Chapter Twenty-One: Home (Part Three)
Campbell pushed himself through the door of Riley's home with his two older siblings trailing close behind him. Entering the foyer, they had been bombarded by a large group of people and seeing over the crowd had proven more difficult then they had anticipated. Sticking close together, they pushed through the crowd; trying to find some trace of Carly. She had to be here. Every kid in town had to have been at this party and their sister was probably no exception. Everyone knew of Riley Johnson's parties. Even Campbell had been to a few with Isabella before his decision to move to Toronto. But Carly didn't belong here. Cam knew she was far too young to attend a high school party.
"Well I'll be damned!" the siblings heard someone yell as the music drowned out causing them to turn their attention to the male speaker, "looks like we got all the Saunders siblings here tonight folks. Surprising considering they all are too damn good for this town and everyone in it."
"Put a sock in it Johnson. We aren't here for you," Justin spat.
"Of course not. You're all too good for us aren't you?" Riley retaliated. Cam could feel his body lurch from underneath him. How dare Riley, of all people, insult his family the way he had? Clenching his fists, Cam wanted his hand to collide with Riley's jaw but he felt a smaller hand fall on his shoulder.
"He's not worth it Cam. Besides we need to get Carly. Leave the drunk child alone to wallow in his own self pity," Isabella said.
They watched as Riley raised his cup filled hands in the air drunkenly before returning back to the people he was talking with. Everyone around him had been drunkenly laughing. As the music began to fill the room once more, Isabella surveyed her surroundings as Justin and Campbell went in their own direction. Please dear God. Please make sure Carly is okay, she thought to herself as she scanned the room for the umpteenth time.
"Isabella Saunders? God, it's been awhile," she heard someone say. Turning around, she had seen Jake and walked over to give him a friendly hug.
"It's good to see you again Jake," she stated, "how have you been?"
"Pretty good. I got into Algoma U so I'm moving to Sault St. Marie at the end of August. Toronto must be treating you well. You look like a totally different person."
"Congratulations. Looks like more than one of us is getting out of here. Toronto's great. I love it!"
"He doesn't know your back does he?" Jake asked her taking her completely by surprise. All she could do was shake her head. She hadn't told him that she'd be coming back and it hadn't been his business anyways as far as she was concerned.
"He misses you, you know," Jake stated, "he hasn't been the same since you left."
"He did what he did and maybe it's for the best. Not every relationship lasts forever right?"
"I guess not. Just don't be a stranger, okay? It's weird not having you around anymore," Jake said as he placed a light hand on her forearm. Smiling, Isabella nodded her head. Although her and Jake had never been close friends he had always been so accepting of her and Josh's relationship. Sucking in a breath, Isabella turned on her heels. She needed to find Carly. She'd deal with her past later.
~Degrassi~
Cam had looked around every square inch of that house and he still couldn't find her. From bathrooms, to living rooms, even bedrooms (bedrooms that he prayed he wouldn't find his sister in with some guy), there had been absolutely no trace of Carly. As he made his way through the crowd once more, he ended up in the backyard. Riley's backyard was different than most of the residents in Kapusaksing. Having a home backing off the a forest had been a pretty genius idea Cam thought. Looking in the distance, he noticed a small group of people standing beside a bonfire. As he inched closer her heard it. The little, contagious laugh that only belonged to one person. Carly.
As he continued to inch closer to the blazing fire, he could see her surrounded by a bunch of his former classmates. He could also see her stumbling and hanging on limply onto one of the older boys. Quickening his pace, he saw his sister turn to face him; her face turning a ghostly white upon his arrival. To say he was livid was an understatement. His thirteen year old sister was plastered and hanging onto boys she barely knew. He had barely heard what the boys were saying to him, and he hadn't cared, as he threw her over his shoulder and made his way back inside the house; noticing that his two older siblings had been waiting for him by the back door. Pushing their way through all the people, they had finally managed to get to the front door only to have Riley block them in.
"Aww are the Saunders siblings leaving so soon? Your little sister really is the life of the party" he teased mockingly.
"What the hell is wrong with you? She's thirteen for fuck sakes," Justin yelled at him.
"Oh relax. If I remember correctly, Justin Saunders was the king of the kegger way back when. What college boy too good for high school parties now?" Riley challenged.
"Shut your mouth," Justin spat, his eyes squinting in disgust. He always hated Riley Johnson. Especially now. As Riley knocked into Justin's shoulder lightly, he walked past the siblings only to have Carly throw up on him over Cam's shoulder; her vomit narrowly missing Cam and his clothes. As Riley looked down in disgust, Campbell, Justin, and Isabella fell into a fit of laughter. As upset as they had been with their sister that had been the funniest thing that they had witnessed throughout the entire night.
"And that is how us Saunders make an exit. Karma's a bitch Johnson," Isabella said as she slammed the door behind her. As they walked down the street, Campbell in front of them with Carly over his shoulder, they watched as Carly raised her head up weakly.
"I'm busted aren't I?" she asked drunkenly.
"Oh yeah!" they said into the darkness as they made their way home.
~Degrassi~
Two. That had been the number of times Carly found herself running to the bathroom after her siblings found her at Riley Johnson's party. After emptying out the contents of her stomach, she made her way back into her bed; the room spinning from all the alcohol that her body had taken in. She didn't know why she had done it. Why had she chose to sneak out and get herself wasted at a high school party? Normally, she was smarter than this. Even she knew that but lately, she had become tired of being compared to her siblings. No one even noticed her anyways. Carly Rae Saunders had just been another Saunders kid. No special talents. Mediocre at best. At least that's how she saw herself. She wasn't athletic like Cam. She wasn't as social or funny as Justin was. And she surely, wasn't as pretty as Isabella. Even Dylan, who was six, had more social skills and friends then she had. So why couldn't she go to a party? Why couldn't she have fun? Her older siblings did it all the time when they had been home; sliding down the shoot past curfew and never getting caught. So why had she been the one to get her ass lugged home? They had no right to embarrass her. They wouldn't even remember her when they went back to their old lives.
