"Is that what this is all about?" Jesse looked up at him wide-eyed. "House, I'm an American girl. This is home. That lifestyle is far too antiquated for my tastes. We covered that already. I used to travel all the time. That will happen much less now. I will travel though. I'm not going to gloss over anything and suddenly have you surprised and pouting and angry with me. I travel. I lecture and shop and enjoy a lot of things that aren't contained within these borders. I will travel. Make no mistake about it." Jesse tried to be as open and upfront as she dared without mortally wounding him. "I don't like traveling alone. If you ever care to join me on some of the lesser excursions I'd welcome the company." She tried as best she could to be honest and reassuring. Jesse was hoping he'd drop it. House had the answer he wanted. No, she wasn't leaving, at least not for long periods of time.

"Instead of all the malls in New Jersey it's malls around the world?" House tried not to sound upset. "The lesser excursions…and the others?" As if he didn't know.

"I had a lot of time to think when I was here before. I quit entirely and they win. I'm slowing down, I promise you. No more three months here and another month there. But I can't retire from public speaking and throw in the towel. That would be impossible." The look on House's face made Jesse cringe but she refused to back down. House had to understand or it was time to regroup before anyone's heart got seriously broken, if it wasn't too late already. They'd been inseparable for two days other than work. That was probably what was forcing the issue now. "If it were the other way around you would feel the same. The decision would be the same if it was yours to make." House was shaking his head and it upset Jesse. "You know better. Think if it had been the other way around. If it had been you instead of William and things had gone down differently. If I was the one who lost my life…" Jesse persisted, trying for a calm resolution.

"Stop." Was all he could manage. House couldn't bear to hear it, even if she was right.

"I would've crossed the far side of the universe to spur William on. Not that I would have needed to. You have that same drive and that same conviction about what you do."

"My profession doesn't put me in the path of homicidal maniacs." House suddenly remembered when he was shot. No. It wasn't the same. And no, he didn't want to hear anymore. "Jesse, stop it." House's voice grew more demanding. Jesse's voice was unchanging, as calm and resigned as it was from the beginning.

"I won't. You need to hear this. You need to know so there's no question about the way things are somewhere down the road if we're still on that road together." Jesse was adamant about him being aware of the way things were. There were to be no surprises. There was no hint of anger in her voice or on her face. There was only concern for him.

If…the word paralyzed House before he could respond. He looked away, struggling for the right words. Jesse's last statement snapped him back in to reality. His parakeet had her wings intact and could ramble on or fly or do anything she pleased. House could argue his point all he wanted, but in the end he was powerless to stop Jesse from doing anything. He could only stand back and watch, because this truly was not a parakeet.

Wilson's analogy came to mind as House turned to gaze at Jesse again. He was looking into the eyes of one of the "Goddesses of Mount Olympus" according to Wilson. With one word she had stung him to the marrow. If they were still on the same road; Jesse had warned him. He might not want to stay. House felt her hand slip inside of his and squeeze it ever so gently. There was questioning in her eyes, concern…for him.

House took Jesse in his arms and held her for the longest time. Jesse tried to speak, but House kissed her and held her tighter, rocking her slowly in his arms. "Jesse?" His voice was barely a whisper. Her arms tightened around him as she hoped this was a peaceful end to things.

"Yes, my warm lover?" She whispered back. Please Jesse thought. Please let it go.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't let things 'go down differently'…" House started to say. He couldn't finish the sentence it pained him so. "Jesse…"

"I'll do my very best for you."

"For you too, for both of us. Will you do it for both of us?" House kissed her. Jesse nodded. "We're going to be on that same road together. There is no 'if' for me. I told you I wouldn't back down."

"I know. I know." Jesse's voice was soft, soothing as she ran her fingers through his hair. She tried desperately to lay his fears to rest. "You have to promise me something as well, if you're sure this is what you want?"

"Tell me."

"You have to let me go when it's time." The look in his eyes gave Jesse an answer she didn't want. "We can't do this to each other every time I have to leave. I don't want to hurt you like this, ever. Not ever. You have to kiss me good bye and send me on my way…sooner I'm gone the sooner I'll be back." House said nothing at first. Jesse didn't push. She knew he needed time to digest the idea. "You take the time you need to think about it. Be sure. Be absolutely sure this is what you want."

"It isn't." House didn't hesitate. "It's the only option you give me that includes me in your life, however long you allow…" House stopped himself. "I'd rather be with you than without you." He kissed her again.

Jesse nodded. "I feel the same way. I hope…I hope that you will always know that."

House's eyes bored into hers and he started to shake his head. "Even if you won't stay put." Jesse started to speak, but House stopped her. "Maybe…maybe someday you'll miss me enough that you won't want to leave ever again."

"I'll put it on my list of future possibilities." Jesse whispered, kissing him.

