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[BITTERSWEET CATASTROPHE]

chapter twenty-one

desperate measures

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"Takenouchi-san? Why do think our company should hire you?"

It's a common, frequent question that is often asked when one attends these type of interviews. And because it's tediously common, I produce a bland smile at the panel. I reckon my smile doesn't look genuine enough, because I'm disinterested. It's not like I want to be here. I'm happy enough working for Taeko; so applying for all these jobs is headache-inducing.

"I'm always eager and willing to learn new things. I work well under pressure and adapt easily."

Bullshit, Sora.

Regardless of it all, I keep on speaking, "I believe that communication is essential for your employees because Daichi Tech is a major telecommunication company. I'm a team player and my old manager praised me for my communication skills, which is an attribute that I will utilise to help the company grow..."

Anxiously smoothing my skirt, I wipe away the sweat from the palms of my hands. I hate bragging, but it's something that needs to be done when you're desperate. You need to look confident. I had my fair shares of interviews in the past, and sometimes you've got to bluff a little to make it.

Interviews never sit well with me. It usually is because of my nerves, but this time it's different. I really don't want to leave the jewellery store. I'm being forced out of the position that I had learned to love. I've gone back a step and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

The panel consists of three middle-aged businessmen. They're all staring at me, judging me my appearance and it is darn irritating.

One man is lecherous (I had seen him countlessly casting looks at my legs - to the point that I almost feel naked from his gaze), the middle man isn't impressed or too excited to be here, whereas the last man is leering at me dismissively. The latter man had been nodding to the other male applicant next to me, but as soon as they had focused on me his interest had plummeted. What a sexist prick.

Said prick prattles, "And why is that you have you had many jobs over the years? How can we give you a contract if you're always shifting from one job to another? From your resumé, it is shown that the longest you've stayed at one job has been nineteen months, with the shortest period being four weeks."

I refrain from rolling my eyes. Stay cool, Sora. Stay cool. I say to myself.

The prick is clearly being unfair because I'm a female. It's not something I tolerate. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

I calmly reason back, "From these various jobs, I have gained a copious amount of experience and knowledge. I don't take it as a fault or something negative because I have learnt so much from these previous workplaces. Since I've worked in many different fields, I've learnt that communication is the main key to any company or business' success. Therefore, it's only fitting that I had thought of myself as a worthy candidate to be considered working at Daichi Tech, as your company is known for its communicating technology."

The lecherous one nods in approval. The middle one also seems pleased, lips curving upwards as he vigorously scribbles into a notepad. But, of course, the sexist prick isn't moved my words.

He challenges me more, clearly attempting to get under my skin. "What happens when you get pregnant? Will you remain a valuable employee to the team? Or will you quit and stay at home to look after the children-"

"I don't see what this has got to do with me?" I say, tone turning bitter. My blood is boiling. I'd rather be unemployed at this rate. This prick is being a complete asshole. "We're talking about my strong and weak points and I think it is invalid and inappropriate of you to bring up me getting pregnant."

He retorts, "But there is a possibility-"

"Right now I am not married. I don't have a partner and I certainly do not plan on having a baby any time soon," I glower. I've had enough.

Kicking my seat back, I stand up and make my way for the exit. I'd rather not deal with this; especially when I have a lot going on as it is...

"Miss Takenouchi! Where are you going?"

I slam the door, excusing myself out of the interview room. A line of applicants are sitting along the hallway, gawking at me. "If I were you, I wouldn't bother applying here."

Once out of the building, I stretch my hands up to the sky, bending my back slightly backwards and exhaling a deep sigh. Dark clouds form, billowing over the city. At least the grey, ominous sky is relating to my mood right now. It must be a sign from the Gods that this interview I had attended had been a waste of my time.

Just like yesterday, when I had applied for a different company and the day before that one too.

In other words, these past three days of consecutive interviews have been tormenting my soul. I had been prepared for each one, but I had found ways to blow each individual one of them...and this latest one, I actually walked out of it.

I blame it on the shitty week I've been having, which had all begun when Sebastian had shown up at my door step. And fast forward to now, four days later, and I've already screwed up three employment opportunities all thanks to me and my own silliness of not being able to focus. Can you blame me?

