. '' Better than a vampire. Better than being damned for eternity. ''

'' No one is ever going to love her the way you love her, Edward, '' Alice said, her voice full of conviction now.

'' No, '' I said, standing up on wobbly legs. '' No, just- '' I shook my head again and took a few steps away from Alice.

'' So what? '' Alice asked, frowning at me now. '' You're just going to leave her? '' I stopped in my tracks and closed my eyes again. I had already decided that that wasn't an option. At least, not at this moment. I couldn't leave Bella like this. She wouldn't understand and she needed me. And to be honest, I needed her. But that was just way too selfish. I couldn't damn her to that future, I just couldn't. Sure, it would hurt her if I left her now, but it would also be what was best for her. Eventually. And besides that, she wasn't alone. She had Carlisle and Esme and Rose. And Alice. And Emmett and Jasper, of course. She had a whole family who would look after her. Maybe I should leave after all.

'' Don't even think about it, '' Alice suddenly growled. She stood up in a flash and stopped right in front of me. '' You really think that it'll change anything? Because it won't. Even if you leave now, that future is set. ''

'' The future isn't set in stone, Alice, '' I growled back, feeling my anger bubbling to the surface again. '' Things change. You know that as well as I do. People's decisions change the future. ''

'' But this decision won't change the future, '' Alice argued, glaring at me now. '' Falling in love isn't a decision, Edward. It fate. ''

'' But I can decide to walk away, '' I said, glaring back at her. '' If I'm not around her she can't fall in love with me. She'll forget about me and- ''

'' And what? '' Alice almost shouted at me. '' Do you honestly believe that she could ever forget about you? And what about you? Can you forget about her? ''

'' I don't care about myself! '' I thundered, feeling the anger and panic rise in my chest.

'' Well, you should! '' Alice yelled back. '' And you didn't answer the question. Do you honestly believe that Bella could ever forget you? It'll break her heart if you leave her. ''

'' She'll get over it after a while, '' I said, turning my head from Alice. '' She's only nine years old. And she's human. Things change everyday. ''

'' Some things don't, '' Alice countered, the annoyance clear in her voice.

I didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't want to think anymore. I just wanted to feel numb. For the first time in who knows how many years, I wished I were able to sleep. To just be able to feel nothing for a few blissful hours. To just shut my eyes and forget about everything. To stop thinking for just a while. I turned around and walked away from Alice without looking back. I knew that she was still talking to me, but I didn't want to talk anymore. I just wanted to be alone. I walked up the stairs and closed my bedroom door behind me with a sigh.

I had known for a long time that life wasn't fair, but this... Yes, I should leave her. No, I couldn't leave her. I was back at square one. Or maybe I had never left, I wasn't sure at the moment. Right now, I couldn't leave Bella. That wasn't the best thing for her. But things had to change. I couldn't let that future happen, no matter how it had made me feel. It seemed that, for now, there was only one option. I couldn't leave now, so I wouldn't do that. But I just had to create some distance between Bella and I, no matter how much it might hurt me.

---

Emmett's POV.

'' Where the hell have you been all this time? '' Rose growled at me when I entered our bedroom, whistling as I went.

I had shown Bella the garden and everything that Esme and Alice had done to make our day special. And, even better than that, I had convinced Bella to help me out with a few pranks. It had been very easy to convince her actually. It had certainly cheered her up. She had been down all day and I didn't want to see her like that.

'' Edward's back, '' was my genius response to her question.

'' Oh, thank god, '' Esme said in relief, putting her hand on her chest. '' I knew you could do it, sweetheart. '' She smiled up at me and I grinned back at her.

'' I always have some tricks up my sleeve, '' I said, rubbing my hands together.

'' Where is he? '' Esme asked with a smile. She walked over to me and put her hand on my cheek in a motherly gesture.

'' In his room, I think, '' I said with a frown. '' He wanted to talk to Alice when we came home, so I took Bella out for a while. When we came back Alice said he had gone upstairs, so... ''

'' How is he doing? '' Esme asked, concern clear in her voice. I shrugged a little.

'' He didn't run away, so I guess it's alright. He was freaking out when I found him, but I had expected that. He's confused and doesn't really know what to do I guess. ''

'' Poor Edward, '' Esme sighed, clearly worried about the whole situation.

'' Poor Edward? '' Rose grumbled. '' Poor Edward? '' her voice rose with every syllable. '' This is my wedding day for god's sake and it's poor Edward? ''

'' Rose, '' Esme said with a disapproving look on her face. '' I know that the timing isn't great, but this must have come as a shock to him. Have some compassion. ''

Rose huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. '' Whatever, '' she grumbled, and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

'' What's so funny? '' she snapped at me. She threw me a look that would have any sane being running in the opposite direction, but I had gotten used to it over the years. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

'' Don't be like that, Rosie, '' I said softly, kissing her on the cheek. '' I'm a nervous bride already. '' She rolled her eyes at that, but didn't respond.

'' Where's Bella? '' Esme asked after a minute.

