21: Thou Preparest a Table before me in the Presence of Mine Enemies

Makoto

12:10 PM

As I sit on the bench next to the girl I thought was the one of my dreams, I close my eyes. Prickly autumn wind rustles through my hair, discomforting the short white threads protruding from the back of my neck. My eyes squint, openly displaying my discomfort.

"Makoto-kun . . . Are you alright?"

My eyes fly open, and I turn to face her. Horizontal red streaks line the top of her cheeks, and her head is inclined towards the floor.

Damnit. "N-no, it's alright. The air just got really chilly for a second,"

"Oh," Kotonoha's eyes look despairingly at the lunch bundle between us, "I see."

A twinge of guilt falls over me. With all the stress I've been feeling, I'm in mood to shovel down the garbage she calls food. The excuse I came up with was logical, but I can tell she didn't buy it.

Why does she have to be so sensitive? Is there anything she doesn't take offense to? And Sekai was wondering why I was so uncertain earlier . . .

I brush a tired hand over my hair, shift to the side where she can't see me, and flip open my cellphone. As always, the candid profile shot I'd taken of her on the train during the first day of school still stood as my phone's wall paper.

I miss when I could watch her from afar. She looked so ideal then . . . I didn't know dating her would be this complicated.

A thought comes to mind as I silently eye the picture I'd taken. I shut my phone, stuff it in my pocket, and bring my body back forwards. I turn my head just so that I can eye her figure without making myself obvious.

Then again, she did kiss me the other day. And there's no one else around . . . Maybe we can do 'it' here?

"Kotonoha-chan,"

"Y-yes?"

She peeks curiously in my direction.

"U-um . . . I've been kind of thinking, ya know . . . maybe we should commemorate the fact that we're getting closer."

"Eh?" She blinks innocently. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean . . ." I rub my hands together. C'mon, you can do this; why not make the most of this situation? "'Like . . . dirty stuff,"

"A-ah, I see . . ." Her eyes grow downcast as she self-consciously smooths out her skirt. "W-well, I'm not sure if I was ready for something like that, but . . . If you think it will make things less awkward . . ."

She lifts herself up from her seat, eyes shut tight. "We can try something like that!"

Hot air rushes out both my ears, and sweat blankets my shaved-down sideburns. This is my chance; I didn't even have to coerce her. She'll let me do something; maybe I should start by—

". . . if you betrayed Katsura-san, I would make a special exception for you."

Yuki's words ring through my mind at the most inopportune moment. What does that have to do with anything? 'Wouldn't he want me to share this kinda thing with Kotonoha? I'd be doing what he wanted.

I look into Kotonoha's shut eyes. Her body is shivering, face red with embarrassment. In the state she's in, I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly collapses.

I was too scared to tell Kotonoha the truth about what happened with Yuki . . . And there's no way I'm going to tell her about Sekai kissing me. But, maybe he'll be satisfied if I do something like this-?

A fog of uncertainty courses through my thoughts.

No . . . I don't know how he found out about what happened between me and Sekai, but I'm sure he'd find a way to know about something like this too. Besides, it's too risky; it looks like she doesn't even want to do this . . .

"N-no, I'm sorry,"

"Hah?"

She breaks out of her daze as she hears my apology. Is that sort of thing really that unexpected from me?

"I just got lost in a silly daydream; that's all. Y-you don't have to do anything like that if you don't want to,"

I try my best to smile and hide the disappointment in my face. If I show I'm upset, it'd be too hard to resist her when she insists its okay . . .

"O-oh," she walks up to me and bows, "thank you for being courteous to someone who's being unreasonable."

Yeesh, she's becoming more and more of a doormat by the minute, "it's no trouble. I didn't really want to do it that much . . . anyways . . ."

"Yeah," she twiddles her fingers nervously beside me, "I was a bit jittery about it too. Though . . ."

She takes my right shoulder in her hand.

"Even if not yet . . . I want to do that with you someday."

My mouth droops into a disbelieving face. Y-you're too hot right now; I might just ask to do it right now if you don't tone it down, and I know we can't at this point.

"Y-yeah," I recover best I can, throwing my body back onto the bench. "That would be—"

Crunch.

"Huh-?"

