Anna pulled the door shut and took a few deep breaths. Mrs. Hughes approached but Anna shook her head.
"She's no better today Mrs. Hughes."
"Not even a little hungry?" Anna shrugged and Mrs. Hughes looked at the door, her mouth pulled with worry. "She hasn't eaten since yesterday. It can't be good for her. Especially not in her condition."
"It's not but she doesn't have an appetite." Anna lifted her hand, but dropped it when she realized she had nothing beneficial to say. "I guess it's how she's handling the news."
"Did she write him?"
Anna nodded, "Before she got the telegram she got his letter. He was so excited about the baby. I think it only makes it harder."
Mrs. Hughes nodded, "And with Daisy in a right state about William."
"How's she?"
"She's visiting with Mr. Mason until the service this weekend but what more can be done? They don't even have bodies to bury."
Anna nodded, grimacing as she dry washed her hands before putting one to her back. Mrs. Hughes bent her head, stepping toward her.
"Are you alright Anna?"
"Just some back pain."
"Anything else? You haven't seemed yourself lately either." Mrs. Hughes pointed to Lady Mary's room, "You haven't eaten much more than her these last few weeks."
Anna bit her lip, "Don't tell Mrs. Patmore but it's because the food tastes funny."
Mrs. Hughes raised an eyebrow, "If she heard you even implied something like that she'd bring her wooden spoon down on you so fast you wouldn't have time to run."
"I know. And there's been nothing different about it even with rationing but something's funny. It all just tastes odd. Like something's off about the flavors. More metallic or sour than usual." Anna shook her head, "Maybe it's just my nerves."
Mrs. Hughes sucked in her cheeks, "Maybe."
Anna stopped, "What is it Mrs. Hughes?"
"It's none of my business Anna but," Mrs. Hughes stepped forward, keeping her voice low, "When was the last time you bled?"
Anna thought a moment, "Right after I got back from America with Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew I did."
"But not since?"
Anna numbered the days in her head before her jaw seemed to loosen on its hinges, "Not that I recall no. I thought it was my nerves about Mr. Bates."
"I think you need to see Dr. Clarkson my dear." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "If you take this afternoon I can keep my ear out for Lady Mary and see to her until you get back."
"Thank you Mrs. Hughes."
As Mrs. Hughes walked down the hallway in the opposite direction Anna considered going back into Lady Mary's room but changed her mind and headed for the stairs. She hurried down, almost running into Mr. Carson, and grabbed her coat and hat. They were barely on by the time she was out the door.
February bit at her exposed skin and Anna grabbed her coat to do up the buttons in a rush. She found her gloves in the pockets and jogged from the servant's entrance to the road toward the village. She dodged out of the way of Mr. Mosely and did not even paused when he called out good morning, merely throwing a wave in his direction.
She reached the gate, breathing a little hard, and put a hand to her chest as the cold air burned her throat.
"They say running's good for you but I never bought into that." Aphrodite waved from the open gate, "Hi."
"I wondered when you'd come 'round again."
"I was going to drop by on Valentine's Day when that note from your secret admirer came but I thought I should give you some privacy." Aphrodite kept pace with Anna, "He got one too you know. Unsigned. It came from Downton but who's to say who from."
"Does it matter?"
"It matters if you've both got secret admirers."
"It's no less than we deserve." Anna grinned to herself and saw Aphrodite laughing. "What?"
"You two. You're so saccharine it makes me smile."
"I hope we can be saccharine for a very long time."
"That makes two of us. Three if you count John." Aphrodite paused, sticking out her cheek as she put her tongue in the side of her mouth, "And four if you count the bun in your oven."
Anna stopped, "What?"
"Is that not an expression you use?" Aphrodite looked like she needed to find something quickly but only had what was around her, "How's about this. Stork calls came and you got one."
"How could you know that?"
"I admit, childbirth, fertility, and marriage are Hera's thing but I do know a little something about the love one bears for their child and the children that come as the product of love…" Aphrodite winced, "I know a lot more about the children who are the product of lust, passion, erotic encounters, and drunken orgies but I can say I've been around the products of True Love. There was this one girl-"
"Stop," Anna held up her hand, "I'm not saying anything to anyone until I see Dr. Clarkson about this."
"Be my guest," Aphrodite stepped to the side, waving Anna on, "I'll just go with you."
"Why?"
"Because no one should have to sit through that kind of exam alone. Since your mother's not here and your surrogate mother is taking care of a very pitiful Lady Mary I can fill in."
"Lady Mary is not pitiful."
"In the older definition 'pitiful' references those in need of or deserving our pity." Aphrodite stopped, "Someone who loses a love like Mary did the way she did is deserving of the deepest reserves of anyone's pity. Mine included."
"You feel pity for her?"
"Of course I do. I got them together. And pity, especially in this case, is a product of compassion, which is a deep form of love." Aphrodite huffed, "Honestly I feel like none of you read the Bible."
