Chapter 21

"No use running, you son of a bitch!" Dean dodged left, spotting his quarry's shadow from the corner of his eye. Pools of darkness flooded the warehouse's aisles, only occasionally pushed back by lone bulbs hanging from high strung wires. The place was a veritable maze stinking of wood rot and mildew. But that damn demon wasn't going to leave this place alive if he had anything to say about it. He put on a burst of speed.

Ruby was good. Not that he'd ever tell her that. Just like she created those hex bags to hide his presence from anyone looking for him, she was real adept at tracking down her own kind. Omens helped to get them in the general vicinity. From there their quarry hadn't a prayer once she started sniffing around. Dean didn't know how she did it and never asked. All he cared about was results. And they'd had results a plenty.

Whenever they got the chance, Dean practiced on Ruby. Not the simple see and grab they'd done before but full out yanking her from her bod. She might be a weak demon, but practice was practice. And with the lack of love lost between them, she had no problems not holding back. It'd made for the worst headaches ever, and the suckers liked to linger afterwards, but he'd had worse done to him so they were nothing. Becoming less than nothing. The practice had made him that much more ready for each new playmate she found.

He still savored the first time he'd been able to yank a demon and get rid of it. It had given him a thrill of satisfaction like none he'd had in a long, long time. He could beat the bastards! And beat them he did. Though the poor people they wore didn't always make it, not even now. But one less demon was one less demon and that was cause enough to celebrate.

A yell of frustration sent Dean's spirits soaring. The idiot had fallen into one of their traps. Game Over, man. A grin tugging at the edge of his mouth, he slowed down, willing to take his time, knowing it was better to be safe than sorry. Demons were tricky. Never paid to underestimate their kind.

Back against a half crumbling box, he peeked around the corner into the closed off loading dock. Sure as shooting there was the yuppie in his way too expensive suit pacing back and forth trapped in the middle of the room. It never got old catching the overconfident SOBs with hidden devil's traps. That old tarp he'd found molding in the corner had come in quite handy.

It was even more fun watching the look of surprise that popped up on the meatsuit's face as Dean leisurely walked into the room. "End of the line, bud."

The demon frowned, staring at him with a weird intensity. "Who are you? How did you get that body?"

Now that was different. His brow rose for a moment. "None of that matters right now, princess. Get ready to say goodbye." Dean narrowed his eyes slightly to see the demon's essence. Aside from a slight feeling of pressure, it didn't bother him to do it anymore.

"Are you Dean? Dean Winchester?"

WTF? "Yeah. What's it to you?"

Dean was doubly shocked as he saw hope and relief coat the meatsuit's face.

"It's me, Dean." The dude couldn't have looked more excited. "It's Sam!"

Dean cocked an eyebrow at him. "I wasn't born yesterday, loser."

"I'm your brother. Dude, you have to believe me." He pounded his fist against the devil's trap's invisible wall. "Ask me anything. Tell me what to do. I'll prove it."

Dean started laughing. Couldn't help it. Couldn't stop it. He laughed and laughed until his sides hurt and tears rolled from his eyes. It echoed strangely against the bare warehouse walls. Some might have said it sounded mad. From the shocked and half horrified expression on the demon's face, it seemed he thought so.

Dean's arm went up and he poured out his will and grabbed onto the demon before him. "Sorry, possible Sammy. Too little, too late – as you once said. A week ago, I might have given a shit."

He yanked hard, a nasty grin breaking out over his face. Black smoke started pouring from the yuppie's open mouth, cutting off anything the person wearing him might have tried to say. Dean's grin grew wider. "But I don't anymore."

He stared with glee as the smoke pooled around the yuppie's feet, the meatsuit collapsing to the floor like a frozen piece of meat. He willed the demon in his mind's grip to burn.

And so it did.

-----

The violent gasp echoed around him though Dean didn't really hear it. He doubled forward, his heart hammering in his chest, his lungs in a vice. What little air he could take in burned. Flashes of hot and cold cut through him one after the other.

The dim room looked half familiar but it didn't matter. He dropped off the side of the bed onto the prickly carpet, fear filling his veins with dread. As his back connected with the corner, panic flooded him, making him both dizzy and nauseous as he realized he'd left his knife beneath his pillow and therefore now had no protection whatsoever.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins -- every movement, every sound amplified as they connected with his senses. The room spun and he splayed his hands against the wall to either side and his feet on the carpet to make sure he was grounded and wouldn't fly off into the ether.

The thought was pure insanity, but the cold terror running through him at the moment didn't give a shit. Cold sweat broke out all over his body. His chest hurt so bad he knew he was a poster child for heart attacks in the making.

Glimpses of the horrid nightmare flashed before his eyes like photographs from an album. Sam had been free. Dean had had full blown powers. And he'd sent Sammy away without a care back to the pit! He grabbed his head, squeezing it, trying to put himself back together. He must be losing his mind!

Yet he knew what this was, didn't he? He'd felt something similar though it'd only lasted for seconds back when Bella had Baby towed and he'd thought someone had stolen her – he was having a panic attack. A freaking panic attack! Hell, thinking back on it, that wasn't even the first time. What about when Sam had cut him off after two years at Stanford with his cock and bull story that he had to sever himself off from everything that reminded him of their old life? Or how about when he got stuck in that airplane with Sam, time running out as they tried to figure out who the demon was riding, before it decided to bring it and all those onboard smashing to the ground? Hell, let's go for broke -- how about when he realized he'd failed his brother after Sam got killed by Jake at Cold Oaks and he almost went insane trying to figure out what to do?