Throwing the blanket over her head, she refused to let the tears fall from her eyes. Physically, she felt fine (the last two trips to the bathroom had really helped) but emotionally and mentally she felt sick to her stomach. She hated being the second youngest. Everyone had always forgotten about her. She should have been used to this by now; at least she thought she should have. Sniffling back her tears, she heard her bedroom door click open as the light began to fill her room. The covers had now been ripped off from over her head and the light had only made her head pound that much more. Squinting, she made out the three figures. The three figures that had pulled her drunk, stupid ass out of that stupid party.
"Go away," she moaned trying to snatch the covers back from her eldest brother who only clenched them tighter in his hand.
"No chance in hell. I want answers young lady. Do you know how much danger you put yourself in tonight?" he half-screamed at her.
"I didn't know you were my father. Let it go, would you Just? I already apologized. I puked twice! Isn't that enough!" Carly responded right back.
"No Car, it isn't. What the hell were you thinking? Do you get how scared we were?" Cam chimed in after her.
"No one asked you to come check on me," she spat towards Cam. Her words were venomous.
"Thank God I did! Who knows what could have happened to you tonight. Look if you wanted to go to that party you could have just asked us. One of us would have gone with you," Isabella said softly. Having two brothers scream at you was worse than having all the three of them yell at her and Isabella had been genuinely concerned for her sister's well-being.
"I don't need my siblings babysitting me at a party. I knew what I was doing! Now if you'll all leave me alone that would be great!" Carly said sarcastically as she made her way out of her bed and held her bedroom door open for them. She noticed that they weren't moving.
"Well..." she began, "what the hell are you all waiting for? I don't want you in here."
"We aren't leaving. Who are you Car? Because I don't like this version of you. We just want to talk to you!" Justin yelled.
"None of you know who the fuck am I! I don't even know who I am! So back the hell off! You think it's easy being compared to the three of you. Carly, shouldn't you be more athletic? Campbell is. Carly, how come you don't have a boyfriend? Izzy did at you age. Carly, don't you think you should try being more social like Justin? Isabella that. Campbell this. Justin that. I am so sick of people telling me who I should be! And I have the three of you to thank for that, don't I?! You made me this way! I am not the same thirteen year old girl you all chose to leave behind. Now... GET. OUT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as a single tear fell upon her cheek. Pulling her sister into an embrace, Isabella kissed the top of her head as she stared at Justin and Cam. They hadn't known she was feeling this way but it surely had explained her unexplained behaviour. As Carly sobbed in her arms, Isabella felt her throat closing and mentally prayed to herself that she could hold it together.
"It's okay... shhhh..." Isabella soothed gripping her sister tighter as Justin made his way over to them. Without thinking, Isabella extended her hand towards Cam. Regardless if they had been fighting their sister needed all of them right now. She hadn't expected Cam to grab her hand but when he had, she couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of elation as she pulled him in.
"I didn't mean to scare you guys. What I did was really stupid and I'm really sorry. You only tried to help me and I yelled at you. It just sucks to know I'm not good enough," Carly mumbled. Wiping her tears off her face, Isabella bent down to her eye level.
"You are more than good enough. You don't have to be like us; nobody expects you to be. That's what makes you special Car. You were the one who taught me to never be afraid to stand up for what I believed in and I'm, sure as hell, not as smart as you. You can remember every little detail even if you've only heard it once. I actually have to study to pass school. But you, you don't."
"Yeah Car," Justin interjected, "Besides who else would have helped me research all those colleges. You know more stuff than anyone I know. Remember that time I came home really drunk? You really had my back that night. You even let me stay in your room because you didn't want something bad to happen to me and you hate sharing your bed."
"You're the good one little sis," Cam chimed in next, "but that isn't a bad thing. You're the only person in an arena full of people that screams the loudest because she proud of her older brother. You're the least selfish person that I know. We love you Carly. We don't care that you left. We don't care that you had one to many drinks. What we care about is that you're safe. We're family. Us Saunders got to stick together remember?"
"Then why did you guys all leave? Why do we fight all the time?" Carly asked meekly.
"We're siblings. We're bound to fight. Ninety percent of the time, Justin is an enormous pain in my ass and I want to strangle him but I'd kill for him any day. The same goes for the rest of you. Carly, we never meant to make you feel like we left you. It was just something we needed to do for us. But now you get to be Dylan's example just like we were yours. Besides, he has it worse if you think about it. He's got all four of our personalities to fight off," Isabella joked causing her sister and brothers to laugh.
"I never thought about it that way. You aren't going to tell mom and dad... are you?" she questioned. Cam, Isabella, and Justin look at each other.
"Nah. Each one of us gets a free pass. This time it's your turn alright kiddo?" Justin said, tapping her on the nose. Carly nodded her head at least their parents wouldn't find out and her siblings were being really cool about it all. As she wiped the tears and messy makeup from under her eyes, Carly could see Maya knocking lightly on her door as she other hand was clasped onto Dylan's.
"Sorry to interrupt but someone wanted to say goodnight. He passed out on the couch after you guys left. Your parents left a message on the answering machine saying they'd be staying at their friends house. I figured it would be rude of me and suspicious to pick up the phone. I'm really glad you're okay though Carly," Maya said timidly, letting go of Dylan's hand and making her way over to Cam's side. She could feel Cam place his arm around her small waist. She was happy that Carly was home and in one piece. She had never seen Cam that worried about someone before.
"Thanks Maya. Me too. I'm sorry I was so rude to you earlier but you're really good for him, you know. I've never seen my brother this happy in awhile," Carly said sincerely. Muttering a quiet and shy 'thank you', Maya felt Cam's lips on the side of her head and a blush creeping on her face. At the start of the day, she felt like Carly hadn't liked her. Now, she felt more comfortable around her.
"Sissy... why do you look like Bozo The Clown?" Dylan questioned curiously, tilting his head to one side as he touched the ruined makeup that fell on Carly's face. Chuckling lightly, Carly picked him up and placed him on her lap.