'' She's downstairs with Alice, '' I answered, shaking Rose a little to make her smile again. '' She wanted to go to Edward, but Alice said that he needed a minute. I think Bella is about ready to kick his ass at this point, '' I added with a snicker.

'' Well, maybe she should, '' Rose grumbled again. '' Or maybe I should do it for her. If that idiot does something to hurt her, I'll kill him! ''

'' Now, now, Rose, '' Esme said, shaking her head. '' Edward just needs some time to wrap his head around everything. I'm sure it'll be fine eventually. He's still here, right? ''

'' Yeah, well, I wouldn't put it past him to do something stupid, '' Rose grumbled again. '' It's in his DNA. '' I laughed at that and gave Rose another kiss on her cheek.

'' Come on, sunshine, '' I said with a grin. '' We have to get ready. Alice will be up in a moment and she has two brides to attend to, so we'd better get started. '' Rose rolled her eyes again, but turned around and started collecting a lot of stuff I didn't recognize.

'' I'll go downstairs and stay with Bella for now, '' Esme said with a smile and left the room.

---

'' Alice, what the hell is that? '' I asked with disbelieving eyes when she entered the room an hour later with a suitcase that could have sunk the titanic.

'' My beautification kit, '' she shrugged, dragging the enormous suitcase over the threshold of her bedroom. Rose was getting ready in our bedroom and we weren't allowed to see each other yet. Completely ridiculous if you asked me, but Alice had almost chewed my head off when I had tried to enter the bedroom. She may be a small thing, but she was vicious when it came down to it.

'' Who says I need it? '' I laughed.

'' I do, '' she answered almost immediately. '' Let's transform you into a blushing bride, sweetie. '' I barked out a booming laugh at that and shook my head at her.

'' Bring it, '' I said loudly, dropping in one of the chairs she had placed in front of a mirror. When Alice was halfway done with my nails we heard Bella knock on Edward's bedroom door. Alice frowned at me and I simply shrugged.

'' Edward, open the door! '' she shouted, banging on the wood again.

'' Wasn't Esme supposed to stay with her? '' I asked Alice with an arched eyebrow.

'' Yeah, '' she answered, still frowning. '' I don't know what's going on. ''

'' Edward! '' Bella shouted again. It was very unlike Edward to ignore Bella like that. For one wild moment I thought that Edward had left after all, but then I heard the loud blaring of rock music.

'' EDWARD! '' Bella screamed at the top of her lungs. Who knew that the little devil could make so much noise? I bet even the horses had heard her scream. I stood up and walked into the hallway, followed closely by Alice. I saw Bella standing in front of Edward's bedroom door with tears rolling down her cheeks and an expression that make me halt in my tracks. I had never seen her look so angry before. Rose also appeared in the hallway, glaring at Edward's bedroom door as well.

'' What the hell is he playing at? '' she snapped, marching over to Bella. She gave a loud bang on his bedroom door and growled loudly.

'' Edward, you idiot, turn down that noise and open the damned door before I kick it down! '' I snorted into the back of my hand. Edward was clearly on a suicide mission if he didn't open the door soon. Alice and I walked over to Rose and Bella and watched as Edward opened the door. He glared at Rose and towered over her in a menacing way. If I hadn't known that Rose could take care of herself I might have stepped in.

'' Go away! '' he shouted and was about to slam the door shut again when Rose put her hand on it and pushed it back open.

'' What the hell are you playing at? '' she shouted back at him. '' Bella has been knocking on your door for minutes! ''

'' I noticed, '' he growled back at her, ignoring Bella altogether. Bella had taken a step back and looked at Edward as if she was seeing him properly for the first time. Her eyes were once again filled with tears and she looked devastated.

'' Are you mad at me? '' she asked quietly, trembling a little. Edward ignored her question and continued to glare at Rose.

'' Don't threaten to kick my door in ever again or- '' he growled in her face, but Rose interrupted him.

'' Or what? '' she yelled back at him. Edward just continued to growl at her, but didn't answer her question. '' Or what? '' she yelled again, taking a step forward. Their chests were almost touching and I was almost afraid of what was going to happen next. Edward had a horrible temper when he was in a mood, but I doubted he could intimidate Rose.

'' What's going on here? '' I turned around and saw Carlisle and Jasper coming up the stairs and entering the hallway.

'' How many fights do I have to break up today? '' he said angrily, stepping closer to Edward and Rose. '' What's wrong with all of you? And in front of Bella no less! '' Edward and Rose just continued to glare at each other and didn't look up at Carlisle. Carlisle stepped closer to them and put his hand on Edward's chest, pushing him back a little. He did the same with Rose's shoulder.

'' Enough! '' he said loudly. '' Rose take a step back! '' Rose turned her head and glared at Carlisle now.

'' Excuse me? '' She growled with disbelieving eyes. '' I'm not the one who's in the wrong here, Carlisle! He behaving like a complete idiot and a- ''

'' I don't care! '' Carlisle said loudly, pointing his finger to indicate that she should take a step back. Rose did so with a loud grumble and clenched her fists. Carlisle then turned back to Edward and gave him a disapproving look.