"You've read the Bible."
"There's not a lot to do in between missions and it is a best seller. Translated into more languages than even Harry Potter. And has more copies sold than Fifty Shades of Grey."
"What are those?"
"One is a fantastic set of books that inspired millions of children to read and overcome personal obstacles and the other is a disgusting representation of abusive lust that I neither approve nor do I condone."
"So why mention them?"
"Because, believe it or not, they are about as popular as this dark horse of a television show that took the world by storm with it's depiction of turn-of-the-century England and the changing class system."
"Turn of which century?" Anna pulled just short of the door to the hospital, "And what's a television?"
"This century and don't worry, you probably won't live to see a television. Though when they televised the coronation of Liz 2 that was something." Aphrodite pulled the door open, "After you."
Anna walked in, dodging the officers and nurses taking up all the space in the hallway. She saw Lady Sybil and smiled at her as she approached.
"Anna, what are you doing here?"
"I need to see Dr. Clarkson milady."
"Is it Mary?"
"No," Anna waved a hand, "She's fine. Well, she's not fine, obviously, but she's not ill of body. Just spirit."
"I can't even imagine. Mrs. Crawley was crying this morning when one of our officers passed away. I think it's still too soon for her but she insisted."
"Lady Mary's the same. She's just so lost in grief." Anna shivered, "I wish I knew what to do to help her.
"So do I." Lady Sybil looked back over the ward, "I guess we care for those before us as best we can and hope they find the strength to bear it."
"I think so too."
"I'm sorry, that's so thoughtless of me." Lady Sybil put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "How is Bates?"
"He's well. His last letter said the discussion hasn't gone anywhere but at least it's not going backward so there's that I suppose."
"Anything not backward is forward I think." Lady Sybil took a breath, "Were you here to see Dr. Clarkson yourself then?"
"I just need a small checkup, nothing major."
"I could probably do it. He's in surgery and won't be out for a bit and I have a minute while the ward's quiet if you don't want to wait."
"I-" Anna bit her lip, "I don't know if it's in your expertise."
"I can do a physical and general body check if that's what worries you."
"It's not that milady. I believe you're an excellent nurse and fully qualified." Anna leaned forward, "I need to know if I'm pregnant."
"Oh," Lady Sybil's eyes widened, "I- I don't know if I've the training for that but I think Mrs. Crawley does. I can see if I can find her."
"I don't want to bother her." Anna went to saw but Lady Sybil escorted her to a chair.
"I think it'll do her good. She's been surrounded by death so often that the idea of new life might bring some joy to her."
Anna held her gloves in her hand as she tried to drown out the monotonous noises of the ward mixing with the occasionally cries of pain. Aphrodite leaned against the wall opposite her, tapping her fingers on her elbow with her arms crossed over her chest. She shook her head, shuddering with a shriek from the ward.
"Does pain bother you?"
"I'm the goddess of love. I never liked pain. That's Ares' realm of expertise."
"Love causes pain."
"I don't work in that kind of love." Aphrodite jumped at another sound, "This place just makes me ache."
"Why would Ares do this?"
"He's pretty much shit so all I can say in answer to that is because he's a dick."
"Does he get joy from it?"
"Don't you remember your Greek mythology?" Anna shook her head as Aphrodite took a breath, "Ares throne is covered in human skin. He has two minions named Phobos and Deimos… otherwise known as Panic and Fear. He and I had a child named Eros, the god of erotic love."
"Why would your child with him be the god of erotic love?"
"Because war and fear and panic play on emotions and physical reactions similar to those sparked by erotic interaction. In about seventy or so years psychologists and neurosurgeons will find that the brain's functions for those reactions are controlled in regions of the brain very close together." Aphrodite sank to squat on her heels, "Ares takes the same joy in watching mankind tear itself apart that I take watching two people who love one another take a romantic stroll next to the Rhine."
"I doubt anyone strolls there now."
"Love finds a way." Aphrodite clapped her hands together. "From the dawn of time, love is the more powerful of the forces. Love had Adam eating the fruit that Eve offered him so they wouldn't be separated and God sent His Son to die for the sins of the world because He loved them. I'd say love wins out."
"You're a philosopher."
"All lovers are poets."
Anna went to agree but Lady Sybil came back with Mrs. Crawley. "Mrs. Crawley, I'm so sorry to take up your time."
"No, Sybil's right. It'll be good for me to have something to bring a bit of joy." She put a hand on Anna's shoulder and gestured with her other, "Let's go in here shall we?"
Anna followed Mrs. Crawley and Lady Sybil into the room and removed her hat and coat. When Mrs. Crawly instructed she lay out on the cot as Mrs. Crawley tied her smock over her clothes. Anna felt her hands shaking and gripped them tightly.
"Don't worry dear, this is a very simple procedure." Mrs. Crawley pointed to Lady Sybil. "I hope you don't mind if I have her watch so she knows how to do it in future."
