Chapter 21: Communication Is Key
A/N: Eep! Now you guys can stop yelling at me about how Blaine is a terrible boyfriend…
Blaine felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out, smiling when he saw a text from Kurt with a picture attached. Full house. Wish me luck. He was about to reply when his phone was snatched from his hands. He looked up to see that it was Peter. He frowned. "Peter, give me my phone."
Peter chuckled, stuffing the device in his pocket. "Relax! Come on, you're supposed to have fun tonight. It's a party! It's your party! You just did your first tour with your music! That's something to celebrate."
"Just let me text Kurt back," Blaine pleaded. "I promised him I would call him tonight, Peter."
"And I promised these lovely people that you'd do an encore! Come on, it's just one more performance before we go home. Kurt will understand."
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Blaine nodded uneasily. He knew there was no arguing with Peter. He was just trying to help him, after all. Right?
So he got up on stage and did what he was told. And he had no idea that Peter was ignoring all six missed calls from a very frustrated Kurt who had reached his breaking point.
Later that night, Blaine stalked over to his manager and held out his hand expectantly. "Give me my phone."
Peter rolled his eyes and handed him his cell phone. "Fine. Oh, by the way, Kurt called. Like, five times, I think. I hope it's not serious."
Blaine's eyes widened in disbelief. "Peter!" he exclaimed, loudly to be heard over the noise of the party. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I told you I was supposed to talk to him tonight!"
"Blaine," Peter said. "Relax. It's not even that late. Just call him back. Don't be too long."
Blaine glared at him before walking up the stairs and into a random room where he could have some quiet. "Asshole," he muttered as he left the party, half-hoping that Peter somehow heard him. He was about to dial Kurt's number when he saw he had a voicemail and he cursed. Six missed calls and a voicemail. That either meant that something happened with Kurt's dad and Kurt was panicking or that Kurt was pissed at him and Blaine was in trouble.
He didn't like either option, but he would rather have the latter if it meant Kurt's dad was okay. Kurt didn't need that on top of everything.
Heart pounding in his throat, he pressed play on the voicemail app.
"Blaine, why are you not answering your phone? Tonight was the one night that you promised you'd pick up the phone! I understand you're busy, but for once can you put me first? Don't I have the right to want to talk to my boyfriend once in a while?
"Oh, and by the way, we lost Nationals. Not that you care, but I needed you. I need you and you can't even pick up your damn phone! I've needed you for months but I haven't said anything because I know how important this tour is for you. I've been miserable because I don't want to hurt you! But you know what? I'm done! I'm done feeling like I'm going to fall apart and I'm done waiting for you to care enough to put me first. I can't keep doing this, Blaine. It just hurts too much.
"Just so you know, no matter how miserable I am and no matter how hurt, I never stopped loving you and I never will. Now I just need you to care."
Cursing loudly, Blaine hung up the phone before dialing Kurt's number with shaky fingers. He clutched his t-shirt in his free hand to keep it from trembling. He was panicking, playing Kurt's words over and over in his head. I can't keep doing this, Blaine… Now I just need you to care… I'm done…
I do care! I do, he wanted to scream. Don't leave me!
The call went to voicemail and he ran his hand through his hair, groaning and dialing Kurt's number over and over. It went to voicemail each time. "Dammit!" He threw his phone into the pile of pillows on the bed. Then he picked it up again and typed out a desperate text to Kurt.
Please answer your phone. I'm so sorry. I need to talk to you, Kurt, please. –Blaine
After a few minutes with no response, he groaned and texted him again.
Baby, please talk to me. I can explain. Don't give up on me. –Blaine
I need you, okay? I care about you, more than I've ever cared about anyone in my entire life. I love you. I don't want you to be miserable. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry that you lost Nationals. I'm sorry for everything. Just please, don't give up on me. –Blaine
Less than a minute later, he got a response, but it only made him feel worse.
Stop texting me. Stop calling me. I don't want to talk to you or even see you. I'm not reading those texts and I'm ignoring your calls so there's no point. I told you: I'm done. –Kurt
Blaine started crying, then, breaking down and holding his phone to his chest. Somebody walked in the room but he hardly noticed them as they quickly apologized and left him alone. He deserved the loneliness, he supposed. He'd hurt the one person who loved him without question. He'd hurt Kurt; beautiful, strong, loving Kurt. How could he have been so stupid? How did he not see that Kurt was falling apart? He should've noticed. He should've tried harder. He should've called his boyfriend like he said he would.