'' What is going on, Edward? '' he asked, trying to remain calm despite his anger. Edward didn't answer and was still glaring at Rose who was growling back at him.

'' Edward! '' Carlisle said a little louder now. '' Look at me! '' After a few seconds Edward let out a loud huff and turned his head towards Carlisle. '' What's going on, son? '' he asked again.

'' Nothing, '' Edward growled through gritted teeth. '' Just leave me alone! ''

'' Edward, '' Bella said quietly, her eyes still full of tears that had begun to spill over. He didn't even look at her.

'' She's talking to you! '' Rose shouted again, unable to stop herself despite Carlisle's warnings. I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

'' Rose, calm down, '' I said quietly, rubbing the tops of her arms in a soothing manner. I looked up at Edward again and gave him a disbelieving shake of my head. What the hell was he doing? Bella took a few steps forward and stopped in front of Edward. Edward just continued to glare at Rose and completely ignored the little girl in front of him.

'' Edward, '' Bella said quietly again, sniffing a little. Still no reaction. Carlisle looked down at Bella with a pained expression and then back at Edward again.

'' Edward, what are you- '' Carlisle started to say, but then Edward turned around to glare at him again.

'' Leave. Me. Alone, '' he growled again. He took a few steps back and was about to close his door again when Bella suddenly stumbled forward and threw herself into the doorway.

'' Edward, look at me! '' she yelled again, her anger returning. Her face was red and tear stained and she threw her arms out to stop him from slamming the door. He halted his actions, but didn't look at her. We all looked at him with disbelieving eyes. What the hell was he doing? How could he ignore Bella like that? She was practically throwing herself at him. He had never done anything like that before.

'' Look at me! '' she yelled again. She was breathing loudly and shook with anger and sadness.

'' Look at me, look at me, look at me! '' She yelled, flying forward and slapping him against his legs and stomach. She clutched his shirt in her fists and shook him violently. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He looked as if he were in pain, though it couldn't have been from Bella's slaps. She could hit him as hard as she wanted, it wouldn't hurt him. It would hurt her, though if she wasn't careful.

'' Bella, don't, '' Carlisle said, taking a step forward. '' You'll hurt yourself. '' But Bella wasn't listening. She was clutching Edward's shirt as if her life depended on it and she cried like she had never cried before.

I couldn't take it any longer. I didn't want to see Bella like this. I didn't know what Edward thought he was doing, but this wasn't going anywhere.

'' Bella, '' I said, walking towards her. '' Come on, devil, '' I said, lifting her up when I reached her.

'' NO! '' she screamed, clutching Edward's shirt even harder. Her knuckles had turned white from the effort it took to hold onto him. He still wasn't looking at her. I grabbed her hand and pried her fingers away from his shirt. I lifted her up, turned around and walked out of Edward's bedroom without another word. She kept screaming and yelling for Edward, but I knew that he wasn't going to listen to her now. This shouldn't be happening. Bella was beside herself. I had never seen her like that. She kept screaming and screaming and had started hitting me on the back.

'' Bella, don't, '' I said calmly. '' You'll hurt yourself. ''

'' I don't care! '' She yelled, completely hysterical. '' I want Edward! EDWARD! Edward, come back to me! '' I snapped my eyes shut for a minute and took a deep breath. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I wanted to turn around and slap some sense into Edward myself, but I knew that that wouldn't help at the moment. Whatever was going on in his head right now, he wouldn't listen to anyone, or anything.

I closed Bella's bedroom door behind me and walked over to her bed where I sat down with her still in my arms. She was wailing and kicking at me, but I just held onto her. After a few minutes she stopped kicking me and threw her arms around my neck. She buried her face against my shoulder and cried loudly.

'' Edward, '' she sobbed, holding me tightly. '' Why? '' I didn't know what to say to her, so I just rubbed her back in soothing circles and waited for her to calm down a little. She just needed to get it out. Being married to Rose for so many years had taught me to just stay calm in situations like these.

I heard Bella's bedroom door open and saw Jasper entering with a pained look on his face. He walked over to us and sat down on the bed next to me. He didn't say anything, but I felt what he was doing. I let out a deep sigh and felt Bella relax slightly in my arms. She was still sobbing, but it wasn't as hysterical anymore.

'' Why? '' she sobbed again after a few minutes.

'' Bella, look at me, '' Jasper said calmly, touching her shoulder with the tips of his fingers. Bella turned her head and looked at him with red eyes. '' It's not your fault, Bella, '' Jasper said calmly. '' You haven't done anything wrong. ''

'' Why is he mad at me? '' she sobbed, sniffing loudly.

'' He isn't, '' Jasper answered quickly. '' He's just a little tired and confused. ''

'' Why? Why didn't he look at me? ''

'' He needs a little time, '' Jasper said quietly, rubbing her red cheek with the back of his index finger. '' He'll come around. He just wants to be alone for a while. ''

'' Why? '' Bella asked again, new tears forming in her eyes. Jasper looked up at me and let out another sigh. We had always known that this was going to suck. I thought that I had talked some sense into him this afternoon, but apparently I had been wrong. Edward has always been unpredictable, but I really thought that I had gotten through to him.