"Not at all." Anna smiled at Lady Sybil as Mrs. Crawley pushed Anna's legs to bend at the knee. "Could you-"
She cleared her throat, "Could you tell me what's going on so I know too?"
"Of course. I'm just going to start by feeling for any signs of formation near your stomach." Mrs. Crawley pressed at Anna's abdomen through her dress before reaching for the hem. "I'm going to compress your abdomen again but I need to see the response. May I raise this?"
Anna could only nod as she dress came to rest just below her breasts. She tried to breathe normally as Mrs. Crawley pressed on her stomach and then lower. Anna searched the room for any bit of comfort and saw Aphrodite sitting just next to her, trying to appear encouraging.
"Next I need to check your vaginal area. May I pull down your undergarments?"
Anna nodded and felt the material slide down her legs. In other circumstances this would be far more exciting but John was hundreds of miles away and someone else's hands were jabbing at her. This was medical and she was far to nervous to remember the better memories she associated with this position. She stared at the ceiling as someone held her hand. Anna blinked away a single tear as Aphrodite rubbed her shoulder.
"Well," Anna craned her neck down as Mrs. Crawley replaced the knickers and pulled the dress down to cover her again. "From what I can tell you are pregnant Mrs. Bates. I might guess two, almost three months along but it's been some time since I sat a midwifery course so I might be wrong."
"That's good enough for me." Anna swung her legs off the cot and stood. "Thank you both."
"Thank you Anna," Mrs. Crawley smiled at her though her eyes seemed clouded, as if she could not completely escape a sadness that lurked in the corners, "It does me good to know that something beautiful will come to this world despite all the darkness around us right now."
Anna smiled back and turned to Lady Sybil, "I hope it's not too much to ask but I'd like to keep this to myself. At least until Mr. Bates knows. I think it'd be unfair of me to tell everyone when he doesn't know yet."
"Of course. We'll be the soul of discretion." Lady Sybil grinned, "But I am really happy for you Anna."
"Thank you milady."
Anna almost skipped home, Aphrodite keeping up in her small boots and jacket she never seemed without. "Aren't you cold?"
"I don't get cold. Part of my immortal charm."
"I wish I could say the same."
"That bun will cook your oven so don't worry about it. I hear pregnant women run hotter than other people because they're making a human." Aphrodite counted on her fingers, "At least you're here for the English summer. If you were in Africa you'd melt before the baby's due in that kind of heat. You'd probably melt anyway but add to it the heat from that little sucker and boom, instant bakery."
Anna shook her head, the smile on her face not to be dimmed for anything.
John read the words and grinned.
As he stood, going to speak to Lord Grantham, something hit the train. He grabbed for the overhead luggage rack, just stopping himself from falling into the lap of an officer. He righted himself as something else hit their car.
They skidded and John hit the floor. He covered his head with his arms as the glass from the windows shattered around them. John peeked through the gap, crawling toward Lord Grantham. He pulled him to the side, checking his pulse, and called out to him.
Just as Lord Grantham opened his eyes the doors at either end burst open. Soldiers holding guns shouted at them in German stormed into the carriage. John immediately raised his hands and put his body in front of Lord Grantham's.
One of the soldiers moved toward them, gesturing with his gun and John worked himself to the floor slowly. The speed was not fast enough for one of the soldiers who kicked him in his bad leg. John grunted and hit the floor hard, knocking his chin. His head spun slightly as they searched him, ensured he had no weapons, and moved on.
John maneuvered back to Lord Grantham, pulling at his sleeve to dab at Lord Grantham's bleeding forehead. The cut looked superficial but head wounds bled a lot, deceiving the uninitiated into thinking the concern was far greater. John kept pressure there as Lord Grantham's eyes fluttered.
"Milord, stay awake."
"Bates?"
"It's me milord. The train's been seized by Germans."
"Bloody jerrys?"
"Yes sir." John held the back of Lord Grantham's head to keep his pressure constant on the cut. "I think they'll round us up in a minute to take us to a camp."
"Oh," Lord Grantham groaned, "I can bear anything Bates."
"Of course you can sir."
"But German tea… I think I'd rather die."
"I'll keep that in mind milord and insist you only get tea from home."
"Good man." He was silent a moment and John held his breath, making sure Lord Grantham was still breathing. "Bates?"
"Yes milord?" John looked down at Lord Grantham and noticed he pointed to the letter sticking just a corner form John's pocket.
"What's the news?"
"I was just coming to tell you. Anna's going to have a baby milord."
"Congratulations."
"Thank you milord." John checked the cut and went to do something about it before two soldiers came over. One grabbed John and forced him upright and the other grabbed Lord Grantham. They shuffled them toward the door, pushing Lord Grantham into John, who just caught him.
"Keep steady for them Bates."
"Yes milord."
"Because I need you to steady me."
"Will do milord." John helped Lord Grantham out of the train and into the snow with the others from their car. "Will do."