"You're a funny kid, you know that?"
"I know! But you're just funny looking!" Dylan replied. Feigning hurt as she yelled a playful "hey," Carly began to tickle Dylan sides. She missed having her family all in one place and she really did like having Maya around, even if she had only really known her for less than 24 hours.
"Alright kiddo, it's bedtime. Go brush your teeth then I'll come tuck you in," Isabella said as she ushered Dylan out of the room, "the rest of us should probably get some sleep too. Oh and Carly... you might wanna wash that makeup off your face. Acne is not a good look. You've been blessed with nice skin, it'll just ruin it."
"Jesus sometimes that woman can be so damn pushy," Justin stated, shaking his head and walking out of Carly's room. Campbell could only shake his head as he and Maya made their way to his room. Everyone was safe and in one piece and that was all he truly cared about.
~Degrassi~
Isabella figured that she would have been able to sleep once she was in her own bed in Kapusaksing but even here sleep was hard to come by. She couldn't figure out why her mind was playing tricks on her. Campbell was fine. He was no where near Degrassi or the greenhouse. He hadn't had an episode in weeks and he was still seeing his therapist. Groaning, she sat up in her bed and running her hands through her hair. Now she was annoyed. In the last week, she maybe have about 10 hours of sleep and physically she was beginning to feel the repercussions of it all. Even after the events of tonight, her mind still wouldn't let her be at peace. Watching the clock, she saw the minutes pass. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Watch the walls? Do more designs? No, she couldn't because she'd wake everyone in her house up. Sighing once more, she could hear her cell phone vibrate on the beside table. Looking at the caller ID, she smiled at the name as she slid her hand across the phone and put it to her ear.
"You must be psychic or something," she answered causing the voice on the other end to laugh.
"No, I just know you. It's so good to hear your voice babe. I miss you," Owen replied. Leaning her head on the backboard of her bed, she smiled once more.
"It's really good to hear your voice too," she began, "I miss you too. I'm sorry I didn't call. It's a lot busier in this house then I remembered. But how was hockey practice? Was it weird without the entire team there?"
"Hey, don't worry about it. You don't get to see your family very often so I understand. Hockey was alright, nothing really exciting to report but you should let Cam know that Dallas scheduled a practice on the first day back in the morning at around 6."
"Yeah, that is if Cam will talk to me," she replied.
"Still not talking to you eh? It's okay, he'll come around. Maybe being home will change something in him," Owen said thoughtfully.
"I doubt it. God, Owen when the hell did everything get so complicated?" she whispered into the darkness. She had not only been asking this of Owen but of herself.
"What's on your mind?" he asked, his voice filled with a mixture of worry and concern.
"Everything. Cam won't talk to me. My little sister thinks she isn't good enough. And I haven't even seen Josh yet but I know he'll be at the party my mom is holding for us later on today. This place doesn't even feel like home anymore."
"Well you only have six days there right? Isn't it better just to make the most of it then to have it eat you alive? Look, I'm positive Cam will talk to you again and I'm sure Carly is just trying to figure out who she is. As for Josh, if he gets anywhere near you I'll personally drive my ass down to Kapusaksing and punch him square in the jaw," Owen joked as Isabella chuckled lightly. She couldn't believe that Owen had remembered her little sister's name and that he had been so willing to protect her.
"My hero," she chuckled as he laughed too, "but you're right. I just have to let everything take it's course."
"That's my girl. You'll be okay. I promise."
"Are you sure you can't just drive down to Kapusaksing? It would make everything much more enjoyable."
"I wish I could baby girl. But if I am not at hockey I'm pretty sure Dallas will ream my sorry ass," he explained.
"Good ol' Dallas," Isabella said as the thunder began to roar outside. Thank God they had gotten Carly out of that party before the storm. As she settled the phone on her ear, she watched as her door creaked open slightly; Dylan's tiny head poking out from behind her door.
"Owen hold on a second okay," Isabella said as she ushered Dylan into her room. Patting the empty spot beside her bed, she watched as Dylan jumped on it and hide himself under the covers. Isabella could only chuckle to herself. He was like every other Saunders kid; terrified of the thunder and lightening.
"Sorry Owen but it appears that I have little monster hiding in my bed," she said playfully, tickling Dylan lightly. On the other end, Owen could hear the tiny voice giggle. He liked this version of Isabella. He loved that she took on the older sister role with such ease. He only had Tristan but sometimes he wished he took more care of Tristan when they were younger. It's never too late to start, he thought to himself as he continued to hear the infectious giggle that now plastered a smile on his face.
"Do you want to say hi to Owen?" his girlfriend's voice rang through the phone. After hearing a small 'yeah' he accepted her request to FaceTime. After waiting for their cell phones to connect, he came face to face with her and her brother, or as he would refer to him as the miniature version of Cam. It was scary how most of the Saunders siblings look alike yet Campbell and Isabella could not have looked more opposite.
"Hey you," he said. He took notice to her appearance and saw that here hair had changed in colour, "nice hair. I love it."
"Hey yourself and thanks. Dylan, what do you say to Owen?" he heard her ask her younger sibling sternly.
"Hi Owen!" he beamed. The little boy, Owen noticed, couldn't be more then five/six years old. He hadn't known Campbell or Isabella to have such a young sibling.
"Hey little dude. It's nice to meet you. What's got you up so late?"
"Nice to meet you too! Thunderstorms. They're kind of scary," the little kid said into the phone.
"Yeah, I know what you mean but at least you got your big sister to protect you right?"
"Yeah! Izzy is so awesome!" the little boy yelled.
"You're sister is pretty awesome," Owen agreed which earned him a wink from Isabella. He watched as she went back to look at her little brother. He had been so entranced by her that he could barely make out what Dylan was saying.
"Hey! Cool Avengers poster! Where'd you get it?" he finally heard the little boy ask. Looking behind him, he had noticed that the poster was indeed tapped up to the wall behind his bed. He couldn't help but blush in embarrassment. He never wanted his girlfriend to see his dorky poster on his wall.