'' He'll come around, Bella, '' Jasper said after a few seconds. '' Trust me. '' Bella buried her face against my shoulder again and I could feel her body shake with tears. Jasper and I decided to just stay here for a while and sit with her.

---

Carlisle's POV

I watched as Emmett picked a screaming Bella up and left the room without another word. She continued to scream and kick at him, but he walked away calmly and closed her bedroom door. I looked at Edward with incredulous eyes. What in the world had gotten into him? I had never seem him like that. He had never ignored Bella like this.

'' Edward, '' I said quietly, shaking my head in order to clear it. '' What in the world do you think you're doing? ''

Alice grabbed Rose by the shoulders and dragged her away before she would actually kill Edward. Her face was murderous.

'' Come on, Rose, '' Alice said quietly, pulling her elbow. '' Let's get you ready. '' Rose glared at Edward like she had never done before, but allowed Alice to drag her away. I turned back to Edward who still hadn't answered my question.

'' Edward, '' I said again, taking another step forward. He turned around without another word and walked into his bedroom. He stopped in the middle of the room and didn't move for a few seconds. He suddenly let out an almighty roar, grabbed a chair and threw it out the window, shattering it into a million pieces. He growled louder than I had heard in years and his shoulders shook violently. He then sunk to his knees and grabbed his hair with so much force I thought he was going to pull it out at the roots. Before I could do more than gasp Esme appeared in the doorway with wide eyes.

'' What in the world is going on here? '' she gasped, looking at the shattered window before looking at Edward who was still on the floor, shaking violently.

'' Edward! '' she gasped, rushing over to him and kneeling down beside him. '' Sweetheart, what is wrong? '' She grabbed his shoulders, but before she could fully put her arms around him he flinched away again.

'' No, no, don't- '' he gasped, crouching on the floor like a wounded animal. He was trembling all over and continued to pull his hair.

'' Sweetheart, what's the matter? '' Esme asked, panic clear in her voice.

'' No, no, no... '' Edward continued to mumble, barely coherent. If he had still been human I would've said that he was having a panic attack, but that was physically impossible. However, a mental breakdown would still be possible technically. He looked as if he was being burned alive and pulled apart all at the same time.

'' Edward, sweetheart, you're scaring me, '' Esme said, her voice breaking twice. I walked over to them and crouched on Edward's other side. We needed to calm him down right now.

'' Edward, '' I said in as calm a voice as I could muster. '' Son, look at me, please. '' I put my hands on his face and turned his head, forcing him to look at me. I swallowed the gasp that was threatening to come out when I noticed the panicked look in his eyes. I held his face in my hands and forced him to make eye contact with me.

'' Edward, look at me and breathe, '' I said calmly. He didn't technically need to breathe, but that's what I told humans who were having a panic attack, so it was worth a try.

'' Son, look at me and listen to my voice, '' I continued calmly. '' Focus on my voice and breathe. '' He looked at me, but I could see that he was miles away. '' It's okay, son, '' I continued calmly. Esme reached out and started rubbing his back in an affectionate and calming way. '' Everything's okay, '' I continued softly. '' Just focus on your breathing and on my voice. Can you feel Esme's hand on your back? '' Edward continued to tremble and his breathing was still erratic.

'' It's okay, son, '' I repeated. '' Just focus on my voice and Esme's hand. Eveything is going to be okay. We're here with you. It okay. '' Little by little his eyes focused on me again and his breathing calmed down.

'' That's it, son, '' I encouraged. '' You're doing great. You'll be okay. ''

'' I- '' he stammered after another ten minutes. '' I-I h-hurt her, '' he whispered, the pain still prevalent in his eyes. The tears would've been rolling over his face if such a thing hadn't been impossible.

'' Who, sweetheart? '' Esme asked quietly, still rubbing soothing circles on his back. I knew who he was talking about of course.

'' B-Bell- '' he stammered again. He started trembling again and I forced him to focus on me once more.

'' It's okay, Edward, '' I said in a calming voice. '' Calm down. We'll sort everything out. Don't worry. Just try to stay calm. ''

'' I hurt her! '' he groaned, clutching his hair again. I grabbed his hands and pulled them down before he could actually rip his hair out. I held his hands firmly in my own and took a deep breath.

'' She's fine, Edward, '' I said soothingly. '' She's with Emmett and Jasper. ''

'' She hit me, '' he gasped again. '' She hit me and got hurt! ''

'' She didn't get hurt, son, '' I repeated again. '' She's fine, trust me. '' Esme looked up at me with wide eyes.

'' What happened just now? '' she asked softly.

'' I hurt her! '' Edward said again, a little louder now. Esme looked at him for a minute before her panic filled eyes focused on me again.