What an eloquent response, House thought to himself. She was being kind while evading any kind of commitment with surgical precision. House almost envied her abilities, if it hadn't felt like she'd just stuck the scalpel in him to make her eloquent getaway.

House had to make himself let go of Jesse, but it was only after he held her in his arms for a while longer. She would come and go from his life like a refreshing drink of water. Most men might be pleased with that arrangement. House was anything but. Jesse was beautiful. She moved like a breath of fresh air in and around dangerous and powerful circles. What man wouldn't want to possess her? And he wouldn't be there to guard his interests. He knew Jesse would never allow him near when the situation was 'delicate' or difficult or any of a dozen other discreet words. She would keep him at a "safe" distance, out of harm's way. House wasn't sure how he felt about that as Jesse started them walking again. His mind was racing, searching for a solution he was unsure he would be able to find.

They wandered back to the house with only minor conversation breaking the silence. Jesse was on her guard for the next flare up and House was trying desperately to fight it down. He kept telling himself over and over, that arguing was futile. Jesse could do as she pleased. He was a part of her world by choice but his legendary behavior could sink that in a heartbeat. Jesse didn't have a clue how unbearable and miserable he could be when he didn't get his way. House did his best when they got back to the kitchen.

"Take a look through all of these and see what you like." Jesse said, scanning the cupboards and leaving the doors open for him. "Looks like we have unlimited resources." Jesse could feel House standing directly behind her. For the first time, she felt a tad nervous in his presence. "Anything look good to you?" Jesse coaxed, hoping for a response. One word. Anything. Her warm lover was pouting, giving her the silent treatment. He truly was a master at that art, she thought. Jesse spun around suddenly and put her arms around him. It caught House off guard and he smiled a little.

"I'm looking. A lot more to choose from than peanut butter." He went back to reading the proliferation of boxes and cans. Jesse smiled up at him, listening, watching. His voice sounded different, she thought. Reservation. Resignation. Maybe both. His hand idly rubbed her back and he looked down at her. The hurt in his eyes hadn't gone away. Jesse felt terrible. She wanted to hide but there was no escape. They were there together. There was no one else to bounce off of but each other and Jesse knew she was going to have to fix this. House would just flounder and pout. Men.

"I'll look in the freezer. I told them to make sure I had plenty of meals in a bag. Ever tried those?" Jesse asked, wandering over to the side-by-side monster refrigerator and opening the freezer door. "All manner of gourmet meals. Just nuke and serve."

House followed and peered in over her head again. "Shrimp looks good."

"We can do shrimp. We have spicy and saucy and the list is endless..." House pointed at the spicy and Jesse pulled out a couple of bags and started rummaging for a bowl.

House watched her pour them in to a large casserole dish and put the lid on top. She carefully read the instructions before placing it in the microwave. House smiled at her thorough attention. "You don't cook, do you?"

Jesse gave him a quizzical look. "What do you call this?"

House couldn't keep from laughing. He walked over and put his arms around her. It was the first real warmth Jesse had felt from him since things had gotten out of hand. "I've never seen anyone give such meticulous attention to micro waving."

"I cook." Jesse protested. House hugged her, stroking her hair and laughing at her. "I can make eggs…"

"Hard-boiled."

"I can scramble them too! I can make hot dogs and heat those cans of pork and beans up with them!"

"Beans and wieners?" House was impressed, laughing harder. "I know you didn't see that on any French restaurant menus."

"Jack taught me!" Jesse blurted out in lame defense. "We had a superbowl party and I helped." House only shook his head, the laughter unceasing as he hugged his precious chef. "I can make chili from scratch!" Jesse bragged. House stopped laughing, amazed by that one.

"Ah, your family. Was chili 101 before or after 'old school' 101? What else did your evil brothers teach you?" House snarked.

"They're not evil." Jesse yanked herself free of him and stepped back, glaring at him. "How can you say that when you know nothing about them? You know nothing of the circumstances of their lives…our lives…together." House was shocked by the sudden turn around. Impressed with their lifestyle or not, she would fight for her brothers.

House took a moment to regroup. He walked over to the counter and sat down on one of the stools. "I was joking." His voice was quiet. And the look on his face…Jesse's heart sank. "I suddenly had this picture of them standing over you in the kitchen trying to teach you how to cook. Jesse, I didn't mean…come here." Jesse didn't move, defiantly glaring at him. Yes, she would fight for them. Jesse drew the line when it came to them.

"I don't want to fight with you. I won't. I won't argue. I won't have it." Jesse stood her ground, waiting for him to back down. House relented.

"Neither will I. Come here." House tossed the cane on the counter and held out his arms. Jesse flew into them. Neither said anything at first. Jesse melted against him and House wrapped his arms around her.

Chapter 21