"I got it when I went to see the movie. Have you seen it yet?" Owen asked. He saw the little boy shake his head sadly.
"Too much violence mommy said. But I still think they're really cool even if Mommy doesn't," Dylan stated sadly; his bottom lip forming into a small pout.
"Well I can send you the poster if you want. I don't really need it anymore," Owen offered as Dylan's eyes lite up. Isabella had sent his a questioning look.
"Really? Awesome!" Dylan yelled.
"That's really nice of Owen, Dylan. What do you say to Owen?" Isabella asked her youngest sibling.
"Thank you!" he said gratefully as a huge grin formed on his face, "I like him."
"Not a problem little man. Sleep tight okay. Just remember any superhero can handle a thunderstorm," Owen said trying his best to speak to a child properly. He had no experience talking to kids. All of cousins had gotten older and there were no kids around.
"You really think I'm a superhero?" Dylan asked excitedly.
"Dude, absolutely! But you gotta get to sleep okay? Superheroes need their rest."
"You got it dude! Night!" Dylan said as he flew under the covers again, closing his little eyes tightly.
"I should get him to sleep. I'll talk to you later Superman. Thanks for being so nice to him. Goodnight," Isabella said, blowing him a kiss. He sent her a small wave and a wink before they disconnected. It was crazy how much he missed her. Just six more days. Six more days and she was his again.
~Degrassi~
He couldn't sleep and he had the stupid storm to thank for that. Actually, he had everything to thank for that. First, it had been Isabella and their argument that occurred during the week. Secondly, it had been Carly; who thought she wasn't good enough. Finally, the storm raging outside had been too incredibly loud for him to hear himself think. As he looked to his right, he could see Maya's sleeping form. Clad in a tank top and shorts, she looked like an angel as her messy hair feel freely in front of her face. In Cam's eyes, she was perfect. She was his perfect thing and he would be lying to himself and everyone if he hadn't thought that she was his forever. He wanted to spend every waking minute with her and waking up next to her had always been the best feeling in the world to him. If this was going to be his forever then he would never complain about how crappy his life got when his emotions became too hard to bare.
"Cheesy, you're burning a hole through my head," he heard Maya say as her eyes remained shut. Taking one look at her, he couldn't help but feel confused. How could she tell he was awake when she hadn't opened her eyes once. Furthermore how could she even know that he was staring at her?
"Do you have like a third eye?" he whispered in the darkness.
"Campbell. My eyes don't have to be open to know what's going on with you," she said, finally opening one eye to stare at him.
"Funny. I think the same thing about you sometimes," he said as he intertwined their fingers.
"If you want to talk to Isabella then just do it. I know you miss her and I know she misses you. She made a mistake Cam and as for Carly, I know what she's going through. It's hard having older siblings who lead by examples. Hell, my first week at Degrassi was 'Praise Katie Matlin Week.' She'll get over it. Come on, can you honestly lie here and tell me that you never felt what she did?"
Sighing, he turned his attention over to her as he kissed her hand before responding:
"I hate it when you're right."
"I know. But you're just going to have to get used to it," she joked before snuggling into his side and laying her head on his bare chest. Ever since their first time, Maya had grown accustom to Cam sleeping without a shirt on and frankly, she hadn't minded in the slightest. He was definitely a hockey player under all those layers of clothing. Stifling back a yawn, she felt Cam throw his arm around her body as he kissed her forehead.
"Yes dear," he agreed, sounding like his father when he spoke to his mother, "hey Maya. Thanks for letting me be your boyfriend."
"You're welcome. Besides if it wasn't going to be you, it probably would have been Zig," she stated cheekily as a laugh spilled from her mouth while Campbell shook his head. Thank God it hadn't been Zig. Never having Maya? That would have been some sick, cruel joke but at least they could laugh about it. Maya had been completely honest with him about her former feelings for Zig at the beginning of the year and he trusted her when she said that she hadn't loved anyone quite like she loved him. Maya was his girlfriend and Zig was his best friend. He trusted them. They were friends. Nothing more and nothing less.
"Goodnight dork," he told her before capturing his lips onto hers. As he held her close, he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. He could definitely get used to doing this for the rest of his life.
~Degrassi~
Morning came and went and Campbell and Maya now found themselves trying to find an appropriate outfit for this evenings party. Maya was nervous. Not only did she have to introduce herself to everyone but she had to introduce herself to everyone as Campbell's girlfriend. She had no doubts that his former classmates and teammates would be here this evening and she wanted to leave a good impression. As she dug through her clothing, she could hear Campbell laughing behind her. Turning around, she pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips.
"Something amusing?" she teased. With a huge smile on his face, Campbell shook his head.
"No. Aside from the fact that my room looks like a tornado swept through it. What are you stressing about? They're all going to love you," he said as he buttoned up his dress shirt.
"This is big Cam. This is like you're entire life coming into one house. I want them to like me!"
"And you think an outfit is going to determine whether someone likes you or not?" he mused, "trust me, they're going to meet you and instantly fall in love with you exactly like I did. So stop the panicking would ya?" he joked as he made his way over to her and tucked the stray hair behind her ear.
"Alright, alright. But if they don't like me, it's your fault," she teased pointing her finger at him. Giving her the infamous Campbell Saunders smile, he kissed her quickly. He really wished that they had some alone time but living in a house with four siblings proved to be incredibly difficult. He needed to do something but he never believed himself to be the romantic type. He was just Cam. So incredibly awkward and unromantic.
"Hey guys," he heard someone say in the doorway, "Mom just wanted to let you know that people will be here any minute. Just wanted to check to see if you needed my help with anything."
He noticed his sister's appearance. She was clad in skinny jeans, black, high heeled boots, a black tank top, and she donning tons of bracelets and a giant necklace. Her newly brunette hair had been curled and she had very light makeup on. To Cam, he could never remember a time where his sister didn't look pretty. Maybe he should take Maya's advice. Maybe he should just talk to her. It couldn't hurt would it?