I shook my head a little and said softly: '' She's fine, sweetheart. A little shaken up, but she isn't hurt. Not physically at least. ''

'' Sweetheart, what happened? '' Esme asked again, grabbing Edward's face in her hands. He turned his head to her and looked at her with wide eyes.

'' Mom? '' he whispered, as if he had only just fully realized that she was sitting next to him. He suddenly flung his arms around her and buried his face against her neck. She gasped and looked at me with panicked eyes before wrapping her arms around his trembling body and hugging him to her. I had never seen Edward like this. He was usually calm and in control. Sure, he had a temper and it flared up every now and then, but I had never seen him look so desolate and full of pain and panic. I had never seen him so out of control. Esme held him close to her and started rubbing his back again in an attempt to calm him down.

'' Shh, '' she said quietly. '' It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. Everything is going to be okay. ''

'' Mom, '' he stammered again. The way he was clinging onto Esme reminded me of a little boy who was in desperate need of some love and reassurance. All of our children saw us as their parents, but they were adults. We didn't need to tell them bedtime stories and soothe them when they had scraped a knee. We didn't need to raise them and reassure them. Only Bella. She was the exception. She was just a little human girl. I had never seen one of our children so out of control. Esme had always been fantastic at calming them all down and soothing them if something went wrong, but it had never been like this. Not even with Rose and she had had some pretty dramatic moments.

'' Mom, it hurts, '' he stammered again. Esme hugged him closer to her chest and closed her eyes for a moment.

'' Where does it hurt, sweetheart? '' she asked softly, as if she were speaking to a six year old. '' Tell me where it hurts and I'll make it better. ''

'' Everywhere, '' he whispered, trembling again. '' I hurt her, mom. I hurt her and now- now- ''

'' Bella's fine, sweetheart, '' Esme said, kissing the top of his head that was buried against her shoulder.

'' No, she isn't, '' he whispered. '' She was screaming and crying. She hit me. Oh god, she hit me. ''

'' Why did she do that, sweetheart? '' Esme asked calmly.

'' Because- '' Edward whispered softly. '' Because I hurt her. '' Esme looked up at me again with questioning eyes.

'' I don't know everything, '' I explained softly. '' Edward and Rose were fighting when Jasper and I arrived. Bella was crying and Edward refused to look at her or talk to her. I don't know why. Bella started screaming at him and hit him in an attempt to catch his attention. Eventually Emmett picked her up and walked away before things could get worse. ''

'' Why didn't you talk to her, Edward? '' Esme asked softly.

'' Because- '' he stammered again, shaking his head a little. '' Because I don't deserve her. '' Esme frowned down at him for a moment before realization dawned on her.

'' Is this because of Alice's visions? '' she asked calmly. Edward groaned again and tightened his grip around her.

'' I don't want it, '' he mumbled, his voice breaking mid sentence.

'' You don't want that future? '' Esme asked again, still rubbing his back in an attempt to keep him somewhat calm.

'' No, '' he whispered with a shake of his head.

'' Why not, sweetheart? ''

'' Because she, she deserves... '' He didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. I closed my eyes and shook my head a little. This is what I had been afraid of. Not this reaction in particular, because I had never seen Edward like this in all the years that I had known him. But I knew Edward better than he would probably dare to admit. I knew how he saw himself and what we are. This reaction somehow didn't surprise me at all.

'' Sweetheart, no one loves Bella more than you do, '' Esme said calmly.

'' Don't- '' he choked, shaking his head again. '' I'm selfish! I should leave her. ''

'' That would be selfish, '' Esme said, frowning a little. '' Do you honestly think that she knows how to go on without you? Do you honestly think you can go on without her? Look at you, '' she added, rubbing his back again. '' I've never seen you like this and that's just because you ignored her for a few minutes. ''

'' I don't want to hurt her, '' he whispered again. '' But I will if all of that ever happens. I'll ruin her whole life. ''

'' Of course not, '' Esme reacted immediately. '' What makes you think that? ''

'' She's human, '' he mumbled. '' I'm not. I'll ruin her life. I don't want this life for her. I don't. Don't tell me you want this life for her? '' Esme remained silent for a few seconds. We had all thought about that of course. If Edward and Bella would fall in love that future seemed almost inevitable. I didn't necessarily want that life for her either, but what else was there?

'' I don't think you should worry about that now, sweetheart, '' Esme answered softly, frowning again. '' Bella doesn't know about any of this. She's way too young. Alice's visions are years away. ''

'' Doesn't matter! '' he said, a little more firmly now. '' You know as well as I do that she's doomed if I fall in love with her. I can't fall in love with her. I can't! ''

'' Sweetheart, we don't choose who we fall in love with, '' Esme said calmly, trying to reason with him. '' And we can't fight it either. ''

'' I can! '' he said. He pulled back slightly so that he could look at her. '' I want to fight it. ''

'' Is that why you ignored her just now? '' Esme asked quietly. I saw the pain on Edward's face when Esme asked him and he closed his eyes in an effort to calm himself.

