My Big Fat Ninja Wedding
Chapter 21
The little family dinner was going along fine until Tayuya opened her big mouth, "So, Sakura, how's he ride?"
Kidoumaru dropped his glass, barely noticing as it shattered on the floor.
How could she ask that, and in front of my mother!
Keiko turned bright red and Sakura started to cough.
"What?"
"How's he ride? Shikamaru here," Shikamaru moaned and lay his head on the table, "He's not nearly as #! Lazy as he seems. He's got a lot of #! Energy . . ."
"Tayuya," Sakura said through gritted teeth, "Let's not talk about that . . ."
Kidoumaru was still staring slack-jawed at the kunoichi. "I better clean up this glass." Kidoumaru said distractedly, he jumped up and ran into the kitchen for a broom and dust pan.
Tayuya looked around innocently, "What? Was it something I said?"
...
The next morning,
"Hey, freaks!" The Twins turned to see Tayuya standing behind them,
"What?"
Tayuya sighed, "I need some #! advice . . ."
Ukon smirked, "I advise you to get plastic surgery for your face and medication for your Tourette's Syndrome."
Tayuya snarled, "You're one to #! talk." She sighed, "I just wanted to know what color lipstick you wear."
" Aquamarine, usually," Sakon said, "Sometimes Powder Blue."
"Shut up!" Ukon turned to Tayuya, "We're not #! Sissies! This," He pointed to his lips, "Is a statement."
"Yeah. A statement that you're a sissy-boy." The Twins spun around to see a smirking Kiba behind them.
"Go hump somebody's' leg, Dog-Face."
"Awww, what's wrong, Ukon? That time of the month?"
Tayuya began to laugh loudly, "Tell him, Mutt!"
Kiba shook his head, "Just teasing. I guess you could call it payback."
"I call it #! Annoying." Ukon growled, "Almost as annoying as that self-righteous Puppet-Boy."
"What do you have against Maki, other than his bad taste in heroes and terrible sense of fashion?" Kiba laughed, "Kankurou can be an annoying, stuck-up creep, but he's still my brother-in-law and he did save Akamaru and me from you two sickos."
"You bathe with a dog and we're the sickos?" Ukon shook his head, "That's just wrong, man."
"Hey, I know I can trust Akamaru, that's more than I can say for you."
Sakon smiled, "Shall we teach Dog-Boy a lesson, brother?"
Ukon grinned widely, "Indeed, brother."
...
Iruka walked into his classroom and saw Mizuki leaning against the blackboard like he'd used to do when he taught beside him, looking over the empty classroom.
"Mizuki?"
Mizuki turned, "Hey, 'Ruka. I was just thinking about the old days." He smiled and nodded toward a certain desk, "Remember that time Akamaru relieved himself on Shikamaru?"
Iruka laughed, "Yeah, and the bum still didn't wake up! If he'd have slipped into a coma, no one would have known the difference!"
Mizuki laughed and looked at another desk, "How about that morning Lee decided to try coffee? He was literally bouncing off the walls!"
"You can still see the dents . . ." He walked over to the window, "And here's where Sasuke was always brooding," he turned around, "And this is the desk that Ino and Sakura always fought over so they could be closer to Sasuke . . ." He smiled, "In the end, they both found love somewhere else." He walked over to a desk near the center of the room and looked down at it sadly, "And here was where Naruto always sat," he paused, "surrounded by people and totally alone."
"He's not alone now, 'Zuki. He's forgiven you, and so have I. You know," He smiled, "I don't think anyone would object too much if you came back."
Mizuki grinned, "You always were too trusting of people. No one who knows what I did would want me around their kids."
Iruka sighed, "The Naraku family knows what happened. And, I'm sorry to say, because it was Naruto you tried to kill, not many people, older, stupid people at least, really cared ."
Mizuki's eyes hardened, "I don't want the approval of people like that. I'm happy in Kusagakure. I still work with kids, kinda. Most of the customers at the restaurant act like spoiled brats . . ." They both laughed.
"It takes the patience of a saint to be a teacher or a restaurant worker," Iruka said, "A lot of us just go nuts."
"You're a great guy, 'Ruka."
The two hugged and the sound of laughter filled the room, "I WAS RIGHT!" A voice came from the doorway. Both men turned and rushed after the cackling Zaku.
...
"Hey, you! Ichi!"
"It's Eikichi." Naraku Eikichi turned toward Tayuya and the Twins,
"Whatever, what color lipstick are you wearing? Powder Blue?"
Eikichi sighed, "Ice Blue. And you? Looks like Aquamarine."
Sakon smiled, "You have a good eye for colors."
"He looks like a #! Explosion in a paint factory." Tayuya said, the Naraku had gone all-out with his colors, from his blue and white hair to his electric blue eyeliner and white-powdered face. Eikichi looked at the kunoichi critically, "This from a girl who looks like something that came out of a dog's rear end."
Sakon and Ukon fell to the ground laughing as Tayuya turned bright red, "At least I'm not so #! Ugly I have to wear six pounds of #! Make-up to cover my face!"
"Wait, that's your face? I thought you were mooning me!"
Sakon and Ukon were helplessly rolling on the ground, gasping for air between fits of laughter.
Tayuya rolled up her sleeves and stalked forward, "Oh, that's it! Prepare to #! Suffer!"
Within seconds Tayuya was on her back, the boy's foot on her chest, "Don't try it. I'm stronger than I look."
"WOAH!" Kidoumaru sped over, "Hey, Eikichi, I know how tempting it is to want to kill Tayuya, but she's my sister-in-law, she's kind of family."
"Kind of family?!" Tayuya rose to her feet, "#! YOU!" She shot everyone present a bird, then stormed off.
"Charming girl." Eikichi said, then slung an arm around the Twin's shoulders, "C'mon and show me where you buy your make-up."
...
Kidoumaru shook his head and walked back to where Sakura and Keiko were waiting. "Just arguing over who had better make-up."
Keiko sighed, "Boys wearing make-up . . . Is it just me, or is the world getting really weird?"
Sakura gave her a pat on the back, "No, it's not just you, the world is getting really weird..."
To be continued...