"Help me!" Maya pleaded taking Cam out of his thoughts. He'd talk to her later. Everything would be fine. He watched as his sister made her way over to Maya's clothes and pulled out an outfit for her. As Maya changed, Isabella exited his room and made her way back in within moments. Coming in with her straightener, makeup bag, and jewelry, she began to work on Maya; having her finished in under ten minutes. Cam had to hand it to his sister, she really had been a miracle worker when it came to fashion. Hearing the doorbell ring, he took Maya's hand in his. As the three of them walked down the stairs, they sucked in a breath only hearing Isabella's barely audible voice as they stared at the door:
"Showtime."
~Degrassi~
Isabella needed to find some place to hide and the kitchen seemed like the perfect spot. There had been so many people that Isabella could barely breathe. She hadn't known why her mother had insisted on inviting so many people. This was more of a get together for their parents then it was for them. Sure, Cam had Maya, Mark, and Tyler around him but she barely spoke to anyone from Kapusaksing when she moved to Toronto. At least Josh hadn't shown up with his parents. That was always a good sign. She wasn't ready to face him yet and she certainly would not be facing off with him in her parents home. Only three people knew what truly ended their relationship aside from her and Josh: Justin, Owen, and Kelly. She hadn't known if Jake knew nor did she care. She was over Josh. He wasn't the one who would cause the ache in her heart anymore. She wouldn't let him. Not anymore.
"Just giving you a heads up that Mr. Cheater just walked through the door. He seems to be on the lookout for you. Need me to punch him?" she heard Justin ask her from behind. Turning around, she placed her hands on the counter behind him; her knuckles turning white from grasping the counter after the news that her ex had now been in her house.
"No one knows okay so just please keep your voice down! You don't need to punch him. There's so many people here, maybe I could just hide from..." Isabella trailed all too loudly. She needed to convince herself that he wouldn't find her. She didn't want to talk to him.
"Hide from who?" they heard another voice ask. Glancing at the walkway blankly, they noticed Cam and Maya walk into the kitchen hand in hand.
"Mom," Isabella blurted out quickly, "she's been driving us crazy. What are you guys up too?" She desperately wanted to change the subject. If Cam saw Josh, they would undoubtedly have a conversation with one another.
"Lots of people and not enough breathing room. But I was wondering if you and I could talk later about that thing we left behind in Toronto," Cam stated, hinting towards their fight. Isabella's eyes widened in surprise. She never expected Cam to talk to her. She knew they'd talk eventually but she had always envisioned herself trying to mend fences.
"Yeah," she said quickly, taking herself out of her thoughts, "we can definitely talk about that thing we left behind in Toronto."
"Whatever this "thing" is, you don't have to be so sneaky about it. I really don't care that much about your high school drama," Justin teased 'causing Isabella to slap him upside head. Muttering an "ow," Justin rubbed the back of his head and headed out the kitchen; Maya and Campbell following behind him. Chuckling to herself, Isabella opened up the screen door that lead her to the backyard. As she stood outside she wrapped her arms around herself to shield it from the cold.
"You're a hard woman to find Isabella Saunders," she heard causing her body to tense, "why didn't you tell me you were back? I had to hear it from Jake."
Turning around, she narrowed her eyes towards the person. She could feel the words leave her mouth just as venom left a rattlesnake upon it's attack. Everything she had felt in the past months had finally caught up to her and she was ready to explode:
"I don't owe you anything Josh. No explanations. Nothing. You're a ghost to me now."
"Are we actually going to do this? Pretend like five years of dating meant nothing? Pretend that 17 years of friendship doesn't matter? We loved each other Is. Dammit Izzy, I'm still in love you!"
"Well you should have thought about how much you loved me before you jumped on that slut! Do you even understand how badly you destroyed me! I never did anything but be honest with you. You left!You never answered your phone! You never answered any of my text messages! You made your choices. Live with them!"
"I left because my girlfriend told me she was planning on moving 12 hours away without me! Would you have answered my text messages and phone calls if I had done that to you? I explained to you that I left because I didn't want to say something that I would regret," he explained. Shaking her head, Isabella scoffed in disbelief.
"So sleeping with someone, who isn't your girlfriend, is just that much better right? You are so unbelievable that it actually astounds me," she bit back throwing her hands up in the air in disbelief before brushing past him and walking back into the house.
"Isabella, where the hell are you going?!" he yelled as he followed her into the house. He was having this conversation whether people were in the room or not. He wanted her back and desperately so. But his ideal, casual conversation had turned into a screaming match.
"I'm walking away before I say something that I'm going to regret. You should know all about that, don't you?" she replied sarcastically. After hearing the yelling all eyes had been on them and Isabella had barely even noticed. She was furious. How dare he walk into her house expecting her to wait for him with open arms? Who the hell did Josh Thomas think he was?
"This isn't funny anymore Is! I'M SORRY OKAY! How many times do I have to say it?" he yelled to her as everyone stared at them wide eyed. Isabella inched closer to him, narrowing her eyes.
"You're a sack of shit! Get the hell away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me and I certainly don't want your fucking half-ass apology. So take your apology and shove up your ass because you mean absolutely nothing to me anymore! You did this to me!" she screamed in his face as the forming tears began to burn her eyes. She didn't care if there were children present and she didn't care about the looks people were giving her or their genuine confusion. She was the new Isabella Saunders now and it was all because of him and what he had done. Turning on her heels, she tried to walk towards the front door but was stopped when she noticed Kelly Parks walk through her front door.
"Well it truly is a party in the Saunders house now! Welcome home-wrecker, please join us won't you," Isabella said sarcastically.
"Is, come on. Just take yourself outside okay. They're not worth it," she heard Justin say as he grabbed her shoulders. Isabella hadn't even heard Justin come near her.
"Just, what the hell is going on?" she now heard Cam asked, his voice filled with obvious concern and confusion. Finally, she could feel herself exploding. With one swift motion, she shook Justin's hand off her shoulder harshly and made her way over to Kelly.