Because my ex had turned up out of the blue, I hadn't been able to focus.

In fact, I hadn't known what to do with myself. My total amount of sleeping hours has rapidly declined (thank God for foundation), I've been restless, irritated, frustrated and not the slightest bit motivated. Takao had given me permission to leave during the work day for the interviews despite me wanting to be at her side more. I would have rather her tell me that I couldn't go. Let's just say I'm still kind of salty that she is selling the store. In a way, I feel like she's betraying me, even though everything literally is out of our hands now.

As if fate wanted to add to my drama, my phone rings.

Yamato?

I immediately cringe when I see the flashing name.

My thumb hovers over the screen, but I don't swipe to answer the call. And, just like I've been doing to practically everybody for this week, I ignore him and let the call ring out.

A pang of guilt hits me, but I'm really not in the right state of mind to face him; or to even go on a date with him now that I've been preoccupied with Sebastian on my mind.

And maybe that's my problem.

After what I had done to Sebastian; I had made an oath to myself not to fall in love or be in a relationship, because I didn't want everything to ache again. And, right now, Yamato's been treading in my waters and I don't know what to make of it and what to do with him...

If you don't want to go to the French restaurant I suggested, perhaps we can tone it down and go to somewhere more casual? Somewhere with burgers and chips. What do you say? - Yamato

That had been the latest text Yamato he had sent me, prior to me ignoring his other messages. Because of Sebastian, I haven't felt like talking to anybody at all and it didn't feel right for me to message Yamato. Not yet, not now…

It's not just Yamato.

I, personally, haven't been able to face anybody properly because I lacked the energy and purpose to. Sure, I'd read my messages and answer phone calls for interviews...but nothing further than that. My parents are the only people I've been sending brief messages to. Miyako's sent me a ton of "Are you OK? I'm sorry!" texts, Mimi's still in honeymoon mode with Taichi to even bother checking in on me too. In a way, it's a good thing because she never was in the loop about Sebastian. Minus Miyako; nobody was.

And now he's here…

Acknowledging that Sebastian is somewhere in my own country, roaming the Tokyo streets is really eating me up inside. I had once promised him that I'd tour him around my hometown. Thinking about him now is even worse because, when I had said goodbye to him, after the meet-up and discussion at the cafe, I recall him telling me that he'd be leaving Japan tomorrow.

Him leaving...that mere thought doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't feel right because I don't like how we left things. I had tried to ignore it, but with each day that passed I've been feeling the urge to see him.

Which is why I absentmindedly find myself at Miyako's apartment. Although it's in the middle of the weekday, I know that there's still a chance that Miyako could be home. Nursing shift work is always changing and unpredictable. Even to this day, I can't seem to get my head around how Miyako does it.

I ring the doorbell.

After a minute or so, I'm about to leave until I hear a crash and other sounds coming from inside the apartment. The door opens and I see my friend wrapped in a towel, scowling at me. She's barefooted, and her hair is noticeably damp.

Miyako bristles at me, "Out of all times and places, it has to be now?"

Behind her, I spot Jyou. He raises a hand in greeting, face pink and flustered. "Hey Sora."

I foolishly say, "Am I interrupting something?"

Of course I am. Miyako looks like she wants to murder me on the spot and Jyou can't even look me in the eye. I resist the urge to smirk. Jyou already easily gets embarrassed enough, so I try to hold back my amusement.

Jyou stammers, "N-No! It's nothing. I'll get going."

He almost trips over his own feet as he pulls on a blazer, slips his feet into a pair of leather shoes. Jyou gives me a brief bow before snatching his briefcase and rushing awkwardly out of the door.

When my friend's boyfriend disappears from sight, Miyako's hands fall on her hips. She still has them on her hips as I welcome myself inside the house. I see a fresh pot of tea. I reach for the cabinet on my tiptoes, pulling out a mug and pouring some tea for myself.

"Want some too?" I offer, nonchalantly.

From across me, Miyako blinks. I can feel her impending wrath. She narrows her eyes at me, slamming her hands against the kitchen bench.

