Hey! It's me! And I'm back with a 21st chapter! I really hope you enjoy this, it took me longer than usual to write, but I'm pleased with it, I guess. Thank you for being awesome, I love you all so much :D Huge thanks to my amazing Beta Reader, Rebecca Ripple, for always doing a marvellous job and giving the greatest advice.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, the students wouldn't be allowed to graduate.
Rachel's P.O.V.
The date is fun. I laugh and find myself having a really good time. I just wish Santana wasn't here to ruin it. No- not physically here. But in my mind, giving her opinion on everything. Comforting me as if I'm uncomfortable. But- I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. Lucelyn is beautiful, and so nice. She pulls out my chair for me when we reach the table and makes me blush with her sweet words. I laugh politely at her jokes and smile at her personality that shines through everything she does.
"My mum told me that she would keep my dad in check. She was great about it all. I feel bad sometimes that I got it so easy." As Lucelyn retells the story of how she came out, her eyes sparkle with tears. I reach forward and take her hand, but I don't look into her eyes. I just stare at our entwined fingers.
Lucelyn swallows, and I look up at her. "So, what about you? I- You haven't told me much about your family." She says in realisation. I'm pretty much a master at avoiding that topic.
I lower my head and clear my throat. "Not much to tell, really. I don't have parents." I am ashamed that I still clam up about this topic, even with Lucelyn. I see her eyes widen out of the corner of my eye. She is silent for a second and then takes my hand, which must have slipped away from hers at some point. She bites her lip.
"Um- When did they die?" She asks awkwardly. I shake my head to myself.
"They're not dead." 'Why do people always assume that death is the only possible explanation for someone not having any parents?' I think to myself. Lucelyn must be sensing how uncomfortable I am about this topic and drops it. 'Santana wouldn't have dropped it that easily.' A voice in my head says.
For the rest of the date we discuss primary school, and favourite TV shows. At some point I look into her eyes and realise that I am really lucky to have such a smart, kind, selfless and happy girlfriend. What else could there be? 'Santana.' The voice says. 'Shut up.' I tell it.
Santana's P.O.V
Suddenly they're everywhere. Every corridor, every classroom I see them- holding hands, or hugging or kissing. Even when they're not there, I expect them to be. I brace myself to see them every time I turn a corner. When I do see Rachel by herself, I can't bring myself to talk to her. I find myself staring at her and I look away because I can't do that. When I see Lucelyn by herself, my blood boils and I want to- I don't even know what I would do to her if I could.
The thought of having Rachel crosses my mind every day. What if it were me, holding her hand, feeling her arms around me. What if I were the one she kissed, because she is madly in love with me. Reality hits harder each time. The only reason I'm not going insane is because Brittany manages to keep all three of us in touch. We may not have been as close as we were before, but at least we are not completely cut off from each other. Maybe that would have been better.
I am walking to my locker when I see Lucelyn. Without Rachel. Just walking with her books, casually, a smile on her face. Well, who wouldn't be if they had Rachel? Something snaps in me and I step in front of her, blocking her. She is so surprised that she almost drops her books, but steadies herself just in time. What a shame.
"Lucy, is it?" I say, getting her name wrong on purpose. I continue before she can correct me. "Look, I know you're going out with Rachel. I know you like her. Who wouldn't? She's beautiful, smart, funny, lovely and innocent. But you listen here. If you hurt her, don't bother coming back to this school. I can make your life a living hell." The words come out colder than I expected them to, but I don't waver. "Do I make myself clear?" My voice is dangerously soft, and for the first time in a very long time, I feel in control.
Lucelyn nods, her eyes wide. I smirk and turn on my heel, walking in the opposite direction. I turn the corner and see Rachel walking in the direction I came from, and I lower my head, avoiding eye contact. Suddenly I almost regret what I did. Almost.
Rachel's P.O.V
I turn my head as I pass Santana, staring at her as she walks down the hallway. Not looking at where I am going, I bump into someone. I turn back around to see who it is.
"I'm so sor- Oh, sorry Lucelyn." I smile when I see who it is, hoping she didn't catch me staring at Santana. Apparently she did, because she is looking in the direction I had been looking just seconds previous, a melancholy expression on her face.
"Lucelyn... What's wrong?" I say softly, biting my lip and staring up at her face.
"You like her, don't you? Even if it's just a little." She doesn't look at me and I touch her arm. She leans away slowly.
"I- um." I don't want to lie to Lucelyn. I really don't. She would never lie to me and I really like what we have. So I tell the truth. Half the truth, anyway.
"I have had feelings for her, in the past. But there's nothing left of that. There's only one person I have any sort of crush on now, and that's you." I look at her and finally her eyes meet mine. I smile to convince her. She studies my face and my smile fades slightly. It's a while before either of us say anything.
"I don't believe that there's nothing left of your feelings for her." My smile vanishes completely. "But- I do believe that you and I are really good together and as long as we are faithful and truthful to each other, we can make this work. This- this is worth fighting for."
I nod solemnly and Lucelyn tentatively puts her arms around me. I rest my head on her shoulder and hug her back. "I- um, want to do something for you." I say softly into her ear.
"Yeah?" Lucelyn pulls back and smiles, and my face relaxes, although her smile is still somewhat restrained.
"Yeah." I make up my mind, nodding. I take her hand and lead her to the auditorium.
"What are we doing here?" Lucelyn says, frowning. I check to see that it is empty and then enter, leading her to one of the seats.
"Just a second." I say as I run up the stairs to the stage two at a time. I stand in the center of the stage and grin down at my girlfriend. I clear my throat and, even though I'm a bit worried that she might be scared off by some of the lyrics, start singing.
She and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved her so but I let her go
'Cause I knew she'd never love me back
Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious
Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though she's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.
You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred,
But I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be
She's disappearing, fading steadily
Well, I'm so close to being yours,
Won't you stay with me, please
Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though she's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you
I only know that
I am better where you are
I only know that
I am better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are
Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though she's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you
I finish the song, knowing that every word is true. I didn't want to lie to Lucelyn, and now I have told her exactly how I feel in the best way I know how. I step down from the stage and stand in front of Lucelyn. "What did you think?" I say, unable to read her expression.
"It was beautiful. Not just your voice, the lyrics were great, too, and it was just- perfect. Thank you." She smiles at me again and I smile back, out of habit. I want to be completely truthful with her, but that doesn't mean I should tell her that I wish Santana had been there to hear me sing so she'd know how I felt, too.
I hope you enjoyed it, and read the lyrics, as I felt they fit really well and meant a lot. Thank you SO MUCH TO: Guest, JustLikeBrookeDavis, JWilson18, snowdrop1026, RachArchangels, cburton1995, BroadwayTheaterGleek, CarolineSC, EbOnY998, Anonymouse (Guest), BellaDora Soulmates and Atsirk Enoh. I don't know what I'd do without you guys. I feel so happy when I see an email saying I have a new review. You have know idea how happy it makes me to know that you like what I'm writing. So Thanks! You review, and I'll have a new chapter up soon. Deal? ;)