"It's good to see you Izzy," Kelly stated, her tone matching the same sarcastic one that Isabella had extended to her upon her arrival.
"What are you, of all people, doing here?" she sneered before turning her attention back to Josh, "did you invite her just to spite me?"
"I heard my best friend was in town. You look a lot like her," Kelly bit back.
"You have a lot of nerve showing up here, you know that?"
"Why?" Kelly asked feigning hurt, "did I do something wrong?" Shaking her head, Isabella could feel the urge to slap her. How dare she throw what happened in her face so subtly?
"I don't know. Does sleeping with the whole town constitute as doing something wrong?" Isabella mused.
"Hmm..." Kelly contemplated before speaking again, "I don't know. Maybe some girls just don't appreciate what they have. But you would know something about that wouldn't you?"
Suddenly Isabella felt herself lurching forward but was stopped by Josh's body in his attempt to separate the two girls. Grabbing Isabella by the shoulders, he pushed her back gently and Isabella was almost certain that he was hiding something.
"Is! This isn't you okay. Look, just step outside and cool off. Come on Is, hurting her isn't going to make what happened or how you feel any better. Besides you're making a scene and I know you don't want to upset your parents," Josh stated.
"You don't even know how lucky you are right now," Isabella warned to Kelly as she reached towards the door handle. Even before she could open the door, she heard the words that would ultimately make her snap:
"I really am lucky. First I sleep with your boyfriend while you're still with him and now we have a baby on the way. And I owe it all to you. Guess Izzy Saunders isn't the perfect angel everyone claims her to be, now is she?"
Suddenly she felt it as the gasps filled the room. The gut wrenching pain in her heart that she had so desperately tried to avoid. Having Josh and Kelly here was bad but this had become that much worse. She hadn't even been gone for that long and suddenly it had dawned on her that her and Josh would never be together again. She'd be lying if she said that a little piece of her thought that they could have gotten back together in the future but now it was clear cut. Isabella Saunders and Joshua Thomas were over. She had been disgusted with his actions but now he had disgusted her. Turning on her heels, she felt the tears fall freely as she faced them with everyone watching on. She was hurt, embarrassment, and more importantly alone. Suddenly, she desperately needed Owen and she knew that any chance of reconciliation with Cam had flown out the window. It was simply another lie she had told him. Another lie that he probably would never forgive her for.
"Congratulations. You two deserve each other. I wish you nothing but the best," she said trying desperately to keep her composure together, "I'm sorry for ruining everyone's evening. If you'll excuse me I'm just gonna go clear my head."
"Honey..." she could hear her mother say as she walked out the door and slammed it shut. She needed out of there and she needed out of there fast and a train ticket back to Toronto had been looking pretty good right about now.
~Degrassi~
He should have known the minute he heard yelling that something good was not about to happen. Instinctively, he dragged Maya into the foyer where he witnessed his sister and Josh having a full blown argument. For two people who had a mutual break up this didn't seem mutual. At least not to him. Watching the fight unfold, he watched as Justin became increasingly nice to their sister. Now something was truly going on. He saw them talking in the kitchen earlier and they looked like they had been hiding something. Was Isabella's breakup not as mutual as she told him it was? Had she lied to him again? He couldn't even find the answers to his own questions because Kelly Parks had just entered their house and he had never seen Isabella so angry. Angry to the point of violence anyways. There was many things that Isabella Saunders was but violent was certainly not one of them and she had gotten dangerous close to Kelly despite Josh standing in the middle of them. Then the pieces came together far quicker than he had expected them too:
First I sleep with your boyfriend while you're still with him.
Now we have a baby on the way.
He could see the look on his sister's face as she turned around and he couldn't tell if this would be the moment where Isabella Saunders finally cracked. Glancing briefly at Maya, he could see the shock written on her face as well. Clearly, she hadn't been expecting anything like this either. He watched as his sister sucked in a breath before politely congratulating them and apologizing to their now shocked house guests. As his sister left, despite their mother's blatant concern, he suddenly felt his blood begin to boil. Taking a few steps closer to Josh, Cam swung; his fist connecting with Josh's jaw in one swift motion.
"Cam!" Maya screamed in surprise.
"Fuck," he cursed loudly as he shook out his hand as Maya flew to his side and examined it. He could feel the pain suddenly begin to creep up his arm as Josh stood up holding his jaw. He knew he never should have swung but he couldn't help himself. He also knew that Dallas would kill himself if he injured himself again but he didn't care about hockey. Even though he had been mad at his sister, he still needed to protect her.
Before Josh could even utter a few words to Cam, Josh's father had already ushered him and Kelly towards the door. His wife trailing closely behind. After uttering a few words to his parents, Cam watched as the Thomas's left with Mr. and Mrs. Thomas having unamused expressions on their faces. Hell, Cam would have been embarrassed if his kid ever pulled something like that. Shortly after everyone had left, Maya brought Cam into the kitchen and rummaged through the freezer for a cold pack. When she couldn't find anything, she placed a bag of frozen peas on his hand.
"Nice punch," she complimented. Wincing in pain, as he bent his fingers he looked up at her.
"Thanks," he said laughing lightly.
"Campbell Daniel Saunders. What the hell do you think you're doing, going around throwing punches at people?" his mother chastised as the rest of the family walked into the kitchen.
"Mom, that asshole deserved it. He's lucky it was Cam and not me. I'd break his face in. I've wanted to do that since Is told me what that scumbag did," Justin remarked.
"Wait you knew?" Carly asked taking the words right out of Cam's mouth, "How the hell did you know? You and Is fight more then you actually speak. No offence."
"I wouldn't have known if she didn't call me to pick her up. I've never seen Izzy like that. Normally she doesn't give two fucks but that night she looked so broken," Justin stated. Now Cam felt sick. Izzy looking broken? That wasn't his sister. He just wish she would have told him.
"Your sister has always been like that. She likes to deal with things on her own. She gets that from your mother," Mr. Saunders remarked, which earned him a glare from his wife.