He should've done a lot of things. But what he needed to do now was book a plane ticket back home.
"Blaine, where are you going?" Peter demanded.
"I'm going back to the hotel and then I'm going to the airport. Then I'm catching the first flight back to Ohio."
"What? No, no, no; you're not going anywhere. We still have five more days in L.A. for interviews."
"Cancel the interviews. All of them. I'm going home."
Peter grabbed Blaine's wrist and Blaine yanked his arm free, turning to Peter with eyes blazing. Peter grabbed his arm again, holding on tight and pulling Blaine closer. "Blaine," Peter said, voice dangerously low. "You're not going anywhere."
"I'm eighteen," Blaine reminded him, trying to tug his arm away. "Let go of me!" he said, whimpering as Peter tightened his grip. He started pulling Blaine towards the door and didn't let go of his arm until they were in the car. "Peter!" Blaine protested. He tried to open the door just as Peter locked it. "You can't do this! I'm an adult, in case you've forgotten."
"We have a contract, in case you've forgotten. That means that I own you, Blaine."
Blaine glared at him. "If my memory serves me right, I'm pretty sure that contract says that you let me run things how I want to."
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong," Peter said with a laugh. "I let you do your music and you give me full control otherwise. You think you're in control? Good luck fighting that."
For the first time, Blaine realized that Peter didn't care about him at all. All he cared about was the tour and using Blaine as his little toy. Well, Blaine was done being played with.
That night, they went to the airport, preparing to get on a flight to L.A., and Blaine was all too aware of Peter's vice grip on his wrist. He could feel it leaving bruises and he winced when Peter practically dragged him towards the gate.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Blaine lied. He knew it was the only way Peter would let go of him.
Peter gritted his teeth, looking at the line of people getting on the plane. "You better hurry, kid."
Blaine felt his heart leap—success—and he grabbed his bag before walking towards the bathroom. Once he saw Peter looking away for a moment, he dashed over the gate that had a sign above it, reading: 10:45 p.m.—Washington, D.C., to Lima, Ohio.
The plane was boarding for his group right when he got there, so he hurried to his spot in line. He saw Peter glancing towards the bathrooms and he felt his heart pounding. Then Peter looked over and saw Blaine, but he was already boarding the plane. Blaine quickly thanked the woman taking tickets before he practically ran to get on the plane. Once he was in his seat, he could breathe a sigh of relief. He was going home. And he was going to fix things with Kurt.
Kurt walked with Nick to the cafeteria in silence. He was refusing to talk about Blaine no matter how many times Nick asked him what had happened. All he knew was that Kurt came back to the hotel with tears in his eyes and he silently cried himself to sleep. The next day, they got on a plane back to Ohio and returned to school on Monday. It was April 27th, five days before Blaine was supposed to come home, and Kurt was trying really hard not to care.
"Look, I get that you don't want to talk about it, but don't shut me out completely," Nick pleaded, sitting down across from Kurt once they got their lunch.
"I just don't feel like talking, okay? I'm just… bummed about Nationals."
"And don't lie to me," Nick sighed. "It sucks that we lost, but I know that's not it. It's Blaine, isn't it?"
Kurt flinched and Nick knew that he'd hit the dot. "Nick, don't," he warned.
"What did he do this time?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Kurt snapped, louder than he'd meant to. A few heads turned towards him and he looked down at his food, embarrassed. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I just don't want to talk about it."
"I'm sorry," Nick said. As Jeff joined them, Kurt stood up and left the cafeteria. He ran to his dorm and texted Mercedes.
I think I broke up with him. –Kurt
Wait, what? Kurt! What happened?! –Mercedes
A few tears fell on his screen and he typed back a reply.
I don't know. I got mad and I left a voicemail. I think we're broken up. –Kurt
What do I do? –Kurt
Mercedes, help me... –Kurt
Okay, okay. Look, just talk to him. Call him, text him, something. –Mercedes
Wait, do you *want* to be broken up? –Mercedes
No! I don't know. Maybe? –Kurt
I don't know what I want. I don't think I want to lose him, though. –Kurt
Kurt, open the door. Please? –Nick
Kurt sighed and hesitated for a moment.