'' Edward, sweetheart, '' Esme sighed. '' This isn't the way. You'll not only hurt Bella, but yourself as well. It's unnecessary. ''

'' Unnecessary? '' he asked incredulously. '' How can you say that? I'll hurt her worse if I don't. ''

'' That's not true, '' Esme said, frowning at him now. '' Please, '' she sighed. '' Don't do this. Don't do this to her and don't do this to yourself. You may think that you don't deserve her, but I know that you do. And she deserves someone as special as you. ''

Edward started to shake his head, but Esme interrupted him. She pointed her finger at him and gave him a stern, no-nonsense look.

'' If you pull something like that again, I will kick your ass for her, '' she said. Edward's eyes widened at her words, but he remained silent. '' She needs you and you obviously need her, or you wouldn't have reacted the way you did. The future be damned. We live in the now and right now there is a girl on the other side of the hallway who's in tears, because you hurt her and she doesn't understand why. So I suggest that you pull yourself together and go over to her and grovel for forgiveness or so help me god. ''

'' But, I c- '' Edward started to say, but Esme interrupted him again.

'' No, '' she said firmly. '' No buts or I can't do that or whatever else you were thinking of saying. I understand that this must have come as a shock to you and I will do all I can to help you deal with it, but there is no way that Bella is going to suffer because of this. I won't allow it. ''

'' I- '' Edward whispered, but he didn't even finish his sentence. He wasn't going to contradict Esme, no matter what.

'' I. Won't. Allow. It, '' she repeated slowly, but firmly. '' That's my daughter in there, Edward. And you're my son. I love you both more than I can say, but I will slap some sense into if you don't pull yourself together right now. ''

He looked at her again and sighed in defeat.

'' Go over there and apologize to her, '' Esme said firmly, pointing her finger in the direction of Bella's bedroom.

'' Emmett and Jasper are probably still with her, '' Edward mumbled, clearing his throat a few times in embarrassment.

'' Then they'll drop her off in this room, I don't care, '' Esme answered, standing up again. She put her hand under Edward's arm and lifted him to his feet.

'' You're going to talk to her and do whatever it takes to make this right. Then, I want you all to get ready, because we have a wedding in a few hours. This day has already been crazy enough. Rose is probably tearing the furniture apart as well and as if that's not enough, we also have guests! '' Edward looked up and suddenly threw his arms around her again.

'' I'm sorry, mom, '' he whispered. '' And I'm also sorry about the window. I'll fix it. ''

'' That's alright, '' Esme said, a little softer now. '' I'd rather you'd fix the situation with Bella. I don't really care about a window at this moment. We can fix that one later. It's only glass. ''

Edward nodded again and squeezed her for a minute before letting her go. He turned around and looked at me for the first time in an hour.

'' I'm sorry, '' he said quietly to me as well. I threw my arms around him and clapped him firmly on the back.

'' It's alright, son, '' I said with a smile. '' You'll do the right thing. You always do. Even if your mother needs to slap some sense into you first. ''

Edward laughed a little, but it sounded weak.

'' I'll make sure they drop Bella off, '' Esme said, walking towards to door. She turned around again when she reached it.

'' Fix it. '' she said firmly before turning around again.

'' I'm a horrible person, '' Edward mumbled, frowning at his shoes.

'' No, you're not, '' I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. '' You're a very good person, Edward. That's why you did it. It just wasn't the right way. Don't worry about it and just talk to her. I'm sure everything will work out. ''

'' I'm scared, '' he admitted quietly.

'' You'd be a fool if you weren't, '' I said with a smile. '' Everyone gets scared every now and then, Edward. Especially when we have no control over a situation. But trying to control the uncontrollable only makes us feel powerless and more scared. We're all here for you. And as you have just seen, we won't let you do anything stupid. Not now, not in the future, not ever. Because that's what a family does. We're there for each other no matter what. And we love each other no matter what. And if there is one person on this planet who is strong enough to handle this it's you. I believe you, Edward. Always. ''

---

Bella's POV

'' Bella? ''

'' Yes? '' I asked, looking up from the floor where I had been playing a silly game with Emmett. He had wanted to play a game in order to distract me. I had to admit, he had taken my mind off everything that had happened. Even if it was just for a little while.

'' Edward wants to talk to you, '' Jasper said quietly, giving me a small smile. I felt my heart skip a beat and I swallowed loudly. Jasper must have sensed my fear because the next moment I felt myself relax again.

'' He's not angry with you, Bella, '' he said again, calm as always. I nodded, but I wasn't entirely convinced. I had never seen him act like that. He had never ignored me like he had done today.

'' Come on, '' Jasper said, standing up from his place on the edge of my bed.

'' What? '' I asked, confused.

'' We'll bring you to him, '' Jasper answered with a smile. Emmett stood up from his place on the floor and lifted me into his arms. I was getting a little big for that, but Emmett was such a huge monster that he probably didn't notice.