"Is Izzy going to come back?" a frightened Dylan asked as he stepped in the doorway of the kitchen. Taking him in her arms, Mrs. Saunders kissed the side of his head.
"Of course she's coming back honey. Look why don't we get you to bed okay," Mrs. Saunders stated. Shaking his head profusely, Dylan wouldn't budge.
"I want to wait for Izzy! What if there's another thunderstorm? Izzy always makes me feel better when it thunderstorms," he stated with a pout, looking as if he was on the verge of tears.
"Hey, it's okay. Look how about I read you a bedtime story and we'll wait for Is," their mother suggested.
"Can Maya read it to me?" he asked eagerly, obviously forgetting. Taken aback, Maya looked towards Cam. She had only been here two days and Dylan had already warmed up to her enough to want her to read him a bedtime story.
"Sure. I'd love too if it's okay with your mom," Maya replied looking at Mrs. Saunders tentatively. She didn't want to take over Mrs. Saunders spot to read Dylan a bedtime story.
"It's alright with me Maya. How about you and Dylan go pick one out. We can wait for Is and will let you know when she's home." Taking Dylan's hand in hers, she heard him blabber on about the new story he had wanted to hear as they made their way up the stairs. Maya had sincerely hoped that Isabella was okay. She'd never seen her so upset but even she couldn't deny that she would have been too if Cam had done something like that to her with Tori. She knew Cam never would but seeing the hurt on Isabella's face had made her upset. No one deserved that. Especially not Isabella Saunders.
~Degrassi~
Isabella had been completely unaware of the time and she hadn't known how long she'd been gone. In the past seventeen, almost eighteen, years she had circled this park on numerous occasions and for some unclear reason she hadn't known why she continued to walk around aimlessly. Looking up at the sky all she wanted was an answer. She wanted to know how all this could have happened. Was it her? Did she deserve this? What had she done so poorly that someone made her feel like this? She didn't even know why she had been so upset. She had a great guy back at home. Owen cared about her and yet she couldn't help but let Joshua Thomas and Kelly Parks get under her skin. Hell, she never even let Dallas or Luke Baker get to her in this way.
She knew she wasn't going to get an answer. Maybe everyone was wrong. Maybe there wasn't someone up there. Sure she wasn't a devoted Christian like the Bakers were but she liked to believe that someone was up there looking out for her. There had to be someone up there that could explain all this to her. Great Is, now your contemplating religion, her subconscious mused. She would contemplate anything at this point. Anything to get Kelly's fucking words out of her fucking head.
First I sleep with your boyfriend while you're still with him.
Now we have a baby on the way.
She wanted to be sick. She wanted a train ticket. She wanted to pack her bags and get out. This place wasn't home anymore. Toronto was. Her life in Toronto was what she craved right now. She wanted Owen. Katie. Eli. Jake. Degrassi. Hell, she'd even take Dallas at this point. She wanted her own home. Her own bed. Her own life back. But above all else, she wanted her little bit of sanity back. As she continued to stare up at the sky, she found herself sobbing uncontrollably. She'd have to go back at some point. They'd all been trying to reach her.
Six missed calls from Mom.
Three texts from Justin.
Two texts from Carly.
A phone call from Maya.
Four texts and four missed calls from Cam.
Multiple apology texts and voice mails from Josh.
She wanted to smash her phone to the ground. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to see anyone and she down right refused to give Josh the time of day. He had already destroyed her so there was nothing else left to destroy. But she needed to get home. She'll pack if she had too. She'll hop on the next train back to Toronto. She didn't belong here anymore. Kapusaksing could be a distant memory if she wanted it to be. And right now she wanted that more than anything.
As she made her way out the park, she could hear the thunder booming. Next came the rain.
"Really?" she asked out loud as she stared up the the sky once more. Of course, she'd get caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. As if her day hadn't been bad enough, she was now on the verge of getting an pneumonia and there was no way she was running in heels.
After a 10 minute trek, she finally made it to her house and noticed that all the lights were still on. Checking her phone, and praying it wasn't damaged from the rain, she noticed that she had been out for almost two hours. Normally her parents never stayed up past 11:30 but she knew they had been concerned about her when they were still up at nearly 3 a.m. Opening the door, she stripped off her leather jacket (more like peeled it off as it clung to her) and dropped it on the floor. She was soaked and she hadn't wanted to trek it into the house. She knew they'd be bombarding her at the door at any given moment and she tried to compose herself. She had been crying ever since she left but she had to compose herself. She would not be weak. She couldn't.
"Is!" she heard her mother yell as she ran towards her, "thank God you're okay. We were so worried honey."
"Don't be worried. I'm alive," Isabella stated dryly.
"Honey, if you want to talk..." her mother began.
"No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you guys to play the sympathy card on me. I'm a big girl, I can do this on my own," Isabella interrupted. She could feel her anger coming back. She wasn't angry with them, she was angry with the situation.
"Baby girl we're just concerned. It's okay to be upset," her father stated trying to console her. She waited for this moment. The moment to explode and she could feel the words flying out of her mouth so quickly that her brain couldn't even keep up.
"I don't need you all telling me that it's okay to be upset! I'll be fucking upset if I damn well please! How would YOU FEEL if someone went and did what Josh had done to me to you! I should have never come home! This town isn't home, it's a shithole filled with people who are bitter and empty! I refuse to be that person here. Let him have his fucking family for all I care. I'm not staying here another day!"
"Izzy calm down," Justin replied.
"I am not going to calm down! I'm tired okay! I'm sick and tired of this damn town and everyone in it. I have a one-way train ticket with my name on it back to Toronto. I knew this was going to happen. Do I deserve it? Am I so horrible that my boyfriend would go cheat on me with my best friend! Am I that bad of a person?" she screamed. She couldn't take it anymore. Isabella Saunders had officially lost it and she would not be waiting for a half-ass response.
"I can't do this anymore!" she screamed with one last breath before she bolted up the stairs leaving her family gaping at the mouths. Mrs. Saunders had wanted to follow her but Campbell had already beat her too it, climbing the stairs two steps at a time. He was finally going to get the answers to all of his questions even if his sister had completely lost her sanity.