I lift my backside off the bench. I'd just sat on the bundle Kotonha made for me.

You've gotta be kidding me . . .

"I'm sorry," I groan, "I was just a bit embarrassed."

"No, that's fine," Kotonoha reassures me, staring out into the distance, "I'm just glad that we're spending time together like this."

Hesitating, I offer her my right hand. Ironically, she turns out to be more confident about the gesture than I am.

What do I want . . . Am I in love with Kotonoha?

I feel at the phone still in my pocket.

Or, is it time for things to change . . .?

Yuuki

Everything's falling apart.

I thought the plan we'd come up with had a good chance to work. I figured that doing this would make sure Kotonoha wouldn't be hurt by Makoto's selfish actions. It sounded so easy in my head.

But now, facing down nearly the entire student body with only Sekai by my side, I realize exactly how foolish we were.

What have I done . . . Who knows how much worse things could get now . . .?

I stare into Sekai's petrified eyes. Setsuna had just demanded Sekai tell her the truth about what was going in a more blunt, more venomous tone than I'd ever seen her use before. I never thought I'd hear her talk to her best friend in that way.

How will Sekai respond . . . Will she tell everyone the truth or stick with the plan? If I was in her shoes, I'd break down crying and tell everyone everything . . .

Sekai balls the two hands by her side into fists. Whatever decision she's made, she's making with resolve . . . None of the desperation I might feel at this point.

"You want the truth, Setsuna?" Sekai says, her voice choking up. "Everybody here is right; I did kiss Makoto, right before Kotonoha was supposed to meet up with him for a date."

Nothing. Literally dead air. I never knew silence could be so ear-splittingly loud . . .

"I don't know how people found out about that, but it's true. I got so lost in some silly, childish crush, I didn't think for a minute about what I was doing. That happened four days ago, and since then, I promise nothing has happened."

Finally, the sound ends, and the people around us discuss Sekai's words among themselves. "Makoto is dating Katsura-san now . . . That's how it's been since Thursday of last week. I may have liked him then, but my feelings have changed now. I realize I can't chase after a dream that will never come true."

She takes my hand in hers. "At least for now, I'm going out with Yuki; everything I've just said is the truth . . . I promise."

The hum from before grows louder and more discordant. Sighing, Sekai sits back in her seat. Awkwardly, I follow suit.

"'Glad that public grilling's done," she smiles oddly in my direction, "I never thought something like that would draw so much, public ire, huh?"

Nanami's eyebrow is still raised. Setsuna has a thoughtful look on her face, and Hikari appears as confused as ever. With no warning, Setsuna stands up.

"Sekai, there's something I want to talk to you about; alone."

Sekai bites down hard on her lip as she follows Setsuna through the crowded cafeteria room. I quirk my lips and stare into my lap.

"So, it's true, huh?"

I look up with a start. Hikari seems to have finally regained her composure; her eyes are neutral, but her face still shows signs of doubt.

"Y-yes," I say, avoiding her gaze, "I'm sorry if it came up as so sudden; I'm sure I could've handled that better, though."

"Nah, don't be so down on yourself," she smiles sweetly, "it's just unfortunate to see another guy take Sekai's bait . . ."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing that concerns you,"

"Hikari," Nanami whispers coldly from her spot on the table, "I'm not sure if Sekai's telling the truth. Her story doesn't explain why Itou got together with Katsura in the first place."

"What do ya mean? Makoto had a crush on her, so he asked her out. Isn't that all there is to it?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't seem like the type who would ask someone out without some kind of nudge."

I narrowly restrain a gulp. Should I tell them about how Sekai set the two of them up . . . No, that might convince Hikari, but if it spreads around, it might sound more suspicious. I can't put my trust in everyone . . .

"This coming from the girl who thinks it's reasonable to believe Kyouichi isn't cheating on her?"

"That's obviously not true! If he was doing something like that, I'd be able to tell. People don't just get away with stuff like that . . ."

Kyouichi . . . might be cheating on Kanroji-san?

I shake my head. Hikari's gotta be teasing her. Besides, I have too much on my plate already.

I let my eyes drift to Otome and her friends, seemingly gossiping over the recent events.

This is going to be a lot harder than I though it would be.

Edited 6:12 PM, September 20, 2015