'' Come on, devil, '' he said with a grin. '' Let's get it over with and after that... '' he wiggled his eyebrows in such a way that I couldn't help but smile at him. '' I'll put on a fancy dress, get married to the woman of my dreams and you and I are going to blow some life into this party. '' I giggled at his enthusiasm. Emmett always knew how to make me feel better. Sure, he was a little silly sometimes, but that's what I loved about him. And today, he had been the only one to act calmly and rationally. Who would've thought? Emmett pulled a funny face at me that made me laugh out loud as he walked across the hallway towards Edward's room.

He knocked on the door and I took a few deep breaths in order to calm myself. I had never felt this nervous and strange around Edward before. Usually he was the only one who could calm me down. Everything seemed out of control and backwards today.

'' Come in, '' I heard Edward say quietly after a few seconds. Emmett opened the door and leaned against the doorway with me still in his arms. I looked around the room and saw Edward standing in front of the window. He was facing away from us and it took me a few seconds to realize that the glass in the window had shattered. I had heard him scream a while ago and I thought that I had heard the shattering of glass, but I thought it had been my imagination. I guess he had really thrown something out of the window. Edward never threw with stuff. It was usually Emmett who did things like that. Especially when he had lost a game.

Emmett put me down again and gave me a reassuring smile.

'' I'll see you in a bit, devil, '' he said with a wink. He and Jasper turned around again and left before I could say another word. I turned around again and saw that Edward was looking at me now. He looked as if he were in pain and I immediately felt my chest tighten. I wasn't scared of him. I had never been scared of him, but I had to admit that he had scared me a little today. I had never seen him like that before. But looking at him now, I only wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him and let him tell me that everything was okay.

'' Bella, '' he croaked softly. I just continued to look at him. I didn't really know what to do. The last time I had walked to him he had ignored me as if I wasn't even there. As if I didn't even exist.

'' Bella, I'm so sorry, '' he said again. He sounded tired and sad. I bit my lip when I felt the tears sting at the back of my eyes again. I had cried enough for a whole year today. I didn't want to start crying again, but I felt them spill over anyway. I took in a staggered breath and sniffed a few times. Edward took a step in my direction, but then seemed to remember himself and stopped dead in his tracks. I just wanted him to hold me. I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I didn't understand anything. At that realization I let out a loud sob and put my face in my hands to hide the tears that were now rolling over my cheeks. The next thing I knew I was being lifted from the ground and I felt a pair of cold, strong arms around my waist.

'' Bella, please don't cry, '' I heard Edward say. '' I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. '' I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and held onto him like I had never done before.

'' I'm so sorry I hurt you, Bella, '' he said again, holding me close and kissing the top of my head repeatedly. '' So, so sorry. '' I could hear his voice break and he trembled a little. It sounded like he was crying, but I knew that he couldn't. Vampires couldn't really cry, but I knew that if he could have cried that he would've. That only made me cry harder. I didn't want him to be in pain. No matter how stupid he had been, I didn't want him to be sad. I somehow managed to tighten my grip around him and buried my face against his shoulder, sobbing loudly. I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

'' I'm so sorry, Bella, '' he whispered again. I could feel his arms around me, holding me tight. If his grip on me had been to tight, I didn't notice. I was just so relieved that he was talking to me again. This day had been the weirdest day of my life. The dream, the fighting over breakfast, Carlisle exploding and yelling, Edward who had run away, Edward who ignored me and now this. It was too much for one day. I felt exhausted and we still had a wedding to go to!

Edward walked over to his couch and sat down with me still in his arms. He kissed the top of my head again and I slowly felt myself relax against him. I took a few deep breaths and allowed his wonderful scent to calm me down. Despite everything, no one could calm me down like Edward could. He kept apologizing over and over, but I had already forgiven him. I just wanted to understand.

'' What's happening today? '' I whispered after a while, wiping the tears off my face with trembling hands. '' I don't understand anything. ''

'' I know, Bella, '' Edward said softly, cradling my face in his hands. He turned my head a little so he could look at me. '' I don't really understand it either. It's been a long and strange day. ''

'' Why were you mad at me? '' I sniffed, rubbing my eyes again to wipe away a few stray tears. I looked into his eyes and saw the pain in them. I bit my lip again and forced the tears back.

'' I wasn't mad at you, Bella, '' he said softly after a few seconds of silence. '' I could never be mad at you and I'm so sorry for hurting you. '' I shook my head a little.

'' I just don't understand, '' I muttered, looking down at my sweater. I once again pulled on the sleeves and hit my hands in them. '' Why did you ignore me? '' Edward let out a deep sigh and looked down as well. He almost seemed tired.

'' I never should have done that, '' he whispered. It was almost too low for me to hear. Almost. '' I was angry with myself. And confused. And I- '' He took another deep breath and looked up at me again. I had never seen such sadness in such beautiful eyes. Before I could stop myself I placed my hands on his cheeks in an attempt to make the pain go away. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. '' I'm just so very, very sorry, Bella. ''

'' I know, '' I whispered, trying to soothe him a little. I had never seen him so sad. '' I'm sorry too. '' He opened his eyes again and frowned a little.