She seethes at me, "Sora, I messaged and called you and did...everything. Yet, you didn't use any initiative to contact me back! If I hadn't driven past the jewellery store to see that you were alive, I would have called the police by now. What is wrong with you?!"

"Why did you give Sebastian my address?" I quip back, folding my arms and putting it back onto her. If she wants to get into a fighting match, so be it. But she needs to know that she's also wrong in this scenario.

I mean, what right did Miyako have to give Sebastian my address? Why has she still been contacting him? It looks a whole lot suspicious if you ask me…

Miyako explains, "Sebastian was still on my FaceBook. He only contacted me recently when he told me that he'd be visiting Japan."

"That doesn't mean that you can simply tell him where I live!" I exclaim. "Why, Miyako. Why?"

"I don't know. Sebastian's a nice guy, Sora. I thought that maybe, maybe you'd want to talk to him. I didn't want you to regret it, and not getting to see him especially when he'd be in the same country. You haven't had closure and-"

"It's not about that," I mutter to her. "You can't decide for me what I want to do. Miyako, you're one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean you get to make the decision for me…"

"As one of your best friends, I happen to know you," Miyako remarks. "You were never the same when you came back, Sora. Honey, you were damaged. Although you hadn't told Mimi or Hikari, even they noticed the change. They knew something happened in Spain, and assumed as much without me even needing to tell them."

"It was something that should have stayed in Spain. If there's no future between Seb and I, why should I bring it up to the girls?" I question her, even though I'm also questioning myself.

Miyako sighs. "Well, it's obviously bothering you. You not talking to anybody for days isn't healthy. Sora, you can't act like what Sebastian and you had was nothing."

"I never said that," I deny. "He's my ex-fiancee, Miyako! Of course this is bothering me!"

"Then if you know why you're acting this way, why are you here?" Miyako asks me. "Do you want to have a go at me because you're feeling confused? Is that it-"

"No." I shake my head. My gaze drops down to the steaming liquid in the mug. "I...I actually want you to give me Seb's number."

Miyako points out, "But you just said that you had no future with him."

"Since I might never get the chance to, I want to see him before he goes. Take him around before he leaves back to Spain. It's the least I can do for Sebastian," I state.

"You really are crazy," Miyako gapes. Nevertheless, she supplies me with Sebastian's number, jotting his digits down onto a post-it. "You're not thinking about getting back with him…"

"No."

"Good."

"Why?" I query, uncertain by Miyako's reply.

Miyako shrugs. "Sebastian isn't the only guy you've driven mad, Sora. Yamato's told me he's been trying to get a hold of you these past few days too. I had to give him an excuse that you caught the flu."

"Thanks."

"I feel like all these favours that I'm doing for you will eventually weigh me down," Miyako mutters, stifling a yawn. "You even stole some of my precious Jyou-time."

"Sorry," I apologise, feeling guilty. Miyako's been there for me in more ways I can say.

Miyako frowns. "You should be apologising to Yamato. He seems serious about you, Sor."

"When Sebastian goes, I'll sort it out with Yamato."

"Sort what out?" Miyako raises an eyebrow. "Are you together…?"

"I'm going now!" I suddenly announce, springing off the stool and pocketing the post-it into my bag. I hadn't meant to say it aloud, but Miyako was being observant as ever and had clung onto my words. "Bye bye!"

I escape from Miyako's clutches, pretending her shouting after me is nonexistent.

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For the limited time we had from midday to this evening, I'd say we smashed a good amount of tourist attractions.

To name a few - or a lot if I don't say so myself - we had went to Tokyo Sky Tree, the crossing in Shibuya (including meeting Hachiko at the station), Asakusa, Meiji Shrine, Harajuku, and even dared to venture into a maid cafe much to Sebastian's reluctance.

When he had accepted the call from me, Sebastian had been so startled that his tone pitched slightly higher. I suggested to him that I be his tourist guide for the day. It was kind of reckless for me to do, and I only found it to be a moronic plan when I heard his voice on the phone, but it had been too late to hang the call. Surprisingly, Sebastian had replied an enthused 'yes' without missing a beat.