Yet this was so much worse than those times. So much worse! Probably a stinking PTSD and panic combo cocktail. But why? He'd been dealing with things. Hadn't he? He was moving forward. Making progress. Doing what he had to to bail Sammy from the pit. The means didn't matter, just the results. And he was still himself, right?

A tiny voice in the back of his mind piped in and asked him if he'd looked in the mirror lately.

"Dean?"

Aw fuck. Aw crap. Aw fucking crap. Shit! He'd forgotten all about Ruby – the demon. Here. Alone. With him. His panic skyrocketed to new heights. He tried to push himself further back into the corner, ducking his face into his arms.

No, no, no! This was not going to get the best of him, dammit! This would pass. This would pass. He almost screamed when a warm hand touched his arm.

"Are you okay?"

This wasn't right. His whole body was shaking. Dammit, she wasn't ever supposed to see him like this. This was weakness. You never showed a demon weakness. Why in hell had he ever agreed to go anywhere with her? He should have known better. He'd lived from motel to motel with his father and brother his whole life! He knew the lack of privacy that kind of existence offered. What had he been thinking?

He struggled to draw deep breaths through his nose and exhale them through his mouth. He needed to freakin' calm down. He would have hummed some Metallica but didn't think he could manage it. "Go…go away…" He cringed at the little boy voice screaming of fear and terror.

"Another nightmare?"

Wow, she even sounded concerned. It just made him that much more scared. How bad off was he when a demon would show pity for him? And she'd noticed too about his nightmares as if things weren't bad enough. He'd actually thought she hadn't caught on about his bad sleeping habits. Shit, shit, shit! This would pass. This would pass!

"You're awake now. It's all right."

Dean felt his heart give a hard lurch in his chest as her hand touched his head and caressed his sweaty hair. WTF?

"You're not alone, Dean. You don't have to suffer these things by yourself." Her voice was soft, gentle. He wasn't sure he'd ever heard her sound that way before. It wasn't right. Could he still be trapped in a nightmare?

"D-don't."

She stroked his head again, then his exposed arms. "Shshsh."

Dean froze with shock as her lips caressed then kissed the inside of his elbow, his wrist, his trembling fingers. She ran her hand lightly over his knee, his leg and back again.

He found himself having difficulty breathing, but now for other reasons. One hand pulled gently at his where they still covered his face, even as she licked the round of his ear. If nothing else, it was definitely distracting. Though fear still pulsed through his veins, it was now battling against rising hormones. Dean felt parts of him starting to twitch in response.

She kissed his ear, his sideburn, and pushing away his hand gently but insistently, brushed her lips against his cheek. She kissed his stubble, the corner of his mouth, the side of his nose. When her lips finally met his, a firecracker exploded in his insides. His Best Friend rose to definite attention.

Ruby's tongue worked her way into his mouth, almost dislodging every last thought in his head.

It'd been so long. So very very long. He hadn't indulged since before he went to Hell.

Dean felt the heat drain from his face as the thought echoed in his mind. Since before he went to Hell… This Best Friend wasn't HIS Best Friend. His was dead, done, buried! This one was his brother's. He felt the hard-on wilt down and hide away as if disowning him for having dared confuse him for another.

The fear burned away in a flash replaced by something else entirely – disgust. Disgust and anger. And he grabbed onto the latter because the former would only have him howling at the moon. He grabbed Ruby by the shoulders and shoved her back as hard as he could. "No!"

She yelped in surprise, her arms wheeling behind her to keep from slamming onto the floor. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Keep your paws off! I'm not going there, Ruby." He used the wall as support to help him get to his feet, the panic attack having left him feeling weak.

Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Why? You're flaming libido is no secret, Dean. You'll have sex with almost anything female. I've seen it. So why reject me?"

"How blind are you? This body isn't mine! It's Sam's. I can't just do whatever I feel like with it." Dean could count in one hand the number of times Sam had gone out and had sex with a woman since they started traveling together. His brother wouldn't approve of Dean using his body for his own pleasure. He would bet on it.

And it wasn't like he deserved it. None of this would be happening if not for him.

Ruby stood face tilted up, staring down her nose at him. "You're a fool. That body is yours. It's your soul in it, not your brother's. And when you free him, if you do, he won't be getting it back!"

He felt his own anger escalating. "Yeah? And I should listen to you because you've cared so much for the bodies you've borrowed?" The sarcasm dripped off him like a river.

Her eyes grew wide and he was suddenly sure she was about to throw herself at him, no holds barred, but this time to do him harm. And he wasn't in the best shape at the moment to stop her, not even with his new bag of tricks.

A heavy pounding flooded into the room from the back wall, making both of them freeze. "Shut the fuck up! Have sex and just get it over with already. Some of us need sleep!"

Without meaning to, Dean's gaze locked with Ruby's. Her hands had jumped up to her mouth like a guilty three year old. Squashed giggled slipped through her fingers. The moment she saw him looking, they got worse. Then he too found himself laughing. He didn't bother covering it up for their neighbor's benefit. This brought on some extra pounding which only made them laugh even more.

By the time they were able to stop, Dean's sides hurt like a mother. Ruby was a puddle on the ugly carpet. She slowly tried to sit up, wiping tears away from her eyes.

Whether either of them had meant this to happen or not, Dean noticed he was as far away from his panic attack as he could be. He was grateful. He also hoped to heck he wouldn't get another one like that anytime soon.

"I suppose, you might have a point." Ruby half turned away from him. "It's a stupid point, and I don't see how it makes any difference, but if that's how you feel, I'll respect it." She sent him an impish glance over her shoulder. "Just don't expect me to do the same." That said she took off her top and bounced back over toward her bed making sure he got an eyeful.

Dean swallowed hard. Whether they could afford it or not, it was time for them to start getting separate motel rooms.