Chapter 20

"You got me assigned to that case?" he asked shocked, turning back around.

"Yes, I was also a part of the team that fished Christian Vega out of the Lake. We were to recruit him, like Evangeline and Jared but, Carlo double crossed us and hid him on that ship," Kaitlin told him.

"You were working with Carlo Hesser? This is….none of this can be true," John shook his head.

"Well….yes, until then. We work with a lot of….undesirables, so to speak," she answered, "I did everything in my power to make sure you two ended up together."

"Like what?! Are you saying that you planned my life for me?" John asked her, every time he didn't think he couldn't be any more shocked by what she was saying, she said something that shocked him even more.

"I wouldn't say that I 'planned your life' for you John but…..I wanted you with her, she's who you should be with. You complement each other. They way she looks at you and the way I know she makes you feel ," she told him firmly and decisively, hoping he would understand.

"What other aspects of my life have you interfered in?" John demanded, was any of his life his he thought.

"Interfered? It wasn't like that John-" she started.

"Then what was it like?" He interrupted her .

She was losing patience with him, "I didn't make you fall in love with her, I didn't make her give you a second chance after you lied to her about Christian Vega and I didn't make you give her a second chance after the paternity issue…that was all you and her. But, I did request you be assigned to the Vegas case and I was involved in the search for her when she was kidnapped by Potter. In fact I was right there at the well and you…..never even saw me," she said sadly, even though it was the right thing at the time, she couldn't help but be hurt at the memory of it, "You only had eyes for her. I was trying to take care of you," she told him.

"Take care of me? By hand picking your replacement?" John scoffed angrily.

"Are you saying…..that you don't love her?" Kaitlin asked snidely, cocking her head to the side.

John was silent for a moment. Did he love her? No question, he thought. It went all the way back to the day they met. He thought back on everyday they ever spent together, moments in time flashing through his mind.

"You're Natalie?"

"Yeah, why?"

"…you cooking something? I-is th-…don't even tell me that's macaroni and cheese."

"I picked up a box on my way up here….want some?"

"How long of a night were you planning?"

"All of it."

"What I wanted to tell you was….what I wanted to tell you was…..I love you."

"Are you gonna take your shot?"

"Right now."

"I'm pregnant…well…say something."

"I need a drink"

"Are you coming home later?

"Coming home?"

"Yeah home."

"Yeah….home"

"A girl"

"Just like your dream"

"Just like my dream"

"Looks like we missed one"

"Where did that come from?"

"Santa left it"

"There's no tag, how do we know who it's for?"

"It's for you."

Did he love her for any other reason than for who she was? , "no, I love her more than….life itself."

"Then….what is the problem with me being there for you? I was at the airport. When you tried to stop her from going to London. And I told you, I've seen the way you look at her. So why would you dredge up our past and put your marriage in jeopardy just to yell at me? Are you leaving her for me? Are you going to fake your death and come work for us? You would be an amazing asset, that's true. There is no denying that and by the way….you were a target once but, I exchanged you for someone else," she told him.

Memories flooded his mind, "my accident," he said, it wasn't a question.

"I was at your funeral John, I saw her greave for you. She was….devastated isn't even a strong enough word. I couldn't take you away from her. You need her more than you've ever needed me. You need each other," she said pausing before she said more.

"Hugh Hughes has been a wonderful colleague and a pretty good friend. We've gotten….pretty close in the last few years. He has decided that when his time with us is up. He's headed to Asia. He visited there once on an assignment and decided that was where he wanted to live for a while…..I'm….I'm thinking of joining him there," she paused letting the details she reviled sink in,

John sat on the couch with his head in his hands while Kaitlin stood there awkwardly. Both were silent for a moment.

"John," she said gently, "if there is anything you want to say to me….you need to say it now. We won't be seeing each other again."

"Were you behind her accident?" John asked, he was starting to suspect it was true to get him home.

Kaitlin took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, "no John, I would never allow that to happen. It was truly a drunk driver that ran a red light. I believe Natalie's uncle will be here later in the morning to tell you that."

John nodded and stood up, placing his hands on his hips he turned toward her. "I don't have anything else to say," he told her softly, looking at her one last time. He could feel the tears at the backs of his eyes.

She smiled at him and opened her mouth to speak when he felt a tugging behind him on his shirt tail. Only one of his children did that. He turned around to see Laney standing behind him. Her red curls in her blue eyes as she looked up at him. He picked her up and placed her on his hip, her head instantly finding the space between his neck and shoulder, and placed her thumb in her mouth.

"Laney?" He heard Natalie say in a panic from the kitchen, "Laney?" She appeared in the doorway holding Sean before he could say anything.

"Oh….I'm sorry, she got away from me," Natalie said to no one in particular but to the room in general, not making eye contact with anyone.

"It's ok Natalie, I think we are done here," Kaitlin said kindly as Natalie made her way to John's side, "you have an absolutely beautiful family Natalie,"

"Oh…uhm, thank you," Natalie said nervously. Not really sure what had been taking place in their living room. She wasn't sure what to say or how to act. How does one address their husbands back-from-the-dead fiancé?

"I hope you both realize how bless you are to have all that you do. A lot of people envy you," She told them both, John nodded once but didn't reply.

"Dad!" came a shout from the stairs.

Both John and Natalie turned around to see Liam bounding down the stairs toward them.

"Hey buddy," John said kneeling down on one knee to greet his son, setting Laney on her feet next to him.

Except Liam ran to his mother, "what are you doing here?" He asked John hesitantly, Natalie put a hand on Liam's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

John looked up automatically to Natalie, she was usually that was better with words when it came to the kids. Natalie looked back at him intently, she had no intention of helping him with this. He sighed and tried to come up with the right words.

"I missed you so much, you and your brother and your sister. I had something I had to take care of but, that is over now. I won't be leaving you like that again, I promise-"

"John!" Natalie hissed quietly, "I don't think you should be making any promises-"

"I'm not leaving Natalie," John said sternly, "never again….not like this."

Natalie looked away from him wishing what he said was true, that he could make a promise like that and mean it. John looked back at Liam wanting nothing more than to hold him, he held a hand out to his son who immediately took it and ran into John's arms. He held him tightly feeling the prickling of tears behind his eyes.

"I have so much to tell you," Liam pulled away and started as if no time had passed between them, "mom signed me up for soccer and Dillion is on my team. Uncle Mike is our coach and…" Liam went on and on and John hung onto every word.

Natalie remembered that they weren't alone and turned to back to Kaitlin, not sure what to say or do but, finding the front door wide open and Kaitlin nowhere to be seen. She walked slowly to the door, looking out before she closed it but, not seeing any sign of a person or a vehicle. It was as if she vanished into thin air.

When she turned back around expecting John to be interested in what she saw when she looked outside but, he hadn't moved. Natalie didn't know if he hadn't noticed that Kaitlin had left or if he didn't care.

She watched as he sat down on the floor, Laney immediately sitting on his lap but, he never took his eyes off Liam. He was listening intently to their son go on and on about all he had missed in the last few months.