Even I couldn't believe what I had found myself doing. A promise was a promise though. Despite things had gotten bad between us, I didn't want to fail Sebastian. I couldn't leave him in an unknown city without expressing and teaching him about my culture, as he had done for me when I was in Spain. Besides, he was going back tomorrow and I...I most likely would never see him again.

Sebastian isn't a bad person. Yes, we once upon a time had been in a relationship together, but above everything else he had also become one of my closest friends. I missed having him as a friend. Perhaps that was why it had hurt so much when we broke up. Therefore the least I can do for him is to part on a nicer note; a not run away. I don't want to make that repeat that mistake.

Yes, being with him for the day had been immensely awkward at first. It was like we both were trying to ignore our last conversation we had, dusting our cafe meeting under our feet and enjoying our last day together as friends. There were times we'd bring up memories, or things we did as a couple before deviating in a not-so-smooth manner away from our old status.

This task proved to be very difficult because people would assume us to be a couple, and don't get me started on the numerous times bystanders would cast Sebastian (and me) looks because of his European descent. As the day continued, we got comfortable around each other again. The breaking point was when we had sashimi and sushi for lunch. I had forgotten to mention to Sebastian that the sushi chefs here often put wasabi inside the sushi rolls and not on the side.

Therefore, when Sebastian had bitten into it, his eyes had widened and started watering. His face went slightly off colour and he had downed the glass of water in an instance. I had forgotten how weak he was to spicy food. I had often teased him about it. So when I had seen him spluttering after sinking his teeth into the sake nigiri, while he had been suffering in pain I had peeled into laughter.

"I didn't think you'd invite me," Sebastian admits, shoulders drooping as he slouches over the bar counter. He takes a sip from the pint of beer, choosing to not look me in the eye.

I respond, "I didn't think you'd come out."

For dinner I had selected that we go to an izakaya that was known for serving delicious, inexpensive yakitori. My father always praised that yakitori was the best partner for beer, and it is a thought I apparently had adopted.

I douse the stick of chicken with some of the bar's special sauce, passing it over to him. "Try this."

"Will there be wasabi?" Sebastian queries, uncertainly taking the stick from me.

"No." I laugh, "Just because you had one bad experience with wasabi doesn't mean every food has it."

"Who knows? That sushi chef was an expert at hiding it between the salmon and rice," Sebastian grumbles. He slowly rips a piece of chicken from the stick with his teeth. "Yum. This is good."

"I told you so."

And with that, I clink my glass to his resting beer. This is my fourth beer that I've downed tonight, and my vision is a touch cloudy.

I give Sebastian a side-glance, watching him enjoy the meat. The facial expression in his face his hilarious. He is beaming like a little school boy, munching happily, dimples sharp and eyes shining bright. Sebastian gets like this whenever he eats something that he likes, that or anything sweet considering he possesses the biggest sweet tooth I know of.

"Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for," I reply.

"You took me around." He says, "I was planning on staying in my hotel all day."

"Well, you know I can't have that," I smile. "I owe you. Think of all those times you'd take me around Barcelona? I really thought you wouldn't want me to show you around…"

"If I can't be with you, or date you...then I'll take whatever I can."

His comment is double-edged, but also tinged with his typical playful mischievousness. I roll my eyes at his childishness. It's too soon to joke about this, but I'm not surprised because it's a very 'Sebastian thing' to do.

Sebastian leans his right arm on the counter, resting his head onto his hand as he stares closely at me. "I gave it-you a lot of thought. Is there another person? Is that why…"

"No," I quickly dismiss, despite not knowing the answer myself.

Yamato and I are keeping it quiet, but I doubt it will last long. Men like Yamato aren't suited for women like me - especially when Yamato's beliefs are not similar to mine. I'm more grounded and because of my confusion with what's been going on in my life lately, I had let loose more than I would have. I don't share the comfortable thought of sleeping with another person on a regular basis, making it a friends with benefit relationship like Yamato had with Jun.

If this is the reason why we're together; I don't think I can handle it. Perhaps I'm giving us a go because I'm enjoying our interaction as much as I can, testing the waters before our relationship will obviously break. I mean, how can Yamato and I base or relationship or, whatever we have together, when we had started off fooling around?