I'll talk to you later, Cedes. My roommate wants to talk for a minute. –Kurt
Okay. I love you, Kurt. It'll all work out, okay? Call me later xoxo. –Mercedes
Kurt set his phone down and opened the door just a little. "What do you want?" he asked Nick.
"Just, um… We need you in the commons area. Impromptu Warbler meeting. They specifically asked for you…"
Kurt frowned, confused. "Why?"
Nick shrugged. "I don't know. Ask them. They told me to come get you."
Tentatively, Kurt followed Nick to the commons area but there were no Warblers in sight except for Nick and himself.
"Nick, what's going on?" Kurt asked, frowning.
Nick looked slightly apologetic. "Just… listen. And don't be mad at me."
He grabbed Kurt's shoulders to turn him around and Kurt gasped when he saw who was standing in front of him. "Blaine, what—"
"Kurt, I know you're mad at me. I'm mad at me, too," Blaine said, holding a guitar with the strap over his shoulders. "But please… I need you to hear me out. I love you and I would never forgive myself if I lost you. I'd do anything for you, even if that means screwing up my chances as a performer. I don't care about any of that if I can't have you to hold me at the end of the day. I'm an idiot for hurting you, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I'm not going to stop trying to earn your forgiveness. That being said…" he trailed off, placing his fingers on the guitar strings and starting to strum. Kurt stood there, shocked, and he couldn't do anything but stare as Blaine sang to him.
There's a lot of talk about me
People lining up to meet me
I'm on the verge of celebrity
So what you think about that?
I've got friends in high places
Louis Vuitton suitcases
Look at all the pretty faces
So what you think about that?
So why do I feel like it's all just a show?
You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away
'Cause I'm nothing if I don't have you
What's the point in being on top, all the money in the world
If I can't blow it all on you
So send the cars back, put the house on the market
And my big dreams, too
'Cause it's all so clear, that without you here
I'm the loser of the year
I'm at a party in a mansion
There's a lot of high fashion
And I'm cooler than I've ever been
So what you think about that?
I'm living life in the fast lane
I've got a fridge full of champagne
And I'm hanging out with Lil' Wayne
So what you think about that?
So why do I feel like it's all just a show?
You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away
'Cause I'm nothing if I don't have you
What's the point in being on top, all the money in the world
If I can't blow it all on you
So send the cars back, put the house on the market
And my big dreams, too
'Cause it's all so clear, that without you hear
I'm the loser of the year
I'm the loser of the year
I can try real hard, I can try to pretend
That all these dreams make any sense without you
But that just ain't true
I thought these things would make me forget
About you and me but you're stuck in my head
I'm a loser, if I lose you!
You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away
'Cause I'm nothing if I don't have you
What's the point in being on top, all the money in the world
If I can't blow it all on you
You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away
If I don't have you
So send the cars back, put the house on the market
And my big dreams, too
'Cause it's all so clear, that I need you near
Yeah it's all so clear, that without you here
I'm the loser of the year
Loser of the year
I'm the loser of the year
Loser of the year
It was then that Kurt realized that he didn't mind if Blaine gave up the tour for him. He didn't mind because he realized that Kurt was the only family Blaine had left and of course he would give up anything to keep that. And he didn't actually blame Blaine for not noticing Kurt's misery earlier because Kurt didn't want him to know. In that moment, Kurt knew that he would never give up on Blaine, no matter how hard things got.
Blaine set his guitar aside and Kurt launched himself into Blaine's arms. "I missed you so much," he whispered.
"I love you," Blaine said, clutching at Kurt's back and shoulders. "I need you, Kurt…" His voice sounded so broken and Kurt hated it.
"I'm here. You've got me."
"You… You said you were done. Done with me…"
"I didn't mean that," Kurt sighed. "I was angry and you weren't answering my calls and I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," Blaine said, pulling back to look into Kurt's eyes and cup his face in both hands. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Kurt. I never meant to."
"I forgive you," Kurt whispered, blinking back tears. "I forgive you," he repeated more forcefully.
Blaine looked at him with shining, sincere eyes. "Thank you… Thank you, thank you, thank you…" he wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders and held him close. "Can we go to your dorm?"
Kurt sighed. "I have to go to class, honey. But I just have three more classes and then I can meet you in my dorm. I promise."