~Degrassi~
With every step Cam took there was a sound to accompany it.
One step. Boom.
Second step. Bang.
Third step. Silence.
Repeat.
Making his way over to his sister's room, he hadn't even bothered to knock. He only had peaked in slightly to see her hysterical sobbing as she threw her clothes into her suitcase. So she really was leaving? Why had Josh done this to her and why had she lied about it? His sister never cried and yet she couldn't control the tears that had been falling for, what he had assumed to be, hours. Stepping into her room, he watched her look over her shoulder to glance at him, scoffing as she did so.
"What can I help you with Cam? Here to tell me what a horrible sister and liar I am? I already know," she snapped, wiping her runny nose with the back of her hand.
"I just came to see if you were okay," he said quietly.
"I'm fine. You can go back to not talking to me now. You don't have to pretend to like me anymore," she barked back as she walked over to her dresser to grab her hair products before throwing them into her suitcase.
"Is that what you think? You think that I hate you? That I have to pretend to like you?" he exasperated in one breath.
"I would hate me. I do hate myself so I don't see why you shouldn't," she said as a fresh batch of tears formed in her eyes. Sinking onto her bed, he could see his sister place her head in her hands, sobbing hysterically. Walking over to her, he sat down next to her and draped an arm over her shoulder, pulling her close.
"I don't hate you Izzy. I could never hate you. I just don't like that you've been keeping things from me."
"I'm scared," she said into the deep, uncomfortable silence.
"Of what?" he asked sympathetically.
"That I'm going to lose you."
"You aren't going to lose me, Is. We live in the same house and I'm really not interested in moving!" he said lightly, attempting to make light of the situation before him.
"Not like that Cam!" she yelled, "I keep having these stupid nightmares that you kill yourself in the greenhouse. And every night, it gets worse and worse and I never get the chance to save you. You're just gone."
"How long?" he asked shocked, "how long Is!?"
"About three weeks," she muttered quietly.
"Why didn't you come talk to me? That's how Owen found out didn't he? You really hadn't done it on purpose," Cam said in disbelief. Now, he felt like an asshole as he watched his sister shake her head as her hand masked the sobs coming from her mouth.
"When he slept over, I was talking in my sleep and when I bolted awake, he demanded to know what was wrong. I tried to hide but I was just so tired that I let it slip. I told you I didn't do it on purpose."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he questioned.
"Because I was scared that you would actually consider it. I know it's stupid but what if Cam? What if you have another bad day and it's just over. I CAN'T LOSE YOU!" she screamed as her entire being fell underneath her.
"Hey..." he said, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, "I would never kill myself Is! I've told you that. I promised you. Do you think I could ever leave you or Maya? You two are the reason I hold on. That means something to me Is. God, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was such an asshole. I'm sorry you're scared. And I'm sorry that dickwad did what he did to you."
"But it's his loss Izzy. He lost you! He lost someone who did everything in her power to keep her relationship in tact. He lost the girl that would move miles away from home just to make sure someone else was having a better day then she was. He's the fuck up! Not you! Don't hate yourself, please! You're so much better then that. Weren't you the one who said that people who stay in Kapusaksing are bitter and empty? He's going to be bitter with that tramp and you're going to have your own fashion line and live in an amazing city with people who can't wait to wear something Isabella Saunders designed and Maya and I are going to be there for you. Katie, Eli, Jake, and Owen will all be there for you. You're better than him! You're better than this town! We all are!"
"Do you really mean that?" she asked, her voice squeaking slightly. Smiling to himself, he nodded his head.
"You bet your smart ass I mean that! So what do you say? Can we be siblings again? I miss my big sister," Cam stated. Wiping away her tears, she pulled him into a hug.
"I missed you too, Cam."
"Good. Now no more lying... okay? Complete honesty from now on. We are going to get a fresh start this semester. You and me. No more beating ourselves up over things we can't control. It's you and me big Saunders, understand?"
"I got it little Saunders. And thank you. You've always been my favourite," she sniffled.
"Yeah, you're kind of my favourite too. Just don't tell Maya alright. I'd like to keep my relationship," he joked as he helped pick her up off the floor. Wiping her hands on her, now soaked, jeans, she pulled herself together. Her fresh start would have too wait. Right now, she had a ton of apologizes to make and scores to settle. No matter how badly she missed Toronto.
~Degrassi~
Okay, so I know this update took forever but it had to be forever because I made it extra long for all you beautiful readers (on Microsoft Word, I kid you not, this bad boy was just under nineteen pages!) This is the longest chapter I've ever written and it is all because you guys have undenying faith in me. I know I thank you guys all the time but I don't think you guys truly know how grateful I am to have you all continuing to read this story. I know I said I was making Kapusaksing a three parter but I still have more stuff I want to add (hope you guys don't mind). A lot happened in this chapter but I don't plan on this story finishing any time soon. I will give you all a heads up when this story is coming to a conclusion. But, like I just stated, you guys are stuck with me for a little while (again, I hope you all don't mind! I love having you guys in my life!). I love to write and it is because of you're encouragement that I've been considering writing a novel. I believe that writing is the essence of the soul and we can only learn from things people have experienced. Every great love story is derived from not only the love of reading but the love of exploring the imagination and things you want for yourself. I know some of you are writers as well and I continue to encourage you to chase your imagination and your dreams. And just to be clear I do read all of your stories, my lazy butt just forgets to review. But I do read them and I love them all. I have the utmost respect for all of you and I am so inspired and in awe of your creations. You all have a burning talent that needs to be explored and I'm so happy you utilize your talent. As long as you believe in yourself the rest does not matter. No matter how much criticism you get always know that for every person's negativity there are hundreds of people with nothing but positive things to say. So continue writing. Continue exploring. And most importantly, never, EVER, give up on something you believe in.
You guys are absolutely incredible and thank you so much for continuing this amazing journey with me. I have a few tricks up my sleeve still so stay tuned!
Much love,
Sam