"There's no point lying to me, Sor. I know you too well. Especially when you were zoning out just now," Sebastian breaks into my thoughts. "Can you hint to me that he's a good guy, at least?"

I sigh. "I don't know, Seb. Outside he doesn't seem like it, but my friends trust him. I wouldn't say he's treated me badly either. He's kind of a charmer..."

Like you. But I don't say that to Sebastian, of course. If I hadn't had alcohol in my system, I wouldn't have spoken about Yamato to Sebastian. Then again, it's always been easy to talk to Sebastian.

"Then what's holding you back? Why do you seem scared of my arch-nemesis?"

I bite my bottom lip. "I'll screw it up. Like what had happened to us…"

"Ouch," Sebastian says, but his lips are slanted upwards in a sad, but amused, smile. "That hits quite close to home."

"Sorry," I apologise, grimacing at how stupid I had been. I want to hit myself on the head for saying something so insensitive.

Sebastian advises, "No. Don't be sorry. You're being honest, and we were both wrong, you know? Perhaps we met at the wrong time, Sora."

Perhaps we had.

We talk more. Sebastian chatters on about how his sister is pregnant. How his family have been doing, and his mother's latest obsession with gardening. I fill him in on my current lousy unemployed status and how I had found it hard adjusting back to Japan after by absence. He still thinks I look beautiful; I still say he's a suave gentleman.

He puts on his jacket, zipping it up. Placing a hand on my shoulder. "I should get going. It's nearly midnight."

"I'll see you off?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to do the Cinderella on you this time," Sebastian states. "I can cope well on my own, and find my own way back. Makes a strong man, like myself, sound weak."

"Pathetic," I remark. He chuckles.

To my bewilderment, he leans in and kisses me...on the lips.

My mouth widens in shock, and Sebastian takes this to his advantage. Tongue slipping into my mouth. I close my eyes on instinct, savouring the kiss. It's familiar, warm and bitter and stirs feelings of old memories, pulling at my heartstrings.

I finally get a hold of myself, breaking away from him before I sink even lower. I glimpse a dash of hurt in his hazel eyes, as if finally confirming that we're over. The painful look on his face disappears, followed by a smirk forming on his lips.

"Parting gift?" He says cheekily.

Using both of my hands, I shove him away. However, I'm can't resist but give a small smile. I mouth again, "Pathetic."

I reach over to hug him one last time. He strokes my back. "All the best, Preciosa."

He gives me one last kiss on the cheek, before turning on his heel to go. I don't chase after Sebastian, or leave immediately after him as I'm still trying to formulate in my head what had just happened.

I blankly watch Sebastian leave.

My focus shifts when I gaze at a group standing by the entrance of the bar. My breath catches in my throat. The group consists of a couple of faces I recognise. Amongst them, Daisuke's sister is here and I also see the pianist that I vaguely remember from the Grand Hyatt.

However, it's when I glimpse a pair of blue eyes leering at me, my blood turns cold.

His arms are folded, continuing to stare hard at me for another second, before turning his back on me and hastily storming out of the izakaya.

Oh, shit.

I don't hesitate for a second, stumbling off the bar stool and running after him.

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(a/n) Ah! I got this done on time. Woo. I wanted to release this before I go overseas. Thanks for reading! I couldn't leave Sebastian to have one chapter, so here's another. Haha. Yamato will come back next chapter, as you probably can tell from the last part of this chapter. This chapter turned out being longer than I expected. I feel like it's a filler, but I also think it was necessary. Sora's a real mess. But I think you've already figured that out by now...

I'll reply to reviews tonight or tomorrow. xox

Ana Maria: Thanks for reviewing :)

Guest (PP, I think, maybe?): Yamato's complex too, but the more I write about Sora...I find she is also complicated in her own way. It's both frustrating and interesting exploring her character in this story. Not everybody falls in love once, and there's nothing wrong with loving more than one person. (well, maybe perhaps not at the same time...but you get my drift). And yes. Sora is definitely a heart-breaker in this story. Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)