Blaine nodded, clinging to Kurt a little longer before letting him go. "Okay. I'll see you soon."
"I'll see you soon," Kurt agreed with a small smile. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss between Blaine's eyes. "I love you." Blaine let out a shaky sigh of relief.
"I love you, too, Kurt. Always."
Blaine waited in silence—well, physically, but his head was like a hurricane of screaming thoughts battling for his attention—in Kurt's dorm, lying down on his bed and just thinking. He was so relieved that Kurt was willing to forgive him, but he couldn't help the guilt creeping up on him. He shouldn't have listened to Peter. He should've been there to answer Kurt's calls. He had been a terrible boyfriend and he didn't understand why Kurt didn't just break up with him already.
Once that thought entered his mind, he couldn't relax at all. He sat up on Kurt's bed with his back against the wall and hugged a pillow to his chest. Now that he'd hurt Kurt, he figured it was inevitable that Kurt would break up with him eventually. Before, he'd been so certain. He never had reason to doubt before, but now he knew that Kurt had every reason to leave and break his heart. He loved Kurt and he knew Kurt loved him. And he believed that Kurt still loved him, but how could he forgive him so easily? Good things never came easily to Blaine, and that had to include Kurt. They'd passed their honeymoon phase and now Blaine was getting what he always got: heartbreak.
But Blaine had been so careful. He'd done everything he could to keep Kurt happy; to make sure he never upset Kurt. He tried not to make the same mistake that he'd made with everyone else. He'd pissed off his parents when he came out, and now they were distant and cold. He'd lost the one friend he had at his old school because of his stupid "image" that had been set up by his manager. And now he'd hurt the love of his life, and Kurt was being so kind and forgiving and wonderful like he always was. It didn't make sense to him that Kurt could love him just the same after how badly he'd screwed up. Everybody else in his life gave up on him, so why should Kurt be any different?
Because Kurt is different, said the little voice in his head. Kurt's not like everyone else.
Of course. Kurt was different; he was special and wonderful and so much better than anyone Blaine could ever imagine. That was why Kurt still loved him. He forgave Blaine because he saw something in Blaine that no one else—not even Blaine—could see. Others had cast him aside at the first bump in the road, but Kurt had stayed with him. Of course he did. Because that was what Kurt did for the people he loved. Once he cared about someone, they were family and Kurt never abandoned his family.
Family. The word left a lump in his throat and he squeezed the pillow closer to his chest. I'm family. I'm Kurt's family. And he's mine.
With that thought, he finally smiled, lying down again and closing his eyes. For the first time since he came out, he had a family that loved him.
A little less than three hours after Blaine went to Kurt's dorm room Kurt opened the door and found his boyfriend sleeping in a huddled ball of blankets. He couldn't help but smile fondly, sitting on the edge of the mattress and running his fingers through Blaine's curls. Blaine let out a soft sigh in his sleep and nuzzled into Kurt's hand.
Kurt felt his heart swell. Sometimes it just hit him that he was the only person that Blaine trusted this much. No one else had the privilege of seeing Blaine so vulnerable and open. To know that Blaine felt comfortable enough to sleep in Kurt's bed… It was touching. It sometimes made him sad because it meant that everyone else had done something to lose Blaine's trust, but he was glad to be the one to act as Blaine's anchor.
He brushed a few curls out of Blaine's eyes and brushed his thumb over his cheekbone. He was so beautiful, so soft. Kurt couldn't help but press a soft kiss to his forehead. When he pulled back, he realized that Blaine was holding one of Kurt's pillows to his chest, clutching at the comfort. But that wasn't what made him gasp. He brushed his fingertips over Blaine's forearm, tears coming to his eyes. The tan skin was splotchy with multi-colored bruises, finger-shaped bruises.
"Blaine…" he whispered. "Oh, honey… Who did this to you?"
Sighing, he gently pulled the pillow away from Blaine's hold. Blaine's left hand—the one with the bruises—immediately reached out to retrieve the pillow but his fingers latched onto Kurt's shirt instead. Kurt smiled sadly and stripped off his Dalton blazer before slipping into Blaine's embrace. Blaine hugged him tightly as he rested his head on Blaine's chest.
Whoever hurt his Blaine, they weren't going to get away with it.
A/N: Yay, an update! Poor Blaine… Poor Kurt… They'll be happy soon, I promise.
Until next time!
Review please :)