'' For what? ''

'' For hitting you, '' I mumbled quietly. I looked down again and felt the heat in my cheeks. '' I shouldn't have done that. I don't want to hurt you either. ''

'' That doesn't hurt me, Bella, '' he said, shaking his head. '' But please don't do that again, I don't want you to hurt yourself. And don't be sorry for being angry with me. I deserved it. I was horrible to you. '' I shrugged a little and continued to look down. After a few seconds he lifted my head again and pulled my lip out from between my teeth. I hadn't even realized I had been biting it again.

'' It's okay, '' I said quietly.

'' No, it's not, '' he said firmly. '' It was definitely not okay. You didn't deserve that. And please just know that I wasn't angry with you and that I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me. '' I looked into his eyes again and saw nothing but sadness and remorse.

'' Of course I forgive you, '' I said, placing my hands on his cheeks again. '' Please don't be sad. ''

'' I don't deserve you, you know, '' he said quietly. It was so soft that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it.

'' Why would you say that? '' I whispered.

'' Because it's the truth, '' he sighed. '' You're so special and I'm just a- '' I slapped one of the hands that was resting on his cheek against his face and glared at him. His eyes widened a little and he stared at me.

'' Don't say monster! '' I growled, gritting my teeth. '' I told you not to say that. It's not true and I don't want to hear stuff like that. Because if you say that again I will hit you. ''

'' You'll only hurt yourself, '' he sighed with a shake of his head.

'' Fine, I'll ask Emmett to hit you, '' I amended. '' He's stronger than you. '' Edward smiled a little at that despite himself.

'' If I'll ever hurt you again, I'll let him, '' he said.

'' Then don't hurt me again, '' I said, smiling at him now. '' You're my best friend, right? Best friends don't hurt each other. They love each other. '' Edward closed his eyes again and he seemed to be in pain. '' You're still my best friend, right? '' I added quietly, suddenly unsure.

'' If you still want me as your best friend, '' he mumbled.

'' I'll always want you as my best friend, '' I said immediately. '' Forever. ''

'' Forever is a- '' he started to say, but I interrupted him again.

'' A long time, I know. You've told me that before. '' He merely nodded. '' Do you still want me as a best friend? '' I asked after a few seconds of silence. He looked into my eyes for a long time without saying a word. I started to panic a little when he still hadn't answered after a minute. '' Edward? '' I whispered, trying to remain calm despite the growing fear inside my chest.

'' Yes, '' he finally said, still looking at me in that funny way. '' I can't live without you. '' He sounded almost sad when he said that, but before I could ask him what that was about he smiled at me. It wasn't my favorite crooked smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

'' Did you eat something already? '' He asked suddenly, changing the subject out of nowhere. He sounded a little more like his usual self. Overprotective and worried about silly things. It usually annoyed me, but not today. I had never been more happy to see an overprotective Edward, because for one terrifying moment I thought that I had lost him.

'' Yes, Emmett ordered a pizza, '' I said with a grin. This would probably aggravate him, but everyone else had been busy fighting and talking and Emmett wanted to distract me from all the drama.

'' Was it a good pizza? '' he asked, taking me by surprise. I laughed at that.

'' You betcha, '' I answered with a toothy grin. And for the first time that day he laughed. A genuine laugh.

'' You didn't take a nap though, did you? '' he added after a few minutes. I rolled my eyes at that.

'' I wasn't really in the mood for sleeping, '' I answered with a huff.

'' Are you in the mood now? '' he asked with a smile. '' I wouldn't want you to miss anything tonight. ''

'' Only if you promise that you'll stay with me, '' I said, suddenly remembering my dream. I felt a shiver run up my spine and pulled a face. Not a great time to be thinking about that. It had just been a dream after all.

'' I promise, '' he said fervently. '' I won't leave you again. '' The look in his eyes made me believe that he was speaking the truth. He picked me up and walked back to my bedroom, kissing the top of my head every now and then. I really felt exhausted and the wedding was still a few hours away. I realized that I could definitely use some sleep. I didn't want to disappoint Emmett after all. He had promised me that we were going to have a lot of fun.

---

Phew! That was quite the chapter... Like I said, a lot of drama, but I think we all knew that was going to happen. He didn't run away though, thank god. I couldn't do that. I didn't seem likely to me. And his plan of creating some distance between him and Bella wasn't that much of a success either... Will this be the last of it? Of course not. He'll still freak out every now and then .. especially when she gets older.. oooh.. But I wanted him to really, reallly, really freak out. I wanted things to go crazy for a minute, so that he could see that leaving Bella in any way is not an option. Edward is so stubborn, he needed to lose it for a minute. Ah well, we all need to lose it every now and then. That's the only way to find our way back! :-) Please let me know what you all think, because like I said before I'm really nervous about all this. Aargh! I'm writing the wedding as we speak and I promise I'll update it as soon as I'm finished. I know you are all dying to see Emmett in a wedding dress. It's the next chapter I promise, because I've already written the first part.. so this time it's for real. Anyways, leave me love, or hate, or whatever you feel like. Just let me know. I'll see you all very soon this time. We can't wait any longer!

TTFN! X